WWE RAW Captions (7/19) [Archive]

Corkscrewed

07-20-2004, 05:01 PM

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Bischoff: "So then I tell him, 'Chris, OF COURSE you're going to keep the title through next Wrestlemania and appear credible and important during your run!!!'"
Triple H: :rofl:

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"Alright, Sunshine! Apologize for abusing Eugene or I'll treat you the way Stone Cold treats his women!"

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There was hell to pay when Regal found out it was Triple H who had given him those parasites in India.

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"Rou're a rhomo!"

OR

Alex Trebeck: "This wrestler is known for his "gravitational" powers and frequent obsessed over golden beltware."
Tajiri: "What is Triple H?"
Alex Trebeck: "Correct! Congratulations, you've beaten Ken Jennings! We had to make every topic wrestling-related, but we've finally got a new champion!!!"

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Judging from Coach last week and now this, I guess it's become to fad to get Tajiri-shaped penises.

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Test (at home): "Sonofabitch!"

OR

The audience was VERY high on Molly Holly's new makeover.

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It was bad enough that Tomko was getting away with fingering Stacy live on TV, but did Trish really have to taunt and point it out for everyone?

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Hurricane was beyond grateful when RC Cola Man came to his rescue.

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Dave: "Whooooooooo!!! Yeah!!! Oh yeah! Ride me! Ride me Randy boy!!!"
Chris: "Um... I'm Chris, not Randy. And we're in the middle of the ring, not backstage."
Dave: "...awkward."

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Chris came this close to winning the hurdles in Olympic qualifying, but he just missed the Batista one.

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Fans were shocked and appalled when Dave suddenly decided to go Goldberg on another Canadian.

OR

Skydiving was fun, but Benoit still needed to work on his landing skills.

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It was pretty hard to drive the Batistamobile around, but if anyone could do it , it was Benoit.

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Dave: "What the?! Why the heck do you let Rhyno rub your chest for good luck anyway???"

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Dave: "YEAH!!! I DESTROYED BEN--OW! My ass!!!"
Steven Richards: "Heh heh heh..."

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Matt: "Look, I don't know how to tell you this, so I'll put it in words you can understand: "You votch eberything. At's innoying."

Innovator

07-20-2004, 05:09 PM

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In times of peril...Regal can only do one thing

Regal: You can dance, you can dance, everybody look at your hands

Mayo

07-20-2004, 05:17 PM

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HHH: I don't take orders from someone that ran WCW, what a joke!
Eric: You always take orders from Steph.
HHH: :|

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Regal: Now listen here sunshine, for the last time, I don't know what Willis was talkin' bout.

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Regal: This teabagging is courtesy of all the boys in the back, you bloody wanker!

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Tajiri: Horree shit! Is that Gorzirra?

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Hurricane introduced his newest partner TWAT (The Whore After Training) much to the delight of the fans.

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Tomko is the first lucky one to get ahold of TWAT.

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Vince brought back the Repo Man to be The Hurricane's nemesis.

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Batista: What the hell? His throat isn't coming out. Hunter's gonna be pissed!
Hebner: It was a figure of speech, you fuckwad!

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Benoit gained the upper hand when Batista was distracted by a fan's new Kappa pants.

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Worst. Leapfrog. Ever.

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Bobby Heenan: That's right! You have absolutely no talent, so now I'm stuck with you! Kick him you idiot, everyone's waiting for you to do something!

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Batista's Stone Cold beer swilling impression wasn't as good without the beer.

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Lita: Oh Matt, just take me! TAKE ME NOW!
Matt: *whispers* Lita, we're still live!
Lita: Um... yeah, take me to the doctor please, I need a checkup for the baby.
Matt: :nono:

Rock Bottom

07-20-2004, 05:20 PM

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"Oh Number One, that plan is most... E-vill. Hu hahahahahahah! Huhahahahahahah! Huhahahahahaah!

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"I... Did not, have, sexual relations, with that woman."

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"Bloody hell Triple Haitch, take my shoft out of your nose at once!"

or

Apparently this is what happens when someone tells Triple H there is cocaine in their penis.

or

"Hey Regal, I have a shortage of snot in my nostrils. Think you can help me out?"

or

Regal showed us all how far a simple Vince McMahon mask could get you.

More to cum later, I'm sure.

