View Full Version : IWC Rulebook
Rule #1: Every wrestler, promotion, booker and announcer is to either be overrated or underrated.
Continue.
What Would Kevin Do?
11-03-2007, 11:40 PM
Rule#2: Perceived quality is directly influenced by the number of people watching it.
Kane Knight
11-03-2007, 11:43 PM
Rule #3: It's always Vince's fault.
(This could be McMahon, or Russo, it doesn't really matter).
The One
11-03-2007, 11:50 PM
Rule#2: Perceived quality is directly influenced by the number of people watching it.
Yeah, the more people that see it, the worse it obviously is...
Rule #4: Anybody under 250 lbs must be great.
Crossrine
11-04-2007, 12:07 AM
Rule #5: Never give a jobber the mic
First rule of the IWC, dont talk about the IWC
The One
11-04-2007, 12:11 AM
Crossrine, that would be more along the common laws of the promotions, the IWC usually cries for more mic time for worthless talent.
Rule #6: Every new guy must be either the future or worthless.
Mercury Bullet
11-04-2007, 12:14 AM
Rule #7: If a lower-carder has been with a promotion over 7 years and never amounted to anything, it is because he was held down and could have been the best ever.
Mercury Bullet
11-04-2007, 12:16 AM
Rule #8: You must take a side regarding Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart. Indifference is not an option.
Rule #8 - Addendum: And you must bring up your stance at any issue or mention of Michaels, Hart, DX, Hart Foundation, Sharpshooter, Montreal, Survivor Series, Canada, Canada Sucks, Canada Rocks, etc...
The One
11-04-2007, 12:19 AM
Rule #9: Someone being a complete and utter asshole backstage is only a bad thing if you don't like them in-ring.
The One
11-04-2007, 12:20 AM
Rule #10: You must know the backstage politics and the atmosphere better than those who actually live it.
FourFifty
11-04-2007, 12:35 AM
Rule 11- It is possible to book a company without thinking about payroll, egos, or logic. Arm chair booking works.
The One
11-04-2007, 12:40 AM
Rule #12: Whoever is Champion needs to drop the belt at the next PPV
The One
11-04-2007, 12:50 AM
Rule #12 Addendum: But after current guy drops the belt, the next guy should have a couple month run...
Shadow
11-04-2007, 01:03 AM
Rule 13: Vince owns everything.
Londoner
11-04-2007, 01:13 AM
Rule 14: Jericho is God.
Funky Fly
11-04-2007, 01:53 AM
Rule 15: ROH > puroresu >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> *
Nark Order
11-04-2007, 02:12 AM
Rule 16: Saying your name twice in succession qualifies as having godly mic skills.
Nark Order
11-04-2007, 02:15 AM
Rule 17: A man killing his family in real life generates no heat since it was not a part of a storyline.
Corkscrewed
11-04-2007, 03:04 AM
Rule 17 Addendum: said dead bodies also generate no heat... mostly because they're dead.
Corkscrewed
11-04-2007, 03:04 AM
(that was my KK-esque post of the year)
El Fangel
11-04-2007, 03:12 AM
Rule #18 - Never mention a certain date around Kane, You may be subject to the worst 2 hours of your life.
RVDmark
11-04-2007, 07:16 AM
Rule #19 It wasn't Snitsky's fault.
Chavo Classic
11-04-2007, 07:19 AM
Rule #20: Anyone holding the belt for more than 6 months is the new Hulk Hogan
El Fangel
11-04-2007, 07:28 AM
Rule #19 It wasn't Snitsky's fault.
See Rule#3
Kane Knight
11-04-2007, 07:31 AM
Rule 21: The dirt sheets are always right, regardless of the evidence to the contrary, so long as they say what I want to hear.
El Fangel
11-04-2007, 07:34 AM
Rule 22: Cena wins
Chavo Classic
11-04-2007, 07:45 AM
Rule 23: Thou shall be sent to OVW before debuting if signed from the indies, regardless of talent or popularity
El Fangel
11-04-2007, 07:46 AM
Rule 23b: Then thou that are talented shall be sent to heat, and disappear into obscurity.
