SmackDown Captions 05/12/05

[M. Banana]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/01.jpg
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http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/30.jpg

[M. Banana]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/30.jpg
Mid Carders surround their victims, dragging them to mid card hell.
http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/29.jpg
Morgan: G-G-G-G-Imme k-k-k-kissie...
Funaki: whatcho talkin' 'bout fool?
http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/28.jpg
Carlito: Smelly nuts.. das not cool.
http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/21.jpg
Carlito botches feeding the Big Show.
http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/01.jpg
Stevie debuts on SmackDown.
http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/02.jpg
Heidenreich becomes the uber heel and goes back in time to destroy..

KIDDIE CENA!!!

[M. Banana]

Meh, they were crap.

[Gouda]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/01.jpg
Why? Why was I programmed to feel pain?!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/04.jpg
Chavo tried to wake up Paul from his nap on the ropes and paid for it.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/05.jpg
Litte Johnny is finally revealed... growing out of Heidenriech's neck.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/06.jpg
chavo tests his new magnetic boots.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/09.jpg
Eddie: Alas poor Yorrick... if only I hadn't stole from you, you might not be poor! ODALYA ESSE VATO LOCO TACO ARRIBA VIVA LA RAZA BURRITO SUMBRARO TEQUILA!!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/30.jpg
You don't wanna know where Paul London's head went.

[Blue Demon]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/30.jpg

ALIALIYAALYALAYA


Smackdown was just Hassan'd

[Gouda]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/20.jpg
Angle: Don't worry Booker... I'LL deliver your baby!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/26.jpg
Cena: MILK ME!!!!!

[V]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/01.jpg
What's her face is about to realize Booker T likes bukkake

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/02.jpg
I'm not even going there...
Random Priest: Thank god

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/04.jpg
Chavo: Swinging London Tornado Attack!



http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/13.jpg
Bradshaw: my god Orlando, get some sleep!

[TerranRich]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/01.jpg
Sharmell: Why doesn't anybody realize I USED TO BE IN WCW! THAT MEANS SOMETHING!!! GAAHHH!!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/02.jpg
Boy: You're not gunna cut a promo on me, are ya Mister?

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/03.jpg
Mercury: Gimme a hug, you big lug, you!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/04.jpg
Chavo holds on for dear life as the X-Pac Sucking Machine claims one Paul London

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/05.jpg
The two-headed HeidenBeast was a great success on Smackdown

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/06.jpg
Holly: And THIS is for having CHARISMA!!!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/07.jpg
Chavo: No! Leave my nipples ALONE already!!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/08.jpg
Paul London finally realizes how much the Cruiserweight title matters to WWE

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/09.jpg
Eddie: What do you MEAN my t-shirt is a rip-off of the Grand Theft Auto: Vice City logos! DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE YOU KNOW ME, VATO LOCO!!!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/10.jpg
Eddie: For that remark, you're sitting this one out, ese.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/12.jpg
JBL: Hey guys! Look what I found in the garbage! Isn't this-- Hey! This is mine!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/13.jpg
JBL: And THIS is for attacking Vince backstage!
John: I'm...not...Nailz...

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/14.jpg
Eddie: Smell my Latino Heat, ese!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/15.jpg
Eddie: THIS is the Angry Face, homes!
Jobber: RFFLRLFLLFLFFRLRRFFRFRNMNNPH!!

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Cole: Hey! You're not Rey Mysterio!
Tazz (off-screen): That's right, Cole, Rey has, uh, all those tattoos and whatnot!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/17.jpg
Matt: I like your hair! GIMME!!

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Carlito: Come on, you fat peeg! You've already have two bushels full of my apples!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/19.jpg
Big Show, just afer being told that Randy Orton had a go at the apple barrels before the show.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/20.jpg
Kurt: Okay, you take care of the body, I'll go off and search for the head...

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/22.jpg
Referee: The hair! It is irresistable!

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Eddie attempts to do a Triple H-style promo, starting with the chair...

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/24.jpg
Chavo: I ASKED you what TIME IS IT!!!
Charlie: No! NEVER!!!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/25.jpg
Nitro: What? WHO said I was "the homo"??

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/26.jpg
Cena: It's okay, Johnny, come rest against Papa's bosom...

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/27.jpg
Announcer: Okay! Everybody trapped in Midcard Hell, please join John Cena outside the ring!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/28.jpg
Carlito botches The Mist.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/29.jpg
Matt: Ssshh! Don't say a word, Funaki. It's just you and me out here in the eternal void of uselessness...

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/30.jpg
Unknown to the rest of the people in the ring, Scotty 2 Hotty delivers the Nipple Twist of Death to John Cena.