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"Pearl Hah bah! Pearl Hah b- Errr, U S A! U S A!"

or

(8) TERR ME HORRRRRRRRR AM I SURPOSED TO RIVE RIFOUT ROUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (8)

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Tajiri had to be restrained after getting a little too patriotic in his World War flashback with a T-shirt gun.

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Helms was proud to introduce his new sidekick, the Whorricane!

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Here we see the hard-working staff of the WWE's Diva factory.

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The Hambgurglar was stunned when his good friend Grimmace had turned him in to go to McJail.

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Benoit showed Batista the real meaning of "The Impaler."

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Benoit's fellow midget didn't believe Benoit had the pull to butt rape any hoss he wanted, so he had to see for himself.

or

Benoit: (Humping) DO IT! DO IT!
Batista: Ugh... KOO-KOO! KOO-KOO!

or

Benoit shows us exactly why he can tap anyone out.

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Batista: Damnit Benoit! Stop humping my belly button, it's a tattoo not a butt hole!

or

Ref: Is that Sean O'... No, couldn't be... Hey, there's a penny up there.

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When Triple H told Batista to make sure Benoit was in no condition to win their match next week, Batista did the smartest thing possible... He tied Earl Hebner to the Canadian champ.

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Batista: Tropical Punch Kool-Aid, a YJ Stinger, some protein shakes and a glass of milk!
Benoit: Ok, this is alot less sick the other way around.

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Batista shows us all exactly why he was called "Leviathan" in OVW.

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Lita knew she found her true love when Matt Hardy botched fondling her tits.

FourFifty

07-20-2004, 05:38 PM

Yay! Caption Time!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/15.jpg>
Lita: zzzzzzzzzzzz….no one betta than you……
Matt: Lita?
Lita: …..zzzzz.zzzz.zzzz.zzzzz… ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmygod………
Lita: ………zzzzzzzzz……. Oh Kanyon……
Matt: WHAT!?!?!?
Lita: Huh, bu’h, wha? Oh, I’m sorry, I botched staying awake.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/01.jpg>
HHH: And that’s when I said I wouldn’t destroy his credibility!
Eric: Ha ha ha! Oh those gullible Canadians!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/02.jpg>
“So quiet, another wasted night, the television steals our conversation! Exhale, another wasted breath, again it goes unnoticed! Please tell me you’re just felling tired!”
rep for the reference

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/03.jpg>
After years Hunter claming he was the best at everything, Regal finally had to step up to him… No one does the Bushwhacker Stomp better than Regal!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/04.jpg>
“There’s the cream filling!”

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/05.jpg>
Rhyno just had to look away when Tajiri told him that Lita taught him how to do a frankenstiner.

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Evil beware, for now they have the team of The Hurricane and the pink power ranger to deal with!

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Stacy knew she had to call the Hurricane for help, but with one was the real Hurricane?

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Rosey: I’m no longer a super hero in training, which means we’re now credible enough to win the SmackDown tag team titles!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/09.jpg>
Sometimes Benoit needs a hug, and sometimes he needs a HUG.

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Michael Cole: Modified headlock takedown.

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With help from Batista, Chris was now tall enough to ride Space Mountain according to the Earl “You Must Be This Tall To Ride” sign.

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Dave: Okay, okay, I’ll put up my Canadian, no reason for both of you to yell at me :(

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/13.jpg>
EXTREME EYEBROW WAXING!!!

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Batista cursed the name of his little brother, Tista, for being more over in Washington DC than him.

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Matt: Lita, I know you’re trying real hard not to screw up, but next time you sew a shirt for me, the WWE logo goes on the tag, not on the sleeve…

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/15.jpg>
Lita: Let’s face it, I’m a horrible wrestler, I can’t cut an interview, and there are a lot of other deserving wrestlers in the back that have earned more airtime than me. The only reason I’m here is I look cute, and I know one of Vince’s secret ticklish spots… Then again, I’m just telling you stuff you know.
Matt: :wtf:
Sean O’Haire: What the crap?

FourFifty

07-20-2004, 05:38 PM

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Jericho just had to run off and cry like a little girl after Kane told him that Dashboard Confessional is better than Fozzy.

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As Matt Hardy, Kanyon, Kane, Sean O’Haire, Max Mini, Shane O’Mac, Rico, and Ric Flair lined up against a wall, with a stumped writing staff, Eric takes control of the Lita pregnancy story line, and who the father is.
“Bubble gum, bubble gum, in a dish, how many pieces do you wish?”

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/18.jpg>
Sensing that Hunter was right behind him, Jericho just assumed the position to be screwed.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/19.jpg>
Jericho: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Batista: But I will be a great technical wrestler one day!
Jericho: Hey, Dave, Wristlock!
Batista: Sorry, I don’t wear my wristlock with my wrestling attire, even if it would help me keep time.
Jericho: Ha ha ha ha ha! Dude, I’m about to piss my pants, laughing!!!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/20.jpg>
Sha na na,
Sha na na,
Hey hey hey,
Good Bye!
(and thus, Raw’s credibility left)

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Edge’s new alcoholic gimmick started as he ordered a beer from Rhyno right before the match.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/22.jpg>
Moment earlier
Fan: Hey Edge, why is a nazi holding the SmackDown title?
Edge: *faints*

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/23.jpg>
Randy: Why, what big eyes you have!
Edge: The better to watch My Little Ponys with!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/24.jpg>
To solidify his heel status, Randy takes Edge and hits the ref with him.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/25.jpg>
Edge: And next time you’ll think twice before insulting Dexter’s Lab!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/26.jpg>
JR: BAH GAWD STUNNER!
King: :shifty:

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/27.jpg>
Wanna get Randy to knock out everyone in the ring?
Just scream: “CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN SUCKS!!!”

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/28.jpg>
Edge: Hey Randy, betcha can’t count to five!
Randy: You’re on! 1-2-3-*bell rings* 4…. No! Not fair! The bell distracted me!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/29.jpg>
“And after a match like that my hair is still touchably soft! Thanks Redken hair products!”

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/30.jpg>
After half a bag of oreo cookies, Randy realized that he didn’t have any milk.

Rock Bottom

07-20-2004, 05:38 PM

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Jericho and Kane gave a breathtaking performance in "Final Destination 3 - Killing Your Credibility."

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Bischoff: Hey! Stop, hold the phone. You think I'd let you get a cheesey win like that Jericho? After what you and those bimbos did to my office!? No way! I'm making this match falls count anywhere!..................Homo."

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Kane: What's your name boy!
Jericho: Chris.. Chris Jericho!
Kane: *WHIP!* I said what's your name boy!
Jericho: CHRIS! CHRIS JERICHO!
Kane: *CRACK* WHAT'S YOUR NAME BOYYYYYYY.
Jericho: Jobbbbbbbberrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! :(

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Double Dragon Jimmy Lee had suffered the wrath of Aboabo.

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USA retaliated against the Middle East by producing the first ever Weapons of Mass Erection.

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Ref: Look Randy, I'm going to explain this to you one more time. Sometimes worthless people who will never draw any money will get the title too. It's part of the business.
Randy: Wait, but how can a jobber like that go over ME!
Ref: *Sigh* Look Randy, I'm going to explain this to you one more time. Sometimes worthless people who will never draw any money will get the title too. It's part of the business.
Randy: Yeah, but how in the hell is Edge going to go over Randy Orton?
Ref: Look Randy... Hey, is that a My Little Pony?

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Authorities say that Loose Cannon was seen fleeing the scene with a tire-iron wrapped in barbed wire. More to come as this story develops.

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Orton: Hah! Further proof that you are a Final Fantasy 2 Character!
Edge: I am not a ninja...
Orton: Oh yeah? What about these beedy little eyes, huh!?

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After that devastating Missile Dropkick, LC knew he had no choice but to try the Butterfly Effect again.

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LC: Ugh! What have I done! No matter what happens, every time I use the effect someone gets killed! *Butterflies again*

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LC: Perfect! At the perfect moment to RKO him and change the past.

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LC: No! UGH! Now I've killed Edge AND the ref! This Butterfly thing is fucking dangerous.

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LC: Fine, if I can't do it without killing anyone, I GUESS Edge can keep the IC title until Summerslam.

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And even though the course of time wasn't changed, Edge still found himself with a terrible case of diarrhea.

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Orton: I'll get you my pretty! And your little title too!

Mayo

07-20-2004, 05:43 PM

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Eric: Look Jericho, its either you let Kane suck you off, or you become the father of Lita's baby.

