Official RAW Thread (1/15/2007): One Down, One to Go?

[St. Jimmy]

http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/Headers/3968802
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/touts/feature/29062/3963036


Preview:Big news
January 15, 2007

WWE Champion John Cena may be in big trouble as Raw heads to Shreveport, La.

Giant announcement
Jonathan Coachman made a huge announcement last week on Raw, bringing the 7-foot-3 Great Khali to the Raw roster. In his first match as a Raw Superstar, Khali faced WWE Champion John Cena in a non-title match, but in the end Umaga entered the arena and left Cena beaten and suffering in the ring. When will the heated rivalry between these two powerful Superstars find resolution?

Revenge served Raw
After a grueling match between DX and Rated-RKO at New Year’s Revolution, Triple H suffered a ruptured quadriceps tendon. With The Game on the mend, Shawn Michaels will face rivals Rated-RKO on his own in a 2-on-1 Handicap Match when Raw reaches the CenturyTel Center in Shreveport, LA. Will HBK have what it takes to defeat the World Tag Team Champions on his own, or will Rated-RKO completely destroy DX?

Flair for playing dirty
The “Nature Boy” gave the cocky Kenny Dykstra a taste of his own medicine, nailing him with a low blow to help Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy retain his gold. The confident and driven Kenny seemed furious, and WWE fans can only speculate as to what Dykstra may be planning for Ric Flair.

Aint the ladies to mess with
Women’s Champion Mickie James will defend her title against the ruthless Victoria. Victoria recently broke Candice’s nose in a match up, will Mickie suffer the same fate?

Find out all this and more on Raw, Monday night at 9/8 CT on USA Network.

_________________________________________________________________

Expecting this to be a good show after TNA dropped the ball last night.

Hopefully this is the start of something good.

[ClockShot]

They better have one hell of a show to make up for last week.

[Schoenauer]

I bet we won't see any RR build up.

[Jeritron]

They better have one hell of a show to make up for last year.

[Volare]

I decided im gonna get drunk and watch this....it just might make it slightly better

[Azriel]

I'll be watching 24, but I'll switch on to RAW at the 10 o clock hour

[ClockShot]

And here we go.

Long live the dream.

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>Fucking hell, does Cena need to kick off every show?</font>

[SuperSlim]

Raw sucks already

[KingofOldSchool]

I have a dream that all storylines are equally shitty.

Speaking of shitty here is Cena.

[KingofOldSchool]

Last Wigger Standing

[St. Jimmy]

Umaga is going to win at the rumble if it's Last Man Standing.

[ClockShot]

Golden globes or 24 are on if people are looking to substitute.

[ClockShot]

Anything under the table this time?

[The Optimist]

What the fuck.


Just think about this rationale.


The champion beats the challenger, the challenger immediately gets the night off, the next week the challenger is named the number one contender. . .then his manager gets to choose the match that they will compete in.


Are they doing this on purpose or is this just stupid as shit by chance?

[KingofOldSchool]

Umaga is going to win at the rumble if it's Last Man Standing.

Umaga hits Cena 24 times with a chair and Cena still gets up.

Cena nails Umaga with one FU and Umaga can't get up.

[SuperSlim]

so will Umaga go through the table? Cena? Coach? Or armando?

[St. Jimmy]

Yes John, we know you're not scared of anyone. Shut the fuck up.

[SuperSlim]

will there ever be one contract signing when the table won't break?

[The Optimist]

This is epicly gay.



I'd rather have a match with Khali.


That's how epicly gay it is.

[St. Jimmy]

Cena losing in Last Man Standing won't be a clean win over him, so there's no reason not to switch the strap since he won't look weak.

[Skippord]

AWESOME(BULLET IN BRAIN)

[Volare]

Didn't see the FU comin....Seein that table..I miss the dudleyz

[KingofOldSchool]

This is epicly gay.



I'd rather have a match with Khali.


That's how epicly gay it is.

Who are you to doubt The Great Khali?

[The Optimist]

Umaga hits Cena 24 times with an ass and Cena still gets up.

Cena nails Umaga with one fist and Umaga can't get up.

