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Champion of Europa
10-26-2006, 06:21 PM
source: stormwrestling.com

TNA Needs Mr. Spock

October 27, 2006

I’m going to go on a bit of a rant today because I’m about to lose my mind and I need to vent. Before I get into this I want to point out that I very much want TNA to succeed, I am a huge supporter and fan of most of the guys who work there. None of the comments that follow are meant to belittle their talent or work ethic. I think TNA has so many talented people, which I think is the root of my frustration and anger. There is so much potential and talent in this company yet every time I watch Impact, read a PPV report, or what have you, I find myself more frustrated and bewildered than entertained.

This is why this week’s commentary is titles TNA needs Mr. Spock. I have no idea if Leonard Nimoy likes wrestling, or even knows jack shit about it but I’m beginning to think he could do a better job of booking this show, than those currently doing so because at least Spock would bring logic to the table when booking. I know booking a weekly show and trying to drive monthly PPV buys isn’t easy but there is so much stuff going on that makes no sense what so ever.

FOR EXAMPLE:

The Booby Roode hottest free agent gimmick after disbanding Team Canada was a good idea, but thus far has made no sense what so ever. Let me start by saying I’m a big fan of Roode’s work. He was one of the first guys I noticed when I first started watching TNA on Spike. Team Canada gets disbanded and Bobby Roode is labeled the hottest free agent in TNA. Great. He then starts interviewing managers because everyone wants to represent him. Again, great. This creates a nice pop for TV getting to see the great managers from the past and shows that the Industry is hot for Bobby Roode. Then at last months PPV they proceed to book him in the Pre-Show (Dark) Match. If Roode is a hot commodity why can’t he get booked on the PPV? If you don’t have a place for him on the PPV, LEAVE HIM THE HELL OFF THE SHOW! At least if he’s left off fans can surmise that he is so busy interviewing managers that he is not taking bookings until he has confirmed his representation. Booking him in the pre-show makes him look like an under card guy!

Now the best part: After interviewing almost every great manager in the history of the business he hires Traci. What a let down. Again this is not to slight her but how she has been portrayed thus far on TV. The last I recall seeing Traci she was the girl who went to the ring with Matt Bentley and bounced. Her claim to fame was that she bounced her boobies, and she managed a guy who for the most part lost mid-card matches. If this isn’t bad enough he announces that he’s signed with his new manager and will debut her on the PPV and guess what. They aren’t on the PPV they are again on the pre-show. I guess that’s what happens when you sign with the girl who bounces. He got to choose any manger he wanted and he signed with one who could not get him booked on PPV. If that isn’t bad enough EVERY SINGLE other ‘wrestling’ member of Team Canada got booked on the PPV, including the one who got fired 2 weeks previous. That’s right the guy who lost a loser gets fired match, and was fired from the company got booked on PPV over the “Hottest Free Agent in Wrestling”. That is one sweet manager he’s got there!!!

Speaking of Eric Young, last weeks Impact drove me nuts. Eric lost a Loser get fired match, and appears on the show 1 or 2 weeks later (I cant’ remember if it was 1 or 2 weeks). I know he was just wandering around outside but still; HE’S ON THE F’N SHOW. I just finished reading The Death of WCW, and one of the things that killed WCW was booking over stipulated matches and the continued non-honouring of those stipulations. Why are fans going to give a shit about stipulation matches if they are NEVER honoured? To make matters worse, if that is in fact possible, while poor Eric is in the parking lot, JB informs him that he is booked on the PPV against Larry Zybisco. Young is of course shocked by this news because apparently TNA books guys who don’t work for the company (remember HE WAS FIRED!) in PPV matches without even contacting them to inform them of their interest in booking them again. This was 3 days before the PPV and NO ONE from TNA called Eric Young to tell him they booked him for the PPV. What would TNA have done if Eric hadn’t “inadvertently” found out he had a PPV match?

