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View Full Version : Hassan is in trouble! He needs our help!


TerranRich
02-21-2007, 11:01 AM
From: "MOHAMMED HASSAN" <drmo_hassan22@hotmail.com> Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
Subject: Attention:
Date: Wed, 21 Feb 2007 14:26:42 +0000


Attention:

I am a well reputable Physician to some top government personnel in
Democratic Republic of Congo.

Recently one of my clients who happens to be a very close family friend to
late President Mobutu Sese Seko family came up with a lucrative business
proposal.

In brief, President Mobutu Sese Seko was our former head of state who died
suddenly on September 7,, 1997.

Upon the sudden and tragic death of this man, the new administration
started an intensive exercise to freeze all his bank accounts both home and
abroad as he was confirmed to have diverted a certain percentage of oil
proceeds totaling US$580M (Five Hundred and Eighty Million U.S. Dollars
Only) into private bank accounts scattered in several countries of the
World. About =N=4.5 Billion (Four Billion, Five Hundred Million cfas) our
local currency was recovered from his official residence after his death.

However, there happens to be the sum of US$10,500,000.00 (Ten Million,Five
Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only) hidden away in a company
Security account deposit (CSAD) in Madrid Spain being known only by me and
Mrs. AMINATA KABORE who ran to Burkina faso for her dear life,she is Family
Friend to Late Mobutu's family.

It is therefore on this note that Mrs. AMINATA is secretly looking for a
trustworthy and understanding person who will help to accommodate and
safeguard this fund in his account to save them from the calamities of the
present clamp down on the Mobutu's family.

This woman due to the urgency of this matter are prepared give away with
30% of this money to whoever can render the assistance,10% for local and
international expenses,While the balance of 60% would be for us.

My Associate who is a close family friend to the Mobutu's family has
therefore asked me to contact you for this business and also co-ordinate
this transaction on behalf of himself and me.

This woman is in serious financial distress and this is the only hope of the
her familyafter all the suffering with the late Mobutus family, as all their
passports and travel documents have been seized by the Government .

Note that there is no risk involved as this is only known to you, myself,
and her .

As soon as I hear from you, I shall give you detailed information on our to
go about this project However, we will reach you for more highlights as soon
as we receive your letter of acceptance/acknowledgment.

Currently i am here in assulmy [sic] in Spain Madrid and we need you to come down
here so that you apply to the security company here where this money is
deposited, i cant apply for this because we need a capable hand that will
assist me in handling this deal

This business is highly confidential and therefore should be treated as
such.

I await a quick response from you. God be with us.

Yours faithfully,
Dr Mohammed Hassan
+34 626 563 486

Granted, he misspelled his name, but he's in dire need of our help! It's good to see he's a doctor now. At least he's done something with himself since quitting WWE.

Here's my response to him:


Dearest Mr. Hassan,

It is disconcerting to hear of your recent troubles. Firstly, please allow me to extend my condolences on the death of your president, Mobutu Sese Seko. Secondly, it is good to see that you have been keeping busy since your days in WWE. And you're a doctor now! This is excellent news. Your fans are still strong in numbers and wished you the best in your future endeavors when you quit wrestling. We never realized that those endeavors would lead you to become a doctor and a close friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of President Mobutu Sese Seko, of all people!

I am calling upon all wrestling fans to help you, Mr. Hassan, in your quest to launder an uncanny amount of money that most likely does not exist. I mean, if this were anyone else... ANYONE else at all... I would be hard-pressed to think it would some sort of scam or something. And while I don't exactly know what an "assulmy" is, I'm sure it's very important and needs our attention immediately.

Little did you know that I am a friend of a friend of a friend of the esteemed (?) President George W. Bush. I have forwarded this email to him and you will get the help you need. It's only fair, Mr. Hassan, after your years (okay, YEAR) of dedicated hard-work for the professional wrestling world.

Oh, and one more thing: I wanted to&mdash;

ALALLEAYEYYAYAYYALLALALELEYYEYYAYYAALALELEYYYEYELAYAYYEYEALELAEYEYELALELAYLAEEYEYAEEAAAA....

DAMN YOU, HASSAN! THAT $10,500,000.00 WILL BE MINE!!

Yours in faith,
Vincent K. McMahon


Apologies if this is in the wrong forum, but it is wrestling related. Pretty funny how he chose the name "MOHAMMED HASSAN". ;)

Avenger
02-21-2007, 11:15 AM
wtf

Jordan
02-21-2007, 11:19 AM
crasssssssssssssshhh! burrrnnnnnn...

St. Jimmy
02-21-2007, 11:39 AM
LOL.

SammyG
02-21-2007, 11:41 AM
i wanna lol but It's not happenin'. I'll give it a wtf.

addy2hotty
02-21-2007, 11:48 AM
You know, working for an Internet provider here in the UK, you wouldn't believe the amount of people that fall for this shit.