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Y2J: I can't believe I'm actually considering it. Well at least its not Hunter, and at least Kane won't botch.

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Jericho was held down so badly that he was now forced to run one of those spinning old-fashioned power generators.

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Batista: That's a warning for anyone else that insults Ricky Martin.

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If you plan on sucking dick to win the contest, raise your hand.

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Ref: Randy, you're supposed to be a heel. Stop putting on entertaining matches and try to be more boring.
Randy: Isn't that Edge's job?

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Steph sure looked like a different person in the morning.

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Randy: Give the ring back, you horrific creature!
Gollum: Noooo, its miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!

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Randy put the regular airplane spin to shame when he spun Edge over his head.
Randy: Wow, this Evolution cool aid really works!

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Edge: Okay I get the fucking point, I'm trying my best not to be boring!

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Randy: Oh God, having someone's head up your ass isn't as good as Hunter described it!

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The Ref had to toss his cookies after Edge finally got his head out of Orton's ass.

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Edge: *showing off title*
I might be less talented than you, but looking like Hunter sure has its perks.

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Randy: *thinking* Be a hoss, be a hoss, be a hoss... Yes, great camera shot, I look like Brock! Title, here I come!!!

Londoner

07-20-2004, 05:53 PM

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Bischoff: What do you think about headlining Benoit on every Raw?

HHH: HAHAHHAHAHAAHHA! Good one Bischoff!

My Final Heaven

07-20-2004, 06:01 PM

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Double Dragon Jimmy Lee had suffered the wrath of Aboabo.

old school nes :rofl::rofl::rofl:

Corkscrewed

07-20-2004, 06:17 PM

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Jericho: "Ow, dammit, Steven, will you cut it out?"

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Bischoff: "Hey you! Yeah. Is your refridgerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you. Very homosexually."

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Jericho didn't take kindly to Eric's fridge insult.

OR

If Chris was going to get above the glass ceiling a crane was as good a way as any other.

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Dave: "And don't you EVER say Jigglypuff sucks again!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/20.jpg
RAW was nice enough to have the losers come out first before bringing out Carmella.

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Ref: "Okay, while my buddy LC in the stands has him distracted by the sign, you nail him with the belt while I look away. Got it?"
Edge: "What the heck does 'coy baby' mean anyway?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/22.jpg
Edge didn't appreciate getting stepped on in the business, especially when they put the steel stairs on top of him.

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Randy: "By gawd you're gonna smile for the camera and you're gonna LIKE IT!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/24.jpg
When Randy went on a whacking spree using his new Edgehammer, it was look out or knock out.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/25.jpg
Always the rebel, Edge goes against the fad and gets a ref-shaped penis instead.

OR

Edge: "OMG! Are you okay? DAMN THAT CHUCK PALUMBO!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/26.jpg
Orton's RKO from the rafters made the fans completely mark out and Loose Cannon completely explode.

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Edge could be rather unorthodox with his versions of proctology exams.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/28.jpg
Things went to hell when Edge tried a Lita Nelson.

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(bad Japanese dubbing voice) "Ha-HA! I have defeated the evil villain and retained my prized belt, and my hair is still silky and smooth!"

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"IT'S BANNING TIME!!!!"

Corkscrewed

07-20-2004, 06:25 PM

Wow, RB was on fire.

07-20-2004, 06:32 PM

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/02.jpg>
“So quiet, another wasted night, the television steals our conversation! Exhale, another wasted breath, again it goes unnoticed! Please tell me you’re just felling tired!”
rep for the reference

