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View Full Version : Raw Captions [9-6-2004]


Corkscrewed
09-07-2004, 05:50 PM
Wow! They actually put them up!!!


http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/01.jpg


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http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/27.jpg


http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/28.jpg


http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/29.jpg

KayfabeMan
09-07-2004, 06:16 PM
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/04.jpg
Flair realized he had lost the 2004 Chest Chopping Competition when Rhyno took on the spirit of Tatanka....


http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/08.jpg
Trish should have never pointed out that Victoria was violating the dress code...


http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/18.jpg
Kane: Dude...your gettin' a Dell!


http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/22.jpg
Vince McMahon proudly displays how much money he made off of the XFL, the purchase of WCW, the acquisition of ECW's entire library, and the WBF (combined).


http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/25.jpg
Nearly everyone watching RAW tuned out when Randy Orton's new music video debuted...

Disturbed316
09-07-2004, 06:22 PM
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/04.jpg

Rhyno's version of "The Running Man" dance was a huge success

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/05.jpg

Benoit: I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/08.jpg

The punch was so powerful, Trish's face blew wide open

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/16.jpg

Triple H proudly shows of his World Bandage Championship belt

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/17.jpg

Edge: Yes.... I do suck

:-\

Corkscrewed
09-07-2004, 06:28 PM
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/01.jpg
"We are gathered here today, to mourn the loss of Belty, who committed suicide after having been attached to one John Layfield Bradshaw for an overextended period of time..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/02.jpg
Christian: "Hang onto me!!!"
Tomko: "I'll never let go! I'll never let go!"
Jericho: "Hey Tomko! Watch out! There's Sean O'Haire right behind you about to take revenge for stealing his goatee!!!"
Tomko: "Oh shit!" *lets go and runs away*
Christian: "Gahhh!!!!"
Jericho: "Heh heh heh..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/03.jpg
Things weren't looking too good for Steven Richards when everyone found out he had used Rhyno's crazy glue to levitate the French cream filling out of the green mist so that he could give it to Bret Hart, who he felt was the best wrestler ever.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/04.jpg
Rhyno's Heidi Dance was so hysterical it knocked Flair right off his feet.

OR

Flair takes a breather from laughing after convincing Rhyno that he is indeed a little tea pot, short and stout.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/05.jpg
At this moment, Chris Benoit proved to the world that he was indeed, very "well hung."
*rimshot*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/06.jpg
Grenier: "Oh, I'm sorry, are you locking in the sharpshooter on me?"
*Benoit tightens the hold*
Grenier: "What was that? Oh, are you just helping me stretch my back?"
*Benoit makes hold even more intense*
Grenier: "Hey ref, when Benoit comes back, tell him I was screwing his mother last night..."

(rep for the loose allusion)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/07.jpg
Lita botches HLA with her practice life-size Barbie doll.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/08.jpg
Nobody ever dared mess with Nidia again after she killed Trish with her patented "Explode Your Face Punch."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/09.jpg
The ref was later suspended for a month after he paused midcount, lost control of his inhibitions, and started fingering Nidia live on TV.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/10.jpg
Trish didn't take too kindly to Eugene's new cross dresser gimmick.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/11.jpg
HHH: "Look, man, I'm in need of a million bucks right now, so can you just skip the tasks and give me the money?"
Bischoff: "Dude, I'm not the Benefactor!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/12.jpg
P.A.: "Attention, everyone. This is not a drill. Mordecai has escaped from his cage. This is not a drill. Mordecai is loose!"

:shifty:

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/13.jpg
That was the last time Eugene ever engaged in S&M with Steph while she was on her period.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/14.jpg
And now, a rare picture of Triple H during the nine months he spent in prison...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/15.jpg
Having usually left such a task to Orton, Hunter never realized how hard invisibly crucifying a person actually was.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/16.jpg
The rest of the lockerroom soon got their revenge, though, when they put him on his own invisible cross and set him in quicksand.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/17.jpg
In the first ever Street Fighter Interview, Dhalsim chatted with Alex live on cable TV!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/18.jpg
Things didn't get much better for Lita when she discovered Kane was a closet druggie. It pretty much destroyed any hope that the baby wouldn't be retarted.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/19.jpg
On this night, Jericho discovered that a grotesque side effect of being choked was the sudden and unrestrained swelling of the right bicep to elephantiasis proportions.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/20.jpg
Stuck in this troubling predicament, newly-turned-Buddhist Jericho figured if he patted Tyson's head and rubbed his belly, he might get some luck.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/21.jpg
Ladder matches just weren't as challenging when you faced an opponent with narcolepsy.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/22.jpg
Loose Cannon delivers the mail drop to Vince McMahon.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/23.jpg
Christie was so focused on the arm wrestling contest she forgot to conceal the stalks that revealed her true Andalite origins.