[Skippord]

WHY UMAGA FUCK SHIT GOD

Edge? Orton? Nitro?

No Umaga Jesus

[SuperSlim]

tables always break in contract signings. but why couldn't Cena go through the table?

[The Optimist]

WHY UMAGA FUCK SHIT GOD

Edge? Orton? Nitro?

No Umaga Jesus
My thoughts exactly.

[Volare]

tables always break in contract signings. but why couldn't Cena go through the table?


And not to be mean...but have him injured enough to forfeit the title

[SuperSlim]

He's Superman... he'd no sell it, get up and FU Umaga

[St. Jimmy]

LOL, Maria.

[The Optimist]

Who are you to doubt The Great Khali?http://scoop.diamondgalleries.com/news_images/5747_15079_1.jpg

[ClockShot]

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

[Djscorpion]

RKO needs to be broken up tonight ....

[SuperSlim]

why is Maria in the ring again?

[The Optimist]

What the fuck. Where is this fued going after this? Why won't they let it die the epic death that it should have at New Year's Whatever.

Seriously, what the fuck comes after a Cage match in an IC title fued?

[The Optimist]

Does anyone know where the phrase "Super Hot Female" comes from? It sounds familiar.

[SuperSlim]

What the fuck. Where is this fued going after this? Why won't they let it die the epic death that it should have at New Year's Whatever.

Seriously, what the fuck comes after a Cage match in an IC title fued?

Hell in a Cell

[DCXtreme]

Maria needs to go into porn

[ClockShot]

That went by quick.

[The Optimist]

So yeah. Hardy beats Nitro again. This fued was very entertaining in my opinion, but let it end.

[The Optimist]

Has there ever been a HIAC for the mid-card title? And why the fuck wouldn't they have just done that instead of the cage match?

[KingofOldSchool]

YAY Donald

[6to1]

more trump time for the tna chant

[DCXtreme]

Wel there was a KENNEL FROM HELLLLL match between al snow and bossman

[SuperSlim]

you dare think for one second that WWE uses logic? What is wrong with you?

[The Optimist]

Not for the mid-card title. Plus I think everyone holds true that HIAK was an abberration. THere were dogs shitting everywhere for god's sake.

[The Optimist]

I'm not saying they should use logic, I'm saying they stick to what they've already done before.

[Volare]

So what's the next crappy match?

[KingofOldSchool]

The Great Khali vs. Eugene

[SuperSlim]

hmmmm... they are blowin this match this early? nahhhh

[The Optimist]

The Great Khali vs. EugeneWrestlemania 2010

[Skippord]

What the hell is Orton trying to be Edge junior

[KingofOldSchool]

TAZZ

[ClockShot]

Tazz?

[The Optimist]

Gaaaaaay vests.

[Savio]

TAZZ!

[Savio]

TAZZ AGAIN!

[The Optimist]

Wow. This is cheap heat at it's shittiest.

[ClockShot]

This is pretty good.

[SuperSlim]

Orton in a vest is gay

[KingofOldSchool]

$50 says Cryme Tyme helps HBK tonight

[The Optimist]

Oh shit. I just realized. If RKO does break-up tonight we could have an old fashioned Tag Team Title Tournament on our hands.

[ClockShot]

Watch Flair come back out almost dead.

[KingofOldSchool]

Rated RKO won't break up tonight.

[The Optimist]

Man. They could do almost the exact same thing as the WCW Tag Team Title Tournament in. . .what 98? 99?

[TerranRich]

They look like car mechanics except their jumpsuits were torn to vests. And much more gayer, yes.

[SuperSlim]

hmmm Cryme Tyme helping HBK win... sounds like a winner.

[Djscorpion]

WTF at Orton leaving...

[TerranRich]

HOOOOOO??

[Djscorpion]

nvm

[KingofOldSchool]

LOL Hacksaw??

[SuperSlim]

ah come on... it's Duggan... who gives two shits about him?

[Savio]

They killed dugun

[TerranRich]

Why aren't they calling themselves the Legend Killers as a part of this? Beating up Flair, beating up Hacksaw.

