RAW is 'the same as ever' - 12.17.18 and 12.24.18

[slik]

https://i.imgur.com/pvxcJDp.jpg

https://www.foxsportsasia.com/uploads/2018/12/wwe-raw-vince.jpg

[Lock Jaw]

If Charlotte or Becky get moved to RAW, I will strongly consider going to the RAW house show that is here in February. Otherwise, nah forget it.

[Droford]

Shakeup will probably be 1/7 to combat the national championship game

[Sepholio]

Shakeup will probably be 1/7 to combat the national championship game

Not in a million years would they choose that day. Would be the second dumbest decision possible next to somehow running it against the Superbowl.

[RP]

Becky and Charlotte to Raw
Ambrose to Smackdwon
Nakamura to Raw
Sasha and Bayley to Smackdown
Finn Balor to Smackdown
Samoa Joe to RAW

[ClockShot]

A friendly reminder, none of the shit that's happened the last few weeks is Baron Corbin's fault.

None whatsoever.

This is Vince's mess. We know he's not going to cop to it.

[Dark One]

You're all wrong.

Given the historical trajectory of their decisions, Vince will shake-up Raw by announcing it's going to be four hours long starting in 2019.

[Lock Jaw]

I wonder who the General Manager will be after tonight!!!!!

Personally, I think it should be someone Anonymous.

[Dark One]

A friendly reminder, none of the shit that's happened the last few weeks is Baron Corbin's fault.

None whatsoever.

This is Vince's mess. We know he's not going to cop to it.

You're going to feel like a real asshole when he Budd Dwyer's himself in the ring.

[RP]

piped in cheers lol

[Dark One]

I wonder who the General Manager will be after tonight!!!!!

Personally, I think it should be someone Anonymous.

How many matches did you make while pooping?

[Sepholio]

Here we go lol

[slik]

Here we go...

[Lock Jaw]

Weirded out by Vince's tie.....

[ClockShot]

Is this place actually full?

[Dark One]

Baron Corbin is being demoted to GM of NXT Lithuania.

[RP]

Commentators already sounding like this is gonna be a load of bullshit.

[slik]

I feel like whatever Vince does will just be reshuffling bad booking between new characters

[ClockShot]

Why do the ratings suck, Vince?

[Dark One]

Weirded out by Vince's tie.....

He's turning his old coats into ties.

http://www.wrestlingmedia.org/wv/01/16551/16551.jpg

Soon enough he'll turn out-to-pasture superstars into ties too... Along with their last names.

[erickman]

boooooo

[Dark One]

"WE'RE GONNA BRING BACK THE WORD ART OVERLAYS FROM LAST YEAR MOTHERFUCKERS. EAT IT."

[rez]

YOU'RRRRRRRRRRRE FIRED

[Lock Jaw]

McMahons kicking off RAW!!! If the ratings aren't spiking right now, it is obviously Finn Balor's fault!!!

[RP]

Macho Man had them titties in his mouth once.

[Dark One]

Vince's eyebags make it look like he hasn't slept in 47 years.

Which is probably true.

In 10 years his face will be 90% eyebag.

[Droford]

Is this place actually full?

Just imagine 5 hours from now after the final segment of next week's Raw

[KIRA]

Are those boos for Vince McMahon I just got here if they are this is the greatest day ever

[ClockShot]

Oh, Triple H, too.

[RP]

Maybe Vince is about to retire.

[slik]

Renee kissing Steph's ass on commentary

[DAMN iNATOR]

I hate to say it but Vince looks every bit of his 73+ years old tonight...:(:-\

[Dark One]

Here's the Shake-Up:

THE GRANDCHILDREN ARE NOW RUNNING RAW

[Dark One]

This opening segment will be three hours of McMahon introductions.

[ClockShot]

?

Is it Tuesday?

[slik]

Cole kissing HHH's ass on commentary...

[Droford]

We want Linda chant hopefully

[RP]

Maybe they bought IMPACT?????!!!!???!!!???

