The First *BDCA* Impact of 2008! 1/3/08

[BigDaddyCool]

Tonight on Impact we will finally get the answers we never wanted! That is right, we will learn that Rellik is killer backwards! We will also see a bunch of other crap and Joe will eat 50 cheeseburges, but Kong will eat 100.

[BigDaddyCool]

Also, JB will probably sit on the floor with someone. And Styles will probaby be a little bitch.

[DarKCentaur]

JB will sit on AJ's floor!

[DarKCentaur]

We won't find out AJ's decision until two weeks after the PPV.

[BigDaddyCool]

Pfffffft, acting like Impact is live. I know wrestling is fake, but there is no need to lie.

[BigDaddyCool]

We won't find out AJ's decision until two weeks after the PPV.

3 Weeks.

[DarKCentaur]

Touche.

So wait, we're determining title contenders 3 days before the PPV??

[BigDaddyCool]

Gauntlet? What the fuck, rankings? I thought they had that feast or fired match to determine #1 contendership.

[Xero]

Why is there no BDCA Heat threads? :(

[DarKCentaur]

"... since title shots are SO hard to come by here"

HAHAHA touche Joe, touche.

[DarKCentaur]

Touche is my word of the night.

[BigDaddyCool]

Touche.

So wait, we're determining title contenders 3 days before the PPV??

Simply amazing.

How is it that we have a ppv and Samoa Joe hasn't been given a McDonalds of his own?

[BigDaddyCool]

Everyone shut up, Nash it talking.

[BigDaddyCool]

Wooooooooooooooo, Nash telling it like it is. No one has the right to talk about the Kliq.

[BigDaddyCool]

Nash is going to kill you.

[BigDaddyCool]

Nash is going to walk aside, he would injure himself.

[BigDaddyCool]

So what happened to the Feast or Fired winners?

[DarKCentaur]

Simply amazing.

How is it that we have a ppv and Samoa Joe hasn't been given a McDonalds of his own?

That's his upcoming new interview segment.

[BigDaddyCool]

I would pay money if they could guarentte me a lazy bomb on Joe.

[Innovator]

Everyone got your scripts?

[BigDaddyCool]

Everyone got your scripts?

You know I can't read.

[Innovator]

GAUNTLETS BABY! GIMMICKS GALORE!

[Innovator]

So far, all we know about TNA is that Crystal follows the script, and Joe and Nash can ablib

[BigDaddyCool]

Oh sweet Bob Sapp is on pros v Joes. He is going to kill someone.

[DarKCentaur]

I think if you really go back and analyze everything that happened in TNA's storylines in 2007 (and I have no clue, I haven't been watching long), at LEAST 75% of the roster have outstanding Title Matches that were never cashed in.

[BigDaddyCool]

So far, all we know about TNA is that Crystal follows the script, and Joe and Nash can ablib

You know Nash refuses to read cause he is kliq.

[BigDaddyCool]

I think if you really go back and analyze everything that happened in TNA's storylines in 2007 (and I have no clue, I haven't been watching long), at LEAST 75% of the roster have outstanding Title Matches that were never cashed in.

The great thing about TNA is that you can not watch for 6 months, and nothing has changed.

[Innovator]

I can't wait for Pros vs. Joes to start up

[St. Jimmy]

I'd pay for Joe vs. Kong.

[Innovator]

The script says who is face and heel at least

[BigDaddyCool]

Scracth that, the person that comes in and hasn't watched for months has an advantage over then long time watcher. The long time watcher is expecting things to be answered, the rainy day watcher has no questions.

[St. Jimmy]

sexual harassment in TNA is at an all time high.

[Innovator]

:lol: Bubba making fun of Kip

[BigDaddyCool]

How does Hall and Nash get title shots with Tomko and Styles over all the real tag teams? Not that the Outsiders aren't a real tag team.

[St. Jimmy]

wow. it is not better to burn out than it is to fade away.

[Innovator]

$10 Devon is the third guy on the gauntlet

[BigDaddyCool]

Gauntel match...sounds like a battle royal.

