Kane Knight
12-10-2004, 11:58 AM
With so many people predicting the downfall of NWA-TNA, it's not too early for the roster to start looking on to the future. Here's where they end up:
Raven: Gets a job as a clown at children's birthday parties, but loses it when his "terrordome" balloon animals start making kids cry.
Jeff Jarrett: Has been spotted wandering aimlessly, the title still over his shoulder.
Abyss: Starts writing children's books featuring other wrestlers. For some reason, nobody's surprised.
DDP: Begins a tour with Tony Robbins.
Monty Brown: Ends up as a transvestite stripper in Vegas. What, you expected a big game hunter?
A.J. Styles: fortunately, he is picked up by the WWE. Unfortunately, his career in the WWE is shorter than Drew Carrey's. On a related note, Bob Holly will be elligible for parole in 20 years.
Jeff Hardy: The Jeff Hardy 5 scores a huge hit with Kermit the Frog's "It's not easy being green." After an iconic climb to the top of the charts, Jeff commits suicide in his trailer in North Carolina. The suicide note reads "Itz b3ttr 2 bern out then 2 fayd aweh," Which is forever credited to him...
Kevin Nash and Scott Hall: They move to Massachusetts and finally make it legal.
Petey Williams: Fares better than A.J. in the WWE, but his finisher is considered too dangerous. At the WWE's insistence, his new finisher is the chop.
3LK: B.G. James now sells insurance. After being fired from multiple jobs for drug abuse, Ron Killings resorts to the only job that'll take him: NYC Subway driver. Konnan now lives in his mom's basement.
Dusty Rhodes: After Jim Ross' unfortunate suicide (after being rejected by Austin), Rhodes claims the principal announcer's role on Monday Night Raw. 6 people notice the difference. Most people are impressed that J.R. gets the names of moves right now.
Sonjay Dutt: Jobs to Spike Dudley in a Dark Match, is laughe doff the face of the earth.
Sharkboy: Does fairly well in the indy circuit until a bootleg copy of "One night in Chyna 2" surfaces. Come on, being caught nailing THAT would kill anyone's career.
Raven: Gets a job as a clown at children's birthday parties, but loses it when his "terrordome" balloon animals start making kids cry.
Jeff Jarrett: Has been spotted wandering aimlessly, the title still over his shoulder.
Abyss: Starts writing children's books featuring other wrestlers. For some reason, nobody's surprised.
DDP: Begins a tour with Tony Robbins.
Monty Brown: Ends up as a transvestite stripper in Vegas. What, you expected a big game hunter?
A.J. Styles: fortunately, he is picked up by the WWE. Unfortunately, his career in the WWE is shorter than Drew Carrey's. On a related note, Bob Holly will be elligible for parole in 20 years.
Jeff Hardy: The Jeff Hardy 5 scores a huge hit with Kermit the Frog's "It's not easy being green." After an iconic climb to the top of the charts, Jeff commits suicide in his trailer in North Carolina. The suicide note reads "Itz b3ttr 2 bern out then 2 fayd aweh," Which is forever credited to him...
Kevin Nash and Scott Hall: They move to Massachusetts and finally make it legal.
Petey Williams: Fares better than A.J. in the WWE, but his finisher is considered too dangerous. At the WWE's insistence, his new finisher is the chop.
3LK: B.G. James now sells insurance. After being fired from multiple jobs for drug abuse, Ron Killings resorts to the only job that'll take him: NYC Subway driver. Konnan now lives in his mom's basement.
Dusty Rhodes: After Jim Ross' unfortunate suicide (after being rejected by Austin), Rhodes claims the principal announcer's role on Monday Night Raw. 6 people notice the difference. Most people are impressed that J.R. gets the names of moves right now.
Sonjay Dutt: Jobs to Spike Dudley in a Dark Match, is laughe doff the face of the earth.
Sharkboy: Does fairly well in the indy circuit until a bootleg copy of "One night in Chyna 2" surfaces. Come on, being caught nailing THAT would kill anyone's career.