Raw Thread 4/17/06 "Crisis Sucks"

[Savio]

http://www.wwe.com/content/media/touts/feature/29062/2551506 (http://www.wwe.com/shows/raw/preview/)

Last week, it was Triple H (http://www.wwe.com/superstars/raw/tripleh/) seething after being hit with an FU, while Edge (http://www.wwe.com/superstars/raw/edge/) tapped out from the agony of the STFU. What will The Champ’s Backlash (http://www.wwe.com/shows/backlash/) opponents have to say for themselves this week on RAW (http://www.wwe.com/shows/raw/)?
Last Monday, Rob Van Dam (http://www.wwe.com/superstars/raw/robvandam/) and Shelton Benjamin (http://www.wwe.com/superstars/raw/sheltonbenjamin/) traded match proposals. Will they settle their differences this week on RAW? And Trish turned the tables by becoming Mickie’s “obsessed fan.” How will the psycho Women’s Champion respond to Trish’s unexpected behavior?
And none other than Good Ole J.R. will interview Chavo Guerrero, who quit after an emotional match recently on RAW. What will Chavo have to say now that he’s had time to reflect?
All this and much more on Monday Night RAW (9/8 CT; USA Network).

[HaTeR]

dot

[UmbrellaCorporation]

Thread title FTW.

[Nervous Ferret]

Nervous Ferret FINALLY makes his return, to the RAW thread.

[St. Jimmy]

*hoping for entertaining promo beginning of show*

[loopydate]

*Hoping for entertaining match beginning of show*

[Azriel]

They rarely have a match to start the night.

by the way, Finally Azriel has come back to the RAW thread. WOOO!!

[ClockShot]

Which thread are we using tonight? But seeing as how Savior has the post lead and rep. This seems fine.

[Kalyx triaD]

I have a problem with the Thread title...

[Blitz]

Fucking stupid TSN. Delayed to 9:30.

[Azriel]

So, is Chavo going to set JR on fire? :lol:

[ClockShot]

Doubt it. But I wouldn't mind seeing Undertaker lightning. BTW. RAW is in St. Louis tonight. What are the odds orton will drop by?:roll:

[Indifferent Clox]

Or Nelly...:shifty:

[Blitz]

Doubt it. But I wouldn't mind seeing Undertaker lightning. BTW. RAW is in St. Louis tonight. What are the odds orton will drop by?:roll:

I would say very very low.

[ClockShot]

And here we go.

[St. Jimmy]

THE POWER... IS BACK!

*yawn*

[Azriel]

Here we go!

[Azriel]

Vince going to call out God tonight?

[St. Jimmy]

oh. it's vince. *changes channel*

[ClockShot]

Getting the ball rolling with Vince eh.

[loopydate]

Well, I guess I get to keep on dreaming (of actual wrestling kicking off RAW) for another week.

[ThruTheWire]

Fucking stupid TSN. Delayed to 9:30.

Yeah, weak.

[ClockShot]

Really. What's it like?

[6to1]

so when does bischoff come back time to send vince backstage.

[St. Jimmy]

... seriously, Russo is in the back, isn't it?

he's in a chair, with a bottle of beam... writing this as it happens...

[loopydate]

Does this remind me of a bad (is there another kind?) Family Guy joke?

"Hey Brian, remember that time I was Moses?"

[ClockShot]

Crowd is sorta dead on this segment.

[6to1]

boring boring boring ha ha ha

[loopydate]

:rofl: @ "Boring" chants!

[St. Jimmy]

:blah:

[Xero]

I thought he would have used my Photoshop decending on his chair. :shifty:

You know that McMahonisim will probably become the next scientology...

[Azriel]

Come on Shawn, save this segment

[G-wrath]

*crash boom*

[Batsu]

GONG.

[Xero]

Michaels is such a fucking hypocrite...

[ClockShot]

Well.....He got struck down.

[St. Jimmy]

lameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[G-wrath]

New shirt? :heart:

[Azriel]

Thank you Shawn

[Xero]

I was really expecting a "lightning bolt" to stike him.

[darkpower]

It had some funny moments....but pretty...well...BORING!

