SmackDown! Captions [2-3-06]

[loopydate]

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[Xero]

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Randy: OH YEAH! I GOT THE KEY!
Seconds later, Randy loses a life to Phanto.

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*Queue Benny Hill music*

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JBL: I'M TIGER WOODS! WEE!

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JBL: I'M MIKE TYSON! *POW*

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Kurt: *Sniff* Yo, Mark, brush your teeth.

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Art snob: This is a painting of Van Gogh's dog. After he painted this he ate him.

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Rey: THIS IS MY MAD FACE! D:

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Rey: OWWW!
Randy: What?
Teddy: HE'S BEEN SHOT IN THE ASS!

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Ref: You haven't been with many women, have you?
Midget: BOOBIES!

[loopydate]

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Randy thought he was in the clear. Until Rey Mysterio SENIOR showed up!


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Nobody's quite sure why Randy chose that moment to tell Nick that he'd been boning his wife.

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This was less fun than it was with Hunter. Rey's mouth was just so damned small...

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Here we see why Mark Henry should never try to wrestle after eating Mexican.

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It certainly didn't help the move's believability when Mark no-sold the Ankle Lock and ate a sandwich.

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Sharmell thought she was saving the match, but she walked right into Stevie's Gore.

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Moy name's Finlay. People call me a fightin' Irish bastard. But never to the giant black man who's growin' outta where me face should be!

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Insert limbo joke here.

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In a surprising turn of events, Finlay botches the Masterlock.

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REF: Stick and move, Little Blac! Stick and move!

JBL: Ha ha! Maybe you should throw in the towel!

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Wow. So much going on in this picture. You have the Refdertaker sitting up, Lashley getting a win, JBL's Scott Hall impression, TAKA Michinoku's first day as a photographer... I just don't know what to caption!

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HHH: No thanks. We have enough vaguely gay tag teams on RAW. But I appreciate the offering. Your push is extended.

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LASHLEY: Ah, well. Back you go, to waits for an asshole with less discriminatin' taste.

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Step #1 to becoming a WWE main-eventer: Vase Practice. No one ever gets it right on the first try.

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Some still can't get it, a decade-and-a-half later.

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You may not know it to look at him, but the night he attended the Prince concert was the best of his life.

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Thus began the epic Undertaker vs. Zeus feud.

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Well, guess they went with the whole Melina's-a-dude angle after all.

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Mercury was about to have his shoulders pinned for three, but Nitro just managed to call a timeout!

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With Melina's ankle injury providing the necessary distraction, the fan in gray knew this was his only opportunity to take home his very own ring post.

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SUPER CRAZY: YAY! We are doing it!

PSICOSIS: I don't think this is quite how Bret taught it to us.

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In a shocking double-turn, Melina betrayed MNM by outing Mercury.

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Why Rey Mysterio hates airport security.

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Okay, I've let a lot of things slide here. Rey exploiting his best friend's death, the tasteless Orton promo, the WM main-event switch... But do they really expect me to believe that Rey is now so powerful that he can do the "hoss brick wall" move?!?

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The WWE/GCW Invasion got off to a rocky start when Rey squashed LK.

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ORTON: Eddie was... a homo!

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Rey knew he was supposed to be paying attention to Randy's promo, but... that butterfly was so pretty!

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I'll take "Pictures We Won't Be Seeing In Two Months" for $1,000, Alex.

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They say wrestling is in the McMahon family blood, but I never expected them to slap masks on Shane's kid and Steph's fetus and give them TV time!

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REF: You still haven't answered my question. Why. Do. They. Call. You. "Tweak?"