(rep for that reference too... just to see if anyone shared my reading interests... :D)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/24.jpg
And here, we have ever smarks dream come true in the shitting on the Diva Search Contest.

OR

Finally fed up, Ivory goes Eddie-Guerrero-Septic-Truck-Style on the Diva Search girls.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/25.jpg
Coolest. Picture. Ever.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/26.jpg
Orton wasn't quite sure what Thing was doing helping him out, but he certainly didn't mind it.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/27.jpg
HHH: "Muahahaha!!! I have finally trapped you inside the cage!"
Orton: "Noooooo!!! I promise I'll be good! I'll drop it to you at the never PPV!"
HHH: "What's good about dropping it then when I can have it now? Hahahaahahaha!!! Tell Sean and Kevin I said 'Hi!'"
Orton: "But they both escaped the cage!"
HHH: "Then you'll just have to stay there all alone!!!!"
Orton: "NOOOO!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/28.jpg
*moments later*
Orton: "Damn, it's that easy to get out? No wonder O'Haire and Mordecai escaped!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/29.jpg
Orton: "Haha! Look! I'm in the cage, out the cage, in the cage, out the cage, in the cage--" *punch* "DOH!"
HHH: "Here in the cage, we don't take that crap, SIR!"

Funky Fly
09-07-2004, 07:01 PM
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/02.jpg
Jericho desperately tries to save Christian's talent from being pulled into a talent vacuum that appeared at ringside.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/04.jpg
"Alright, STOP! Collaborate and listen,
Rhyno's back with a brand new edition!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/05.jpg
Benoit goes for the most devastating move in wrestling history: The Flying YMCA.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/06.jpg
Conway: Oh god, someone pull that nail out of my foot!
Benoit: Hold still, damnit! I'm trying.
Ref: Check out my shadow puppets.
Conway: Take me now, Lord.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/08.jpg
Nidia: Hey, you've got a piece of string on your face. Lemme get it for you.
Trish: No wait! That's from my nose jo... vlachhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blue Demon
09-07-2004, 07:03 PM
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/08.jpg

GOT YOUR FACE!!!

Xero
09-07-2004, 07:09 PM
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/01.jpg
Bischoff: ... And so, at the request of Mr. McMahon, all titles must be presented to Triple H. So, Hunter... C'MON DOWN!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/02.jpg
Tomko: Dude, your Stretch Armstrong is da bomb!
Jericho: Yeah, I know... I got it off ebay for only $50! That's ebay.com, e-b-a-y dot c-o-m!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/03.jpg
Batista: Where are we!?
Flair: Oh no... I think... WE'RE IN MIDCARD HELL!
Batista: No... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Benoit: Very funny guys...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/04.jpg
Rhyno's impression of Tatanka doing the "choppy choppying someone's pee pee" thing was off the hook!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/05.jpg
Benoit: Oh no... I'm falling... AHHH... Hahaha! Got ya!
Ref: Woah, how'd you DO that!?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/06.jpg
Poor Conway... So poor infact, that he had holes in his boots...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/07.jpg
Lita botching a staring contest by staring at Trish's cap...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/08.jpg
Nidia just HAD to share with EVERYONE that she had her period... Trish was first...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/09.jpg
Ref: OMG, WHERE'S HER HEAD!?
Trish: I dunno...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/10.jpg
JR: BAHGAWDBIGBOOT!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/11.jpg
Eric: Your soul is showing on your chest again...
Hunter: SHIT!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/12.jpg
Seconds later, the Titiantron blasts the entire crowd out of existence with it's super ray gun...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/13.jpg
It's Bugs Bunny!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/14.jpg
Ref (Thinking): Damn that's a sweet ass...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/15.jpg
Eugene: Ahh yeah, right there... Scratch right there... YEAH!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/16.jpg
Hunter: OH, my back!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/17.jpg
Test makes his big return by cutting a promo on The Coach... Seconds later he was fired.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/18.jpg
Kane: I took too many sleeping pills... Do I look... (Snnnoooorrrreee) Okay?
Lita: Ye...
Kane: (SNOOORRREEE)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/19.jpg
Worst... Ventriloquist Act... Ever...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/20.jpg
Lex Luger in the WWE again, who'da thunk!?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/21.jpg
Christian (Mumbling): Make me change the fucking light bulb... I'll show them...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/22.jpg
Vince McMahon shows off his daily pay...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/23.jpg
Amy: I am The Undertaker, see my eyes!? Raaar!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/24.jpg
Shit Fest 2004 was off with a huge boom...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/25.jpg
Randy: I can raise the glass cei.... WTF!? **Bang bang** WTF!? OH DAMNIT!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/26.jpg
Lita: Yessss! I mean NOOOO... I mean... What do I do?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/27.jpg
The recorded announcement was clear... Hunter knew he shouldn't feed the Ortons, but he couldn't help himself...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/28.jpg
Randy: Oh MAN! Steph's house of fetish is GREAT! I'm getting back in line!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/29.jpg
The spot lights were on Orton... Would he jump, or would he... **DUNDUNDUNNNNN** Save the world and kill Hunter!?

