Raw Captions 9/21

[Apprentice]

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[FourFifty]

<font color=cyan><img src=http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_6.jpg>
"You, on the other side of the sceen, you worthless drunk bastard! You're a homo!"

[FourFifty]

<font color=cyan>Well, I'm sdurn, so my bro is gonna take a shot. Feel free to rep me anyways... HAppy 21st b=day to me!
<img src=http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_6.jpg>
Yes, I see you staring at the computer monitor. No. I'm not gonna make the 'pull my finger' joke. Only smiling ******s would think of that that... YOU SMILED, DIDN'T YOU?!

[FourFifty]

<fonr color=cyan> <img src=http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_5.jpg> The latest billboard for Nevada's Moonlight Bunny Ranch, now with the limited 2 for 1 deal!

[FourFifty]

<img src=http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_3.jpg>

<font color=cyan> What do you mean this was all a reality TV show where they took a no talent bitch & made her a wrestling manager?!

[FourFifty]

<img src=http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_7.jpg>

Dana Carvey, in his old "Wayne's World" Costume, was banned from sitting with the audience.

[FourFifty]

<img src=http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_4.jpg>

"For the last time, that was my god damned Oreo and I'm gonna get back one way or the other!"

[FourFifty]

<img src=http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_8.jpg>

I swear... Some people will do ANYTHING to see what an out of work mall santa does in his off time... And you! You with the arms up! You're a homo!

[FourFifty]

<img src=http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_2.jpg>

For a moment in time, Vince McMahon realized that his product is now utter crap as he sunk to new lows.

[FourFifty]

<img src=http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_1.jpg>

McMahon: Hey, I wrote down the answers to today's math test on my hand. Wanna see?

Bischoff: But that's wrong!

McMahon: And half the crap you pulled in WCW wasn't?

Bischoff:.... Lemme see those answers.

[Evolution]

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Vince: "Not only do you have to pull my finger, Eric, but you have to guess which one. But if you pull the wrong one, YOU'RE (YOU@RE) FIRED!"
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Vince thinking: "Just cause Triple H does this doesn't mean everyone can!"

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Diva trying to gain heat: "Cameraman Joe, I am your father!"

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Xtian: Shawn, oh my God! First Mick, now you?! Richards must be stopped!"

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The Censors HATED Austin flipping the bird. They didn't realise Victoria was using the English equivalent.

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My God Hogan looks old!

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Maven: "Give Benoit back his title or more important Superstars will float off into space!"

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Orton: "GOT YOUR F**KING NOSE!"

[Impact!]

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what steiner will look like when he's older

[Xero]

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Vince: See this logo? It's the WWE logo... You're from WCW... GET THE FUCK OUTA HERE!
Eric: But... WCW's gone... You bought it out!
Vince: Oh... Well... GET YOUR ASS TO TNA AND STAY THERE!

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Vince (Thinking): God I hope that's a screwdriver going into my hip...

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Christy was worse than Lita... She couldnt even pull off the Home Alone scream correctly... :nono:

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Christian: Ahh yes, you have a cavity...
HBK: Ahh yoo sure yoo know wat yoo doin?
Christian: Hey, if Kane can pull it off, anyone can! Now where are those plyers?

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Victoria and Stacy got into RVD's pot again...
Victoria: Peace dooood!
Stacy: Hehehehehe! I see a big pink elephant! Oh wait, that's Triple H... HAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Hogan: **Taps on glass** Shit, now there's a glass WALL!? And why am I on THIS side!? Oh, hey Hunter... **Looks on other side**

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The Matrix is all around us... But Maven has yet to master it, since he broke his neck when the world didnt slow down...

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Randy: YOU BASTARD! YOU TOOK MY LITTLE PONY! RIC I'M GONNA KILL YOU!
Ric: Oh FUCK! **Rolls out of the ring** HOLD HIM HUNTER!
Hunter: Got him! Hehe, it's fun holding people back... I should do this more often!

[Savio]

I wish they had lita in the hospital bed so I could put lita botches life.

