Post your favourite wrestler/wrestling quotes...

[Chavo Classic]

For fun. :D

[Stickman]

"And they call you the Big Show? he he he."

[Innovator]

CM Punk on commentary in ROH:

"I socked a horse in the eye once. He was chewing on my hand, but thats another story for another time."

"Hey, If I want you to open your mouth! I`ll drop my pants" - Austin Aries to a woman heckler

"You're like a human vaccum cleaner. You both suck and blow"
- Edge to Billy Gunn

"how many fanboys does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to screw it in and 9 to argue about how much better the last light bulb was." - jack evans

[Innovator]

Interviewer: Will you be able to get along with Jarrett tonight?

Raven: As long as he doesn't try to Stroke me from behind.

[Xero]

"how many fanboys does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to screw it in and 9 to argue about how much better the last light bulb was." - jack evans
:rofl:

[Innovator]

Crowd: FUCK HIM UP, JOE, FUCK HIM UP

Danielson: Hey, here's a better chant: LOSE SOME WEIGHT, JOE, LOSE SOME WEIGHT!

[Innovator]

Punker on Ghost Hunters

"You guys ever Ghost-Hunted in Hawaii? No? Well, I have this fat friend...I shouldn't say fat, that might offend him...but he's Samoan and claims to have seen ghosts."

[KYR]

Scott Hall: "Kick him when he's down, he's easier to reach".

Val Venis: "This leg will be known as Christmas, and this leg will be known as New Year's! So ladies, why don't you all come visit the Big Valbowski between the holidays?"

SCSA: "You can talk about your Psalms and your John 3:16. Well, Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your ass." - someone had to mention it.

[Theo Dious]

Old episode of Prime Time Wrestling, Ted DiBiase is searching the crowd for the Million Dollar Belt and proceeds to run a metal detector over Bobby Heenan, finding a watch in his pocket:

DiBiase: Another watch? What are you doing with two watches?
Heenan: Well, I, uh...
DiBiase: (turns the watch over and reads) "Vince McMahon?"
Heenan: It was a gift!

During Hart vs Perfect, SummerSlam:

Monsoon: A look of concern on the faces of the parents of the Hitman.
Heenan: You know why they look concerned?
Monsoon: Why?
Heenan: They snuck in! They're scoping for the ushers!

[Theo Dious]

Oh, and the best Heenan quote ever:

Janetty tried to dive through the window to escape! What an act of cowardism!

[Indifferent Clox]

Bryan Danielson (to the ref):I've GOT TILL 5!

[Jeritron]

" There are swerves and there are swerves. We've all been swerved"

"It was the ultimate swerve!!!!!!"

"He just ran him over with a baby carriage. Now I've seen it all"

- Tony Schiavone during the dying year of WCW

[KYR]

"Ring the Goddam Bell!!!" :shifty:

[Mister Sinister]

They Have Families To Feed DAMMIT!!!

[Bad Company]

"The Heart Break Kid lays down for absolutely nobody"

[Indifferent Clox]

why does it always digress into a tony shaivonne, jr thread?

[Skippord]

"NOT THIS WAY,NOT THIS WAY, DAMMIT!!!!"

[BigDaddyCool]

That turnbuckle isn't made of chocolate"

Oh, this isn't the Jim Ross thread. :shifty:

[Executioner]

"This is the greatest moment in the history of our sport."- Tony Schiavone after any rediculously overhyped moment.

[KYR]

Bobby Heenan commenting on Hogan's entrance music

Heenan: "That's my second favorite song."
Monsoon: "I'm almost afraid to ask. Whats your favorite?"
Heenan: "All the rest are tied."
------------------------------
Heenan: "You know why there were only 220 Mexicans at the Alamo? They only had one car."

[Jeritron]

"At summerslam, I'm gonna take care of that filthy disgusting smelly beast...and I'm gonna get you too Rhyno"

"This guy has no chance of winning. I'm gonna go into the back and get a coffee, I'll be back out later to face the winner for my belt that they have absolutely no chance of winning"

"Excuse me fellas, I need to get in the building, I'm gonna go over JJ Dillon's head" - to Senate building security in DC

"HELLO WINSTON SALEM!"

