Corkscrewed
12-22-2005, 12:17 AM
Raw opens up with a recap of the past year, highlighting the rise of Batista and John Cena, WWE Homecoming, the return of the Undertaker, and a tribute to Eddie Guerrero.
The pyros hit and we are live for the final episode of RAW in 2005! We join Joey Styles, “The King” Jerry Lawler, and Jonathan Coachman at the announcer booth.
STYLES: Welcome to WWE RAW! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you all tonight on this, the final show of the year! 2005 has been a tremendous year, and 2006 promises to be even bigger and better!
KING: And my sources have told me that Vince McMahon has some huge announcements tonight, and I can’t wait to hear them!
STYLES: And what about you, Coach? Did you enjoy having your ass kicked by Ric Flair last week?
COACH: Grrrrrr…..
Suddenly, “No Chance” hits, and the crowd goes wild as the Chairman of the WWE, Vince McMahon, makes his way to the top of the stage.
http://img91.imageshack.us/img91/2949/outsider16sf.jpg
VINCE: Well, well, it’s been a huge year for RAW, hasn’t it?
The crowd pops.
VINCE: Well, the year ain’t over yet, and we’ve got a huge show for everyone!!!!! [waits for the cheers to die down] Tonight, we’re going to have a big supershow for all of you, which means you’re going to see superstars from both RAW and SmackDOWN! That’s just so you annoying smarks can keep on thinking that we’re going to end the brand split, even though we’re not because it allows me to bury twice as many wrestlers as before!!! :rofl:
Crickets chirp.
CRUISERWEIGHTS: [backstage] :rant:
VINCE: Oh crap, did I say that out loud?
JOHNNY ACE: [in the headset] No, Vince, you only thought it.
http://img243.imageshack.us/img243/6302/outsidertalk3vk.jpg
VINCE: Hmph… alright. Despite my feeling of déjà vu, I’ll believe that. Anyway, tonight, Edge and Matt Hardy are going to go one on one for the real last time and settle their differences over Lita once and for all in a match that’s never been done before! Yes, it will be EDGE… VERSUS MATT HARDY… in a LITA ON A POLE MATCH!!!!
The crowd goes ballistic at the announcement, cheering Vince and forgetting what he’d just said 15 seconds earlier.
VINCE: Furthermore, we’re going to have—
Suddenly, the screech of a car followed by a loud crash is heard, and the crowd goes even wilder in expectation of Mick Foley…
Instead, the cameras catch Ric Flair driving recklessly through the backstage area. Within moments, he crashes through the RAW set and drives his BMW down the ramp, nearly running Vince McMahon over! Vince leaps out of the way just in time as Flair brings his vehicle to a stop before it hits the ring. He gets out of the car and starts yelling at a motionless body plastered to the hood of his BeeMer.
http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/9698/naitchwoo5rn.jpg
FLAIR: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Take that you sonofabitch!!! That’ll teach you to mess with Space Mountain! You want to drive slow in front of me??? You want to stay in your car after I get out of mine and start yelling at you? You want to tell me to stop after I beat your stupid peabrain in with a sledgehammer??? Well no way man!!! You messed with the dirtiest player in the game, and I just went road rage on your ass!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
At that moment, Flair notices that he’s in an arena full of people.
VINCE: [recovering his microphone] Well, Ric, since you’re here, I might as well tell you some great news!!
FLAIR: You just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico? Cuz I tried, but they said my driving record was too poor.
VINCE: No, even better! We’re going to reinvent you! See, kids these days are looking for a new, cool hero to worship. Kids also like fast cars and drivers who don’t take shit from nobody. So we’re going to—and this is so awesome because it’s so original—we’re going to repackage you into the world’s first wrestler who’s also a really fast driver!!!
FLAIR: You mean—
http://img433.imageshack.us/img433/7941/outsidertalk29ud.jpg
VINCE: Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to Spark Plug Ric Flair!!!!!
CROWD: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
VINCE: What you all mean is… VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! (mmm)!!!!
Ric stands there looking… mostly shocked in a drunk way.
VINCE: And you’ll be defending your Intercontinental Championship against…. HARDCORE HOLLY!!!! In fact, you should probably get to the back and get ready.
Flair simply nods mutely and starts trudging to the back.
