RAW Captions (3/2/04)

[Azriel]

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http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/28.jpg
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/29.jpg

I think thats all of them.

[AareDub]

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The new WWE black light drug tests reveal that Kane is, in fact, the crack head guy from Chappelle's Show

[targo_the_sho_stopa]

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[/QUOTE]

Stand back girls, I'll protect you with my heat vision

[Corkscrewed]

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The fans knew Steve had really lost it when he suddenly forgot who he was, what he was doing, and why he was here.

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"Oh, Head of Food Sales? He's up there."

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"I want YOU... to job to Hunter."

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Steve never bothered with being inconspicuous when doing it for The Rock."

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The Passion of the Victoria was met with skepticism by the crowd but raves by Triple H.

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Ref: "And this is a giraffe!"
Molly and Jazz: "Whoa!!! Do more!!!"
Theodore: :roll: "Someone shoot ME in the ass..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/07.jpg
Stone Cold does his best Colorado University football player impression.

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The first-ever Headless Wrestlers Match was a resounding success.

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You know your career has hit rock bottom when Greg "The Hammer" Valentine is kicking your ass.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/10.jpg
...and preparing to rape you as well.

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Jackie: "Whoa, it's a little drafty..."

OR

Jackie botches the Marylin Monroe skit.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/12.jpg
It's Mindvision Time again!
Jackie: "I can't believe he's kissing Stacy's hand and not mine!"
Rico: "At least Stacy doesn't botch holding her hand out to be kissed."
Stacy: "You think Sean will like think I'm cotton candy and like take me out of this stupid angle? I mean like it didn't work for Trish, but like, I'm like totally hotter."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/13.jpg
When Kane's pyro hit, Tori knew she was screwed.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/14.jpg
Kane: "I think RVD's overdoing it a little..."

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And you see a rare shot of Midcard Hell...

OR

Triple H found a defect. His invisible crucifix wasn't so invisible when lit afire.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/16.jpg
Michaels: "I just thrust my neck into Midcard Hell to check if there's a spot for you next month. You're in luck. There is."
Benoit: "Better be... wait, what?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/17.jpg
Benoit: Most Violent "Guess Who?" Player Ever.

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The burial of Benoit had begun, as he was pinned by Batista while being repeatedly pimp slapped by the referee.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/19.jpg
Benoit: "OW! So this is how Shaniqua's victims feel!!!"

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Batista: "Gimme a push, Michaels, or I swear I'll fire!!!"

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Triple H practices his Wrestlemania XX match.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/22.jpg
Triple H: "No! You can't die before the Wrestlemania match! Who did this to you???"
Beniot: ....
Triple H: "SPEAK TO ME!!!"
Orton: "What the..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/23.jpg
Just as Booker was giving Matt a backdrop, RVD stopped being high...

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Booker T began his heel turn when he started mocking Sean O'Haire about actually having the opportunity to pin people.

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You would have been seeing this shot from the other side of the ring, but unfortunately, at that moment, that other cameraman had to take a leak doggy style...

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Rock: "Dammit, this pose doesn't work unless I have breasts."

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"No, HE'S a hobo!!!"

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The Rock's promo skills had gotten so rusty that they had reached Hardcore Holly Soporific Level, as indicated by Foley.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/29.jpg
The Rock indicates how many more times he'll be able to miss a year and still get a spot at Wrestlemania.

[Corkscrewed]

Oh, and since I'm getting to these early for a change, I'm gonna piss Loose Cannon off and...


http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/10.jpg http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/24.jpg
Cade and Booker T: "WHOA!!! Evolution Kool-Aid DOES work!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/21.jpg
Benot paid dearly after he took a sip of Evolution Kool-Aid.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/22.jpg
HHH: "Don't! You! Ever! Drink the Kool-Aid again!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/25.jpg
Foley: "Heh... guys... I... I swear I never.... never took nothing!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/27.jpg
Rock: "This is the man! This is the man who took the Kool-Aid!"
Mick: "You're on my side! You're not supposed to rat me out!"
Rock: "Oh wait, really? Shit. I've been out of this too long."

[Savio]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/11.jpg
*Insert whore joke here*
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Rock was fired because fans were to get confused with more then 2 goatee's in the WWE
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Ref: Wow a dime!

[Showstopper]

how do you do these?

[loopydate]

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Spike TV became enraged when their satellite feed got crossed with FOX's broadcast of "American Idol: Uncensored, Uncut, and Untalented."

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BALD GUY: She bangs she bangs...

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OLD GUY: And I don't ever wanna feeeeeeeeeel / Like I did that day / Take me to the place I looooooooooove...

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In this clip from the new "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas," we can see that the graphics have gotten a major overhaul, but...there's something lacking in the vehicle department.

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After the resounding flop of "Brocktoria" last week, WWE debuted Victoria's new gimmick: The RAW Cheerleader!

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MOLLY: No! I'm the #1 contender!
JAZZ: I am!
REF: Pretty light...

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MOLLY: Who's that behind you?
STEVE: Johnny Flameboy.
JOHN: Johnny Bla--
MOLLY: That's a gay name.
STEVE: Yeah, well, I think he might be a *whispers* homo.
JOHN: I'm not g--
MOLLY: Really? Well, I guess I'll tell all of the Divas. Stacy was telling me she thought he was kinda cute.
JOHN: I'M NOT G--
STEVE: Yeah, well. Isn't that always the way?
ERIC (off-camera): Hey, guys, Triple H is here!
JOHN: But I'm still he--
*Camera cuts away*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/08.jpg

CADE: Point to the mat!
HURRICANE: It's "Point to your knees."
REF: Stupid rookie...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/09.jpg

CADE: That'll teach you get out of your cage!
HURRICANE: That's Sean O'Haire.
REF: Stupid rookie...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/10.jpg

CADE: RIBO!
ROSEY: It's "RHYNO!"
REF: Stupid rookie...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/11.jpg

Stevie couldn't help but sneak a peek.