[The Optimist]

Well. Whenever. If they still have the titles on them whenever they break up, which I'm sure is very possible. Wow. Duggan will be in DX? With Flair? and Dusty Rhodes?

[Skippord]

I love Edge in a gay way

[ClockShot]

I was close.

[TerranRich]

Oh my God! You killed Duggan! YOU BASTARD!

[St. Jimmy]

Awesome.

[Savio]

orton needs some pants to look cool/strait.

[TerranRich]

Yeah, Orton can hold all those guys back. Okay.

[SuperSlim]

*YAWWWWWWWNNNNNNN*

[St. Jimmy]

lol. there's always that one mark that's shocked.

[KingofOldSchool]

Dean Malenko is going to be HBK's partner.

[TerranRich]

Hacksaw just OD'ed on Twizzlers.

[SuperSlim]

Orton needs pants

[The Optimist]

They're refs, they're obviously blind and as weak physically and mentally as four year olds.

[Volare]

Other than the retarded beatin up duggan....Godd promo IMO

[TerranRich]

This GameFly commercial is awesome, with the mask and the replica WCW World Title. Like a nerdier Rey Mysterio.

[Djscorpion]

So are we going to see someone unexpectable to help out HBK?

[ClockShot]

BEST. COMMERCIAL. EVER!

[TerranRich]

MMMMMM, LIKE, BRRAAAIIIINNNNSSS, HEE HEE!

THey look like zombies

[KingofOldSchool]

So RVD won't be in the ECW Title match at the RR.

Wow so far we've got Cena/Umaga and Lashley/Test.

[KingofOldSchool]

Oh and Batista/Kennedy.

Yawn.

[Jeritron]

So are we going to see someone unexpectable to help out HBK?

Well I'd like to see something eventful take place. But knowing how things are they're probably just going to tease us all night and then have them beat him down and nothing happen.

[Skippord]

GO KENNY

[KingofOldSchool]

Or maybe Marty Jannetty will come back for another 3-day employment.

[ClockShot]

Flair/Kenny. This round 4 or 5?

[The Optimist]

Isn't this like the third time they've fought on Raw? They need to do a three-way with Carlito to make me give anymore shits.

[Jeritron]

Flair hit the top rope move!!!

[KingofOldSchool]

FLAIR WINS FLAIR WINS FLAIR WINS

[KingofOldSchool]

WOO!

WOOOOOO!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[The Optimist]

Or maybe Marty Jannetty will come back for another 3-day employment.
I've already theorised that.


By the way. "Taken to school" what the fuck? I think Kenny has more wins in this series than Flair.

[Djscorpion]

maybe its...............HULK HOGAN! lol

[SuperSlim]

that match moved in slow motion.

[The Optimist]

Flair hit the top rope move!!!
The only other time he's done that is against Carlito, that's why this makes me reminisce so much.

[Djscorpion]

who will help HBK ...

[Jura]

http://jasonjackson.blogspot.com/uploaded_images/little%20richard-747351.jpg
Little Richard: Wooooooooooooo

[SuperSlim]

the huge secret is gonna blow... just read it. The TNA Abyss thing

[The Optimist]

So, a clone of Trips is going to pull off a run-in.

[KingofOldSchool]

Flair's turning.

[RP]

(((( SPOILER ))))


Its Eddie Guerrero.

[SuperSlim]

IT's going to be Cena

[KingofOldSchool]

Shit Donald Trump so take over the WWE.

[TerranRich]

Wow, Donald Trump speaks for ALL OF US. If that letter is legit and real, I LOVE DONALD TRUMP.

[KingofOldSchool]

Uh Oh

[SuperSlim]

I'm almost gettin tired of Will Ferrell movies

[KingofOldSchool]

That Napolean Dynamite kid makes me not want to see that movie.

[TerranRich]

I guess Vince really is using his product's crappiness as an angle to make it unexpectedly better. Weird. I guess Vince really has lost his damn MIND!!!

[Skippord]

lol Will Ferrel is my hero

[Skippord]

Saliva :love:

[TerranRich]

WTF are you guys talking about? That movie looks awesome.