VINCE: We’ll just clean up the mess by having Randy Orton crash the car through the set and into some random non-hosses.
CRUISERWEIGHTS: [backstage] :rant: :rant:
http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/160/outsiderintroduce6ju.jpg
VINCE: We’ve also scheduled our World Champion, Dave Batista, to take on Big Show and Kane for the RAW Tag Titles, as well as Kid Rock—
JOHNNY ACE: [in the headset] That’s Kash.
VINCE: —Kash for the Cruiserweight Title, and finally, Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title! Furthermore, I’d like to announce that the Best of Seven series between Chris Benoit and Booker T is off, because I’ve just named Batista the U.S. Champion as well!
BENOIT & BOOKER: [backstage] :foc:
VINCE: Chris Masters will take on Val Venis in the first ever “Break Your Nose” match. He’s undefeated in those you know.
SMARKS: :foc:
http://img418.imageshack.us/img418/415/outsiderlaugh4ne.jpg
VINCE: And finally, even though he’s supposed to defend his title against five other people in the Elimination Chamber next month, I’m going to have your beloved hero, John Cena, take on my son, TRIPLE H, in a HELL IN A CELL MATCH, TONIGHT!!!!!
CROWD: :eek:
STYLES: Didn’t we just have a Hell in the Cell match 8 days ago?
KING: 8 days? What’s that?
VINCE: We will have other matches too, and before the night is over… meaning at the end of the show… we will unveil who I chose to be RAW’s new General Manager!!! Even though everyone knows it’s going to be Dusty Rhodes!!! Butmaybeit’snot. :shifty:
Vince drops the mic and walks off the stage as RAW goes to a commercial break.
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[Commercial Break]
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As RAW returns from the break, Shelton Benjamin is in the ring ready for a match. After he finishes posing, some Mariachi music hits.
LILLIAN GARCIA: And his opponent, standing in at one half inch tall and weighing in at seven grams, from the Burlap Sack, he is… THE MEXICAN JUMPING BEAN!!!!
http://img391.imageshack.us/img391/7766/mexicanjumpingbeanentrance9px.jpg
The crowd goes wild as a tiny pinto bean comes hopping down the ramp and into the ring.
STYLES: Well, he’s got plenty of spunk…
Shelton looks like he’s half about to laugh and half about to cry. The two lock up, and the Jumping Bean hits a fury of jabs to Shelton’s stomach! The bean hops around, ducks under a clothesline, then hits a series of dropkicks and spinning kicks and flipping kicks!
STYLES: I think Shelton’s underestimating his opponent. A few weeks ago, Shawn Michaels challenged him to show some attitude, but this looks like pure cockiness, and he’s paying for it.
COACH: Yeah, that and VincecaughtSheltonpeepingonStephaniewhileshemasterubatedinthelockerrom. :shifty:
KING: WHAT?!
COACH: [immediately after Lawler] What?
The Jumping Bean continues to dominate Shelton with its rapid fire offense, but out of nowhere, Shelton hits a dragon whip on the bean, sending it flying to the corner! Shelton goes for a Stinger Splash, but somehow completely misses! This allows the Jumping Bean to jump onto the top rope as Shelton staggers backwards, then hit a gorgeous corkscrew moonsault!!!
STYLES: What a move by the Jumping Bean!!! Here’s the count!
1…
2…
3!!!
The fans go wild as the Mexican Jumping Bean celebrates its huge win!
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Backstage, Batista is shown getting ready for his big matches. Suddenly, Stephanie McMahon walks in wearing a very low V-neck blouse and a stunningly short lacy miniskirt.
http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/6964/mooncorky15or.jpg
STEPHANIE: Hi Dave!
BATISTA: Hey Steph!
STEPHANIE: I know Hunter’s probably told you this before, but he never expected you to actually film and photograph that romp in Room 913 last year after the party. And well, you know, he’s held his end of the deal. He really put you over as a star. I mean, you beat him three times, and he didn’t even get retribution. And you’ve held the title since then. He’s even gotten additional titles for you. So… you think you could return that tape and those photographs of you two… ya know… doing your thing?
http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/4281/mooncorky26dq.jpg
BATISTA: Well, Steph, I definitely appreciate everything your husband has done for me, but how can I really be sure that he won’t just turn around and bury me after he’s gotten everything he’s needed?
Stephanie ponders this logical question for a moment, then cozies herself up to Batista.
STEPHANIE: You know… I don’t do this for anyone. But if you hand over that incriminating evidence, I can really make it worth your while, if you know what I mean. :naughty:
BATISTA: No, Steph, I’m not quite sure. Maybe you should show me. :cool:
STEPHANIE: Well…
http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/8141/mooncorky33me.jpg
Stephanie moves in and locks lips with Batista, who quickly obliges. Steph quickly wraps her legs around Batista’s torso as he picks her up by the rear, giving fans a nice flash of what HHH sees every night. The two move off screen, and right before the camera fades out, viewers hear the sound of Stephanie being thrown onto a bed, followed by a girly giggle and then some smooching sounds.
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[Commercial Break]
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Back in the arena after the break…
LILLIAN: The following match is the first ever Lita on a Pole Match!! First, making his way to the ring….
Edge’s music hits, and 63 Japanese children in the audience have epileptic seizures from the strobe lights. Edge comes down to the ring, and as he gets in, we finally get our first glimpse of Lita on the pole.
http://img391.imageshack.us/img391/8364/cheetahonapole0rm.jpg
STYLES: Um… actually, I’m not quite sure that was the original idea.
KING: What are you talking about??? This is great!!! Pussies!!!!! (cats)
STYLES: Maybe for you, but I think Lita was supposed to be tied to the pole, not actually inserted onto it through her… um… through her ‘gummy hole.’ :shifty:
COACH: Hey. She’s a slut.
OHHHHHH YEAAHHHHH!!!!
Matt Hardy’s music hits as Lita’s ex races down to the ring, slides in, and goes to clothesline Edge just before he realizes the position Lita has put herself in.
MATT: :eek:
http://www.wwe.com/superstars/smackdown/matthardy/photos/61.jpg
Using the diversion to his advantage, Edge spears Matt out of nowhere, then starts pounding on his head! Edge continues with the blows, completely ignoring the ref’s pleas to stop.
STYLES: Well, we all know Matt as the man who will not die, but I’ll bet he wish he was dead right now.
COACH: Why? Cuz he’s getting buried after making the career mistake of coming back to the WWE?
VINCE: [in the headset] #%(#(@%&#%&)(@*&%*!!!
STYLES: Erm… no, cuz he’s getting his head beaten to a pulp right now.
KING: Speaking of things that will not die, Hulk Hogan called yesterday and wanted to win the Royal Rumble so he can feud with John Cena.
STYLES & COACH: :wtf:
Edge picks Matt up and gives him an Edgecution DDT, driving his head into the mat! Wasting little time, he hooks Matt’s legs and locks in his modified figure four! Matt struggles against the pain for a few moments, then taps out, but knowing the match can’t be won via submission, Edge simply keeps the move locked in for another 30 seconds just to torture his former best friend! Eventually, Matt simply passes out from the pain, and Edge lets go.
STYLES: Now all he has to do is climb the turnbuckle and free Lita from the pole!
KING: I dunno, I think with all the vibration that the wrestling moves have caused, she’s kinda enjoying it…
Edge scales the turnbuckle and signals to Lita to remove herself from the pole, but Lita’s grins of ecstacy clearly show that she wants to stay on! Edge gets a little frustrated and tries to shake the pole a little, but this simply increases the pleasure on Lita’s face! Growing even more angry, Edge shakes harder, but Lita continues to smile!
LITA: Yes! YES! YES!!! MORE! MORE!!!! MMMMMMORE!!!!!
Clearly tired of her antics, Edge lets go and tries to yank Lita down. A sickening ripping sound is heard, and suddenly, Edge finds himself face to face with Lita!
STYLES: OH! MY! GAWD!!! Lita’s been impaled on the pole!!!!
KING: :rofl: She botched masturbation!!!!
http://img166.imageshack.us/img166/5351/shaggy021lg.jpg
Edge quickly jumps down from the turnbuckle and looks around suspiciously. Only the shocked and silenced crowd greets his stares. He spins around, then rolls out of the ring, hurdles over the barrier, and runs out of the arena through the crowd, leaving Lita impaled on the stick with that stupid death-grin on her face, and Matt Hardy still knocked out from earlier.
STYLES: Crap, we’re gonna really feel it from the FCC this time…. Um, here’s an ad for TAG Body Spray!!
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[Commercial Break]
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The pyros hit and we are live for the final episode of RAW in 2005! We join Joey Styles, “The King” Jerry Lawler, and Jonathan Coachman at the announcer booth.
STYLES: Welcome to WWE RAW! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you all tonight on this, the final show of the year! 2005 has been a tremendous year, and 2006 promises to be even bigger and better!
KING: And my sources have told me that Vince McMahon has some huge announcements tonight, and I can’t wait to hear them!
STYLES: And what about you, Coach? Did you enjoy having your ass kicked by Ric Flair last week?
COACH: Grrrrrr…..
Suddenly, “No Chance” hits, and the crowd goes wild as the Chairman of the WWE, Vince McMahon, makes his way to the top of the stage.
http://img91.imageshack.us/img91/2949/outsider16sf.jpg
VINCE: Well, well, it’s been a huge year for RAW, hasn’t it?
The crowd pops.
VINCE: Well, the year ain’t over yet, and we’ve got a huge show for everyone!!!!! [waits for the cheers to die down] Tonight, we’re going to have a big supershow for all of you, which means you’re going to see superstars from both RAW and SmackDOWN! That’s just so you annoying smarks can keep on thinking that we’re going to end the brand split, even though we’re not because it allows me to bury twice as many wrestlers as before!!! :rofl:
Crickets chirp.
CRUISERWEIGHTS: [backstage] :rant:
VINCE: Oh crap, did I say that out loud?
JOHNNY ACE: [in the headset] No, Vince, you only thought it.
http://img243.imageshack.us/img243/6302/outsidertalk3vk.jpg
VINCE: Hmph… alright. Despite my feeling of déjà vu, I’ll believe that. Anyway, tonight, Edge and Matt Hardy are going to go one on one for the real last time and settle their differences over Lita once and for all in a match that’s never been done before! Yes, it will be EDGE… VERSUS MATT HARDY… in a LITA ON A POLE MATCH!!!!
The crowd goes ballistic at the announcement, cheering Vince and forgetting what he’d just said 15 seconds earlier.
VINCE: Furthermore, we’re going to have—
Suddenly, the screech of a car followed by a loud crash is heard, and the crowd goes even wilder in expectation of Mick Foley…
Instead, the cameras catch Ric Flair driving recklessly through the backstage area. Within moments, he crashes through the RAW set and drives his BMW down the ramp, nearly running Vince McMahon over! Vince leaps out of the way just in time as Flair brings his vehicle to a stop before it hits the ring. He gets out of the car and starts yelling at a motionless body plastered to the hood of his BeeMer.
http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/9698/naitchwoo5rn.jpg
FLAIR: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Take that you sonofabitch!!! That’ll teach you to mess with Space Mountain! You want to drive slow in front of me??? You want to stay in your car after I get out of mine and start yelling at you? You want to tell me to stop after I beat your stupid peabrain in with a sledgehammer??? Well no way man!!! You messed with the dirtiest player in the game, and I just went road rage on your ass!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
At that moment, Flair notices that he’s in an arena full of people.
VINCE: [recovering his microphone] Well, Ric, since you’re here, I might as well tell you some great news!!
FLAIR: You just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico? Cuz I tried, but they said my driving record was too poor.
VINCE: No, even better! We’re going to reinvent you! See, kids these days are looking for a new, cool hero to worship. Kids also like fast cars and drivers who don’t take shit from nobody. So we’re going to—and this is so awesome because it’s so original—we’re going to repackage you into the world’s first wrestler who’s also a really fast driver!!!
FLAIR: You mean—
http://img433.imageshack.us/img433/7941/outsidertalk29ud.jpg
VINCE: Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to Spark Plug Ric Flair!!!!!
CROWD: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
VINCE: What you all mean is… VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! (mmm)!!!!
Ric stands there looking… mostly shocked in a drunk way.
VINCE: And you’ll be defending your Intercontinental Championship against…. HARDCORE HOLLY!!!! In fact, you should probably get to the back and get ready.
Flair simply nods mutely and starts trudging to the back.
VINCE: We’ll just clean up the mess by having Randy Orton crash the car through the set and into some random non-hosses.
CRUISERWEIGHTS: [backstage] :rant: :rant:
http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/160/outsiderintroduce6ju.jpg
VINCE: We’ve also scheduled our World Champion, Dave Batista, to take on Big Show and Kane for the RAW Tag Titles, as well as Kid Rock—
JOHNNY ACE: [in the headset] That’s Kash.
VINCE: —Kash for the Cruiserweight Title, and finally, Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title! Furthermore, I’d like to announce that the Best of Seven series between Chris Benoit and Booker T is off, because I’ve just named Batista the U.S. Champion as well!
BENOIT & BOOKER: [backstage] :foc:
VINCE: Chris Masters will take on Val Venis in the first ever “Break Your Nose” match. He’s undefeated in those you know.
SMARKS: :foc:
http://img418.imageshack.us/img418/415/outsiderlaugh4ne.jpg
VINCE: And finally, even though he’s supposed to defend his title against five other people in the Elimination Chamber next month, I’m going to have your beloved hero, John Cena, take on my son, TRIPLE H, in a HELL IN A CELL MATCH, TONIGHT!!!!!
CROWD: :eek:
STYLES: Didn’t we just have a Hell in the Cell match 8 days ago?
KING: 8 days? What’s that?
VINCE: We will have other matches too, and before the night is over… meaning at the end of the show… we will unveil who I chose to be RAW’s new General Manager!!! Even though everyone knows it’s going to be Dusty Rhodes!!! Butmaybeit’snot. :shifty:
Vince drops the mic and walks off the stage as RAW goes to a commercial break.
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[Commercial Break]
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As RAW returns from the break, Shelton Benjamin is in the ring ready for a match. After he finishes posing, some Mariachi music hits.
LILLIAN GARCIA: And his opponent, standing in at one half inch tall and weighing in at seven grams, from the Burlap Sack, he is… THE MEXICAN JUMPING BEAN!!!!
http://img391.imageshack.us/img391/7766/mexicanjumpingbeanentrance9px.jpg
The crowd goes wild as a tiny pinto bean comes hopping down the ramp and into the ring.
STYLES: Well, he’s got plenty of spunk…
Shelton looks like he’s half about to laugh and half about to cry. The two lock up, and the Jumping Bean hits a fury of jabs to Shelton’s stomach! The bean hops around, ducks under a clothesline, then hits a series of dropkicks and spinning kicks and flipping kicks!
STYLES: I think Shelton’s underestimating his opponent. A few weeks ago, Shawn Michaels challenged him to show some attitude, but this looks like pure cockiness, and he’s paying for it.
COACH: Yeah, that and VincecaughtSheltonpeepingonStephaniewhileshemasterubatedinthelockerrom. :shifty:
KING: WHAT?!
COACH: [immediately after Lawler] What?
The Jumping Bean continues to dominate Shelton with its rapid fire offense, but out of nowhere, Shelton hits a dragon whip on the bean, sending it flying to the corner! Shelton goes for a Stinger Splash, but somehow completely misses! This allows the Jumping Bean to jump onto the top rope as Shelton staggers backwards, then hit a gorgeous corkscrew moonsault!!!
STYLES: What a move by the Jumping Bean!!! Here’s the count!
1…
2…
3!!!
The fans go wild as the Mexican Jumping Bean celebrates its huge win!
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Backstage, Batista is shown getting ready for his big matches. Suddenly, Stephanie McMahon walks in wearing a very low V-neck blouse and a stunningly short lacy miniskirt.
http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/6964/mooncorky15or.jpg
STEPHANIE: Hi Dave!
BATISTA: Hey Steph!
STEPHANIE: I know Hunter’s probably told you this before, but he never expected you to actually film and photograph that romp in Room 913 last year after the party. And well, you know, he’s held his end of the deal. He really put you over as a star. I mean, you beat him three times, and he didn’t even get retribution. And you’ve held the title since then. He’s even gotten additional titles for you. So… you think you could return that tape and those photographs of you two… ya know… doing your thing?
http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/4281/mooncorky26dq.jpg
BATISTA: Well, Steph, I definitely appreciate everything your husband has done for me, but how can I really be sure that he won’t just turn around and bury me after he’s gotten everything he’s needed?
Stephanie ponders this logical question for a moment, then cozies herself up to Batista.
STEPHANIE: You know… I don’t do this for anyone. But if you hand over that incriminating evidence, I can really make it worth your while, if you know what I mean. :naughty:
BATISTA: No, Steph, I’m not quite sure. Maybe you should show me. :cool:
STEPHANIE: Well…
http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/8141/mooncorky33me.jpg
Stephanie moves in and locks lips with Batista, who quickly obliges. Steph quickly wraps her legs around Batista’s torso as he picks her up by the rear, giving fans a nice flash of what HHH sees every night. The two move off screen, and right before the camera fades out, viewers hear the sound of Stephanie being thrown onto a bed, followed by a girly giggle and then some smooching sounds.
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[Commercial Break]
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Back in the arena after the break…
LILLIAN: The following match is the first ever Lita on a Pole Match!! First, making his way to the ring….
Edge’s music hits, and 63 Japanese children in the audience have epileptic seizures from the strobe lights. Edge comes down to the ring, and as he gets in, we finally get our first glimpse of Lita on the pole.
http://img391.imageshack.us/img391/8364/cheetahonapole0rm.jpg
STYLES: Um… actually, I’m not quite sure that was the original idea.
KING: What are you talking about??? This is great!!! Pussies!!!!! (cats)
STYLES: Maybe for you, but I think Lita was supposed to be tied to the pole, not actually inserted onto it through her… um… through her ‘gummy hole.’ :shifty:
COACH: Hey. She’s a slut.
OHHHHHH YEAAHHHHH!!!!
Matt Hardy’s music hits as Lita’s ex races down to the ring, slides in, and goes to clothesline Edge just before he realizes the position Lita has put herself in.
MATT: :eek:
http://www.wwe.com/superstars/smackdown/matthardy/photos/61.jpg
Using the diversion to his advantage, Edge spears Matt out of nowhere, then starts pounding on his head! Edge continues with the blows, completely ignoring the ref’s pleas to stop.
STYLES: Well, we all know Matt as the man who will not die, but I’ll bet he wish he was dead right now.
COACH: Why? Cuz he’s getting buried after making the career mistake of coming back to the WWE?
VINCE: [in the headset] #%(#(@%&#%&)(@*&%*!!!
STYLES: Erm… no, cuz he’s getting his head beaten to a pulp right now.
KING: Speaking of things that will not die, Hulk Hogan called yesterday and wanted to win the Royal Rumble so he can feud with John Cena.
STYLES & COACH: :wtf:
Edge picks Matt up and gives him an Edgecution DDT, driving his head into the mat! Wasting little time, he hooks Matt’s legs and locks in his modified figure four! Matt struggles against the pain for a few moments, then taps out, but knowing the match can’t be won via submission, Edge simply keeps the move locked in for another 30 seconds just to torture his former best friend! Eventually, Matt simply passes out from the pain, and Edge lets go.
STYLES: Now all he has to do is climb the turnbuckle and free Lita from the pole!
KING: I dunno, I think with all the vibration that the wrestling moves have caused, she’s kinda enjoying it…
Edge scales the turnbuckle and signals to Lita to remove herself from the pole, but Lita’s grins of ecstacy clearly show that she wants to stay on! Edge gets a little frustrated and tries to shake the pole a little, but this simply increases the pleasure on Lita’s face! Growing even more angry, Edge shakes harder, but Lita continues to smile!
LITA: Yes! YES! YES!!! MORE! MORE!!!! MMMMMMORE!!!!!
Clearly tired of her antics, Edge lets go and tries to yank Lita down. A sickening ripping sound is heard, and suddenly, Edge finds himself face to face with Lita!
STYLES: OH! MY! GAWD!!! Lita’s been impaled on the pole!!!!
KING: :rofl: She botched masturbation!!!!
http://img166.imageshack.us/img166/5351/shaggy021lg.jpg
Edge quickly jumps down from the turnbuckle and looks around suspiciously. Only the shocked and silenced crowd greets his stares. He spins around, then rolls out of the ring, hurdles over the barrier, and runs out of the arena through the crowd, leaving Lita impaled on the stick with that stupid death-grin on her face, and Matt Hardy still knocked out from earlier.
STYLES: Crap, we’re gonna really feel it from the FCC this time…. Um, here’s an ad for TAG Body Spray!!
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[Commercial Break]
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