[JH]

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When Mark Henry says he's gotta go he's really gotta go no matter where he's at

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For some unknown reason Steven Richards tries to pull Benoits pants off

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Presenting WWE for stoners
JBL: Ha ha dude you're black
Lashley: Whoa dude you're like all white and stuff dude

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Crazy: You put your right foot in
Psicosis: You put your right foot out
Mercury: Hey guys we've got a match here
Crazy & Piscosis start talking in mexican really fast
Mercury: Oh shit i'm screwed now...Johnny help me

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Nick: Rey i'm sorry
Other Ref's: We're sorry
Rey: But i loved that goldfish soooooooo much

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Rey: Did you kill my goldfish Randy?
Randy: Yes i did and i ate him
Rey: Where's he at dammit
Randy: In Jillians bag

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Jr In Black: Hey ref have you ever had a midget give you a blow job
Ref: Uh no why
Jr In Black: Cause it does'nt last long so could you help a brother out

[Cool King]

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JBL: HADOUKEN!

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Lashley: Who are you?

JBL: A WRESTLING GOD!:cool:

Lasley: Oh, I thought you were JBL, sorry.

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So this is what smokers see before they die.

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Melina didn't like what she was seeing. But who knew you could do that with a nipple.

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This is Rey after he was told that The Easter Bunny wasn't real.

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Orton: Eddie went to hell Rey, and that the truth! Now if you....Your head is really small.

Rey: :'(

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Rey: PRAISE ALLAH!

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Little Ninja: Gimme your lunch money, punk!

[Cuzziebro]

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Angle trys his best in every sport even....
Daivari: Catch and Kiss!

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Nipple Cripple.

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Rey knew WWE was going a little sour but he he never thought it would be this sour.

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Rey: I want my mommy.

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Rey decided to get Randy back for all those times he said Rey had a small head.

[Xero]

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Rey: You can hardly see your trunks with that shirt on...

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Randy: What trunks?
Rey: AWW GOD!

[BlackDawn2024]

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Lil' Ultimo Dragon was a big hit in the WWE.

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Orton: Eddie's not up there, Rey. He's...he's down...god damn it, Rey! Look at me!
Rey: .........I like bugs.
Teddy: :nono:

[Lock Jaw]

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The ref was confused. Randy just came out and insisted that he hold his hand.

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Agressive Crotch Display?

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Daivari: Tee hee! You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!

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Booker T has evolved past the technique of lesser animals. He marks his territory with Fit Finlays.

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Lashley: TASSLES!!

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Undertaker: ..... What?
Angle: That's a good color for your eyes.

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Rey: MOOOOOMMMY! Randy hit me!!

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FCC: Pedophilia on my TV?!

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Rey: Serenity Now!

[Skippord]

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Token:Nine midgets spanking a man covered in thousand Island Dressing

[darkpower]

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Apparently, Randy was going to find out why you should only water PLANTS with Miracle Gro instead of outright DRINKING it.

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RANDY: Yeah, I get to go to Wrestlemania 22 and be the new champ without even breaking a sweat.
REF: [thinking] GOD, he's hot!

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Randy Orton does his best Triple H impersionation.

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*DONG*
DAVARI: I'M GOING TO HAWAII!!
ANGLE: AND I'M GOING TO CANCUN!!
SOME DEEP GUY OFF CAMERA: *DONG* You are now free to move about the country!

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Where will YOU be when Mark Henry farts?

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Bobby Lashely trains for the glass ceiling patrole guard job opening.

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To all of those people that had those signs that said Undertaker was God, well....you weren't that far off judging from this.

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DAMN, I didn't know belts could cause orgasms until tonight.

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Snisky, please take note.

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The Ambiguous Gay Duo strikes back.

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REY: I'm the King of the WORLD!!
WM22 SIGN: Ha, too bad you won't even SEE me!

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REF: Hey, it's not MY fault Michael Cole called you a fuckhead on that radio show.

[darkangel131]

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Rey realized someone farted. Randy, meanwhile, just shook it off.

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No one noticed the guy behind Orton was doing a mini-chicken dance.

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Blowjobbing on live TV? If they're that desperate...

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Kurt: You stole my lunch money! :foc:
Daivari: :| MOMMY!