[Xero]

LOL at Vince taking a shot at the internet community.

[TerranRich]

Vince is gonna fire the audience again. Poor audience. Can't ever hold a job in WWE for very long. :(

[TerranRich]

LOL at Vince taking a shot at the internet community.
What shot was that? Think I missed it.

[Xero]

That entire letter was clearly a shot at the internet community AND I suppose some of his nay-sayers in the business.

[Skippord]

WTF are you guys talking about? That movie looks awesome.
It does

[KingofOldSchool]

Oh yay a clip package.

[TerranRich]

I love this bit of antikayfabe, though, where Vince is wondering whether he should show real wrestling instead of crap like...like this.

[Skippord]

WHY GOD WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[KingofOldSchool]

Oh god...

[ClockShot]

No. Guiness is brillant. That was crap.

[The Optimist]

Is Vince crazy or is he just playing this off stupidly?

[TerranRich]

Vince obviously recognized the TNA etc. chants.

He's really worknig to get the fans to boo, and they're NOT. WTF is the audience composed of, four-year-olds and retards??!!

[UmbrellaCorporation]

I love this bit of antikayfabe, though, where Vince is wondering whether he should show real wrestling instead of crap like...like this.


I thought the exact same thing too. :y:

[Xero]

I love this bit of antikayfabe, though, where Vince is wondering whether he should show real wrestling instead of crap like...like this.
I swear, if this really is turning into a storyline we have 100% proof that he is a member at TPWW. :shifty:

[TerranRich]

There they go, the fans finally booed. Retards.

[KingofOldSchool]

Yeah and that's why people were shitting all over that "skit."

[The Optimist]

Crazy, gotcha.

[TerranRich]

LMAO, the only thing left to prove is that Vince really does own TNA. I mean, people here have been speculating that Vince is doing all this crap on purpose for some storyline or something to prove.

Hah, Torrie.

[KingofOldSchool]

IT'S SABLE...oh Torrie Wilson

[Skippord]

SNIPER IN THE CROWD PLEASE

[Azriel]

Vince has officialy gone off the deep end

[TerranRich]

I don't know if this RAW is redeeming itself. It's getting worse IMO

[TerranRich]

Vince is wayyyy off the deep end. He's in the Mariana Trench right about now.

[KingofOldSchool]

I hope Carlito gives Vince a backcracker.

[ClockShot]

SNIPER IN THE CROWD PLEASE

Jack Bauer is busy at the moment.

[The Optimist]

Seriously, what the fuck? Is this shit-surrealism? This is like twenty minutes of him making us wonder if we're ever going to have actual wrestling.



CARLITO!!!!!
THANKYOU JEBUS!!!

[SuperSlim]

man this just reeks of awfulness but at least Carlito is out to save it

[TerranRich]

YOU KNOW WOT COOL EEZ?

Nothing beats being him.

[Skippord]

KICK HIS SHIT IN CARLITO...really please do in real life

[KingofOldSchool]

I'm going to shit if he sides with Vince.

[Batsu]

There's an offhand chance that WWE is pumping crowd heat in.

[TerranRich]

I want Carlito to call Vince out on his insanity, like right now.

[Skippord]

Carlito is my new Jesus

[KingofOldSchool]

THANK YOU CARLITO

[The Optimist]

What the fuck?

Is Carlito Jesus?

[TerranRich]

Ooh! I got a great idea.

MUTINY

That's right, the entire roster TURNS on Vince McMahon and overthrows him.

Eh? Eh? Whaddaya think???

[SuperSlim]

What is Carlito saying? He's saying what we want.

[RP]

X-PAC X-PAC X-PAC

[KingofOldSchool]

PREACH ON CARLITO

[Batsu]

Carlito just pulled a Jericho.

[Skippord]

FUCK

[Batsu]

Oh, NO...

[ClockShot]

KHALI SMASH!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The Optimist]

Khali?


Why?


FUCK this.

