RAW Captions (1-9-06) Sorry they're so late

[loopydate]

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[JH]

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Lita(Thinking) I hope nobody notices that the belt is spinning cause i have no clue how i broke it

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Masters: It was you yea you ate the last twinkie you bushy headed sumbitch

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HBK: Oh no watch out Kurts gonna hurl

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Kurt got so tired of selling for Masters he actually fell asleep

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No caption just stealing a line from Ron Simmons
DAMN

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Now thats the kind of wrestling move i would like to be put in

[Joey Slugs]

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Masters: "You're..."
Carlito: "Don't you do it."
Masters: "You..."
Carlito: "NO!"
Masters: "You're g..."
Carlito: "Dat's not cool."
Masters: "You're going in first"
Carlio: "Shit man, I thought you were going to pull that 'You're Gay' gimmick on me"
Masters: "Gay?"
Carilto: "Think Shawn & Hunter."
Masters: "Ewwwww...... you do that too?"

[Xero]

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Carlito: NO! DON'T! NO! NBLOP!
Masters: NOW SUCK MY FINGER!

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The Mad Humper makes his debut.

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The lack of steroids really took a toll on Farooq.

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Shawn: Please...
Kurt: WHAT THE SHIT!? I'M NOT HUNTER!

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Lita: I've stuck the REAL WWE Championship up my hoo haa! If you want it, GO GET IT!

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Kurt: EWWWW! FUCK THAT SHIT! I'M GOING TO SMACKDOWN!

[JH]

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Cena: Old mcdonald had a farm everybody ei ei o and on this famr he had a goat come on now everybody ei ei o

[JH]

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Lita: I've stuck the REAL WWE Championship up my hoo haa! If you want it, GO GET IT!

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Kurt: EWWWW! FUCK THAT SHIT! I'M GOING TO SMACKDOWN!


LMAO
now thats funny

[Joey Slugs]

Serious LOD, you need to lay off the captions. They are just not funny.

[JH]

the captions are here for anybody so back off alright

[PorkSoda]

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Chris Masters: You have poofy hair.

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Shawn Micheals returns as "Father Oompa", an Oompa Loompa priest healer.

[LK]

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Cena: ...and you thought I was bad.

[Vastardikai]

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John: The Champ is Here!

Vince: *offscreen* You're not the Champ, anymore.

John: Can't I just pretend a little while longer?

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Here we see what happens when a Constipated Popeye tries to deep throat a Microphone...

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Lita botches speaking...

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Carlito: Don't Hulk up on me, Chris....

Masters: YOU!!!!!!

Carlito: Dat's not cool.

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Micheals notices that Kurt kind of looks like a Bald Al Franken...

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Gregory Helms wasn't happy when he saw Kurt bust out the Vertebreaker on Carlito...

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Styles: The Jump-by Shooting! The Jump-by Shooting.

Coach: I have a voice for radio, but no brain for it!

King: Puppies!

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Masters: He's... Biting... My... Thumb...

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Masters tries to stick out his tongue and touch his nose, to no avail.

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Kurt, for some reason, doesn't want to re-enact the WWE version of "Brokeback Mountain" with Shawn...

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But he will bust out his Tajiri impression.

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Masters: He's stepping.... on... my... foot!

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Kurt: Who's booking this crap?

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Phil Collins: I see your true colors, shining through!

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Val: Can you autograph my ass! I loved you in that one show!

Shelton's Mama: Sure thing, Val, bend over!

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Shelton: I don't deserve this!

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Shelton: *crying* Why did I sell my soul to Vince?

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Kane: I have a tag title I haven't defended in God knows HOW LONG...

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Kane's tandem Goozle/Atomic Wedgie is devastating!

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*Mickie holds the mic to her ear.*

Mickie: Why can't I hear myself talk?

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Mickie is mad that she has to have her bra popping out of her shirt to proceed.

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There are times when you should wonder why Edge is nice to you all of a sudden. In the middle of a match isn't one of those times.

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Vastardikai: Am I next? :naughty:

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Fan in Bright Orange Shirt: Dude, I just filled the cup!