[Lock Jaw]

R-Truth should come out now

[Sepholio]

Do away with the PG era plz.

[Dark One]

NEXT UP THE ADMINISTRATOR OF THE SMALL BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION LINDA MCMAAAAHOOONNNNN

[KIRA]

He's going to fire Mojo Rawley and that should fix everything

[Dark One]

NEXT UP THE PRODUCER OF THE DOCUMENTARY SHITTING ON THE COUNTRY THAT PAID US A TRILLION DOLLARS MARISSSAAAA MCMAHOOONNN

[DAMN iNATOR]

If Linda wasn't running the Small Business Administration, she'd probably be there too LMAO.

[slik]

Graves not kissing Shane's ass on commentary

[ClockShot]

Oh?

There's some truth to this?

[Dark One]

NEXT UP THE GHOST OF MY FATHER, VINCE MCMAHON SR

[Dark One]

NEXT UP -- Wait. What. Is this serious

[Droford]

Absentee management? Uh...

[Dark One]

Wait

Is this a Russo-style WCW Reboot or.. Oh god. It's McMahonapalooza forever.

[Sepholio]

This is surreal. It really is.

[RP]

ARE THEY GIVING ME ALEXA BLISS PUSSY AND BUTTHOLE ON A PLATE????

[Dark One]

FIVE HOURS OF BECKY LYNCH OR GET OUT

[slik]

oh god, please not all 4 of them on every week

[Dark One]

I'm going to need actual announcements so I can stop shitposting.

[DAMN iNATOR]

"Something new, something fresh...like these rambling 20 minute long promos to start RAW!"

[erickman]

so they are going to turn smackdown to crap too

[Lock Jaw]

They should follow this up with a Mojo Rawley match

[Dark One]

"Tonight's first new match-up: Seth Rollins vs Cesaro."

[Sepholio]

Vince is crying....I wonder if he is handing over the reigns to the kids in reality and is about to step back.

[ClockShot]

That's it?

Oh, here's Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaron Corbin.

[Dark One]

So

Was that legit or kayfabe or--

That was a lot of nothing wasn't--

Uhh

[rez]

This is boring, this is boring

[Dark One]

Vince is crying....I wonder if he is handing over the reigns to the kids in reality and is about to step back.

He may just have old man weepy eyes.

[slik]

That was a big bowl of Nothing

[Lock Jaw]

So

Was that legit or kayfabe or--

That was a lot of nothing wasn't--

Uhh

SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO THEM SHOUT BUZZWORDS

[KIRA]

I'm still kind of on eggshells they have a history of mocking their fans

[Dark One]

"BARON CORBIN... YOOUUU'RRREEEE HIIRRREED TO BE NXT SAUDI ARABIA GENERAL MANAGER"

[rez]

lol commercial

[Lock Jaw]

Cole: "This oughta be good" *fade to commercial*

[Droford]

This ought to be good..

*Commercial*

[ClockShot]

Random commercial break.

[Dark One]

Running out of shitposting momentum. Please give me something to work with WWE.

[RP]

My first request will be that Becky Lynch lets me put my mouth on her butthole.

[slik]

I DO NOT WANT to see more Steph and Shane, at all, on TV. Calling up new people doesn't mean anything if you book them badly.

[DAMN iNATOR]

If Corbin thought last night was unfair just wait until he learns they cut him off mid-sent

[KIRA]

If they were really going to give us what we want they were fire Kevin Dunn on the air

[Lock Jaw]

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR WWE PAIGE'S JOB?!!

[Jordan]

Weird spot for a commercial. Corbin should have come out in a wheelchair lol.

[Jordan]

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR WWE PAIGE'S JOB?!!

I hope she stays because I love her big lips and tits.

[RP]

This is boring and stupid .

[ClockShot]

The piped in boos are not helping.

[Lock Jaw]

Do they still think they are in commercial and are filling time?

[RP]

Can we get to the fucking point already.

