Favorite Simpsons Quote for a positive Rep

[Splaya]

Post your favorite Simpsons Quote and the best 3 will get a positive rep from me.



Mine is: Homer playing the answering machine during the episode where Bart steals the video game from the store. "Hello Mutha, Hello Fatha, Here I am at, Camp Granada. Homer: Marge is Lisa at Camp Granada???

[DaveWadding]

The Con artist episode:

*Grampa escapes the Retirement Castle in a wheelchair*

Grampa: "I'm like Mint Jelly...I'M ON THE LAM!"

[loopydate]

There are too many great ones to name, but the one that springs immediately to mind is

Dr. Nick: [singing] The kneebone's connected to the... something. The something's connected to the... red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch. ...Uh oh.

[John la Rock]

It was the one episode with Sideshow Bob and his brother

Ralph said "I think I wet my bed."

[el fregadero]

<font color=teal>"D'oh".</font>

[Vietnamese Crippler]

Listen to me you, when I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and shove 'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay?! And I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat.

[Mikey]

Ralph Wiggum: Why does everybody run when they see me? *wets pants and smiles*

[PoisonIvy]

You gave both dogs away? You know I how I feel about giving!

[AareDub]

Homer: "Look Marge, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order. You want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! WhEN you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo, and that's your best friend's face, then you'll know what to do! Forget it Marge, it's CHINATOWN!!"

[Savio]

"Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians."

[Gertner]

Homer after Steven hawking is done talking "Larry Flynt is right!"

[FakeLaser]

Homer, trying to impress the young and rich after changing his name to Max Power:

"So then I said, if this is the International House of Pancakes, then how come I can't eat the walls?"

[The Mask]

Tour Guide: Welcome to Itchy and Scratchy land, the only place where nothing can possiblie go wrong...That's possibly go wrong. That's the first thing that's ever gone wrong.

[What Would Kevin Do?]

" You call that a knife.... THIS IS A KNIFE..."

"That's a spoon..."

I see you've played knify spoony before."

[Vega]

"My Cat's breath smells like cat food"
"hey there SuperNintendo chalmers"
"I bent my Wookie"

[loopydate]

"I bent my Wookie"

I have an "I Bent My Wookie" t-shirt. :D

[Mikey]

I have an "I Bent My Wookie" t-shirt. :D

:love:

[samichna]

Homer: "Dear God, why do you mock me?"
Marge: "Homer, that's not God. That's a waffle Bart tossed up there."
<i>*Homer peels waffle off the ceiling*</i>
Homer: "Dear Lord, I know I shouldn't eat thee..."
<i>*Homer eats the waffle*</i>
Homer: "Mmm...sacrilicious...."

[samichna]

LMAO at thread.

Homer is the man

[Splaya]

Hello principal skinner, Hello Supernintendo Chalmers. *Looks a Lisa* I'm learnding.


*In the monorail episode* Bart: Dad are we going to die. Homer: Yes son, but at least we will take a lot of innocent people with us"


Some off the top of my head again :D

[Tornado]

<font color=#33ffff>Comic Book Guy: "Excuse me Satnos, if that is your real name, BARTSIMPSON, but your phoney credit care is no good here. Now make like my pants, and split."
----
Cletus: "Hey you know what, I could call my ma while i'm up here.....HEY MA! GET OFF THE DANG ROOF"
---
Homer: "What are you gonna do, release the hounds, or the bees? Or the hounds that have bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you?"
---
Smithers: "Errr sir, theres a sweet young boy at the door..."
Burns: "Release the Hounds"</font>

[BigGammy v1.0]

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals...except the weasel.

Homer: Simpson, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history! From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree...

Homer: I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T!

Homer: Yeah Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!

Homer: Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

Homer: They have the Internet on computers now?

Homer: To start, press the Any key. Hmmm...where's the Any key?

Bart: There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the Boogie Man or Michael Jackson.

Ralph: My knob tastes funny!

[Jonster]

<font color="#99CCFF">Couldn't remember the exact wording so:
June Bellamy, the voice of Itchy & Scratchy. Homer is amazed and amused that a woman does those voices.

Homer: How'd you get to be so good?
June: Oh, just experience I suppose. I started out as Roadrunner.
[as Roadrunner] Meep!
Homer: You mean "meep-meep"?
June: No, they only paid me to say it once, then they doubled it up on the soundtrack.
[to herself] Cheap bastards.</font>

[The Destroyer]

Homer: You see, Marge? Do you see?
Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?
Homer: Never, Marge! Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

Burns: Listen, Senor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler.
Spielbergo: Er, Schindler es bueno, Senor Burns es el diablo.
Burns: Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod: we're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, dammit! Now go out there and win me that festival!

And many more which I can't be bothered tracking down...

[Cactus Sid]

Homer: .... OH PLEASE GOD HELP ME!
{Phone Rings}
Homer: ...y'ello?
Man: Hello Homer, this is God.....frey Jones from the hit Television show, Rock Bottom

[Innovator]

"I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer"
"Center holds it, HOLDS IT, HOLDS IT!!!!"
"Oh God I wasn't supposed to get pudding in my eye"

[MVP]

Homer: "How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

Homer: [Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
"Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You are gay.' "

[SukkaChump]

*Mr Burns going up an escelator(sp?)*

"i'm a BIG boy.."

[Innovator]

it tastes like burning

[KayfabeMan]

HOMER: No TV and no beer make Homer something something...
MARGE: Go crazy?
HOMER: Don't mind if I do...
----------
HOMER: You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt,
but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed
out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might
have brain damage.
BART: Dad, what's the point of this story?
HOMER: I like stories.
----------
LISA: It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you.
ABE: It's rotten being old. No one listens to you.
HOMER: I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me;
no matter how dumb my suggestions are.

[Hired Hitman]

Homer: Mel Gibson is just a guy Marge. He's no different than me or Lenny.
Marge: Were you or Lenny ever named Sexiest Man Alive?
Homer: I'm not certain about Lenny...

Lenny: Miss Miss! Sorry, I was calling the waitress. This split you sold me is making me choke!
Homer: Lenny...
Lenny: What?! I payed 7.10 for this split!
Carl: Will you at least call it a banana split you dumbwad?
Lenny: Spare me your gutter mouth!

Lenny: Aw, if they hire a woman we won't be able to spit on the floor.
Carl: And we can't take off our pants when it gets real hot.
Homer: And we won't be able to pee in the drinking fountain... (Lenny and Carl stare at him) Er, I mean, not... you know, if we wanted to... not that I ever did...

most of the best ones involve Lenny :love: :D

[Hired Hitman]

Homer
I can't go to jail! I heard they pee in a cup and throw it on you! I saw it in a movie once.
IRS Agent
You won't be seeing any prison movies where your going... prison!