[Innovator]

BTW, D'Lo is the agent for the match

[St. Jimmy]

What is this hard on for Gauntlet matches?

[BigDaddyCool]

So what do these ranks mean?

[DarKCentaur]

Wait what? The lower ranked guys start first, ok.... but the Voodoo Kin Mafia are the lowest ranked? Aren't they the #1 Contenders??

[BigDaddyCool]

$10 Devon is the third guy on the gauntlet

No fair taking the time to read.

[St. Jimmy]

D'von is a HUGE motherfucker. He needs to lay off the carbs.

[BigDaddyCool]

Wait what? The lower ranked guys start first, ok.... but the Voodoo Kin Mafia are the lowest ranked? Aren't they the #1 Contenders??

Well Road Dogg is at least.

[BigDaddyCool]

D'von is a HUGE motherfucker. He needs to lay off the carbs.

D'Von drinks White Zin.

[BigDaddyCool]

How is LAX considered the best?

[St. Jimmy]

Jimmy Rave sucks.

[DarKCentaur]

D'Von drinks White Zin.

And Joe's cheeseburger grease.

[DarKCentaur]

Are they throwing trash in the ring already? What was that red thing

[BigDaddyCool]

Also, shouldn't the Steiners be in this?

[DarKCentaur]

Also, shouldn't the Steiners be in this?

No, they're all about the X-Division now. Rick Steiner for Ultimate X

[Innovator]

well they are

[BigDaddyCool]

That was sloppy.

[BigDaddyCool]

How is the rock rave infection still in?

[DarKCentaur]

Good thing for TNA, with 4 long Gauntlet matches tonight, they can stick all of their commercial breaks in the middle of them!

[BigDaddyCool]

Again, how is the rock and rave connection still in?

[Innovator]

quick match

[Innovator]

HERE COMES A BEATDOWN

[St. Jimmy]

OH NOES, KENDO STICK.

[BigDaddyCool]

How is Johnny Divine > the MCMGs?

[BigDaddyCool]

Why isn't Lethal coming out? And why hasn't he gotten his title back?

[DarKCentaur]

Is Mike Tenay retarded? How are they gonna break their arms when they're hitting their fingers and hands?

[BigDaddyCool]

The greatest tag team? I don't remember is the Road Warriors out there.

[St. Jimmy]

wow, a shot with a kendo stick is really that bone breaking...

[St. Jimmy]

Karen Angle is a milffff.

[BigDaddyCool]

Is Mike Tenay retarded? How are they gonna break their arms when they're hitting their fingers and hands?

The Guns are selling the hands, Tenay is saying the arms are broke, and Bubba is talking about wristes. I'm confused.

[St. Jimmy]

LOL.

[Innovator]

AHAHHA

Karen ablibs, but Kurt doesn't

[BigDaddyCool]

TNA makes my brains bleed.

[FourFifty]

Wait a second. "The First *BDCA* Impact of 2008"?

Impact is BDCA?
Woah, this either means Impact is a lot cooler than I believed, or being BDCA isn't cool anymore....

[Innovator]

knockout gauntlet coming up, let's go Velvet Sky

[McLegend]

Angle doesn't like to go away from the script

[DarKCentaur]

The Guns are selling the hands, Tenay is saying the arms are broke, and Bubba is talking about wristes. I'm confused.

Still not as bad as WCW. The Guns would have limped out of the ring, and Larry Zybysko would exclaim "Looks like Team 3D really got the upper HAND"

[St. Jimmy]

Velvet Sky is amazinggggg.

[St. Jimmy]

3rd Grade Teacher? Seriously.

[DarKCentaur]

Oh geez, "AJ: This is Your Life"?

[BigDaddyCool]

What is this?

They need to quit trying to be funny and just let Nash be funny.

[DarKCentaur]

She gave up awfully quick.

[St. Jimmy]

Is that Pete Rose?

[Innovator]

Why doesn't Nash just take Don West's spot, AND Tenay's spot

[McLegend]

lol night of gunlets

[DarKCentaur]

Side note: who the fuck cares what corner he's in? Is the match No DQ?

[St. Jimmy]

lol, what's with that graphic of the world belt?

