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View Full Version : SmackDown Captions (July 22, 2004)

FourFifty
07-23-2004, 02:23 AM
<font color=cyan> 47 freaking pics this week!
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/01.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/02.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/03.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/04.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/05.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/06.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/07.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/08.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/09.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/10.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/11.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/12.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/13.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/14.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/15.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/16.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/17.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/18.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/19.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/20.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/21.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/22.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/23.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/24.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/25.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/26.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/27.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/28.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/29.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/30.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/31.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/32.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/33.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/34.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/35.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/36.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/37.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/38.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/39.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/40.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/41.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/42.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/43.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/44.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/45.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/46.jpg>
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/47.jpg>
FourFifty
07-23-2004, 02:25 AM
<font color=cyan><img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/01.jpg>
Kurt was amazed! Max Mini looked nothing like he thought he would without the mask!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/02.jpg>
Spike and Chavo do their adaptation of “Triple H and the Raw locker room.”

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/03.jpg>
“RICHARDS!!!!!”

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/04.jpg>
<b>Kurt:</b> Okay, by popular demand, SmackDown will have it’s own women’s title!
<b>Dawn:</b> But isn’t that the old US title?
<b>Sable:</b> Yeah, it is… Won’t the fans notice?
<b>Kurt:</b> With how bastardized the heavyweight and the tag team titles are, no, they won’t notice.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/05.jpg>
And these two men saw only the previews for Catwoman.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/06.jpg>
<b>Vince:</b> Okay, Bubba, for the end of the match, we need to put Paul Kidman on the invisible crucifix!
<b>Bubba:</b> But I’m fighting Billy---
<b>Vince:</b> Damn it! Then put Billy London on the invisible crucifix!
<b>Bubba:</b> We’re out of crucifixes.
<b>Vince:</b> Damn it! Improvise!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/07.jpg>
Hey, Bubba! Where did the credibility of the SmackDown tag team titles go?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/08.jpg>
<b>Kurt:</b> Take it! Get that mid card WCW title away from me!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/09.jpg>
<b>Kurt:</b> Just because you wear the retro style shirt with the beaded necklace and the shaggy hair does NOT mean you can start your own emo band!
<b>Funaki:</b> But it was Vince’s idea! It won’t get buried!
<b>Kurt:</b> Oh crap! Vince’s idea? You’re feuding with JBL for the heavyweight title!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/10.jpg>
<b>Bubba:</b> Do you know the name of the guy on first?
<b>Spike:</b> I don’t know, who’s on first?
<b>Bubba:</b> Yes!
<b>Spike:</b> Yes is on first?
<b>Bubba:</b> No, who.
<b>Spike:</b> That’s what I wanna know!
<b>Bubba:</b> What do you wanna know?
<b>Spike:</b> Who’s on first?
<b>Bubba:</b> Yes! Who is on first!
<b>D-Von:</b> Shut the hell up before I kill the both of you!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/11.jpg>
<B>David Arquette:</B> Now that’s a sad excuse for a champion.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/12.jpg>
<b>Vince:</b> I like him! He’s big, he’s a solid worker, and he’s a great hoss! Kick off Billy London from the card tonight so we can have a promo hyping the debut of this man!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/13.jpg>
“Now this belt means somethin’ to me! I had to trade my Jigglypuff and Meowth cards for this belt from Shane! Had to give ‘em my blue eyes white dragon to keep it last week!”

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/14.jpg>
<b>JBL:</b> Mr. Shamrock, it’s an honor to meet you!
<b>Dude:</b> :wtf:

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/15.jpg>
Even Moshe Shlomo had to laugh at JBL’s promo.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/16.jpg>
If this powerbomb wasn’t cool enough, then the fact that he was crapping out a ref had to be make it cool.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/17.jpg>
John Bradshaw Hunter Layfield even had to hold down the bandwidth.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/18.jpg>
“WHAT!!!! Brock doesn’t like homosexuals!?!? I gotta cancel the flowers I’m sending to him!!!”

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/19.jpg>
“Uh-Oh!”

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/20.jpg>
<b>Walker, Texas Janitor:</b> Uhhh… JBL… We’re turning off the lights. The show has been over for 6 hours… isn’t it time to ended your promo?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/21.jpg>
And after this, Mark was never allowed to eat Mexican food before a show, ever again.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/22.jpg>
“DON’T YOU EVER TOUCH MY CREAM FILLING!!!!!”

