Lib! (Humor)

[Rock Bottom]

Fill in the blanks with your own sick twisted perceptions of wrestling reality! Funny ones all get reps. I may or may not do mine after everyone else's, depending on how original mine would remain. :naughty:

Ross: We're live! We're live! Here at Wrestlemania 20, in MSG. Boy King we've had a hell of a show so far tonight. I just can't believe the match _______ and _______ just put on for us.

King: Oh, no doubt about it JR! When he pulled out the _______ and ________ his opponent, my eyeballs popped out of my head! It was unbelievable.

(This is late in the card, probably just past the halfway matches. Only two matches remain. ________'s music sounds!)

The fans are on their feet, chanting __________. And when _________ emerges from the crowd, everyone goes nuts!

Ross: Wow. This has got to be one of the ________ human beings I have ever seen. The ___________ of this guy is incredible.

King: Oh without a doubt, JR. I heard this guy can crush a beer can with his _____________!

___________ reaches the ring and goes his usual taunt. The crowd pops like hell. All the sudden, ____________'s music hits and a chorus of boo's erupts in the arena. _________________ makes his way down to the ring with a ___________ ___________ from his ______________. The crowd is shocked.

Garcia: The following contest is a ____________ match, scheduled for __________, and is for the World Wrestling Entertainment __________ Championship!

The bell rings.

Ross: Man oh man, this is gonna be a _______ knocker. This is _________ vs. ____________. Perhaps two of the ___________ superstars in history are about to lock up in the squared circle, and King, _________ couldn't be higher.

The two begin exchanging __________ and we're underway. The are jockying for ________ at this point, and it's still anybody's ____game. _________ begins to _______ his opponent on the ________, much to everyone's surprise.

King: Holy smokes JR! That guy is ________!
Ross: OH MAH GAWD, HE IS LITERALLY _________________________.

The match continues, with _________ in control. But __________ counters with a __________ to the __________. The crowd pops! ___________ is back to his feet, but quickly hit with the ____________! _____________ signals for his finisher, ______________! He hits it! 1! 2! Kick-out. He goes for it again! 1! 2! Kickout!

Ross: _____________________, in my entire _______________, have never ____________ like ___________ before!
King: Boy you got that right JR!

____________ begins to get frustrated, and goes for a ________ outside the ring. He begins to unload on his opponent with it, right in the ________, _ times, and the ref rings the bell. Booing erupts once again. When all the sudden, ___________'s music hits and _he rushes down to the ring, stopping _________'s attack with a _________! The crowd goes ________.

We break for an interview with _______, who is pumped for their upcoming match. This match is next!

Ross: Well ladies and gentlemen, Wrestlemania 20 is brought to you by _________ _-_, and by _________. Hungry? Why wait! Grab a ______.
King: And by __________! Have fun in your very own home with a miniature version of ________!

___________'s music hits. The crowd is on their feet. This is by far the hugest pop of the night. __________ makes his way to the ring, preparing himself for the biggest match of his _______. The fans die down as _________'s music hits, and instantly everyone begins to boo so loud you can't even hear their music. He takes his time getting to the ring, spitting ________ into the air the whole way (Note! The preceeding line is a rep goldmine if you say the right thing!). Finally one last spit by the ropes, and the match is underway.

A long staring takes place, where _________ looks _________ up and down. The two lock horns. __________ gets the better of his opponent, and __________ steps back. They lock up again, this time __________ sends a _______ to his opponent's _________. The crowd _______s.

Ross: My _____ are literally _________, King. I've been waiting for this match for a long time.
King: I hear you, JR. My money is on _______ though, he's gotten quite a _________ in the past weeks. _________ is really dominating the match.

The two continue changing positions, until as King says, _________ begins to dominate. This goes on for a good __ minutes, until _______ reverses with a _________________________! The crowd is on their feet! He continues with many ____ to the ____, followed by _______________. The ________ champion seems to be __________, as __________ continues his assault. Near fall. ________ goes for another pin but gets a near fall again. Then all the sudden, ________ tries to counter with a _________ but hits the ref! The ref is down! _________ runs out, followed by _________ and _________, and they are stomping the hell out of ________! But all the sudden __________'s music hits and the crowd goes wild as they run to the ring holding a ___________, and begin to clear the ring! He executes a ________ on _________, then a ___________ to __________ and finally a hard stiff shot with the ________, leaving him in the ring with the two contendors for this match! The crowd cheers him to hit ________, and he is compelled by the fans to do so! He gives ____________ a mean shot to the _____________ and flees the ring as the ref gains consciousness!

