Kayfabe Corner 5: 3,000TH POST + MY PREDICTIONS

[KayfabeMan]

[OK, so this is just post 2,999 - but the second post here will be 3,000].

Well, after spending half of my life here on the forums, I have finally made it to 3,000 posts. Doesn't seem like much for a guy who has been around for a while. Anyhow, I will now give all of my shout outs at the beginning, so people who are just reading to see if they got one can exit this and read another thread:

FunkyFly, who always provides us with entertainment - and is a supporter of myself, as am I of him. Great posts on the wrestling forum, and always entertaining.

KaneKnight, who I originally didn't get along with. We do see eye-to-eye on most ideas - however, it makes for more entertainment when we don't. I enjoy his posts :y:

Loose Cannon, who I am proud to be a member of Camp Cannon with. Great poster, and contributes a lot to the forums. Looking forward to more great posts.

Dave Wadding & Dave Youell - who I used to mix up. I no longer mix you up, and I do include you both not only because of entertainment factor, but because my life was threatened in a previous post.

Helmsphere - for coming up with the RTW concept, and for including me in the board of deciding voters. I always enjoy your posts, and I enjoy the new tournament. :)

RavishingOne - who always has a cool avatar, and something useful to say. :y:

Corkscrewed - who is a cool poster. Good to have you on the forums, as you always contribute good stuff. Thanks for laughing at my KC colums as well.

Innovator, who I guess beat me in that forum voting deal. I will so kick your ass next time around, as I have bribed everyone to vote for me. Anyhow, :y: to you my friend.

Hitman84 - who contributes a good amount, and is a good example of a positive new poster here on TPWW. Great addition to the boards, and on a side note, I like the avatar a bunch.

Also to my 7,000 other friends, including, but not limited to: TheMackem, Fryza, redoneja, JamesSteele, disturbed316, azriel, DannyElectric, LegendKiller, my man Savior, of course Sephiroth, Splaya, eunos, Loopydate, HardkoreUK, also Tornado and the one and only Mr. Shadow, did I mention TheFugitive?, HeartBreakKid2k, Transplant, Bad Company, drakul, definitely Nervous Ferret - who gets an extended shoutout cause he's cool, and finally, the Stevie Richards fan Tucsonspeed6, who I mention because he asked me politely to do so. Also, anyone else who I forgot about. God, that felt like I was playing a character reading credits during the end of 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?'. Anyhow, here is my actual post.

[KayfabeMan]

This will also double as my KayfabeCorner 5 column, due to the timing - even though that usually comes on a Friday, and today is Tuesday.

Now then, in the spirit of my 2,000th post - which featured "By My Post 3,000th" (similar to Conan O'Brien's 'Year 2000' skits) - I will now offer up a "By My Post 4,000th" for you to see and hopefully enjoy. Please feel free to post thoughts / comments or send me chocolates.

BY MY POST 4,000TH
*Jeff Jarrett will lose the NWA Title Belt. He will then sue American Airlines for misplacing his valuable luggage, and have a new title made. When asked about when he will drop the belt, Jarrett replies honestly, saying, "I will never drop this belt. The plates can crack easily."

*HHH will go out to a nightclub with William Regal and Spike Dudley. There he will be jumped by "10 thugs". Coincidentally - this will happen right before he is scheduled to lose his title & he will tearfully hand the belt over to Vince McMahon, who, in the total interest of fairness will retire the belt until Triple H is healthy enough to return.

*A new stable in Orlando Jordan, Booker T, D-Von Dudley, Viscera, Shelton Benjamin & Mark Henry will be formed. WWE will refuse to acknowledge any similarities between the wrestlers, other than the color of their eyes. When asked if he is racist, Vince McMahon replies with, "I've never been a NASCAR fan in my life."

*In an effort to further push HHH, WWE's marketing wizards will put the tag titles on him. He will (surprisingly) need a tag partner to do this. He will be teamed with the returning Shannon Moore, and printing of shirts and hats will commence for the brilliant team of "Moore HHH".

*Mark Jindrak will be called up to WWE RAW along with Mark Henry. Their tag name will be "The Two Huge Marks". Upon hearing this, Ric Flair will raise hell with the team for breaking kayfabe and being backstage, and they will be sent back to OVW.

*UK fans will get a treat, as at WWE's UK PPV - Akio, Funaki, Kenzo Suzuki, and Tajiri will make their first official group appearance as Team E.G.G.R.O.L.L. (Every Guy Gets Randy Over Lindsay Lohan). When he was asked if putting this group together with that name was nothing more than him taking a shot at Asian wrestlers, Vince McMahon replied, "That's extremely ridiculous. I don't even own a weapon."

