And it only gets worse... *SMACKDOWN SPOILERS*

[I-Hate-You]

JBL/Taker Promo: JBL comes out and doesn't shake any hands or kiss any babies. JBL says he was looking forward to coming home to Texas but has a poor reception in Houston and says that he's glad he's in New York now. Then he calls out the Taker and the gong sounds and out comes . . . MINI TAKER. A little midget dressed as the Undertaker comes out with all the garb and does the Undertaker walk down to the ring. JBL tells a bunch of corny short jokes to MINI TAKER and then goes to give him a Tombstone as the Undertaker's music hits. JBL looks for Taker coming from the ramp entrance but turns around to see him right behind him. JBL tells Undertaker he needs to get going and then tries to Brawl with him. Just as Taker is about to put JBL down Orlando Jordan comes out and saves JBL.Undertaker kneels down as the lights dim and then MINI TAKER does the same thing. This didn't sit well with Taker so he gave his little impersonator a big Choke Slam as the show goes off air.

:?:

Okay.

[KingofOldSchool]

LOL

Teddy Long becomes GM and Orlando Jordan gets a push?

[KingofOldSchool]

So ummm where are the rest of the spoilers?

[BLaZeR-]

Bleh...sounds like they're going to pull some dumb shit where Jordan plays the servant ala Virgil.

[I-Hate-You]

So ummm where are the rest of the spoilers?
Well, I kind of got this from another board, and they only posted that part.

:$

Sorry.

[Pegasus Crawford]

Uh... Who is Orlando Jordan? :?: :?: :?:

[HankScorpio]

^^
the Samuel L. Jackson of SmackDown!

[Mikey]

Full spoilers

Thanks to John Cenner:

Dark Match

Funaki vs Carly Colon: Colon got some decent heel heat in this match even though no one knew who he was. He came off as the arrogant, thingy heel and had a big ‘fro. Back and forth action throughout ending with Colon trying to hold the ropes for the pin but the ref sees it and Funaki counters with a rollup for the win.

Velocity

Shannon Moore vs Kenzo Suzuki: I haven't seen Moore in awhile so I just noticed he had cut his hair short. Another promo at the beginning how the fans didn't like Kenzo at first but now they do and that he likes USA. Shannon gets in some pretty good offense here but is taken down by the claw-to-the-head slam by Suzuki for the 3.

FBI promo with Nunzio asking Stamboli if he has a passport for Summer Slam. The Bull says he doesn't need one since its in Toledo. Nunzio corrects him telling him its in Toronto. Stamboli says he'll smuggle a passport.

FBI (Nunzio and Johnny the Bull) vs Jamie Noble and Chavo Guerrero: Pretty decent match here. Lots of EDDIE chants when Chavo was in the ring which he played off well. The ending saw The Bull doing a knee-back breaker on Noble with Nunzio hitting a leg drop from the top rope for the win.

Billy Gunn vs Booker T (Non-title match): Booker got one of the biggest pops of the night. I'm sure they put him on Velocity due to expecting this. Pretty decent match with tons of Booker chants throughout. Booker T does the Spinaroonie and hits the scissors kick for the win.

SmackDown!

Teddy Long says the first match will be a #1 contender match for the US Title. Out first comes John Cena. The Toyota Center is going mad as Cena comes out with a vintage Nolan Ryan Astors jersey. His opponent is RVD.

John Cena vs Rob Van Dam: Tons of Cena chants during this match and not too many RVD chants. Cena suplexes RVD over the top rope. Later on Cena goes for a FU that RVD counters and then goes to the top rope and hits a nice leg drop for a 2. RVD gets Cena on the top rope for a Superplex and nails it but Cena reverses the pinfall with an inside cradle for the 1-2-3. It is announced that Cena will face Booker T at Summer Slam in a Best of 5 Series match to decide the US Championship.