Carl: You know, I was hexed by a troll and a leprechaun cured that right up.
Lenny: Hey you know what's even better is Jesus. He's like.. 6 leprechauns!
Carl: Yeah, but a lot harder to catch. Go with the leprechaun.

[John la Rock]

So when does this contest end?

[Razor Rybek]

Homer sings...."Shavin Ma Shoulders"

But my all time fave has got be...

Homer:Hello,My name is Mr Burns,I believe you have a letter for me
Man at Counter:OK Mr Burns, whats your first name
Homer:............I Don't Know
:rofl:

[The Iron Yuppie]

Burns: "Smithers, are they booing me?"

Smithers: "Err, no sir, they're saying 'Boo-urns!'"

Burns(to crowd):"Are you saying 'Boo!" or "Boo-urns!'?"

Crowd: "Boo!"

Hans Moleman: "I was saying 'Boo-urns!"

[El Santo]

Bart: Listen, Ned Flanders murdered his wife!
Homer: But why? She's such a fox. I mean, what's on Fox tonight? Something ribald, no doubt.

____________


Homer: In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the woeeeemen...

____________

Homer: Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

[Savio]

I think the funniest one is when they sit down the wall rotates around and it shows flanders chained to the wall with and evil scientist smiling. How about you?

[Shaggy]

There's to many to even choose a best one.

There all great. But I always liked the Halloween versions. They never showed the coach but the beginnings were always funny.

[Mikey]

Where they see the old versions of themselves

[Savio]

There's to many to even choose a best one.

There all great. But I always liked the Halloween versions. They never showed the coach but the beginnings were always funny.

[Xero]

The one with the circus and dancers and stuff :lol:

[BigDaddyCool]

Who needs to keep reaching for that rainbow?

[Splaya]

homer

[Dave Youell]

The Steel Industry

[Savio]

Answer the Question for a rep;

Name a job that Homer had. (only post one.)

[Mike the Metal Ed]

Barney's Bowl-a-Rama, pin monkey.

[The Destroyer]

Ridiculously easy.

Beer baron.

[loopydate]

Personal assistant to Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger.

[Smitty]

Mr. Plow

[BigDaddyCool]

The Steel Industry

Correct

[loopydate]

They work hard...and they play hard!

[Smitty]

They work hard...and they play hard!

"Hot stuff coming through"..."ooh, there's a spark in your hair!" "GET IT, GET IT!"

[Supreme Olajuwon]

SpringShield

[OssMan]

Driver of the tram that they built over main street.

[MVP]

Blackjack dealer.

[Mikey]

bodygaurd

[mitchables]

Semi-Trailer Driver.

[Shaggy]

co producer or what ever he was when he was helping Mel Gibson write the remake to Mr. Smith goes to Washington.

[jasonvoorhees]

fortune cookie writer

[Penner]

he was a nuclear technician before he became a safety technician at the plant

[The Chosen 1]

Assistant to Mr Burns, or whatever Smitthers was.

[Splaya]

He worked under that one guy in Capitol City who gave him a lot of crap for his house but his family was unhappy.

[DS]

He created/sold Tomacco.

[Funky Fly]

He was the mascot for the baseball team. Dancin' Homer.

[The Icon of Elisim]

Greese baron

[The Show Off]

Day care owner

[RGWhat316]

Ran the Kwick-E-Mart a couple times when Apu was out.

[Boondock Saint]

Member of the B-Sharps singing group.

[Vega]

He worked at a Nuclear Power Plant once I believe :shifty:

[Paranoid Rattlesnake]

Bartender when he ran his own bar in his garage

[Paranoid Rattlesnake]

Cairopractor

[Ska-Wars]

Monorail conductor

[xXxClouderxXx]

YEA HE HAD A KILLER TRUCK when he was MR.PLOW

homer has had alot of jobs and u should kno this if ur a true fan dude

[The Mackem]

Food critic

[TheNamelessOne]

Leader of the Stonecutters.

[Wengerland]

In the navy or something.

Same episode revealed that he wasn't a porn star(from Grandpa)

[Dazz]

He worked under that one guy in Capitol City who gave him a lot of crap for his house but his family was unhappy.
That wasn't Capitol City. That was for Hank Scorpio, can't remember his job description.


And Door-to-door sugar salesman.

[Dazz]

Work for his brother Herb designing a new car for the average American.

Him and Grandpa sold Simpsons and son 'revitalising' tonic.

[Supreme Olajuwon]

He was the mascot for the baseball team. Dancin' Homer.
Hungry Hungry Homer :rant:

[loopydate]

Hungry Hungry Homer :rant:

Different ep. He was Dancin' Homer intentionally. ;)

[loopydate]

That wasn't Capitol City. That was for Hank Scorpio, can't remember his job description.


And Door-to-door sugar salesman.

It was Cypress Creek. I don't remember his specific job, but he was helping Scorpio get his nuclear reactor operational for Project Arcturis.

[KillerWolf]

missionary

[Wengerland]

He tried to sell springs once too.

[KillerWolf]

astronaut

[Wengerland]

I guess you could include housesitter for Mr. Burns.

[loopydate]

(only post one.)

[Wengerland]

Sorry,i'll credit my previous one to Rob Ban Fan,so rep him instead.

[loopydate]

Sorry,i'll credit my previous one to Rob Ban Fan,so rep him instead.

LOL.

I only posted that, 'cause I could have kept going if I wanted to, but I wanted to see what else other people could come up with.

[The Destroyer]

Homophobe.

Hey, Homer himself listed it along with all his other jobs! :shifty:

[Savio]

Homophobe.

Hey, Homer himself listed it along with all his other jobs! :shifty:
Are you talking about that time when he just joined spring sheild.

[ColdwaVer]

Loch Ness Monster Hunter

[Shaggy]

He was Mr. Burns money joke monkey. I forgot rhe real name of it. But yall know what im talking about. The episode in which he dressed like a panda and got humped by the other Panda.

[Guest #1]

Owner of the Denver Broncos :lol:

[loopydate]

He was Mr. Burns money joke monkey. I forgot rhe real name of it. But yall know what im talking about. The episode in which he dressed like a panda and got humped by the other Panda.

"Prank monkey."

That episode gave us one of my five favorite Simpsons lines ever: "Ow! My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!"

[Frank Grimes Jnr]

If it hasnt been already mentioned, " Vigilante" or " Ambulance officer."

[Shaggy]

"Prank monkey."

