RAW is in Chicago - 3.18.19

[slik]

Dana Brooke + Kurt Angle and more!

[Dark One]

Alternate title:

"Dark One could be playing The Division 2 but is here anyway"

How long before I regret this choice

[Emperor Smeat]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">We're excited to be in Chicago, a respectful city that won't start any disruptive chants... <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RAWTonight?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RAWTonight</a></p>&mdash; WWE Creative Humor (@WWECreative_ish) <a href="https://twitter.com/WWECreative_ish/status/1107733954478641157?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 18, 2019</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[Emperor Smeat]

Alternate title:

"Dark One could be playing The Division 2 but is here anyway"

How long before I regret this choice

I'll place a bet on by the end of the first match.

[Droford]

lol someone is celebrating their 70th birthday

[ClockShot]

Floor stage tonight.

[slik]

Brock is kicking off the show

[Black Widow]

This crowd will show themselves as complete Nerds and like a desperate ex that can't let go chanting for CM Punk.

[ClockShot]

It sounds like the production truck is piping in the boos.

It's tricky with a crowd like Chicago.

[GD]

Lesnar lookin real good.

[Droford]

I almost wouldnt mind Lesnar vs Mcintyre

[Droford]

1 more time = 13 times apparently

[GD]

I almost wouldnt mind Lesnar vs Mcintyre

Thankx 4 yr take

[ClockShot]

C'mon. Dana Brooke doesn't need the shit kicked out of her again.

[Dark One]

Nice hot start, and a nice touch having Brock look equal parts unnerved and impressed.

[Droford]

way to give away the surprise cole

[A.J.K]

Needs more Johnny Wrestling.

[Emperor Smeat]

Nice of Cole to spoil who is Balor's mystery tag partner for the commercial break.

[GD]

Nice manicure, Finn.

[Droford]

will anyone care about Braun vs Bobby at wm?

[ClockShot]

Oh my god Lio Rush has a mic.

[slik]

WRAP

IT

UP

[Droford]

long long time 2years

[ClockShot]

BRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!

[GD]

Is that racist?

[Dark One]

Knowing WWE....

There's at least a 15% chance that Braun's going to bolt for the back in the middle of this match and it's going to be revealed that Colin Jost sent him apology chocolates which were actually laxatives.

I apologize for the spoilers.

[Droford]

this match featuring a bald guy brought to you by shampoo

[Droford]

since when did raw do side by side ads

[ClockShot]

That Becky Lynch Head & Shoulders commercial was...…………….corny.

[Droford]

this match is <strike>presented</strike>preempted by head and shoulders

[Dark One]

since when did raw do side by side ads

When they realized they could add more commercials by having people sponsor a match and have 90% of the match take place in a tiny box during the sponsor's commercials.

[Droford]

Charlotte needs to get jealous of beckys shampoo commercial

[Droford]

Wonder if there will be "The Man has Dandruff" signs

[slik]

Dandruff

[Emperor Smeat]

Still can't believe that after years and years of forced pushes and failed attempts, Vince finally gets a big man over organically with crowds and decided to reward this by not striking while the iron was hot for Braun.

[ClockShot]

Is Rush dead?

A few refs just hit the ring.

[ClockShot]

The Kurt Warner look-alike ref speaks.

[erickman]

rush getting thrown around was entertaining he is a good heel maneger

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol: at the ref having security both for his own well-being and to make sure Ronda didn't do anything crazy at the show.

[slik]

Missing Link

[slik]

Was that it for Alexa??

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol:

[GD]

The what chants

[Emperor Smeat]

Did Otis just steal No Way Jose's gimmick?

Nevermind, it was just part of the ploy by a burger disguised No Way.

[ClockShot]

Go away Jose.

[GD]

This is adorable :lol:

[Dark One]

No Way Jose getting an angle and match on Raw?