Eddie promo: This was just too fun. Eddie comes out in a nice yellow, low-rider but he doesn't come alone. He has Torrie Wilson, Dawn Marie and Sable in the car with him. Eddie says he needed some help selling Angle's stuff so he solicited the help of the lovely Divas. At one point Eddie gets in the wheelchair and says that his cousin Chuy was supposed to put the hydraulics in but he tells Dawn Marie to sit in his lap and he'll show her some hydraulics. Eddie is the man and the fans are totally loving this so far. He gets the Divas to autograph a few more of the merchandise and they go on their way. Next, Eddie tells us that he has a Summer Slam commercial of his own. It is a 100 meter race and Eddie is in the blocks with the rest of the runners. The gun sounds and Eddie just stands up while the other runners aren't moving. It shows the runners have their shoes tied to the start blocks and Eddie begins to run unchallenged to the end with a little showboating on the way. This was so funny!
Rene Dupree vs Orlando Jordan: This was a really quick match. Dupree throws Jordan to the outside and does his French Tickler. While he does it Jordan gets on the top rope and hits a body press for the 1-2-3. Afterwards Dupree flicks off the fans.

JBL promo: JBL says he's not afraid of the Undertaker and that he will infact call him out tonight.

Kurt Angle (with Luther Reigns) vs Charlie Haas (with Jackie Gayda): This was a great match with a lot of back and forth action and near falls. At one point Haas was a fraction away from getting a 3-count. At the end Angle hits the Angle Slam and clutches in the Ankle Lock for the submission victory. Minimal interference by Luther during the match, mainly just taunted Jackie a couple of times.

Paul London and Billy Kidman vs The Basham Brothers (WWE Tag Team Title Match): A certain Wrestling Babe's dreams have come true. Paul London has new tights! He and Billy had matching white tight shorts with flames on them. Definitely an upgrade for London. Back and forth match with an awesome ending by Mr. London. Paul goes to the top rope and does a double-flip and lands on one of the Bashams for the pin. This move was incredible!

Rey Mysterio and Spike Dudley vs Bubba Ray and Dvon Dudley: Spike sells a injured knee he got at the beginning of the match and doesn't really see any action after that. Rey is left to fight off both Dudleys. He does a pretty good job but gets caught in a 3D and as Spike is crawling to stop the pin its too late. After the match, Spike goes up to Rey to console him and then gives him a big kick in the junk. Bubba and Dvon get a table from under the ring and place Mysterio on it with the Cruiserweight belt on top of his stomach. Spike goes to the top rope and does a jump stomp on Mysterio that breaks the table. After the Dudley celebrate and leave Rey won't let the refs help at first but eventually does as EMS comes to the ring.

JBL/Taker Promo: JBL comes out and doesn't shake any hands or kiss any babies. Some dude had a plastic baby with a sign but I couldn't see what the sign said. Sure it was something funny. JBL says he was looking forward to coming home to Texas but has a poor reception in Houston and says that he's glad he's in New York now. Then he calls out the Taker and the gong sounds and out comes . . . MINI TAKER. A little midget dressed as the Undertaker comes out with all the garb and does the Undertaker walk down to the ring. JBL tells a bunch of corny short jokes to MINI TAKER and then goes to give him a Tombstone as the Undertaker's music hits. JBL looks for Taker coming from the ramp entrance but turns around to see him right behind him. JBL tells Undertaker he needs to get going and then tries to Brawl with him. Just as Taker is about to put JBL down Orlando Jordan comes out and saves JBL. Undertaker kneels down as the lights dim and then MINI TAKER does the same thing. This didn't sit well with Taker so he gave his little impersonator a big Choke Slam as the show goes off air.

[The Mackem]

They really know how to build people up on Smackdown.

[El Santo]

It's better than nothing. OJ really was not going anywhere.

Other then that, sounds like another decent Smackdown. Eddie about to show Dawn Marie his hydraulics? You're the man, Eddie!

[My Final Heaven]

Eddie's wife in real life is 10x hotter than Dawn. :nono:

BUT, you have to consider that it's Dawn Marie after all.

[Eunos]

Orlando Jordon = The Next Virgil

[Corkscrewed]

Oh man, that's terrible (JBL and Jordan).