[Gouda]

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Y-You want me to do what with my top?

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I'll have one RKO please.

More later.

[Drakul]

I wish they had lita in the hospital bed so I could put lita botches life.
http://www.hugeinternetsuperstars.com/images/articles/20040920_7_321/lita.jpg

[Gone Mad]

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Vince: About your inside shirt...

Eric: Yes... I WILL brake for fat chicks. You happy now?!

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When Don Eugene tells you to jump in his bouncing house office, you jump.

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Christi (breathing heavily): ..Obi-Wan never told you what happen to your father...

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Xtian: See.. when you do this...He does look like Mel Gibson!

HBK: Free...dom...

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Vicky/Stacy: HAHA! RANDOM BUNNIES!!

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"You better not be putting me on film... HOLLER IF YA HEAR ME!"

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M.Bison: Fucker took my move! Damn you, Walkin' Tall!

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Flair: ..he DOES look like Nick LaChey!

Worst. Captions I've ever done. Ever.

[Gone Mad]

ENCORE!

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Lita botches the act of sleep.

Kane: IDIOT! GOSH!

[Xero]

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Kane (Under his breath): Thank fucking God this will be over in a few weeks...
Lita (Thinking): So THIS is what it's like to stare at a ceiling fixture... Interesting...

[FourFifty]

<font color=cyan>And now a sober Always450 will take his shot….. well, I had too many of them last night…. B’eh, you know what I mean. Didn’t read them yet, sorry if I stole anyone’s jokes, and just remember- That’s not a bad thing. It’s a good thing!

<img src=http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_1.jpg>
<b>Eric:</b> No Vince, I’m NOT going to shake your hand. You have a buzzer on it.
<b>Vince:</b> Says who?
<b>Eric:</b> It’s right there, in the palm of your hand.
<b>Vince</b> Is that so? How do you know?
<b>Eric:</b> It’s freakin’ right there in your hand!!!!!! I can see it!!!!!
<b>Vince:</b> Shake it, or you’ll job to Funaki.

<img src=http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_2.jpg>
“RRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!”

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<b>JR:</b> BAHGAWDWASN’TRIGGEDSWERVEIHAVENOLEGITTALENTSORRYFORWASTINGYOURTIMENOSELLSTUNNERBROKEHERINHALF!!!!

<img src=http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_4.jpg>
There was no way Xtian would believe that HBK was coming to midcard hell, but he couldn’t find the seam in the mask either.

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The sad thing is it took two of them to tell us how many credible champions there are right now.

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The WWE’s virtual “pull my finger” program doesn’t work on my computer. It said I need Windows 95 or better, so I installed linux.

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Not satisfied with merely raising the roof, Maven decides to raise the wall also.

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<b>Ric:</b> Keep that bastard away from me!
<b>HHH:</b> I’m trying, Naich, I’m trying!
<b>RKO:</b> YOU SONOFA BITCH! VINCE SCREWED BRET!!!!!

<img src=http://www.hugeinternetsuperstars.com/images/articles/20040920_7_321/lita.jpg>
<b>Lita:</b> Ohmigod, Kane, you really loved me, didn’t you? You really wanted to start a family, and now because our baby was lost, you’re crying….
<b>Kane:</b> Thank you, *sniff*God! This angle is over! *Sob* This angle is over! THANK YOU GOD!!!! *sniff*

[Savio]

http://www.hugeinternetsuperstars.com/images/articles/20040920_7_321/lita.jpg
lita botches life

[Azriel]

Guys, to be a little fair to Lita, I really don't think she was supposed to be sleeping :lol:

Great stuff though

[parkmania]

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Bischoff : Do you HAVE to spit in your hand to make a deal???

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NOW Vince remembered why he hadn't been on TV for a while...

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Not realizing that he was on Smackdown!, Christy starts auditioning to be John Cena's valet with her human beatbox schtick.

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The writers had to drug HBK in order to have someone to help out with Christian's new homosexual gimmick.