Dashboard Confessional - AGain i go unnoticed

parkmania

07-20-2004, 07:25 PM

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Bischoff: So then I told those diva wannabes, "Yeah, I got your immunity RIGHT HERE!"
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/02.jpg
Regal: "Dammit, it worked for that wanker Clark Kent!"
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/03.jpg
HHH: "Damn, Regal, I know you're a lefty, but you could still use some Right Guard!"
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/04.jpg
[overdubbed]: INDEED!!!
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/06.jpg
Stacy: "I thought you said I'd have a cape..."
Hurricane: "I thought you said you liked your men a little green..."
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/07.jpg
Trish had Tomko get rid of the Stacy doll so that she could do the YMCA all by herself.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/08.jpg
Hurricane: Rosey, have you been watching too much "Running Man"? That costume's HORRIBLE!
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/09.jpg
Batista: "Yeah Chris, McMahon made Palumbo change his hair color again so that folks wouldn't get the two of us confused in the blurry photos they put on WWE.com."
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/10.jpg
Batista: Aw come on, Chris. I wanna do my "Little Teapot" routine...
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/11.jpg
Benoit: "I've wrestled the Undertaker. You, sir, are no Undertaker."
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/12.jpg
Wow, that's a switch... Benoit botching a leapfrog...
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/13.jpg
Earl: "Look, Batista. If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times. Put your playthings back when you're done with them or no dessert for you."
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/14.jpg
Batista: "By the power of Greyskull!"
http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/15.jpg
Matt: "Look, Lita, I'm sorry, but after the last time you tried to get pregnant..."
Lita: "I know, Matt. This time I won't botch putting it in the right hole."

Loose Cannon

07-20-2004, 07:25 PM

ROFL at Rock Bottom.

"It's banning time" lol lol lol

PorkSoda

07-20-2004, 08:16 PM

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Randy auditions for the new 2004 Blair Witch Project, coming this October.

El Santo

07-20-2004, 10:30 PM

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In times of peril...Regal can only do one thing

Regal: You can dance, you can dance, everybody look at your hands

:rofl:

I'll have to do these captions later.

And hey! Rock Bottom's in the hizzouse!

FourFifty

07-20-2004, 10:37 PM

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RAW was nice enough to have the losers come out first before bringing out Carmella.

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Things went to hell when Edge tried a Lita Nelson.

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(bad Japanese dubbing voice) "Ha-HA! I have defeated the evil villain and retained my prized belt, and my hair is still silky and smooth!"

 :rofl: The first one is very true, while the other two are funny as helll!

El Santo

07-21-2004, 12:10 AM

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HHH: "And I'll get that World Championship back, because I am Evil Betty..."
*laughs*
HHH: "Oh my God, did I say Evil Betty? It's been a long day."

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Regal was starting to get annoyed. How was he supposed to do his promo when the cameraman kept poking his mouth with the microphone?

Welcome to WWE Dance Karaoke Night!

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Ninja, ninja ... RAP! Ninja, ninja ... RAP!
Go ninja go ninja GO! Go ninja go ninja GO!

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"You make me FEEL... YOU make me FEEL... YOU make me FEEL like a natural woman..."

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Here we see Rhyno --- mischievously running off --- as his two latest glue victims suffer in the ring.

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Wonder Twin powers... Activate!"

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I knew that women in the WWE were passed around like currency ... but this is ridiculous.

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Actors at the auditions for the Green Lantern movie stand dumbfounded when the producers, for some heinous, ungodly reason, decide to give the title role to Jack Black (http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=17971).

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Batista brought the house down with his spot on Bushwhacker Luke impression.

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Hebner was a bit disappointed that nobody complimented his nice new elephant trunk.

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Batista was tempted by Hebner's offer of an invisible Nestle Crunch, but Flair's invisible hoagie looked much more delicious.

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Hebner sighed as he watched the two go at it in the ring. If only he were a little younger, with a trimmer body...

I'm talking about getting into wrestling, you pervs.

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Hebner: "And the winner, Chris Benoit."
Dave: *sobbing happily* "There ain't gonna be no rematch, man. There ain't gonna be no rematch."

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Dave: "Yo, Adriannnnn!!!!"

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Matt: "So, you know, at the end, Neo, like, gets absorbed by Agent Smith, but then, all the Agent Smiths dissaper! And you know, it's all a religious allegory! Because Neo is like a Christ figure, and the Oracle is like God the Father, and that means..."
Lita: "Zzzzz....."

El Santo

07-21-2004, 12:58 AM

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Jericho: "Wait a minute. Hair vs. hair match? That's not fair?"

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Bischoff: "YOU! .............. Pull my finger!"

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Jericho: "... So they de-pushed me to microphone boom operator. What they got you doing, Glenn?"
Kane: "Don't ask." *turns to crowd* "Peanuts! Cotton candy!"

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Dave was distressed that his old pal Jericho had been de-pushed so badly, he was jobbing in his sleep. If only there was something he could do to help.