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/23.jpg>
The ploy was simple- The Undertaker will sing lullabies to JBL, and when he’s napping, Belty would run toward freedom, and credibility.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/24.jpg>
After this segment, fans had a new appreciation for Shannon Moore.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/25.jpg>
Was I the only one begging for The Three Minute Warning?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/26.jpg>
Scarfy was no match for Belty.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/27.jpg>
And somewhere out there, there’s a gay man with no underwear.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/28.jpg>
<b>Sable:</b> We don’t like the idea of the Raw Diva Search! We have worked hard to get where we are!
<b>Dawn:</b> I busted my ass off in ECW, wrestling, and doing my best to impress the fans to get where I am now! These little tramps have a chance to get a contract! I busted my ass off!
<b>Torrie:</b> Well, I did something with my ass, but I didn’t bust it…
<b>Jackie:</b> All I did was “take it in the back” from Shane… and Vince… and Pat Patterson.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/29.jpg>
“And IIIIIIII, IIIIIIII, IIIIIIII, will always love youuuuuuuuuU!!!!”

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/30.jpg>
“OHMYGOD! OVER 30 PICS AND IT’S NOT A PPV!!!!”

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/31.jpg>
Even the SmackDown Divas are disgusted at Hunter’s honeymoon tape.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/32.jpg>
<b>D-Von:</b>I’ll make you squeal like a piggy!
<b>Rey:</b> Oh Crap! He saw <u>Deliverance!</u>

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/33.jpg>
<b>Bubba:</b> Sorry Rey, but Vince told me that I need to interfere with your match. Vince won’t allow a cruiserweight to cleanly beat a heavyweight.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/34.jpg>
<b>Billy:</b> Sorry! Thought you were a hand puppet.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/35.jpg>
In an attempt to outshine Zach Gowen, Rey became the first wrestler to wrestle without a head.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/36.jpg>
It was a good match until the ref was memorized by his invisible sub.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/37.jpg>
And Cena learns that reading your own palm isn’t as much fun as it sounded like it would be.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/38.jpg>
<I>*(insert HGA joke here)*</I>

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/39.jpg>
<b>Vince:</b> Okay, you can let go of my hand now.
<b>Kurt:</b> I’m trying, I really am!
<b>Vince:</b> Let go of my hand, damn it!
<b>Kurt:</b> Did you shake hands with Rhyno?
<b>Vince:</b> Yes, NOW LET GO OF MY DAMN HAND!!!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/40.jpg>
Vince just saw the GAB.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/41.jpg>
Kurt was a little upset when nothing happened after he clicked the ruby slippers three times and said “There’s no place like Raw, there’s no place like Raw, there’s no place like Raw.”

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/42.jpg>
Moments earlier Kurt learned the hard way that the rumors about Vince’s laser eyes were true…

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/43.jpg>
<b>“DON’T YOU EVER BRING UP THE MARK HENRY/MAE YOUNG STORYLINE AGAIN!!!!”</b>

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/44.jpg>
<b>Vince:</b> Are you sure this is how we play baseball?
<b>Kurt:</b> Of course! Lita taught me!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/45.jpg>
<I>*moments earlier*</I>
“No, I don’t want any damn pain killers! I’ll take the catheter like a man!”

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/46.jpg>
Eddie realizes that he has reached the heights of Hogan, Sting, Ric Flair, and Doink The Clown when he can come out, not say or do anything, and still get a pop.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/47.jpg>
Vince led the good, Christian life style, as he lets God be his driver…
Until he could find a perfect moment to screw him over in front of his country men in a heavyweight title match when he doesn’t want to drop the title to HBK.
FourFifty
07-23-2004, 02:25 AM
<font color=cyan>And Now, JBL dazzles us all with his impressive acting repertoire!
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/19.jpg><img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/18.jpg><img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/17.jpg>
Impressive, isn’t it?
BAH GAWD! My sarcasm meter is going off the hook!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/05.jpg>
<b>Bubba:</b> Yeah! The Dudley Boyz are the 18 time… 18 time…18 time…18 time…18 time…18 time…18 time…18 time…18 time…18 time…18 time…18 time…18 time…….Crap! I lost count!
Face Heely
07-23-2004, 02:59 AM
Say what you will about John Bradshaw Leyfield's gimmick,
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/11.jpg

Promo skills,
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/13.jpg

wrestling ability,
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/16.jpg

or even his odd resemblance to a Smurf,
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/19.jpg

At least John Bradshaw Leyfield hasn't let the WWE Championship go to his head.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/23.jpg
...Aww, crap.
Savio
07-23-2004, 03:09 AM
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/36.jpg
Ref: No one move if I'm fast enough I can catch the sybolish thing
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/03.jpg
Trim spa baby!
El Santo
07-23-2004, 10:39 AM
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/01.jpg>
Kurt: "Richard Kind? God, I LOVED you in 'Spin City'!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/02.jpg>
Fortunately, Chavo was saved when Spike was suddenly enamoured by the floating blue pizza.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/03.jpg>
“IIIIIII ... am the very model of a modern major general, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral..."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/04.jpg>
Now, there's a reason why Kurt Angle is covering up Little Kurt...

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/08.jpg>
Kurt: "Here. YOu might want to wash it down before you put it on."
Booker: "Why would I .................. !!!!!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/09.jpg>
Funaki was flattered by the proposal but ... how could he break it to Kurt that he wasn't a girl?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/10.jpg>
What the Dudleys do when they run out of paper towels in the rest room.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/11.jpg>
"It may only be this big, but size doesn't matter, dammit."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/12.jpg>
Fans of the Terminator series never forgot the little known sequel: T-2000 Does Dallas.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/14.jpg>
JBL may be the Champion, but he could never beat the local jobbers at thumb war.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/17.jpg>
He said he would hold the belt until Summerslam.
"I will hold the belt until Summerslam."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/18.jpg>
Then he spoke of its great significance.
"It will be significant."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/19.jpg>
And then... he killed the dog.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/22.jpg>
JBL knew something was very, very wrong when the "Undertaker" suddenly told him to "Snap into a Slim Jim! Oooooh yeahhhh!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/23.jpg>
Unfortunately, Taker had put the belt in the wrong place, and the whole world went blind after a glimpse of JBL's crotch.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/24.jpg>
"Happy birthday, Mr. President."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/25.jpg>
"Three little maids from school are we, pert as a school-girl well can be, filled to the brim with girlish glee, thee little maids from school!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/26.jpg>
And she's not only a Diva, she's a trained magician as well, folks!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/27.jpg>
Jackie had a promo to do, but for some reason, the little Jawa didn't want her to go onstage.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/28.jpg>
On WWE Flashback, we take you back to the early days when Edge & Christian and the Hardy Boyz go undercover. They're on a collision course with wackiness!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/42.jpg>
Kurt: "You wouldn't hurt. um... a ONE-LEGGED MAN, would you?"
Vince: "Hasn't stopped me before."
Kurt: "Damn."
Corkscrewed
07-23-2004, 12:34 PM
Wow, that's some quality stuff Always! Loved the Abbot and Costello reference, and the Pokemon and Yugi Oh jokes never get old. :lol:

And Face Heely, great setup with that! Very clever how you got those pics to match up to that! :y: :y:
Corkscrewed
07-23-2004, 01:55 PM
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/01.jpg>
Kurt Angle unveils his new Catholic Priest gimmick.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/02.jpg>
Despite his recent dismissal, WWE decided to go ahead with infomercials for their new Chavo Classic Treadmill. It gives you a CLASSIC workout!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/03.jpg>
The WWE reached a new low when they had Spike give birth to a foot.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/04.jpg>
Ever since he'd gotten rid of Superman, Lex found himself a lot more popular with the ladies.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/05.jpg>
Bubba: "Aw! My ass!"
Kidman: "This is why you don't play darts with Steven Richards."

OR

Billy: "Okay, so I cock the gun and the trigger is right--"
*BANG!*
Bubba: "OWWWW!!! Not the good cheek!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/06.jpg>
Bubba and the Giant Sky Wrench would have to work on their transfers if they wanted to do well in the Great Cruiserweight Relay Pass.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/07.jpg>
Brock (offscreen): "I heard you and D-Von are cuddle buddies!!!"
Bubba: "Huh? Uh... no... um... THEY'RE the homos!" *points at London and Kidman*
Brock: "Homos? KILL!!!!"
And thus, much to Vince's glee, the Cruiserweight problem was taken care of.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/08.jpg>
Angle: "Here, Booker, take it."
Booker: "Thanks!"
Belty: "But I wanna go back to Cena! People cheered me!!!"
Angle: "Talk to the hand, cuz the face ain't listening!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/09.jpg>
Funaki was insulted. How could Kurt say Godzilla wasn't the best movie monster ever?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/10.jpg>
Bubba: "Look... we're not sure how to break this to you, but you're a jobber. You lose. You'll never get a push."
Spike: "But... but... my win! And I get a shot at the title next week... and..."
D-Von: "No, Spike, you're a jobber."
Spike: :'(