Rule #24: The business can ONLY be saved by The Rock or Chris Jericho.
Outsider
11-04-2007, 11:29 AM
Rule #25: The WWE should listen to the small number of fans who make up the IWC, not the majority of fans who do not.
Rule #26: It's fine to watch PPVs on the internet. This is no way harms the companies involved.
BigDaddyCool
11-04-2007, 11:31 AM
Rule #27: The more obscure and unknown a promotion is inversely proportionate to how much better they are than WWE. (For example, no one has heard of RoH, therefore thay are infinitely better than WWE.)
ron the dial
11-04-2007, 11:31 AM
Rule #24: The business can ONLY be saved by The Rock or Chris Jericho.
You're obviously forgetting Kevin Nash. He just doesn't feel like saving it right now :roll:
The One
11-04-2007, 11:31 AM
Rule #28: Anybody who was good in smaller promotions who isn't instantly received as a god in WWE is been held back, told to change their style, or being forcibly watered down.
BigDaddyCool
11-04-2007, 11:34 AM
Rule #29: If they are from Canada or Japan they are instantly awesome.
El Fangel
11-04-2007, 11:35 AM
Rule #30: The wellness policy consist of 3 strikes, and no balls.
Rule #31: One or two losses after a debut streak is considered a burial.
El Fangel
11-04-2007, 11:36 AM
Rule #32: Weak Looking Finishers Hurt 2x
Kane Knight
11-04-2007, 11:59 AM
Rule #33: The IWC is simultaneously small and insignificant, yet substantial enough to ruin the business.
Rule #34: If a wrestler you have promoted for years fails to live up to your hype, it's WWE's fault.
34A: This applies even if he's not in in WWE.
Rule #35: Only one black wrestler will ever win the WWE Championship.
35A: The Rock doesn't count.
35B: John Cena does.
El Fangel
11-04-2007, 12:09 PM
Booker T?
El Fangel
11-04-2007, 12:10 PM
Rule 36: Anything said on IWC is right.
What Would Kevin Do?
11-04-2007, 12:10 PM
Rule #27: The more obscure and unknown a promotion is inversely proportionate to how much better they are than WWE. (For example, no one has heard of RoH, therefore thay are infinitely better than WWE.)
That's what I was going for with #2. The less known/watched a promotion correlates with how good it's perceived to be.
Booker T?
He never won the WWE championship, just the WCW/WH Championships.
Rule #37: It's "Stay in the Back"!
El Fangel
11-04-2007, 12:14 PM
He never won the WWE championship, just the WCW/WH Championships.
I thought it said a not the.
Rule #38: Sids shitty pants will always be debated.
Rule #39: No one ever retires. EVER. Even if they die.
39A: Unless it's that Chris Ben-who guy...
The One
11-04-2007, 12:30 PM
He never won the WWE championship, just the WCW<s>/WH</s> Championship<s>s</s>.
Man, a lot of people have been talking about a lot of titles that never were today...
El Fangel
11-04-2007, 12:37 PM
Rule 40: Jericho won the WWF Title.
The One
11-04-2007, 12:42 PM
I understand the debateable first time, and obviously the second time, but when did Jericho win it a third time???
Kane Knight
11-04-2007, 12:49 PM
Rule #41: If more than three people say it, it's automatically true.
Kane Knight
11-04-2007, 12:51 PM
Rule #42: Death immortalises everyone as great, except He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
Kane Knight
11-04-2007, 12:52 PM
By which I mean Rick Rude.
I understand the debateable first time, and obviously the second time, but when did Jericho win it a third time???
IF you count the Undisputed championship as the WWE championship (since it was the only title in WWE for some time and the WWE championship history includes it) it's three - vs. Hunter and twice at Vengeance - once for the WWE championship itself and once for the Undisputed championship.
El Fangel
11-04-2007, 12:53 PM
Benoit?
KingofOldSchool
11-04-2007, 01:05 PM
Rule #43: Since big men can't fly through the air, they are automatically deemed worthless.