[BigDaddyCool]

Miss Brooke's tits are gross.

[Innovator]

Angelina is a hotter version of Ashley

[BigDaddyCool]

So awesome kong is winning this match?

[Innovator]

Velvet Sky is next

[Innovator]

So awesome kong is winning this match?
you wanna know?

[BigDaddyCool]

Shouldn't they be doing this kind of ranking crap the day after the ppv. Not the day before?

[St. Jimmy]

VELVET SKY :love:

[BigDaddyCool]

you wanna know?

I'll just watch.

[BigDaddyCool]

Christie Herpes?

[DarKCentaur]

How do people like ODB?

[BigDaddyCool]

Seriously the crowd is cheering odb?

[St. Jimmy]

ODB is a face?

[BigDaddyCool]

How do people like ODB?

She is nothing special in the ring, ugly, and gross.

[DarKCentaur]

And Roxxi Leveaux is ranked higher than all these people?

[Innovator]

roxxi is using less make up

[BigDaddyCool]

How is Roxy #2 contender?

[DarKCentaur]

She is nothing special in the ring, ugly, and gross.

She could be a man, for all we know.

[DarKCentaur]

Wait, is that her gimmick?

[BigDaddyCool]

How is Kong not #1 contender for the TNA world heavywieght title?

[BigDaddyCool]

She could be a man, for all we know.

Indeed.

[DarKCentaur]

How is Kong not #1 contender for the TNA world heavywieght title?

She probably already is. We already have like 5 of them.

[St. Jimmy]

Roxy is a woman I'd love to pin me.

[Shaggy]

This is the first time Ive tuned into TNA in a while and I only have one question....

When the hell did TNA get so many women?...and that giant black girl that looks like a man....

I remember when TNA was just Trinity, Goldylocks and Tracy.....now we have like 10 other girls and some of them arent that bad looking...while others make me want to tear my eyes out...

[BigDaddyCool]

She probably already is. We already have like 5 of them.

Who? I know we have Petey Williams and Christian Cage. Don't say Kaz, he already lost his match against Angle.

[DarKCentaur]

That was anti-climatic.

[BigDaddyCool]

Booooooooooooooooooooooooo

[BigDaddyCool]

Kong should come back in and kill them.

[DarKCentaur]

Who? I know we have Petey Williams and Christian Cage. Don't say Kaz, he already lost his match against Angle.

We'll have another after tonight. Joe claims to be one. So does Scott Steiner.

[Innovator]

after this match, goat boy gets mic time!

[St. Jimmy]

Poor Roxy.

[BigDaddyCool]

We'll have another after tonight. Joe claims to be one. So does Scott Steiner.

How is Joe and Steier? Did they actaully win a match? I mean Steiner claims a lot of things. But what is Joe's claim?

[DarKCentaur]

Why even bother with the match at the end? Each one has lasted a minute so far.

[BigDaddyCool]

What happened to Tomko's arm. That is a huge bruise.

[Innovator]

Tomko can cut a good promo

[DarKCentaur]

How is Joe and Steier? Did they actaully win a match? I mean Steiner claims a lot of things. But what is Joe's claim?

He's the fattest guy on the roster. I dunno, I was just saying.

On a brighter note, who has that Relaxing with Tomko pic :lol:

[Innovator]

Technically Joe is still owed a shot after he beat Jarrett in September of 2006

[BigDaddyCool]

The show needs to be built around tomko and morgan and stiener.

[St. Jimmy]

Hookers and Blow.

[DarKCentaur]

What's with this silver commercial? Shelton Benjamin can NOT be happy about this.

[BigDaddyCool]

He's the fattest guy on the roster. I dunno, I was just saying.

On a brighter note, who has that Relaxing with Tomko pic :lol:

Bubba is the fattest. Hell, Kong is bigger than Joe.

[BigDaddyCool]

What's with this silver commercial? Shelton Benjamin can NOT be happy about this.

It goes on and on doesn't it?

[DarKCentaur]

The show needs to be built around tomko and morgan and stiener.

Agreed. Morgan and Tomko are awesome.

[BigDaddyCool]

Does Angle have 2 TNA themes?

[BigDaddyCool]

When final resalution is a important match in a career that has been to mania...Things are bleak.

[BigDaddyCool]

Tomko is getting a nice cheer.

[BigDaddyCool]

I knew that powerful words line was going to be used.

[Innovator]

Hookers and Blow.
thats what i am

[DarKCentaur]

I thought that was his grandpa.

[SuperSlim]

I'm curious now...

what was the purpose of that match with the briefcases?

the James gang aren't gettin their tag shot even though they won.

Petey is... doin nothin.

and Scott is nowhere to be seen

[Innovator]

Tomko & Morgan need to join up, Twin Towers Style

[BigDaddyCool]

I thought that was his grandpa.

Um, shut up.

[DarKCentaur]

I'm curious now...

what was the purpose of that match with the briefcases?

the James gang aren't gettin their tag shot even though they won.

Petey is... doin nothin.

and Scott is nowhere to be seen

I thought the whole point was a round-about way to fire Christopher Daniels.

[DarKCentaur]

Um, shut up.

:'(

[BigDaddyCool]

I'm curious now...

what was the purpose of that match with the briefcases?

the James gang aren't gettin their tag shot even though they won.

Petey is... doin nothin.

and Scott is nowhere to be seen

I've only asked that 20 times this thread. Thanks for joining it.

[SuperSlim]

I was too busy trying to figure out TNA that I missed the first 3 pages

[BigDaddyCool]

I was too busy trying to figure out TNA that I missed the first 3 pages

That is cool.

[DarKCentaur]

Clergymen? Since when has God had something to do with.... oh wait.

[SuperSlim]

man.... this AJ segment is pretty gay

like the really annoying and freaky irritating gay. The kind of gay that you don't wanna be around because they're that freaky and irritating.

[McLegend]

Wow AJ's "sister" is pretty hot

[BigDaddyCool]

Did AJ Styles used to be an arrogent cock, when did he turn into a bitch?

[BigDaddyCool]

I'm so confused by all of this.

[DarKCentaur]

If I didn't know any better, I'd think the X-Division was the Special Olympics, with Machismo and Corky Dutt

[DarKCentaur]

And the confusing rankings continue... Petey Williams is the second-lowest ranked for the X Title, but he's the #1 Contender to the WORLD title?

[BigDaddyCool]

Why is petey still in the x-div when he has a world title shot?

[SuperSlim]

AJ has been a punk ass ever since Christian came into TNA.

and he's been on the decline ever since... well no I take that back. he was actually gettin somewhere... then when Angle came in... he collapsed :P

[DarKCentaur]

And I guess this means Shark Boy is NOT the worst X-Division guy.

[Innovator]

I remember when AJ was the man, how things change

[BigDaddyCool]

And the confusing rankings continue... Petey Williams is the second-lowest ranked for the X Title, but he's the #1 Contender to the WORLD title?

2girls1cup makes more sence than TNA.

[SuperSlim]

Why is petey still in the x-div when he has a world title shot?

because they already forgot about that match

yet Daniels won't show up in TNA at all cause that part they're sticking to

[DarKCentaur]

2girls1cup makes more sence than TNA.

Well, it is a simple concept.

[Innovator]

Chewie on Endor makes more sense than TNA

[BigDaddyCool]

because they already forgot about that match

yet Daniels won't show up in TNA at all cause that part they're sticking to

He'll get fired when the accounting firm for TNA notices he is still on the payroll but not working. No one will remember why.

Petey will continue to carry around the scott briefcase. They will forget why and make a gimmick around it.

[Innovator]

why isn't shark boy in a full body cast yet?

[BigDaddyCool]

Shark boy was rated higher than both Petey and Dutt?

[DarKCentaur]

Elix Skipper: the Tin Standard of TNA

[BigDaddyCool]

Wait, Elix Skipper is rated better than someone?

[BigDaddyCool]

If Scott Stiener doesn't come out, I'll be pissed.

[BigDaddyCool]

Senshi is the top contender? I'm not saying he shouldn't be, but the rankings don't make any sense.