[ClockShot]

Balloons. Where they come from?

[Batsu]

DX!!!

[St. Jimmy]

*rolls eyes* not even GOD could have saved that segment.

[Xero]

Balloons. Where they come from?
My guess is JBL's US Title celebration. Tonight is a Supershow and they always do SmackDown! first. (Unless it's on the west coast.)

[Azriel]

The Con Man on RAW

[loopydate]

*rolls eyes* not even GOD could have saved that segment.]

I don't know. I've heard good things about His promo skills.

[G-wrath]

That m&m's commercial made me hungry...gonna go get some easter candy.

[St. Jimmy]

LMAO @ Trips.

[loopydate]

Every time Vince & HHH do a backstage segment, I always get this weird flash of R.J. Fletcher's son from "UHF."

"But Daaaaaaaaaaaaaad!"

[ClockShot]

Should be interesting.

[Xero]

What, no Fag Squad?

[UmbrellaCorporation]

Conway FTW!

[loopydate]

Here comes Kane.

[Azriel]

well, who didn't see that handicapped match coming? :roll:

[G-wrath]

lol I thought that was God for a minute.

[St. Jimmy]

lol. poor conway. he'll never get a break.

[Batsu]

Well, at least Conway doesn't look like Buff Bagwell anymore.

[loopydate]

Crap. I didn't press "Post Quick Reply" soon enough. Now it looks like I was commenting on the fact that Kane was coming to the ring instead of correctly predicting that Kane was about to come out and squash Conway.

[darkpower]

What, no Fag Squad?

No, but we get the coming of the May 19th.

[G-wrath]

I wonder if we will ever find out who the 'voices' are coming from.

[Azriel]

It's psycho Kane

[ClockShot]

So what's the storyline with Kane. We ever come up with a logical explaniation yet on this and the release of his movie?

[loopydate]

:roll:

[Batsu]

Kane, WTF?

[G-wrath]

lol I see a great caption pic right there...

[St. Jimmy]

"DOES KANE HAVE TO CHOKE A BITCH?!"

[Batsu]

THE BIG SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!

[G-wrath]

lol @ the pants...

[The Greater Power]

lol @ Show in pants

[darkpower]

Lillian likes it rough, I betcha.

[Batsu]

TSN just switched to Relax-O-Vision earlier....

[loopydate]

What, is "May 19th" the secret word in Pee-Wee's Playhouse this week?

[Batsu]

LOL! Big Slow rules in scenes like this.

[Batsu]

What, is "May 19th" the secret word in Pee-Wee's Playhouse this week?

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

[ClockShot]

Well. That's 20 minutes of my life wasted.

[Xero]

What, is "May 19th" the secret word in Pee-Wee's Playhouse this week?
It's when See No Evil debuts and apparently Kane did something on that date.

It no doubt has something to do with a car, a shovel, and a girl named "Katie".

[The Greater Power]

Kane trailer on unlimted

[Azriel]

Even though this is weird, its good seeing psycho Kane again

[darkpower]

MAY 19th!!

Maybe that's

[darkpower]

MAY 19th!!

Maybe that's when Kane sucked Vince's dick last year to get that push he eventually got...or something.

[G-wrath]

btw Happy Belated Birthday darkpower

[Xero]

For some reason I see this leading up to him putting the mask back on. At least for a short while.

Prehapse they'll have a "shaddowy" figure start attacking people, then we finally see him in the light and it's Kane in his mask and old attire.

[Xero]

Double post... So here's betting that Chavo goes crazy in this interview and brings back his toy horse. What's his name again?

[St. Jimmy]

It's when See No Evil debuts and apparently Kane did something on that date.

It no doubt has something to do with a car, a shovel, and a girl named "Katie".

as long as the Fake Katie Vick funeral scene is played again,
i am for this entire thing.

[ClockShot]

Getting ready for the interview.

[St. Jimmy]

OOH! LETS PLAY THE CHAVO GAME.

everytime someone says "Eddie", drink.

READY! Go!

[Azriel]

Chavo/JR interview

[Savio]

Kane bought a Ford Escort on may 19th

[darkpower]

Oh, sorry about all those posts. The quick reply button went psycho on me.

