101 things Vince McMahon would never say...

[Chavo Classic]

"Have the cruiserweights go for a 30 minute draw tonight"

"Sorry, we have enough 6 foot 6 men on the roster already"

"I'm sorry Brett, it was my fault"

"That AJ Styles sure is something"

"I've told you a million times JR, we can't just end an angle without explaining it properly"

"Hi Matt, it's Vince, we owe you an apology..."

"Maybe we shouldn't have a Hell in a Cell this year"

"From now on, I'm going to stop wearing shirts that are two sizes too small"

[Jonster]

That's only 8 :(

[Chavo Classic]

Lol. Sorry mate. Maybe you can add some more if you can. ;) That was the notion of the thread really.

[Just John]

''who cares if they hate cena'' (reffering to the sign incident(read open letter to Vince))

[Chavo Classic]

"Try keep it under five minutes tonight Hunter"

[Batsu]

"WCW was, for a time, viable competition...and at times, produced a superior in-ring product to WWE."

"The Brock Lesnar experiment was a mistake."

[Xero]

"I'm sorry, Hunter, but I'm going to have to let you go."

"What the hell can we do with ANOTHER seven foot wrestler!?"

"Okay Paul, I'm giving you full creative control over ECW."

"Everyone, welcome Paul Heyman back to the team. He's going to get us out of the fifty foot hole that I dug."

"DX was just a cheap rip off of the nWo..."

"Hey Chris, how would you like a title run?"

"Hey Rob, how would you like a title run?"

"Hey (insert deserving name here), how would you like a title run?"

"I really like Jeff Jarrett..."

"Hunter, you're wrong."

[Impact!]

wow hunter that promo really was boring

hey steph guess what.......Shane is taking over the company when i retire

wow those smarks sure know what their talking about, we should use some of their storylines.

Lets push our lower talent

I think the cruiserweights should be the main parts of our show

Welcome to the family paul, just tell us what to do

[NoRoolz]

"Chris Jericho really does get over with the fans, and has mic-skill, wrestling ability and charisma to go with it - let's put him in the Main Event scene"

"Hardcore Holly: YOUUUUUUUU'RE FIRED!"

"Here Hunter, take some steroids...:shifty:"

"I think I might leave HHH out of the title scene for a while"

"We really need to give more time to the cruiserweights"

"This Diva-Search thing really sucks"

"No" (to HHH).

[Xero]

"No Hunter, not tonight."

[James Steele]

" Shane, I have faith you will lead the WWE to a new level of success not yet seen. I love you son. "

[Team Sheep]

"Triple H likes working Tuesdays."

[SuperSlim]

"Okay Hunter, you're working Tuesdays now."

[Just John]

''people hate this Cena guy''

[NoRoolz]

"Not all big men are that great"

[Xero]

"I'm tired of all these high ratings, lets just put Hunter on Heat and watch RAW's ratings fall..."

[NoRoolz]

"I think I'm gonna start putting effort into SmackDown now."

[Xero]

"I'm not the genetic jackhammer that I claim to be..."

[Chavo Classic]

"I used to be a woman..."

:shifty:

[Corkscrewed]

"That TPWW place sure is cool."

[Xero]

"HAHAHAHA! YOU FUCKED CHYNA!! BWAHAHAHAHA!"

[SuperSlim]

"We copied ECW and WCW."

[NoRoolz]

"Sure RVD, you can do whatever you like in the ring tonight"

"Just because he's big, doesn't necessarily mean he's good"

"Hey Trips, that moustache of yours looks really stupid"

[Savio]

Welcome to the family paul, just tell us what to do He already said it.
------------
Hunter winning the title 22 times is enough.

[Savio]

"LINDA! stick my balls in the toaster!"

"gfhdfjgfybiuihnjmngm"

"What the hell is that green spot on the carpet"

"To delete this message, check the appropriate option below and then click the 'Delete this Message' button."

"Smackdown got 5.0 rating"

[Kane Knight]

Hunter, you're being cut back to OVW while we tune up your mic skills.

[Gouda]

"What was I smoking when I hired YOU?"