"And Vince McMahon, you are a genius. You created this whole thing known as sports entertainment. You sir, are a multibillionaire...but you did it all to make up for that fact that you have a very small PENIS" - Jericho
....
"A SMALLL PENISS?!?!?" -JR

[Jeritron]

"HE IS WAY OUT OF LINE RIGHT NOW" - Schiavone during one of Steiners shoots on DDP

[Executioner]

AIR JUVI AIR JUVI...PINATA...PINATA!!!...HE LEARNED THAT ONE A TIAJUANA STATE...BAWGAWD BAWBAQUE SAOUSE!!!!

[Executioner]

"The Rock and HHH go way back...even in preschool here came baby HHH...'My diaper's that damn wet!'...How's this baby rattle up your candy ass..WHAM!!!! Or maybe back in the Colonial Days..George Rockington...Benedict Helmsley...'I cannot tell a lie. You are a monkey's anus.' Here again...US Constitution up your candy ass...WHAM!!! And even back in the cave man days...Cave Man Rock...Cave man HHH....'Fire good ugh!'...Here's something even better...giant club turned sideways up your candy ass...WHAM!!!!"- Rock promo on Raw in 2002

[Executioner]

"The Heart Break Kid lays down for absolutely nobody...cause he's always bending over..."
-Jason Sensation during the DX parody of the Corporation

[Evil Vito]

<font color=goldenrod>"You know that you are half the man that I am. And you know that I have half the brain that you do."
-Sid Vicious</font>

[redoneja]

Pretty much everything Bobby Heenan ever said.

[KYR]

Kane (pre 1999):" "

:shifty:

[FourFifty]

"And one more thing- WOOOOOOOOOO!"

[redoneja]

<dl><dd>Heenan: I KNOW who the Assassin is!!!!</dd><dd>Schiavone: Tell us, Bobby, who?</dd><dd>Heenan: He's the guy down at ringside wearing the mask!</dd></dl>

[Fox]

"For so long, I wanted to be like you; now I just want to prove that I am better than you."
-Jericho to HBK

"Here comes the pain, Michael."
-Tazz, during every single last Brock Lesnar entrance

"Join me in the Olympic Heroes for abstinence. The best sex is no sex."
-Kurt Angle circa 1999

[What Would Kevin Do?]

"I'll go down swinging, or I won't go down at all."

Mick Foley before his Hell in a Cell match vs HHH

[Zen v.W.o.]

"Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions." -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

"Tommy Rich, the John-Boy of pro-wrestling." -- Roddy Piper

"Ric Flair, the Slim Whitman of Pro-Wrestling." -- Rowdy Roddy Piper

"Oh, here he comes now, the May West of pro-wrestling." -- Roddy Piper on Ric Flair

"Ever notice Hulk Hogan ain't got no hair on his chest? The only one who's got hair on their chest on their team is Cindy Lauper." -- Roddy Piper

"Gene Mean, look at our body. Cameraman, zoom!" -- Iron Sheik

I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me!" -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

Bobby Heenan on Kerry Von Erich: "He's the only man I know of who can hide his own easter eggs."

[Theo Dious]

<dl><dd>Heenan: I KNOW who the Assassin is!!!!</dd><dd>Schiavone: Tell us, Bobby, who?</dd><dd>Heenan: He's the guy down at ringside wearing the mask!</dd></dl>

I preferred this one at Survivor Series:

Heenan: I know who the Red Knight is.
Ray Combs: Then tell us, Bobby Heenan, I think we'd all like to know.
Heenan: He's the guy in the ring, in the mask. He just put an ankle lock on Bret Hart.

[NoRoolz]

"I'm the french guy, I'm a tickler, I like to tickle french guys" Or some modification of these words - Tazz everytime Rene Dupree performed the french tickler.

[NoRoolz]

"Oh my god he hit the man right in his balls!"
---5 second pause---
-Delayed bleep-
"I've just been told off for saying 'balls', I'm really sorry if I offended anyone by saying 'balls'"

Joey Styles ECW One Night Stand '05.

[Mr. Nerfect]

Punker on Ghost Hunters

"You guys ever Ghost-Hunted in Hawaii? No? Well, I have this fat friend...I shouldn't say fat, that might offend him...but he's Samoan and claims to have seen ghosts."