[St. Jimmy]

Chavo: "maybe i should be a wrestler man, maybe i should go back to the car wash, i quit man!"

[G-wrath]

BAHGAWD I miss JR

[Xero]

Hey, if Chavo quit why is he even here? Doesn't quitting mean that he can never come back and can't get on TV?

[The Greater Power]

I see some lighter fluid in the background.....

[Xero]

Chavo is just one big disappointment.

[Azriel]

I think you're going to get drunk then Jimmy

[darkpower]

Something tells me that he is going to say that he didn't quit the WWE, but RAW, and he signed with SmackDown or something.

[St. Jimmy]

*SOB* oh boohoohoo.

[Xero]

Next week:

Chavo: You want a churro? It's made with lard.

[ClockShot]

"Why Uncle, why lend your strength to Rey Mysterio, and not me?"

[The Optimist]

Why do they still feel the need to justify the whole "Kane is crazy" thing, I mean it would be nice to have some explanation but they have already destroyed the thing to hell. I would like to see them just ignore the whole thing and make him the emotionless slaughter everything that moved guy again. . .slaughter everyone except Big Show
<3 Big Show

[Azriel]

Is he injured?

[G-wrath]

Well if this isn't an angle...then Vince put him up to this in a 'respectable' way (hard to say that word in the same sentence as Vince).
Vince: We have no money to keep you anymore, we need it for the new tit search....errr I mean the new diva search, shoot a small angle saying you quit.

[Azriel]

Maria :drool:

[darkpower]

MARIA!! ::drool::

[SuperSlim]

meh

[darkpower]

HAHAHA! @ the two "cowmen" kissing.

[Xero]

It's probably just a great big angle where, in a few weeks, we won't have heard of Chavo for a while and he'll jump the rail and attack Cena.

OH MY GOD WHERE DID HE COME FROM!? OMFG HES NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! OMG EDDIE CAME TO HIM IN A DREAM AND TOLD HIM TO STOP THE WIGGER!

[Savio]

ABT!

[St. Jimmy]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Xero Limit 126 again.

you're my hero <3

[Azriel]

I still think Maria should make out with a fan

[Xero]

Oh GOD, not COACH.

[Azriel]

Oh God, why is Coach ring announcing?

[Batsu]

LOL @ "Unfortunately"

[Azriel]

Interesting stipulation

[Xero]

Yeah, Coach doesn't have a voice for being a ring announcer.

[St. Jimmy]

so RVD vs. Shelton for the IC title @ backlash. good to know.

[ClockShot]

NO WAY!

[zdmay]

Did The Rock have a garage sale or something?

[Batsu]

LMAO @ Shelto --- WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!! CHARLIE HAAS!!!

[Xero]

OMFG!!!

[G-wrath]

IMO IMO!

[The Optimist]

Shout Out for Charlie Haas

[darkpower]

HOLY SHIT!!! CHARLIE HAAS IS BACK!!!

[ClockShot]

CHARLIE HAAS!

[Azriel]

Well, that was shocking

[Xero]

MARK THE FUCK OUT!

[Volchok]

woah!!!

[Xero]

LOL, he looks like a small Matt Morgan with that beard.

[Skippord]

Marks OUT

[Xero]

Wasn't he blonde?

[AJHayes]

I marked so hard, I need to change my pants.

[redoneja]

Somewhere, Alienoid has just urinated, ejaculated, and defecated in his pants.

[Azriel]

This will be awesome

[SuperSlim]

at least this is gonna be good

[loopydate]

It's when See No Evil debuts and apparently Kane did something on that date.

It no doubt has something to do with a car, a shovel, and a girl named "Katie".

I know. It's just that every time someone says it, they get a chokeslam, and I can faintly hear a pterodactyl, my armchair, and a floating genie head going "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

...maybe I'm just going nuts again.

Can you guys hear my head-voices?

(On the plus side, CHARLIE FREAKING HAAS looks great tonight. Hopefully this will go somewhere.)

[Batsu]

LMAO @ Shelton imitating RVD.

[The Optimist]

Hass has been with Shelton's momma. . .btw what are they chanting?