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/11.jpg>
As if his showerroom shennanigans weren't enough, now Bradshaw's not afraid to molest statues in public!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/12.jpg>
So it was the statue of Rocky who'd killed JR on Dallas all along! Thirty years, and it was all a swerve!!!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/13.jpg>
"I won the damn popular vote, but all I have to show for it is this lousy belt!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/14.jpg>
Bradshaw: "Hey, aren't you that little jobber in FBI?"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/15.jpg>
Warning to amateurs: Attempts at the Spinneroonie by the untrained my result in serious injuries.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/16.jpg>
Jobber: "I'm rising! I'm rising!! I'm floating above the glass ceiling!!!"
JBL: "Oh no you don't! If I don't have any credibility, you won't either!!!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/17.jpg>
Despite getting his hand stuck in Sean O'Haire's cage, JBL still maintained his classy smile while he waited for help to arrive.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/18.jpg>
"Oh shit! I locked my <s>keys</s> Mexican in my car!"

OR

"Whaddya MEAN Eddie made me an official sponsor of Ralph Nader???"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/19.jpg>
The first-ever "JBL Passes a Stone" segment was a huge ratings bust.

OR

The surgery was long and hard, and ultimately, doctors decided that they could not remove the rod from JBL's ass afterall.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/20.jpg>
Horror fans marked out when Frankenstein made his wrestling debut.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/21.jpg>
After hearing he was getting the title at Summerslam, Undertaker was on Cloud 9...

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/22.jpg>
Bradshaw learned the hard way: never badmouth the Amish.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/23.jpg>
Taker wasn't too fond of the human skin belt straps on the new WWE Championship title.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/24.jpg>
Taylor Hansen's WWE debut was ravishing.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/25.jpg>
The fan with the sign said it all: we all want better.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/26.jpg>
Okay, I seriously have nothing for this.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/27.jpg>
Same here. Pointless crap.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/28.jpg>
"We are here to protest Carmela's inevitable Diva Challenge victory. She's going to make us all look like Chyna!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/29.jpg>
Kurt: "Well, I'm sorry, but you're all about as plastic and stupid as Joanie..."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/30.jpg>
Torrie: *GASP!* "He called me plastic!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/31.jpg>
Ladies: "We're not stupid! Just because we can't act convincingly, or wrestle well, or act maturely, or refrain from botching things, or read at a 5th grade level doesn't mean we're stupid!!!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/32.jpg>
D-Von: "Why did you wait until today to tell me I was getting depushed last week???"
Rey: *gack* "I'm sorry!" *choke* "I get my information from Joey Radd!" *cough*

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/33.jpg>
Rey was doing fine in the Dudleys' midget ostacle course until he got to the hurdles.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/34.jpg>
With Kidman's help, D-Von too was able to perform a lackluster shooting star press.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/35.jpg>
Rey was just napping there on the ring ropes when that rude D-Von just had to grab his balls.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/36.jpg>
Luther: "I'll choke you good I will!"
Cena: *gasp* *gack*
Hebner: "You have failed me for the last time, Admiral. No... you have FAILED me for the last TIME, Admiral. No... YOU have failed ME for the LAST time, Admiral. Dammit, that's not the tone..."
Cena: "A little!" *choke* "Help! Please..."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/37.jpg>
It was beginning to get annoying. Everything he went for the finishing blow, Cena's had would always get in the way!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/38.jpg>
Cena was saved from a blind cheap shot when at the very last moment, he spotted a shiny new nickel.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/39.jpg>
The firstever ThumbWar for the Chairman Position Match was tense and riveting.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/40.jpg>
"I let WHO become champ for two months???"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/42.jpg>
"It's okay, Kurt. Hunter already took care of it."