That episode gave us one of my five favorite Simpsons lines ever: "Ow! My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!"

yea that was it. Prank Monkey....Thanks

[Savio]

Say a famous catch phrase from the simpsons and who says it.

[Shaggy]

I bent my wookie-Ralph Wiggum

[Savio]

I'm talking more about catch pharses but I'll accept that seeing as though its on t-shirts. (You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Shaggy again.[you'll get it soon enough])

[DaveWadding]

D'OH! - Homer

[OssMan]

What's a battle?-Ralph Wiggum

[DaveWadding]

Don't have a cow, man! - Bart

[DaveWadding]

Hi diddly ho there, neighbor - Ned Flanders

[OssMan]

Ay Carumba!-Bart

[OssMan]

Rod, Tod, this is God!-Bart

[Savio]

only do one please

[Funky Fly]

Apu - "Thank you, come again."

[jasonvoorhees]

Mr. Burns- Excellent

[Innovator]

ha ha - Nelson

[Mr. Nerfect]

"Hmmm". -Marge

[Mr. Nerfect]

Shaffeur.

[el fregadero]

<font color=teal>"That's nice work, boys" - Chief Wiggum</font>

[Wengerland]

Barney just burps,if you accept that.:-\

[RGWhat316]

Well, if it's accepted, what he's known for
"snore"- Grandpa Simpson

[deathtrap]

I'm posting more than one because I don't know if anyone already posted it.
Bodygaurd
Kwik E Mart clerk.
Owner of the museum for Hollywood jerks.
Timetraveller.
singer in a barbershop quartet.

[loopydate]

"Hey hey!"
- Herschel Schmoikel ("Krusty The Clown") Krustofski

[Shaggy]

I dont see it on here yet but I cant post another one. I will give yall a hint though and maybe someone will then post it.

HINT IS: Dr. Nick

[John la Rock]

"I think I wet my bed" Ralph

[da_king]

<font color="#ccffcc">
i was gonna do it anyways


hellllllllloooooooo everybody-dr. nick


</font>

[OssMan]

's last name. First person to get it right wins. I'll give you a rep or something. Not like it matters. K go. :|

[Frank Grimes Jnr]

NAHASAPEEMAPETALON

[jasonvoorhees]

Is Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.

[Supreme Olajuwon]

yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss - Vincent Price type guy who doesnt have a name but does that creepy voice dealie

[Optik]

Excellent-Mr. Burns

[Mike the Metal Ed]

Myeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees? - Stroke guy at Costingtons/resturant.

[Supreme Olajuwon]

hey Hardkore UK way to be dumb

[Kris P Lettus]

"mmmmmmmmmmmmm *insert random thing*"-Homer

[OssMan]

Sorry but Grimey got it first. So he wins. Maybe another question later.

[Guest #1]

Hello I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from... - Troy McClure

[Vega]

"Eat my shorts" - Bart

[Savio]

This is the last one I'm doing, so if any one wants to take over then its ok with me.

[deathtrap]

'Muchos Dios'- Bumblebee Man

[loopydate]

'Muchos Dios'- Bumblebee Man

Many God?

[loopydate]

'Muchos Dios'- Bumblebee Man

"Many God?"

[jasonvoorhees]

Isn't it o dios mio, or something like that.

[El Santo]

I think it's "Madre del Dios!", or Mother of God or something.

[El Santo]

"Skin-NERRRR!" --- Superintendent Chalmers

[KillerWolf]

<font color="#ccffcc">
i was gonna do it anyways


hellllllllloooooooo everybody-dr. nick


</font>
dude, it's "hi everybody"

[KillerWolf]

"i'll bide my time" -C.M. BURNS

[jasonvoorhees]

Here is a new one from Homer Simpson
"Marge I am not gonna lie to you" then he reads a newspaper :lol:

[Savio]

Yeah homer always does stuff like that like when he was the beer barron

[CBright7831]

"RELEASE THE HOUNDS!!!!" - Mr. Burns

[jasonvoorhees]

This is not a catch phrase but it was funny i saw it yesterday new episode,
Homer comes into the jewery store, the man that says Myeeeeeeees was selling stuff he looks at homer with his clothes all messed up like a hobo, the sellers says Oooooooooooh NO OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOO then homers show the cash and the man says OOOOOOOOOOH YES, it was funny :rofl:

[Boondock Saint]

Worst. ____. Ever. - Comic Book Guy

[jasonvoorhees]

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH - Duff Man

[Penner]

thank you, come again - apu

[Mikey]

whoaaaaaaaaaa- Otto

[thuganomicalcrippler]

"Um...Homer Simpson, sir." - Smithers

[mitchables]

Alright, I've seen alot of people claiming to be Simpsonmaniacs on these forums, and I maintain that the honour is shared between Penner and I.

Anyway, let's test your REAL Simpson mettle. This'll separate the casual fans from the borderline obsessed.

It's not a good thing, by the way. :$

1. How many brothers does Bleeding Gums Murphy have and what does/do he/they do?

2. How many DuffMen have there been?

3. How many people has Moe killed?

4. What is Selma's full last name?

5. What are the DuffMen's first names?

6. What is Fat Tony's last name?

7. Give me 6 professions that the unfortunate Gil has undertaken since his introduction to the series.

8. What is Jebediah Springfield's official full name?

9. What is Jebediah Springfield's real full name?

10. What are Linguo's arms made of?

11. Ned Flanders is apparently 60 years old. What evidence is given that suggests this is entirely impossible, despite his claims otherwise?

12. In "Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington", what does Marge do that she shouldn't be able to?

13. How many times has Moe died?

14. What is "The Sea Captain"'s real (full) name?

15. What is Maggie's monetary value?

[Shaved Monkey]

Wow I thought I knew alot about the Simpsons, apparently not, I bow to your geekness :D

[loopydate]

Just off the top of my head...

1. How many brothers does Bleeding Gums Murphy have and what does/do he/they do? He has a brother who's some kinda doctor. He used to laugh at the most inappropriate things. (Hibbert)

2. How many DuffMen have there been?

3. How many people has Moe killed?

4. What is Selma's full last name? Selma Bouvier Terwilliger Hutz McClure.

5. What are the DuffMen's first names?

6. What is Fat Tony's last name?

7. Give me 6 professions that the unfortunate Gil has undertaken since his introduction to the series. Computer salesman (how many can I put you down for? Please say a lot!), used-car salesman (not the balloon! I've been sleeping in there!), realtor, shoe salesman, lawyer, ?