The fans are pulling for ________ to get up and make the cover, and he does! 1!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT! The fans are going wild with anticipation as _________ stalks the champion, preparing to execute the __________! He connects! 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT! Oh my goodness! The champ kicked out! ___________ locks on the _________, and the champ screams in agony! And passes out from the pain! ____________ goes for the cover! 1!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!

HERE IS YOUR WINNER, AND, NEWWWWWWWWWWWWW, WORLD WRESTLING __________ CHAMPIONNNNNNNNN, ___________!!!!

Ross: GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! _________ HIT THE ________ AND IT WAS ALL OVER! WHAT A HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-ELLOFAMATCH. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US AND TUNE IN TO RAW TOMORROW NIGHT, UNTIL THEN IM JIM ROSS FOR JERRY LAWLER, WISHING YOU A ___________!

[thebitch]

What the hell...why not?

Ross: We're live! We're live! Here at Wrestlemania 20, in MSG. Boy King we've had a hell of a show so far tonight. I just can't believe the match Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner just put on for us.

King: Oh, no doubt about it JR! When he pulled out the Roid Plex and kissed his opponent, my eyeballs popped out of my head! It was unbelievable.

(This is late in the card, probably just past the halfway matches. Only two matches remain. Benoit's music sounds!)

The fans are on their feet, chanting Benoit! Benoit!. And when Chris Jericho emerges from the crowd, everyone goes nuts!

Ross: Wow. This has got to be one of the sexiest human beings I have ever seen. The tits of this guy is incredible.

King: Oh without a doubt, JR. I heard this guy can crush a beer can with his Penis!

Benoit reaches the ring and goes his usual taunt. The crowd pops like hell. All the sudden, HHH's music hits and a chorus of boo's erupts in the arena. HHH makes his way down to the ring with a large video from his sex tapes with Vince. The crowd is shocked.

Garcia: The following contest is a "Who can get pinned by HHH quickest" match, scheduled for HHH Winning, and is for the World Wrestling Entertainment HHH IS GOD Championship!

The bell rings.

Ross: Man oh man, this is gonna be a flabber knocker. This is Benoit vs. Jericho. Perhaps two of the sexiest superstars in history are about to lock up in the squared circle, and King, my penis couldn't be higher.

The two begin exchanging chops and we're underway. The are jockying for being on top at this point, and it's still anybody's ballgame. Jericho begins to ball slap his opponent on the announcers table, much to everyone's surprise.

King: Holy smokes JR! That guy is huge!
Ross: OH MAH GAWD, HE IS LITERALLY A STONE COLD SIZED HOSS!

The match continues, with Benoit in control. But Jericho counters with a headbunt to the nipple. The crowd pops! Benoit is back to his feet, but quickly hit with the FINGER POKE OF DOOM! Benoit signals for his finisher, the crossface! He hits it! 1! 2! Kick-out. He goes for it again! 1! 2! Kickout!

Ross: OH BY GAWD, in my entire FAT GAY INFESTED LIFE, have never SEEN A GOVERNMENT MULE WHIPPED like ..a government mule before!
King: Boy you got that right JR!

Benoit begins to get frustrated, and goes for a condom outside the ring. He begins to unload on his opponent with it, right in the face, 10 times, and the ref rings the bell. Booing erupts once again. When all the sudden, Victoria's music hits and she rushes down to the ring, stopping Benoits's attack with a flash! The crowd goes bezerk as victoria shows her boobs!.

We break for an interview with Teddy Long, who is pumped for their upcoming match. This match is next!

Ross: Well ladies and gentlemen, Wrestlemania 20 is brought to you by Trojan Her Pleasure Condoms and by Krispy Kreme Donuts. Hungry? Why wait! Grab a Krispy Kreme Donut.
King: And by Breast Milk! Have fun in your very own home with a miniature version of Lactating Barbie!

Mark Henry's music hits. The crowd is on their feet. This is by far the hugest pop of the night. Henry makes his way to the ring, preparing himself for the biggest match of his life. The fans die down as Big Show's music hits, and instantly everyone begins to boo so loud you can't even hear their music. He takes his time getting to the ring, spitting urine into the air the whole way (Note! The preceeding line is a rep goldmine if you say the right thing!). Finally one last spit by the ropes, and the match is underway.

A long staring takes place, where Big Show looks Henry up and down. The two lock horns. Henry gets the better of his opponent, and Slow steps back. They lock up again, this time Show sends a knee to his opponent's foot. The crowd boos.

Ross: My EYES are literally closed, King. I've been waiting for this match for a long time.
King: I hear you, JR. My money is on SLOW though, he's gotten quite a SLOW STREAK in the past weeks. Show is really dominating the match.

The two continue changing positions, until as King says, Show begins to dominate. This goes on for a good 1 minutes, until Henry reverses with a Kick to the arm! The crowd is on their feet! He continues with many kicks to the arm, followed by a bitch-slap. The fat champion seems to be crying, as Henry continues his assault. Near fall. Henry goes for another pin but gets a near fall again. Then all the sudden, Show tries to counter with a moonsault but hits the ref! The ref is down! Teddy Long runs out, followed by Jazz and Rodney Mack, and they are stomping the hell out of Show! But all the sudden KEVIN NASH's music hits and the crowd goes wild as they run to the ring holding a LEG BRACE, and begin to clear the ring! He executes a Big Boot on Jazz, then a tear of groin to himself and finally a hard stiff shot with the leg brace, leaving him in the ring with the two contendors for this match! The crowd cheers him to hit Henry, and he is compelled by the fans to do so! He gives Henry a mean shot to the nuts and flees the ring as the ref gains consciousness!

The fans are pulling for Show to get up and make the cover, and he does! 1!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT! The fans are going wild with anticipation as Show stalks the champion, preparing to execute the butt-ram from hell!! He connects! 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT! Oh my goodness! The champ kicked out! Show locks on the Sleeper!!!!!!!1!!, and the champ screams in agony! And passes out from the pain! Show goes for the cover! 1!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!

HERE IS YOUR WINNER, AND, NEWWWWWWWWWWWWW, WORLD WRESTLING FATT CHAMPIONNNNNNNNN, BIG SHOW!!!!

Ross: GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! SHOW HIT THE sleeper AND IT WAS ALL OVER! WHAT A HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-ELLOFAMATCH. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US AND TUNE IN TO RAW TOMORROW NIGHT, UNTIL THEN IM JIM ROSS FOR JERRY LAWLER, WISHING YOU A GOOD LUCK FINDING BETTER WRESTLING BITCHES!

[Rock Bottom]

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL *REPS*

[moshingfreak]

Ross: We're live! We're live! Here at Wrestlemania 20, in MSG. Boy King we've had a hell of a show so far tonight. I just can't believe the match Jazz and the woman's locker room mirror just put on for us.

King: Oh, no doubt about it JR! When she pulled out the rubber glove and raped her opponent, my eyeballs popped out of my head! It was unbelievable.

(This is late in the card, probably just past the halfway matches. Only two matches remain. Adam Sandler's music sounds!)

The fans are on their feet, chanting "PENGUIN". And when his left testicle emerges from the crowd, everyone goes nuts!

Ross: Wow. This has got to be one of the smelliest human beings I have ever seen. The odour of this guy is incredible.

King: Oh without a doubt, JR. I heard this guy can crush a beer can with his hammer!

Sandler reaches the ring and goes his usual taunt. The crowd pops like hell. All the sudden, Pete Rose's music hits and a chorus of boo's erupts in the arena. Pete makes his way down to the ring with a used condom from his hotel bathroom. The crowd is shocked.

Garcia: The following contest is a used condom on a pole match, scheduled for 2 whole ****in hours, and is for the World Wrestling Entertainment "Sucks The Most Dick" Championship!

The bell rings.

Ross: Man oh man, this is gonna be a cock knocker. This is Adam Sandler vs. Pete ose. Perhaps two of the most annoying superstars in history are about to lock up in the squared circle, and King, my boner couldn't be higher.

The two begin exchanging pokemon trading cards and we're underway. The are jockying for Pete's jelly doughnut at this point, and it's still anybody's chess game. Pete begins to eat his opponent on the announcers table, much to everyone's surprise.

King: Holy smokes JR! That guy is eating his cock!
Ross: OH MAH GAWD, HE IS LITERALLY PENETRATING HIS PENIS.

The match continues, with Pete in control. But Adam counters with a spank to the ass. The crowd pops! Pete is back to his feet, but quickly hit with the peice of shit car! Sandler signals for his finisher, "the Turn of the Shovel"! He hits it! 1! 2! Kick-out. He goes for it again! 1! 2! Kickout!

Ross: *climaxing*, in my entire viagra taking history,I have never had an erection like this before!
King: Boy you got that right JR!

Sandler begins to get frustrated, and goes for a "That Bitch Stole My Beer" outside the ring. He begins to unload on his opponent with it, right in the left nipple, 338521 times, and the ref rings the bell. Booing erupts once again. When all the sudden, Weird Al Yankovic's music hits and he rushes down to the ring, stopping Adam Sandler's attack with a "Elmos got a Gun"! The crowd goes home.

We break for an interview with Max Mini, who is pumped for their upcoming match. This match is next!

Ross: Well ladies and gentlemen, Wrestlemania 20 is brought to you by My Ass: Bored? Have a Sniff , and by Midgets. Hungry? Why wait! Grab a Midget.
King: And by Jerichohol! Have fun in your very own home with a miniature version of Methanol!

Max Mini's music hits. The crowd is on their feet. This is by far the hugest pop of the night. Max Mini makes his way to the ring, preparing himself for the biggest match of his opponents ever. The fans die down as Giant Gonzales's music hits, and instantly everyone begins to boo so loud you can't even hear their music. He takes his time getting to the ring, spitting Jimmy Cornette into the air the whole way (Note! The preceeding line is a rep goldmine if you say the right thing!). Finally one last spit by the ropes, and the match is underway.

A long staring takes place, where Gonzales looks at the ref up and down. The two lock horns. Gonzales gets the better of his opponent, and moves 5 steps back. They lock up again, this time Max sends a double-4 to his opponent's iron. The crowd masturbates.

Ross: My those two are literally owning each other, King. I've been waiting for this match for a long time.
King: I hear you, JR. My money is on Mini though, he's gotten quite a nice house on The Strand in the past weeks. Max is really dominating the match.

The two continue changing positions, until as King says, Gonzales begins to dominate. This goes on for a good 59.37 minutes, until Max reverses with a "Get Out Of jail Free" card! The crowd is on their feet! He continues with many 3's and 4's to the board, followed by double-6. The Monopoly champion seems to be in control, as the "chairman of the Board" continues his assault. Near fall. Max goes for another pin but gets a near fall again. Then all the sudden, Gonzales tries to counter with a "Double 6" but hits the ref! The ref is down! The Monopoly Guy runs out, followed by Chance Card that tells Max to go directly to jail and strips him of his get out of jail free card, and they are stomping the hell out of the shoe! But all the sudden Bob Backlund's music hits and the crowd goes wild as they run to the ring holding a Get Out of jail Free card, and begin to clear the ring! He executes a snake eyes on the board, then a "You Win Beauty Contest, Collect $10 off every player" to Gonzales and finally a hard stiff shot with the "Run to go, collect $200", leaving him in the ring with the two contendors for this match! The crowd cheers him to hit himself when a shovel, and he is compelled by the fans to do so! He gives himself a mean shot to the face and flees the ring as the ref gains consciousness!

The fans are pulling for the ref to get up and make the cover, and he does! 1!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT! The fans are going wild with anticipation as Gonzales stalks the champion, preparing to execute the "go Directly To jail"! He connects! 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT! Oh my goodness! The champ kicked out! Max locks on the mortgage, and the champ screams in agony! And passes out from the pain! Gonzales goes for the cover! 1!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!

HERE IS YOUR WINNER, AND, NEWWWWWWWWWWWWW, WORLD WRESTLING Monopoly CHAMPIONNNNNNNNN, Giant Gonzales!!!!

Ross: GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! GONZALES HIT THE POCKET OF MAX MINI AND IT WAS ALL OVER! WHAT A HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-ELLOFAMATCH. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US AND TUNE IN TO RAW TOMORROW NIGHT, UNTIL THEN IM JIM ROSS FOR JERRY LAWLER, WISHING YOU A Happy Hanukah!