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RICO: *snarling and chomping*
STACY: Like, ow and stuff. Oh, hey, a sign!
JACKIE: Shit, he's got her finger to the bone...
STACY: "If you can read this, you must not be Stacky." What the hell is Stacky?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/13.jpg

Typical 1950s thinking. In the event of a nuclear attack, if there's no desk to duck and cover under, hide behind the nearest homosexual.

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Kaney Smurf...was not a good idea, Vince.

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Thousands of pre-teen girls in the audience began swooning when they misinterpreted the signal as meaning that "Team Xtreme" was coming back.

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CHRIS: I thought you lost your smile after you got that flesh-eating virus.
SHAWN: Nope.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/17.jpg

BATISTA: *sob*
CHRIS: What is it, Dave?
BATISTA: This is...*sniff* like the third week in a row they've had this same picture up. This can't be helping my credibility.
CHRIS: Aw, buck up, pal. Tell you what. In the next picture, you can be pinning me.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/18.jpg

BATISTA: Thanks, Chris. You're the best. I never did believe all those horrible things Hunter was saying about you to Vince.
CHRIS: Yeah...what?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/19.jpg

Randy Orton: The TRUE Peek-A-Boo Legend.

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BATISTA: Why isn't he calling for the bell?!?
SHAWN: Wrong ref.
BATISTA: And I went to all the trouble of putting a Canadian in a submission hold and everything...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/21.jpg

HHH: Wrestlemania logo?
BATISTA: Check.
HHH: Benoit unconscious?
BATISTA: Check.
HHH: Shawn ready for a Pedigree?
BATISTA: Check.
HHH: All right. So I guess they can go ahead and take the picture now so they don't have to in two weeks.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/22.jpg

RANDY: Um...Hunter?
HHH: Not now, Randy! I'm taunting Benoit!
RANDY: But the glass ce--
HHH: DAMMIT, RANDY!
RANDY: It's starting to lo--
HHH: Well, for the love of--OW! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THE GLASS CEILING WAS STARTING TO LOWER?!?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/23.jpg

RVD: Whoa! That giant talking pile of marshmallows looks like Booker T and Matt Ha--OH, SHIT!

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Unbeknownst to Booker, tonight was the night the referee would forever cement his reputation as the Finger Breaker!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/25.jpg

Mick knew he was screwed when HHH revealed that he, too, had learned to become invisible.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/26.jpg

ROCKBERG: You smellalalalalalalalalala NEXT!
JR: BAH GAWD!
KING: :wtf:
WRESTLING FANS: :rant:

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/27.jpg

ROCK: Shoot this man in the ass!
MICK: Geez, Rock, at least give 'em a challenge...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/28.jpg

HHH: You disappoint me, Mr. Johnson.
ROCK: You can't scare me with this Gestapo crap. I know my rights. I want to use my catchphrases!
HHH: And tell me, Mr. Johnson what good is a catchphrase if you are unable to speak?

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Rocky Dudley debuts his shocking new gimmick when he GETS THE TABLES!

[Rock Bottom]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/01.jpg
Steve Austin had a great idea to play off of the film, "Passion of the Christ," as inspired by Shawn Michaels.

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You see, Steve Austin would play God...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/03.jpg
And Vince McMahon would play Satan.

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However, as soon as Triple H caught wind that someone other than him wanted to play God, he had Austin mowing the lawn.

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Victoria shows us exactly why she is the "Women's Chimp."

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The ref took offense to Teddy's comment that "white men can't jump," and he proceeded to prove him wrong. Up up, and away!

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Austin sadly informed Molly of the clause in her contract saying that Triple H had to hold down her long hair.

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Steven Richards with a flying head chomp out of nowhere!

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Ref: What do you say Hurricane!?
Hurricane: No!
Ref: If you give up, just tap out, five times, five times, five times, five times, dive times.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/10.jpg
Apparently Cade didn't want to move to SmackDown! for a quality pillow.

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Luna Vachon's cover was almost blown, I mean if her skirt went any higher we would all KNOW.

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Barbie was so PISSED to find out that Ken had moved on and fell in love with Repunzel.

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Rico: Ladies... Stay back.
Stacy: What IS that?
Jackie: *Gasp* I think it's Triple H and Stephanie's first born son.

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Kane's night-club gimmick didn't go over too well.

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Triple H: "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." *Begins skipping rocks*

OR

The invisible crucifix finally shows itself!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/16.jpg
HBK: "What?"
Benoit: "Are you the internet MOLE?"
HBK: "Huh?"
Benoit: "What is that catchphrase by The Rock... Know your MOOOOOOOOOLE?"
HBK: "..."
Benoit: "..."
HBK: "..."
Benoit: "..."
HBK: "..."
Benoit: "..."


Benoit: "MOLEYMOLEYMOLEYMOLEYMOLEMOLEMOLEMOLEMOLEYMOLEYMOLEY"

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Benoit was tired of being held down by HHH. It was time to show him how big his penis really was, when he popped a 270 pound woody with arms and legs.