8. What is Jebediah Springfield's official full name? Jebediah Obediah Zachariah Springfield (not sure, but it's something like that)

9. What is Jebediah Springfield's real full name? Hans Sprungfeld

10. What are Linguo's arms made of?

11. Ned Flanders is apparently 60 years old. What evidence is given that suggests this is entirely impossible, despite his claims otherwise? His parents were beatniks, which wasn't really a big craze in the '40s.

12. In "Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington", what does Marge do that she shouldn't be able to?

13. How many times has Moe died?

14. What is "The Sea Captain"'s real (full) name? His last name is McCallister, but I don't know his first.

15. What is Maggie's monetary value? The joke answer is "NRA4EVER," and I used to know the real one, but it escapes me now.

[91]

1. How many brothers does Bleeding Gums Murphy have and what does/do he/they do?

One that I know of - Dr. Julius Hibbert. At least we're ASSUMING they're brothers anyway, it's never confirmed as much despite the obvious "you're supposed to assume this" nature. Oh, and are you counting any of the Cosbys in there, bearing in mind that was just a fictional storyline for a fictional episode of the same show, and I'm not even sure what the deal there was either..

2. How many DuffMen have there been?

There's been more than one? This is in the newer episodes I've not seen yet, isn't it?

3. How many people has Moe killed?

He killed the original Alfalfa (sp), that much I remember.

4. What is Selma's full last name?

Selma Bouvier Terwilliger Hutz McClure.

5. What are the DuffMen's first names?

Yeah, still can't tell you about Duffmen.

6. What is Fat Tony's last name?

Isn't it Damico or something?

7. Give me 6 professions that the unfortunate Gil has undertaken since his introduction to the series.

Let's see - selling used cars, selling houses, selling and installing cheap computers, selling doorbells and I think I read he was replacing Lionel Hutz as the cheap lawyer, though I've not seen them. Of course, I'm missing one, but still...

8. What is Jebediah Springfield's official full name?

Off the top of my head? Forget it, he has, like, six names, most ending in 'iah'.

9. What is Jebediah Springfield's real full name?

Hans Sprungfeld. Easy enough.

10. What are Linguo's arms made of?

Who?

11. Ned Flanders is apparently 60 years old. What evidence is given that suggests this is entirely impossible, despite his claims otherwise?

Well his being raised by beatniks would surely have meant he was born in the fifties or sixties. Mind you, since the characters never age, in ten or twenty or so years, he'll be able to pass as sixty and be the same age as he is now... I'm confusing myself.

12. In "Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington", what does Marge do that she shouldn't be able to?

Don't know, but Bart shouldn't have been able to get into the Spirit of St. Louis either.

13. How many times has Moe died?

Homer killed him in one Halloween episode, he tried to fake his own death and he's attempted suicide on several occassions, but I'm not giving you a number.

14. What is "The Sea Captain"'s real (full) name?

I think his surname is McAllister (and yet he was one of the "nameless" people Homer read out on his Superbowl bus trip list). His first name? Uhhh, Captain?

15. What is Maggie's monetary value?

Ahhh, again, not something I remember off the top of my head. I think it's one hundred and something dollars and something cents. There's a 7 in there somewhere...

[Kane Knight]

Only six vocations for Gil?

God, the guy's had (and lost) more jobs than an army of stoners.

[Xero]

1. How many brothers does Bleeding Gums Murphy have and what does/do he/they do?
Hibbert- Doctor
His "Long Lost" twin brother - Shelbyville Orphanage Owner....
More if you count the Cosbys...

2. How many DuffMen have there been?
???

3. How many people has Moe killed?
???

4. What is Selma's full last name?
???

5. What are the DuffMen's first names?
???

6. What is Fat Tony's last name?
???

7. Give me 6 professions that the unfortunate Gil has undertaken since his introduction to the series.
Shoe Salesman, Realtor, Lawyer, Computer Salesman, Car Salesman, Vaccumme Door to Door salesman

8. What is Jebediah Springfield's official full name?
???

9. What is Jebediah Springfield's real full name?
Hans Sprungfeld

10. What are Linguo's arms made of?
Penciles or Slinkies/Springs?

11. Ned Flanders is apparently 60 years old. What evidence is given that suggests this is entirely impossible, despite his claims otherwise?
Beatnicks....

12. In "Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington", what does Marge do that she shouldn't be able to?
Fly, for she had a fear of flying on a later episode where it is revealed that her father was a flight attendant...

13. How many times has Moe died?
???

14. What is "The Sea Captain"'s real (full) name?
Captian McCallister

15. What is Maggie's monetary value?
700 somthing... It's supposed to be the amount it takes to raise a baby years ago....

[91]

Damnit, flying, I can't believe I missed that one. I was thinking was too literally for my own good.

[samichna]

6. What is Fat Tony's last name?




In an early episode they called him William "Fat Tony" Williams, but later on he was called Fat Tony D'Amico, so I guess there are two answers.

[Azriel]

I believe Linguo's legs were pencils and his arms were springs

[AareDub]

Maggie's price is 847.53
I think the rest of them that I knew have already been answered.

I'm gonna throw out a couple of my own...

What is the phone number to Moe's bar? (this means the actual numbers)

What is the name of the alien chef?

What is Martin's IQ?

What is Lisa's IQ?

Who killed Snowball I?

How old is Hans Moleman?

[The Man of Skill]

There have been at least two Duffmen. That I know.

"Duffman? I thought you were dead?"-"Duffman can never die! Only the actors who play him! OH YEAH!!"

Ft Tony = Anthony "Fat Tony" Demico.

[deathtrap]

1. How many brothers does Bleeding Gums Murphy have and what does/do he/they do? Hbbert- Doctor.
Long lost twin.
Bill Cosby- TV presenter. Other brothers hinted at 'Not another uncle'

2. How many DuffMen have there been?
2.

3. How many people has Moe killed?
One of the 'Rascals' after the rascal nicked Moe's gag

4. What is Selma's full last name?
Selma Bouvier terwilleger Hutz McClure

5. What are the DuffMen's first names?
Larry, Sid

6. What is Fat Tony's last name?
Damico

7. Give me 6 professions that the unfortunate Gil has undertaken since his introduction to the series.
Red Blazer Realty
Used Car Lot
Audit IRS
Salesman at a shoe shop
Lawyer
Salesman for Senor Ding Dong

8. What is Jebediah Springfield's official full name?
Jebediah Obadiah Zachariah Jenediah Springfield(admitted, a bit of help)

9. What is Jebediah Springfield's real full name?
Hans Sprungfield

10. What are Linguo's arms made of?
Magnet, tennis ball, tinker toy

11. Ned Flanders is apparently 60 years old. What evidence is given that suggests this is entirely impossible, despite his claims otherwise?
His psycharitrist treated him when he was a child, when the doctor was at least 30. 60 years on, the Doctor would be 90-100. He is obviously younger.