[RP]

About to switch the channel

[Dark One]

THE BRAND NEW RAW EVERYBODY

[KIRA]

They are gonna resume my boy Konners megapush!

[Droford]

Watching Baron Corbin drown live

[Sepholio]

Jesus if they are listening to the fans then this will be the last time Corbin is ever on TV lol

[Evil Vito]

New Raw theme: “Same Old Song and Dance” by Aerosmith

[KIRA]

I bet the real solution they're going to come up with is let's strip Smackdown of everything good and give it to Raw and then do absolutely nothing with it

[rez]

Kiss his ass?

[Droford]

Unless

[Dark One]

YOUR NEW RAW GENERAL MANAGER...

TORU YANO

https://media1.tenor.com/images/6d25d8279d8b74bf82509017fd117517/tenor.gif?itemid=9173871

[ClockShot]

Vince, a genius?

:rofl:

[Evil Vito]

Raw has had a heel authority figure almost nonstop since 2002. Fucking be done with it.

[Sepholio]

Heres Lars, watch.

[Sepholio]

Oh wow, Kurts back.

[ClockShot]

Oh, look, Angle's back.

[Lock Jaw]

Weren't Steph/Triple H beefing with Angle.......

[RP]

How did Angle even know?

[KIRA]

The sheer Brilliance is Vincent Kennedy McMahon everybody

[ClockShot]

I'M JUST ONE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

[slik]

This ain't it chief

[Jordan]

I don't know how the McMahon's pulled this one off! Kurt Angle!?

[Ruien]

Raw has had a heel authority figure almost nonstop since 2002. Fucking be done with it.

Raw had Kurt and Mick back to back.

[Lock Jaw]

I'M JUST ONE MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

WE'RE A THREE MAN BAND!!!

[Jordan]

HE'S GOT KIDS

[Droford]

Angle has unflattering ring attire

[Evil Vito]

Raw had Kurt and Mick back to back.

With Steph and HHH constantly lurking overhead

[Jordan]

I f'ing love Heath Slater you guys.

[DAMN iNATOR]

Dear Captioners,

Who the FUCK is Keith Slater?!

[KIRA]

Kurt Angle single glove drives me nuts

[Jordan]

This is like Kurt Angle vs The Bartender. Glad this matches isn't going to WM or something like that.

[Droford]

WE'RE A THREE MAN BAND!!!

Reunion Tour with special guest Elias

[KIRA]

I really do feel like he Slater has a job there for life

[KIRA]

WE'RE A THREE MAN BAND!!!

Oh God if they got back together especially in their current state:drool:

[slik]

Take a wild guess what all McMahons all the time means? Eventually they all turn on eachother, like every other time they've done this angle.

Congrats, I just saved you six months of booking.

[Droford]

Take a wild guess what all McMahons all the time means? Eventually they all turn on eachother, like every other time they've done this angle.

Congrats, I just saved you six months of booking.

Fatal Four Way A McMahon in every corner at WM

[Lock Jaw]

Take a wild guess what all McMahons all the time means? Eventually they all turn on eachother, like every other time they've done this angle.

Congrats, I just saved you six months of booking.

Braun vs. Brock vs. Seth vs. Ambrose at WM with a MCMAHON IN EVERY CORNER!!!!

[Lock Jaw]

Dammit, Droford......

[ClockShot]

Oh? 4-on-1?

Let's end this match and move on.

[Droford]

This needs to be under lucha house party rules

[erickman]

faces ganging up on the poor heel again

[Sepholio]

This is actually entertaining af lol

[ClockShot]

And let's add no DQ on top of it, too.

[KIRA]

Apollo Crews the fastest rising star in the industry LOL

[rez]

Piped in scrolling marquee

[Dark One]

"WHAT JOB DO YOU GET BEAT WITH CHAIRS FOR DOING A BAD JOB?"
"WWE!"

HR's on Line 2

[Droford]

Thought for a sec Kurt was having Shield flashbacks

[Lock Jaw]

The first 30 minutes of THE NEW MONDAY NIGHT RAW!!!

