I Need Major Help Here!!!

[weather vane]

OK my computer will not let me access any spyware or virus checking programs. It says my firewall is off and it says that I have no virus checker.

It also turns off my windows updates. I cannot turn anything on or scan for anything.

Also on my desktop I have this big message that says "Warning! You're In Danger!" Then a bunch of crap about how I have spyware on my computer and I cannot get it off.

Somebody please help me get this virus or whatever it is off of my pc.

Thanks!

[M. Banana]

Don't know if I can help with that...

But to close the spyware or whatver, hit Alt+Ctrl+Del, then click on the Processes tab.

Close anything you see that you didn't open, or doesn't need to be open.

[weather vane]

no no

its like my background on my desktop

i have no troubles opening anything else except stuff that gets rid of spyware and viruses.

SOMEBODY HELP ME!

[JJ Moore]

restart, mash F8 to boot safe mode and run from there.

[weather vane]

I did that ran everything and it fixed some problems but my desktop is now grey and my system keeps shutting down.

This is fucked.

[Dave Youell]

Re-install bwhahahahahah

That's the only thing i know

[Sidle Jinks]

Well, what about Ctrl-Alt-Del -> Process List and killing suspicious processes? Then just run msconfig (or regedit if you don't have msconfig) and try to disable everything that is loaded during Windows startup. Restart the computer, if you experience no troubles, it's high time to run antivirus software to check WTF is going on. Then re-enable evrything you disabled (with the possible exception of the files removed by the AV).
Yeah, if you have no msconfig, look for the programs loaded at Win's startup under the following keys in the registry:

HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Run,
HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\RunServices,
HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Run

If you tell me which Windows you are using, I will probably be able to help you more. Please write to sidlejinks@bk.ru. Good luck!

[Requiem]

Format. Make backups of important things, and format. Your computer is beyond fucked...

[Vietnamese Crippler]

Run a program called Hijack This

Post the log here and I'll see what I can do...

[Vietnamese Crippler]

http://www.majorgeeks.com/download3155.html

Pretty good program if you know what you're doing :o

[FearedSanctity]

I had that ad thing before to. To get rid of it, go to Control Panel > Display. Then, click the Desktop tab and click the Customize Desktop... button. From there, click the Web tab at the top and then delete the ad.