12. In "Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington", what does Marge do that she shouldn't be able to?
Sees the Presidents bathroom

13. How many times has Moe died?1

14. What is "The Sea Captain"'s real (full) name?
Horatio McAllister
15. What is Maggie's monetary value? 847.63 dollars

[Savio]

1. How many brothers does Bleeding Gums Murphy have and what does/do he/they do?
3
2. How many DuffMen have there been?
3
3. How many people has Moe killed?
2
4. What is Selma's full last name?
Is she the one married 20 times?
5. What are the DuffMen's first names?
Larry?
6. What is Fat Tony's last name?
its italian
7. Give me 6 professions that the unfortunate Gil has undertaken since his introduction to the series.
Car sales men Lawyer Ding Dong salesmen...
8. What is Jebediah Springfield's official full name?
Bill
9. What is Jebediah Springfield's real full name?
Prirate Jebediah
10. What are Linguo's arms made of?
Tinker toys
11. Ned Flanders is apparently 60 years old. What evidence is given that suggests this is entirely impossible, despite his claims otherwise?
I don't know
12. In "Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington", what does Marge do that she shouldn't be able to?
Let homer act stupid
13. How many times has Moe died?
2 times
14. What is "The Sea Captain"'s real (full) name?
Bill clinton
15. What is Maggie's monetary value?
?4??7

[Savio]

They should take out the episode where lisa think shes getting dumb because there's 2 episodes that make that one false.

[The Mackem]

Gill worked in the Quick-e-mart as well didn't he?

"Now's gil''s time to clean up...ow my back!"

Or something to that effect.

[Kane Knight]

1. How many brothers does Bleeding Gums Murphy have and what does/do he/they do? Hbbert- Doctor.
Long lost twin.
Is that correct? That would make 2 siblings for Hibbert (Both twins, I think).

[Bricktop]

Is that correct? That would make 2 siblings for Hibbert (Both twins, I think).

This is correct. See the eppisode where homer meets Herb Powell for the first time. Season three.

[Tornado]

1. How many brothers does Bleeding Gums Murphy have and what does/do he/they do?
I THINK it's 2. One is Dr Hibbert, a Doctor who laughs innapropriatly, and the other runs the Shelbyville Orphanage?
Also, I seem to remember him mentioning Bill Cosby was a brother.

2. How many DuffMen have there been?
2

3. How many people has Moe killed?
1. It was one of the Little Rascals for stealing Moes "Look in the exahust of a car" gag.

4. What is Selma's full last name?
Bouvier-Terwilliger-Hutz-McLure

5. What are the DuffMen's first names?
I can only think of one, Larry

6. What is Fat Tony's last name?
Well,his full name is Anthony "Fat Tony" DeMico

7. Give me 6 professions that the unfortunate Gil has undertaken since his introduction to the series.
Red Blazer Reality (Estate Agent), DoorBell salesman for Senior Ding Dong, Computer Salesman for Coleco, Used Car Salesman, Canyanero Salesman...I think, Shoe Salesman, Kwik-E-Mart Employee

8. What is Jebediah Springfield's official full name?
Jebidiah Zachiria Obidiah....Springfield

9. What is Jebediah Springfield's real full name?
Hans Sprungfeld

10. What are Linguo's arms made of?
Pencils?

11. Ned Flanders is apparently 60 years old. What evidence is given that suggests this is entirely impossible, despite his claims otherwise?
Beatnik parents?...also, his Pscyhiatric Doctor, he sees the same one as a child and adult....Dr Foster I think he was called.

12. In "Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington", what does Marge do that she shouldn't be able to?
Flew on a plane...she has a fear of flying according to a later episode

13. How many times has Moe died?


14. What is "The Sea Captain"'s real (full) name?
......McCallister

15. What is Maggie's monetary value?



I'm gonna throw out a couple of my own...

What is the phone number to Moe's bar? (this means the actual numbers)
76484377 (S-M-I-T-H-E-R-S)

What is the name of the alien chef?
Cerlak the Preparer....i think

What is Martin's IQ?
??

What is Lisa's IQ?
??

Who killed Snowball I?
A Chrysler

How old is Hans Moleman?
35-ish

[Mike the Metal Ed]

2. How many DuffMen have there been?
3

5. What are the DuffMen's first names?
Sid, Larry, and I'm sure theres another one, can't think of it though.
"Duffman can never die, only those who play him. Ooooh YEAH!"

13. How many times has Moe died?
Once, under the knife during his facelift.

14. What is "The Sea Captain"'s real (full) name?
Captain McCallister :?:

15. What is Maggie's monetary value?
$847.63

[Mike the Metal Ed]

I think Hans Moleman is 31.

[Tornado]

Speaking of DuffMan, check the shirt...:cool:

[jasonvoorhees]

What are Linguo's arms made of?
I think they made of a broom
I think he is that little robot that told Hommer dad i need legs and he left.

[OssMan]

Here's a few:

The bully counselors at Kamp Krusty single out Wendell as a what?

In "Lisa Gets an A," Marge admits to oiling what posession of Lisa's?

When Homer and Bart are left at home while the girls go to the ballet, what do they eat for dinner?

[Penner]

Here's a few:

The bully counselors at Kamp Krusty single out Wendell as a what?


1. troublemaker?

[AareDub]

A Chrysler

Maybe I should've been more specific. Who was driving the car?

The first two answers are right though (or close enough on the alien thing). Somebody else got Moleman's age right, he's 31.

[AareDub]

Oh and Linguo's hands are made of those things, not sure of their actual name, Tinker Toys maybe? Little wheel things that you can stick sticks into and stuff. For bonus points his right hand is a magnet while his left hand has a little white glove.

[The Destroyer]

Who killed Snowball I?
The Mayor's brother, Clovis.

[Penner]

1. How many brothers does Bleeding Gums Murphy have and what does/do he/they do?
One is Hibbert, and that's his long lost brother. I think he also has a twin and Bill Cosby as one.

2. How many DuffMen have there been?
2.

3. How many people has Moe killed?
He did kill the orphan that was owned by the studio in the production of Little Rascals.

4. What is Selma's full last name?
Selma Terwilliger Hutz McClure

5. What are the DuffMen's first names?
Sid

6. What is Fat Tony's last name?
D'Amico

7. Give me 6 professions that the unfortunate Gil has undertaken since his introduction to the series.
Car Salesman
House Realtor
Computer Salesman
That's all I can think of.