[Azriel]

:lol:@guys mentioning Shelton's mama

[ClockShot]

:D Charile chant!

[SuperSlim]

wooooo

[Batsu]

LMFAO!!!! More RVD impersonations!

[loopydate]

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

[The Optimist]

YES its official Charlie Haas kicks ass again

[Azriel]

IC title on the line.

[The Optimist]

Who said hiney in that divas commercial?

[ClockShot]

WOW. Unexpected.

[Bo]

I just marked out for the first time in like a year.

[Azriel]

I think that was Candice

[zdmay]

LOL at Smackdown signs.

[Batsu]

Well, that was a pleasant surprise. Perfect way to bring Haas back on TV.

[Skippord]

Charlie iz teh goodz

[Azriel]

Now, are they going to bring back Jackie soon too?

[Savio]

Wasn't he blonde?Wasn't he gay?

[Skippord]

Maria So hot want to touch the hiney arooooooo

[G-wrath]

lol didn't Vince get kicked on the other side of the face?

[owenbrown]

Yeah, Coach doesn't have a voice for being a ring announcer.

Then why is(or was when I went last time) he ring announcer for House Shows?:shifty: :roll:

[Batsu]

Mr. Reverse Hassan has entered the building.

[ClockShot]

ARRRRRRRRRRRRMANDO ALEJANDRO ESTRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAADAAAAAAAAAA!

[St. Jimmy]

Jamal vs. HBK?

BoOoOoOoOoRiNg.=D

[The Greater Power]

lol didn't Vince get kicked on the other side of the face?

nah, I'm pretty sure it was the right side.

[loopydate]

Yes, what better way to punish HBK than by putting him in a match with Kamal-- Saba Si-- Uma-- Af-- Rik-- Oh, wait, I had it the third time.

What was I saying again?

[G-wrath]

HAHAHAHAHA he's on his knees.... we all know what's coming

:shifty:

[St. Jimmy]

LOL @ the Conversion!

[The Greater Power]

McMahon is going to start a stable with this....

Vince
Shane
Shelton
Cena (later down the road)

[St. Jimmy]

LMAO @ SHELTON.

[ClockShot]

LOL!

[The Optimist]

LoL at the picture of Shawn kissing Vince's ass traveling to every stadium with him, and Estrada.

[Azriel]

That was kinda gay. :lol:

[SuperSlim]

hmmm... that was weird lookin

[Batsu]

Shelton, LOL!!!

LMFAO @ Joey Styles saying the name Armando Alejandro Estrrrrrrrrrrada

[St. Jimmy]

LOL i just got it. Umaga is a jab at Joe! BRILLIANT =/

[loopydate]

"The Samoan Wrecking Machine?"

OOM'S GONNA KILL YOU!

[AJHayes]

Gotta say, for as little as I like Jamaal... I mean Umaga.. in this current gimmick, his music is kinda cool.

[Azriel]

Hmm, not much faith in this match. Not at all

[Savio]

No Umaga thats not for eating.

[The Greater Power]

LOL the ending to Estrada's promo on Unlimted was so random.

"OOOOOOOOOh magaaaaaa"

[SuperSlim]

this match is gonna blow

[Contempt]

So is this handicap match suppose to turn HHH into a face?

[St. Jimmy]

Commentary with just King/Styles = <3

[SuperSlim]

Hope HHH doesn't turn face yet

[RawRocks]

someone please save this show from rotting to the stopped up toilet!

[The Greater Power]

It would be sweet if "God" at Backlash was Road Dogg

[Skippord]

SUPERKICK HIM

[The Optimist]

Cause God backwards is Dog hahahahahahah
I'm gonna kill myself

[ClockShot]

Ok we're one hour in and so far:

We witness the birth of McMahonism
The return of Charlie Haas
Kane win in a squash.
Chavo's Interview

Could have been better

[St. Jimmy]

GODDAMNIT COACH =/

[Azriel]

So, are we going t see both the title and the contract on the line at Backlash?

[ClockShot]

Watch vince ring the bell.

[G-wrath]

So what's the sign from God?