TerranRich
02-21-2007, 12:07 PM
I get a scam email like that about once a day on average...some days not at all, and other days about 2 or 3. They all say the same thing. I just ignore them, but this one I had to respond to and joke around about "Mohammed Hassan" being in trouble. :p

SammyG
02-21-2007, 01:54 PM
AALLLEYALLALLLHH

FourFifty
02-21-2007, 02:03 PM
It's good to know that this thread is Bob Backlund Authrotized.

PullMyFinger
02-21-2007, 02:49 PM
LOL

Funky Fly
02-21-2007, 03:36 PM
I know 2 Mohammads and a Hassan, nevermind the fact that Mohammad and Hassan are 2 of the most common Muslim names ever...

Kane Knight
02-21-2007, 03:52 PM
So if I fell for this, and found my Bank Account emptied, would I be HASSAN'd?

TerranRich
02-21-2007, 03:56 PM
So if I fell for this, and found my Bank Account emptied, would I be HASSAN'd?
Damn straight. I don't want to be Hassan'd. The irony of that occurring to me is too great to be contained in this universe.

Rammsteinmad
02-21-2007, 04:00 PM
:lol:

Blue Demon
02-21-2007, 04:32 PM
:lol:

Kane Knight
02-21-2007, 05:46 PM
Damn straight. I don't want to be Hassan'd. The irony of that occurring to me is too great to be contained in this universe.

TR: Yes, I'd lke to check on my savings.

Teller: I'm sorry sir, but your account has been closed.

TR: What?

Teller: It says here that a gentleman transferred all your funds to a swiss bank account and close your account. Oh, and he left a message.

TR: What?

Teller: ALLLEYAAAAAAA

Blue Demon
02-21-2007, 06:36 PM
<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LT32JLIQq_M"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LT32JLIQq_M" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>


Another reason he needs our help

addy2hotty
02-21-2007, 06:57 PM
Man, that guy got dream-level heat.

Xero
02-21-2007, 06:58 PM
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g122/sandman3g/Wrestling/thatshassansist.gif

Xero
02-21-2007, 07:35 PM
In all seriousness, I would love to see a shoot interview with him just talking about the gimmick.

TerranRich
02-21-2007, 11:08 PM
We need to compile a TPWW WISH LIST:

1. Shoot interview with Mark Copani regarding his Hassan character.

Gertner
02-21-2007, 11:30 PM
hahaha

FourFifty
02-22-2007, 12:29 AM
We need to compile a TPWW WISH LIST:

Sounds like a good bit for the scenes from a hat thread.

ChiefStubbs
02-25-2007, 10:05 PM
Heh, my friend, Cjad the Nord, from another forum, posted this under a topic titled "E-mail Spam II; The Scammening":

"I won't waste time explaining this in detail (sorry, no tables), and get right to it. On the 31st of January this year, I recieved an e-mail entitled "URGENT REPLY NEEDED" sent by someone named "Muhamed Hassane". This was obviously either spam or a scam, but I read it anyway for the lulz. Here is the first e-mail, verbatim:


FROM THE DESK OF MR.MUHAMED HASSANE
BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK (ADB)
OUAGADOU-BURKINA FASO


DEAR FRIEND,

THIS MESSAGE MIGHT MEET YOU IN UTMOST SURPRISE,HOWEVER,IT'S JUST MY
URGENT
NEED FOR FOREIGN PARTNER THAT MADE ME TO CONTACT YOU FOR THIS
TRANSACTION.

I AM A BANKER BY PROFESSION FROM BURKINA FASO IN WEST AFRICA AND
CURRENTLY
HOLDING THE POST OF BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER IN OUR BANK,AFRICAN
DEVELOPMENT BANK(ADB).I HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY OF TRANSFERING THE LEFT
OVER
FUNDS ($25.5MILLION) OF ONE OF MY BANK CLIENTS. MR. ANDREAS
SCHRANNER,WHO
DIED ALONG WITH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY ON 31 JULY 2000 IN A PLANE
CRASH,LIVING
NOBODY BEHIND TO CLAIM HIS LEFT OVER FUND WITH MY BANK.

YOU CAN CONFIRM THE GENUINESS OF THE DECEASED DEATH BY CLICKING ON THIS
WEB
SITE.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

HENCE,I AM INVITING YOU FOR A BUSINESS DEAL WHERE THIS MONEY CAN BE
SHARED
BETWEEN US IN THE RATIO OF 30/70 IF YOU AGREE TO MY BUSINESS
PROPOSAL,FURTHER DETAILS OF THE TRANSFER WILL BE FORWARDED TO YOU AS
SOON AS
I RECEIVE YOUR RETURN MAIL.

HAVE A GREAT DAY.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

MUHAMED HASSANE
BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK (ADB).