I also just finished reading a spoiler from the latest Impact TV Tapings and I cant’ make any sense what so ever of what I read. Apparently they are doing a #1 Contenders tournament to see who gets the next title shot at Sting. Isn’t this what win lose records are for? Isn’t there a Championship committee or at least someone in TNA Management (we hear so damn much about them) who ranks people in the company? You have Joe who is Unpinned and Unsubmitted, not to mention he’s been running around with the title belt for a few weeks. You have Christian who again is Unpinned, Unsubmitted and was never really beat for the title when he last held it. There is also “Arguably the greatest wrestler alive today” Kurt Angle in the company, not to mention the former champion who should be deserving of a rematch. With all these worthy contenders at their disposal TNA management couldn’t narrow it down closer than 18 people and had to have the most non-sensical match I’ve ever heard of, to set up a tournament.

The match is a reverse Battle Royal, where guys have to try to get into the ring. Once 7 guys manage that it’s now a regular Battle Royal and those 7 have to throw each other out. (The order determines the bracketing) When you get down to the last 2 they have a regular match and the winner gets a bye in the tournament. Can someone explain to me why they thought it necessary for someone to get a bye in the tournament and thus make this match even more confusing? Don’t answer that, it was rhetorical. If this isn’t good enough neither Kurt Angle or Joe were in the match and thus for some reason not considered top 18 talent in TNA (keep in mind that Frankie Kazarian and Lance Hoyt are in the match so they must be ranked higher than Joe or Angle).

I could go on but I think you get my point. Creative direction in TNA is atrocious, and while I admit booking isn’t an easy job it isn’t rocket science either. To make matters worse they actually have a guy in the company who has a strong track record in booking solid wrestling television. TNA employs Jim Cornette, who booked OVW, SMW, and contributed creatively in WCW for a number of years (the years that tended to make the most sense I might add). I am not even a full-blown Cornette supporter. We had creative disagreements while we worked together in OVW and I also disagreed with some of what he did in SMW when I worked for him. Jim Cornette is, in my opinion, a little old school and not overly innovative, but his shows make sense, you never have to ask WHY, and matches and titles feel important. That is what wrestling is all about. Give me some wrestlers I can care about, make me believe they don’t like each other, and then book them in a match so I can see them fight. When you want someone to build you a cart that rolls, you don’t always need someone with ground breaking innovative ideas, you need someone smart enough to put 4 F’N wheels on the damn thing so it rolls.

That’s my rant for this week,
Lance Storm

Skippord
10-26-2006, 06:28 PM
:heart:

Stickman
10-26-2006, 06:30 PM
He's right.

Disturbed316
10-26-2006, 06:33 PM
I :heart: Lance

Destor
10-26-2006, 06:34 PM
When you want someone to build you a cart that rolls, you don’t always need someone with ground breaking innovative ideas, you need someone smart enough to put 4 F’N wheels on the damn thing so it rolls.

LOL at that. That whole thing was spot on. These Lance Storm rants get better every time. Lance is the man.

KingofOldSchool
10-26-2006, 06:39 PM
I actually enjoyed this one.

ron the dial
10-26-2006, 06:39 PM
Spot on, Lance Storm.

Caged Heat18
10-26-2006, 06:50 PM
He made a lot of good points, that are very true.

Londoner
10-26-2006, 07:10 PM
I agree with everything he said but why didn't he mention the stupid decision they made about having Sabin losing the title straight after winning it???

Destor
10-26-2006, 07:11 PM
I agree with everything he said but why didn't he mention the stupid decision they made about having Sabin losing the title straight after winning it???It's hard to call something stupid when you have no idea where they are going with it...

Londoner
10-26-2006, 07:16 PM
It's not that hard to call it stupid when you know Vince Russo is booking it. ;)

Destor
10-26-2006, 07:16 PM
:lol: Fair point...

Juan
10-26-2006, 07:29 PM
It's real, it's damn real.

St. Jimmy
10-26-2006, 07:42 PM
Meh, ripping on TNA booking is kinda like making fun of retarded kids.