8. What is Jebediah Springfield's official full name?
I think it was Jebediah Zachariah Obediah Zachariah Springfield

9. What is Jebediah Springfield's real full name?
Hans Sprungfeld

10. What are Linguo's arms made of?

11. Ned Flanders is apparently 60 years old. What evidence is given that suggests this is entirely impossible, despite his claims otherwise?
His parents.

12. In "Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington", what does Marge do that she shouldn't be able to?
Flew on a plane?

13. How many times has Moe died?
I don't know.

14. What is "The Sea Captain"'s real (full) name?
I don't know

15. What is Maggie's monetary value?
847.53 or something

[Hired Hitman]

I loved when Linguo was correcting the mafia thugs and it sounded like he was talking back to them :D

[Hired Hitman]

Louie: They's throwing robots!
Linguo: They are throwing robots.
Legs: He's disrespecting us. Shuttupa you face!
Linguo: Shut up your face!
Legs: Wassamatta you?
Louie: You aint so big.
Legs: Me and him are gonna whack you in the Labonza!
Linguo: Bad... grammar... overload. Error! Error!

:cool:

[The Destroyer]

In "Lisa Gets an A," Marge admits to oiling what posession of Lisa's?
The hinge on her diary.

[deathtrap]

Hans is 21 isnt he?

[deathtrap]

Oops, sorry.

what is Comic Book Guy's real name?

[Hired Hitman]

...he has a name? :eek:

[DaveWadding]

Oops, sorry.

what is Comic Book Guy's real name?
Louis Lane.

That was easy. :$

[Savio]

2. How many DuffMen have there been?
2.

2 or 3? Rremember homer's killer shot him?

[The Destroyer]

Louis Lane.

That was easy. :$
No it's not, since it's never been mentioned in the series.

[Savio]

Where do the simpsons live (Where do all the hints point to)?
If you answer post a question.

[Savio]

Does every one not know or not care?

[Supreme Olajuwon]

Northern Kentucky

[mitchables]

What cincyreds00 said.

[Vega]

Springfield :shifty:

[mitchables]

Very clever, Vega. :p

[El Santo]

Or Northern Missouri (which is what was mentioned the second time "Behind the Laughter" aired).

But likely Springfield is in Washington state, Groening's old home.

[Savio]

Post a question someone.

[Kapoutman]

Name the players on the softball team Mr.Burns originally wanted to hire. (The team with all the dead players) :shifty:

[Savio]

Post them
---------
Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.

[DaveWadding]

Homer as Odysseus: "Mmm...this is the next best thing to eatin' Lenny"

Grampa: "I'm like mint jelly, I'm on the lam[b]!"

[Splaya]

Sunrise, Sunset, Sunrise, Sunset, Sunrise sunset sunrise sunset sunr...........AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[loopydate]

APU: Ahhhhh, the searing hot kiss of lead. How I missed you. (beat) I mean...I think I'm dying.

MILHOUSE: I was watching. I saw the whole thing. First it started falling over. Then it fell over.

HOMER: That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things, too.

The entire "McDonald's" conversation. Won't reprint the entire thing here.

SQUEAKY-VOICED TEEN: Here's your taco, Mister. Whoops. It fell in the fryer. I'll get it out. Ow! Ow! Ow-w-w! Ow-w-w!

And so many more...

[DaveWadding]

also...

Apu: "Oh, you used nylon rope this time! It feels so soft against my skin..."

[Savio]

ftp://ftp.smoovenet.com/pub/lardlad/sounds/season7/vegetarian17.mp3

I posted the site in the sound thread

[Savio]

ftp://ftp.smoovenet.com/pub/lardlad/sounds/season11/eight8.mp3

ftp://ftp.smoovenet.com/pub/lardlad/sounds/season11/laughter28.mp3

ftp://ftp.smoovenet.com/pub/lardlad/sounds/season13/rap28.mp3

[Mikey]

Ralph: Hi Principal Skinner, Hi Super Nintendo Chommers

[packt up]

Lisa - Well look at the WONDERS of the world now
Homer - Wonders Lisa? Or Blunders?
Lisa - I think that was implied by the question dad
Homer - Implied lisa? Or Implode??
Lisa - ..... Mum make him stop.

[Dave Youell]

An organisation just miles from your home, the goverment calls it 'The Army' but we preffer the phrase - THE KILLBOT FACTORY

[Savio]

http://www.lardlad.com/quotes.shtml

A site with a lot of simpsons sound files.

[Fox]

Lisa: Dad... there's a family of possums in here.

Homer: I call the big one bitey.

[PorkSoda]

I dont remember it exactly and I dont really recall the guys name (Snake?)

Snake: Ok I got the ____ the ____ and the gun. Now lets rob this....bowling ally?

Snake: Aw! I've been robbed. So this is what it feels like. I better go find my shrink and rob his ass.

[Xero]

Some arent exact, but...

Ralph: I bent my wookie...

Ralph: Me fail english? That's unpossible!

Ralph: It smells like hot dogs! (When refering to the electric chair room)

Ralph: This tastes like grandma!
Cheif Wiggam: What? Let me taste that... **Takes bite of tomaco** My God it DOES taste like grandma.... We'll take a bucket, or a bushel, or whatever you sell!

Bart: Mom it's broken... Mom it's broken... Mom it's broken... Mom it's broken...

Elmo: ELMO KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE!

Bret Hart: This house smells like old guy...
Saleswoman: And there's a local wrestler right down the street!
Wrestler: RAAWWR!
Bret: I'll take it!

[Cool King]

Homer:That's Lenny!...Awww I wanted the black one!

[CANADIAN]

Nelson: (reading card) Someone like's you... (Turn around and see's Milhouse waving)

[Innovator]

Homer: I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer
---------------------
Ralph: I'm Learnding
-----------------
Snake: Alright, time for a crime spree

[PorkSoda]

Funzo: I have a flower for oo!
Crowd: Ahhhh!
Karl: Oh man I gotta get me one of those
Lenny: Hey I aint waiting till the store opens.

Funzo: Im very mad at oo!

[Cool King]

Homer (singing): I am so smart I am so smart s-m-r-t I mean s-m-A-r-t. :lol:

[Disturbed316]

Marge: Homie, the plant called today and said if you dont go in tomorrow then dont bother going in on Monday.

Homer: WOO-HOO four day weekend!

[LK]

the episode when Bart gets a big brother in anger at Homer and Homer decides to get a little brother for revenge:

Woman: And mister Simpson why would you like to be a big brother
Homer's brain: Don't say revenge. Don't say revenge.
Homer: Revenge
Homer's brain: That's it I'm out of here. "footsteps and a door slam"

Homer: The sum of any 2 sides of an icsoceles triangle is equal to teh square root of the remaing side.
Guy in toilet: That's a right triangle you idiot
Homer: Doh!

[YOUR Hero]

Go banana!

[Volchok]

basically anything Ralph says is gold...

[Cool King]

Willy: Okay Skinner. That's the last time you'll slap your willy around. I quit!

Skinner: You did it, Nibbles! Now... chew through my ball sack!

[Drakul]

Willy: Okay Skinner. That's the last time you'll slap your willy around. I quit!

Skinner: You did it, Nibbles! Now... chew through my ball sack!

[Drakul]

basically anything Ralph says is gold...
yeah.

[Tornado]

Comic Book Guy: Excuse me Santos, if that is your real name, bartsimpson, but your phoney credit card is no good here. Now make like my pants, and split.

Kent Brockman: How can I prove that we're live?....PENIS

[Apprentice]

Mr. Burns : Oh no. Smithers, why didn't you tell me about this market crash?
Smithers : Well, sir, it happened 25 years before I was born.
Mr. Burns : Oh, that's your excuse for everything.


Homer : I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."


Comic Book Guy : Last night's "Itchy & Scratchy" was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

[Savio]

Homer: The sum of any 2 sides of an icsoceles triangle is equal to teh square root of the remaing side.
Guy in toilet: That's a right triangle you idiot
Homer: Doh!
Yes but do you know what that is a mock of?

[RoXer]

Lou: Y'know I went to the McDonalds in uh Shelbyville the other day.
Wiggum: The McWhat?
Lou: Uh, the McDonalds restaraunt. I never heard of it either but they have over 2000 locations in this State alone.
Eddie: Hmm. Must have sprung up overnight.
Lou: You know the funniest thing though? It's the little differences.
Wiggum: Example
Lou: Well at McDonalds you can buy a Krusty Burger with cheese, right, but, they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese.
Wiggum: Get out.. well what do they call it?
Lou: A Quarter Pounder with cheese.
Wiggum: A Quarter Pounder with cheese? Well I can picture the cheese, but... uh. Do they have 'Krusty Partially Gelagnated Non Dairy Gum Based Beverages'?
Lou: MmmHmm, they call them "Shakes".


[/Pulp Fiction]

[loopydate]

Yes but do you know what that is a mock of?
It was the movie about a WIZARD who was in charge OF some place called OZ. I think it was called "Dorothy and Friends Get High on Poppies."

[CosaNostra]

Homer: "Brain you don't like me and I don't like you so lets get through this so I can get back to killing you with beer"

[CosaNostra]

Stoned Alien Mr Burns: "I bring you loooooooooove".

Lenny: "You hear that, lets break his legs!".

[Shaggy]

Skinner: You did it, Nibbles! Now... chew through my ball sack!

Kent Brockman: How can I prove that we're live?....PENIS

The first time I heard those on TV I just couldnt stop laughing.

[yianni]

Comic Book Guy : Last night's "Itchy & Scratchy" was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.
:rofl: The Comic Book Guy is the fucking man. :D

Homer: Hello, my name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me!
Lady: Oh, ok Mr Burns, what's your first name?
Homer: ...I don't...know!

[LK]

Episode with the meltdown

Smiters: Mr Burns I may never have another chance so I have to say I love you
Burns: Oh hot dog. Thank you for making my last moments of life socially awkward

[LK]

Willie: Ah it's a monster KILL IT! KILL IT!
Smithers: That's not a monster it's Mr Burns
Willie: Aww it's Mr Burns KILL IT! KILL IT!

[Cool King]

The first time I heard those on TV I just couldnt stop laughing.


Me too :lol:

[RemyRed]

Willy hears ya, Willy don't care..

[mitchables]

Mr. Sherman (The Critic): Why would you vote for Burns' film?
Krusty: Let's just say it moved me... TO A BIGGER HOUSE! ... Uh oh. I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet.

----

Maude Flanders: They were having S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!
Krusty: Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down!

----

Krusty: Now it's time for my favourite part of the show... wha's that say?... Talk to the Audience?! Oh man, this is always death.

----

Krusty: Well, since Itchy and Scratchy are on the GABBO show now, we've got a very special treat for you kids. Europe's favourite cat and mouse team, Worker and Parasite!
*crazy European cartoon plays*
Krusty: ... WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!

[mitchables]

Vampire Burns: Well, if it isn't little... uh... BOY.

[Savio]

Homer: Hello, my name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me!
Lady: Oh, ok Mr Burns, what's your first name?
Homer: ...I don't...know!
:lol:

[The Answer]

In they episode where Mr Burns is attracted to Marge.He takes away the employees donuts.And then this doozy happens

Homer:But you can't take our Donuts

(Lenny throws himself at the donut guy,who nails Lenny with a chain and Lenny lands in some empty radiation barrels)

Donut Guy:Alright anyone else wanna be a hero

I can watch that 100 times it always makes me laugh

[FakeLaser]

I don't think this topic has ever been done before.

[The Answer]

I don't think this topic has ever been done before.

I guess your being sarcastic.But I searched for it and it was not their

[DaveWadding]

Right now it's from "Homer vs. Dignity"...

Mr Burns is standing outside Android, watching Comic Book Guy eating Peeps (those marshmellow animal things you get at Easter).

CBG: "98...99...100. Oh, if only the real chicks went down this easy..."

Me: :rofl:

[Gouda]

*Marge stands in the way of Bart, Lisa, and Homer leaving the house*

Bart: Uhhhh... mom? We kinda can't leave if you're in the way.

Homer:*calm voice* Push her down, son.

[Bad Company]

You used to be cool china

We still cool!

[Buzzkill]

I guess your being sarcastic.But I searched for it and it was not their

Search Query: Favorite Simpsons Quotes

Results: Favorite Simpsons Quotes (http://www.tpww.net/forums/showthread.php?t=19975&highlight=simpsons+favorite); Favorite Family Guy and Simpsons Quotes (http://www.tpww.net/forums/showthread.php?t=70&highlight=simpsons+favorite)

[The Answer]

Search Query: Favorite Simpsons Quotes

Results: Favorite Simpsons Quotes (http://www.tpww.net/forums/showthread.php?t=19975&highlight=simpsons+favorite); Favorite Family Guy and Simpsons Quotes (http://www.tpww.net/forums/showthread.php?t=70&highlight=simpsons+favorite)

You see up her in Canada we spell "Favorite" like this "Favourite" which is why I got nuthin

[Astley316]

I bent my wookie

[Anybody Thrilla]

"Magic show? What the HELL are you--oh yeah, magic show, definitely the way to go!"

