Official Raw is Alive or Dead Thread (7/14/08): Kane, May 19th went <------ that way

[KingofOldSchool]

http://www.wwe.com/content/media/images/3883682/7600630

Preview:The Animal's Big Bash
July 14, 2008

Since CM Punk became World Heavyweight Champion, he has been mobbed by Superstars hoping to get their opportunity to win it away from him. With neither a General Manager or the WWE Chairman to set matches, last Monday night saw John Cena, Batista, Kane and JBL face off in a Fatal Four Way Match to determine which of them should face Punk at The Great American Bash. Batista won the contest and will compete for the World Title in just two short weeks. How will The Animal garner momentum in the coming weeks?

After Batista pinned Kane in the Fatal Four Way, the Big Red Monster went on a rampage outside the ring, manhandling WWE production crew and announcers alike, including Jerry “The King” Lawler. While tearing apart the ringside area, Kane screamed “Is he alive or is he dead?” Who is the Big Red Monster referring to, and what other outbursts can we expect from him in the coming weeks?

Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston won his title from Chris Jericho at Night of Champions, and managed to successfully defend it against Y2J. On Monday he continued his winning streak on Raw by defeating Charlie Haas. Before the Jamaican Champion could soak in his victory however, he was brutally assaulted by Paul Burchill, who performed his signature Curb Stomp on Kingston. Does Burchill have his eye on Kingston’s Intercontinental Title? And how long until he faces the Jamaican Superstar in the ring?

In addition to facing one another as part of a Fatal Four Way, John Cena took an extra act of retribution against JBL on Monday Night. Retaliating for being escorted out by the self-made millionaire’s private security force the week before, Cena and Cryme Tyme took crowbars and baseball bats to JBL’s limo. To what lengths will the Longhorn Loudmouth go to get back at the Chain Gang Commander?

To catch all the build up to The Great American Bash, make sure to tune into Raw, Monday nights at 9/8 CT, only on USA Network.

[Indifferent Clox]

Kane is obv talking about his sex life.

[Innovator]

I hope Kane is talking about the aborted fetus between him and Lita

[XL]

As usual...anyone gets a live feed, hook me up?

[KingofOldSchool]

I hope Kane is talking about the aborted fetus between him and Lita

He finds it in a trash can, somehow still alive, so he puts it in a jar and starts carrying it around.

[Indifferent Clox]

or it turns out to be hornswoggle. BUT FINLAY IS THE FATHER.

HOMOSEXUAL FATHERS.

[ClockShot]

"Is he alive or dead
Has he thoughts within his head
We'll just pass him there
Why should we even care"

[Kenny]

Kane is talking about Diesel, and here's why.

Kane was fake Diesel back in 97 or so. Years later, Kane starts throwing a fit over "May 19th."

The last official footage of Diesel was shown on Raw in 97... Watch the 45 second video and see if you catch the connection...

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[Indifferent Clox]

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[Indifferent Clox]

omg destor can you hook me up with that torrent?

[KingofOldSchool]

or it turns out to be hornswoggle. BUT FINLAY IS THE FATHER.

HOMOSEXUAL FATHERS.

Hornswoggle, Finlay, and Kane in the new Fox comedy "My Two Slightly Homosexual Dads"

[Indifferent Clox]

I finally see where this is going.

[Indifferent Clox]

or should i say i FINLAY see where this is going!!!@!!!!!

[loopydate]

WWE RAW is Poopy

[Indifferent Clox]

original

[KingofOldSchool]

That's Batista's title and come this Sunday he's gonna be killing the internet.

[NeanderCarl]

Eeeeeeeeeeeevenin', all.

[Anybody Thrilla]

This should be good.

[FourFifty]

What's up bitches?!?!?!

[ClockShot]

Evening gentlemen.

[NeanderCarl]

This should be good.

Yeah, and this glass is half full.

http://www.ruggedelegantliving.com/a/images/glass.half.full.jpg

[Corndad]

Sup all. Hope to see this streak of good Raws continue tonight.

[NeanderCarl]

Kane's getting the big intro feature, over their championship situation??

[KingofOldSchool]

IS IT MARGARINE OR IS IT BUTTER?!?!?