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Kurt: Oh God... :wtf:

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Sharmell: Hold still Chris. There's a fly on your head.

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JBL's body odor was enough to knock even Bobby Lashley down.

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JBL was in shock as Charles Robinson became possessed by Kane.

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Is that... a zit? :shifty:

[JH]

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As you can clearly see on the left of this picture Seattle Quarterback Matt Hasselbeck was just as involved in this caption as he was the Super Bowl
Basically he did'nt a damn thing for either one

[Disturbed316]

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Nick Patrick was incredibly confussed about how Tim White managed to lose all the weight, get a shave, fail to kill himself AGAIN, and win the match.

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Orton executes his new finisher, the Penis Claw.

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Disco fever hits Smackdown

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JBL: D-I-S-C-O
Lashly: IT'S LIMBO TIME!

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JBL starts the Chicken Dance dance off.

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*fart*

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The XFL/WWE cross promotion match wasn't much of a big hit after all the time outs where taken.

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THERE'S A BUG UNDER MY SKIN! GET IT OUT!

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Mysterio's new gimmick was once again another rehash, this time Droz's puke gimmick was used.

[Vastardikai]

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Randy: I saw you without your mask, you look like your twelve. At least I can pull off 15...

Rey: :'(

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Ref: *thinking* This man should NOT be headlining Wrestlemana...

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Randy: If you don't tap out, referee, I will skull fuck Rey to death!

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The thought of a Mark Henry World Title Run caused people to run to the toilet to vomit...

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Kurt didn't want to check out Mark's ass, but... it's sooo big!

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Cricket Master Sharmell is up next.

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Booker T revealed himself to be a Centaur in a shocking turn of events.

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Finlay goes to great lengths to fight off Benoit's attempt at using the Invisible Knife of Death.

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Finlay: 3,876... 3,877... 3,878

Benoit: Stop counting my hairs, dude. I can't breathe!

Finlay: Dammit, Pipe down Benwar, I lawst me count... 1... 2... 3...

Benoit: *Dies*

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*Biff*

Dunna Nunna Nunna Nunna Dunna Nunna Nunna Nunna BATMAN!

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Ref: Hey, look! it's the guy Cole called a Fuckhead!

JBL: :eek:

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Jobber: I want back on the ground!

Lashley: Did someone say Hoe-Down!

(sorry to whoever I stole that joke from.)

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After this tragedy, the new No "Throw Jobber Here" Sign rule was enacted

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JBL: Farooq is that you? What happened to you, man?

Lashley: I'm not Ron Simmons.

JBL: I'm sorry, Orlando, I couldn't help it.

Lashley: I'm not a Bisexual Buckwheat looking bastard, either.

JBL: They let other black people on this show?! :eek:

Lashley: :mad: :rant:

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Kurt: Have you been hanging around RVD, again?

Taker: No, man... Do you have some Munchie's?

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Taker: Duuuuuuuude!

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You aren't fooling anyone when you climb out of your casket and a big pile of smoke rolls out of it.

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Nitro: (to himself) Why is Melina's dick bigger than mine?

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Time travelling Wrist Tape: New from WWE Shopzone!

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Melina: Why does everyone stare at my breasts? :'(

MnM guy: Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittt... Um,You were saying something?

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Crazy: I wanna have a mask vs. mask match with Misterio.

Psicosis: :wtf:

Crazy: I'm a bigger star than the Rock!

Psicosis: Are you on drugs?

*In some unemployment line*

Juvi: I knew this mind control device would come in handy!

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Milena: The Spider is over there! Kill it, kill it!

Ref: As soon as I karate chop this snake for you, ok?


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The forcible gangrape of Misterio on WWE Television caused the cancellation of Smackdown.

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*Bam*

Batman! Batman! Batman! Dunna Nunna Nunna Nunna Dunna Nunna Nunna Nunna Batman!

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He read the back of Orton's shirt and immediately figured out what REALLY happened to Eddie...