Inadequacy
11-04-2007, 01:11 PM
Rule #44: If you don't have anything intelligent to add to a conversation, say the first thing you can think of
44b: If you do have something intelligent to add, "get the 'F' out"
El Fangel
11-04-2007, 01:12 PM
Inad, Whats up dawg. We both got new rep dots. :)
Rule 45: IWC hates the Horde (Trolls)
El Fangel
11-04-2007, 01:14 PM
BTW, Get on Msn.
Kane Knight
11-04-2007, 01:14 PM
Rule #43: Since big men can't fly through the air, they are automatically deemed worthless.
Corrolary: The smaller a wrestler, the more capable he is.
BigDaddyCool
11-04-2007, 02:02 PM
Corrolary: The smaller a wrestler, the more capable he is.
Until we reach midget size, then they go back to being worthless or raping the name of a dead mexican.
El Fangel
11-04-2007, 02:04 PM
I was just about to say, you guys are saying Rey rocks?
BigDaddyCool
11-04-2007, 02:06 PM
I was just about to say, you guys are saying Rey rocks?
No he is a worthless midget that can only be used in a comedy act or gay the name of a dead mexican.
The One
11-04-2007, 02:08 PM
Rey is the man.
Kane Knight
11-04-2007, 02:17 PM
I was just about to say, you guys are saying Rey rocks? No, he's a child. Women and children don't count against the rule.
You might have seen him on TV. He used to wear black face and was called "Webster."
FourFifty
11-04-2007, 03:31 PM
Rule 46- Wrestling is never cool when it's going on. If you watch wrestling right now what you're watching will be cool in five years.
Kane Knight
11-04-2007, 05:17 PM
Rule #47: It's always excusable when the guy you like does drugs or something similarly problematic, even if you have railed against drugs (Or other behaviour) in other wrestlers. You may turn a blind eye to the inadequacies of whoever you choose to advocate.
Kane Knight
11-04-2007, 05:19 PM
Rule #48: The bigger an asshole a wrestler is, the more over he is with the IWC. For exceptions to this rule, see the "Bobcore" Clause (Also known as X-Pac vs GET THE FUCK OFF MY SCREEN!)
BigDaddyCool
11-04-2007, 05:35 PM
Rule #48: The bigger an asshole a wrestler is, the more over he is with the IWC. For exceptions to this rule, see the "Bobcore" Clause (Also known as X-Pac vs GET THE FUCK OFF MY SCREEN!)
I like Bobcore. :'(
El Fangel
11-04-2007, 06:20 PM
Where is Hardcore Holly anyways?
Rule #42: Death immortalises everyone as great, except He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
Voldemort?
Where is Hardcore Holly anyways?
Raw...he's in a feud, though since I tune into Heroes when his music comes on, I can't quite remember who.
addy2hotty
11-04-2007, 06:32 PM
49. CM Punk gets the biggest pops in wrestling histroy.
50. Bandwagon jumping is encouraged. This mainly works with 'below glass ceiling' wrestlers and untalented jackasses who were 'big in the indies'.
addy2hotty
11-04-2007, 06:37 PM
52. Arm draaaaaaaaag
FourFifty
11-04-2007, 07:40 PM
Rule #47: It's always excusable when the guy you like does drugs or something similarly problematic, even if you have railed against drugs (Or other behaviour) in other wrestlers. You may turn a blind eye to the inadequacies of whoever you choose to advocate.
That tends to go beyond the IWC, and into real life :|
Rule #53: If Triple H wins, he booked it.
Rule #54: If Cena wins, we'll bitch and moan but won't riot.
94 SVT Cobra
11-05-2007, 12:22 AM
Rule #54: Shit was bad when cena wasnt around, but boy did it REALLY start to suck when he got super big.
Dave Youell
11-05-2007, 08:08 AM
#55
Claim that last nights Raw/Smackdown was terrible and you’re never going to watch it again.
Rinse and repeat the following week
Kane Knight
11-05-2007, 09:32 AM
#55
Claim that last nights Raw/Smackdown was terrible and you’re never going to watch it again.
Rinse and repeat the following week
55A: Claiming that last night's PPV was the worst ever and WWE won't get any more of your money, just like last month. Not really worth a new rule, so...