:lol:

Say what you want about those indie guys, they are damn hilarious.

Bobby Heenan was greatness. :love:

[Dave Youell]

And well well well............

"The man who drove Beulah McGullislutty into the mat so hard she didn't know whether to urinate, deficate, or ejaculate, I present to you Buh Buh Ray Dudley."

"I am the peeled banana in your fruitbowl of love"

"Well, well, well if you got an hour, I've got the power.

Joel 'You can't have your pudding if you don't eat your meat' Gertner"

"Joel 'So hot I gotta get in the sauna just to keep cool' Gertner"

Refering to Big Dick Dudley: "Attached to the creature who last night impregnated your mother ..."

"Joel 'The man who is so big he can't help from hurtin her' Gertner"

"I don't know what I'd do if I woke up in the morning and I wasn't me"

"The quintessential muffstuffer - opps, I mean studdmuffin"

"Joel 'Just like the Rubix Cube, the more you play with it, the harder it gets' Gertner"

"Joel 'Put your lipstick on my dipstick' Gertner"

"And you know, now that I've pounded the hype out of Lance Wright, I think it might be time to whip the smiles from Joey Styles"

"The quintessential studmuffin, Joel Gertner - remember that name, you'll be screaming it later"

"Joel 'Point the direction you want my erection' Gertner"

"Joel 'Harder than the tree that hit Sonny Bono' Gertner"

"Joel 'Bigger and better than the Titanic, because only 400 women went down on the Titanic' Gertner"

"Joel 'I've busted more nuts than a peanut factory' Gertner"

"And then there's me - I'm like milk; I do a body good."

"The quintessential studmuffin, the man whose wit is more tongue in cheek than a lesbian orgy, Joel 'The man whose phone number is on your girlfriend's speed-dial, because she loves the way I sixty-nine her' Gertner"

"Squeeze my lemons till the juice runs down my leg"

"I'm hotter than a 15 year old girl in a field hockey skirt"

From his Prodigy interview: "Well, well, well ... put those floppy disks away here comes the man with the biggest hard drive in professional wrestling ... Joel 'I've got more RAM than you can handle' Gertner"

"Ladies and Gentlemen the following matchup scheduled for 1 fall with a 15 minute time limit, and your referee is bald"

"And there's me, Joel 'The biggest ladykiller in Buffalo since O.J. Simpson' Gertner."

"I am the quintessential studmuffin, Joel 'Delivers more package than UPS' Gertner."

"Joel 'I'm like the middle of the litter box...I'm always surrounded by pussy' Gertner"

"Joel 'The girls like to call me Fred Flinstone because they love the way I make their beds rock' Gertner
" Joel ' Im young , im hung and im skilled with my tongue ' Gertner "

[CSL]

Oh, and the best Heenan quote ever:

Janetty tried to dive through the window to escape! What an act of cowardism!

'Will you stop!'

[Executioner]

Heenan-"Ok who's number 3?"
Monsoon- "There's the buzzer!"
~Flair enters the 92 Rumble~
Heenan-"NO DAMNIT!! This isnt fair to flair!"
~Later that match~
Heenan-"Thank you Roddy...its not a skirt its a kilt...oh what the hell are you doing you skirt wearing freak!"

[Russenmafia]

During a match in ECW for the tag titles (Balls Mahoney/ Spike Dudley vs Dudleys), Balls and Spike hit synchornised DDT's and cover both Dudley Boys.

Styles - 1, 2

Duds kick out

Styles - SON OF A BITCH!!

Think the match is on ECW Bloodsport Vol 1.

[Theo Dious]

Heenan-"Ok who's number 3?"
Monsoon- "There's the buzzer!"
~Flair enters the 92 Rumble~
Heenan-"NO DAMNIT!! This isnt fair to flair!"
~Later that match~
Heenan-"Thank you Roddy...its not a skirt its a kilt...oh what the hell are you doing you skirt wearing freak!"

At one point when about half the participants had been out, Flair was left the only one in the ring and Heenan shouted "FLAIR WINS!!!"

Then Piper came out and beat the snot out of him.

:rofl: