RAW Captions - 02/19/07

[Xero]

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[Xero]

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WM23 Sign: ....
Orton: ..What'd you say about my momma!?
Sign: ....
Orton: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! :'(

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Groundskeeper Willie made his RAW debut to mixed reactions.

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Gay Old Men #68 - A Ride on Space Mountain

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Carlito invents a new move: The "Domo Arigato, Mr. Butt-Bumpo".

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Jeff Hardy - Wrestler by night, mild-mannered Cuban drug lord by day.

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Randy Orton's arm grew five sizes that day.

[Jura]

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HBK: Yeah, you didn't think I would find out you had my Playgirl portrait didn't you Cena? But I did!
Cena: Come on Shawn, I told you it wasn't me.
Orton: Bunny...

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HBK: Eww, I told you not to fart Randy.
*Starts fanning the area with the chair.

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Orton: But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Wrestlemania 23 is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief that thou her maid art far more fair than she. Be not her maid, since she is envious. Her vestal livery is but sick and green, and none but fools do wear it. Cast it off...

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Jura: Aww everything will be okay Mickie. I promise. Here's a hug. Mmmm your skin feels so soft. Wanna go to the hotel and talk about it?

[addy2hotty]

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HBK:- Hey wigger, don't look disappointed, you just killed a white man. I'd run if I were you.

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Raw's ratings hit an all-time low as even the Titantron stopped watching.

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Orton debuted his new finisher. The rest-hold-KO.

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Even the gum on his shoe couldn't stop Super-Cena as he punished Orton with various weak looking moves.

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RHBKO's new 5-second pose had a life-like quality.

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The wind of silence for the anticipation of WM23 blew Orton pretty hard.

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Rory looked anxiously at himself on the big screen. He knew it, Robbie knew it, and the fans knew it. This would be the last time he'd ever be on Raw.

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Not content with killing various midcarders careers, Khali knew something the smarks didn't. He was facing London & Kendrick on Smackdown this week.

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Irony was the Raw word of the day as Melina became only the second man to hold the Womens Title for 'Wrestling'. Somewhere, Victoria shed a tear.

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Raw fans were shocked as Mickie James began to pat her head at random. No matter what she tried, she couldn't get the universal translator working. Somewhere, Quark laughed a little.

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Chyna, fresh from her 'latina-me-up' operation made her triumphant return to Raw.

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Mickie was distraught, not only could she not understand anyone, but she realised that when she married her boyfriend, her surname would be 'Dykstra'.

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Edge was surprised. RVD wasn't looking to grab the rope, but for the joint in the corner.

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As Edge appeared elated at being in 'yet another ladder match' at Mania. Randy smiled, he'd just shit in Edge's bag backstage.

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Torrie - Look happy boys, you just won a match.
Flair - I've just signed a deal to pose in Playboy. My tits are bigger than yours.
Carlito - Thats not cool.

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As Trevor and Ric came together, Vince rubbed his hands at the thought of a 'Flair & Murdoch - Limos and Cowboy Hats' Movie.

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Carlito's latest move was iconic of his career standing in the WWE. Going backwards, looking down.

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As Umaga's 'spinny belt' was on its way, Estrada decided to burn the current IC title. He had, however, forgotten the lighter. But managed to gurn his way through the segment.

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Poor Jeff Hardy, not only had he been buried by Khali a few weeks earlier, he was now subjected to 'Umagy Love', a tongue and thumb combination that was all the rage on the gay scene. Jeff pretended to hate it.

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McMahon was confronted by the Cuban Mafia in his local hair salon. 'I will not free Cuba', shouted McMahon. 'If you do, I will get my Umaga to provide you with UMAGY LOVE', Estrada suggested. Vince smiled, he liked that idea.

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'For 2 hours, I will sit in this seat and sleep through the whole broadcast of Raw', shouted Vince. Much like everyone watching at home.

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Fans were shocked as the YTMND favourite appeared on screen. 'Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise' were the words, as Picard beamed in and phasered McMahon out of existance.

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'Right now, I'm going to whack off to this old photo of Britney for the entire duration of Raw'. Much like everyone at home.

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'You dont like John Cena now? Well how about Cena when he's 60?'

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Mr McMahon was looking forward to his latest Penis extension operation. Not only would his pencil now have a ball on the end, the whole world would have to suffer it.

[Xero]

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Oscar the Grouch returns, now completely hairless, looking for revenge on JBL.