FourFifty
11-05-2007, 10:42 AM
Rule 56- It's Soma Joe, not Samoa Joe.
El Fangel
11-05-2007, 11:27 AM
Rule 56a: Its Jewmonga not JEWMAGA
The One
11-05-2007, 11:35 AM
Rule #57: "They were better as a heel."
El Fangel
11-05-2007, 11:40 AM
Rule #58: Cena should turn heel, and walk away.
Theo Dious
11-05-2007, 12:51 PM
Rule 59: The best threads happen when Darth Tedious is away from the damn boards! :mad:
I mean...
Rule 59: It is entirely impossible to put someone over without jobbing to them. Especially if your name is HHH or the Undertaker.
Kane Knight
11-05-2007, 01:00 PM
Rule 60: My plans to save wrestling are brilliant and flawless and cannot be questioned.
94 SVT Cobra
11-05-2007, 01:02 PM
rule 61: If a guy passes through ROH, and is headed to WWE, that guy is the one who is going to totally change the face of wrestling and save WWE.
94 SVT Cobra
11-05-2007, 01:03 PM
rule 62: if you dont watch TNA you are just "allowing vinces strangle hold on wrestling" to continue
Rule 63: if you watched TNA and didnt like it, its because vince has ruined your perception of good wrestling.
#64 - Should WWE change any aspect of a popular character from somewhere else, it's an outrage and Vince is pissed off because he didn't create him.
Kane Knight
11-05-2007, 01:28 PM
Rule 65: That guy can never go anywhere, despite the fact that even Steve Austin, the Rock, and Triple H had some pretty gay ass gimmicks in their life. He's a midcarder for life because it's impossible to take someone who was once in a joke gimmick seriously. See Venis, Val for more information.
Impeccable
11-05-2007, 01:33 PM
#66 - Matt Boone is a worthless cunt.
Savio
11-05-2007, 01:49 PM
Rule # 67 Everyone can write better then the writing team
The One
11-05-2007, 01:53 PM
Rule #68: It is never ok to enjoy anything that has to do with women in pro wrestling.
The One
11-05-2007, 01:57 PM
Rule #69: There is a direct relation to how old something is to how great it is. (Please note: No ladder match, cage match or even a regular match can be great unless it is at least 5 years old, and then stretching back from there they just keep getting better and better...)
Savio
11-05-2007, 02:13 PM
Rule 70: No matter what we say HHH and Cena win no matter what except against Hulk Hogan who beats all
94 SVT Cobra
11-05-2007, 02:30 PM
rule number 71: Jeff hardy was never a spot monkey, he was a "high flyer" (Works on SOOO many levels right there)
Stickman
11-05-2007, 02:47 PM
Rule 72: You don't actually have to watch the product to have an opinion on it.
El Fangel
11-05-2007, 03:35 PM
Rule 70: No matter what we say HHH and Cena win no matter what except against Hulk Hogan who beats off
El Fangel
11-05-2007, 03:36 PM
Rule #73: If you win a title in your debut match, other then the WWE/WCW You will plummet into Mid-Card Hell, Or leave entirely.
Rule #74: If you do not hold the world title within three years of your debut you will never be worth a damn.
Kane Knight
11-05-2007, 04:46 PM
Rule #75: You do not talk about Fight Club.
...Errr, I mean, Wrestling news is always true, even if it directly contradicts other wrestling news.
Tazz Dan
11-05-2007, 06:44 PM
Rule #54: Shit was bad when cena wasnt around, but boy did it REALLY start to suck when he got super big.
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:wtf:
94 SVT Cobra
11-05-2007, 09:46 PM
two totally different things, but i can see how you could confuse the two...every rule book has those rules that seem similar.
FourFifty
11-05-2007, 09:55 PM
Rule 76- It's only a spoiler if you give a crap about it.
94 SVT Cobra
11-05-2007, 10:01 PM
77: who the fuck is chirs beniot?
Kane Knight
11-05-2007, 10:04 PM
Rule 78: CENA! CENA! CENA!