[SuperSlim]

man the only thing runnin for this show so far is Charlie, than and the brief appearance of Maria

[loopydate]

Umaga without the facepaint would be a dead ringer for Fatu circa 1994. I know they're cousins or something, but DAMN the resemblance is uncanny.

[ClockShot]

Ha. "Orton got Screwed" sign in the back.

[RawRocks]

why do i sense DX forming back at Backlash?

[The Optimist]

So this whole match was completly useless.

What is Vince gonna do?

[G-wrath]

Here comes the run in from God...

[The Optimist]

WTF man this is dumb Shawn is even in crucifix position

[St. Jimmy]

LMAO... WTF was that?

[Batsu]

LMAO, they did it....

[G-wrath]

God has pyro? Who would of thunk it?

[Skippord]

God just interfered

[SuperSlim]

divine intervention :roll:

[ClockShot]

Whoa. Good call G-wrath.

[UmbrellaCorporation]

WHOAMG IT'S GOD

[G-wrath]

lol...HBK looks like Jesus now....how ironic

[Batsu]

KANE....

[Skippord]

MORDECAI

[Azriel]

Well, that was creepy

[St. Jimmy]

*rolls eyes* the athiest in me is offended,
and the wrestling fan in me is laughing at "Crucified HBK"

[Savio]

Vince: WTF!

Techie: Sorry :(

[CYCLOPTERSAURUS]

Oh man, that was stuipd.

[Vazz]

So corny. :lol:

[Savio]

why do i sense DX forming back at Backlash?With HBK and God?

[Face Heely]

Yeah...that'd be much more effective if ridiculous pyrotechnics weren't already an obvious and integral part of every WWE show.

[zdmay]

That was kinda cool.

[PullMyFinger]

Welcome to early/mid 90s WWF! Cartoonism at its best, and your intelligence is insulted like no tomorrow!

I'm sorry when I saw that, I just rolled my eyes, changed the channel..and thought, "how pathetic." I hope WWE just drops this angle. This is going on the list of worst angles in WWE history...worse than Katie Vick.

[Azriel]

Hmm, no Unlimited segment?

[ClockShot]

You think Vince would make the PPV interesting and make his match and Inferno Match.

[Azriel]

I'm sure though the payoff will be worth it

[G-wrath]

I miss the Rock. :'(

[SuperSlim]

priceless segment

[Azriel]

Stone Cold funeral segment. Good times

[Batsu]

Ah yes, when The Rock kicked the most ass.

[rob11]

Memories, to when Raw was good.

[Face Heely]

So, it's a bit late, but I wanna take a moment to say that Jamal-ga actually has a really good sense for the "monster heel" role...but not quite the body for it. (Shawn's not even one of the big guys, and Umaga didn't look much bigger.)

[Batsu]

YES! Striker on Raw!

[Azriel]

Stryker on RAW!! Shocking!

[St. Jimmy]

lool

[G-wrath]

Haha $40K luxury car... its an old people car!

[zdmay]

The Rock vs. Stone Cold, WWF at it's very best.

[Skippord]

Striker :love:

[The Optimist]

Thanks for the explanation of your origin, Striker_dumb


Wait did he just say Bueler nevermind I love him now

Wait Education isnt cool LOL he stole Carlito's apple

[Face Heely]

Wow...I have a sweater just like that...

[Azriel]

There's some sad truth to that you know

[ClockShot]

Carlito.

[Batsu]

LOL! Carlito!

[St. Jimmy]

carlito/striker segment. <3<3<3

[ClockShot]

So it's gonna be a "Who's Cool" segment.

[G-wrath]

Carlito: You stole my apple! Das not cool!

[Azriel]

Uh oh. Here comes the master of coolness

[rob11]

This is cool!

[G-wrath]

Hah! I told you!

[The Greater Power]

Masters is under the table

[Face Heely]

CARLITOOOOO!

[Skippord]

Carlito is my Jesus

[G-wrath]

lmao 'anal what?'

I love Carlito.

[Skippord]

LOL Anal What

[The Greater Power]

lol "anal what?"

[G-wrath]

Carlito is my Jesus

lol remember Jesus?

[UmbrellaCorporation]

Hahahahaha, best line of the night