Innovator
09-07-2004, 07:47 PM
Corky, isn't that a Family Guy reference

loopydate
09-07-2004, 08:00 PM
Corky, isn't that a Family Guy reference
Followed by an Animorphs reference. Christie-Esgarrouth-Isthill...

...I'm a dork.

Innovator
09-07-2004, 08:01 PM
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/01.jpg
Sleeping Belty, rated PG

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/02.jpg
Jericho, so much talent it literally comes out of his ass

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/03.jpg
Sure he started using roids and grew a beard out, but it was now time for Bret to get revenge on Ric

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/04.jpg
Rhyno: I am evil Rhyno, I am evil Rhyno, I am evil Rhyno, I am evil Rhyno

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/05.jpg
WWE Hooked on Phonics, this is the letter Y

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/27.jpg
HHH: It puts the lotion on its skin...

Shadow
09-07-2004, 08:05 PM
Corky did a Family Guy ref and a Animorphs ref. Booooo yah!

Head
09-07-2004, 08:07 PM
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/16.jpg
You just knew WWE Films was really getting desprate once they released the promotional poster for their upcoming movie "The Passion of the Game."

loopydate
09-07-2004, 08:21 PM
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/01.jpg

Not to be outdone by SmackDown's pet Belty, Eric went out and bought himself a bona fide show belt that he named Beltanium East of the Sun. ...or Belty II for short.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/02.jpg

(Backstage, four months ago)
XIAN: Vince, my back hurts. Can I see Dr. Jho or Dr. Andrews?
VINCE: No! Those are only for main-eventers! I'm not made of money!
XIAN: No, but your pants are.
VINCE: Silence! We'll fix your back the old-fashioned way. Chris? Tyson?
TYSON: Oh, boy! I'ma be a chiropractor!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/03.jpg

REF: Okay, foreigners who will get an inexplicable "USA" chant in their favor get over on this side...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/04.jpg

Rhyno finds out what it feels like to get glue...down there.


http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/05.jpg

The Passion of the Chris now available on DVD!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/06.jpg

REF: Hey, Rob, check it out! This is the church...this is the steeple. Open the doors, and...dammit!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/07.jpg

Yep. Even after discovering her Kryptonian roots, Lita botches heat vision.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/08.jpg

TRISH: I don't know.
(Splash)
NIDIA: Oops...that was supposed to be green.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/09.jpg

After Billy Gunn's "Crash Landing" finisher debuted on Velocity a few weeks back, Vince was looking for his next opportunity to rip off a cool TNA finisher. Unfortunately, Trish's "Slut Destroyer" wasn't quite right yet.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/10.jpg

REF: Best! Limbo! EVER!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/11.jpg

HHH: Um...Eric? You do know you have jizz antlers, right?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/12.jpg

JINDRAK: Yes!
STAMBOLI: All right!
PALUMBO: Whoo-hoo!
O'HAIRE: Follow me, my brothers! Follow me...TO FREEDOM!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/13.jpg

EUGENE: Uh...Uggle Erig? Dis izzud hepping by buddy dose.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/14.jpg

Triple H vs. Eugene...in Diamondvision!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/15.jpg

HHH: Dammit, Eugene! For the last time, you put your left hand in, then you shake it all about!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/16.jpg

HHH: I'm melting! Meeeeeeeelting! Oh, my beautiful wickedness...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/17.jpg

EDGE: ...and that's the last time I'll let Lita give me a foot massage.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/18.jpg

LITA: Oh, I do not make that face!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/19.jpg

CHRIS: Tyson! I'm...not...the one...with...back problems!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/20.jpg

TYSON: "...and insert Tab U into Slot V." Wait... How come my Invisible Crucifix doesn't look like the one on the box?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/21.jpg

Guess who's got a little Captain in him.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/22.jpg

JBL: There ya go.
VINCE: Thanks, John.
JBL: No. Thank you.
VINCE: Have fun in your "match" with Eddie.
(Maniacal laughter)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/23.jpg

REF: Um... Christy? Could you wait until after the contest to...enjoy Shelton's company?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/24.jpg

Upon learning that the RAW Diva Search had been extended another week, wrestling fans committed the largest group projectile vomiting the world has ever seen.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/25.jpg

RANDY: (thinking) ...from monkeys? Damn. Evolution is a mystery.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/26.jpg

KANE: Oh, thanks, man. That mosquito bite has been driving me nuts all day!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/27.jpg

HHH: Ha ha! Got your blood!
ORTON: Got...your title!
HHH: :mad:

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/28.jpg

This is Randy. Randy just got a big boost of confidence...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/29.jpg

The answer to the question: "What is the opposite of the Golden Box of Buried Gimmicks?"

PorkSoda
09-07-2004, 08:38 PM
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/01.jpg

Bischoff: Im sorry to inform you all that Hungry Hungry Hunter got a little viscious at a backstage meeting and took two big chunks out of the Intercontinental title. Guess half of our Intercontinental base belong to him now...literally.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/04.jpg

Rhyno's "I Have A Hot Potato" gimmick didnt get over too well.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/08.jpg

This was the second slipup Nidia did in one night, first her chest in the ring with Trish and now she pulled out the silly string on Trish instead of the Cherry Coke.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/10.jpg

Referee: You are the weakest link, goodbye!
Victoria: *In tears* Oh! I just want to thank my fans before I go. Thank you for letting me come onto your show and thank you for staying behind me. I mean even though I didnt win *Sob* I still got to capture your hearts and I just want to read a passage fr...*Knocked out cold*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/11.jpg

(Offscreen)
"AHHHHH! CRAAAAH! *Crash* *Smash* AHHHH! *Crash. Bang. Snap.* ERRR! *THUD!* MAAAH! *Thud! Crash! Smack!*
Triple H: I dont think Edge is taking it too well now that you stripped him of the title.
Eric: Nah, thats just Heidenreich throwing a hissy fit.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/18.jpg

Kane: Did you wash the floor?
Lita: Yes.
Kane: Is it dry?
Lita: Yes.
*Second later a crash is heard outside the door*
Edge: AHHH FUCKING FLOOR IS WET!
Lita: ....guess not.

Savio
09-07-2004, 08:54 PM
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/28.jpg
Orton: Go on Sean! Run!
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/09.jpg
Nidia shows off her new move...The Gas chamber!
Trish: what did you eat!?
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/03.jpg
Ref: For the last time, The popcorn stand is over there!

Gone Mad
09-07-2004, 10:08 PM
Didn't read any so sorry if similar.. CAPTIONS!!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/01.jpg
Bischoff: Hmmm.. coconut-flavored!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/02.jpg
Tomko: STARRRSS!

Xtian: Damn you, T-Virus!!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/04.jpg
...And Jack Black as Rhyno.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/05.jpg
Ref: I said Simon says! Simon says, Grenier!

Grenier: ....

Ref: Simon says 'Y', Damn it!

Benoit (thinking): ...what am I doing here???!!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/07.jpg
Lita botches silence.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/08.jpg
Nidia: GOT YOUR NOSE!

***fatality***

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/11.jpg
HHH: Aurora boriealus? In this hour of the day,in this part of the country, directly planted in your office?..

Bishoff: Um..yes..

HHH: May I see it???

Bishoff: ... um,..ok?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/12.jpg
TONIGHT! STEEL CAGE MATCH: STEVIE RICHARDS VS. MAX MINI! ONLY ON VELOCITY!!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/13.jpg
O'Haire: Give me your gimmick and I'll let you live! Um... Nevermind!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/16.jpg
"FREEEEDOOOOOMMM!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/20.jpg
RKO!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/21.jpg
Xtian: ..Now where did I park??

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/22.jpg
JBL + this = Ted Dibiase.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/24.jpg
Amy stars in the WWE version of "Carrie" ...poor Amy btw..

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/26.jpg
Worst. Dragon Punch. Ever!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/27.jpg
HHH: HAHA ! Puppy thinks he's people!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/28.jpg
RKO: Don't even think about doing another O'Haire joke!

gonMad: DAMN!

OR
And now a scene from "The Brown Bunny" interrupted by HHH ...Goodnight,Everybody!

.44 Magdalene
09-07-2004, 10:29 PM
http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/27.jpg
HHH shows Orton where he's going after he drops the title.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/21.jpg
Christian, Tomko and Ladder McLadderington would form a deadly alliance.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/20.jpg
Jericho unleashes the deadly Hong Kong Noogie.

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We hAvE yOuR mOtHeR dOwN HeRe.

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Nidia reveals her new "Fist of the North Star" gimmick.

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HE'S A MANIAC, BAHGAWD. A MANIAC!

El Santo
09-07-2004, 10:59 PM
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HHH: Aurora boriealus? In this hour of the day,in this part of the country, directly planted in your office?..

Bishoff: Um..yes..

HHH: May I see it???

Bishoff: ... um,..ok?


Muhahahah! Excellent. :)

Krypton Knight
09-07-2004, 11:05 PM
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HADOKEN!!!

El Santo
09-08-2004, 01:53 AM
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Bischoff: "And now, introducing your new ... WWE ... Inter-CON-tinental Champion ... this Inanimate Velvet Chair!"

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The ref tried to warn poor Chris Benoit, but it was too late. The man was now knee deep in midcard hell.

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You know, some people shouldn't even try biting into a habanero pepper.

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At the slightest call of danger, the Super Friends springs into action!

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Lita gives Trish a tour of Jeff Hardy's "medicine cabinet".

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Up next on Celebrity Deathmatch: Britney Spears vs. Janet Jackson!

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HHH tried to listen, but he kept getting distracted by the bit of spinach stuck in Bischoff's hair.

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Fans knew they were in for one heck of a steel cage match when the mystery challenger turned out to be none other than ... the Almighty God!

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Eugene proves that no one else in the WWE could do a more hardcore headstand.

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"I'm ... BATMAN!"

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Lita: "Dammit, Glen! Don't give me those puppy-dog eyes! We're not getting that plasma screen TV and that's FINAL!"

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Christian: "I am the monarch of the sea, the ruler of the Queen's Navy..."

Corkscrewed
09-08-2004, 03:34 AM
Wow, looks like the ol' masters have shown up for this September edition! :D

Funky Fly
09-08-2004, 03:45 AM
Wow, looks like the ol' masters have shown up for this September edition! :D
How coincidental, I returned to captioning as well. :lol:

Blue Demon
09-08-2004, 10:37 AM
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Hey....who's that guy with Trish???

Mayo
09-09-2004, 12:16 AM
Seems like it's been forever since I've done these. Ah well, better late than never I guess.


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Eric: After seeing Edge in bed with Steph, Hunter lost control and broke Edge's foot. Because of their respective actions, Edge got a three month suspension after being cleared to wrestle, while Hunter will now be crowned new Intercontinental Champion. And fans, don't bother pinching yourself because this isn't a dream. :nono:

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Christian loved Disturbed's music so much that he had to give props to his man David Dreiman even during a match.

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Batista: What are you guys looking at?
Benoit: Why the hell does your left foot look so cartoonish?
Batista: :eek:

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Rhyno couldn't resist dancing to 'Kung Fu Fighting' when it blasted over the P.A. system; Flair had just woken up because of the music, and was about to tell those damn kids to turn down the stereo.

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Benoit: Oh Tommy, I can't believe we've finally met again! It must have been 20 years!
Ref: Billy, its so great to see you! Gimme a big hug, you big oaf!
Conway: Uh guys, match...

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Ref: Well to tell you the truth Rob, they say that you're only this big.
Rob: Who the hell is spreading these lies???
Ref: Actually, it was your partner.
Rob: WHAT? No, we've never slept together! He's a liar, I swear!
Ref: Err....

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Trish tried her best to stifle a laugh after asking Lita what 5 X 4 was about 20 minutes ago.

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The new T-5000 was even more deadly with it's drill bit hands.

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The Ref was busy calling for a Steveweiser to douse Trish's shirt with, only to be knocked out by the can because he couldn't stop staring at her chest.

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In the finals of the Mortal Kombat tournament, Sonya Blade had stolen Johnny Cage's Shadow Kick as her fatality.

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HHH: Say Iron Maiden sucks again, and you'll be drinking your food through a straw.
Eric: The Iron skillet I got last week that was Maiden Taiwan really sucks.
HHH: You're testing my patience, little man.

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Trips had his latest diabolical scheme yet: adding side panels to the glass ceiling.

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Eugene: Dude, how many beers did I have last night?
Ref: Enough so that you are hanging only by your underwear, and all the blood rushing to your head is finally starting to leak out.
Eugene: Whoa, cool man.

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Hunter was always a bit rougher on the new inmates, and the Ref found his dominance to be such a turn on.

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HHH shocked Smarks everywhere when he executed a flawless tornado DDT from the top rope.

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The Smarks were later brought back to reality when Hunter had himself shrunken and held down the entire cruiserweight division.

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Edge's new Bitchy Little Stalker shirt caused further speculation for an E&C reunion.

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Kane: Even though we're married, I still demand you to suck on the crispy critter before sex.
Lita: I prefer it, otherwise my ear gets all dry afterwards.
Kane: :wtf:

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WWE wrestler Chris Jericho was the victim of an Al Queda attack, and the alleged motive is that he was announced from being from New York.

A week later, Vincent K. McMahon was found dead in his hotel room. Pissed off Canadian wrestling fans are the main suspects. More to come on this story as it develops.

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Tomko probably regrets drinking all of those bottles of Snapple before the match.

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Even after using visual aids, Christian still couldn't explain the concept of holding someone down to Tomko.

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Little did the contestants know that the winner of the Diva Search would only get $1428. This is why they always count all of the cash in mafia movies rather than just seeing the top $100 bills.

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After some fake tanning and dyeing her hair, Sable was back to screw Vince out of some more money.

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HHH: So which of you hilarious bitches built a hog pen in my front yard this morning?

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The result of selecting 'generic champion' in the new Smackdown vs. Raw game.

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The Ref couldn't believe Randy's strength as he easily lifted up Kane in his daily workout routine.

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Hunter had to teach Randy a lesson after he refused to 'please' the star of Raw; you can't get any worse than being locked up with a big black guy named Tiny for a week.

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Randy: Haha, those idiots. They thought that Nick Lechay was me all along :lol:

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Kane wasn't gonna let his gay orgy fantasy fall through, so he quickly grabbed Orton back into the Chamber of Sodomy.

FourFifty
09-11-2004, 10:36 PM
<font color=white>After a few weeks without my sense of “humor” I am back, again. Anywho, yeah, didn’t read them yet, so I’m sorry if I stole jokes or gags.

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Okay, we all know that very few titles have legitimate credibility left, but there is no reason for Eric to publicly take a leek on it.

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<b>Xtian:</b> TONKO! HELP ME OUTTA HERE!!!
<b>Tonko:</b> Why, you’re in the ring with a well rounded wrestler who has a lot of charisma.
<b>Xtian:</b> He’s also a member of The Midcard Hell Club!

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Everyone backed away from Tajiri when he asked if everyone was going to participate in this years “erection.”

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It’s one thing to glue Ric Flair to the mat, but to eat crazy glue, well that’s just crazy!

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<b>Benoit:</b> And this is why Quebec should not become it’s own country, biznich!

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<b>Bret Hart:</b>…………………move stealing fucker………………

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<b>Trish:</b> You know Lita, I’ve gotta hand it to ya… no angle is better than yours.
<b>Lita:</b> Hey! I know you’re being sarcastic!
<b>Trish:</b> No, Lita, literally, no angle is better than your angle.
<b>Lita:</b> Oh, that’s nice…. Say, what angle are you in?
<b>Trish:</b> Me? I’m in no angle.

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And after this tragic event, no wrestler was ever allowed to do the old “I got your nose” gag ever again.