[Xerzes]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/09.jpg
Worst. Ventriloquist. Ever.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/22.jpg
Worst. Attack by Cthulhu. Ever.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/23.jpg
Worst. Descent into Hell. Ever.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/25.jpg
Worst. Public erection. Ever.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/30.jpg
Worst. Man's hand and another man's head phased inside a third man's body. Ever.

[Impact!]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/01.jpg[/img]
I TO CAN ACT

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/02.jpg
The writers have gone to far with heidenrape

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/03.jpg
SUPER HIGH FIVE

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/04.jpg
CRAZY HORIZONTAL WALK

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/05.jpg
HEIDENRAPE

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/06.jpg
hardcore was as surprised as everyone else when chavo got stuck on top of the glass ceiling

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/07.jpg
Chavo guerrero stars in "the nutcracker"............. sorry couldn't help myself

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/09.jpg
eddie finally found a way to know where stevie was

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/10.jpg
Eddie was not ammused when he discovered rey had been replaced in his fued with a inatimate pole wearing his mask

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/13.jpg
Nobody wears orange shirts in this neighbourhood

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/14.jpg
man my armpit does stink

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/15.jpg
REY, YOU'VE GOT HAIR

[Lamuella]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/01.jpg
"WHO WANTS TO SMELL MY HANDS?"

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/02.jpg
In an attempt to cash in on the controversy of the Jackson trial, WWE has Heidenreich propose to a ten year old boy.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/03.jpg
Mercury passes his arm under his lovely assistant to show that no wires were supporting him. The crowd went "oooh"

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/04.jpg
Chavo insisted on a closer inspection of the Lovely Assistant, but just before he doscovered the thick blue supporting rope, London's lamb vindaloo from last night repeated on him.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/05.jpg
Heidenreich broght out his new weapon, the Attack Preteen.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/06.jpg
Holly's attempt to repeat Mercury's magic trick failed after Chavo let go of the hidden support beam.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/07.jpg
Chavo misunderstands the mechanics of the Hokey Pokey and puts his right foot in with disasterous consequences

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/08.jpg
COLE: London may not have won the match, but by golly those are a lovely set of pearly whites!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/09.jpg
"What's that, floating mask? You want me to KILL everyone?"

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/10.jpg
"Just kidding, folks. It's a miracle."

(rep to the first person to get the reference)

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/11.jpg
Sometimes, you look at a super violent man like Matt Morgan and you know that deep inside all he really needs is a hug.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/12.jpg
"In my bonus chapter for the paperback edition I discuss the best ways to use the threat of sodomy as a hazing exercise!"

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/13.jpg
The angry expression, the increase in muscle mass, the sudden eruption of orange skin...

good god, Cena was Hulking Up!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/14.jpg
"It's 9:00, esse, do you know where my deodorant is?"

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/15.jpg
"I think I left it with my Listerine."

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/16.jpg
WWE's contraversial "racial profiling on the ass of your tights" program broke down after they had to make a pair for Nunzio that said "Italian. Wait, Italian American. Wait, his cousin's a redneck, how does that work?"

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/17.jpg
Morgan modelled the stylish new Funaki Kneepads

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/18.jpg
Intrepid reporter Carlito was going to interview the boil on Big Show's neck even if it cost him his life.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/19.jpg
*dreadful Scotish accent* Ah think that fifth baby disagreed with me!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/20.jpg
No matter what else happened, Booker T wouldn't say that Hawk The Slayer was rubbish again

(rep for reference)

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/21.jpg
Although he was not a qualified doctor, Carlito felt sure that he would be able to help Show with the terrible growths on his back.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/22.jpg
No matter what else happened, Kurt Angle wouldn't say that Babylon 5 was a big pile of shit again.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/23.jpg
"Ladies, please. I know I'm irresistible, but don't throw your underwear at me. All right, silk and lace only."

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/24.jpg
CHARLIE: AEROPLAAAAAAAANE!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/25.jpg
ANNOUNCER: Approaching the ring at a combined weight of 435 pounds, EDGE AND CHR- Wait, wrong decade. MNM!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/26.jpg
Cena didn't care what anyone thought. He was going to breastfeed JBL whether he liked it or not!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/27.jpg
"Yeah, I breastfed the former WWE champ, AND I'D DO IT AGAIN!"

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/28.jpg
"You call this Sauce Bernaise? You're the worst wrestler-turned-cordon-bleu-chef EVER!"

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/29.jpg
"Give me some sugar, baby!"

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/30.jpg

With a trememdous roar of pain, John Cena turned into a centaur.