* Copypasta'd. I particularly liked the "YOURS FAITHFULLY" bit, being that I've never met this person. Now at the time, I was very bored (the catalyst of every stupid action), so I decided to reply to this guy. He is my return e-mail, verbatim:




Dear Mr. Muhamed Hassane,

Indeed, your letter has caught me as quite the surprise, being that I have absolutely no connections to anyone involved with your bank or your country in general. How exactly did you learn who I was, and why exactly do you want to split this very large sum of money with me?

Awaiting your reply e-mail,
C. J. Muir


* Yes, I used a fake name. Not entirely fake though, Muir being my ancestral family name (I bring honor to my family!). Anyway, I didn't think the scammer would have the huevos to respond to my indirect questioning of his authenticity, but he did a few hours later. His reply, verbatim:




Dear Mr C. J. Muir

Greetings and thank very much for your response, i know that this letter will come to you as a surprise, but it was as a result of the satisfactory informations i received about you made me to contact you for thios transaction,i got your contact from one of my friend who run a consultancy firm in your country but now working with the Burkina faso ministry of commerce and industry.

He told me about your reliability, honesty and capability to assist me for foreign investment, though i did not give him the full details of this transaction becuase of the confidenciality.

Please i want to reasure you of the 100% risl free as long as you are willing to abide by all my instructions and directives to avoid any error from your side, becuase any error in this transaction will make the bank to close your payment file.

However, i am ready to work with you in this transaction untill this fund is finaly comfirmed in to your account in your country , first i want you to understand that i have all the relevant informations concerning the late customer as well as this transaction and these informations will help to authenticate your claim as the real beneficiary and next of kin to the late customer, i will provide these informations as soon as i hear from you again indicating your full interest in this transaction and you must understand that constant communication is very important .

You must learn to call me every day so that i can be given you developments and informations to avoid error.

Please as soon as i hear from you i am going to send to you a copy of the application which you are going to fill with your receiving bank informations and personal datas and send to the office of the foreign remittance director of my bank to enable them commence on the transfer approval process while i am here to guide and direct on what to do.

Please you must understand how important it is to keep this transaction confidencial, dont let the bank know about my involvement in this transaction.

I so much appreciate the interest you have and the effort to reply this mail, i will forward more informations to you soon.

You can call me urgently through my direct number 00226-70-37-10-16.

Extend my greetings to your family and may the almighty Allah keep you all.

Expecting your urgent response to proceed.

Thanks
BROTHER
BROTHER
MUHAMED HASSANE


* As you can see, his response is entirely TL;DR, and at the time I didn't consider it worthy of a response. Obviously, someone else sent this e-mail (most likely the brains of the operation was called in when the lackey recieved my questioning e-mail) as it's no longer in caps, and includes some different characteristics to the previous.

But I digress. I decided not to pursue any further contact with these scammers because I didn't see the potential for lulz. That was, until today.

I opened my inbox, and what was staring me in the face? This e-mail, entitled (aptly) "RE : Re: URGENT REPLY NEEDED". Verbatim:




Dear Friend,
Thanks for the mail and i intend using the means of one of my friend who is also a diplomat and he has agreed to use his power of virtue and see that a security firm in London will have the fund delivered to you in a vault as a diplomatic consignment and that will be done only if you agree to this idea.

I believe this is the best and safest way to do this because you do not need to involve your account details in this process all you need is let me know if you agree to that and the fund will be delivered directly to you.

I await to hear from you because we have limited time to conclude this arrangement.
Muhamed


* Interesting, no? The e-mail has taken on an entirely different tone, and is addressed from, simply, "Muhamed". Strange, because in Islamic naming conventions, one can not be "Mr. Hassane" or "Mr. Muhamed", they have to be "Mr. Muhamed Hassane" (which is what I addressed him as; I think I know more about Middle-Eastern culture then this guy).

Anyway, I haven't responded yet. I'm thinking exactly how I should run with this, but I'm thinking of simply agreeing to this transfer of "diplomatic consignment", and seeing where that takes me."

SammyG
02-26-2007, 02:53 AM
ALLLALEEEYLLAAHHHHHYLLEEEYYYAHH

Corkscrewed
02-26-2007, 06:20 AM
I need to find that Reader's Digest article where a guy got the scammer to send HIM money and join the "Church of the Red Breasted Sparrow" as well. It's pretty funny.

TerranRich
02-26-2007, 12:48 PM
What? Man, if I could find a way to scam the scammers I'd be happy. I actually did something like this, where somebody wanted me to accept money via PayPal, then transfer it to my bank account, then send him a percentage. Of course I accepted the money, and did nothing. Of course, PayPal said that the person who sent me the money wasn't really the person that owns that account..somebody hacked into his account and sent me the money. So I was told to send it back, and all is well. Harmless as long as you don't transfer it to your bank account, where I"m sure you'd owe PayPal.