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Randy: You're too small to Main Event.

Rey: You're too dull to Main Event. That doesn't stop you!

Randy: Touche'!

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Sean: Do you know what Randy Orton and George W. Bush have in common? They both went AWOL, they both got to where they are today because of their dad, and both have a following of people who think they know more than they really do.

Rey: :rofl: That's a good one, Sean.

Randy: I'm like George W. Bush? I'm not president, I don't get it.

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No one understood why Rey celebrated taking a shit in the ring, but hey, whatever floats his boat...

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Junior 1: No, NOT IN THE PILE OF SHIT!

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Everyone was shocked by the return of Matt Morgan!

[Mr. Monday Morning]

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Nick Patrick decided to test the theory that if you cover up Randy Orton's tattoos, he dies.

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Giving a new meaning to "You could put an eye out with that thing!"

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Kurt was pissed. NOBODY attempted to eat his gold medal and got away with it.

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"Can I interest you in a book about the stock market? No?"

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Kurt was impressed with his new life-size Undertaker action figure. He couldn't help but wonder what would happen when he put batteries in though.

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And thus the new Light-Up Undertaker was approved for mass production.

*or*

Now in cherry flavour.

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RVD still liked to come by and visit every now and again.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/13.jpg

Orton's attempt to kill the legend of gravity had disastrous consequences

[Kane Knight]

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/12.jpg

Orton thought he had rid himself of the Rangers for good, but Zordon was back...And he was PISSED.


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/08.jpg

"For a good time call...?"


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/09.jpg

While Rey gasps for air, the ref tries to lift his spirit with his "Rubber Hitler" impression.


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/10.jpg

Fortunately, Kurt Angle knew the Heimlich maneuver.


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/11.jpg

"Where's your <s>Sammich</s> God now?"


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/17.jpg

Charmelle: Hold still Chris, you've got a fighting irish bastard on your shoulder...


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/01.jpg

Kane goes pimp.


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/18.jpg

Chris was a good grandson, but giving grampa his medicine was always a trying time.


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/16.jpg

WWE Videos newest "Adult" release: put it where it doesn't belong 3.


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/02.jpg

"Let's see, it was down, down right, right? Shucks, I can never remember how to dragon punch."


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/04.jpg

Lashley was scared. You would be too, if the guy "striking up the band" was wearing jackboots.


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/28.jpg

They tried to give Brock Lesnar a more contemporary feel, but he still couldn't help but beat up the homos.


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/03.jpg

Lashley: OH SAY DOES THAT STAR SPANGLED BANNER YET WAAAAAAAVE
Ref: 10,000 points! Just...Put him down before someone gets hurt.


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/05.jpg

"Farooq?"


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/31.jpg

Undertaker: You will rest in peace!
Angle: I will...Rest...In...Peace...
Undertaker: This hypnosis works great! Beats rimming Vince...


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/29.jpg

'Taker doesn't appreciate Chuck Norris worship either.


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/30.jpg

"This is the resting place of the souls I don't put over..."


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/06.jpg

"Guys, shower more."


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/26.jpg

"You stole Carlito's hair? Das cool."


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/07.jpg

"Higher...Higher...Higher..."


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/27.jpg

"Does Kurt know you stole his time ray?"


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/25.jpg

Melina showed off her prowess, by pointing out the homo right in the middle of some HGA.


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/23.jpg

"What do you mean there's no santa? "





http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/21.jpg

"SUCK IT BITCH! Suck it gooooood..."
"Who do you think you are, the Undertaker?"


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/22.jpg

"Stand on a chair, look me in the eye, and say that!"


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/15.jpg

It was hard to notice, but the Eddie T-Shirt is actually rolling his eyes.


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/14.jpg

In tribute to Eddie, Rey stole the lights from the Wrestlemania sign.


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/20.jpg

Finally, Rey hits a growth spurt.


http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/photos/1946802/19.jpg

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