*Kidman will spend a night with Lita, and go back to his Flock gimmick, where he walked around constantly scratching himself; this time for a different reason. Furthermore, while spending time with Edge, Lita will botch swallowing and will be hospitalized for several months. I of course meant the swallowing thing as a food / dinner / restaurant reference.
Of course. :shifty: After being released from the hospital, Lita will be further embarassed
by her ex, Matt Hardy, who will release a sex tape of the couple entitled "Stick It In My Dumas".

*With the NHL basically abandoned, Vince McMahon decides to purchase their time on ESPN. In it's place he will execute one of his biggest and brightest ideas ever: The XHL.

*Steve Austin will begin to film his straight to video movies for Vince McMahon. Titles will include "STILL No Holds Barred", with Nathan Jones taking over Zeus' former role, and "The Rundown 2: I Did It For My People", with a guest appearance from Rikishi. When the films bomb, WWE Films chief executive Gene Snisky replies with "IT WASN'T MY FAULT!".

*TNA will have Shark Boy pick-up the X-Division Championship. They then ask him to hand it back to Christopher Daniels, who accidentally dropped it on the ground.

*Stephanie McMahon will announce that she is pregnant. In true wrestling fashion there is a swerve, and Vince is announced as the father. Unfortunately, this isn't part of a storyline.

*This time around, WWE will actually hire Abyss. To celebrate, he brings cookies and giant balloons to Titan Towers. Vince McMahon goes into a frenzy, and immediately releases him.

*To solve not only his own problems, but the lack of work for the younger wrestlers, HHH sends talent to Job Corps. Upon returning, they immediately begin working with HHH - to repair the crack in the glass ceiling.

OK, so KayfabeMan wasn't in TOP form, but I shall be again shortly. I am a little under the weather at the moment, so please forgive me :( I shall return again, and will work harder to be entertaining / sarcastic. Posts 4,000 and 5,000 shall be better.

[Bad Company]

Moore HHH :lol:

:heart:

Congrats...

[Ruien]

Whow, how much you going to type for ur 10,000th post?

[DaveWadding]

Dave Youell sucks compared to me :cool:

[Dave Youell]

Dave Youell sucks compared to me :cool:
Hmmm

lets check with a panel of 100 people and see what they think....

[Dave Youell]

Hmmm

lets check with a panel of 100 people and see what they think....
And the results are in:

we asked 100 people who sucks more, Wadding or Youell and they said:

Wadding: 100%
Youell: 1%

Please remember there is a 5% margin of error

[Pepsi Man]

The Vince defenses on the racism and shots at Asians got pretty decent laughs from me.

As far as the XHL, my brother in law made a crack about that months ago. :D

Oh yeah, and congratulations.

[Sephiroth]

You tha man!


Congrats 3k :y: :kiss:

[The Mackem]

Well done son, well done.

[The Fugitive]

Nice column.

Team E.G.G.R.O.L.L. That stable has money written all over it.

[XL]

lol the mackems avatar!

[Azriel]

Great stuff Kayfabe as always

[Disturbed316]

Wel done fine chap.

[KayfabeMan]

:lol: @ battle of the Daves

[Savio]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to KayfabeMan again.

[Corkscrewed]

TNA will have Shark Boy pick-up the X-Division Championship. They then ask him to hand it back to Christopher Daniels, who accidentally dropped it on the ground.
:lol:

Awesome stuff!

[James Steele]

Congrats! :y:

[Marcyo]

*Stephanie McMahon will announce that she is pregnant. In true wrestling fashion there is a swerve, and Vince is announced as the father. Unfortunately, this isn't part of a storyline.

:rofl: awesomeness

[Hitman84]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to KayfabeMan again.

Great stuff KayfabeMan :y: you da man - and thanks for the shoutout, it's nice to know I'm appreciated.

[Lamuella]

I got no mention and am thus sad.

[KayfabeMan]

:( Sorry I forgot you.

[Nervous Ferret]

:heart:

I didn't want to miss this.

[Gertner]

Congrats Kayfabe. I love reading your posts

[Mayo]

I got no mention and am thus sad.:-\

Congrats Kayfabe, definitely a smart and funny poster if there ever was one :y:

[KayfabeMan]

Damnit, I can't believe I left you out too :(

Next time, Gadget, next time :rant:

[The Ravishing One]

Congratulations and thanks for the mention. :y:

[MVP]

*A new stable in Orlando Jordan, Booker T, D-Von Dudley, Viscera, Shelton Benjamin & Mark Henry will be formed. WWE will refuse to acknowledge any similarities between the wrestlers, other than the color of their eyes. When asked if he is racist, Vince McMahon replies with, "I've never been a NASCAR fan in my life."


ROFL I am STILL laughing at that. :rofl: