SmackDOWN Captions [9-16-2004]

[Corkscrewed]

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[Gouda]

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Someone ate part of my lunch!


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Big Show had a hard time deciding what to order in Smackdown's new segment: Cooking with Teddy.

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Yeah that's right. I ate some of your lunch. It was nasty though.


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John Cena took up a new hobby. Ring surfing.

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The US title, tired of all the crap it's been put through over the years took out it's frustration and shocked the world when it gave a One Sided Beat Down to both John Cena and Booker T.


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What you can't see down below: Heidenriech strikes again!


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Look look! Two on each hand and then.... *bangs fists together* Now they're all on the same one! Huk huk huk...

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Viscera jumped for joy at actually getting rehired.

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After losing his arm in an unfortunate smelting accident, JBL decided to graft the WWE title to it.

Yes. This is my first attempt at captions so don't blame me if they appear inferior.

[Azriel]

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Big Show couldn't help but wonder if he remembered to turn the gas off back home.

[FourFifty]

<font color=white>Well, I guess I should say “didn’t read them yet” but no one has done them yet from when I started.

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And then he was reminded that he still sucks.

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<b>Teddy:</b> Is everything in order for you to re-sign to SmackDown, Mr. Show?
<b>Show:</b> Well, so far everything is decent… however I would like 4 more meals a day.

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The Big Show turns heel when he refuses to stand for Strongbadia’s national anthem.

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<b>Luther:</b> Uh, Kurt, they stopped showing Mr. Wizard years ago.
<b>Kurt:</b> Awwwwwww phoey! :(

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Oh, that wacky gravity!

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The easiest way to pin Booker T is to get atop the glass ceiling, and lower it on him.

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These two men just found out that the belts were just foil covered chocolate.

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Less than a second earlier John Cena felt the wrath of Steven Richards ass darts.

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“So Lita was walking around backstage doing this saying how excited she was for her Richard Nixon costume she bought for Halloween…”

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<b>Gangrel:</b> Can I have a job?
<b>Vince:</b> ……………………I guess so…………
<b>Gangrel:</b> SWEEEEEET!!!!

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<b>Vicera:</b> And now it’s time for my big spl-- *THUD* What the heck was that!??!
<b>JBL:</b> Glass ceiling.

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And now we can’t make fun or Randy Orton for botching the RKO anymore since Mark’s shot at it.

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JBL knew that it was a good investment when he put money into Tech-neek-cali when he got his Mega Man arm attachment.

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As punishment for getting a pop that can rival Triple H’s entrance, The Big Show was forced to watch “The Best Of The Big Show.”

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<b>Gangrel:</b> That’s the LAST time you’re eating Mexican right before we hit the ring!!!!

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“He did WHAT to Cole, on TV!?!??!”

[Corkscrewed]

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Not even the Big Show could prevent being overcome by the valiant efforts of Lil' Brudder.

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Big Show: "Sweet! I get to bury Eddie, Kurt, JBL, AND The Undertaker in five minute squash matches???"
Long: "WHOOPS! Sorry playa, I accidentally mixed Hunter's contract with yours. May bad."

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"And with your help, Andre, I will finally be able to defeat that wretched Superman once and for all!!!"

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Kurt Angle: Olympic Gold Medalist, World Class Athlete, and Incredible Heidenreich Hissyfit Impressionist.

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Cena's new Booker Bonnet was just a bit sideheavy...

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Booker had unfortunately wiped out, but Cena managed to pull off an unbelievable kick flip to win the first-ever WWE X Games.

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Booker T: "My chocolate!"
Cena: "MY chocolate!!"
Booker T: "MY CHOCOLATE!!!"
Cena: "Hey, nice thighs..." :naughty:
Booker T: :wft: "Okay... your chocolate..."

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Cena may have won the match, but Booker T had the last laugh when he unleashed Mr. Chompy Chompy Pee Pee.

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Cena: "Wait, there are now only HOW many WWE fans left???"

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Gangrel: "Oh shit, they hired VISCERA?! AHHHHHHHH!!!"

OR

Sadly, it took another hour forty five minutes for Viscera to reach the point that Gangrel was at in this picture.

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JBL finally earned some main event credibility when he revealed the only way to hold Taker down: drop Visceras on him.

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Shoulda used Old Spice.

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Sick and tired of JBL still holding the belt while ruining the product, the universe finally imploded, leaving JBL alone and oblivious within the vast expanses of nothingness.

[Corkscrewed]

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Show: "What the... WHERE THE HELL IS MY COMPLEMENTARY MOOSE????"

[Corkscrewed]

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*a few seconds before*
Viscera: "..................... UH OH!"
Gangrel: "Oh shit...literally..." *runs for his life*

[Gone Mad]

As dull as a Lita promo.. My caps!

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Show did not ever want to be interrupted while watching his favorite show, "The O.C".

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JR: BAWGAWD HEPAYINGHISALOMONYPAYMENTS STUNNERAUSTINBLUECHIPPER!

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Angle: Stevie.. I know we have the same desires and such... so I wrote you this poem..

Luther: Um..Kurt? He isn't really there. There is no invis.. **tomahawk chop'd from Invisible Tatanka!!**

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Angle: I'll never be that cool...Carlito Caribbean..

Luther: ..I was better the first time when he was called Razor Ramon.

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Cena: Shit,is that a mogwai?! ..Out my way,foo!

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Cena, master of the mid-air Spinaroonie!

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insert HGA joke here.

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Cena: SHAKABRAH! I'll 'Crush' your head like a COCONUT!

Ref: YEAH! ..what??

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Cena: YO, They look like Bunny-foofoo and some shit! Run away, run away!

