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View Full Version : ...AND THE LORD SAID, "LET THERE BE JBL WRESTLING!"


James Steele
03-09-2007, 02:26 AM
http://www.wwe.com/inside/news/jblbackprocedure

JBL undergoes new back procedure

By Jen Hunt
Written: March 8, 2007

In the spring of 2005 JBL (http://www.wwe.com/superstars/smackdown/jbl/) broke his top vertebrae in half, and suffered a herniated disc and a bulged disc in his lower back in a match in London, England.
At the time of his injury, doctors told him there was nothing they could do for his herniated discs –- surgery would just aggravate it and make it irreparable. Recently, a non-surgical technique has been developed that is ubiquitous with professional sports teams for the treatment of herniated discs.
"It's basically your modern day traction," said JBL. "The DRX9000 is the machine, and it's what all the pro teams are using. It's what everyone is going to for lower back injuries instead of surgery. I'm very skeptical, obviously, but the doctor said it's not going to just make my back get better, it's actually going to heal it."
The tissue surrounding the spine that holds the discs in place is the Annulus Fibrosus. When the Annulus tears, the discs slip out and put pressure on the spine. The spinal decompression treatment JBL is undergoing will actually stretch his spine through a series of systematic movements according to body weight and tension in the spine. The process will allow the discs to relax and sink back into place, at which point the Annulus can heal around the discs.
"Its uncomfortable and you get sore from it, but from what I understand, it's not that painful," said JBL.
The injury resulted in a slew of health issues, from incontinence to numbness in his legs, and these issues ultimately forced him into retirement.
"The symptoms that I had from nerve damage alarmed me to a great degree," JBL told WWE.com. "I mentioned that to Vince McMahon; he didn't know anything about it and he took me out of the ring immediately."
JBL said it was disappointing to end his career at less than his best. Even though he tried to hide it, he couldn't do the things he wanted to do.
"My body had deteriorated where I was almost a parody of myself," JBL admitted. "Looking back at those tapes, it makes me sick that I had gotten that out of shape and couldn't do the things I wanted to do. I couldn't workout, and it was everything I could do to get through the night. By the time I traveled to the show, I could barely walk. I couldn't even stretch to warm up," said JBL. "So I didn't leave the way I wanted to leave. I left on top which was great, but I don't want the last memory of me to live forever to be the fat guy that wrestled Rey Mysterio (http://www.wwe.com/superstars/smackdown/reymysterio/) in Bakersfield, Calif."
JBL is feeling optimistic about the procedure, which has an 86 percent success rate with only a four percent rate of reocurrence. He began treatment yesterday, and will undergo it everyday for the next six weeks. He already has plans for what he'd like to do when it's over.
"Hopefully before I go play golf in the middle of April at St Andrew's, I'll be healthy enough to walk 18 holes," JBL said.



http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/3883682/4307830

This is the machine that will bring us back THE WRESTLING GOD!

ToVo, you may now cream your pants.

The One
03-09-2007, 03:12 AM
http://www.phatpimpclothing.com/hi/phatpimp/images/ex_skeet3.jpg

Corkscrewed
03-09-2007, 04:48 AM
lol

Um, good I guess? I'd love to see him remain as commentator, but the sad thing is that he'd bring back one of the company's more credible heels if he returned to wrestling.

Jura
03-09-2007, 06:11 AM
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/3883682/4307830

Looks kinda kinky.:naughty:

Funky Fly
03-09-2007, 06:41 AM
http://www.phatpimpclothing.com/hi/phatpimp/images/ex_skeet3.jpg
I WANT THAT

Theo Dious
03-09-2007, 08:12 AM
I'm torn now, JBL is the best commentator WWE has had in years, but at the same time Smackdown needs a good heel.

Blitz
03-09-2007, 01:09 PM
Fuck JBL.

Theo Dious
03-09-2007, 01:36 PM
If you must. Do you prefer Dial or Zest?

Fignuts
03-09-2007, 01:49 PM
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

YHUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Afterlife
03-09-2007, 06:03 PM
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/3883682/4307830

Looks kinda kinky.:naughty:

Most medical procedures involve some level of erotica.

Also, that thing looks like the bastard child of Soundwave and Perceptor. Yeah...I went there.

Shadow
03-09-2007, 06:14 PM
I can't belive you went there!

Sides, Soudwave wouldn't be caught dead with that Autobot geek.

St. Jimmy
03-09-2007, 06:57 PM
JBL/Lashley Fued. :love:

Afterlife
03-09-2007, 07:05 PM
Whatever. All Soundwave does is eavesdrop and spread gossip and shit. He needs a smart guy to do his homework while he's at the mall, or the FrostTop or whatever, gettin' the dirt on Susy Day and that boy from Woodsdale, with the scar. And there's nobody in school brighter than Perceptor. And, well...a 'Bot's got needs. What it boils down to, is Horny Genius + Slutty Rumorcon = Notable Advancement in the Field of Spinal Medicine.


That Susy Day is a total whore, by the way.

Shadow
03-09-2007, 07:42 PM
I fucking can't belive you Afterlife.

I fucking can't.

Afterlife
03-11-2007, 08:10 AM
Did you try?