[KIRA]

I miss the con chair to so much

[Dark One]

It's at least good to see the heel get comeuppance.

[Dark One]

The first 30 minutes of THE NEW MONDAY NIGHT RAW!!!

The OLD Monday Night Raw would have had Baron Corbin put Kurt Angle through a table after getting the shit kicked out of him. But the same 29 minutes before that.

[Droford]

2 hours later
"we want refunds!"

[KIRA]

Push Bray Wyatt

Never give Charlotte another title shot for at least 3 years

Give Finn Balor back the Belt he never lost

[slik]

Balor vs Ziggler

NEW ERA

[slik]

"The New Era" currently WWE marketing's new favorite buzzword

[Lock Jaw]

The new and improved Kidz Newz

https://frinkiac.com/img/S09E21/1278509.jpg

[xrodmuc316]

TIME FOR FRESH NEW MATCHUPS!!!

2nd match of the night = Dolph vs Finn...lol

[KIRA]

I can't wait until the ratings come out and it ends up being complete nosedive

[Lock Jaw]

The New Monday Night RAW!!

Finn and Dolph will only fight each other for FIVE months instead of SIX before becoming a tag team!

[KIRA]

Oh wait a minute wait a minute we get to see if they're really telling the truth about listening to the fans based on if they still push Nia Jax

[slik]

I dig the crowd being so active, wish all crowds were, I predict a cool off later though

[Droford]

Lol Strowman is in Holmes and Watson

[ClockShot]

Why, hello Renee.

Looking sharp in casualwear tonight.

[KIRA]

I feel like the title of this thread needs to be in quotes where it says shaking things up

[ClockShot]

The new and improved John Cena.

Now with hair.

[Lock Jaw]

Say this every time, but I really want a heel Finn.....

[KIRA]

New Era let's take some time to heap praise on John Cena

[slik]

Smilin' Finn

[KIRA]

Finn Balor constantly thrusting his crotch at people is not very PG

[Dark One]

I thought that referee was Heath Slater again for a second.

[Sepholio]

Crotch thrust good, PG bad.

[Dark One]

I dig the crowd being so active, wish all crowds were, I predict a cool off later though

Double Raw tonight, apparently because of the holidays.

Next week's episode is probably going to be dead quiet.

[Droford]

I thought that referee was Heath Slater again for a second.

Let's be honest. Slater's reffed his last match

[xrodmuc316]

They need more random jobbers and squash matches.

[slik]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Balor needs Gallows and Anderson badly. He's so stale as a character right now. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RAW?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RAW</a></p>&mdash; Fightful Wrestling (@FightfulWrestle) <a href="https://twitter.com/FightfulWrestle/status/1074843423012741120?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 18, 2018</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[Dark One]

THE NEW MONDAY NIGHT RAW

[Lock Jaw]

Did they start calling Drew the "Scottish Psychopath" because they heard Ciampa's nickname of the "Sicilian Psychopath" and thought it was cool?

[Lock Jaw]

If Charlotte or Becky get moved to RAW, I will strongly consider going to the RAW house show that is here in February. Otherwise, nah forget it.

Drew McIntyre makes me want to not go......

[Dark One]

Did they start calling Drew the "Scottish Psychopath" because they heard Ciampa's nickname of the "Sicilian Psychopath" and thought it was cool?

There's like five psychopaths on the rosters now.

I'm beginning to think WWE's employee mental health program is shitty.

[Dark One]

DEAN AMBROSE: COAT AFICIONADO.

[RP]

New Era seems a lot like old era to me.

[Dark One]

THE NEW MONDAY NIGHT RAW: Now with significantly more Dark One shitposting.

[Dark One]

That Steve Carrell movie preview is making me wonder if I accidentally just took a whole bunch of Oxy.

[Lock Jaw]

New Era seems a lot like old era to me.

But it's got a new hat!

[KIRA]

I just saw an ad for a Playstation 1 video games I was pretty sure I was having a stroke

[slik]

Deadly Class looks interesting IMO

[Sepholio]

They aren't listening. Dean still has the sirens in his theme.