[Innovator]

I miss the Ghetto Stomps

[DarKCentaur]

Senshi is ranked #1? Wasn't he almost fired? And the only reason he wasn't is because he LOST a match to Christopher Daniels?

[DarKCentaur]

So now Petey Williams is #1 Contender to the X-Title and World Title?

[BigDaddyCool]

So, Petey Williams is now the #1 contender to the X-Division and World Heavywieght? Scott Stiener is going to kill him.

[SuperSlim]

or ... they'll make a trade and Scott will get the world title shot... but somehow it will be given to Booker T because of some past deal between Steiner and Booker... but Angle will show up with Karen and talk about how Christian did this and that... and somehow that involves Samoa Joe and he will come out talking about how he should be world champion and then that will leave.

...

ummmmm the next few weeks of TNA stuff

[BigDaddyCool]

Why do they need to detrime rankings when they were ranked before coming into the match. Shouldn't the result of 1 on 1 matches have more sway in ranks than elmination cluster fuck match?

[DarKCentaur]

or ... they'll make a trade and Scott will get the world title shot... but somehow it will be given to Booker T because of some past deal between Steiner and Booker... but Angle will show up with Karen and talk about how Christian did this and that... and somehow that involves Samoa Joe and he will come out talking about how he should be world champion and then that will leave.

...

ummmmm the next few days of TNA stuff

Fixed.

[McLegend]

Booker is hot

[BigDaddyCool]

or ... they'll make a trade and Scott will get the world title shot... but somehow it will be given to Booker T because of some past deal between Steiner and Booker... but Angle will show up with Karen and talk about how Christian did this and that... and somehow that involves Samoa Joe and he will come out talking about how he should be world champion and then that will leave.

...

ummmmm the next few weeks of TNA stuff

God damnit, now they are going to think we want to see that.

[SuperSlim]

oh yeah... I forgot they like working at lightning speed

AJ has been in the room for 2 days? what an idiot

[SuperSlim]

God damnit, now they are going to think we want to see that.

nooo... no... they will see that and think... ummm that it is a horrible idea and will then try to make sensible feuds for the world title

[BigDaddyCool]

This is so gay. Wasn't AJ suppose to pick 3 weeks ago?

[BigDaddyCool]

nooo... no... they will see that and think... ummm that it is a horrible idea and will then try to make sensible feuds for the world title

Hmmmmmm, no they will do something more retarded we can't even think of.

[DarKCentaur]

JB needs to confess he has an uncontrollable sitting problem.

[McLegend]

Booker is Hot

[SuperSlim]

JB needs to confess he has an uncontrollable sitting problem.

does he ever sit?

[DarKCentaur]

Sharmell doesn't have a contract to wrestle? Then why the hell did they hire her?

[SuperSlim]

This is so gay. Wasn't AJ suppose to pick 3 weeks ago?

to them... 3 weeks happens in 3 days so they thought he already did... which is why he's still... debating who he will side with... because... they are... redoing it again.

[BigDaddyCool]

Why are the current #1 contenders who already have a match booked for the ppv on sunday in these rank matches?

[SuperSlim]

Sharmell doesn't have a contract to wrestle? Then why the hell did they hire her?

Booker T's wife... why else?

certainly not her looks

[BigDaddyCool]

to them... 3 weeks happens in 3 days so they thought he already did... which is why he's still... debating who he will side with... because... they are... redoing it again.

:wtf:

[DarKCentaur]

Why are the current #1 contenders who already have a match booked for the ppv on sunday in these rank matches?

Christian will probably be like, the lowest ranked.

[SuperSlim]

I was trying to think like a TNA booker

[DarKCentaur]

And Chris Harris is ranked over James Storm?

[BigDaddyCool]

I was trying to think like a TNA booker

They have a booker? I thought they just had Russo.

[DarKCentaur]

And what the hell? Roode is ranked 2nd lowest??

[SuperSlim]

They have a booker? I thought they just had Russo.

oh yeah... hmmm what was I thinkin?

