The One
05-14-2008, 03:05 AM
So, since I'm not watching WWE anymore, basically I can only talk TNA with you good people. But since TNA is really nothing more than a giant ball of frozen shit on the hot dry day that is the wrestling landscape, I'm forced cool my wrestling palate with it. Still, it seems that every week I'm left with a resounding echo in the back of my head, not so much a whisper as it is a shouting "WHAT THE FUCK!?"
There are any number of things I could start out with. I mean this is a company chalked full of worthy things to bitch about, but for the first in this weekly event I'm going to focus on TNA announcing the results of their own shows. Sometimes it's big, sometimes it's not. But there are times where someone who's deaf, blind, and slightly retarded could still see the outcome from a mile away.
This is something that really pissed me off about Lockdown. Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle for the Title. OK, so it's one thing to have a career vs. title match, 99% of the time, someone new is holding gold. But with how much they drove that home, they might as well have simply said "Watch Lockdown! Samoa Joe will win the belt!" When they first announced it I more or less knew, we all did, but then they harped on it further the next week with him saying even it wasn't about getting the win, if he wasn't champ he would leave. OK, so DQ or Dusty finishes are out of the question. And then it was he would never wrestle, anywhere, ever. Now that's when I just went, WTF! There were some baseless internet rumors that Joe was not happy with the new TNA contract and he might not sign, which then opened the door for if he would go back to RoH or jump up to WWE. Now, the margin of people who knew that was VERY small, and it wasn't true, but that's like 50 smarkish marks who could have possibly convinced themselves that maybe, just MAYBE Joe would lose...until they say he wouldn't wrestle anywhere.
Now let's look at the build up to Sacrifice; Awesome Kong is announced as one of the Egotistical 8 - show goes off the air. Begin rolling for TNA Today online exclusive stuff, BG says it's crazy she's in the tourny, but he hopes she is his partner. Then the next week he cuts another promo saying that they only person who he'd like to team with is Kong. Come PPV; *SWERVE!* It's Kong. Oh wait, no, that's not a swerve, that's a fucking bus of obvious hitting you in the face. And while we're on the topic of the tournament, I harped on this in another thread...but LAX was doing NOTHING. Then suddenly they win to qualify to get in the tournament. Then for reasons still beyond comprehension they bring Hector Guerrero up from the Spanish booth and say they want to mootch off the name "Guerrero" on their way to winning the belts. Then, as if summoning the dead spirit of Eddie wasn't enough of a "we get it" point, they are the ONLY team out of 8 to get a hype video on the Impact before the PPV. Nah, they wouldn't be that fucking obvious about it? Yeah, they would.
I know it's hard to fool people all the time, because after a while we've seen it all and know what to expect. But still, there are times when TNA's booking is so obvious that I'm almost expecting them to do the opposite, if for no other reason than the only possible justification of the hype they do is for an occasional "OMG" moment. I think the last time TNA did ANYTHING that made me sit up and say "I didn't see that coming" was back in 2007 when Christian Cage jobbed out to Kaz.
So there you have it.
TNA, WHAT THE FUCK is up with over obvious booking?
There are any number of things I could start out with. I mean this is a company chalked full of worthy things to bitch about, but for the first in this weekly event I'm going to focus on TNA announcing the results of their own shows. Sometimes it's big, sometimes it's not. But there are times where someone who's deaf, blind, and slightly retarded could still see the outcome from a mile away.
This is something that really pissed me off about Lockdown. Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle for the Title. OK, so it's one thing to have a career vs. title match, 99% of the time, someone new is holding gold. But with how much they drove that home, they might as well have simply said "Watch Lockdown! Samoa Joe will win the belt!" When they first announced it I more or less knew, we all did, but then they harped on it further the next week with him saying even it wasn't about getting the win, if he wasn't champ he would leave. OK, so DQ or Dusty finishes are out of the question. And then it was he would never wrestle, anywhere, ever. Now that's when I just went, WTF! There were some baseless internet rumors that Joe was not happy with the new TNA contract and he might not sign, which then opened the door for if he would go back to RoH or jump up to WWE. Now, the margin of people who knew that was VERY small, and it wasn't true, but that's like 50 smarkish marks who could have possibly convinced themselves that maybe, just MAYBE Joe would lose...until they say he wouldn't wrestle anywhere.
Now let's look at the build up to Sacrifice; Awesome Kong is announced as one of the Egotistical 8 - show goes off the air. Begin rolling for TNA Today online exclusive stuff, BG says it's crazy she's in the tourny, but he hopes she is his partner. Then the next week he cuts another promo saying that they only person who he'd like to team with is Kong. Come PPV; *SWERVE!* It's Kong. Oh wait, no, that's not a swerve, that's a fucking bus of obvious hitting you in the face. And while we're on the topic of the tournament, I harped on this in another thread...but LAX was doing NOTHING. Then suddenly they win to qualify to get in the tournament. Then for reasons still beyond comprehension they bring Hector Guerrero up from the Spanish booth and say they want to mootch off the name "Guerrero" on their way to winning the belts. Then, as if summoning the dead spirit of Eddie wasn't enough of a "we get it" point, they are the ONLY team out of 8 to get a hype video on the Impact before the PPV. Nah, they wouldn't be that fucking obvious about it? Yeah, they would.
I know it's hard to fool people all the time, because after a while we've seen it all and know what to expect. But still, there are times when TNA's booking is so obvious that I'm almost expecting them to do the opposite, if for no other reason than the only possible justification of the hype they do is for an occasional "OMG" moment. I think the last time TNA did ANYTHING that made me sit up and say "I didn't see that coming" was back in 2007 when Christian Cage jobbed out to Kaz.
So there you have it.
TNA, WHAT THE FUCK is up with over obvious booking?