Smackdown Captions 10/28

[Apprentice]

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[Apprentice]

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Tough Enough contestants: Wow! Its Al Snow! In a wrestling ring! Take a picture you guys cuz this only happens like once a year!
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Ref: Sorry we had to do this Nunzio but me and Chavo don't like it when you make fun of balding men.
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Orlando: You're right! I woulda saved a ton of money by switching to Geiko!
JBL: Plus that gecko is really cool.
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Big Show: I'll pretend to be Steve Austin and you pretend to be a woman being hit by Steve Austin

[Azriel]

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Torrie was a bit confused as she thought she was trying out for that new porno Pecker Pan

[The Fugitive]

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EDDIE: Aren't you the most adorable thing!!! And you've grown up so much since I've last seen you, Kurt! Good golly, it only feels like yesterday....

[Savio]

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Backstage guy: So JBL who do you want to win?
JBL: I don't care there both black

[Gerard]

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Take a good look ladies and gentlemen, never again will you see a wwe ring filled with 1700lbs of talentless shit (at least not untill viscera makes another half assed comeback).

[V]

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Eddie: there's a spark on your shirt!
Kurt: ooh! get it off, get it off!

[Xero]

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Mick Foley and Josh Mathews vs. The Real World cast, this week on RAW!
Vince: This'll bring in those ratings!

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Vince's "WWE Puppet Pals" show didn't go over too well...

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Nunzio: YEAH! THIS IS MY STRETCH ARMSTRONG!

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Sweet Jesus Bret is ripped!

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Kurt: I LOVE playing with little boys!
Rey: Yes... I see that... OH! That's a sensitive area, not so hard :(

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Kevin Nash (At home): Zzzzap!
Eddie: OH MY LEG! I THINK MY QUAD IS TORN!
Triple H (With Nash): ... And so it begins...

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Dawn: I have 3! Do I have 4? 4! Do I have... 6!? Okay! I will now attempt to suck SIX at once!
Torrie: ... Shit...

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Seconds later, the arena is evacuated because of Dawn's fartastic move.

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Worst... Big Boot... Ever...
JR: BAHGAWDSWEETCHINMUSIC!

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Orlando: Shit, that's right! I left grandma at the airport!
JBL: It's okay Orlando, I had my homies pick her up...
Orlando: Homies!?
(Somewhere in Mexico)
Guy with mask: AND STAY OUT!
Grandma Orlando: But... But...
**BOOT**

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Big Show went too far when he slapped a retard who WASN'T Eugene... Or Triple H...

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Nash: Zzzzap!
Kurt: OH MY LEG!

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Michael Jackson's debut in the WWE...

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JBL: YOU AIN'T GETTING THIS NI**BEEEEEEEEP**!
(Booker's jaw drops)
JBL: ... What?

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Seconds later, Booker finally cuts someone's head off with the "Scissors Kick"...

[Transplant]

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Al Snow: OK guys, heres your first inniciation task. Mr McMahon is in his office backstage, and your job is to make sure he is happy. Now, first off, Mr McMahon likes a flat white coffee. Also, when giving him head, he likes it when you use your tongue in a circular motion. Any questions?
Random guy: What happens if we dont give him head?
Al Snow: You get sent to OVW. Any more questions?

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Jimmy: a giraffe?
Chavo: NO!
Jimmy: Well what are you then?
Chavo: We're not playing cherades, dipshit, Rhyno go to Nunzio's back.
Jimmy:....are you an elephant?
Chavo: :mad:

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Well, what was Nunzio suppose to do when he saw his renewed OVW contract?

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Brian: Hey Kurt, you got a giant spider on your back.
Kurt: Where...AHHH! *spasms on the ground*

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They just dont do the Heimlich maneuver like they used to.

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Eddie: She isnt a woman, she's a man.
Kurt: just get off me.

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Dawn Marie and Torrie present: The Rise And Fall Of ECW.

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To try and wake the fans up, Dawn Marie and Torrie tried to do 10 second poses.

man, some of these pictures are crap.

[Innovator]

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Miz: Hey what's this challenge, bucking hosses?
Al: ...do you have a job?

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Nunzio could've picked a better time to salute his brothas

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Worst. Tango. Ever

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Angle: OW! WHAT THE...A CRUCIFIX?!
HHH: THATS WHAT YOU GET YOUR PLAYING POLITICS BITCH!

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Angle: SQUEAL LIKE A PIG BOY!

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Angle: So how's Operation "Cut my Lawn" going ese?
Eddie: Thats it!

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"Dawn Loves Torrie" ... excellent

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Dawn: STEVIE!

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Booker: What are you doing man?!
Orlando: I'm the token black guy in the ring
Booker: Sorry man, I already called it
Orlando: Ah it's cool man, these things happen, do your thing homes

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Orlando: Sir, Human Shield failed...

