RAW Captions 1/17/05

[Innovator]

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[Savio]

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Blankets Debut did not go well in the WWE.

[juanker]

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Mohammed Hassan was the most unorthodox chiropracter ever

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Edge: YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME!! YOU WILL NEVER KNOW ME!!

or

HHH shows Edge how he will get a title run

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First Katie Vick now Trish??

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Super Kane AWAY!!

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Unfortunatly Litaitis struck when Kane botched being a superhero

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ROH??

or

Benoit was distracted by the glass ceiling lowering

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That is the Hottest CPR doll EVER!!

[Xero]

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Cha cha cha chia!

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Orton: Woah! Look how tiny it is!
Trips: Shut up you... You... DADDY! HE CALLED ME TINY!

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Shawn: It's backwards!
Edge: Wha?
Shawn: Damn it Adam! I'm willing to tap to the Sharpshooter in Canada and you go and fuck it up!

[JT]

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Chris Jericho: God Bless Canada! Why do I ever leave here?
*Thinks for a second.*
Jericho: Oh right, money with value...

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*Hassan decided to show Jericho his new finisher: The Desert Strike!*

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Hassan: WTF!?! No one told me Canadians could go Super Sayjin!

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Orton: OMG! It's gotten so small Trips. Have you figured out a way to keep Steph pleased?
HHH: Yea, I've decided to get transplant surgery. The only thing now is finding the perfect donner.
Orton: Wow, that must be a difficult task.
HHH: Not as difficult as you think...

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Christian: Come on man, this is my hometown. Can you please sell my kicks?
HBK: I like to see someone make me.
*Hart Attack begins to play*
HBK: Awww shi...

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Edge: Bret Hart did too teach me the Sharpshooter, execpt he doesn't look like he does on tv. He actuall has blonde hair and a big nose...aw crap!
HBK: Yea, I know. This mean I lost my bet with HHH about your intelligence level.

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HBK (In Pain): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Edge: All I was suggesting was for you to put a Canadian over.

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*As Benoit realized that he couldn't let go of Jericho's hand, he thought to himself, "Tu shae Rhyno, tu shae."*

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*This is not what Trish had in mind when she told Kane that she needed a lift.*

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Kane: In all my time as a member of the Church of England, this is the first time that someone didn't want cake. (Reps to anyone who gets the reference.)

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Kane: Gene duck! It's a bomb!!!

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Gene: Aw crap, I don't wanna be in this caption!
Kane: Why not?
Gene: Because it's going to be turned into a Chris Benoit Levatation joke or a Dr. Yankum Dentist joke.
Kane: Don't worry Gene, those joke are so old that anyone even considering to use them is a very sad individual.
JT: :'(

[Crashnburn]

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Edge: "TELL JR THAT THE MOVE IS CALLED THE EDGE-UCATOR!! NOT 'SOME SUBMISSION HOLD'! JESUS CHRIST CAN'T THAT MORON REMEMBER ANYTHING?!"

[Corkscrewed]

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He may have been a fantastic wrestler and an ultimate speaker, but Jericho couldn't give piggy back rides worth shit.

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Maybe that Rajah fan wasn't the idiot we all thought he was...

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Orton (reading HHH's shirt): 'If you can read this you're about to get hit by a chair...'

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And now the hardest part: Christian attempting an air-skateboard ollie over the Heartbreak Kid.

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Edge: "DAMMIT, why isn't Hebner ringing the bell????"
HBK: :cool:

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Edge's new Mike Tyson gimmick didn't give him much more heat than before.

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Further proof that Canadians simply cannot sky dive.

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Kane: "I'm touching a boob! I'M TOUCHING A BOOB!"

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Cameraman: "So just slide over for the obligatory cleavage shot..."

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Having learned nothing from the OrtonBot, WWE unveiled the TrishBot for sexually frustrated teens, but finds that all it does is fall over and lie still. Kinda like British women.

:shifty:

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Note to Snitsky: You don't actually stick you knee out to let people chairshot it.

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Gene: "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" :D :D :D

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"...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" :D :D :D :D :D

[Scorpion]

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Edge: I SMELLLL BRAIIINNSSSSS

[wwe is neat]

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Hi guys!

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Jericho: AHHHHH!

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Jericho: My hair is poofy!

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Orton AND Triple H: Take that!

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Christian: Take that!

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Shawn Michaels: That's a weird move.

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Shawn Michaels: We're practically kissing

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Jericho: Oh look, it's Benoit. I better get out of the way

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Benoit AND Jericho: Good job

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Kane: Take that!

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Kane: Gotcha!

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Trish: Ow my neck

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Kane: Ow my abdominals

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Kane AND Snitsky: We're flying!

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Kane AND Snitsky: We're still flying!

[RemyRed]

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Randy Orton: Look at your shirt? Well I don't know why but oka (BANG!)

[VJW]

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Randy: What's that small bulge in your pants? Can't be bigger than an inch . . . Poor Steph . . .