[KingofOldSchool]

Ugh

[TerranRich]

LMFAO!! KHALI IS HERE TO COMPLETELY KILL ALL POSSIBILITY FOR THIS SKIT BEING EVEN REMOTELY GOOD

LOL @ the irony of it all.

[SuperSlim]

and of course this had to be pulled off. karate chop of doom

[KingofOldSchool]

*snarl*

*grunt*

*chop*

Bye Carlito. :(

[TerranRich]

Ooohhhh the irony. It's like great abstract art, painted with dog shit.

[Skippord]

:'(

[The Optimist]

So this proves that Vince knows what he's doing is wrong, but that he can stop or won't stop.


I fucking hate this fucking shit so much.

[Skippord]

Speaking of suicide

[TerranRich]

Man, this just put RAW from "Moderately Tolerable" way down to "Gonna Have To Stick A Rusty Fork In My Eyeball And Eat A Pound Of Horse Manure To Get The Bad Taste Out Of My Mouth" level.

[RP]

ROFL KHALI

[The Optimist]

Btw. Carlito goes from fueding with Masters to fueding with Khali.


Expect Carlito to spit on Vince's ass in a few weeks.

[TerranRich]

I think this entire promo was Vince telling us that he knows what he's doing, he's not really crazy...but yet...he is. Very crazy indeed.

[Skippord]

Die die die Vince die Fuck the police

[The Optimist]

I have a bet going with The Critic as if they're trying to make Raw worse everyweek.


I honestly thought last weeks was the worst ever, but I think he's winning at this point.

[Skippord]

Man fuck this shit COMTON

[Azriel]

He really wants to face Trump a Mania doesn't he? You know what Vince? Ain't going to happen.

[Skippord]

That'd be a sick match tho

[The Optimist]

I think this entire promo was Vince telling us that he knows what he's doing, he's not really crazy...but yet...he is. Very crazy indeed.
Why the fuck do we even watch this shit any more then? If this is the best they have when they're competent and trying then. . .what the fuck?

[Volare]

Because we pray to any god that could hear us that something remotely good MIGHT happen.

[RP]

No seriously, i love this. I think they should have Khali show up everytime something gets real good. Like during a Nitro/ Hardy ladder match, Khali comes out from under the ring and chops them to death, totally killing the match.

Maybe at Wrestlmania, he can show up in the Main Event. Totally random and just start chopping people until the fans are silent and start to leave.

Then maybe they can start editing Khali into some past great matches. Wrestlemania 3, Savage vs Steamboat, Khali comes from the ceiling and begins to chop everyone.

Wrestlmania 2000, Khali on a ladder.

This could work. I like this.

[SuperSlim]

Vince knows exactly what he's doing. He knows he can make his product a lot better, he even had his own talent come out and say it but ... Vince is just showing that he's Vince and can do whatever the hell he wants.

Khali = Vince
Carlito = Us

Vince wins... wow Vince is pretty smart to think of something like that.

[Skippord]

No seriously, i love this. I think they should have Khali show up everytime something gets real good. Like during a Nitro/ Hardy ladder match, Khali comes out from under the ring and chops them to death, totally killing the match.

Maybe at Wrestlmania, he can show up in the Main Event. Totally random and just start chopping people until the fans are silent and start to leave.

Then maybe they can start editing Khali into some past great matches. Wrestlemania 3, Savage vs Steamboat, Khali comes from the ceiling and begins to chop everyone.

Wrestlmania 2000, Khali on a ladder.

This could work. I like this.
That'd be pretty hilarious

[The Optimist]

FRUITY FRUITY FRUITY


SKITTTTTLES!!!

[Skippord]

JR's lost it too

[Batsu]

I can't hear JR's voice without thinking of that "My Ass" song now.

Speaking of ass... there's Victoria.

[KingofOldSchool]

My Raw's gotten better.

[SuperSlim]

and Vickie vs. Mickie... match of the night

[The Optimist]

Vince knows exactly what he's doing. He knows he can make his product a lot better, he even had his own talent come out and say it but ... Vince is just showing that he's Vince and can do whatever the hell he wants.

