The Ultimate Warrior

[Flashman#2]

Looooove him. I know I'm not old enough to have seen him back when he was ruling the Wreslting world as Champion, but just going back and reading about his work and his past matches makes me envy his time. I have seen a couple matches of his including his Career Match with Randy Savage Wrestlemania 3 or 4 (can't remember) and his match with Rick Rude for the IC Title at one of the Summerslams. He's not that bad of a worker, although Rude and Savage did carry him in those.

But I bought the Ultimate Warrior DVD the other day and the whole story with Jake Roberts was awesome. I can't believe Jake tied him to the ropes and had his snake bite him and then he locked him in the casket. WOW. Not to many people can get locked in a casket and then wrestle a match in a week. DAM THAT Jake for being a SELLOUT and turning on him though. Fuck you Jake. Look at you know all washed up and can't even speak right. Idiot.

Sorry, but Ultimate Warrior is now my favorite past wrestler. I hope he comes back for one more match. Maybe recreating the main event at WM 1990

[Mercury Bullet]

:|

[U-Warrior]

BRIGHT SHINY MUFFINS DABBLE IN THE SORCEROUS WAYS OF MONKEYS!

Take heed of those words, Flashman #17. Because, that is the destiny of those who queer up the warrior's empire with talk of love. Or "loooooove" WHICH IS 10 TIMES AS QUEER! Centaurman #9 you must turn around. TURN AROUND and face the wasteland, for you have been banished from the paradisical ways of the warrior empire. That which once was able to prepare a feast, can now only prepare toast. With cinnamon. The warrior shall give you that much, Gravityman # poop. AND YOU WILL GO! Into the barren desert. Just like the old guy from Judge Dredd. And you will meet, and have queer sex with him, the likes of which will haunt Joan Rivers to her very soul. And then you will die as all queers do. Burning to death in a pool of radiated hulk-fish.

The U-Warrior

[Flashman#2]

ok Jake the Snake :nono:

[Crippla]

BRIGHT SHINY MUFFINS DABBLE IN THE SORCEROUS WAYS OF MONKEYS!

Take heed of those words, Flashman #17. Because, that is the destiny of those who queer up the warrior's empire with talk of love. Or "loooooove" WHICH IS 10 TIMES AS QUEER! Centaurman #9 you must turn around. TURN AROUND and face the wasteland, for you have been banished from the paradisical ways of the warrior empire. That which once was able to prepare a feast, can now only prepare toast. With cinnamon. The warrior shall give you that much, Gravityman # poop. AND YOU WILL GO! Into the barren desert. Just like the old guy from Judge Dredd. And you will meet, and have queer sex with him, the likes of which will haunt Joan Rivers to her very soul. And then you will die as all queers do. Burning to death in a pool of radiated hulk-fish.

The U-Warrior
U-Warrior, you're a fake warrior. You come off as queer to me.

[U-Warrior]

Yes snakes, Metalman #1,000,7456,454.

I suspect you have had a lot of them in your mouth. But fear not, HULK HOGAN. For when your judgement comes, the great griffen in the sky shall swoop down in cyber-augmented wings, and grasp the mighty pear of juiciness from the tree of woe, and all named John Smith, shall burn in hell.

The U-Warrior

[Flashman#2]

TIME FREEZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BITCH

[U-Warrior]

Ok.

What was that supposed to do?


The U-Warrior

[Xero]

The Destruction of the Ultimate Queer

[The One]

QUEERING DOESN'T MAKE THE WORLD WORK! RAHHHWAARAAAWHAAA

[Flashman#2]

you guys don't know the first thing about wrestling. stop the chit chat.

[The One]

you guys don't know the first thing about wrestling.

:) :D :lol: :rofl: http://forum.gamion.de/images/smilies/018rofl.gifhttp://www.ursay.co.uk/blahdocs/Smilies/ursay/lmao.gif

I've forgotten more about professional wrestling than you will ever know.

[Crippla]

you guys don't know the first thing about wrestling. stop the chit chat.
Pretty ironic coming from a mark who thinks wrestling is real. (See thread about Tatanka.)

[Flashman#2]

who you talking to guy? What are you, a Chris Benoit fan? That guy sucks. Talk about BORING. I'm no mark. I'm a smark man. so just take your post and go into the another forum please.

[Crippla]

Now I get the impression you're a sock.

[Flashman#2]

a what?

[The One]

Sad day when CanadianCrippla isn't the worst thing about a thread...

[Crippla]

Chris Benoit is far from boring btw. He's not "Mr. Personality" but he is one of the greatest wrestlers of all time and yes, he's my favorite wrestler.

[Flashman#2]

look. I'm sorry. I don't want to offend anybody. I just want to have wrestling discussions here. That's what this thread was meant for and this is what happens. Maybe I chose the wrong topic or something.

[Flashman#2]

Chris Benoit is far from boring btw. He's not "Mr. Personality" but he is one of the greatest wrestlers of all time and yes, he's my favorite wrestler.

ok, I'll admit I went overboard. He's good as a wrestler. Not a personal favorite, but good. I don't like that kind of wrestling that much though. I'm more of a storyline fan.