[Lock Jaw]

Undisputed Era under the gasmasks!!! OMG!!!

[ClockShot]

Atta girl, Renee.

[KIRA]

Just the fact that the empress is going to receive what she's had coming to her makes me want to watch SmackDown

[slik]

I bet Seth is in a gas mask

[Dark One]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/6KwIajLs6X">pic.twitter.com/6KwIajLs6X</a></p>&mdash; TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) <a href="https://twitter.com/totaldivaseps/status/1074833932342976512?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 18, 2018</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[KIRA]

Okay I would be all right with those Sirens If they we're signaling that the whole Arena was about to be transported to Silent Hill

[Droford]

Dean is the new eras repo man

[Dark One]

Based on last night, this BLOODFEUD is going to culminate in a classy three round, five minute fencing match.

[Lock Jaw]

Gotta admit that I like Dean's coat.....

[Savio]

The IC title is the best looking current title.

[rez]

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/batman/images/f/f0/Bane_TDKR3.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120511112335Gotta admit that I like Dean's coat.....

[Sepholio]

Tyler Breeze is about to win the IC title lolol

[rez]

Miss the fashion files :(

[Droford]

Wait...

[KIRA]

Ladies and gentlemen we are entering the second hour of the new era where we listen to the fans

[Dark One]

By god we may finally have some NEW MONDAY NIGHT RAW.

RIP to Breezy's Grizzled Young Vet beard though.

[slik]

I'm losing patience and it's been an hour

[Lock Jaw]

Randomly coming back from commercial.....

[Lock Jaw]

I'm losing patience and it's been an hour

You just made me realize that it has only been an hour so far....... bleak......

Now I remember why I haven't watched RAW live in months....

[KIRA]

By god we may finally have some NEW MONDAY NIGHT RAW.

RIP to Breezy's Grizzled Young Vet beard though.

It was underappreciated and beautiful

[Savio]

Raw's a lot easier to watch when you have it on mute and are watching youtube videos instead... occasionally glancing up at the TV.

[Droford]

The picture from the hard camera looks weird color wise

[Dark One]

The picture from the hard camera looks weird color wise

THE NEW MONDAY NIGHT RAW, now with slightly warmer colors!

[KIRA]

Well with Tyler Breeze coming out they fulfill their Fresh Faces promise

[Dark One]

THEW NEW MONDAY NIGHT RAW

[RP]

This all seems very same era

[KIRA]

Also the particular color that Breeze chose for this match the furry part it looks filthy

[Droford]

I bet Seth is in a gas mask

Here's a cookie

[Savio]

The "New era" of raw would be a lot better if it was only 2 hours...... make the last hour a "Raw Rewind" of the attitude era.

[Dark One]

"What exactly does that mean?"

"Stuff and things."

[Sepholio]

LOLOL WHO IS YOU TO TELL.....wait

[Droford]

Ending the rematch clause?

[Dark One]

THIS ISN'T EVEN YOUR SHOW SHANE

[Sepholio]

So....are they hinting that the mandatory rematch clause may be going away? I can dig that.

[Droford]

Fatal 4 way match ..

Under lucha house party rules

[KIRA]

Does this mean I get to see more Nakamura because I'm all for that also are the good Brothers finally going to win the belts again

[Lock Jaw]

HEAVY MACHINERY IS COMING!!

NEW BOOM PERIOD CONFIRMED!!!!

[Dark One]

RIP Heavy Machinery.

They're going to get one match on Raw and then Superstars forever.

[slik]

AOP vs B Team vs Lucha House Party vs Revival

YAWN

[Jordan]

Bunch of call ups!

[Dark One]

Although hopefully we'll get one dope STEAKS AND WEIGHTS shirt before then.

[Droford]

So....are they hinting that the mandatory rematch clause may be going away? I can dig that.