"Hey Christian. The fans seem to like you, so you'll be getting a main event push"

"Hey Cena, can you cut down the homosexual and poopy jokes?"

"Hey, that Hassan guy is right!"

[Savio]

"austin you can't say sand people"

[PorkSoda]

"YOURRRRRRRRRRR HIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!"

[Xero]

"Hunter, I'm sorry, but I'm not leaving the company to you and Stephanie. Not you, either, Shane. Meet my new partner, who now owns all three of your shares... Paul Heyman!"

[SuperSlim]

"Cena, I'm given you an open mic. Say whatever you want."

"RVD, you are free to compete to the best of your abilities and you will receive mic time."

[Kane Knight]

"Maybe I should bring Matt back. That was unfair of me."

"Christian's getting one of the biggest pops on Raw. Let's push him."

"Maybe the internet isn't to blame for these ratings. Maybe we should make the show entertaining on a weekly basis."

[Chavo Classic]

"I'm hiring Kane Knight, Superslim and Triple A for my new look writing team." :D

[The Show Off]

"Where's my welfare check."

[Kane Knight]

JEsus, what the fuck would THAT look like?

"I think Kane should turn heel."

"OMG. You are unfunny. Shut up."

[Chavo Classic]

"Stephanie, Hunter is not good enough for you. He's manipulative, callous and self-obsessed - so I've found you a new man....


...you can come in now Shannon"

[The Show Off]

"What Owen Hart just died in the ring? Well just get his ass out for the ring and continue the PPV..."

Oh wait he did basically say that.

[James Steele]

:nono:

[The Highlander]

"We need to quit hiring pointless bimbos and get more women who can wrestle."
"Steven Richards has a cult following, let's put a belt on him."
"We need to cut Triple H out of this segment."
"Involving my kids in this storyline? That'd be stupid."
"I should get some input from Paul and Eric."
"Christian vs Benoit for the gold would be much better than Batista vs Snitzky."
"I disagree, Hunter."
"I say we cut our losses. Big show, You're fired."
"Stuttering gimmicks never work."
"JBL Sucks"

[Savio]

I don't know if he could have said "go home its over!" and refund everyones money....well I guess he could

[Gouda]

"Let's have a cruserweight match on Smackdown that doesn't get interrupted"

[NoRoolz]

"Welcome back to the WWE Jeff Jarrett"

[PureHatred]

"What? There's no way I'm doing another angle where I have an affiar and get to grope a smoking hot Diva who's a third my age!!"

[FourFifty]

Benoit, I'd like you to shoot with Hunter tonight.
Maybe I should listen to the fans more often.
No, Hogan, you cannot have another last match!
Where do you come up with this stuff Paul? It's awesome!
New Jack, I'd like you to shoot with Hunter tonight.

[The Show Off]

"Maybe I did screw Bret."

[Gouda]

"I actually have to DO something to break wrestling out of this downward cycle!"

[tucsonspeed6]

"Maybe I should have spent some money to get some bigger WCW stars for the Invasion angle"

"Maybe I should have let WCW win a few rounds in the Invasion angle"

"Maybe having my daughter be the spotlight of the Invasion angle wasn't the best thing for this company."

....just using the Invasion angle is enough for 101.

[Altar of Helmsley]

"I don't think Goldberg should wear a wig"

"No Mark you can't have 6 months off"

or

"Mark your gonna job at Mania"

"I don't think Linda should be in this segment with Austin"

"The XFL was a big mistake"

"WWE movies will flop"

[tucsonspeed6]

How about:

"Hunter, you may already know that Smackdown's in trouble. They're moving to Friday night, and that's going to be a nightmare for ratings. We NEED those advertisers. I know you're the only draw in this company, so I know that your fans will follow you over. You're going to be the next draft pick."