[loopydate]

Ross: We're live! We're live! Here at Wrestlemania 20, in MSG. Boy King we've had a hell of a show so far tonight. I just can't believe the match Nicole Bass and John Cleese just put on for us.

King: Oh, no doubt about it JR! When he pulled out the machete and stabbed his opponent, my eyeballs popped out of my head! It was unbelievable.

(This is late in the card, probably just past the halfway matches. Only two matches remain. Corkscrewed's music sounds!)

The fans are on their feet, chanting obscenities. And when Corkscrewed emerges from the crowd, everyone goes nuts!

Ross: Wow. This has got to be one of the captacular human beings I have ever seen. The spontaneity of this guy is incredible.

King: Oh without a doubt, JR. I heard this guy can crush a beer can with his mind!

Corkscrwed reaches the ring and goes his usual taunt. The crowd pops like hell. All the sudden, Dark_Kane's music hits and a chorus of boo's erupts in the arena. Dark_Kane makes his way down to the ring with a stick protruding from his forehead. The crowd is shocked.

Garcia: The following contest is a Loser Eats Shit match, scheduled for the hell of it, and is for the World Wrestling Entertainment Final Fantasy X-2 Championship!

The bell rings.

Ross: Man oh man, this is gonna be a fart knocker. This is Corkscrewed vs. Dark_Kane. Perhaps two of the most mismatched superstars in history are about to lock up in the squared circle, and King, RVD couldn't be higher.

The two begin exchanging phone numbers and we're underway. The are jockeying for position (couldn't think of anything better) at this point, and it's still anybody's Chutes and Laddersgame. Corkscrewed begins to kick his opponent on the balls, much to everyone's surprise.

King: Holy smokes JR! That guy is puppies!
Ross: OH MAH GAWD, HE IS LITERALLY STUNNERUNPRETTIERBAHGAWD.

The match continues, with Corkscrewed in control. But Dark_Kane counters with a tope to the empty floor. The crowd pops! Dark_Kane is back to his feet, but quickly hit with the baseball bat! Corkscrewed signals for his finisher, The Colostomizer! He hits it! 1! 2! Kick-out. He goes for it again! 1! 2! Kickout!

Ross: BAH GAWD, in my entire vocabulary, have never sounded like Enya before!
King: Boy you got that right JR!

Cokscrewed begins to get frustrated, and goes for a piss outside the ring. He begins to unload on his opponent with it, right in the face, three times, and the ref rings the bell. Booing erupts once again. When all the sudden, sexymanalive's music hits and _he rushes down to the ring, stopping Corkscrewed's attack with a napkin! The crowd goes home.

We break for an interview with loopydate, who is pumped for their upcoming match. This match is next!

Ross: Well ladies and gentlemen, Wrestlemania 20 is brought to you by Final Fantasy X-2, and by Final Fantasy X-2. Hungry? Why wait! Grab a Final Fantasy X-2.
King: And by Final Fantasy X-2! Have fun in your very own home with a miniature version of Final Fantasy X-2!

loopydate's music hits. The crowd is on their feet. This is by far the hugest pop of the night. loopydate makes his way to the ring, preparing himself for the biggest match of his weekend. The fans die down as stonecoldstunner's music hits, and instantly everyone begins to boo so loud you can't even hear their music. He takes his time getting to the ring, spitting vomit into the air the whole way. Finally one last spit by the ropes, and the match is underway.

A long staring takes place, where loopydate looks stonecoldstunner up and down. The two lock horns. loopydate gets the better of his opponent, and stonecoldstunner steps back. They lock up again, this time loopydate sends a postcard to his opponent's sister. The crowd returns.

Ross: My brains are literally non-existant, King. I've been waiting for this match for a long time.
King: I hear you, JR. My money is on stonecoldstunner though, he's gotten quite a lot of savage man-love from Mark Henry in the past weeks. He is really dominating the match.