"What the hell are you talking about, you stupid little kid?"

[Bad Guy]

Homer (in fake ass impersonation): "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have some mail for me today!"

Mail Guy: "Alright, Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"

Homer: "I don't know."

:lol:

[loopydate]

I bent my wookie
I have an "I bent my wookie" t-shirt. :y:

From previous threads:

APU: Ahhhhh, the searing hot kiss of lead. How I missed you. (beat) I mean...I think I'm dying.

MILHOUSE: I was watching. I saw the whole thing. First it started falling over. Then it fell over.

HOMER: That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things, too.

The entire "McDonald's" conversation. Won't reprint the entire thing here.

SQUEAKY-VOICED TEEN: Here's your taco, Mister. Whoops. It fell in the fryer. I'll get it out. Ow! Ow! Ow-w-w! Ow-w-w!
Bart: Milhouse! You were supposed to be the night watchman!
Milhouse: I was watching. First it started falling over, then it fell over.

Homer: I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!

Lou: I went to the McDonalds over in Shelbyville the other day.
Chief Wiggum: The Mc-what?
Lou: Yeah, I never heard of it either but they say they have over 2000 locations in this state alone.
Eddie: Hmm...Must've sprung up over night.
Lou: But you know, its the little differences.
Chief Wiggum: Example?
Lou: Well at a McDonalds you can get a Krusty Burger with cheese. But they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese.
Chief Wiggum: Get out! What do they call it?
Lou: A quarter pounder with cheese.
Chief Wiggum: Quarter pounder with cheese...well I can see the cheese but? Hey, do they have Krusty's Partially Gelatinated Gum-Based beverages?
Lou: Yeah, they call them 'shakes.'
Eddie: *Pfft* 'Shakes.' You don't know what you're gettin'.

Amish Farmer: 'Tis a fine barn, but sure 'tis no pool, English.
Homer: D'oh-eth!

Kang: Holy fleurking schnit!

Kent Brockman: ...and the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.

Barney: I'm Barney Gumble, and I'm and alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scout meeting.
Barney: Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit that you have a problem!

Homer: Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
Bart: What about Abraham Lincoln?
Homer: Uh, he sold poison milk to school children.

Chief Wiggum: What IS your fascination with my forbidden closet of mysteries?

Dr. Nick: [singing] The kneebone's connected to the... something. The something's connected to the... red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch. ...Uh oh.

Alien: I bring you love!
Larry: It's bringing love, don't let it get away!
Carl: Break its legs!

Apu: Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie!

Willy: There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman!

Apu: There it is, the world's first convenience store.
Homer: This isn't very convenient.
Apu: Must you knock on everything we do?

Homer: Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Homer: But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old! Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: And how!

[A rock flies through Mr. Burns' office window]
Mr. Burns: Look Smithers, a bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction.

Bart: Oh my God! The dead have risen and are voting Republican!

Kang: We must move forward... not backwards, not to the side, not forwards, but always whirling, whirling, whirling towards freedom!

Maude Flanders: They were having S-E-X in front of C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!
Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down!

Barney: [during his acceptance speech] I've learned that I have a gift to share with the world. From now on, I'll be a new Barnard Gumbel; Clean, sober, and hardworking.
Mayor Quimby: Congratulations, Barney, and enjoy your prize - a lifetime supply of Duff Beer.
Barney: Just stick it in my veins!

Marge: C'mon, Homer, Japan will be fun. You like Rashoman.
Homer: That's not how I remember it.

Comic Book Guy: Yes, I would like to return your quote-unquote *ultimate* belt.
Clerk: I see. Do you a receipt, quote-unquote sir?
Comic Book Guy: No, I do not have a receipt. I won it as a door prize at a Star Trek convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical, as the average Trekker has no need of a medium-size belt.
Clerk: Wow, a fat sarcastic Star Trek fan. You must be a devil with the ladies... gee, I hate to let you down, Casanova, but no receipt, no return.
Bart: I'll give you four bucks for it.
Comic Book Guy: Very well. I must get back to my comic book store, where I dispense the insults rather than receive them.

Drill Sergeant: Look soldier, you don't like me, and I don't like you.
Homer: I like you.
Drill Sergeant: Well, I don't like you.
Homer: Maybe you'd like me if you got to know me better.

Homer: Two hours? Why'd they build this ghost town so far away?
Lisa: Because they discovered gold right over there!
Homer: It's because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything.

Ralph Wiggum: Me fail English? That's unpossible!

Newspaper editor: We're looking for a new food critic, someone who doesn't immediately pooh-pooh everything he eats.
Homer: Nah, it usually takes a few hours.

Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night! That just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Sorry, Moe, gotta go. My damn wiener kids are listening.

[gunshot, Flanders is knocked down]
Ned Flanders: Whew, good thing I always keep a Bible next to my...
[second gunshot, Flanders is knocked down again]
Ned Flanders: Whew, luckily I was wearing an extra large piece of the True Cross today. Uh, I'm going home now.
[as he runs off, a third gunshot spins the head of Homer's pickaxe]
Homer: What keeps doing that?
Fat Tony: I told you we should have bought more than three bullets.

[In the car on the way to Florida]
Lisa: Mom, Bart's sitting next to me!
Bart: Mom, Lisa's growing!
Marge: Quiet, you two! You know your father's just had a breakdown.
Homer: My pockets hurt.

[Homer and his band are performing a 4th of July concert in New York City]
Homer: This next song is dedicated to a very special lady. She's 100 years old and weighs over 200... tons.
Fan: This enormous lady will devour us all.
[Screams and jumps into the ocean]

Marge: You awful, awful man! Stay away from my son!
Sideshow Bob: [menacing] I'll stay away. Stay away... FOREVER!
Homer: Oh, no!
Sideshow Bob: Wait. That's no good.
[walks away, then runs back]
Sideshow Bob: I've got a good one now. Marge, say "stay away from my son" again!
Marge: No!

Lionel Hutz: And as for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in the state. Often as a lawyer.

Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there.
[Marge scrapes it off the ceiling into Homer's hands]
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but...
[bites]
Homer: Mmm, sacrilicious.

[Shaggy]

Homer: Save Me JEBUS

another one I like was in the episode where Homer Becomes the Fortune Cookie writer and Lisa Is Typing on the Chinese type writer....

Homer: Lisa, you getting this down?

Lisa: I dont know

[Blue Demon]

Bleeding Gums Murphy: you've been my favourite pupil, here have my saxophone
Student: You're giving me your umbrella??
BGM: you mean I've been playing an umbrella for the past 30 years???? Why diodn't anyone tell me??
Student: We just thought it was funny
BGM: that's not funny