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Writer: "Alright, Chris, we talked to Dave, and we've decided to put you back in the rotation. You have to job to the following divas."
Jericho: "I have to job ten times to skinny, untrained ... shapely, sexy women? ... I could live with that."
Writer: "No. We're going to have them all pile on you in a single rumble type match."
Jericho: "... better."

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Edge started getting nervous. That sign saying "Chynay" couldn't mean what he thought it was ... could it?

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On a very special Raw is Passion, Edge reenacts the Third Station of the Cross: Jesus Falls the First Time.

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No one forgot the night Randy gave Edge the most hardcore shampooing of his life.

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The crowd erupted with laughter as the Edge/Orton match was interrupted by the entrance of one Cosmo Kramer.

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Ref: "I have a mortal wound."
Edge: "Where? Where does it hurt?"
Ref: "Oh, pretty much around the big bloody spot."

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The first ever Raw in Space got really weird after the gravitational generators broke.

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Randy had this match won. Unfortunately, the ref had suddenly developed a case of the delirium tremes.

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The piggyback ride had been going well until Edge tripped over the middle ring rope.

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Edge was so thrilled by the win that he didn't notice the green tapeworm emerging from his left bicep.

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Randy was so distressed by his loss that even turning into a 30-foot giant couldn't make him smile.

FourFifty

07-21-2004, 12:59 AM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/08.jpg
Actors at the auditions for the Green Lantern movie stand dumbfounded when the producers, for some heinous, ungodly reason, decide to give the title role to <strike>Jack Black (http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=17971)</strike>A-Train.

I just made your post better :D

Raising Kane

07-21-2004, 01:57 AM

Ugh! I really suck this week. Please don't throw stuff at me. :(
Also thanks to Trips for fixing the pic limit. :D

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Regal: No I do not want to join your "Kiss My Ass" club! You can't make me!
HHH (Raises eyebrows and crosses his arms): Did you just say you want to job on Heat for all eternity?
Regal: Where's the bloody chapstick?!

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Triple H didn't want to hurt Regal's feelings, but his performance of the Macarena truly stunk.

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Pointing at Edge... I fink I know you!
Edge: :wtf:

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Obviously the Tajiri WMD wasn't ready for production. It had a tendency to backfire and bury itself in the stomach of the operator.

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Hurricane: So Stacy, what super powers do you have?
Stacy: I'm not sure about powers, but watch this! I have so much tanning oil on my ass right now, if we shine a light up my dress the resulting glare will blind the whole crowd!
Hurricane(as he turns away): NO! Don't do it!

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Trish: Our next item up for bid... a life size, anatomically correct Stacy mannequin. Who'll start the bidding?
Silence....
Trish: Come on people! Even I'm worth a dollar Canadian... Oh wait... :-\

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Benoit had to perform the Heimlich Maneuver on Batista after he choked on HHH's nuts.

Damn those irresistable honey roasted peanuts!

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Ref: Batista! Will you grab Benoit already? I'm tired of you guys just hanging around the ring whenever you feel like it!

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Benoit: All this time and the only move Triple H has taught you is the Blowjob from Hell?
Batista: Yeah. He said that was the only move I needed to learn to get a push.

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Batista after a super size slurpee: Ahhhhhhhhhh! Brain Freeze!

or

Surgeon General's Warning: Performance of WWE storylines by wrestlers may result in whatthefuckweretheythinking syndrome, career death, and pregnancy.
Batista: Nooooooooooooooo!

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Jericho: I can't wrestle him. Can't you smell that?? You'd think Lita's stench would have faded by now damn it!

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You WILL finish that match, even if you have to do it with a clothespin on your nose! Trash my office will ya. *evil laugh*

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Batista laughed at Jericho for fainting due to the "Lita stench", until he got a whiff of it himself.

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Raise your hand if you used to be a man...

*ducks* I'm just kidding!

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Edge: Hey look Randy! Someone must have told them your high school nickname. Who could be so cruel?
*snickers*
Randy: I can't believe you told! Hunter!!!!

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Hunter decided to bury Edge before he could reveal all of HIS secrets.

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Randy: Dude, there is something in your eye!
Edge: Like your finger perhaps?

or

Randy was so helpful! Imagine, helping to rearrange Edge's face so he would be sure to get the lead role in the re-make of the Elephant Man.