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/43.jpg>
"DON'T YOU EVER USE MY MONEY TO BET ON THE ASTROS TO WIN THE PENANT AGAIN!!!!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/44.jpg>
Suddenly, Vince was possessed by the spirit of Tanya Harding.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/45.jpg>
"No Yugi-Oh! Use the defense card! It's really a trap!!!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/46.jpg>
Whenever Eddie was around, fans always suddenly got brilliant, exclamation mark worthy ideas.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/47.jpg>
Vince: "So, Eddie... we're gonna be doing this for The Rock?"
Innovator
07-23-2004, 02:05 PM
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/01.jpg>
Kurt: "Benjamin Israeli?!?!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/02.jpg>
See Vince? Told you God likes Cruiserweight Matches

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/03.jpg>
Jarrett before the roids

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/04.jpg>
Why in the wide world of sports is Luther looking at Kurt?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/05.jpg>
It was at this time that Bubba took up Billy on his "high fiber" diet

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/06.jpg>
Highest. Atomic Drop. Ever

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/07.jpg>
Billy remembers when he first met HHH

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/08.jpg>
Kurt: Here Book, the US Championship!
Booker: But Kurt, I've already won this...back in the 90's. Those damn homos in the writing team should know that. Then I won the WCW Title 5 times.
Kurt: You know Vince doesn't like it when you mention that word...
Booker: You mean WCW?
Kurt: no I mea-
*Brock jumps through the wall*
Kurt: Sorry Brock false alarm
Brock: AAAAAAWWWWWW

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/09.jpg>
Kurt: Tanaka?!?! SWING ME!
Funaki: Relapse?
Luther: Yup

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/10.jpg>
Bubba: And thats the second time I got crabs

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/11.jpg>
Tommy Gunn has changed a lot since Rocky V huh

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/12.jpg>
"YO ADRIAN! GIDDYUP!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/13.jpg>
Belty: Thats it I'm outta here

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/14.jpg>
JBL: John Bradshaw Layfield, Smackdown! rush chairman, damn glad to meet ya
El Santo
07-23-2004, 02:25 PM
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/47.jpg>
Vince: "So, Eddie... we're gonna be doing this for The Rock?"

Hee-larious. :)

Great job all around, Cork.
Corkscrewed
07-23-2004, 04:27 PM
It's nice to have you back as well, Santo.
parkmania
07-23-2004, 08:11 PM
<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/01.jpg>
Angle: Look, Chimmel, I'm telling you, chicks really dig the bald look.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/04.jpg>
It's good to be the king.

rep for reference

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/05.jpg>
Bubba: Billy, quit trying to rip off Cena's "pumping up" bit...

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/06.jpg>
Fortunately, Bubba managed to catch Kidman when Vince McMahon pulled the glass ceiling out from under Billy.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/07.jpg>
Bubba: Damn, Paul, even that guy in the front row is getting a bigger push than you.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/08.jpg>
Angle: Look, Booker, I promised the Board of directors I wouldn't tell anyone, but - It's full of chocolate.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/09.jpg>
Angle: You're FIRED!
Funaki: You're not telling me anything I don't already know.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/10.jpg>
Bubba: Our travel money's been cut, so Spike, we're gonna have to stow you in the overhead compartment on the plane to Tokyo.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/11.jpg>
JBL: And Vince really likes it when you "fluff" him right about here.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/12.jpg>
TROJAN MAAAAAN

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/19.jpg>
JBL: Damn, Big Show warned me about Eddie's burritos...

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/28.jpg>
Dawn Marie: You mean we got all undressed for THIS?!?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/29.jpg><img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/30.jpg><img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/31.jpg>
Angle: OK ladies, your next Divas Undressed photo shoot is going to take place in a REALLY exotic place... ANTARCTICA!
Torrie: NOOOOOO!
Dawn Marie, Sable, and Jackie: Anywhere but there!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/37.jpg>
Cena: I can't see you.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/38.jpg>
Worst. Back. Bodydrop. Ever.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/40.jpg>
Vince: How dare you send the Divas to Antarctica without me being there to "warm them up"?
Transplant
07-23-2004, 08:16 PM
450, That was some good shit.
Mayo
07-23-2004, 08:50 PM
450, That was some good shit.

Same with Corky and everyone else, great stuff :y:
Favre4Ever
07-23-2004, 09:12 PM
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/03.jpg

Spike had the misfortune of being handcuffed to the ring and forced to watch "From Justin to Kelly".

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/04.jpg

Angle: "The reason i've called you here is quite simple, ladies. Each of you will draw straws. Whoever picks the shortest straw will be involved in a gangbang with Luther and I tonight.