[FourFifty]

Sup all. Should see if this streak of good Raws continues tonight.


.....you clearly missed last week's Raw.

[Anybody Thrilla]

I think it would have been even better if Kane WON that match and then still flipped out the exact same way.

[Corndad]

Maybe Kanes just mad JR isnt calling his matches and thought someone killed him lol

[NeanderCarl]

I can't handle another Kane vs Undertaker feud.... if that's where we're headed...

[Anybody Thrilla]

Kane's getting the big intro feature, over their championship situation??

The championship situation was the first half of the same video. Chill out.

[FourFifty]

IS IT MARGARINE OR IS IT BUTTER?!?!?


I DON'T KNOWWWWW!!!1!!!!11!!!!!!one!!!!eleven!!!!1

[KingofOldSchool]

Lawler took his sweet time saving Cole.

[Corndad]

.....you clearly missed last week's Raw.

Punk left as champion and actually gonna do something with Kane. Good enough in my book lol

[ClockShot]

Pleas for unity, eh.

Gee, um, GET A GM!

[Hanso Amore]

I really do like this no one in charge shit.

[KingofOldSchool]

Unauthorized World Title win???

[FourFifty]

I hope they're talking about the return of King Regal.

[Corndad]

Starting already? lol

[ClockShot]

:rofl:

[Hanso Amore]

LOL IT OPENS INTO A FIGHT IN PROGRESS LOL!

[KingofOldSchool]

BAH GAWD THEY ARE BRAWLING

[Anybody Thrilla]

Well that was unexpected.

[FourFifty]

ZOMG!!! CHAOS!!!!!

[NeanderCarl]

:lol: nice way to open.

Reminds me of back when Raw started in 1993 when you kinda felt that literally anything could happen, at any old random time.

[owenbrown]

lol after that taped segment with Shane & Stephanie, Michaels & Jericho are fighting :lol:

[Corndad]

Wow. this actually is a cool way to start the show.

[Hanso Amore]

Damn, they are coming out swinging tonight

[KingofOldSchool]

LOL Cole is scared

[ClockShot]

OHHH OHHH OHHH

What's in the bag?

[Anybody Thrilla]

Also we won't have to wait all show for Kane's explanation.

[Xerzes]

It seems somehow unwise to open a show with a fight between two guys in jeans and similar colored shirts.

Also: A THOUSAND THUMBTACKS!

[FourFifty]

<strike>I wonder what's in Kane's sack?</strike>

Nevermind, that sounded way too homo, even for tpww.net's standards.

[KingofOldSchool]

Cole's gonna get his ass raped

Cole's gonna get his wig split

[Hanso Amore]

Kane needs to go on like a 200 match Squash of legit contenders and let him be champ. I would buy it.

[NeanderCarl]

I hope the entire episode in anarchic like this, that would make for a sweet one-off Raw.

[KingofOldSchool]

I'M SORRY

[Hanso Amore]

Im sorry? WTF

[owenbrown]

"I'M SORRY!" ?! :wtf:

[Anybody Thrilla]

He's about as sorry as Chris Jericho was when he turned heel in WCW.

[Xerzes]

Or:

...I was going to suggest it was an apology in the form of a bag of candy, or possibly delicious beef jerky. Then he apologized, and now it isn't funny.

[Hanso Amore]

LOL MAD FIGHTING!

[Corndad]

I'm sorry? lol Now Mickie. This is amazing lol

[ClockShot]

LOL! HBK finds Cade.

Loving this right now.

[Hanso Amore]

WTF Is this Impact with this clusterfuck shit?

HOLY SHIT Mickie is HOT

[ClockShot]

Katie Lea in ring attire #1. Again...

[Hanso Amore]

Katie is fucking ugly.

And kind of pudgy

[NeanderCarl]

It's Katie Lea! Body off Baywatch, face off Crimewatch.

[KingofOldSchool]

Katie and her only outfit

[KingofOldSchool]

Cue Regal returning next week

[FourFifty]

There's just something that's way too freakin' hot about Katie Lee Burchill. She looks like the kind of girl who would handcuff you to the bed.

[JT]

WTF Is this Impact with this clusterfuck shit?

HOLY SHIT Mickie is HOT

With exception that TNA does crazy shit that will never makes sense and no one cares about.

As of now there is still potential, I know why HBK and Y2J went at it, and it's very interesting imo.

[Hanso Amore]

Katie Lea is like the chick in high school you might have dated if she wasnt so poor. Like she always wears the same JNCO Jeans years after they were cool and the Tweetie Bird T shirt thats faded.

Poor chicks suck.

[FourFifty]

I would kill to be Micke right now.

[Hanso Amore]

IS CHelsea a rough area? Or a snobbish? What are they going at by stressing that?

[Anybody Thrilla]

Katie Lea seemed pretty decent when I watched her in OVW, but something about her wrestling has seemed 'off' since her WWE debut. I like the character, though.

[Corndad]

Katie Lea is like the chick in high school you might have dated if she wasnt so poor. Like she always wears the same JNCO Jeans years after they were cool and the Tweetie Bird T shirt thats faded.

Poor chicks suck.

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Kenny]

I think Kane's mask was in the bag.

So he could be talking about Fake Kane, being that's one of the last angles he had on Raw.

I hope, he's talking about his former self.

[KingofOldSchool]

MICKIE WINS

[Hanso Amore]

Incoming Kofi

[Corndad]

Cue Cena

[Corndad]

or Kofi lol both think they are black lol

[FourFifty]

Katie Lea is like the chick in high school you might have dated if she wasnt so poor. Like she always wears the same JNCO Jeans years after they were cool and the Tweetie Bird T shirt thats faded.

Poor chicks suck.

Yea, but they're easy to impress. Take them to Del Taco a few times, or Dennys, and you're a "big spender"

On another note, KOFI!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hanso Amore]

Kofi's pants fell off lol

[NeanderCarl]

IS CHelsea a rough area? Or a snobbish? What are they going at by stressing that?

I think it's mainly a middle-class area.

[Xerzes]

Damn negroes with their pants hanging off their asses.

[ClockShot]

Java man.

[KingofOldSchool]

THERE BE TROUBLE WITH COFFEE'S PANTS

[Anybody Thrilla]

Katie should have stolen the women's title to add to the anarchy. Also, LOL @ Kofi's pants falling off.

[sugar butt]

so i think it has started out pretty decent....it was getting rather boring until mcmahon disappeared again...

[Londoner]

Very good start to raw imo!!

[owenbrown]

OMGZ! IT'Z ANARCHYZ ON RAW!!!!1!!!one!!1!

[Hanso Amore]

Katie should have stole some fucking clothes.

I mean....COme on, the ones she has arent even NICE

[Hanso Amore]

JBL should Pretty Woman Katie, get her some clothes and shit...Or Dibiase, and dump Burchill.

[sugar butt]

so.....Kofi and Mickie......cena's gonna be pissed!!!

[Hanso Amore]

No one has kicked out after the Curbstomp? You mean all 3 of them were pinned?

[Innovator]

OMG WHATS GOING ON SO BIZARRE

[Hanso Amore]

Did King Just say slide down the list of contenders on a loss?

Explain batista!

[FourFifty]

so.....Kofi and Mickie......cena's gonna be pissed!!!


From one black man to another, I'm sure Cena'll understand. Can't keep a white piece of ass to yourself, nigga.

[Anybody Thrilla]

I can't decide if I like Kingston or Burchill more.

[Anybody Thrilla]

From one black man to another, I'm sure Cena'll understand. Can't keep a white piece of ass to yourself, nigga.

Shut the fuck up, faggot.

[Hanso Amore]

KOfi is mad over

[Londoner]

Enjoyed that IC title match. Kofi improves every week.

[ClockShot]

Alright match.

[Innovator]

Thunderclap '65

[Hanso Amore]

I love that wheel kick. Johnny Jeter had a better looking one though.

[Corndad]

Santino and Striker. lol

[ClockShot]

Striker.

[Anybody Thrilla]

I couldn't even tell that was Matt Striker at first.

[Hanso Amore]

LOL PEPSI MACHINE!

[Corndad]

PEPSI MACHINE LOL

[Innovator]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

WHERE IS PUNK

you check the Pepsi machine?

[Anybody Thrilla]

KANE: Where is Punk?

SANTINO: Did you try the Pepsi Machine?

:lol::lol::lol:

[Hanso Amore]

Tums.

Santino is amazing.

They should have him and Striker together.

Heat Factory.

[KingofOldSchool]

PEPSI MACHINE FTW

[FourFifty]

:rofl: Santino is the greatest comedy persona of our time.

[owenbrown]

LMAO SANTINO DOWNING TUMS :rofl:

[KingofOldSchool]

Punk's gonna get his ass kicked.

[sugar butt]

Apparently once you go black you don't go back????? I've never had that happen to me.....please someone tell me if this is true......

[Innovator]

Punk's gonna get his wig split

[DaVe]

I missed the start to Raw. Was Kane - just then - his first appearance of the night? Or did he do something earlier near the very start?

[Londoner]

Gotta love santino.

[Hanso Amore]

Punk is going to get his shit pushed in.


Wait....Was that Heidenreich that was asking?

[Johnny Vegas]

lol idk why, but owenbrown's avatar is hilarious to me. Like, why would you have THAT avatar, ya know

[KingofOldSchool]

Punk vs. Kane tonight

[Hanso Amore]

MAsk is in the bag.

The "Dead" is the masked Kane.

[Londoner]

Not liking the way they're making Kane act, justs eems like the may 19th thing all over again.

[KingofOldSchool]

Kane's coocoo for cocoa puffs

[Londoner]

MAsk is in the bag.

The "Dead" is the masked Kane.

God i hope so!

[ClockShot]

I think everyone is safe, Cole.

[Corndad]

Cenas pissed about Mickie lol

[FourFifty]

The more I see Punk as a face the more I like him as a face, but I still love Punk as a heel.

[ClockShot]

He ain't special!

[KingofOldSchool]

Hmmm $5 says Punk wins (or loses if you want to think like that) the poll.

[Hanso Amore]

Poopy Joke in

3

2

1

[Hanso Amore]

I wonder how long it will be until someone brings a gun to a "No DQ" match.

[Anybody Thrilla]

Remember Cena v. Eddie in that parking lot brawl on SmackDOWN!?

[owenbrown]

any fucking idiot that wastes their text messages on this shitty poll deserves to have an insanely high cell phone bill

[KingofOldSchool]

Cena doesn't like JBL, JBL is now on anti-depressants.

[FourFifty]

Cena is a better worker and and a better talker than most people give him credit for. His problem isn't him, it was how he was shoved down our pikes faster than Lesnar was. Also, much like Punk, he was better as a heel.

[Anybody Thrilla]

OH NO!!! NOT AN INSANELY HIGH CELL PHONE BILL!!!!!

I have unlimited texts, btw. It's only like 20 extra bucks a month.

[KingofOldSchool]

Cena is Anti-American, Cena is actually Muhammad Hassan.

[sugar butt]

cena croaks from bein pissed as he talks....

[Corndad]

well least this is better then poop jokes.

[Anybody Thrilla]

Has JBL gotten any wins during this feud? Maybe one pinfall in a tag match on a Raw or something?

[DaVe]

Not liking the way they're making Kane act, justs eems like the may 19th thing all over again.

Yeah, same. Not liking Cena's Real American deal either.

[Londoner]

Cena is a better worker and and a better talker than most people give him credit for. His problem isn't him, it was how he was shoved down our pikes faster than Lesnar was. Also, much like Punk, he was better as a heel.

I agree.

[loopydate]

This is actually a pretty good promo.

[Anybody Thrilla]

What has JBL ever done to Cryme Tyme anyway?

[KingofOldSchool]

JBL/Priceless Rhodes vs. CTC

[Hanso Amore]

I fucking Hate Cena.

[Innovator]

You see Cena? A poop joke free promo = decent promo

[KingofOldSchool]

If you want some...COME GET SOME!

You don't like me....BITE ME!

[Hanso Amore]

JBL/Priceless Rhodes vs. CTC

Yup, I agree

[Johnny Vegas]

Has JBL gotten any wins during this feud? Maybe one pinfall in a tag match on a Raw or something?

Rest assure, he's getting one tonight. Just because you said that.

[ClockShot]

BRING ON FRIDAY ALREADY!

[Innovator]

If you want some...COME GET SOME!

You don't like me....BITE ME!
Rick Steiner returned?

[Anybody Thrilla]

Not that I even care about JBL, but if they're going to make the feud interesting at all, both sides should at least get some wins in. As it stands, Cena is OBVIOUSLY going over at Great American Bash, and not just because he's Cena.

[Johnny Vegas]

And that actually isn't a bad match. CTC v. JBL & Priceless. Should be a good match with two young, up-and-coming heels.

BTW, those two (priceless) need to form a stable of some sort called "The Fraternity" or "Legacy".

[Hanso Amore]

That Guitar Hero for DS is pretty fucking creative.

[KingofOldSchool]

Santino vs. Batista

[Hanso Amore]

Santino has the best theme ever.

[Corndad]

So whos he jobbin to tonight.

[FourFifty]

Let it be Killings!!!!

[Corndad]

Beth Phoenix?? lol

[KingofOldSchool]

LOL THE GLAMAZON

[Hanso Amore]

LOL BETH PHOENIX! HAHAHAHAHAHA

SHe is so fucking hot.

[ClockShot]

Beth Phoenix. Nice.

[Johnny Vegas]

lol wtf

[FourFifty]

ROF-FUCKING-L!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS GOING TO BE FUCKING GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Londoner]

Santino gonna job to Beth..

[Anybody Thrilla]

Don't treat her like a woman. Don't treat her like a man. Don't treat her like you know her. Just treat her for who she is.

[owenbrown]

ROFL @ SANTINO FEARS LUIGI :rofl:

[Hanso Amore]

I ever tell you guys I met her in high school?

She wrestled for Canisus, our rival. SHe was a year or 2 older.

[Innovator]

Ahahaha Santino is gonna job to the Glamazon

[Hanso Amore]

I HAVE THE POWER OF A MAN!!!!

[KingofOldSchool]

FLIRT WITH HER SANTINO!

[Anybody Thrilla]

If Santino hired Beth as a bodyguard, it would be amazing.

[Corndad]

Trying to feel her up LOL

[Londoner]

So beths turning face i guess?

[Johnny Vegas]

LOL "I'm a man"

[Hanso Amore]

I love Santino's in ring shit talking!

[Innovator]

AHAHAHAHAHA

[Anybody Thrilla]

Huge pop for Beth Phoenix. This isn't going to lead to a face turn is it?

[sugar butt]

MY WOMAN IS BACK!!!!

[owenbrown]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BETH WINS!!

[Hanso Amore]

This will lead to Roucka debuting on Santino's side.

[KingofOldSchool]

That's the most reaction Beth has ever gotten

[FourFifty]

That was nothing short of classic.

[Innovator]

Kelly.......wow

[Anybody Thrilla]

Sweet fuck, Kelly is hot.

[ClockShot]

Interesting.

Christ I thought that was Terri Runnels right there.

[KingofOldSchool]

mmmm Kelly Kelly shakes like Jelly Jelly

[Hanso Amore]

Kane needs to start wearing red again, or change his name to the Big Slightly Red Machine.

[Hanso Amore]

Kelly Kelly isnt hot at all to me. At least not there.

[KingofOldSchool]

They finally have an actual, non-Photoshopped graphic of Punk with the title.

[Anybody Thrilla]

Kelly Kelly isnt hot at all to me. At least not there.

Well, you do like chicks with dicks, so I'm afraid to say that your opinion on the matter is completely null and void. Sorry man.

[MrSpikeLee]

I don't think Kane's mask is in that bag..

I think it might be the urn. :D

[Innovator]

I'd do Kelly, I'd even pay

[MrSpikeLee]

Well, you do like chicks with dicks, so I'm afraid to say that your opinion on the matter is completely null and void. Sorry man.

Whats wrong with chicks with dicks? at least if you ever decided to turn gay, hey presto you have a girl with a dick :P. she wouldn't mind.

[FourFifty]

Well, you do like chicks with dicks, so I'm afraid to say that your opinion on the matter is completely null and void. Sorry man.