[Fox]

"I don't think the fans buy JBL as a credible World Champion. Better put it back on Eddie."
-After Great American Bash 2004

"Chris Benoit ought to be the focus of the show. He is the World Heavyweight Champion. I think I'll turn HBK heel and put them in a feud together."
-After Backlash 2004

"Oh my god... Rob Van Dam is the most over man in the company! I need to do something about this!"
-Invasion 2002

"Hunter, that was the worst promo I've ever heard. Work on it."
-After any RAW

"Rey/RVD/Jericho/Paul London I want you to go out there tonight and pull out all the stops."

"You will never be on WWE TV again. Ever."
-To Stephanie after one of her annoying promos

Vince: "Please, please, please, please, please come back to full time!"
Rock: Stop touching me.

[Evolution]

"Chris Jericho deserved a better Undisputed Title run".

"Hunter, you've done it 10 times. Let someone else be champion for a while."

"Wow, it's not his character. These people HATE Edge. Maybe teaming him with Lita was a mistake".

[NoRoolz]

"I was wrong"

"Hunter will you PLEASE shave that ridiculous moustache"

"No we won't be making any more HHH DVD's"

"You're too big"

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

"Pandas Rule!"

[Xero]

"I can't believe it, but poop and gay jokes just aren't funny to me anymore."

[Kane Knight]

"Bob, I'd appreciate it if you stopped stiffing people in the ring. Beating the shit out of the help is bad for business."

"And pass this along to Bradshaw."

[Xero]

"I cry myself to sleep every night because I know that if I stand up to Hunter he'd beat me... Then fire me."

[NoRoolz]

:lol: @ last 4 posts.

[LK]

"You know Hunter, maybe Jericho should make you tap out tonight"

[LK]

John, for assaulting Blue Meanie at ONS and bullying younger workers, not to mention breaking the law in another country and alienating a section of our audience, you're fired!

[dalegendkilla]

''Let's give the fans what they want.''

''Maybe we should keep Triple H out of the main event for a while''

''Triple H, YOOOUUURREE FIIIRRREEEEDD!!!!''

[Kane Knight]

"Maybe I shouldn't run this entire <s>forum</s> show based on what I enjoy. It appears the masses aren't that pleased."

[Just John]

*Vince sees Carlitos Cabana*



''Mabye more Superstars should spit fruit at each other''


Hold on this is things he wouldn't say lol
























Just you wait, Just you wait 'till we see Big Vis spit a watermelon at someone

[Kane Knight]

"Trust me, John, mooning the world on Raw is will equal ratings. As will you raping JR in the final segment."

[Xero]

"Those guys on the internet are on to something..."

"No Brock, leave the internet alone."

[Kane Knight]

I was wrong to sue Marvel.

[M. Banana]

I was wrong to sue Marvel.

waht?

[Kane Knight]

waht?
WWE sued Marvel. They claimed that their agreement with Marvel over the rights to "Hulk" Hogan was not up.

[M. Banana]

Oh, thanks. :y:

[bigdaddysuperfreak]

"I have enough sandwiches for everyone in my vagina"

[M. Banana]

"I have enough sandwiches for everyone in my vagina"

Don't.Get.It.

[Kane Knight]

"Lance Storm is God."

[Kane Knight]

Don't.Get.It.
Do you ever picture Vince saying it?

[M. Banana]

this thread confuses me because:

a) i thought most of it was referenced shiz
b) vince mcmahon is the subject
c) im cold

[bigdaddysuperfreak]

"Sting is the greatest wrestler on WWE"

[M. Banana]

"WWF"

[redoneja]

"Hey Bischoff, I'm giving you absolute creative control"

[M. Banana]

"Maybe we should hire real writers instead of blow up dolls."

[Xero]

"I'M VINCE MCMAHON DARN IT!"

[bigdaddysuperfreak]

"I really respect the fans for putting up with this shit."

[M. Banana]

"I <s>really</s> respect <s>the</s> fans <s>for putting up with this shit.</s>"

[Schoenauer]

"Flair, I'm going to make you the World Heavyweight Champion."
"Big Show you really need to lose weight."
"Edge, Lita you're fired because the fans feel you screwed Matt f'n Hardy!"

[den1982]

vince hate hhh for bend a jackass belt hog

[Marcyo]

'I think we should make this company more entertaining by adding more cruiserweights.'