What universe did I fall into

[slik]

This show is boring so far

[KIRA]

This show is boring so far

Thanks for the rundown

[Evil Vito]

Jose was wearing jeans before the break and now he’s wearing green pants. Odd.

[KIRA]

I have a Jusse Smollett and R.Kelly joke to make but I'm just too bored

[Triple A]

Watching Raw... 3 weeks before WrestleMania... Stuff should probably happen, U would think...

[Dark One]

This was the point I began to regret not picking The Division 2.

[GD]

https://i.imgflip.com/2wdd9r.jpg

[Emperor Smeat]

Jose vs Elias was pretty boring overall.

[Triple A]

Elias is a great character but truly feel like I have never seen a non-shitty/non-boring Elias match

[Emperor Smeat]

What a terrible pick for Angle's final match

[Dark One]

Oh jesus christ.

Of all of the options... Baron Corbin?

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkk thhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

[A.J.K]

Gable vs Angle!!!!!!

[Dark One]

Although, I guess there's at least a good chance Kurt will win his last match if it's Baron Corbin but fuck

[xrodmuc316]

LOL WTF, is Glorious Gable gone?

[Evil Vito]

LOL Angle/Corbin. Fuck that shit

[KIRA]

I mean you will have ended your career but you will have ended your career against Baron Corbin that's not really a high note no matter what you do

[slik]

LOL I called it

Corbin vs Angle

[GD]

Baron Corbin :nono:

[Ruien]

What a terrible pick for Angle's final match

This. How the fuxk do you pick the ONE wrestler I despise so much I actually turn the station. At least Angle should go out on a win.......

[KIRA]

Okay this is kind of a dream come true but what I wouldn't give for us to be able to go back in time and get 1999 Kurt Angle the face Gable

[GD]

LOL WTF, is Glorious Gable gone?

I hope so. I really disliked their entrance scheme and felt like the tag team held both men back.

[Ruien]

Maybe next week Cena will come out and challenge Angle.......

[Emperor Smeat]

Not sure what's worse, Angle claiming it was his choice to pick Corbin or WWE trolling the crowd by having Gable come out right afterwards.

Crowd struggling to be interested in this match after that dud of an announcement.

[KIRA]

Okay who are they chanting USA at

[A.J.K]

Serious Technical Wrestling right here

[slik]

I bet Corbin pins Angle in 3 minutes so he gets 'heel heat' and then can go feud with Seth Rollins after WM for like 3 months or whatever

[KIRA]

Oh my God it's actual wrestling I don't know how to process this

[Black Widow]

Angle would choose to bang Luna over Alexa.

[GD]

If they intended to do "Angle vs Corbin" at Mania, why would they book them in a squash match on RAW?

[A.J.K]

Actual Wrestling. Loving this.

[GD]

Don't

WRAP

IT

UP

[slik]

Baron Corbin currently the #1 trend worldwide on Twitter

[GD]

Crowd solidly behind Kurt. I appreciate that Gable is getting a competitive match.

[Triple A]

Feel like they should turn Baron Corbin into a cartoonishly evil heel like Big Boss Man and have him like kidnap Kurt Angle's family or make him unknowingly eat his pet dog or w/e

[Droford]

We want Cena chant in chicago

hell froze over

[GD]

Watching Wrestlemania is going to be a chore this year. Dear Lord, I am already dreading the runtime.

[Droford]

I bet Corbin pins Angle in 3 minutes so he gets 'heel heat' and then can go feud with Seth Rollins after WM for like 3 months or whatever

angle pins corbin superfast to allow cena to come out and be all "come on man, you dont want that to be your last match"

[Droford]

Watching Wrestlemania is going to be a chore this year. Dear Lord, I am already dreading the runtime.

its only 7 hours

[GD]

I can't wait for Corey to remind us how Sasha is a leech and is eventually going to stab Bayley

[RP]

My dream porn shoot would be Me, Alexa Bliss, Mandy Rose and Sasha Banks. It would start with them eating each others holes while I'm in the bathroom sifting through there bathroom trash.