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Victoria: ... and Stacy REALLY started squirming when I put my second finger in..

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Graham: I'd buy THAT for a dollar! (rep for reference)

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Maven: STOP! HAMMER TIME!!
Sylain: Mysterio?

[Savio]

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When asked how many people liked the diva search

[Apprentice]

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Vince: Its okay Eric. I've had that same problem. I think you should try Cialis.
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Congratulations! You win the chance to be the next red-head to botch everything!
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Only YOU can prevent forest fires.
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It was Spider-man's worst nightmare. He was stuck in mid-card hell and he was wrestling in his underwear.

[Shaggy]

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Vince thinking to him self: This gives me a great idea. Eugene will become the first gay special person on Raw...maybe that will increase ratings.

<img src=http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_6.jpg>
Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

<img src=http://www.hugeinternetsuperstars.com/images/articles/20040920_7_321/lita.jpg>
Kane lifts his head: KAHN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Shaggy]

<font color=cyan>
<img src=http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_8.jpg>
<b>Ric:</b> Keep that bastard away from me!
<b>HHH:</b> I’m trying, Naich, I’m trying!
<b>RKO:</b> YOU SONOFA BITCH! VINCE SCREWED BRET!!!!!

<img src=http://www.hugeinternetsuperstars.com/images/articles/20040920_7_321/lita.jpg>
<b>Lita:</b> Ohmigod, Kane, you really loved me, didn’t you? You really wanted to start a family, and now because our baby was lost, you’re crying….
<b>Kane:</b> Thank you, *sniff*God! This angle is over! *Sob* This angle is over! THANK YOU GOD!!!! *sniff*

Those are my favorite two so far...expecially the first one.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Thriller]

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Vince show Eric how hairy his palm has gotten since the diva search started
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Eugene shows his appreciaton to Vince for not letting Carmella win the diva search

or

Eugene will do anything to avoid midcard hell
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Chrissy:What do you mean my breath smells like c***
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Christian does his best to revive HBK after he heard it have to wait at least a month for another HHH/HBK match
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Greatest mime act ever
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Orton jumps in the way to save HHH from the many assination attempts from TPWW members

[PorkSoda]

Anyone else not like the new caption layout?

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Eric: She sells shee shells by the sea shore...
Vince: No. She sells SEA shells by the SEA shore!
Eric: She shells sea shells by the shee shore...
Vince: (Irritated) No...
Eric: SHESELLSSHESHELLSBYTHESHEESHORE!
Vince: *Your fired voice* SEAAAAAAAAAAAA SHEEEEEEELLLLLLLS!

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Christy does her impression of Goldberg watching Jeapordy.

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I want YOU for Wolfenstein.

[CosaNostra]

http://www.hugeinternetsuperstars.com/images/articles/20040920_7_321/lita.jpg

Kane: Lita, oh WHY couldn't you share some of that fine crack with me?!? :(
Lita: ............................. :drool: :D

[Gouda]

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Vince: AND the official Stone Cutters underwear.

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Eugene: Purple Monkey Dishwasher.
Vince: WHAT?! They shall all pay for this!

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Christian: Dude I need more of your hair to finish striping my shirt.

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It whitens your teeth in only two uses!

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WWE's new division. Wire fighting.

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Randy: Do I make you Randy, baby? Get it? Randy? Get it?
Ric: Oh yeah.

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Kane: No! She's dead! I killed her! Not again!! Now HHH is going to have to have sex with HER too!

[Blue Demon]

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Vince: Down low...TOO SLOW!!

[El Santo]

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Vince: AND the official Stone Cutters underwear.

http://www.hugeinternetsuperstars.com/images/articles/20040920_7_321/lita.jpg
Kane: No! She's dead! I killed her! Not again!! Now HHH is going to have to have sex with HER too!

LOL! Great. :)

[Innovator]

http://www.hugeinternetsuperstars.com/images/articles/20040920_7_321/lita.jpg
Kane: God not again! I'm gonna be a virgin forever.....or am I?......