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Batista: "Alright, let's see what we got down here..." *Pulls out a toaster and tosses it*

*Then a broom*

*Then a sink*

*Reaches in deeper* AHA! Got it! *Pulls out Michael's career* Whew.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/19.jpg
Orton: "GUESS WHO MOTHER FUC</>KER. DOESN'T FEEL SO GOOD DOES IT?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/20.jpg
Batista: "Now if only I can get Benoit to fart in HBK's direction, he will put on a good match..."

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Triple H: "Alright Dave, you're up, and make it quick."
Batista: "Dude, I hate sloppy seconds."
Triple H: "Hurry the fuc</>k up if you value your push."
Batista: "Fine!" *Goes digging for new angles*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/22.jpg
Triple H: "YOU HEAR ME MOLLY? NEVER, EVER GROW YOUR HAIR LONGER THAN MINE AGAIN."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/23.jpg
Matt-Man and his side-kick battled The Smoker.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/24.jpg
Booker T: "DID YOU SEE THAT MOVE?"
Ref: "FUC</>K YES." *SLAPS HIM 5*

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Everyone in Evolution was shocked by Triple H's illusion... He wasn't the Wizard of Schnoz afterall... He was just a mean old man!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/26.jpg
How Long's It Been...

Since you shaved?

OR

The one man that could counter Triple H was held down by T&A poses.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/27.jpg
Triple H: "Alright, which one of you fuc</>ks got a bigger pop than me?"

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When Foley said he would sell a punch to the face, he didn't know The Rock meant the one on his shirt.

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Rock does his impression of Goldberg trying to flip the bird.

(I'll do more Rock captions later, as promised)

[Rock Bottom]

I didn't read any captions when I did mine by the way, so sorry if some lines were similar.

[Blue Demon]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/13.jpg

Rico: I guess you can say he was hot..for...you...

[Loose Cannon]

Oh, and since I'm getting to these early for a change, I'm gonna piss Loose Cannon off and...


http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/10.jpg http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/24.jpg
Cade and Booker T: "WHOA!!! Evolution Kool-Aid DOES work!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/21.jpg
Benot paid dearly after he took a sip of Evolution Kool-Aid.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/22.jpg
HHH: "Don't! You! Ever! Drink the Kool-Aid again!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/25.jpg
Foley: "Heh... guys... I... I swear I never.... never took nothing!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/27.jpg
Rock: "This is the man! This is the man who took the Kool-Aid!"
Mick: "You're on my side! You're not supposed to rat me out!"
Rock: "Oh wait, really? Shit. I've been out of this too long."


:lol: :lol: Jackass

[Fryza]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/01.jpg

Austin: Okay, whoever it was who set that paper bag on fire, and wanted to be smart by adding dog shit, I will find you and stun you....

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/02.jpg

Austin came out to announce the cars that still had their lights on during the different FFX2 breaks. The crowd normally got arise from it, unless it was their car.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/03.jpg

McMahon's cover of "Time to play the Game" pleased Hunter so much, he even gave him an explosion, then promptly had the person in the ring job to Hunter.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/04.jpg

Austin (riding the ATV going only two inches): GET OUT OF THE WAY!
Vince: *waves arm in the air and screams*
Austin: MOVE!
Vince: *continues*
Austin: WHAAAAAAT!

The ATV then bumped into McMahon, which prompted text from JR-

JR: BAW GAWD STUNNER

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/05.jpg

Victoria always got giddy when she wore her Zebra pajamas..

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/06.jpg

Teddy: Hey ref, what did the five fingers say to the face?
Ref: What?
Teddy: *slap* Rick James bitch.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/07.jpg

Austin: Hey, ya'know Molly, I can see down your shirt..
Molly: Ewwwww....oh my God, pyscho....

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/08.jpg

Hurricane was a known watch-thief...but right in the middle of the match? C'mon man...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/09.jpg

Due to resistence from WWE employees refuses to become more mat based, the WWE set up "De-Talentizing" officials to break down the men, and make them Hunter Drones.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/10.jpg

Worst. Samoan Drop. Ever.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/11.jpg

Wow, Mae looks a bit younger in that pi....oh...oh....

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/12.jpg

One thing to remember after this picture was taken:

Jackie is like a Howler Monkey. In this picture, she was angered. Rico will be out for the next seven months, and Stacy will more than likely never walk again.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/13.jpg

Jackie was impressed with the size. Rico was angered beyond belief, and wasn't going to let it near the ladies. Stacy had seen bigger....

...What? You guys...Oh, I see..Sicko perverts, I was taking about Kane..

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/14.jpg

Kane was more than angery about those damn Smurfs...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/15.jpg

The Invisible Crucifix makes it's first visible appearence, and sets Sean O'Haire's career ablaze.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/16.jpg

The Ameriadian Vase didn't go over so well, and that was just with the vase.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/17.jpg

Benoit: I....GOT....YOUR NOSE....BITCH....

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/18.jpg

Shawn watched in horror, as Batista made an armchair out of Benoit.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/19.jpg

Suddenly, Orton's eye hold went ary, as he pulled a quarter from behind Chris' ear. Randy's training by Doink the Clown was showing again..

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/20.jpg

Batista: Shawn...Shawn, am I doing this right?
Shawn: No Dave, we went over this a thousand times..you have to use HIS move.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/21.jpg

Dave: Why is the WMXX sign glowing?
Hunter: Excellent...all is falling into plan...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/22.jpg

Hunter: SEE! SEE! It DOES come off! OFF! It REMOVES!
Chris: It's...still...attached to...your hands....
Hunter: *pedigree*
JR: BAW GAWD HE'S BEEN BROKEN IN HALF BY THE CEREBRAL BOOKER!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/23.jpg

RVD soon found out that the Glass Ceiling curves...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/24.jpg

Booker T was smiling high, he was going to win a match in the main event of a RAW, until the Hunter Hearst Referee did the Karate Chopa of Hunterdom, and Hunter nailed the pedigree for the win.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/25.jpg

Rule #27.4: It's one thing to corner a homeless grizzly bear. It's another to corner a homeless grizzly bear with a microphone in hand.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/26.jpg

Rockberg makes his WWE botch...debute....

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/27.jpg

Rocky: Foley....GET THE RATINGS!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/28.jpg

Wow, Will Smith looks old....

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/29.jpg

Oh God...now he's Arsino Hall...for Christ's sake..

[Blue Demon]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/26.jpg

look...I'm tghe Big Boss Man

[AareDub]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/17.jpg

BATISTA: *sob*
CHRIS: What is it, Dave?
BATISTA: This is...*sniff* like the third week in a row they've had this same picture up. This can't be helping my credibility.
CHRIS: Aw, buck up, pal. Tell you what. In the next picture, you can be pinning me.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/18.jpg

BATISTA: Thanks, Chris. You're the best. I never did believe all those horrible things Hunter was saying about you to Vince.
CHRIS: Yeah...what?


:rofl:

[tuk420]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/29.jpg
No, No, No Rock the shocker is supposed to look like this....

http://content.collegehumor.com/bs.com/artwork/realusers/tallgirl.jpg


http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/26.jpg
Here the Rock attempts to revive the old Hollywood Hogan markered on beard angle.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/24.jpg
The ref celebrated Booker T's pin with a enthusiastic slap on the ass. Maybe a little too enthusiastic.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/11.jpg
With a dress like that you need two hair dos.

[Savio]

http://content.collegehumor.com/bs.com/artwork/realusers/tallgirl.jpg
4 seconds later she jobbed to triple h

[Raising Kane]

:lol: good job all

[Savio]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/03.jpg
Vince: Your fired!
Steve: I wouldn't do that!
Vince: and why not?
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/02.jpg
Steve: because in my hand I have the results for tonight!
JR: Tazzmission!
Vince: your bluffing!
Steve:
Victoria & Lita Vs Molly Holly & Jazz
Winner HHH

Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak Vs Hurricane & Rosey
Winner HHH

Randy Orton & Batista Vs Shawn Michaels & Chris Benoit
Winner Evolution with help from triple H

Rob Van Dam & Booker T Vs Matt Hardy & Test
Winner: No contest Triple H has the ring collapse and in the confusion steals the belts.

Vince: Liar! HHH pinned Matt Test RVD and Booker after giving them a pedigree then waiting a minute
Steve: Damn your good.

[Innovator]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/22.jpg
Triple H: "No! You can't die before the Wrestlemania match! Who did this to you???"
Beniot: ....
Triple H: "SPEAK TO ME!!!"
Orton: "What the..."


Did I start a running gag here?

[Penner]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/09.jpg
Cade struggled to get Hurricane's mouth open because the ref thought he could stick both his hands in

[Jeremy Christian]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/13.jpg

What ever happened, they had to protect the red Twizzler.

I'm surprised no one pulled the red twizzler joke tonight. Oh well, ever the opprotunist...

[Nowhere Man]

Okay, I think it's time to show you boys how it's done!

(now watch all of mine suck)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/01.jpg

Austin: And that's why I think Steven Richards is an idiot, a jerk, and needs to be fired!

....

He's standing right behind me, isn't he?

(sorry, Santo. Couldn't resist.)

On a side note, I'm only 1 caption in and I'm already ripping off someone else. This can't be a good sign.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/02.jpg

Austin stopped dead in the middle of his promo as the laser beam shot past him. Apparently, those Imperial Stormtroopers had finally caught up with him for that maneuver he'd pulled back in Mos Eisley.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/03.jpg

You really have to question the ethics of a man who can't even cut a promo without hellfire shooting up behind him.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/04.jpg

Austin reveals himself to be "Willy the Worker" by making every internet smark's dreams come true.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/05.jpg

I must say, Rico's certainly gotten a lot hotter than the last time I saw him.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/06.jpg

The argument between Molly and Jazz was just a diversion for Richards to try and sneak attack Hebner, diving at him from the turnbuckle. Unfortunately, Earl was too wise of a veteran ref to fall for it, and took Richards down with a vicious midair eye-poke.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/07.jpg

Molly: so anyways, that's why I really appreciate this title feud.
Austin: No problem. A girl like you deserves only the very breast--err,
Molly:What??
Austin: Nothing, I was just saying that even though you're a heel, I'd much rather cheer you than try and boob--I mean
Molly: Hey!!!
Austin: What I meant to say was that you're one of the best women in the WWE, and the fact that you haven't been pushed iis a real titty--umm, I mean, ummm---CLEAVAGE! No, I mean
Molly:*smack*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/08.jpg

Much like certain species of turtle, the North American Jobber can often pull its head deep within its shell to avoid danger or de-pushing.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/09.jpg

Cade: I said, spit out that gum! SPIT IT OUT!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/10.jpg

Cade did his damndest to cover up the blown spot, but deep down, he'd known from the start that Rosey trying a flying headscissors was a bad idea.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/11.jpg

Much to the disgust of fans everywhere, a sudden gust of wind reveals Jckie's horrible, horrible secret.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/12.jpg

That Hugh Jackman....Such a charmer. Even if he does have a stupid costume, I still--oh, that's Rico. Nevermind.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/13.jpg

Rico bravely protected the girls from the Coming of Satan unto the world. Despite the mind-numbing horror of coming face to face with the incarnation of evil itself, he couldn't help but be surprised the Evolution song wasn't playing.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/14.jpg