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Gangrel: (thinking) ...they think they know me..they think they know me..

Viscera: ..Hmm.. Where we REALLY on a mission..or was it a journey...??

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Gangrel (thinking): ...stealing your boots... you think you know me...

JBL: No, Mabel! She's pregnant!

Viscera: MOGWAI!!

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Bradshaw showing off his new yet horribly named move, the White power from Hell.

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JBL: RANDOM PAC-MAN! BAKA-BAKA- BAKA!!

end..god, those were horrible...

[Corkscrewed]

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This potential heat-gaining segment was ruined when half the participants slipped on Palumbo's banana peel traps.

[Corkscrewed]

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JBL was so pleased now that he had finally found a human shield... and WHAT A shield!

[Xero]

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Show: ... Bambi's gonna be alright, right?

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Show: What's this "take out Randy Orton" clause here?
Teddy: Ya know, playa... It's just that if you go to RAW and take away all of Randy Orton's credibility, you get a title shot!
Show: HOT DOG!... **Signs contract** You know, I really COULD go for a hot dog right about now...

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Kurt: THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! Jeff Hardy clones are popping up everywhere! But when you're 500 pounds, YOU DONT NEED TO DRAW ON YOURSELF!
Show: But, this is a tattoo...
Kurt: Oh...

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Kurt: Where's my My Little Pony!? Why does RANDY get one from Vince and all I get is a cheap rip off from the dollar store!? :(

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Que music: I believe I can fly... I believe I can touch the sky...

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Cena: (Pretends to slip) WHOOP! I hope this fist doesnt hit your face Booker!

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Stevie Richards plays grab ass with his sister and Cena and Booker... Without telling them...

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Cena: TOUCH OF DEATH! WAAAAAAAARRRAAAA!

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Cena: You know, it just doesnt look right without all 5 fingers... I gotta win that title 3 more times after I win it at No Mercy...

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The Gangrel string puppet was on sale... And Viscera wanted one!

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Vis: OH GOD OH GOD WHAT'S HAPPENING!?
JBL: Oh no... The Undertaker has... **GASP**
Gangrel: Oh please, NOOOO!! **Kneels down**
Undertaker finally uses his paranormal powers to save himself, and please himself at the same time!

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Undertaker lost all his credibility when JBL pie faced him and pinned him in a retirement match...

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I'M KING OF THE... Is that you, Stevie!? :naughty:

[Transplant]

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If you were shown footage of you eating 5 whole cows and a mac truck, you'd cry too.

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Show: ...and I, Big Show, promise that will never again I....do I have to carry on?
Teddy: Yes.
Show: eat 4000 pounds of Seafood Sam's squid leg, even if it is an All-You-Can-Eat buffet or Vince McMahon is paying. I also apologize for eating other patrons plates, as it was uncalled for and the china gave me terrible indigestion.
Teddy: Thank You.

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Angle: I have already stated that I was hunting with a friend when I tripped, and my mouth landed onto the horses fallous, which, being mating season, was erect.

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This was always the worst part in The Lion King

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101 Uses for Booker T
#77: Dumbell

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Cena: Where the heck did his head go?

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X-Treme Thumb War

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John Cena still drinks his invisible tea with his pinkies out?

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Cena: Do what?
Righty: Kill Duncan...kill, Kill, KILL!!
Cena: Kill Duncan? Duncan who?
Lefty: You must kill the king....kill, Kill, KILL!!
Cena: The King? What are you talking about?
Righty: Um...are we in the 1890's?
Cena: Um...no
Lefty: Dammit, I told you we shouldnt have let Lita give us directions!

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Gangrel: Blue....TWIZZLERRRRRR :drool:

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Doesnt Vince know that 80% of WWE fans are AGAINST bondage pornography?

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Even JBL wasnt sure of how many fingers he hit Taker with.

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SAFE!!

[PorkSoda]

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Show: No! First Triple H on Raw and now Ken on Jeapordy?

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Show: Mar...Mary Swanson. *Looks at Teddy* SWANSON! *Back at paper* will...hoost....
Teddy: Host.
Show: Oh, host annooel...
Teddy: Annuel.
Show: Anooel...ann-uh-el...
Teddy: Annuel!
Show: Annuel meeting of..ta-he..ta-ha...ta-hee...
Teddy: The!
Show: Oh. The..interma...inta...errr...
Teddy: Yeah, its a big one.

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Kurt: Contestants ready?
Show: Ready.
Luther: Ready.
Kurt: ok, Top three answers are on the board. Name someone who is fat, out of shape and can't wrestle?
Luther: *Buzzes in* Big Show!
Kurt Angle: Show me Big Show! *Board comes up with number one, two, and three answer*

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Viscera: PAPA!!!!!!!!!!!

[Blue Demon]

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Gangrel: God, I can't believe they sent me out here with that fat piece of Crap......Oh shit, he's right behind me.

[Innovator]

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JBL was so pleased now that he had finally found a human shield... and WHAT A shield!
....you...son...of...a....bitch

[Corkscrewed]

Consider it flattery ya know. ;)

[V]

FUCK

i miss the old captions, imagine how many funny heidenreich/cole captions there woudl be :(

[Gouda]

FUCK

i miss the old captions, imagine how many funny heidenreich/cole captions there woudl be :(

They have a video up on WWE.com....

If someone really wanted to they could get a screencap.

Myself, I have bandwith problems which force me to be highly conservative. :-\

[Gouda]

Small picture from the WWE.com main page.

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Cole: "Please... I'm not like Lita..."

[Savio]

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Visera: Why the hell is Meat Loaf my parnter?
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"We hacked the forum!"