[Bad Company]

I'm a warrior mark. But his time is over.

Now Hogan, there's a living legend who can still go in the ring, and not make an ass of himself out of it. Remember Thunder in Paradise? Classic.
What abolut his Epic with the Rock at Wrestlemania? Where he proved once and for all that Hulkamania was running wild in this generation.

Hulk Still Rules Brother.

[The One]

Oh BC you better be joking...

[Goulet]

Looooove him. I know I'm not old enough to have seen him back when he was ruling the Wreslting world as Champion, but just going back and reading about his work and his past matches makes me envy his time. I have seen a couple matches of his including his Career Match with Randy Savage Wrestlemania 3 or 4 (can't remember) and his match with Rick Rude for the IC Title at one of the Summerslams. He's not that bad of a worker, although Rude and Savage did carry him in those.

But I bought the Ultimate Warrior DVD the other day and the whole story with Jake Roberts was awesome. I can't believe Jake tied him to the ropes and had his snake bite him and then he locked him in the casket. WOW. Not to many people can get locked in a casket and then wrestle a match in a week. DAM THAT Jake for being a SELLOUT and turning on him though. Fuck you Jake. Look at you know all washed up and can't even speak right. Idiot.

Sorry, but Ultimate Warrior is now my favorite past wrestler. I hope he comes back for one more match. Maybe recreating the main event at WM 1990

Ok I'm probably wasting my time here cause this is most likely a sock but anyways... Career match with Savage was Wrestlemania 7, Jake never tied Warrior to the ropes and had the snake bite him that was Savage, and Wrestling is fake you fucking retard... thank you :wave:

[FourFifty]

:) :D :lol: :rofl: http://forum.gamion.de/images/smilies/018rofl.gifhttp://www.ursay.co.uk/blahdocs/Smilies/ursay/lmao.gif

I've forgotten more about professional wrestling than you will ever know.

Tovo, you should write a book called "The big book of things Tovo has said" so when I steal one of your lines I can say "I read it in The big book of things Tovo has said."

[AJHayes]

I think you've all just been trolled.


Either that, or Flashman#2 is a fucking retard.

So many wrong facts... just...want...to...hit...him...

[addy2hotty]

The Ultimate Warrior wakes up in the morning. Uses the toilet, has a wash, brushes his teeth and then has a quick shout at himself in the mirror. On the mirror is a hastily put together lipstick-drawn characture of Gene Okerlund with a microphone.

As he gets dressed for the day ahead, he shouts "How must I prepare you must ask yourself. Shall I jump of the tallest building of the world, or do I lay on the lawn and let it run over me with lawnmowers, or should I go to Africa and let it trample me with raging elephants". Struggling to decide, he simply slips on some shorts and an old Warrior t-shirt from days gone by.

He runs down the stairs of his 2-floored house, and draws back his curtains. Once completed, he pulls hard on the reinforced drawstrings to psyche himself up for his day.

He makes his breakfast, first a bowl of cornflakes which he shouts randomly at for 'simply floating like a bird in the sky in the milk'.

He leaves his house, walking into town to buy some groceries. As members of the public walk by, he randomly mutters - 'Normal people, the people who walk the streets every day we cannot understand!'

Sometimes Warrior sinks to his knees, some members of the public check if he's ok, others call the police, others leave cash in front of him.

Unable to continue to walk by said members of the public, he returns home to enter his car, a Warriored-up 2CV, and progresses to the petrol/gas station where he is met by an attendant who he tells "Load the spaceship with the rocket fuel!".

Again the police are called, mainly after some random barking and shouting by Warrior. The Gas station attendants provide him with car fuel, and a Twix. Which calms him down enough to leave.

He procedes to the bank for a meeting with the bank manager, who sadly tells him that funds are low. Warrior, shocked by this information, decides to disown money completely, happy that he can live on his Warrior soul instead. The bank manager, after a gorilla press slam, hears Warrior utter his contempt for his occupation as he leaves. "All the money in the world can't buy what it takes to be a champion Ted Dibiase. Dollars do not buy desire , bankrolls do not build biceps, and the world does not sing your praises because of c-notes!"

Warrior returns home after a difficult day, he creates his dinner, a Meat-Loaf and fries scenario, and sits down at the table and monitors the dish closely before naming the various parts of his dinner. After a while, shouting ensues -

"I can smell it...it is in the air...the cosmic powers of Mars...the clouds of Jupiter...the rings of saturn...the boiling heat of Mercury. Something's gonna happen, Warriors. I can feel it. Warriors, I need not Earthquake insurance. I need not health insurance. I will never need life insurance. For the Warriors all know, the life that flows in their body IS NOT THAT OF THE NORMALS. The marrow in these bones is of a differnet composition. The blood in these veins is of a diffent consistency. The brain waves in my mind are of an unknown frequency. The muscles that the Warriors attact themselves to is of a different structure. Not even you Dino Bravo... not even you Jimmy Hart...not even a natural disaster, can stop me, as I take the Warriors and fullfill the Ultimate Destiny."