Though the above is true.

[Corkscrewed]

Coulda been worse... he coulda joined a reformed ministry...

[Mr. JL]

I'll watch Kidman/London V. Basham Brothers
Kurt Angle V. Charlie Haas
and the Eddie G promo

Everything else looks terrible. JBL, midget Taker and Jordan V. Undertaker
That is just bad.

Cena over RVD... that just not right. I bet they edited out all of the RVD chants and inserted the "Cena" chants. I am not a fan of Cena at all. One his promo's or raps are REALLY fucking lacking. And his in-ring skills... WHAT IN RING SKILLS?? He wears a chain, some knuckles, has a watered down Death Valley Driver as his finisher, shakes his shoulders, pumps up his shoes ... oh and he has the five knuckle shuffle. I can't believe that people actually dig this guy.

WHY DOES THE WWE JOB OUT REAL TALENT???

[James Steele]

He has charisma, but is stuck with a shit gimmick. He is going to be the next Rock as far as the talent/charisma ratio.

[TheNamelessOne]

The WWE have the best roster in the history of the sport, yet they seem content of jobbing out every single one that has talent, and push the lousy ones that no one wants to see.

At least with RAW you don't have green talentless wrestlers with little to no-charisma receiving huge pushes into the main event scene. Oh wait.

[Mr. JL]

Though, I suppose I cannot complain too much... Paul London is actually on SMACK DOWN!!!

[.44 Magdalene]

Anything with midgets can't be too bad.

[The CyNick]

I think OJ is green, but he deserves a chance. Ive seen some of his work on Velocity, and he's got the basics, he just needs to be able to put everything together. This is a good spot for him, assuming he isn't going to play a Virgil type charcter.

The bad thing is that it seems like Dupree is being punished hardcore.

The shows seems really strong to me. Its going to be tough to sell JBL vs Taker, the only way I can think to go is to make JBL look like a pussy going into the show, but he ends up winning. People will want to see Taker kick his ass. You cant sell this as a great match, because it wont be. Cant sell it as a dream match, because its not. So they have to go to comedy. I dont think midgets are as funny as Vince does, but its not the worst idea in the world.

I'm a little upset that they aren't doing more serious stuff with Eddie and Kurt, only because they have a long standing rivalry and Kurt cost Eddie the WWE Title. But I guess they figure Eddie's strength is doing comedy, and a lot of people even on here like that aspect of his promos. Hopefully next week being the go home week, they do soemthing really serious to sell the match in a big way.

The matches this week seem about as strong as they have been in a long time. Rvd-Cena should be good, and have great crowd support, London/Kidman v Bashmams sounds good, Spike and Rey is likely strong and of course Kurt-Haas will be very good. So, to me it sounds like a strong show.

[RGWhat316]

So the Spike Dudley heel turn finally happened. I'm interested to hear the crowd reactions when that happens. But doesn't sound like too bad of a show. The Eddie stuff with the divas sounds really funny. Hopefully I'll get to see some stuff like that next week when I go to SD in Detroit, last show before SummerSlam for the second year in a row.

[ColdwaVer]

Orlando Jordan saves JBL and Taker chokeslams a midget.

:wtf:

[Loose Cannon]

They should of put the U.S. Title on Dupree when he was hot. He came into Smackdown with a lot of momemtum going and then they just dropped him.

[Xero]

:nono:

Thats all I have to say...

:nono:

[AareDub]

Sounds like a solid show to me, I'll be watching. Looks like some pretty good matchups and a few good segments. I'm going to have to disagree with just about all of you, because the midget undertaker sounds hilarious to me.

[The One]

So...Orlando Jordon beats Dupree (who a few weeks ago was the #3 heel in the company behind Angle and JBL) and then he is in the Undertaker/Bradshaw mix now...no no no this makes perfect sense, because after all I mean he DID get his THIRD SMACKDOWN WIN EVER...so yeah it makes perfect sense to throw him in the Main Event picture after a year and a half of Velocity snore fests...