[SuperSlim]

And what the hell? Roode is ranked 2nd lowest??

well he hasn't really done anything... but why Chris Harris would be above him is a mystery.

Eric Young is in this?

[BigDaddyCool]

And what the hell? Roode is ranked 2nd lowest??

Eric Young is higher than Roode?

[DarKCentaur]

I really wouldn't put Eric Young on the same level as Robert Roode.

Are these rankings, or random drawings?

[BigDaddyCool]

Techincally shouldn't petey williams be in this match too?

[BigDaddyCool]

I really wouldn't put Eric Young on the same level as Robert Roode.

Are these rankings, or random drawings?

They said it was ranking.

[SuperSlim]

Techincally shouldn't petey williams be in this match too?

he should... since he is the number one contender... and Scott didn't even appear in the other one... he better be in this one

[SuperSlim]

wooo I got my wish :P

[DarKCentaur]

Oh PLEASE. Rellik is in this? And he's ranked above people? Has he even won a match?

[BigDaddyCool]

How ir Rellik and Blackreign hire than roode?

How is Stiener not #1?

[BigDaddyCool]

How is Judas higher than Stiener?

[DarKCentaur]

And Judas Mesias is ranked above Scott Steiner? WTF

[DarKCentaur]

Does Cornette even watch TNA?

[BigDaddyCool]

How is Stiener not going all roid rage on every one?

[DarKCentaur]

At least Nash is above all these goons.

[BigDaddyCool]

Ok, Well at least Nash is higher than Judas.

[BigDaddyCool]

So no one else is in this. Nash is number 1.

[SuperSlim]

Steiner should have been higher.

[BigDaddyCool]

How is Abyss higher than nash?

[BigDaddyCool]

How can anyone eliminate Stiener?

[BigDaddyCool]

Wait, is this the burger eating ranking? Cause that is the only way Joe is higher ranked than anyone.

[BigDaddyCool]

How is Golddust and Booker T not being hilarious together?

[SuperSlim]

Cage got the right ranking.

but who eliminated Steiner?

[DarKCentaur]

Uh oh, Kurt better hope Christian didn't see any monitors on the way to the ring

[BigDaddyCool]

Rellik, that is killer backwards, is gone.

[DarKCentaur]

Wait a second. Christian is ALREADY #1 Contender? Why is he in this?

[BigDaddyCool]

Cage got the right ranking.

but who eliminated Steiner?

Judas.

[DarKCentaur]

HAHAHAHAHA

[SuperSlim]

so the whole... gauntlet things were worthless... cause the matches that were set... stay.

[Innovator]

Hebner screws another

[BigDaddyCool]

Wait a second. Christian is ALREADY #1 Contender? Why is he in this?

So then if I get this right. Christian is still #1, Joe is still #2, and Nash is 3?

[SuperSlim]

Judas.

that's gay

[BigDaddyCool]

Wow, how did I know AJ wasn't going to pick again?

[DarKCentaur]

So then if I get this right. Christian is still #1, Joe is still #2, and Nash is 3?

Hell if I know. That sounds about right though.

[McLegend]

Wow, how did I know AJ wasn't going to pick again?

you read the script?

[Innovator]

So then if I get this right. Christian is still #1, Joe is still #2, and Nash is 3?
technically yes, but cmon its TNA

[BigDaddyCool]

So Final Resilution only has one clusterfuck. Are they sure it is a TNA ppv?

[SuperSlim]

Wow, how did I know AJ wasn't going to pick again?

because that...

is...

so...

BIZARRE!!!

[BigDaddyCool]

you read the script?

I don't read.

[BigDaddyCool]

because that...

is...

so...

BIZARRE!!!

He doesn't still do that.

[SuperSlim]

He doesn't still do that.

I was bored

[BigDaddyCool]

I was bored

ok.

[SuperSlim]

now I'm off to watch a repeat of Family Guy

[Skippord]

I'll have everyone know that I am insanely attracted to Roxxi Laveaux

[BigDaddyCool]

I'll have everyone know that I am insanely attracted to Roxxi Laveaux

You can have her.

[LoDownM]

Velvet Sky is amazinggggg.

I know.