The State

[Triple A]

Did anybody used to watch this?

Sketch comedy show on MTV in like 1993-1995.

Stars the guys from Stella and a few other guys.

Michael Ian Black is the fucking funniest guy ever.

Yeah I dunno, it is not on TV or DVD anywhere right now but I DLed it from torrents and it is ocassionally hilarious.

[What Would Kevin Do?]

HOLY SHIT!

Everytime I mention this show I get blank looks from people. Great shit though, I loved it.

"Whatever you do, don't walk through that big open unguarded door over there."........

[Loose Cannon]

Yes, finally someone else knows it. I mentioned it in another thread about a month ago. I really don't remember much, but remember it was hillarious.

[AareDub]

Is that the one that had the "I want to dip my balls in it" bit?

[Triple A]

Announcer: And now Louie, the guy who comes in and says his catchphrase over and over again.
Louie: Hey, everybody!
All: Hey, Louie!
Louie: Hey, who's got something to drink?
Woman: I do... over there.
Louie: What is it?
Woman: A martini.
Louie: A martini? I wanna dip my balls in it!
[Crowd cheers]
Louie: Hey, whatcha got there?
Flemish Terrorist #3: It's an M-16. What do you want with it?
Louie: What do I want with it? I wanna dip my balls in it!
Flemish Terrorist #2: I find him infectious and amusing this Louie character.
Louie: Who's got some deviled eggs?
Woman: I do.
Louie: I wanna dip my balls in it.
Man: Monogrammed silk handkerchief.
Louie: I would like to dip my balls in it.
Flemish Terrorist #2: Silence! Louie... a hand grenade?
Louie: Ah hell who gives a damn? I wanna dip my balls in it!
Flemish Terrorist #3: Top secret documents?
Louie: I wanna file them!
Crowd: Awwwwww... Louie?
Louie: You've heard it all before.
Man: No we haven't!
Louie: You've heard it all before.
Flemish Terrorists: No... *we* haven't.
Louie: You've heard it all before!
All: No we haven't!
Flemish Terrorist #1: Say the catchphrase or the Prime Minister dies!
Prime Minister: Don't say it on my account, Louie.
Louie: I'm sorry, I can't say it.
All: Louie! Louie! Louie! Louie!
Louie: Hey, everybody...
All: I wanna dip my balls in it!

[What Would Kevin Do?]

And let's not forget the "I'm outta here" guy.

[Triple A]

CAPTAIN MONTEREY JACK is the best. I love Michael Ian Black. :love:


HEY! My name is Captain Monterey Jack.......and I'm not tripping here, but that's exactly what you folks will be doing if you don't tie your shoes. Now maybe your friends think you're square if you tie your shoes. You know, square...I've got a square head, ya know. Three things that are square: cheese, plates and bears. This isn't a game here okay, this isn't the NBA and my name isn't Charles Buckley. HEY! Your shoes are time bombs, waiting to explode. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Shakin the room!

Let's take some Q&A!

Uhm, what if my shoelace breaks and I can't tie my shoe?

Hey! What if my nose falls off and I can't smell? What if my pants fall off and everybody's lookin at my weiner? You deal, or you die. By the way, your shoe's untied...Made you look. You have to know, you understand me? You have to always be aware!

I love you Captain Monterey Jack.

Alright, I'm not that crazy about you.

Okay...

I'm Doug. I think tying shoes is for sissies.

Hey Doug, if I wanna hear foul language I'll go home, I'll turn on Marky Mark and the Funny Bunch. I don't need to listen to your smart mouth. Do you understand?

Yeah.

And shoe tying is not for sissies, okay? But wearing glasses is, so that guy's a sissy. Well I've gotta go guys, but remember this: You can walk a mile in a man's shoes, but to get inside his head, you'd have to get really small and crawl up his nose. I'm Captain Monterey Jack thanks for your time.

[Triple A]

Call me old fashioned, but I still believe there's only one true god. And he lives in this lake. And his name is Zorgo.

[Triple A]

Are you tired of the same 'ol potato salad? Do you need someone to make you some new potato salad? I'm Don Law, I can make you some new potato salad. Just call.