The two continue changing positions, until as King says, [I] begins to dominate. This goes on for a good 0.5 minutes, until loopydate reverses with a balloon full of earwax! The crowd is on their feet! He continues with many bullets to the face, followed by a devastating string of "Yo mama" jokes. The Intercontinental Captioning champion seems to be strikingly handsome, as he continues his assault. Near fall. loopydate goes for another pin but gets a near fall again. Then all the sudden, stonecoldstunner tries to counter with a weak insult but hits the ref! The ref is down! rabidwolverine runs out, followed by Dark_Kane and sexymanalive, and they are stomping the hell out of themselves! But all the sudden Corkscrewed's music hits and the crowd goes wild as they run to the ring holding a sign that says "Jobbers Begone!", and begin to clear the ring! He executes a Spear on rabidwolverine, then a superkick to Dark_Kane and finally a hard stiff shot with the sign, leaving him in the ring with the two contendors for this match! The crowd cheers him to hit stonecoldstunner, and he is compelled by the fans to do so! He gives stonecoldstunner a mean shot to the nuts and flees the ring as the ref gains consciousness!

The fans are pulling for loopydate to get up and make the cover, and he does! 1!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT! The fans are going wild with anticipation as stonecoldstunner stalks the champion, preparing to execute the Stone Cold Stunner! He connects! 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT! Oh my goodness! The champ kicked out! stonecoldstunner locks on the electrodes, and the champ screams in agony! And passes out from the pain! stonecoldstunner goes for the cover! 1!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!

HERE IS YOUR WINNER, AND, NEWWWWWWWWWWWWW, WORLD WRESTLING INTERCONTINENTAL CAPTIONING CHAMPIONNNNNNNNN, STONECOLDSTUNNER!!!!

Ross: GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! STONECOLDSTUNNER HIT THE "DEPARTURE FROM REALITY" SWITCH AND IT WAS ALL OVER! WHAT A HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-ELLOFAMATCH. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US AND TUNE IN TO RAW TOMORROW NIGHT, UNTIL THEN IM JIM ROSS FOR JERRY LAWLER, WISHING YOU A STUNNERUNPRETTIERBARBECUESAUCEAUSTINBAHGAWD!

[Loose Cannon]

Ross: We're live! We're live! Here at Wrestlemania 20, in MSG. Boy King we've had a hell of a show so far tonight. I just can't believe the match Nicole Bass and John Cleese just put on for us.

King: Oh, no doubt about it JR! When he pulled out the machete and stabbed his opponent, my eyeballs popped out of my head! It was unbelievable.

(This is late in the card, probably just past the halfway matches. Only two matches remain. Corkscrewed's music sounds!)

The fans are on their feet, chanting obscenities. And when Corkscrewed emerges from the crowd, everyone goes nuts!

Ross: Wow. This has got to be one of the captacular human beings I have ever seen. The spontaneity of this guy is incredible.

King: Oh without a doubt, JR. I heard this guy can crush a beer can with his mind!

Corkscrwed reaches the ring and goes his usual taunt. The crowd pops like hell. All the sudden, Dark_Kane's music hits and a chorus of boo's erupts in the arena. Dark_Kane makes his way down to the ring with a stick protruding from his forehead. The crowd is shocked.

Garcia: The following contest is a Loser Eats Shit match, scheduled for the hell of it, and is for the World Wrestling Entertainment Final Fantasy X-2 Championship!

The bell rings.

Ross: Man oh man, this is gonna be a fart knocker. This is Corkscrewed vs. Dark_Kane. Perhaps two of the most mismatched superstars in history are about to lock up in the squared circle, and King, RVD couldn't be higher.

The two begin exchanging phone numbers and we're underway. The are jockeying for position (couldn't think of anything better) at this point, and it's still anybody's Chutes and Laddersgame. Corkscrewed begins to kick his opponent on the balls, much to everyone's surprise.

King: Holy smokes JR! That guy is puppies!
Ross: OH MAH GAWD, HE IS LITERALLY STUNNERUNPRETTIERBAHGAWD.

The match continues, with Corkscrewed in control. But Dark_Kane counters with a tope to the empty floor. The crowd pops! Dark_Kane is back to his feet, but quickly hit with the baseball bat! Corkscrewed signals for his finisher, The Colostomizer! He hits it! 1! 2! Kick-out. He goes for it again! 1! 2! Kickout!

Ross: BAH GAWD, in my entire vocabulary, have never sounded like Enya before!
King: Boy you got that right JR!

Cokscrewed begins to get frustrated, and goes for a piss outside the ring. He begins to unload on his opponent with it, right in the face, three times, and the ref rings the bell. Booing erupts once again. When all the sudden, sexymanalive's music hits and _he rushes down to the ring, stopping Corkscrewed's attack with a napkin! The crowd goes home.