[Black Widow]

Watching Wrestlemania is going to be a chore this year. Dear Lord, I am already dreading the runtime.Or you could just not watch the matches you don't care about.

[Emperor Smeat]

Watching Wrestlemania is going to be a chore this year. Dear Lord, I am already dreading the runtime.

RAW's side of the card looks really terrible.

The most interesting match for RAW is the RAW Women's match but only because of Smackdown's Becky and Charlotte are involved in it.

[Triple A]

Would be interesting if bald guys didn't shave their heads and every bald guy in WWE just had a George Costanza hair cut... idk...

[Evil Vito]

Trish and Lita definitely facing Sasha and Bayley at WM

[Evil Vito]

Wait, Beth? Whoa!

[Triple A]

Wish Big Boss Man would come out and "clear the ring"

[Droford]

Ricci the Dragon Phoenix

[Emperor Smeat]

Awoke the dragon?

Shouldn't that be a phoenix considering Beth's name.

[Droford]

#givecurrentdivasachance

[Dark One]

Wish Big Boss Man would come out and "clear the ring"

I mean, a ghost appearing on national television would probably make people run the fuck away, yes.

[RP]

Alexa Bliss has woken my dragon

[Dark One]

SHOOTAMANIA RUNNIN' WILD

[Droford]

This has to get extended to a 4 way tag unless Nattie pulls a Braun on raw after mania should they win

[Emperor Smeat]

So either the women's tag is going to be a multi-team one or WWE legit just gave away that Bayley and Sasha's tag match tomorrow against the IIconics is meaningless.

[Black Widow]

#givecurrentdivasachance
Everyone's favorite slant eyes is SD women's champ and Becky/Charlotte will be in the ME stop whining.

[Supreme Olajuwon]

Why does everyone on Raw sound like they’re performing a skit

[GD]

Everyone's favorite slant eyes is SD women's champ and Becky/Charlotte will be in the ME stop whining.

Terrible.

[slik]

Wish Khali would come out and brainchop everyone on RAW

[Black Widow]

Terrible.Agree.

I wouldn't have made her champ either.

[Supreme Olajuwon]

Everybody except Paul Heyman sounds like they were given their lines 5 minutes before they go on camera.

[RP]

THEY'RE HAVING A MATCH YOUR FAT FUCKING SKANK!

[Droford]

more like fatazon

[Droford]

Tamina has a..hoodie

[RP]

Are we really still doing this with Mojo? Lol

[Evil Vito]

Of corse that fat cunt and that barely mobile cunt have to be in the match. Otherwise it might’ve been enjoyable

[xrodmuc316]

Lol are they back to these Mojo promos? I thought they forgot about him

[Dark One]

Mojo Rawley was gone for that many fucking weeks and he couldn't go find a better vintage mirror?

[Evil Vito]

“What good is potential if you can’t do anything with it?”

You tell me, Mojo...you’ve been doing these mirror promos for months.

[Dark One]

Mojo should go with the Batista strategy:

GIVE ME WHAT I WANT

GIVE ME WHAT I WANT

GIVE ME WHAT I WANT

[slik]

Mojo Rawley promo backstage...sigh

[GD]

I am done with all the self congratulations and how historic and important these titles are for the women's division. I get it. Can we have normal feuds without the curtain calls and how brave the women are.

[Droford]

MOJO gonna be first ever 2 TIME ATGMBR winner

or not

[GD]

Agree.

I wouldn't have made her champ either.

Fuck off! You're not witty or entertaining with your godawful racial remarks. Don't care if you're real or a sock. You're absolutely terrible.

[Dark One]

I am done with all the self congratulations and how historic and important these titles are for the women's division. I get it. Can we have normal feuds without the curtain calls and how brave the women are.

"The next match will be the first title defense where we don't mention how historic this title defense is during the match!"