Torrie: "But i've already-"

Everyone Stares

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/05.jpg

Billy Kidman's worst fears had been confirmed. Bubba had tried out the new Ranchero Chicken Soft Tacos at Taco Bell, and Kidman would be the first to taste its effects.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/06.jpg

"Bubba, swing me HIGHER!!!!!"

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/10.jpg

And all of a sudden, it was high school all over again for Spike.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/11.jpg

John Bradshaw Layfeild puts on his best "Steriotypical Asian" expression for the cameras.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/12.jpg

Among the Undertaker's talents as a member of the undead is the ability to turn terrible wrestlers into stone.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/13.jpg

Bradshaw, after his confrontation with the Undertaker
"And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, this authentic Championship belt can be yours for the low, low price of $19.99............"
PorkSoda
07-23-2004, 09:33 PM
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/01.jpg

Tony Chimmel: Punch me in the nose!
Kurt Angle: What?
Tony Chimmel: I want you to punch me in the nose!
Kurt Angle: What are you, Tyler Durdan of Fight Club?
Tony Chimmel: (On Knees in a begging/crying voice) Please Mr. Angle, I'm gay, Just hit me in the face and get it over with!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/03.jpg

"This photo taken at 4:38 PM. Godzilla has awaken, and is now attacking New York City."

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/04.jpg

Sable: My pistol is....
Torrie: Loaded!
Miss Jackie: I shot...
Dawn: BETTY CROCKAAAAAAAAR!
Miss Jackie: I delievered Col Sanders for Torrie Wilson's locker!
Torrie: Oh screw you!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/05.jpg

Dvon: OK Bubba, this is a new kind of horse. You put his head right under your belt and he'll give you the ride.
Bubba: NOOOOO!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/09.jpg

Funaki: This is Angle, Smackdown NUMBA ONE Asshole!
Kurt Angle: What did you say? WHAT DID YOU SAY? YOU JAPANESE PUNK, YOUR FIRED!
Luther Reigns: (Low pitched) huh-hUh! Oh wait..thats not right *Cough cough* HAH-HAH! Thats better.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/12.jpg

Bradshaws music hits.
Music: DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!
Tazz: Here comes the shit mobile.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/25.jpg

Jackie: Hey Torrie, I used that abs machine you gave me, but I just cant seem to get any results...
Sable: Dat's cuz yew've been using it backwuhds.

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/17.jpg

JBL: I'm Tugboat...TOOT-TOOT!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/43.jpg

Vince: Kurt, I got one thing to say to you....YOUR SSSSSSEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXY!
Kurt: What?
Vince: Huh? Oh - YOUR ON FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIRE!

http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/44.jpg

Kurt: Hey Vince, is that your crutch or are you just happy to see me?
FourFifty
07-23-2004, 11:13 PM
<font color=cyan><img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/11.jpg>
<b>JBL:</b> Now I'm gonna pull this fella's pants down around his ankles, and spread peanut butter on his butt cheeks while singing "Walking On Broken Glass" and I'll STILL keep the title!
Mayo
07-24-2004, 03:29 AM
Haven't done Smackdown captions in a while, but here goes...

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/01.jpg>
Tony Chimmel didn't know what to say when Angle started playing tea party.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/02.jpg>
Spike had gotten a lot stronger since joining the gym; he could bend the ringpost by merely bending the ropes.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/03.jpg>
Spike really hated the itch when his wife forgot to put cornstarch in his underwear.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/04.jpg>
Angle: What is the square root of 49?
*Torrie, Sable, and Jackie are puzzled*
Dawn: Kurt, is that a joke? Too easy.
Angle: Well that's the easiest way to tell a natural blonde.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/05.jpg>
Bubba: Who the fuck turned on those spotlights???
Kidman: I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/06.jpg>
Bubba: Jesus, who's operating the crane pulling you to safety?
Kidman: :lol:

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/07.jpg>
The war between the two front seat fans escalated after the guy wearing the Bubba jersey called the guy with the sign a homo.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/08.jpg>
Angle: No, no, Booker. This title doesn't go to WCW guys anymore.

OR

Angle: We don't appreciate your kind coming in here stealing our titles.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/09.jpg>
Angle: Yeah, thats right! That guy behind me isn't called Lube Larson because he's an auto mechanic! Get him, Lube!
Funaki: :eek:

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/10.jpg>
Bubba: Please tell me you didn't turn down Torrie after she asked you to come over.
Spike: I had to go over to Hunter's last night, I promised him!
D-Von: Well, at least you are keeping your push...