Dorkchop
10-26-2006, 07:44 PM
I love Lance Storm. I find I usually always agree with his opinions.

I also love how he's updating his site every couple of days now.

RGWhat316
10-26-2006, 08:52 PM
I was never that big a fan of Lance Storm, but that was a really good read, and he points out why I don't watch TNA. If I tried to turn it on this week to watch a reverse battle royal to eventually win a title shot, I would be confused.

I never watched WCW either, but I know how bad it was. So it seems to me that TNA is trying to book as bad as WCW did. And some of my other wrestling friends all rave about TNA, ha.

Mr. JL
10-26-2006, 09:02 PM
I'm actually going to watch Impact tonight. I ordered Bound For Glory and it was good, but mostly I'm tuning in for Impact to see how TNA will screw up the momentum. After reading some ofthe things Lance said, I'm pretty sure I am going to laugh at the show and never turn it on again.

Blitz
10-26-2006, 09:13 PM
Godddddd, I :heart: Lance.

Londoner
10-26-2006, 09:14 PM
It's kinda sad really, if TNA had better writers they would be doing far better than they're now. It's one thing to get momentum, it's quite another to actually be able to build on it.

Kane Knight
10-26-2006, 09:16 PM
If it's in TNA, the IWC loves it.

If Lance Storm says it, the IWC loves it.

Right now, we must be experiencing some state of quantum uncertainty, as everyone scrambles to fellayte both. :D

Destor
10-26-2006, 09:17 PM
I could've sworn the majority of this site hated TNA...

Mr. Aristocrat
10-26-2006, 09:17 PM
It's good to know that the things it takes us 3 or 4 threads worth of bitching to get out, he sums up in a few paragraphs. Spot on Lance. Spot on.

Mr. Aristocrat
10-26-2006, 09:25 PM
If it's in TNA, the IWC loves it.

If Lance Storm says it, the IWC loves it.

Right now, we must be experiencing some state of quantum uncertainty, as everyone scrambles to fellayte both. :D

I've broken it down as (for TPWW anyway)...

10% TNA Marks...they know it has problems but they are gonna stick with it.
25% claiming to be RoH marks...2% have ever seen a single show.
95% hate RAW and SmackDown...though still watch it.
and when it comes to the new ECW it's split 50/50...it's either the best thing going or not worth watching.

Now I agree the IWC on the whole loves sucking down a big juicy TNA cock, but around these parts it seems most either have better taste or pretend to have better taste. And for the record, I only pretend. :shifty:

Kane Knight
10-26-2006, 09:33 PM
I think you're right. I get a lot of TNA mentions in IMS from folks on this site.

Honestly, I haven't watched TNA in months.

Then again, I actually stop watching Raw and Smackdown when they bore me.

Skippord
10-26-2006, 09:35 PM
I've broken it down as (for TPWW anyway)...

10% TNA Marks...they know it has problems but they are gonna stick with it.
25% claiming to be RoH marks...2% have ever seen a single show.
95% hate RAW and SmackDown...though still watch it.
and when it comes to the new ECW it's split 50/50...it's either the best thing going or not worth watching.

Now I agree the IWC on the whole loves sucking down a big juicy TNA cock, but around these parts it seems most either have better taste or pretend to have better taste. And for the record, I only pretend. :shifty:
I would fall under the 10%

Mr. Aristocrat
10-26-2006, 09:37 PM
I know you do Skippy, I know you do. :)

Londoner
10-26-2006, 09:37 PM
I could've sworn the majority of this site hated TNA...


Recently, i've noticed people on this site starting to give TNA a chance, me included. I'm probably going to give it a bit more of a chance cause I want to see an alternative to WWE, but they really need to make more sense with their booking if that is to happen. This is one area they could get one up on WWE if they tried. All we are crying out for is for some fucking logic being used in booking wrestling shows, ya know? If logic was used, ratings wouldn't be so low.