[Droford]

Jinder Mahal, Mojo, No Way Jose and Chad Gable on RAW..

and its..3 weeks to WM?

[Triple A]

Glad that Ricochet is doing normal WWE matches now like every single other wrestler... I like when he does that one flip taunt thing in the ring in each match but that's enough action 4 me so this is perfect...

[slik]

WWE promoting Head & Shoulders while bald Ricochet is in the ring

[slik]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Underwhelming. <a href="https://t.co/BzUZL4Ip1A">https://t.co/BzUZL4Ip1A</a></p>&mdash; Jim Ross (@JRsBBQ) <a href="https://twitter.com/JRsBBQ/status/1107819147868758016?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 19, 2019</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[GD]

I don't like that they're overtly humanizing Aleister Black on the main roster. Let there be some "enigma" associated with the act. Fucking moody 9 to 5 bullshit.

[Droford]

not ROMAN REIGNS?

[xrodmuc316]

Ricochet seems like he is the early favorite to be the top of this call up group.

[Droford]

Becky should call Charlotte Charlie

[Dark One]

"That is is Ronda Rousey can avoid the upset against Dana Brooke tonight."

You know, I feel like that's not anything we really need to be worried about.

[GD]

Becky should call Charlotte Charlie

Charles

[Emperor Smeat]

Good on WWE for actually picking someone Warrior wanted his award to be about this whole time.

Wonder if its because WWE is rumored to be treating this year as just a throw-away class and didn't bother to put any real effort to find someone outside for PR fluff reasons.

[GD]

<iframe width="590" height="443" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RHTL4vTg2O0" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Droford]

I find it odd that Kids find Adam Sandler funny in 2019

[Droford]

Come on Dana, dont fuck up WM

[xrodmuc316]

I find it odd that Kids find Adam Sandler funny in 2019

It's likely cause of the Hotel Transylvania movies.

[Droford]

I wanted a Scott Steinerish math promo from Dana

[Dark One]

"Can Dana Brooke change the course of history?"

https://media1.tenor.com/images/fcbc1f65f991815129a0052774a308da/tenor.gif?itemid=11681636

[RP]

Dana looks like her lips stay wrapped around a big black cock when she's not wrestling.

[xrodmuc316]

What the hell is going on with Dana Brooke? It looks like she got lippo on her cheeks and put it in her lips.

[Savio]

Dana stuck her lips in a vacuum cleaner

[GD]

Yeah! Something is off.

[Dark One]

https://media.tenor.co/images/3aaeb97bfd057f74da36665ea11d6130/raw

[Dark One]

What the hell is going on with Dana Brooke? It looks like she got lippo on her cheeks and put it in her lips.

She's also slimmed down a ton.

[Droford]

"Can Dana Brooke change the course of history?"

https://media1.tenor.com/images/fcbc1f65f991815129a0052774a308da/tenor.gif?itemid=11681636

she may never wrestle again after that

[Dark One]

Ronda with the for real armbar for once. Damn.

[Emperor Smeat]

:lol: at Ronda and her husband beating up security.

[Droford]

we clearly need to get to her husband vs Braun

[KIRA]

Dare we hope for a switchblade Brook and she just comes in to destroy Ronda......nope

[Dark One]

"That was awful to watch..."

IMMEDIATE replay

[GD]

That looked very brutal.

[Emperor Smeat]

Guess WWE medical doesn't care about Dana's well-being.

[Dark One]

Why they gotta be showing me a Division 2 commercial when I'm watching this instead.

That is some bullshit.

[KIRA]

Ronda with the for real armbar for once. Damn.

Again between that and Rhonda straight up calling Becky out on the fact that her arm bar doesn't hurt how do we expect Becky to get over maybe she needs to switch to an armbar like the one tommaso ciampa used to use

[GD]

Again between that and Rhonda straight up calling Becky out on the fact that her arm bar doesn't hurt how do we expect Becky to get over maybe she needs to switch to an armbar like the one tommaso ciampa used to use

Schoolgirl that b-word!

