Remakes

[Confused]

So, TV and movie remakes...why are they generally so shite? Why does Hollywood think we really want to see a classic movie, Tv show etc remade for the big screen? It generally ends in tears all round.

I was reading Kalyx' thread on Movie news and he had a trailer for Quarantine. A remake of a Spanish movie thats barely been out for over a year! Seriously, why bother with it when you can rent the original or buy it for next to nothing off the internet. I know some will argue about the subtitles etc, but seriously, if you love movies they're not much of an obstacle, are they?

Off the top of my head i'll name a few remakes i've heard of recently that are seriously unwanted ---

Robocop - Just rent the original. I know they're reported it as a continuation, but, if Verhoeven and the original writer and cast aren't involved i have zero interest.

Escape From New York - Seriously, fuck off Hollywood.

The Thing - Again, what the fuck are they thinking? They'd only ruin it. I know its a remake but Carpenter took a ropey sci-fi movie and made it something special.

Hellraiser - * despairs *

State Of Play - One of my favourite tv shows is now a big Hollywood movie with Crowe and Affleck starring. Rent the TV show for the love of God. Little titbit, it features James McAvoy in a supporting role before he went onto major fame in The Last King of Scotland and Wanted.

The Dirty Dozen - Fuck sake.


I'm pretty sure we can all add our own unwanted remakes. Why not add the remakes that were actually welcome. They'll be few and far between.

Mine would be Croenenbergs The Fly. Great movie. Took the premise from a shite 50s B-movie and made an unsettling movie that i still watch every once in a while.

[Jeritron]

My favorite remake is probably Peter Jackson's King Kong. Classic story that was worthy of an update with modern filmmaking and effects for a new generation, but also done in a way that paid justice to the original.

My other favorite remakes are Carpenter's The Thing and Cronenberg's The Fly.
Like you said, they took two hokey B movies and turned em into horror masterpeices.

My least favorite remake, thus far, is probably Rob Zombie's Halloween. Took a classic cornerstone of horror movies that in no way needed an update and brought it down to the level of garbage horror movies, as well as completely undermining the things that made the story work in the first place.


The key to a remake is if theres a reason to it. If the original doesn't need an update, or can't be explored further with respect to what it's supposed to be, don't do it.

[El Vaquero de Infierno]

The "re-imagined" series of battlestar galactica is far superior to the original series. But then again, there was nowhere else but up to go from that cheese-fest.

[Kalyx triaD]

There was this Kung Fu movie where the main hero teamed with guy hunting down those who killed his family; but the guy he was working with was apart of that band and he knew it all along. So he was working with the guy who killed his wife. Maybe the best story in any old school kung fu movie I ever seen.

That could be adapted into a cool movie.

[Confused]

The "re-imagined" series of battlestar galactica is far superior to the original series. But then again, there was nowhere else but up to go from that cheese-fest.

Great shout. BSG is fantastic tv.

[Supreme Olajuwon]

I was reading Kalyx' thread on Movie news and he had a trailer for Quarantine. A remake of a Spanish movie thats barely been out for over a year! Seriously, why bother with it when you can rent the original or buy it for next to nothing off the internet. I know some will argue about the subtitles etc, but seriously, if you love movies they're not much of an obstacle, are they?



This thought process led to the creation of The Departed from a 2002 Chinese movie so as much as the logic behind it might not make sense, I can't really complain.

[Supreme Olajuwon]

I think remakes are on the same plane as most forms of entertainment. Most of it is shit with occasional brilliance thrown in to keep you guessing. However, since these movies are remakes of stuff people already love, they get more publicity and hype and when they fail you hear about it.

[Confused]

This thought process led to the creation of The Departed from a 2002 Chinese movie so as much as the logic behind it might not make sense, I can't really complain.

The problem though is that not all remakes are going to have a fella like Scorsese working behind the scenes who basically took the premise of the Chinese original and re-jigged it into a pretty great film from what, in my opinion, was a very overrated original movie.

[Mr Regal]

If the remake Hellraiser I hope all those involved are plunged into an eternal hell for their sins. And the thing as well, fucking hell...are the people involved in these things complete fucking idiots?

[Kalyx triaD]

Did you know Hellraiser has little to do with Hell or demons? The title was more of a throw away.

[Mr Regal]

Yeah but i want them to burn in hell, they have less chance of talking the devil round to letting them out.

[Kane Knight]

Primarily because most things which are done well are hard to recapture. And since you usually don't remake shitty movies, there's a better chance of things going wrong.

There's also the "Dean Koontz" effect.

Let me start off by saying that I've never actually read a Koontz book. I don't even know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. What I do know is that There have been a ton of Dean Koontz books turned into movies, and the people who make them always want to change "one thing." In the case of Phantoms, that involved changing the key points of the plot. In the case of his Frankenstein series, they changed it so much he wanted out of the project. In other cases....Well, it tends to vary.

Everyone wants to put their mark on a product, and that tends to fuck up the mojo that made it work in the first place.

[The Mackem]

Steve Martin - Pink Panther

Psycho

I tend to stay away from most and if I manage to accidentally watch them, they don't stay on long.