[BatistaBomb]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/01.jpg
Val Venis Returns To The Porn Industry With His Lastest Film Exxxtreme Fantasies With Sweet Brown Sugar Starring Sharmell

[Drakul]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/23.jpg
Rey: I'd sell my soul for a new mask!
Eddie (appering out of nowhere):That can be arranged.
Rey: Nah! Changed my mind!
Cole (dressed as marge): Rey,stop pestering satan!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/25.jpg
The benifits of waxing A-Train

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/21.jpg
Big Show: ARGH! Vitaman A! Get it off! Get it off!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
*more later,if your unlucky enough*

[What Would Kevin Do?]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/09.jpg

Much like the XFL, the Xtreme Shakespeare Troupe bombed horribly.

[wwe2222]

the floating mask is a reference to the simpsons when Ned tries to open the amusement park

[Gone Mad]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/01.jpg
"AHHH! I forgot to tape this week's 'O.C' !!! "

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/02.jpg
Kid: Hey! You're not the guy from Rocky 4 !

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/06.jpg
Holly: STOP JUMPING ON THE BED, DAMN IT!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/07.jpg
london: OOOOoohh, sweet fabric...
Chavo: Don't stop.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/09.jpg
Eddie (reading mask): Who the hell is this Ultimo guy ??

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/12.jpg
JBL: Can someone put a spinner on this ?

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/18.jpg
RANDOM PAC-MAN APPLE!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/19.jpg
Show: Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have eaten all that coffee, tea, watermelon, and motor oil...

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/20.jpg
Angle: Oh yeah. That's hot. Now touch her real soft...
Booker: Are you still here?!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/21.jpg
Big Show, killed by still life.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/25.jpg
MNM: This isn't TNA ???

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/27.jpg
Cena: Hi, I'm John and I like to request the new Britney Spears because she's so hot! WHOOO!!! TRL, BABY!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/29.jpg
So that's what happen to the Duckie kid from Full House.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/30.jpg
IT'S RAININ' MEN! HALLEUYAH, IT'S RAININ' MEN, HEY HEY!

**end**

[darkpower]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/01.jpg
Don't worry. Sharmell just had to watch the Triple H promo that never ended. It just went on and on, my friend.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/02.jpg
Heidenrich felt it was going to be a bit too early to introduce his new Michael Jackson gimmick, but then he thought, "What the hell?"


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/04.jpg
You DON'T want to know why Chavo was blinded when Paul London did this. It wasn't pretty.



http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/07.jpg
When Chavo saw how many times he had been Cruiserweight Champion, 120 times, he started to celebrate....only he partied a bit too hard and caught Paul London right in the Sandra Bullocks.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/08.jpg
"WHAT!! Vince really DOESN'T give a shit about us Crusierweights? THAT CAN'T BE!!!"



http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/11.jpg
Since Chris Masters wasn't on RAW, they decided to disguise him as Matt Morgan and let him do SmackDown that week. Too bad everyone caught on too quickly and STILL used this time as a piss break.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/12.jpg
"Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the reissue of my book is out. And it's got everything in it...only thing that they forgot was the swatika....oh shit, did I just say that outloud?"


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/14.jpg
"SAY HELLO TO MY LIL FRIEND!!"


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/16.jpg
Michael Cole was pissed when the jobber all of a sudden said that JR was a better commentator than he was. Cole later kicked the jobber's ass...AND JR's...and Triple H's. (OFFNOTE: Anyone that can get that Triple H reference gets a rep).




http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/19.jpg
Big Show swallowed...and paid for it.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/20.jpg
That's what you get for telling Vince McMahon you were sick of Chris Masters.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/21.jpg
The WWE was trying a new "Batman" approach of putting the word "Smack" on the screen as Carlito "Smack"ed Show with his apples.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/25.jpg
Hey, you would have a big buldge in YOUR pants if you got to stand next to Melina, would you?


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/26.jpg
"Bite me...no, really...BITE ME, NOW, DAMMIT!!"

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/27.jpg
So this is what John Cena got for being TOO much of a Bad, Bad Man?



http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/30.jpg
Scotty got scared that John Cena was giving birth to Paul London, and decided to debut his brand new finishing manuver, the titti-twister.

[M. Banana]

Would the reference be when Christian said "Maybe he can go beat Michael Cole" ?

[Altar of Helmsley]

"Hawk the slayer was rubbish" is a reference to Spaced.

I got some f*cking jaffa cakes in my coat pocket!

[The Highlander]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/01.jpg
Sharmell: WHY WON'T THEY GIVE ME AN EMMY?! WHY IS MY ACTING EVEN WORSE THAN STAPHANIE'S?Q WHYYYYYY?!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/12.jpg
JBL: And the coolest part is the nude layout.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/19.jpg
Big Show couldn't believe it. Did he really suck that bad?

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/07.jpg
DON'T call me tiny!

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/smackdown/photos/051205/images/14.jpg
Matt Hardy's return was less than stellar.