Kane Knight
12-27-2005, 03:00 PM
With the end of the year right around the corner, it's a time to reflect on the tasteless, outrageous, or just plain stupid gimmicks of 2005. At the same time, it is also time to look forward to where you see the WWE going in the next year.
Here's where I think they're going to go.
Steven Richards will get another PTC style push, in which he leads a group of Holocaust deniers. His motto will still be "I'll show you, you'll see!"
Undertaker/Kane will happen at WM 22 after Kane disrupts the Royal Rumble battle between Orton and Taker (The first ever two man elimination chamber). Kane will cut Undertaker in half with a backhoe two weeks prior, only to be turned into a bigger coward than Orton in the next two weeks.
Rey Mysterio beats Batista at WM with the help of his new partner, Eddie's ghost.
Murdoch will turn face, because if there's one constant in the business, it's that being ugly (Foley), senile (Flair), fat (Vis) or retarded (Cena) gets you over.
Angle will be caught smuggling WMDs to the insurgents in Iraq. Sadly, only half his fans will be disappointed in how low the angle's gotten.
Orton will actually have a sex change. Seriously, I've seen Divas stand up better to the Undertaker. Undertaker will rape him live on TV, and the fans will love it.
Vince will keep dropping Hart's name, wrestling a Valetine's day card. Then Hart's old motorcycle. Finally, he will eat a cow heart.
Edge will use an angry face and say everything as though entirely sarcastic. He's the new gay icon.
Trish is gonna get her ass kicked by Mickie's ex GF, a big honking deisel dyke.
Melina's just gonna get her ass and tits tattooed with censor bars.
Steve Austin will main event the Raw side of WM.
...At least, it'll be booked that way. Austin will walk out and Gilberg vs an old tampon will be pushed up in its place.
Cena will add the "LOL" (Leg-Over Lariat) to his roster of moves, and will team with Matt Hardy. Hardy's own moves will be renamed "OMG" and "WTF." They will then promptly commit suicide.
Tim White will return as sort of an Obi-Wan Kenobi character, guiding Triple H as Flair reveals that he is Hunter's father.
Shelton's extended family will make appearances, including his fifteen illegitimate children.
Here's where I think they're going to go.
Steven Richards will get another PTC style push, in which he leads a group of Holocaust deniers. His motto will still be "I'll show you, you'll see!"
Undertaker/Kane will happen at WM 22 after Kane disrupts the Royal Rumble battle between Orton and Taker (The first ever two man elimination chamber). Kane will cut Undertaker in half with a backhoe two weeks prior, only to be turned into a bigger coward than Orton in the next two weeks.
Rey Mysterio beats Batista at WM with the help of his new partner, Eddie's ghost.
Murdoch will turn face, because if there's one constant in the business, it's that being ugly (Foley), senile (Flair), fat (Vis) or retarded (Cena) gets you over.
Angle will be caught smuggling WMDs to the insurgents in Iraq. Sadly, only half his fans will be disappointed in how low the angle's gotten.
Orton will actually have a sex change. Seriously, I've seen Divas stand up better to the Undertaker. Undertaker will rape him live on TV, and the fans will love it.
Vince will keep dropping Hart's name, wrestling a Valetine's day card. Then Hart's old motorcycle. Finally, he will eat a cow heart.
Edge will use an angry face and say everything as though entirely sarcastic. He's the new gay icon.
Trish is gonna get her ass kicked by Mickie's ex GF, a big honking deisel dyke.
Melina's just gonna get her ass and tits tattooed with censor bars.
Steve Austin will main event the Raw side of WM.
...At least, it'll be booked that way. Austin will walk out and Gilberg vs an old tampon will be pushed up in its place.
Cena will add the "LOL" (Leg-Over Lariat) to his roster of moves, and will team with Matt Hardy. Hardy's own moves will be renamed "OMG" and "WTF." They will then promptly commit suicide.
Tim White will return as sort of an Obi-Wan Kenobi character, guiding Triple H as Flair reveals that he is Hunter's father.
Shelton's extended family will make appearances, including his fifteen illegitimate children.