Triple H: Why you!!!!


BANG

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Chris Benoit: Float with me to heaven where we will never be buried again!!!

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Kane: Hmmmmm, there's a little more privacy here for us down there I guess . . .

Snitsky: RAPE!!!!

If they suck then too bad 'cause it's my first time.

[Shadow]

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Randy: What's that small bulge in your pants? Can't be bigger than an inch . . . Poor Steph . . .

Triple H: Why you!!!!


BANG

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Chris Benoit: Float with me to heaven where we will never be buried again!!!

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Kane: Hmmmmm, there's a little more privacy here for us down there I guess . . .

Snitsky: RAPE!!!!

If they suck then too bad 'cause it's my first time.

Not as much as wwe is neat's.

[Savio]

^I agree.

[McLegend]

What are you all talking about wwe is neat is the future of the caption industry.

[Blue Demon]

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Kane: Trish??? Trish??? Oh man..I'll be a virgin forever.....or will I?

[Gone Mad]

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Jericho: Hehe, that wwe is neat is one funny guy! I also think Bob Saget is funny!
**CROWD POPS**
Jericho: Yeah, I love Canada. No seriously though, they are funny and.. Hey, where ya going?!

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Don't try and upstage the Musical Chairs champ... ever!

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Dancing.. TO THE EXTREME!

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HBK: Oh.. why must you Canadians hurt me? Get over Bret, I have. That's why I mention him all the time and mention that I was part of the screw job and that I would do it again.. but I've gotten over i--- **MUDHOLE STOMP'D!!**

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edge: TELL ME HOW TO GET THE CROWD TO LOVE ME!! ....I've got charisma. See! A tatoo! It's a kitty. Grr. STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!!

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Two respected atheletes, commending each other... over a great game of Rock Paper Scissors. Wow.

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Kane: If you kids don't get off my lawn, I'm throwing this!! Don't tempt me. Just put your pants back on!

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Trish ready to learn how to swim.

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Never walk in when Snitsky is with the EYETOY.

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Snitsky: Hey, Kane! what time is it?
Kane: Why it is 11:0-- **TABLE'D!! **
Snitsky (smiling while "selling" the bump): ..Hey, what time is it aga--
Kane: Just die already!

end!

[Face Heely]

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Kane: In all my time as a member of the Church of England, this is the first time that someone didn't want cake. (Reps to anyone who gets the reference.)

I like a man that knows his Eddie Izzard. :cool:

[Bo]

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After sucking the soul of the WWE, HHH begins sucking up the wresters because there can only be one main eventer.

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Just in the nick of time Super Kane saved Gene from falling.

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Kane: Dear diary, Jackpot!

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Chris Jericho may be the Musical chair champion but, Christian defends his Leap Frog title with ease.

[wwe is neat]

What are you all talking about wwe is neat is the future of the caption industry.


Why thank you

[The Answer]

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Jericho:Man look at those ass clowns in the bleachers

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Hussan:Hold on a second I'll get the position right

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Jericho:What do you mean Fozzy sucks

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Orton:Hmm I thought Armani only had one "I" in it

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Trish: Dammit I know these guys are going to cope a feel

[McLegend]

Why thank you
Don't listen to all these people, because they just want to hold you down.

[VJW]

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Jericho: AHHHHHHH!!!! IT'S OSAMA!

[wwe is neat]

Don't listen to all these people, because they just want to hold you down.

How foolish of them

[Gouda]

Didn't read any other captions cause I don't feel like going through all that right now, so jokes may be unintentionally repeated.

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Hassan: Sprout, damn you, SPROUT!
Jericho: I told you, I'm not The Hurricane!!

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Jeirhco faces his greatest opponent yet... Professor Static Ball For a Head.

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Randy: Whoa. That IS big. Not as big as me though.
*Randy bursts out of his pants*

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Shawn: Seen my contact lense?
Christian: ON THE BOTTOM OF MY FOOT!!
Shawn: You're mean. :'( I'm telling Jesus on you.
Christian: He's injured.

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Didn't I see Jeff Hardy use this submission in TNA?

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Edge: Yes... now you must obey KAHN!!

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Bentoit flies to the rescue in Jericho's fight with Professor Static Ball For A Head.

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Jericho: You win... your tights have more yellow.

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Kane plays air guitar on a chair as Snitsky does a jig.

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Kane and Snitsky: DAMN YOU REFEREE!!!

[PorkSoda]

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Jericho: Huh. Is that what I look like under a mask?

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Proof that Jericho does not like being stepped on during Nap Time

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Apparently, Christian didn't want to open his legs while playing London Bridges.

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Benoit: Diddly Doo!
Jericho: Diddly Do
Benoit: Diddly
Jericho: Doddly
Benoit: Hi-Diddly-Ho-Mo-Diddly-Fiddly-Diddly-Doddly-Ho!
Jericho: Fiddly-Diddly-Shiddly-Riddly Fiddly Fiddle Widdle Niddle Po!