Kane's induction to the Blue Man Group wasn't exactly the best. Still, it was better than that stint in Cirque du Soleil.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/15.jpg

With WCW and ECW gone, Vince needed another group to have a god inter-promotional feud. With that, the Ku Klux Klan InVasion was on!!!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/16.jpg

HBK: Look, Bret, I know you're probably still upset about the whole--
Benoit: My name's not Bret. It's Chris.
HBK: Oh! Well, I like the new hair color! Looks better than when I beat you last year!
Benoit: Wrong Chris.
HBK: Jeez, how many of you guys are there?!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/17.jpg

Benoit: Dammit, Dave! I'm asking you one more time! LET GO OF MY CROTCH!
Batista: Mmmmph phmmmmph mmmfph mmmm!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/18.jpg

In one of the most stunning reversals of all time, Batista managed to escape the Crossface, hoist Benoit into the air, and give him a Chokeslam that knocked him out cold. All without the hand ever leaving Benoit's crotch!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/19.jpg

The submission was painful enough, but what really did Benoit in was that Randy had taped next month's scripts onto his palms.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/20.jpg

Shawn only looks on in dismay as Benoit completely botches the West Coast Pop.

HBK: Man, how in the hell did you ever become the internet fanboys' darling?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/21.jpg

HBK and HHH decide to actually live up to their claim of being backstage leaders, and begin showing live instructions on "How to Get a Push."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/22.jpg

Dave was depressed that all the attention was going to Hunter and Benoit, and nobody wanted to see him do the Baby Elephant Walk anymore.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/23.jpg

Booker, Rob, and Matt's three-man trapeze act ends in tragedy.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/24.jpg

It became a little too obvious that Booker was paying the ref to give him the win. I mean, they just couldn't stop high-fiving each other during the damn match.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/25.jpg

Mick knew he could easily take Orton, Flair, and maybe even Batista, but with Larry the cameraman joining Evolution's ranks, he was starting to get a little worried.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/26.jpg

Rocky wasn't fooling anyone with his disguise. Everyone knew he wasn't the real Goldberg.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/27.jpg

The Rock debuts his new gimmick, the People's Point-Out-the-Only-Reason-Randy-Orton-has-any-Heat-er.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/28.jpg

Mick: Hey, Rock, who's that guy over there selling the cotton candy?
Rock: Where? I don't see him.
Mick: Right over there, the one with the crazy-looking mask.
Rock: Oh, I see him now. Damn, what the hell has been going on since the last time I was here?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/29.jpg

The Rock just couldn't Lay the Smackdown like he used to, after that horrible accident in wood shop.

[FourFifty]

Stop! Caption time!
All jokes are considered mine, unless they’re a running joke.


<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/01.jpg>
Steve Austin action figure, now with extended mic time and Judo chop!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/02.jpg>
Steve: Now listen here, we all know what you want, and we won’t let HIM out of his cage!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/03.jpg><img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/04.jpg>
Note to self: Never call Austin a homo….

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/05.jpg>
To extract some revenge on the World Wildlife Fund, one out of every three wrestlers shall wear animal skin.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/06.jpg>
Pre-match tensions mounted as Teddy Long and Jazz were about to wrestle Molly Holly and Earl Hebner.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/07.jpg>
Austin: Molly, get closer to me… ;)
Molly: Steve… I don’t know what to say… I mean… Do you feel the same way? :drool:
Austin: I always have, always will…. :heart:
Molly: Oh Steve! I love you!!!! :love:
Austin: You think that highly of me for trying to take the new guy out of this shot? :wtf:
Molly: :|


<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/08.jpg>
The new Superhero Head Eater gimmick didn’t go over that great.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/09.jpg>
Ref: Oh man! I know who you are! You’re that guy from Three Count! Yeah! “We like the Backstreet Boys, and N’Sync too!” I love all your songs!
Hurricane: And I didn’t get cut on the originals CD!
Ref: Impossible!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/10.jpg>
All I can think is “botched weggie”

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/11.jpg>
That bastard! Now Stevie Richards tries to lift up skirts!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/12.jpg>
The love child of HBK and The Warrior was one smooth playa with the ladies.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/13.jpg>
Stacy: Shouldn’t we go help him!?!?! I mean, he’s on fire!
Jackie: I know! He is bad, but still, does he deserve this?
Rico: I had the gay gimmick, and I’m stuck with this flamboyant metrosexual bit! Let Triple H burn!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/14.jpg>
Kane: Okay… no good jokes can be made while I’m in the blue lighting…. They can’t make fun of… Hey… is that something shiny in the crowd?

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/15.jpg>
The midcarders rejoice! They have lit the invisible crucifix on fire!

[FourFifty]

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/16.jpg>
HBK: Okay Bret, we know how we’re gonna run through the match, right? Nice and clean, no screw jobs… I have nothing to do with anything that Vince will do, okay?
Chris: But my name isn’t Bret.
HBK: It isn’t? Woah! I’m having flashbacks!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/17.jpg>
Shades of the Beniot/Jericho team with Beniot and “Lion Heart” Stevie Richards.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/18.jpg>
Ref: Okay Earl, watch! No one is tapping, I’m not calling for the bell!
Earl: At least people know my name!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/19.jpg>
Beniot: OH MY GOD!!! HOW CAN THIS BE!!!!
Randy: Yeah! My crossface is cool, isn’t it!
Beniot: YOU’RE BOTCHING MY MOVE!!!!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/20.jpg>
Needless to say Shawn is confused… Where’s the bell?