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Mickie: Do I look like a total slut, or what!?

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Mickie does a spot-on Kane impression.

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The Kick is up, and it is good!

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ref: pink tights is so not Conway...

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Chavo > Kerwin

[Tornado]

the captions are here for anybody so back off alright


Then try making your captions a bit more imaginative, they're seriously bland.

[parkmania]

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Lita: Now that Edge is the new MM Champ...
Edge: :shifty:

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Carlito: No, Chris! I swear I didn't leave the seat up!

or

Carlito: No Chris! I swear I didn't leave Sean O'Hare's cage open last night!

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HBK was amazed at Kurt's "Gammy Num-nums" immitation.

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Here we see the first time the WWE 24/7 sign was used as a weapon.

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Kurt: Tell me you didn't just say that! (I gotta practice that for later this week...)

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Kurt: THAT'S IT! If you people won't give me the respect I deserve, I'll go to Smackdown!

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Shawn: Na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye!

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Val really should have waited until the stitching on his tights was complete.

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Shelton: Ladies and gentlemen, the wing-eating champion of the WORLD!

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Mickey: I'm just so glad to be here in the IEE!

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The ref points out to Mickey how to really be over with the fans.

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Ref: Wow, that Ashley's a quick study.

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In a move that noone could have predicted, Kelly Clarkson was given a shot at the women's title.

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Ref: I wonder just how long Chavo's gonna keep getting these sympathy wins.

[LoDownM]

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Masters: Pull my finger.
Carlito: NOOO!! Not after what happened last time!

[BlackDawn2024]

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In desperate times, Cena resorted to stealing Lillian's job of singing the National Anthem to win back his fans.

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Man, only Shawn could calculate the exact wind pressure in mid-air to make his elbow drop perfect.

[Kane Knight]

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"The Champ is here! Who wants milk and cookies?"


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"What do you mean the milk's turned heel?"


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In an attempt to piss off the smarks even more, Vince decided to make Lita the undisputed champion.


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Masters: You're a homo!
Carlito: Would you please take your hand off my thigh? Das not cool.


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"The power of Christ Compells you!"

"So you don't like my Jim Carrey impression?"


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Unfortunately for young Carlito Skywalker, he dropped his lightsaber.


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King: Top rope Titty Twister!
Styles: What are you talking about?
Ross: BAH GAWD! THOSE NIPPLES DON'T TASTE LIKE SALAMI!
Styles: Who the Hell keeps letting him in?


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Angered at Michaels' pious nature, Masters demands God take him back.


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Shawn awoke, and realised that Oz had been but a dream. Unfortunately, the Cowardly Lion disagreed.


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"Okay, but just a quick one. And only because it means we don't job to Masters."


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ADRIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!


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Blinded by Angle's "sheen," Masters was forced to release the hold.


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"Man, I guess steroids don't shrink you."


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"I got the urge...To HERBAL!"


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Shelton's mom was so helpful, correcting the misspelling of "Venus."


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Shelton: Mom, why'd you bring your bag to the ring?
Mama: I heard That young Orton kid was backstage.


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Wedding angles never work out in the wWE.


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Poor Kane. He's worked for years in the WWE and only reigned one night in his life. Now he finally earns the Smackdown! Championship, and he's forced to job it one night later...To Lita.


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"Ref, tell him to stop hanging onto the glass ceiling!"


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"Oh my God, hi Shawn!"


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Director: Now make it more convincing.
Trish: You sure this will help people take me more seriously?
Ref: Honey, nothing is more serious than HLA. You don't do 15 "Girls Gone Wild" videos and not learna thing or two.


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Trish regretted lending a hand. How did someone misplace a TAMPON?


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"Would you please...Get yor dick...Out of my EAR?"


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"Weren't you a white man?"
"Weren't you a gay foreigner?"



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"Okay, who took my pants?"

[Disturbed316]

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If you were offended by the one legged wrestler Zack Gowen, then get ready for a whole new meaning to the word "offensive" with the introduction of Carlito Angle, the worlds first siamese twin wrestler!