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Ah, poor ref. He’s in the midst of a women’s title match, and yet he forgot the noose to hang himself with.

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Albeit Nidia was nimble enough to dodge the superkick, no one gets past the scent.

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<b>HHH:</b> Why are you grinning at me like that.
<b>Eric:</b> Ohhhhh… nooooooothing…. Heh heh heh…. By the way Trips, *giggle* have you seen your new shirt on Shopzone.com?

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Well of course they have to lower his cage from time to time. How else will people clean it?

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You’d attempt to piledrive yourself also if Vince explained his logic on why JBL got pushed to the main event and why Sean O’Haire doesn’t have a contract.

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<b>Eugene:</b> Tiger Driver! Go for it!
<b>Triple H:</b> …….what?

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NNNNNNOGIE!

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In order for Raw to fill its minimum Hunter requirement, Triple H came out and told one of his “The Fish Was This Big” stories.

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<b>Edge:</b> You know Rocky, you’re a lot bigger on television.

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<b>Kane:</b> Lita, I love you! Always have, always will…
<b>Lita:</b> I hate you! You’re the scum of the earth! I hope you rot in hell!
<b>Kane:</b> Damn it! This week was the week that you were going to slip out of character, and tell me you love me! You screwed up, screwing up!
<b>Lita:</b> Oh wow, I botched botching.

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Too bad Tonko couldn’t open up his bottle of vitamin c.

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This is not what anyone had dreamed of when they told Tonko to try to carry the match.

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<b>Xtian:</b> Hey, where’s Sean?

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The WWE’s newest contest: The “Get a quarter of a million dollars if you paid attention to the quarter of a million dollar diva contest!”

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It was a nice staring contest until she found out she was staring at a statue.

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The WWE reveals their next major motion picture project: Teen Girl Squad, The Motion Picture!

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<b>Ref:</b> You wanna tell him, Lillian?
<b>Lillian:</b> I don’t have the heart. He’s having too much fun.
<b>Ref:</b> Well he seriously thinks he’s a composer. He’s no longer playing composer.

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Worst. Wedgie. Ever.

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<b>Randy:</b> Why Hunter, why? Why did you lock me in mid card hell??

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Oh yeah, he’s gellin’!



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<b>HHH:</b> I’m still going over in the cage match, right?
<b>Eric:</b> Of course Hunter! Your next opponent doesn’t deserve to be in the same thing as you!
<i>"And for the main event, in a cage match, you’ll see The Almighty God VS The Crown Prince Of Darkness, Triple H!"</i>

Corkscrewed
09-12-2004, 01:18 AM
LMAO! Teen Girl Squad!!! :love:

Savio
09-12-2004, 01:30 AM
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This belt, is a homo.

FourFifty
09-12-2004, 01:34 AM
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<font color=white>And on this day Nidia lost her job as Trish's make up artist.

Savio
09-12-2004, 01:39 AM
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Lita botches "Red mist"


.....I smell a joke off.

Azriel
09-12-2004, 01:42 AM
Always go with a classic, huh Savior? :lol:

FourFifty
09-12-2004, 01:56 AM
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<font color=white>As punishment for spilling the evolution kool-aid, next week on Raw we'll see Nidia job to Funaki.

Savio
09-12-2004, 02:01 AM
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Trish found out the hard way not to say "Tacos suck" in front of Nidia.

FourFifty
09-12-2004, 01:17 PM
<font color=white><img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/07.jpg>
A few seconds later, Allan Keys called both of these ladies selfish hedonists, lost any hopes of winning the election in Illinois, and was then called a homo.

Savio
09-12-2004, 01:36 PM
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lita botches speaking

CosaNostra
09-12-2004, 01:56 PM
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The big HHH endorsement:
Huggies>Pampers

Or

Father, Father, why has Thou forsaken Me?!? :'(

CosaNostra
09-12-2004, 02:03 PM
<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/18.jpg>

You know Lita, normally, a married couple can share a dental plan, but rest assured, we can save money by getting me to do the dental work, 'cause I luvs ya.

FourFifty
09-12-2004, 07:34 PM
<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/090604/images/07.jpg><font color=cyan>
<b>Lita:</b> Oh damn, it's you! I hate that "Hit Me Baby One More Time" song!
<b>Trish:</b> But I'm not Christna Agulira...