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/21.jpg>
Triple H even no sells a headbutt to the balls.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/22.jpg>
Triple H: You see this! This is the closest you will ever get to talent again, Belty!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/23.jpg>
RVD: Oh no! My jetpack! It isn’t working!!!
Booker T: Sucka, what were you doing before our match?
RVD: Dude… same thing as I do before every match... Try to take over the world!
Booker T: And Light up?
RVD: Oh, dude, that too.

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/24.jpg>
I understand he has arachnophobia, but that’s not a spider…

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/25.jpg>
Foley could keep Evolution at bay with his remediation of “Bandstand Boogie.”

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/26.jpg>
Rock: Okay, I’m on TV, that means I get to be in the next series of WWE Video Games, I’m back off to Hollywood!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/27.jpg>
Rock: Shoot this roody poo in the candy ass!
Foley: I think you’ve been away from the ring for too long…

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/28.jpg>
That right! No one could believe the news! It would be Randy Orton, Batista, and Ric Flair VS Mick Foley and a newly buffed up and steroid pumping Coachman!

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/29.jpg>
So Rock, how many matches will you wrestle in the next 5 years?

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/03.jpg>
Never, ever, ever light a match behind Vince McMachon after he had some Baja Grill!

[El Santo]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/01.jpg
Steve Austin IS the Drunk Punisher.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/02.jpg
You know that Stone Cold's lost all passion for the business when he doesn't even try to hide his cue cards.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/03.jpg
After shooting fire out of his ass, Vince proved that nobody ... but NOBODY ... played a better "pull my finger".

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/04.jpg
In a shocking heel swerve, Steve Austin runs over James Bond!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/05.jpg
And tonight, the role of Victoria will be played by Sandra Bullock.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/06.jpg
Everyone in the ring froze as Hebner frantically announced the arrival of Godzilla.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/07.jpg
SCSA: "I need your honest opinion, Molly.... Does the guy behind me look like the unholy love child of Rico and Steven Richards or what?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/08.jpg
Hurricane knew someone had to nip the Chuck & Billy 2K4 gimmick in the bud.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/09.jpg
Cade: "Now let's see who you REALLY are under the mask!"
Hurricane: "AUGGGHHH! The chin is real, you asshole!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/10.jpg
Garrison thought he had the match won, but he hadn't counted on Rosey's viscious counterattack: the Silent But Deadly.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/11.jpg
On a similar note, Jackie just knew she shouldn't have had those burritos before coming out to the ring.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/12.jpg
When Rico was finally forced to choose between two beautiful women, he decided he could no longer deny the geek within. He was always a sucker for Princess Leia impersonators.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/13.jpg
Stacy: "The ring is on fire!"
Jackie: "Oh, my! Who will save us?"
Rico: "Stand back, ladies! This looks like a job for ... RICOMAN!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/14.jpg
Glenn Jacobs IS Mr. Freeze.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/15.jpg
In a chilling dramatization with a poorly contructed dummy, Brock warns that anyone caught on the internet will be burned at the stake.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/16.jpg
Benoit tries to best to ignore the weird mildew infestation growing on HBK's neck.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/17.jpg
When he moved to RAW, Benoit never figured that, week in a week out, Evolution members would be thrusting their hands in his crotch. He always figured it would be vice versa...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/18.jpg
.... But, dammit all, it was just a ruse to steal his wallet.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/19.jpg
You're never too old to have fun playing peek-a-boo.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/20.jpg
In a really bizarre plot development, HBK turns on Benoit by firing a flaming spitwad at his crotch.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/21.jpg
Benoit should have known better. All the midcarders backstage warned him: Don't believe Trips when he tells you there's a shiny quarter on the mat.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/22.jpg
Things looked bad for Benoit until Midget Orton dived in to save the day.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/23.jpg
Booker T has his match with Matt Hardy well in hand when suddenly ... it began raining midcarders.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/24.jpg
Booker T would have won the match, but the Ref was having too much fun doing cartwheels.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/25.jpg
After Flair brought in the two dancing Chippendales, Mick knew that his chances of winning the staring contest were doomed.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/26.jpg
"Rock? Who is this 'Rock' you speak of of? I am ... Guy Incognito."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/27.jpg
Looking to derail Randy's gimmick as a "Legend Killer", Rock pulls a gun out on Mick.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/28.jpg
Later that night, security mistook Rock and Foley for two drunk truckers and tried to clear them out of the ring.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/29.jpg

"And this ... this my favorite one, if you smell what the Rock's cookin'... THIS little piggy had ROAST BEEF..."

[FourFifty]

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/16.jpg>
Still trying to keep Beniot down, Triple H tries to convince the editing crew to white out Beniot from the show. Too bad they only got part of the back.

[Corkscrewed]

Man, it's amazing how many times people used other people's jokes... mainly mine. :p

[Kane Knight]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/01.jpg

Why do birds suddenly appear...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/02.jpg

...Every time you are near...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/03.jpg

...Just like me...They long to be...

Close to yoooooooooooooooooooooou...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/05.jpg

Stevie Richards decides that even a drag queen gimmick will get him over better than the "invisible man" schtick.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/06.jpg

The referee disqualifies Molly's opponent for too much "junk in the trunk."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/07.jpg

Austin: You wanna ditch Eric and go out with a REAL man?