[slik]

Making Ronda look like a huge badass more than most of the roster

[Dark One]

"Baron Corbin takes great pleasure in disappointing the WWE universe"

Well, in that case...

[GD]

Baron Corbin's three moves of doom and rest holds.

[KIRA]

Just let this sink in Baron Corbin is going to WrestleMania and Asuka doesn't have a match

[Dark One]

Oh man... Are we getting worked with the Corbin/Angle mania match?

[GD]

Baron Corbin has X-Pac heat.

[KIRA]

So now we get Batista dressed in a proper...... pinstripe outfit

I miss making fun of skinny jeans Bautista

[Droford]

lol vince said "youre going to WM"

fuly expect kofi to win and get a preshow match

[Dark One]

Corbin being Angle's retirement match would be like Ric Flair's Mania retirement match being against Vladmiz Kozlov.

[GD]

<div style="width: 100%; height: 0px; ██████████ relative; padding-bottom: 56.250%;"><iframe src="https://streamable.com/s/srb0j/bqfmty" frameborder="0" width="100%" height="100%" allowfullscreen style="width: 100%; height: 100%; ██████████ absolute;"></iframe></div>

[slik]

I think it's Corbin

[Dark One]

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/C4A6yg7MoJg" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Dark One]

I love No Fucks Given Dave Batista.

[Jordan]

RP when he meets Alexa Bliss at Axcess ... "GIVE IT TO ME GIVE IT TO ME GIVE ME WHAT I WANT"

[Dark One]

Is the camera going to pull back to reveal a GIANT MOUNTAIN OF COCAINE on Dave's desk?

[GD]

How big is Dave?

[Dark One]

I cannot believe that BIG DAVE BATISTA's acting chops are showing up the rest of the roster. 2019 is wild.

[Dark One]

"Let's ask Booker T about how fair Triple H is"

[Emperor Smeat]

Wait, are they retconing Batista's last time in the company? Sure it involved Bluetista but don't remember him leaving because of Triple H.

[Dark One]

SHOOTAMANIA RUNNIN' WILD

[GD]

CM Punk chants?

[xrodmuc316]

If they book HHH to go over in this match, it will be even worse than him over Sting at Mania 32 or him over Booker T at Mania 19.

[Dark One]

CM Punk chants?

Having a long "Via Satellite" promo after a trillion backstage/talky bits was probably not a good choice for a rabid crowd.

That said, wrestling fans do not deserve BIG DAVE BATISTA

[GD]

Having a long "Via Satellite" promo after a trillion backstage/talky bits was probably not a good choice for a rabid crowd.

That said, wrestling fans do not deserve BIG DAVE BATISTA

They don't know how big he is.

[Dark One]

Oh man, I hope this means were going to get a 20-25 minute banger of a match for Drew/Seth

[GD]

"Andre the Giant" Battle Royal :nono:

[Dark One]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/iDL0gYp7iX">pic.twitter.com/iDL0gYp7iX</a></p>&mdash; The Man (@BeckyLynchWWE) <a href="https://twitter.com/BeckyLynchWWE/status/1107797022692855808?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 19, 2019</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

[GD]

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="und" dir="ltr"><a href="https://t.co/iDL0gYp7iX">pic.twitter.com/iDL0gYp7iX</a></p>&mdash; The Man (@BeckyLynchWWE) <a href="https://twitter.com/BeckyLynchWWE/status/1107797022692855808?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 19, 2019</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

Can't wait for Becky Lynch to make Big Show tap out in seconds inside the Elimination Chamber.

[xrodmuc316]

Wait, are they retconing Batista's last time in the company? Sure it involved Bluetista but don't remember him leaving because of Triple H.