As his tirade at the tasty dish ensues, his neighbours bang on his door, demanding an end to his loud beration-of-dinner sessions. He answers the door, and is confronted by his neighbours, a retired Army general and a funeral director. Before they can say anything, Warrior tells them exactly what to go do with themselves - "I was born from the darkness you fear. I have had to learn to live in the light of this normal universe, and neither you Sgt Slaughter, nor you Undertaker, have the seal to the fate of my destiny - the destiny of my Warriors. Tonight, there will be no visions of Royal Rumble, Tonight there will be no 'mother of all battles', for I Sgt Slaughter bring you THE ULTIMATE BATTLE!!!"

The General, visably upset, once again alerts the police to Warriors actions. They arrive, armed with stun guns and nightsticks, and procede to put the Warrior to sleep.

Where he dreams of days gone by.

And so ends a normal day in the life of the Ultimate Warrior, a valued member of the community.

[Goulet]

The Ultimate Warrior wakes up in the morning. Uses the toilet, has a wash, brushes his teeth and then has a quick shout at himself in the mirror. On the mirror is a hastily put together lipstick-drawn characture of Gene Okerlund with a microphone.

As he gets dressed for the day ahead, he shouts "How must I prepare you must ask yourself. Shall I jump of the tallest building of the world, or do I lay on the lawn and let it run over me with lawnmowers, or should I go to Africa and let it trample me with raging elephants". Struggling to decide, he simply slips on some shorts and an old Warrior t-shirt from days gone by.

He runs down the stairs of his 2-floored house, and draws back his curtains. Once completed, he pulls hard on the reinforced drawstrings to psyche himself up for his day.

He makes his breakfast, first a bowl of cornflakes which he shouts randomly at for 'simply floating like a bird in the sky in the milk'.

He leaves his house, walking into town to buy some groceries. As members of the public walk by, he randomly mutters - 'Normal people, the people who walk the streets every day we cannot understand!'

Sometimes Warrior sinks to his knees, some members of the public check if he's ok, others call the police, others leave cash in front of him.

Unable to continue to walk by said members of the public, he returns home to enter his car, a Warriored-up 2CV, and progresses to the petrol/gas station where he is met by an attendant who he tells "Load the spaceship with the rocket fuel!".

Again the police are called, mainly after some random barking and shouting by Warrior. The Gas station attendants provide him with car fuel, and a Twix. Which calms him down enough to leave.

He procedes to the bank for a meeting with the bank manager, who sadly tells him that funds are low. Warrior, shocked by this information, decides to disown money completely, happy that he can live on his Warrior soul instead. The bank manager, after a gorilla press slam, hears Warrior utter his contempt for his occupation as he leaves. "All the money in the world can't buy what it takes to be a champion Ted Dibiase. Dollars do not buy desire , bankrolls do not build biceps, and the world does not sing your praises because of c-notes!"

Warrior returns home after a difficult day, he creates his dinner, a Meat-Loaf and fries scenario, and sits down at the table and monitors the dish closely before naming the various parts of his dinner. After a while, shouting ensues -

"I can smell it...it is in the air...the cosmic powers of Mars...the clouds of Jupiter...the rings of saturn...the boiling heat of Mercury. Something's gonna happen, Warriors. I can feel it. Warriors, I need not Earthquake insurance. I need not health insurance. I will never need life insurance. For the Warriors all know, the life that flows in their body IS NOT THAT OF THE NORMALS. The marrow in these bones is of a differnet composition. The blood in these veins is of a diffent consistency. The brain waves in my mind are of an unknown frequency. The muscles that the Warriors attact themselves to is of a different structure. Not even you Dino Bravo... not even you Jimmy Hart...not even a natural disaster, can stop me, as I take the Warriors and fullfill the Ultimate Destiny."

As his tirade at the tasty dish ensues, his neighbours bang on his door, demanding an end to his loud beration-of-dinner sessions. He answers the door, and is confronted by his neighbours, a retired Army general and a funeral director. Before they can say anything, Warrior tells them exactly what to go do with themselves - "I was born from the darkness you fear. I have had to learn to live in the light of this normal universe, and neither you Sgt Slaughter, nor you Undertaker, have the seal to the fate of my destiny - the destiny of my Warriors. Tonight, there will be no visions of Royal Rumble, Tonight there will be no 'mother of all battles', for I Sgt Slaughter bring you THE ULTIMATE BATTLE!!!"

The General, visably upset, once again alerts the police to Warriors actions. They arrive, armed with stun guns and nightsticks, and procede to put the Warrior to sleep.

Where he dreams of days gone by.

And so ends a normal day in the life of the Ultimate Warrior, a valued member of the community.

Funniest thing I've ever read

[Anybody Thrilla]

The Ultimate Warrior was far and away my favorite when I was a kid. He will always have a special place in my heart. However, I hope he doesn't come back.

[FourFifty]

The Warrior is kinda like the pet tape worm I had when I was seven. He was cool when I had him, and when he was gone I missed him, but looking back he did more harm than good.

[KingofOldSchool]

QUEERING DON'T MAKE THE FORUMS WORK.

Unless you're Tovo.