Khali = Vince
Carlito = Us

Vince wins... wow Vince is pretty smart to think of something like that.
We're being told we're idiots that aren't worthy of actual entertainment for five hours a week and on a differing monthly basis.

I really really wish I could stop watching this bullshit.

[KingofOldSchool]

Two hot and very good women's wrestler.

[Caged Heat18]

Nice little match thus far.

[Batsu]

LOL, finally, Victoria is fighting someone who can sell that sideslam right.

[KingofOldSchool]

Nice kick.

[SuperSlim]

my night was made complete with these two... even though I'll always be wishing for a Vickie win

[ClockShot]

That was a great match up till the end. Unexpected.

[The Optimist]

and Vickie vs. Mickie... match of the night
The women's match have been the matches of the night for the past two weeks.

[Skippord]

"I AM CRAZY ENOUGH TO SIGN THIS"

lol

[Skippord]

God that singing is freaky

[RP]

The thing about all this is, would USA put up with Vince screwing around with the ratings?

[Jura]

The women's match have been the matches of the night for the past two weeks.

[ClockShot]

The thing about all this is, would USA put up with Vince screwing around with the ratings?

With the way things are going. NBC already has. I'm wondering how many years WWE is locked in with USA?

[TerranRich]

Victoria's probably wishing she had some of Vince's insanity to add to her character.

Oh, and Khali did the whole running-in-and-ruining-great-matches thing in Smackdown, like during a Cruiserweight match he'd just come in and ruin it all. I HATED him and was glad he was in WWECW, where I wouldn't see him.

PISS BREAK CHALLENGE NOW.

[SuperSlim]

so why is Masters on the mic?

[The Optimist]

Have they gone from denying the break of the Masterlock to totally accepting it?

[KingofOldSchool]

Masters is shaking.

[St. Jimmy]

Masters is shaking. Roids?

[Skippord]

Someone cool please

[Skippord]

DAMN

[St. Jimmy]

RON SIMMONS!

[KingofOldSchool]

DAMN

[Caged Heat18]

DAMN

[TerranRich]

FINALLY a non-speaking role!

DAMN!

[Skippord]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[SuperSlim]

Ron Simmons?

[St. Jimmy]

APA Music :love:

[The Optimist]

GOD I love this theme.

I barely fucking remember it but GODDAMN its awesome.

[ClockShot]

APA MUSIC! GOOD TIMES!

[Skippord]

BEAT HIS ASS RON

[TerranRich]

If Simmons breaks it, he has to be put on full-time wrestling.

But I call it first: Simmons loses and then gets up and says "...DAMN!" and walks away sadly. :D

[Skippord]

That'd rule

[Caged Heat18]

C'mon Ron Simmons

[SuperSlim]

but his fingers are separated so it was already broken

[The Optimist]

FUCK YES> SUPERCRAZY!!!!!

[KingofOldSchool]

WHAT?

That's random.

[St. Jimmy]

Super Crazy, wtf?

[Caged Heat18]

Super Crazy? WTF!?

[Skippord]

Random Super Crazy

[The Optimist]

FUCK YES SUPERCRAZY'S THEME

[TerranRich]

ARRRRRIBA! Love the music. LMAO

[Jura]

lol that was so Random

[ClockShot]

We're going back to the Super Crazy fued?!

[KingofOldSchool]

LOL Super Crazy has Desperado music now??

[Skippord]

YES

[The Optimist]

It makes perfect sense. Masters-Crazy fued here we come.

[SuperSlim]

I like Crazy's theme

[St. Jimmy]

biggest swerve ever: Van Dam wins the rumble.

[Skippord]

I wish my ceiling leaked skittles

[Caged Heat18]

Watch Super Crazy be released tomorrow now.

[SuperSlim]

sour skittles would rule

[KingofOldSchool]

biggest swerve ever: Chris Jericho wins the rumble.

[Skippord]

Shelton is the man

[KingofOldSchool]

YAY The Masterlock is still unbroken.

[SuperSlim]

biggest swerve ever: Someone with talent wins the rumble.

[The Optimist]

Holy shit.

Flair in a DX shirt, I might kill myself.