Yep, storyline line he quit because he didn't want to help H fight the Shield anymore, and wanted his 1 on 1 title match he earned by winning the Rumble. H said no he could have the title match only after they got rid of the Shield, so Batista said "fine, and I quit"

[xrodmuc316]

Having a long "Via Satellite" promo after a trillion backstage/talky bits was probably not a good choice for a rabid crowd.

That said, wrestling fans do not deserve BIG DAVE BATISTA

It's also because they are in Chicago. Only place that still chants for that idiot Phil.

[Dark One]

Fuck off. We've already seen this like four times tonight. Give me the 20-25 minute banger of a match.

[Dark One]

SHOOTAMANIA RUNNIN' WILD YET AGAIN TONIGHT

[slik]

WRAP

IT

UP

[GD]

https://www.rocklin.ca.us/sites/main/files/imagecache/medium/main-images/yard-sale.jpg

[GD]

So it's still a fight

[slik]

crowd sounds dead

[Jordan]

OMG LOL That was bad Drew.

[Dark One]

Why are they having Rollins cut a promo from five feet behind the curtain instead of interrupting and cutting one from the stage?

[xrodmuc316]

Drew can cut a damn good promo, wish they gave him something real to say

[slik]

"You may have beaten Leukemia, but on the grandest stage of them all you will never beat me".

Jesus.

[Jordan]

I hate these "chaotic brawl" punches.

[GD]

zoom in zoom out

[GD]

https://i.redd.it/8f4eytysxzzz.gif

[RP]

RP when he meets Alexa Bliss at Axcess ... "GIVE IT TO ME GIVE IT TO ME GIVE ME WHAT I WANT"

I'd ask her for some of her panties.

[slik]

Overall this hasn't been a very good RAW...

2 more RAWs to WM, time to 'step up'

[KIRA]

Becky Charlotte and Ronda have to go on last Brock versus Seth doesn't have nearly the momentum or interest

[Emperor Smeat]

Overall this hasn't been a very good RAW...

2 more RAWs to WM, time to 'step up'

Outside of maybe 2-3 weeks, RAW's been mostly bad or boring for this year's Road to Mania. Maybe even the worst one in recent years considering how lazy WWE has been building up things.

[slik]

Last year the road to WM was 'really hot' too, smh

[Droford]

alabama slam from the scottish psychopath

[Dark One]

Hahahaha, having the Mania challenge lose a fucking match on Raw due to a distraction three weeks before Mania is the most WWE thing in history

[Dark One]

Also lol at a bunch of people leaving in the background

[Triple A]

Damn @ nothing really happening

[Emperor Smeat]

Hahahaha, having the Mania challenge lose a fucking match on Raw due to a distraction three weeks before Mania is the most WWE thing in history
Yeah.

Probably doesn't help that Reigns being back this quickly means WWE doesn't have to give Rollins the rocket strap mega push anymore and is giving some of it away to both both McIntyre and McIntyre-Reigns Mania build.

[poopfromweiner dude]

missed raw how was it?

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

It was quick on my dvr.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

No Becky. Minimal Revival. Travis Browne the wife beater on TV.

[Fignuts]

Hahahaha, having the Mania challenge lose a fucking match on Raw due to a distraction three weeks before Mania is the most WWE thing in history

Fucking Corbin and Rollins both, no less.

[Black Widow]

Fuck off! You're not witty or entertaining with your godawful racial remarks. Don't care if you're real or a sock. You're absolutely terrible.SNOWFLAKE! SNOWFLAKE!

[Mr. Nerfect]

Fuck. This. Company.

[Mr. Nerfect]

I’m half-expecting Kofi to lose the gauntlet this week and Vince to just put someone else in the title match.

[SlickyTrickyDamon]

Big E?

[Rammsteinmad]

Incredibly underwhelming Wrestlemania card and build this year so far.

[GD]

SNOWFLAKE! SNOWFLAKE!

:nono:

[Black Widow]

:nono::yes:

[Vastardikai]

Big E?

Roman Reigns.

They move Drew to the Andre Battle Royal.