That'd actually be a huge change but it's fix lazy booking

[KIRA]

It looks like both Brands will be getting a Charlotte Flair unless they put them on the same show

[Droford]

RIP Heavy Machinery.

They're going to get one match on Raw and then Superstars forever.

SD could use a tag team

[KIRA]

EC3.. . Future IC champ and that's probably it really

[RP]

Who's dis hoe?

[Dark One]

Can't wait for the angle in six months where we find out that Lars is Gene Snitsky's son.

[KIRA]

We're not going overseas for Tribute to the Troops this year let's be honest America hasn't exactly been making friends lately

[Dark One]

GIVE OTIS A GODDAMN MIC

[KIRA]

Lacey Evans destined to be the other Charlotte Flair just you watch

[RP]

I thought EC3 was about to be in a TUSHY video

[rez]

oh gg. LASHley time..

[Dark One]

That EC3 vignette was designed solely for Vince.

[Savio]

Can't wait for these call ups to be ruined.

[KIRA]

Heavy machinery They're not even on the show yet and they've already been categorized as they love to have fun

[Dark One]

EC3 and Lashley are 100% having a GLUTE OFF in a month's time.

[KIRA]

Lol who is this EC3 promo for

[slik]

EC3, Heavy Machinery, Lacey Evans, Lars Sullivan, Nikki Cross getting called up from NXT to be poorly booked soon.

[Dark One]

Lol who is this EC3 promo for

GODDAMN PAL. GET ME THAT E=MC SQUARED KID UP HERE RIGHT NOW

[xrodmuc316]

Nothing says "Major Superstar" like making your debut in bulk with a bunch of other jobbers!

[Dark One]

Corey with a subtle A+ WBF reference.

LOOK AT THOSE STRIATIONS

[Droford]

Lol

[KIRA]

The new era where were still going to bore you with stupid vignettes

[Dark One]

THE NEW MONDAY NIGHT RAW

[Jordan]

LOL this Lashley pose shit is so dumb.

[slik]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">It’s a big mistake to call up that many new Superstars from <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/NXT?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#NXT</a> all at once. Some of them are guaranteed to get lost in the shuffle, just as we’ve seen historically. Besides, throwing a bunch of new Superstars on these shows doesn’t fix them. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/WWE?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#WWE</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RAW?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RAW</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/SDLive?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#SDLive</a></p>&mdash; Brad Shepard (@TheBradShepard) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheBradShepard/status/1074852638909480961?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 18, 2018</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[KIRA]

New Era where Bobby Lashley will essentially bend over and show you his ass

[RP]

If The Man dont come out and kick Ronnie's ass, i'm gonna be pissed.

[Droford]

Is LHP supposed to be El nuevo dia mexicano

[KIRA]

GODDAMN PAL. GET ME THAT E=MC SQUARED KID UP HERE RIGHT NOW

I can hear Vince was saying that in his fake announcer / Carnival Barker voice

[Dark One]

Just to further traumatize all of you:

<blockquote class="imgur-embed-pub" lang="en" data-id="R74ny2e"><a href="//imgur.com/R74ny2e"></a></blockquote><script async src="//s.imgur.com/min/embed.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[RP]

I'm hard

[Lock Jaw]

Sami Zayn coming back! Sweet!

[Droford]

Sami Zayn wooo....ugh

[Sepholio]

SAMI~~~~

[xrodmuc316]

I love the new era!! Everything is exactly the same except all the McMahons are babyfaces and Corbin is a jobber.

Although if Sami is coming back, that is something I will happily watch!

[Sepholio]

I am SOOOOO hyped for Sami vs KO when they are both back!

[Lock Jaw]

EC3's theme song and character is so weird for a face to have......

[Dark One]

I legit forgot about Sami Zayn.

[KIRA]

Just to further traumatize all of you:

<blockquote class="imgur-embed-pub" lang="en" data-id="R74ny2e"><a href="//imgur.com/R74ny2e"></a></blockquote><script async src="//s.imgur.com/min/embed.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

Wow Vince the evidence is piling up Suddenly so many things makes so much sense.