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View Full Version : K-fed shocked to find out wrestling isn't real

Jaton
10-30-2006, 08:16 AM
Hilarious joke article. READ IT

http://datelinehollywood.com/archives/2006/10/30/federline-shocked-to-discover-wwe-is-not-real/
Gulak
10-30-2006, 08:46 AM
Hollywood — According to sources close to Britney Spears’ rapper-husband, Kevin Federline was shocked to discover in his recent appearance on “WWE Monday Night Raw” that professional wrestling is not real. “Kevin was crushed to find out that his heroes like John Cena and Johnny Nitro are frauds,” a friend told Dateline Hollywood. “Somebody probably should have warned him before he went on the show.”

K-Fed taped two appearances on the USA program to promote his new album, “Playing with Fire.” He reportedly jumped at the suggestion by his label that he appear on the show, noting that he has been a wrestling fan since his childhood in the 1980s, when he used to root for Hulk Hogan against Sergeant Slaughter.

But several sources at the taping said that things went horribly wrong when Federline jumped into the ring to face John Cena, there to promote his new movie “The Marine.”

“We told Kevin everything that was going to happen, but then when he got in the ring, Cena kept almost hitting him, but K-Fed wasn’t moving,” said the source. “Even when John pulled his patented F-U slam, Kevin only staggered back a few steps like Cena had brushed him.”

Federline then reportedly began loudly complaining that Cena wasn’t actually hitting him and wondered when the “real match” was going to begin. After Cena explained that professional wresting is staged and doesn’t involve real hits, sources say that Federline seemed unable to speak, as a look of realization slowly appeared on his face and his eyes welled up with tears. The 28 year-old “rapper” then ran out of the ring and locked himself in his dressing room, from which loud sobs could be heard by the entire crew.

He briefly opened his door to ask, amidst wheezing breaths and sobs, whether “you guys just started faking or all the wrestlers have been fakers, even the Hulkster?” When a producer informed Federline that all WWE matchs have been staged since the league began as the WWF in 1979, the rapper yelled “I don’t want to talk to any of you lying fakers anymore!” and slammed his door.

Producers were unable to coax Federline out of his dressing room for over three hours, costing the USA Network more than $300,000 in production fees. He only emerged when his wife, Britney Spears, arrived. She convinced her husband to open the door after telling him she had brought a “special guest,” Hulk Hogan himself.

Hogan reportedly convinced Federline to leave his dressing room and finish the taping by telling him that wresting had in fact been real during the 1980s, but executives lied to the current generation of wrestlers in order to spare their feelings. “We don’t want these pussies today to know how much weaker they are than me and my buddies like Rowdy Roddy Piper who were around when you were a kid,” Hogan said according to a source close to Spears, who was present for the conversation. The Hulkster then presented K-Fed with an autographed tank top that he ripped off his body in front of the young rapper.

Spears reportedly apologized to a producer as her husband completed the taping, noting that, “Kevin got the same way when we met Arnold Schwarzenegger and he asked the governor what it was like to be a cyborg from the future.”
Corkscrewed
10-30-2006, 09:51 AM
ROFLMAO
Kane Knight
10-30-2006, 09:55 AM
Pretty good stuff. :D
FourFifty
10-30-2006, 11:48 AM
That's pure gold right there. :lol:
Blue Demon
10-30-2006, 01:44 PM
:D
The Ravishing One
10-30-2006, 02:05 PM
LOL
RGWhat316
10-30-2006, 03:06 PM
LOL, that is great. Of course Hogan would think his generation was real.
Extreme Angle
10-30-2006, 03:18 PM
:rofl:
Stickman
10-30-2006, 03:31 PM
Thats money
owenbrown
10-30-2006, 03:34 PM
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
weather vane
10-30-2006, 03:53 PM
lol
Funky Fly
10-30-2006, 04:27 PM
ROFL
Lock Jaw
10-30-2006, 05:28 PM
IT'S STILL REAL TO ME, DAMMIT!!

[/obligatory reply]
DominateR
10-30-2006, 06:42 PM
somebody LIED to K-FED? It wouldn't be the first time so why is he so shocked? His "wife" does it all the time I'm sure...
AdrianM
10-31-2006, 03:12 AM
IT'S STILL REAL TO ME DAMMIT!

can't believe more people haven't said that already
Hitman84
10-31-2006, 11:41 AM
If I may add to the count ...

IT'S STILL REAL TO ME, DAMMIT!!

That is all.
Shadow
10-31-2006, 02:12 PM
somebody LIED to K-FED? It wouldn't be the first time so why is he so shocked? His "wife" does it all the time I'm sure...

Oh yeah...it's yours baby. You know you're the only man I'd ever let touch me.
Destor
10-31-2006, 02:14 PM
somebody LIED to K-FED? It wouldn't be the first time so why is he so shocked? His "wife" does it all the time I'm sure...I don't know why the tabloids say you're an useless douchebag honey...
Kane Knight
10-31-2006, 04:49 PM
IT'S STILL REAL TO ME DAMMIT!

can't believe more people haven't said that already

It wad said once, isn't that enough?
M-A-G
10-31-2006, 04:56 PM
It wad said once, isn't that enough?

Of course not!!!

IT'S STILL REAL TO ME, DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!111111
Kane Knight
10-31-2006, 05:18 PM
IT'S STILL FUNNY TO ME, DAMMIT!!!!!!!