I was about to agree with him, but Thrilla makes a valid point.... I'm not going to say what I feel about Kelly Kelly.

[Hanso Amore]

Well, you do like chicks with dicks, so I'm afraid to say that your opinion on the matter is completely null and void. Sorry man.

I like normal chicks, and I like chicks with dicks.

I dont combine my thoughts on them

I have chick taste, and tranny taste.

ANd Kelly is shit.

[Londoner]

hate this theme of kelly kellys

[Xerzes]

She's boring and worthless.

Also, needs to either wear pants, or not. The middle ground thing is weird.

[Innovator]

Cmon LAYLA, the feud cannot die

[Corndad]

Alot of woman wrestling goin on tonight.

[FourFifty]

Sweet, Priceless! Kelly vs CAWdy!

[Innovator]

THE CHAMPS ARE HURRRR

[Anybody Thrilla]

I'm glad that tuned that theme song up a little with some guitars.

[ClockShot]

Money Inc. 2.0

[KingofOldSchool]

lol what are they doing here???

[Londoner]

now wtf

[Hanso Amore]

BUY HER CONTRACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hanso Amore]

DUde, American Eagle fans are horny with those 2 in the ring.

[Londoner]

Alot of woman wrestling goin on tonight.

Not now. :D

[Johnny Vegas]

lLOL that was awesome

[KingofOldSchool]

Awwww poor Kelly, I'll comfort you!

[Anybody Thrilla]

They used Kelly just to get Priceless some heel heat. That's just fine. :y:

[Londoner]

Loving how wwe are paying attention to tag champs again, like they're with miz/morrisson.

[owenbrown]

lol idk why, but owenbrown's avatar is hilarious to me. Like, why would you have THAT avatar, ya know

your answers lie in these two threads

http://www.tpww.net/forums/showthread.php?t=72304&page=4

http://www.tpww.net/forums/showthread.php?t=81290

[FourFifty]

Bring out Bobcore, let him kill them....

[MrSpikeLee]

oh no two gay guys talking crap on now, how did they get the tag titles

[Anybody Thrilla]

TDJ's voice almost sounds like his dad's at times.

[KingofOldSchool]

lol like being tag champs nowadays is worth bragging about

[Corndad]

Hacksaws gonna get owned. lol

[Hanso Amore]

DUGGAN!

[Innovator]

...well this RAW was good until Hacksaw came out

[ClockShot]

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW does he still have a job?

[KingofOldSchool]

HOOOOOOOOOOO!

Hacksaw's gonna get his old ass kicked.

[Anybody Thrilla]

If Hacksaw Jim Duggan is a contender to your title, get rid of it.

[KingofOldSchool]

Does Hacksaw have a little Hacksaw?

[Xerzes]

No one cares about what Jim Duggan thinks.

[Anybody Thrilla]

Oh wait, Hacksaw's bringing the promo goodness.

[KingofOldSchool]

Duggan totally forgets about the Rat Pack.

[FourFifty]

Ya know, I made a lot of retard jokes when Nick Dinsmore was still under contract... With Hacksaw, it's not a joke.

[Hanso Amore]

Another Old VS. New fued.

[Londoner]

Well atleast this means they wont be dropping the titles anytime soon.

[Hanso Amore]

Damn, an effective Duggan Promo.

[Hanso Amore]

LOL GYM SHORTS!

[Anybody Thrilla]

Cody is on fire tonight.

[Londoner]

hahahahahahahha nice one cody!!!!!!

[owenbrown]

Hacksaw is gonna get his ass kicked

[KingofOldSchool]

LOL CAWdy speaks the truth

[Londoner]

tellin it like it is

[Innovator]

CAWdy owns Duggan: +15 Charisma

[KingofOldSchool]

LOL Doogan is going to cry

[Anybody Thrilla]

Holy shit, I am loving this.

[Hanso Amore]

I kind of feel bad..

I know its a show, but its also true.

Poor Duggan

[FourFifty]

Calling it now- Summerslam, Hacksaw and Bobcore vs Priceless.

[Londoner]

God i love this raw

[Hanso Amore]

OOOOOOO

Jbl and the Younings!

[Anybody Thrilla]

Perfect segue into JBL. YESSSSSSSS