Tazz Dan
11-05-2007, 10:24 PM
two totally different things, but i can see how you could confuse the two...every rule book has those rules that seem similar.
Yeah, I was actually pointing out that we had two Rule #54's, but :-\
Kane Knight
11-05-2007, 10:31 PM
Rule 79: The more a wrestler hates the internet, the more over he is with the IWC.This rule doesn't apply to Brock Lesnar, as he used to play D&D in Latin.
Kane Knight
11-05-2007, 10:50 PM
Rule 80: The crowd is always clearly behind my guy, even when you can hear the proverbial pin drop.
Nowhere Man
11-06-2007, 12:17 AM
Rule 81: Every wrestler is ALWAYS better as a heel.
FourFifty
11-06-2007, 02:51 AM
Rule 81A- Some rules may be posted more than once due to the fact that some things cannot be stressed enough.
Kane Knight
11-06-2007, 09:08 AM
Rule 82: Every. Wrestler. Is. Better. As. A. Heel.
Kane Knight
11-06-2007, 09:09 AM
Rule 83: Every problem can be solved by turning someone heel, or arbitrarily dropping their gimmick and playing themselves.
Dave Youell
11-06-2007, 09:50 AM
#84
If a female has fake enhancements some IWC members will claim that she looks too fake and they wouldn’t touch it with a barge pole. Then they go back to watching internet porn alone in there parents house.
FourFifty
11-06-2007, 10:29 AM
Rule 85- You do not need to read one letter in a thread in order to get pissed off over what's in the thread.
Kane Knight
11-06-2007, 10:39 AM
Rule 85- You do not need to read one letter in a thread in order to get pissed off over what's in the thread.
That one's getting put up on the refrigerator.
BigDaddyCool
11-06-2007, 10:55 AM
Rule 86: If Alienoids post is over a paragraph, it is automatically assumed it is a detailed (yet crappy plan) to get the titles around the waste of either Val Venis or the Bashams.
Dave Youell
11-06-2007, 10:59 AM
Rule 86: If Alienoids post is over a paragraph, it is automatically assumed it is a detailed (yet crappy plan) to get the titles around the waste of either Val Venis or the Bashams.
:lol:
BigDaddyCool
11-06-2007, 11:01 AM
Rule 86, subsection a: Even if it is a thread that has nothing to do with either Val Venis or the Bashams.
Lord-Of-Darkness
11-06-2007, 11:35 AM
Rule #75: You do not talk about Fight Club.
...Errr, I mean, Wrestling news is always true, even if it directly contradicts other wrestling news.
So wrestling news works exactly like the bible then...
Theo Dious
11-06-2007, 12:01 PM
Rule #68: It is never ok to enjoy anything that has to do with women in pro wrestling.
Rule #68a: When there are no legitimate women's wrestlers, "then there should be, and it's stupid to have all this eyecandy."
Rule #68b: When there are legitimate women's wrestlers, "this is all a waste of time and they should just go back to having nothing but eycandy."
Rule #68c: "The Diva Search sucks, even though I watched every second of it and constantly beat off while it was happening."
Theo Dious
11-06-2007, 12:03 PM
Rule #87: Paul Heyman is an infallible God, Vince Russo is simultaneously a misunderstood creative genius and the source of all of TNA's problems, and if your last name is McMahon your ideas are worthless unless your first name is Shane.
Theo Dious
11-06-2007, 12:05 PM
Rule #88: "Elevate the midcard" is an acceptable answer to solving any problem, regardless of the actual worth of the midcard or lack of any actual plans on how to accomplish said elevation.
Kane Knight
11-06-2007, 01:43 PM
Rule #89: All we need to do to save (insert promotion) is to push (insert wrestler). Works best in conjunction with "Turning him heel."
Corkscrewed
11-07-2007, 01:22 AM
Rule #90: You can never win an argument with Kane Knight.
:shifty:
Kane Knight
11-09-2007, 07:11 PM
Rule #91: Everyone is better than half the roster.
FourFifty
11-09-2007, 09:54 PM
Rule 91A- No one except The 'Noid cares about that half of the roster.
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