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I know Coughlin is a hardass, but sending Shockey to wrestle Big Show for being 4 minutes early to practice is too much

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Rey: Swing me daddy!
Kurt: Yes Child! Swing we shall!
*vince backstage*
Vince: Better call Dr. Jho...

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Tinkerbell finally grew big...and damn!

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JBL: This is the real belt!
Booker: KKK World Title...what the ...

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Jordan: OW MY BACK!
Booker: Whats wrong bro?
Jordan: JBL keeps mistaking me for a horse, he rode me for four hours...FOUR HOURS BOOKER!
Booker: Beats Vince thinking you're a .... DAMMIT!

[PorkSoda]

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Contestant 1: Whats the Frequency, Kenneth?
Contestant 2: Shirley, you dont know, do you?
Al Snow: I dont know about Kenneth...and don't call me Shirley.

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Ref: Power Puff, Chavo.
Chavo: What?
Nunzio: *Raises arm* POWER PUFF! Yeeaaaahhhyaahahah!

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Kurt Angle: AHHH I FEEL LIKE IM FLYING AHHHH
Ref: Woop....don't fall *Pushes Angle*
Angle: NOOOOO
*Falls into the cage*
O'Haire: Why, hello there.

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Angle: I am Terminata, I am heya to suck yo blood.
Eddie punches Angle down
Angle: noooo *System shut down*

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JBL: Go to lunch. Hey! Go to lunch. GO TO LUNCH! The chainsaw is here, everybody get the fuck outta here. GET OUTTA HERE, take your fucking clothes!

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Al Snow: Ahhh, it sure is good to have the Rockem Sockem Robots here at my party...
*Buzzes in*
Drew: YES!
*Crowd cheers*

[Corkscrewed]

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Tough Enough Guys: "Okay, we're here for the tryout?"
Al Snow: "All right. Now get on your knees and open your mouths. Vince will be down with his pants unzipped in a moment."

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Chavo still couldn't grasp the concept of the Heimlich Manuveur.

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The most excruciating submission move in the world still remains Nunzio's baritone falsetto.

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After this display, Kurt was quickly voted off of WWE Idol.

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Rey's childhood regression illness quickly reached serious heights when he tried to simulate his own birth with Kurt Angle.

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Eddie often found that his patented Granny Cheek/Nipple Pinch really helped reduce his backstage stress.

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In today's episode of Mixed Up Media Theater, Tinker Bell and Nurse Joy busy themselves with a singing contest until some random Trekkie beams in to break it up.

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Dawn: "AW!"
Torrie: "Stevie!"
Richards: "Still got it..." :naughty:

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Even with the bar set so high, Orlando still botched Wrestler Limbo.

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Orlando: "Ow! My head! It hurts!"
JBL: "Yeah... don't try pondering how long my title reign will last. It's not healthy."

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Show: "Paul Wright... BITCH!!"
:shifty:

OR

It wasn't the slap that knocked him senseless, it was Big Show's lack of deodorant.

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Rey lives up to his earlier promise of "riding Kurt Angle like a Steph McMahon."

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Peter Pan: "Fuck! Now I DO want to grow up!!"

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JBL: "Even if you beat me, your belt will just be made out of chocolate, so it matches your skin!!!"
Booker: "TELL ME, you did not SAY THAT!"

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New at WWEShopZone! The Booker/Orlando Funky Clock! It's designed funky for those who ARE funky! Yeah!






:shifty:

[Dark Kane]

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Al Snow: I am Al Snow dressed as Mick Foley for Halloween.
Tough Enough contestants all together: Have a nice day. :)

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Nunzio: I reach for the sky in hopes I can win.
Ref: Don't worry, just try your best.
Chavo: Shut up, or I'll get you to reach for the sky too.

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Ref: Reach for the sky like Nunzio did.
Chavo: I can't, he's holding me too tight.

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Kurt Angle: I admit, my medals are fake plastics.

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Angle: Do you have any hair under your mask?

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Eddie: Put a smile on your face, Kurt.
Kurt: :)
*kick in the balls by Eddie*

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Paris Hilton and Christina Aguilera as guest performers for the night.

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Dawn Marie: Take that you plastic boobed bitch.

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Jordan: Can't believe I lost again.
JBL: That's because I am the American hero, Kerry and Bush are not.

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Big Show: And that's for calling me a big giant bowling ball, punk!!!

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Torrie Wilson been signed to play Tinkerbell in the 10th remake of the Peter Pan film, this is her auditioning for the role.

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JBL: I am the reason you are not the champ, sucka.
Booker: Hey, stop stealing my catchphrase.

[Gone Mad]

I haven't read any captions so.. there.

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The Miz wasn't just gonna win the Tough Enough contest just because of his reality show status... It's because he's got the freakin' wolfman on his side!