Molly: Didn't your wife beat you up?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/08.jpg

Jeffrey Dalhmer's debut match went afoul when he suddenly got "hungry."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/09.jpg

The Hurricane learned a valuable lesson: Never make eyes at Clinton's intern...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/10.jpg

Bill gets the rollup on Monica.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/13.jpg

Rico always knew that the gateway to Hell was hidden in Vince's breast pocket...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/14.jpg

Jacobs: And this one's from my blue period.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/15.jpg

Triple H was furious that anyone's symbol was bigger than his.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/17.jpg

Benoit's new "hardcore" image picked up with a game of "Extreme Got Your Nose."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/19.jpg

Orton tortured Benoit by forcing his eye open as Batista reenacted the Triple H/Steph wedding night...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/21.jpg

...Only to finish the horror by making Chris join in...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/25.jpg

Reverend Foley proudly announced Flair and Orton man and wife, as Batista gloated, confident as to who the real "best man" was.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/26.jpg

The debut of the Rock and Mick Foley's illegitimate lovechild.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/27.jpg

"...But my husband here...He LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVES the cock."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/28.jpg

Rocky was appalled by allegations that he had beaten his loving wife, Mrs. Foley.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/29.jpg

The Rock tells curious fans just how many years he's been trying to grow a beard.

[Blue Demon]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/29.jpg

Judge: How many syllables does antiestablishmentarianism have?

Rock: duh....

[Innovator]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/01.jpg

Steve-O Austin attempts to do what no other man has done before...get more airtime than HHH

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/02.jpg

Austin: RHYNO! BEER ME!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/03.jpg

"Vince McMahon is 7 feet tall."
"Ay I've heard, if he were here, he'd consume the midcarders with fireballs on his eyes, and bolts on lightning from his arse."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/05.jpg

The new "queer eye for the wrestling guy" debuts with Stevie getting a radical makeover.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/06.jpg

Molly: I'm uglier!
Jazz: NO I AM!
Ref: Its just a thriller...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/07.jpg

Austin: Hey Molly how ya doing?
Molly: Steve?
Austin: Good match out there huh
Molly: Steve my eyes are up here!
Austin: I've made my choice

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/12.jpg

Wolverine, always the sly one

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/13.jpg

Stacy: oh my god!
Jackie: It's horrible
Rico: Why didn't Trips and HBK use nightvision like everyone else...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/14.jpg

If I stand still enough, HHH won't notice I'm still in the ring.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/15.jpg

HHH: Hey Godwinn, remember that pig pen match?
Godwinn (on cross): oh yeah that was a good time
HHH: Yeah....well now BURN FOR IT!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/17.jpg

Benoit: Oh you don't like it now huh! YEAH DAVE HEAR THAT FUC</>KING OCEAN!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/20.jpg

Batista: IS THIS RIGHT SHAWN?!?!?!?!
HBK: No you need to have both his legs, cross them and lean back
Batista: ....HOW ABOUT NOW?!?!?!
HBK: Dave you ok? you have more roid rage than usual..
Batista: ARGHARKGDSGKHSDRG

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/21.jpg

HBK: Forgive me father for I have sinned...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/25.jpg

Foley: C'mon sing along....you can dance when you want to....you can leave your friends behind

[Kane Knight]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/13.jpg

Satan reveals that Rico was now his in exchange for the recent airtime.

JR suddenly undersatnds the mystery...

[Savio]

Man, it's amazing how many times people used other people's jokes... mainly mine. :p

[Kane Knight]

In fairness, I doubt anyone actually READ your captions. :p

[Corkscrewed]

Dammit! That deja vu is coming back!!!

[Ian]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/03.jpg


You've lost that loving feeling, woah that loving feeling,

[Kane Knight]

Dammit! That deja vu is coming back!!!

[Corkscrewed]

<-- Going crazy.

[Nowhere Man]

My head hurts.

Anyways, my captions kinda blew this week. I'll try to make up for it with the SD ones, though.

[BigDaddyCool]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/24.jpg
Booker T: Yeah Ref, I'm winnin'! High Five!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/03.jpg
Vince was so angery that his colon shot out molten lava deep from the Earth's crust onto a screen behind, all while accussing the man infront of him of being homosexual.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/28.jpg
Nothing, but nothing stops a hobo fight faster than a rat running by with a pizza crust in his mouth.

[FourFifty]

Man, it's amazing how many times people used other people's jokes... mainly mine. :p


When you're that good, you can expect to be coppied.

[Nowhere Man]

Like how nearly every caption in the past year or so has been a ripoff of something Lammy did....

...mainly most of mine :naughty:

[Loose Cannon]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/01.jpg
Austin: We regret to inform you that Sean O'Haire's weekly entertainment show will not be shown tonight due to trouble transporting his cage to the arena.


http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/02.jpg
Austin: Oh Look, he made it.



http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/03.jpg
Vince does "Eanie Meanie Minie Moe" to see who's next in line for the "Push for 60 Days" Coupon





http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/04.jpg
Vince: No wait, not yet Steve.
Steve: You gave me the go ahead sign
Vince: I thought that was Matt coming out of the bathroom, but it wasn't.



http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/06.jpg
Ref: You, Suicide Plancha Now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/07.jpg
Austin: Does this look like an autograph sesion to you.
Molly: But Steve, I work here.
Austin: Really.



http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/09.jpg
Ref (in zombie voice): Drink the Koolaid
Cade: Hurry Up
Hurricane: S.H.I.T.



http://www.tpww.net/forums/showthread.php?t=6899
Cade knew to be as hidden as possible to make sure Vince never saw him getting a pinfall.



http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/11.jpg
Ring Announcer: Um Jackie, this ain't your segment
Jackie: Oh really.


http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/13.jpg
Would someone please show Goldberg how to properly use the toaster oven


http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/15.jpg
Wrestlers resort to extreme measures now and days to get out of being burried by HHH.