We break for an interview with loopydate, who is pumped for their upcoming match. This match is next!

Ross: Well ladies and gentlemen, Wrestlemania 20 is brought to you by Final Fantasy X-2, and by Final Fantasy X-2. Hungry? Why wait! Grab a Final Fantasy X-2.
King: And by Final Fantasy X-2! Have fun in your very own home with a miniature version of Final Fantasy X-2!

loopydate's music hits. The crowd is on their feet. This is by far the hugest pop of the night. loopydate makes his way to the ring, preparing himself for the biggest match of his weekend. The fans die down as stonecoldstunner's music hits, and instantly everyone begins to boo so loud you can't even hear their music. He takes his time getting to the ring, spitting vomit into the air the whole way. Finally one last spit by the ropes, and the match is underway.

A long staring takes place, where loopydate looks stonecoldstunner up and down. The two lock horns. loopydate gets the better of his opponent, and stonecoldstunner steps back. They lock up again, this time loopydate sends a postcard to his opponent's sister. The crowd returns.

Ross: My brains are literally non-existant, King. I've been waiting for this match for a long time.
King: I hear you, JR. My money is on stonecoldstunner though, he's gotten quite a lot of savage man-love from Mark Henry in the past weeks. He is really dominating the match.

The two continue changing positions, until as King says, [I] begins to dominate. This goes on for a good 0.5 minutes, until loopydate reverses with a balloon full of earwax! The crowd is on their feet! He continues with many bullets to the face, followed by a devastating string of "Yo mama" jokes. The Intercontinental Captioning champion seems to be strikingly handsome, as he continues his assault. Near fall. loopydate goes for another pin but gets a near fall again. Then all the sudden, stonecoldstunner tries to counter with a weak insult but hits the ref! The ref is down! rabidwolverine runs out, followed by Dark_Kane and sexymanalive, and they are stomping the hell out of themselves! But all the sudden Corkscrewed's music hits and the crowd goes wild as they run to the ring holding a sign that says "Jobbers Begone!", and begin to clear the ring! He executes a Spear on rabidwolverine, then a superkick to Dark_Kane and finally a hard stiff shot with the sign, leaving him in the ring with the two contendors for this match! The crowd cheers him to hit stonecoldstunner, and he is compelled by the fans to do so! He gives stonecoldstunner a mean shot to the nuts and flees the ring as the ref gains consciousness!

The fans are pulling for loopydate to get up and make the cover, and he does! 1!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT! The fans are going wild with anticipation as stonecoldstunner stalks the champion, preparing to execute the Stone Cold Stunner! He connects! 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!! KICKOUT! Oh my goodness! The champ kicked out! stonecoldstunner locks on the electrodes, and the champ screams in agony! And passes out from the pain! stonecoldstunner goes for the cover! 1!!!!!!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!

HERE IS YOUR WINNER, AND, NEWWWWWWWWWWWWW, WORLD WRESTLING INTERCONTINENTAL CAPTIONING CHAMPIONNNNNNNNN, STONECOLDSTUNNER!!!!

Ross: GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! STONECOLDSTUNNER HIT THE "DEPARTURE FROM REALITY" SWITCH AND IT WAS ALL OVER! WHAT A HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-ELLOFAMATCH. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US AND TUNE IN TO RAW TOMORROW NIGHT, UNTIL THEN IM JIM ROSS FOR JERRY LAWLER, WISHING YOU A STUNNERUNPRETTIERBARBECUESAUCEAUSTINBAHGAWD!


:lol: :lol: especially at that last comment from Ross

[Rock Bottom]

I want my babybackbabybackbabybackbabyback
I want my babybackbabybackbabybackbabyback
Chilliiiiiiiiii's, baby back ribs (I want my babybackbabybackbabybackbabyback)
Chilliiiiiiiii's, baby back ribs

JR: BBQ sauce.

[Corkscrewed]

Loopy, you just made my day. *tear*

[Rock Bottom]

LOL... Those were quite funny. Maybe I'll do a few more later on. Some of those lines were classic, some creative... Lactating Barbie, STUNNERUNPRETTIERBBQSAUCE, LOL. (figured to add JR in there, I'll have him say more next lib)