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Chavo and Nunzio could never expect what would come next: GORE BY HEEL REF. !

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Chavo (talking to ref): 'Two words' ? 'A movie' ? Um, 'Booty Call' !

Nunzio: Booty Call? ..I thought it was 'Edward ScissorHands'...

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Angle: CAN'T I GET A GOLD STAR TOO, DAMN IT ?! (looks at chest again) ..oh, nevermind.

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Mysterio: AHH! Sweet PANCAKES!
Angle: Hey! I paid 10 bucks for this pony ride and I am going to get it!

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Kurt Angle = Death by Kano Spine-Rip fatality.

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Dawn Marie: Hey, how about that Acid Reflux ?
Torrie: Boo ...Urnnnss!

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Dawn Marie/ Torrie: RANDOM MS. PACMAN!
Torrie: .. Wait, why is this mouth movement so familiar?
Kidman: :shifty:

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Don't you hate it when you've got crap stuck to your boot?

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JBL: Gary, I am still not sure if I can trust you..
Orlando: Well.. Ok.. (unzips JBL's pants) I know what I have to do..
JBL: ugh.. NO! I was gonna say that I'll give you another chance by taking care of my kitty Mr. Pilsbury but.. yeah.. **runs away**

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Who will win this dance contest : Guy on left's Axl Rose 'Snake Dance' or Show's Macarena ?

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Angle was just not strong enough for Rey Mysterio... ON THE MOON!

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Torrie: Wi Wan't wind mwy mwand !
(Translation): I can't find my wand !

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JBL: AHAHA! I got what you LIKKEEE!!
Booker: AH! MUST.. EAT.. GIANT.. BEEF JERKY!

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They call them hosses for a reason, I guess.

End??.. yup.

[ColdwaVer]

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Al Snow: Unfortunately, due to Vince's interperetation of the Diva search ratings, you're all going to put on bikinis and roll around in jello.

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Chavo: So are you FBI guys faces or heels or what?
Nunzio: Who cares, I get more TV time than the Cruiserweight champion these days.

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Chavo unleashes the full force of his pits at the crowd.

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Ref: Dear God, there's a wire up his ass!

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Kurt: Damn, Rey, you can really sell.
Rey: Your cock is in my spine you asshole!

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Eddie: Let's see just who you really are Senor!

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I can't even caption this, the fact that we had to sit through it just insults me too much.

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Me: Booker T marks his territory.
Captioning officials: You've used that joke about ten times.
Me: Shut up!

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JBL: Dammit, Virgil, can't you do anything right?
Jordan: That's it, I quit.


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"Who's yo daddy?"
"Duh, I don't know..."
"Bastard!"

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Angle practices for the next Olympics "Cruiser Put" event.
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Who wants to toss this salad?

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JBL reaches a new low by flashing Booker T in an attempt to distract him

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Jordan had been taunting Booker about an inability to wipe. Booker gives him a chance to... erm, eat his words...

[Gerard]

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Surprisingly the 2 nigge.rs didn't shoot each other.


:eek:

[Aussie Skier]

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Contestants: "Yeah, you wouldnt believe it, 3 of us actually have pubic hairs! Well...2 of us, the guy on the end thought he did until he peed out of it"

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Kordaris: "Ah hah, your out Nunzio. Chavo said 'raise your hand', not 'Chavo said raise your hand'. Back to OVW"

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*Guy in crowd*
"Chavo, do you like, scary movies?"

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Kurt: "The champ is here!"
Brian: "Oh christ Kurt, you've already stolen WOOOOOO!, come up with your own material!"
Kurt: "Hey, I saw friggin, no ones ever said that before!"
Brian: :roll:

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Kurt thinks, *What Michael Jackson would pay to be in my position right now*

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*tickle tickle tickle*

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"I'm Idaho"
"Yes, yes you are"

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Torrie: "ahhh"
Dawn: "i though all the cyclones had stopped"

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OJ: "Ahhhh, no booker...it smells!! IT SMELLS!!!!"

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JBL: "mmmmm, your bald head, it looks like a big chocolate egg, has anyone ever said that to you Orlando?"
Orlando: :wtf:
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JBL: "YOU on the other hand! ewwwww"

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Now thats the scariest halloween custome i've ever seen! Mae young in a torrie wilson costume!

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Booker: "That's coming home with me! i want it bradshaw. i want....that hat!"

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JR: "BARGAWDSCISSORSKICK!BOOKERTISGONNAWINTHISOVERAUST....say. Austin looks different. BARGAWD,AUSTIN'SSHAVEDHISBEARD!"

[Transplant]

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..."You're right, I should have carried the 2"

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Rey would of had heaps of fun on his new Kart Angel, if only he knew where the steering wheel was.

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Dawn: I have something very important to say.. I have to go now, my planet needs me