http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/16.jpg
Benoit: So I see you and Hunter have been playing doctor again.
HBK: Very funny Chris.


http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/17.jpg
Chris: Dave reverse this into a Dragon Sleeper.


http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/18.jpg
Dave: Like this Chris.
Chris: 2 more weeks, 2 more weeks, 2 more weeks.


http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/19.jpg
Things went a little too far when Orton tried to inject some Evolution Koolaid in Benoit's eyes.


http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/20.jpg
Dave: OMG look, a Texas Cloverleaf!!!!!!!!!!
HBK: Not quite Dave.


http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/21.jpg
Hunter now poses for snapshots for 5 mintues before delivering pedigrees to his opponents.


http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/22.jpg
Every so often, Hunter had to remind the superstars that the title really can come off him.


http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/26.jpg
Rock: Wait, wasn't I suppossed to be doing Leno tonight.


http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/27.jpg
Rock is such a nice guy, he even invited the homeless to take part in the festivities.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/28.jpg
Rock: So I know that's Flair, but who are the other two.
Foley: Oh Boy.

[Innovator]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/06.jpg
Ref: SABU!!!!!

[Corkscrewed]

Like how nearly every caption in the past year or so has been a ripoff of something Lammy did....

...mainly most of mine :naughty:

Actually, mainly EVERYONE. Rhyno's crazy glue, for example, was his and basically has been going on for over a year it seems.

[loopydate]

I just realized something.

Shouldn't this be "RAW Captions (3/2/04)"?

[Nowhere Man]

Actually, mainly EVERYONE. Rhyno's crazy glue, for example, was his and basically has been going on for over a year it seems.

Actually, now that I think about it, just about every running gag we've had up till the "Sean O'Haire in the cage" bit can be attributed to Lammy. Let's see, there was:

-Chris Benoit Levitating
-All the Glass Ceiling puns (started from one he did of Kidman)
-Steven Richards being the invisible man
-Teddy's "Shoot this man in the ass" bit
-Rhyno's crazy-glue bit
-Jerry Lynn's invisible jetpack
-D'Lo's invisible hang glider
-Eddie's "point at your knees!"

and I'm sure I missed a few. Except for the whole thing with God sitting in the audience (that one was from me :cool: ), just about every mainstay in the captions is based off a year-old Lammy caption. Although I think the "You're a Homo" thing was started way back when, when Gristleizer was the head honcho around here (and when 91 was still around... :'( )

We're so original.

[Corkscrewed]

It's our subtle way of saying...

LAMMY COME BACK!!!

[Azriel]

I just realized something.

Shouldn't this be "RAW Captions (3/2/04)"?

D'OH! Thanks Loopy. Fixed it.

[SuperSlim]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/16.jpg
Benoit: Ever since you came back your career has been at a complete stand still. Now it's startin to affect ya. Look you got stuff growin on your neck.

[Loose Cannon]

Actually, now that I think about it, just about every running gag we've had up till the "Sean O'Haire in the cage" bit can be attributed to Lammy. Let's see, there was:

-Chris Benoit Levitating
-All the Glass Ceiling puns (started from one he did of Kidman)
-Steven Richards being the invisible man
-Teddy's "Shoot this man in the ass" bit
-Rhyno's crazy-glue bit
-Jerry Lynn's invisible jetpack
-D'Lo's invisible hang glider
-Eddie's "point at your knees!"

and I'm sure I missed a few. Except for the whole thing with God sitting in the audience (that one was from me :cool: ), just about every mainstay in the captions is based off a year-old Lammy caption. Although I think the "You're a Homo" thing was started way back when, when Gristleizer was the head honcho around here (and when 91 was still around... :'( )

We're so original.


No wonder I never understood any of those captions. And I still don't.

[loopydate]

There are recent running gags, though:

*The invisible crucifix
*Sean O'Haire's cage
*The mystery assassin
*Um...okay, I can't think of any more, but I'm sure more exist!

[Corkscrewed]

That still means half of the running gags come from one man.

[Showstopper]

how do you do these?

[loopydate]

how do you do these?

(Note, any instance of [s and ]s for the rest of this post, turn them the opposite way)

You find the URL for the pictures on WWE.com, then you set up like this:
===========================
]IMG[URL of picture]/IMG[

Write your caption below it
===========================
Hope that helps, Showstopper.

[El Santo]

I think Cork started the grappling hook one. Or am I wrong here?

[Nowhere Man]

Nope. I'm almost positive that was another Lammy.

[FourFifty]

<img src=http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/07.jpg>
Steve: Were you Gorgeous George, weren’t you?
Molly: Don’t pigeon hone me. Yes, I was Gorgeous George, yes, I was part of the RTC, yes I “got a push” from Vince McMachon.
Steve: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh yeah!
Molly: What are you doing?
Steve: Oh, I’m sneaking a peek at your maguppies. It’s my stumbling attempt at intimacy.
Blaze: I don’t think anyone will get a reference…
Always450: Quiet you!

[Corkscrewed]

Nope. I'm almost positive that was another Lammy.

That is true.

[Azriel]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/14.jpg
WWE's version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was only met by blank stares

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/16.jpg
Shawn: Hey Chris, ever had that dream where you're back in school and you're naked?
Chris: *looks down* Uhh...Shawn?
Both: AHHHH!

I hope this one isn't offensive
http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/15.jpg
Everyone had to admit, the KKK were really getting creative now.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/13.jpg
Tired of the senseless T and A angles being shown on TV, the WWE set started to self-destruct

[Azriel]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/030104/images/03.jpg
Vince delivers the dreaded finger poke of doom to Steven Richards