Mr. Aristocrat
10-26-2006, 09:41 PM
I would settle for any promotion with a national TV deal, under any leadership, using logic in their booking. That is all I want. ECW is as close as it gets, but let's face facts, we have Hardcore Holly as a face...and that's not even the least of their booking problems.

HeartBreakMan2k
10-26-2006, 09:53 PM
I love Lance. Haven't watched TNA in ages... haven't watched Raw in longer than that, haven't watched Smackdown in two months, and only watch the Hardcore Hangovers for ECW. MMA is where it's at.

owenbrown
10-26-2006, 10:55 PM
Lance Storm is the MAN!! :love:

Kane Knight
10-26-2006, 11:31 PM
By the way, anyone else love that the guy who had so many "no personality" gimmicks is using Spock as reference?

"Captain, if I could be serious for a minute..."

Mr. JL
10-26-2006, 11:48 PM
I'm actually going to watch Impact tonight. I ordered Bound For Glory and it was good, but mostly I'm tuning in for Impact to see how TNA will screw up the momentum. After reading some ofthe things Lance said, I'm pretty sure I am going to laugh at the show and never turn it on again.
LOL, I forgot all about Impact. I can still catch the last 7 minutes:-\

Skippord
10-26-2006, 11:54 PM
That tournement is so freaking confusing

Dave Youell
10-27-2006, 04:32 AM
To be honest, I don't watch TNA for it's stunning detailed storylines, personally it's the workers and the matches that pull me in. And that IMO is the main thing it's got going for it, they put on better matches weekly than WWE does

6to1
10-27-2006, 08:38 AM
i thought the battle to get in the ring was interesting, why joe was not in it joe is starting a fued with angle. of the 7 people in it looks like it will be witch jobber gets to lose to sting. i blame russo for the new bad writeing if they want to make jeff a face keep him off the tv 5 or 6 months.

Avenger
10-27-2006, 08:51 AM
Meh that wasn't one of Storm's better rants. He was really grasping at straws with the Eric Young thing and while I agree TNA's booking is atrocious sometimes I also am just happy to watch some wrestling for a change.

Pepsi Man
10-27-2006, 09:23 AM
haha, Lance Storm is the man. If we didn't have the internet, he would be a great magazine writer.

Avenger
10-27-2006, 09:33 AM
wtf

Avenger
10-27-2006, 09:33 AM
i mean talk about stating the OBV

RP
10-27-2006, 09:50 AM
I agree, but Lance should grow some balls and write a column like that, about WWE. I think they're far and away worse.

TerranRich
10-27-2006, 10:43 AM
So Lance read "The Death of WCW' and therefore knows why WCW failed? Wasn't he THERE?? :p

But yeah, :love:

Kane Knight
10-27-2006, 09:38 PM
So Lance read "The Death of WCW' and therefore knows why WCW failed? Wasn't he THERE?? :p

But yeah, :love:

Uhhh...No. You see, that was a Storm Robot. You can tell the difference by the total lack of charisma...

Kane Knight
10-27-2006, 09:39 PM
I agree, but Lance should grow some balls and write a column like that, about WWE. I think they're far and away worse.

I think TNA's worse, honestly. I think WWE's pretty awful, but they haven't gotten shitty enough that I don't watch their programming...

I skip ECW, watch about half of Raw and Smackdown, but I never watch Impact anymore.

YOUR Hero
10-29-2006, 04:35 PM
Lance Storm, the man they built up in WCW as an unbeatable man, winning all sorts of titles, only to have Nash come out and squash him so Nash could cut some lame promo. Hope that's in the book Lance read.

Well written article by Lance. A no brainer, but very well summed up.

Kane Knight
10-29-2006, 06:04 PM
How many people would piece together Star Trek and TNA?

Oh, wait...Jarrett.

Corkscrewed
10-30-2006, 10:50 AM
Good shit. :lol: Poor Lance prolly won't be able to watch any wrestling tho.