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/11.jpg>
JBL: I know I'm almost grabbing his crotch, but its okay, I had Subway for lunch!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/12.jpg>
JR's facial paralysis had gotten a LOT worse.

OR

JR: BAHGAWDBBQSAUCESTUNNER!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/13.jpg>
JBL: Is there anyone else besides Eddie that can carry me to a good match for this title?
*crickets chirp*

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/14.jpg>
Nick Patrick was getting visibly agitated after the 30th time that Bradshaw told the other guy to "Put 'er there".

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/15.jpg>
The jobber writhed in pain after John "Cannibal" Bradshaw took a chunk of his hand.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/16.jpg>
Stone Cold showed a bit of ring rust after botching the Lou Thesz press.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/17.jpg>
Bradshaw felt a little too carefree when he forgot his trunks backstage.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/18.jpg>
JBL: Oh shit, my momma is watchin' tonight!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/19.jpg>
JBL: For the love of God, turn away, momma!!!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/21.jpg>
The creatures of the night began to hover around when the Deadman entered.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/22.jpg>
Taker: This is for sucking ass when you followed me in the Ministry!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/23.jpg>
The Smackdown crew had to remind casual viewers that JBL was actually the champion by editing the belt in beside him every 5 minutes.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/24.jpg>
Sable had yet to realize two things to sell watches in NYC: she had to wear a shirt under her jacket, and she actually had to have watches inside.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/25.jpg>
"Voulez vous couchez avec moi, chez soir? Im you're Lady Marmelade!"

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/26.jpg>
Dawn was practicing rolling up the towel to hit Vince in the ass in the shower after Smackdown.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/27.jpg>
Jackie felt pretty embarrassed after her dress got caught on the ropes.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/28.jpg>
Torrie: How dare he say that we don't have any class?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/29.jpg>
The diva segments were so boring that Angle was falling asleep mid promo.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/30.jpg>
Torrie's attempt at a beatbox definitely proved she was white.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/31.jpg>
Sable was the only one that noticed the spotlight pointing to Torrie making out with Spike Dudley in the pressbox.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/32.jpg>
Zeus returns for another attempt at wrestling.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/33.jpg>
Rey was always too slow in the fight for the sports section.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/34.jpg>
Kidman was taking the whole 'sports smack on the ass' thing way too far.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/35.jpg>
D-Von was holding Rey down for the largest noogie in Smackdown history.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/36.jpg>
Ref: I can picture it now: Berlin, Germany, 1941. It was I and two British fellows in the infantry, and we were starting to get to know each other. I had met two strange fellows, one that was a butcher back in Middlesborough, and another from Sussex that hated tea. Can you believe it??? A Brit that hated tea?
Cena: Oh Jesus, I give up! Ring the fucking bell!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/37.jpg>
When Hebner told Cena to 'talk to the hand', that wasn't what he meant.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/38.jpg>
Cena, the new security guard for Jerry Springer, was trying his best to break up the two gay lovers.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/39.jpg>
Angle: Mr. McMahon, its great to see you again.
Vince: Hello Kurt. I hear you've done some horrible things lately.
Angle: What? Who told you? I'm so sorry Vince, it was just, Linda looked really nice in that teddy, and we just fooled around Vince.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/40.jpg>
Vince: You did WHAT with Linda??? :mad:

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/41.jpg>
Angle: I can't help it if I'm a sexy beast, baby.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/42.jpg>
Angle: I know you're pissed, but can I take the crutch out of my foot now?

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/43.jpg>
Vince: You leave it there until I rip it out myself, you hootchie!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/44.jpg>
Angle: OW! Vince, that hurt like a bitch!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/45.jpg>
Angle: Somebody call a doctor. And somebody get some of RVD's stash to numb the pain in the meantime.

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/46.jpg>
Eddie: Sorry holmes, I smoked that shit just now. I feel like I can flyyyyyyyyyy!

<img src=http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/47.jpg>
Vince: You sure you can drive in that condition?
Eddie: Relax Vinnie, you know I've drank much more and stayed alive.
Vince: True.

I did the last half at 2am, so don't get mad if those (or all of them) suck ass.
I-Hate-You
07-29-2004, 09:43 PM
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/44.jpg
Vince didn't take kindly to Kurt Angle brining up the Katie Vick angle again.
NoJabbaNoBogRoll
07-29-2004, 09:48 PM
http://smackdown.wwe.com/results/072204/images/30.jpg
Al Wilson Lives.