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Edge: Hey! Are you alright?!
Ref (high pitch): I'd be just fine if you'd get your knee off my nuts!

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I stole the cream filling... and used it as mousse for my hair!

(sorry for stealin the cream filling... but I had to do it!)

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Ewwww! That's NOT what cream filling is for!

FourFifty

07-21-2004, 02:01 AM

Ugh! I really suck this week. Please don't throw stuff at me. :(

I'm not sure which ones to point out to say that you did damn good with bad pics, which mean really funny "You fucking bastard I spilt soda on my new blazer as it came out of my nose laughing at your captions" captions.

Raising Kane

07-21-2004, 02:20 AM

I'm not sure which ones to point out to say that you did damn good with bad pics, which mean really funny "You fucking bastard I spilt soda on my new blazer as it came out of my nose laughing at your captions" captions.

:kiss: Least it wasn't grape juice or somethin...

Mayo

07-21-2004, 02:42 AM

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Hurricane was beyond grateful when RC Cola Man came to his rescue.

LMAO, I used to drink that stuff as a kid.

Mayo

07-21-2004, 02:50 AM

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Lita knew she found her true love when Matt Hardy botched fondling her tits

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Kane: What's your name boy!
Jericho: Chris.. Chris Jericho!
Kane: *WHIP!* I said what's your name boy!
Jericho: CHRIS! CHRIS JERICHO!
Kane: *CRACK* WHAT'S YOUR NAME BOYYYYYYY.
Jericho: Jobbbbbbbberrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! :(

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USA retaliated against the Middle East by producing the first ever Weapons of Mass Erection.

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Ref: Look Randy, I'm going to explain this to you one more time. Sometimes worthless people who will never draw any money will get the title too. It's part of the business.
Randy: Wait, but how can a jobber like that go over ME!
Ref: *Sigh* Look Randy, I'm going to explain this to you one more time. Sometimes worthless people who will never draw any money will get the title too. It's part of the business.
Randy: Yeah, but how in the hell is Edge going to go over Randy Orton?
Ref: Look Randy... Hey, is that a My Little Pony?

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Authorities say that Loose Cannon was seen fleeing the scene with a tire-iron wrapped in barbed wire. More to come as this story develops.

:rofl: Great stuff RB.

Corkscrewed

07-21-2004, 03:16 AM

Wait, Triple A fixed the pic limit? W00t! Hopefully it's up to like 100, because Santo and Rock Bottom were on FIRE!!! I haven't had to stifle my laughter (due to being in a quiet area) that much in a long while!

:rofl: :rofl:

Hired Hitman

07-21-2004, 04:40 AM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/071904/images/03.jpg

... Haha, Triple H is humping Regals leg :D

PorkSoda

07-21-2004, 09:57 AM

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Triple H: Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry!
(After a really bad Yo-Mamma Fat joke)
Triple H: (Sobbing) Eric, you sure are a funny guy, but you...you dont know alot about hurting other peoples feelings. *Sniff*

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Alex Trebek: The vegetable that is round and when you cut it in half, you cry.
William Regal: Who is The Fabolous Moolah?

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Doctor: COME ON! A FEW MORE PUSHES!
Triple H: IT HURTS IT HURTS!
Regal: LET ME HELP YOU!
*Kicks HHH in the butt*
Doctor: Congratulations, Its a girl!

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Hurricane: Come get some!
Stacy: Dur na dun! Der na dun dun der da dun!
Hurricane: Shuwappapa!

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"No Lita, Britanny Spears is a slut. They say your a 10 dollar slut, well Spears is a 5 cent whore, I would be proud"

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Kane: HEY ROBIN, GET OVER HERE!
Jericho: What is it, Batman?
Kane: I need to put your costume on.
Jericho: I dun wanna wear tha thong, Batman!
Kane: You have to, Put it on!
Jericho: Batman...The thong makes my ASS show *Turns Around*
Ref: OH MY GOD! *Has a heart attack and faints*

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Batista: (Iron Man running threw his head) Now the time is here for Iron Man to spread fear....
*Throws Jericho into a wall*
Batista: (To himself) What now? Hmm....lets get a hot dog and a warm glass of Pepsi!

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The ref suffers the effects from the dreaded Bitch-Grabbing Flys.