[Batsu]

"WWF"

LOL

[SammyG]

I would never put myself in a storyline with a handicapped kid

[den1982]

i kill wcw for good by send other people like vince russc

[SammyG]

lol two jobber posts back to back, mine and den's

[FourFifty]

Vince: Oh Shannon, oh Shannon, Oh GOD SHANNON!!!! Alright, you earned YOUR title shot!
Shannon Moore: Yes!
Vince: You and Kidman for the CW title!
Shannon Moore: YES! YOU DON'T THINK I'M A GIRL!!!
Vince: Hell, all back doors look the same.

[Jonster]

That's <s>only 8</s> 147 :(

[den1982]

lol two jobber posts back to back, mine and den's

[Londoner]

" Lets not have a hell in a cell match this year featuring HHH"

"Were not having a title match featuring HHH this year"

"I want logical storylines from now on"

"Were going to make the titles mean something"

"I care about smackdown"

(i havent read page 2, only 1 and 3 so sorry if any of these have been thought of on page 2)

[AJHayes]

i kill wcw for good by send other people like vince russc
Jesus God Almighty kid. LEARN TO USE THE LANGUAGE YOU SPEAK!

Grammar is the whole F'n Show. Using your language properly is hardcore.

:foc:

[Chavo Classic]

vince hate hhh for bend a jackass belt hog

WHAT? :wtf:

[Chavo Classic]

Jesus God Almighty kid. LEARN TO USE THE LANGUAGE YOU SPEAK!

Grammar is the whole F'n Show. Using your language properly is hardcore.

:foc:

Lol. Sounds like something the Sandman would say if he was lecturing kids on how to use correct grammar and pronounciation...

[LK]

Vince: God damn, TNA's really kicking our asses in the ratings.

[Shadow]

Vince: Ok..I'm moving this Shannon Moore guy over to RAW and Batista will drop the title to him.

[Chavo Classic]

Vince: Ok..I'm moving this Shannon Moore guy over to RAW and Batista will drop the title to him.

Vince : "I am fully aware of who this Shannon Moore person is"

[Shadow]

Vince: Shannon Moore is a guy.

[loopydate]

"That RVD promo from One Night Stand really brought the house down. I could spin a phenomenal gimmick out of this when he comes back!"

"You know, that spinny belt is lame."

"No, Adam, I promise. I definitely had an end in mind when I started your 'Money In The Bank' angle. Here's what I'm thinking..."

"Of course they'll realize that Carlito's stuttering 'help' is the same guy that Paul Heyman brought in for his Survivor Series team a couple of years ago! The fans aren't stupid!"

[hb2k]

"No. That's racist"

[Xero]

"John, you're a wigger. And wiggers aren't funny."

[hb2k]

"J.R is far too respected to humiliate him like that"

[Xero]

"Get that old guy off my show!"

[hb2k]

"Let's sign Nick Mondo!"

[Indifferent Clox]

yeah i was about to say:

"NICK MONDO.. YOUUUUUU'RE HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!"

[Funky Fly]

Bumping threads that are months old makes me very ban-happy. :)

[94 SVT Cobra]

"Holy Sh*t...John...you really CANT rap."

"What the hell is going on?"

[Taker Fan]

"Let's not trademark that..."

[Pepsi Man]

Bumping threads that are months old makes me very ban-happy. :)
That's lame.

-Regards

[Skippord]

RVD isnt high

[Innovator]

"Steph, this stuff on TV sucks....damn where's Heyman when I need him?"

[94 SVT Cobra]

"after much thought ive come to realize that Robert Dinsmore has FAR more potential then this "erics nephew" gimmick"

[Xero]

"I watched SmackDown! tonight!"

[Impact!]

I love Tpww, and the rest of the internet wrestling community

[hb2k]

"Let's not do that, it's too stereotypical."

[Disturbed316]

"Whoa, now there is a diva I haven't boned"

[Schoenauer]

"I've got the wrong Hardy..."

[hb2k]

"How does one million a year sound?"

[Xero]

"How much do you weigh? 160? Good! You'll be the champion on the next show!"

[Stickman]

"I never took steriods"

"Linda, no I have never ever cheated on you"

[hb2k]

"I love you Linda"

[Xero]

"Oh God, I couldn't take another lick."

[BigDaddyCool]

"In a few years TNA might be worth a damn"

"From now on, I'm just going to stick to wrestling"

[Xero]

"Sorry Hulk, there isn't enough room on the roster for you."

[hb2k]

"Sorry Steph, there isn't enough room on the roster for you"

[Xero]

"Sorry Hunte-What do you mean I'm fired!?"

[The MAC]

w)w whipped my ass

[Evolution]

Kane should have been at least a 3 time champion by now

[Xero]

"Cruiserweight"

[mrslackalack]

I took ECWS concept.

[Outsider]

"Undertaker really is over the hill now, maybe he shouldn't compete"

[hb2k]

"No, Hunter"

[NeanderCarl]

"I think this time I might hire a writer who knows something about the wrestling business"

"My God, you guys should really get on that internet more often"

[Xero]

"I'll pay for TNA's prime time slot going straight up against RAW."

[94 SVT Cobra]

"RVD...would u please fill this up?" as vince hands him a drug testing cup

[CSL]

"RVD...would u please fill this up?" as vince hands him a drug testing cup

<font color=white>Change the RVD to 'Everyone In The Company'...</font>

[JJ Moore]

Nigg...nevermind

[D Mac]

"Hogan really is over the hill now, maybe he shouldn't compete"

[Evolution]

Pandas are awesome.

I'm on a jelly bean diet!

Hunter, shut the fuck up!

I love you Shane.

Chris Jericho didn't get the title run he deserved. Lets have him beat Hunter for it at WrestleMania 22.

[hb2k]

"Good idea Steph".

[JJ Moore]

Hell let's start ECW and WCW back up and have some sort of competition.

[D Mac]

"XXXFL, now that's an idea!"

[Xero]

"I would like to apply for a trademark on both 'XHL' and 'XLB'"

[hb2k]

"You know what, enough of these outside products, lets focus on the wrestling"

[Drakul]

I don't want you're money!

I have my pride!

I have my dignity!

[Morgan]

"I think an angle where a referee shoots himself would be a bad idea."

[Gone Mad]

"Let's never embarrass Shelton and we will just give him a shot at the WWE title, because he is talented." Many names can replace Shelton in this case.

"What's so good about hosses? Let's push cruiserweights and never forget about them, ever! "

"Wow, our programming is REALLY bad! We should be more like them TNA kids."

[hb2k]

"Do you think my shoulders are too big"

[Y3J]

"Cena, you're gonna lose the title at NYR"

[hb2k]

"You know what this company needs right now? Buff Bagwell"

[Latino Rhys]

Taker your gonna lose tonight!

[Xero]

"STAND BACK!"

[hb2k]

"STAND BACK!"

http://www.estragand.com/media/dumbpics/VinceSlammy.jpg

:shifty:

[Just John]

"Those guys at TPWW sure are friendly"

[Xero]

"CZW is the number 3 company."

[Disturbed316]

"STAY IN THE BACK, THERE'S A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH"

[Disturbed316]

"I'm 100% natural"

[hb2k]

"I knew putting Steph in charge of creative was a big mistake..."

[Volare]

"shelton benjamin needs a push...he can go far for us..."

"hey HHH, you should put someone over to bring up more talent..."

[Innovator]

"No Masters I will not buy you a whizzinator"

[D Mac]

http://www.estragand.com/media/dumbpics/VinceSlammy.jpg

:shifty:


"John Travolta aint got nothin on me."

[Xero]

"Go on out there and rip me a new one, Paul (Heyman)."

[Xero]

"Toss me a mic."

:shifty:

[D Mac]

http://www.estragand.com/media/dumbpics/VinceSlammy.jpg

:shifty:


"Look out Simon, A new American Idol is born!"

[Disturbed316]

"Yeah, I was a fan of WCW during 96/97"

[94 SVT Cobra]

"TNA? Yea sure ive heard of it"