[Corkscrewed]

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It became apparent that Eric was losing it after he had to sneak a peak at his lines written on Vince's hand.

OR

Vince had already spit in the hand and was ready to shake, but Eric wasn't so sure he wanted to be bound by so strict a contract.

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Vince wasn't too pleased when he finally found himself on the receiving end of HGA.

OR

Having been shot in the cheek by an errant Ass Dart, Vince was in mortal danger. It was up to Eugene "Poison Sucker" Dinsmore to save the day!

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Unfortunately for Christy, she had no one to celebrate her Diva Search win with, as the entire audience had used the segment for one massive restroom break.

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Christian: "Hey look! I'm a puppeteer!"
*moves Michael's mouth up and down*
"'Look at me! I'm Shawn Michaels! Can you help me find my smile?'" Hahahaahahaha!!!"

OR

Christian's new Granny Cheeks Pincher gimmick was off to a roaring start.

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"Like, ohmygosh! We actually got TWO questions right on the alphabet test this time!!!!"

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This would prove to be the slowest Finger Poke of Doom in history, but nevertheless, 89 seconds later, the cameraman would be sprawled out on the ground grabbing his face.

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On this night, Maven proved his wrestling worthiness and showed up Brock Lesnar by drop kicking Conway AND catching the game-winning touchdown AT THE SAME TIME.

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The withdrawal symptoms were too much. Eventually, Orton had to return to "Daddy Hunter" and "get some lovin'."

[Mister Sinister]

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Randy: Oh Yes Hunter, Lick My Nipple Like That!
HHH: Oh Shit, I Throught You were Steph...Shit Who Turned The Camera on?

Sorry I know that sucked, I'm tired and I'm no where nearly as talented as you guys

[Corkscrewed]

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Lita: ...
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
Kane: "Dammit, I asked her if a widow's husband can marry his sister TWENTY MINUTES AGO!!!"

[Shadow]

[IMG]http://repository.wwe.com/galleries/raw/images/raw21_6.jpg

Graham: I'd buy THAT for a dollar! (rep for reference)



Robocop. Any of the Robocops really.

[tucsonspeed6]

http://www.hugeinternetsuperstars.com/images/articles/20040920_7_321/lita.jpg

And now, for your entertainment: Lita botching Hide and Go Seek.

Kane: ...Twenty-Eight!......Twenty Nine!.....Thirty! Ready or not, here I come!

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Vince: So if my microphone is the "Bad Ass" microphone, we'll just lable this other microphone the "Homo" microphone. That means anyone holding this microphone...


Bischoff (thinking): SHIT! Why do I always grab the wrong microphone?

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Of course Victoria was going to rub it in... The first time she turned a girl into a lesbian she was a rookie. Now she had become a pro.

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Maven: Hey, stop moving around down there! I think I've found the glass ceiling!

Sylvan: Stupid Rookie....

[FourFifty]

http://www.hugeinternetsuperstars.com/images/articles/20040920_7_321/lita.jpg

And now, for your entertainment: Lita botching Hide and Go Seek.

Kane: ...Twenty-Eight!......Twenty Nine!.....Thirty! Ready or not, here I come!


<font color=cyan>LMAO!!!!!!!!!! Awesome!!!!!!!

[Dark Kane]

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Vince: "Who would you rather vote for in the upcoming election...Bush or Kerry..."
Bischoff: "I thought this was supposed to be about wrestling...and you called me out for this?" :wtf:
Vince: "Just answer the simple question..."
Bischoff: "Ok then, Bush."
Vince: "Then if you're voting for Bush, I'm voting for Kerry."

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Lawler: "Does Eugene have a fetish for older men? Aaaaahhhh..."
J.R.: "Don't give Eugene any ideas...we're old too you know?"

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Redhead girl: "OH MY GOD I WON THE DIVA SEARCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
*camera man thinking to himself* ("I quit the WWE")

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Victoria: "There is two of us standing here, what would you like us to do first?"

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"Dubya is going down!!!"