WWE RAW Captions [3-22-2004] [Archive]

View Full Version : WWE RAW Captions [3-22-2004]

Corkscrewed

03-23-2004, 04:38 PM

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*NOTE: Okay, now I know what everyone was talking about when they were guffawing over Flair's "Scared Shitless" face last night. That IS CLASSIC! :lol: :lol: :rofl:

Loose Cannon

03-23-2004, 04:51 PM

OMG, they have the Flair caption. You got to hear his scream though Cork, it sounded like a little girl. :lol:

tucsonspeed6

03-23-2004, 05:14 PM

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After spending all of his free cash on late night munchies at Taco Bell, RVD realized that the cheeper Bookerbot was no substitute for for the Ortonbot

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Ref: Ok class, does anyone here know what this move is called?
Rhyno: OOH OOH!
Ref: Rhyno, let the other children get a chance to answer.

(This is my first caption, so don't yell at me if it isn't funny)

Corkscrewed

03-23-2004, 05:19 PM

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As Eric gloated and laughed, Paul knew he shouldn't have related his story of what Brock had done when he had caught Heyman on the internet just before Lesnar left.

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Heyman: "There's someone under the podium."
(rep for the reference)

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I didn't know RAW was in San Francisco last night...

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Jericho: "Dammit! This Dupree Wheelbarrow is IMPOSSIBLE! I feel like Hardcore Holly with an Easy-Fold Chair!"

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Though he was leaving for SmackDOWN!, HHH knew that his new Faster-Pouncing Invisible Crucifix would be more than a suitable substitute until he returned with the WWE Championship and the SD! roster's credibility.

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Much do Renee's dismay, Austin proved to be as good of a line-dance instructor as he was an American Idol contestant.

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At that moment, Austin regretted his earlier words in the lockerroom: "If drinking on national TV is a sin, may God strike me down before the people!"

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Kane had the win all sewn up until he spotted the shiny quarter.

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First he gets buried by the Undertaker, then he's forced to strip naked and dance around until Bischoff and Heyman run into act as human censors. And they said Kane's career couldn't sink any lower...

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Jindrak and Cade shared a heart-warming goodbye before Mark departed to fight the Anti-Triple H Crusades in the distant lands of SmackDOWN!

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Nidia figured the narcs would never catch her if she smuggled drugs in her "enhancements," but they proved cleverer than she anticipated.

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Heyman was pissed off. How come Cena got a Microphone Lollipop and he didn't???

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Cena: "Paul, you're about to be drafted onto RAW so that Stephanie can replace you on SmackDOWN! and ruin all the great work you've done recently. Take this red pill, and you can forget it all and save yourself from your impending humiliation."

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Flair and Hunter couldn't believe it. So it was BATISTA who had drawn that marker beard on Flair's face!

OR

Ric and Hunter didn't buy into Batista's urgent claims that Gollum was sneaking up behind them to steal back his precious.

OR

Batista: "Hunter! You're leaving? But now who will make the Kool-Aid?"

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Roses and chocolates were nice, but when it came to winning Trish's heart, nothing compared to the bravery of picking your nose with two fingers live on the air.

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The match quickly degenerated when Christian and the ref became caught up in a "You're a homo"/"**** you" gesture war.

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The single negative side effect to dating a bombshell like Trish Stratus was that she had the most unnerving ability to point and make the glass ceiling crash down on your head at random, as Christian unfortunately found out.

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Steven Richards debuts his "Random Anal Rapist" gimmick.

OR

As you can see, their horrible intro music was enough to make even Booker T keel to the ground in disgust.

OR

Booker wasn't exactly sure, but having an RVD grow out of your back was definitely NOT one of the listed side effects of drinking Evolution Kool-Aid.

OR

Booker T gathered up what was left of his credibility after it was dropped to the floor by Triple H, who had finished vilely degrading it.

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Booker: "Ric, get up! Now is NOT the time to play Patty Cake!"

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Flair had the match won until Chioda unleashed the Referee's Elbow on him.

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Batisa: 'Must... resist... urge... to dig into.... his ass..."

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Flair: "You just had to dig in there, didn't ya?"
Batista: "Hey, at least I pulled out these nifty belts!"

OR

They might have won, but Batista was disgusted when he learned that his impending push had beeh given to Rhyno, who would be coming to RAW.

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Wow, Rhyno didn't even have the move locked in and Hebner had already called for the bell and was now walking to the back.

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With a newfound appreciation for all food vendors, Rhyno decided to support them and buy something whenever a vendor came by, no matter what was happening at the moment.

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Heyman: *reads a piece of paper that says
Upcoming Angles: Stephanie will take over SmackDOWN! and then singlehanded bury your future ECW faction when she defeats all of them herserlf in a gauntlet match.
Signed, Vincent K. McMahon*
"Dammit, Eric! WHY THE HELL DID YOU CONVINCE ME TO TAKE THE BLUE PILL???"

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At first I thought that was Triple H, and I was wondering how he went from a lether jacket to changed and ready for a match so quickly... :$
A returning Edge didn't endear himself to the fans when he started spitting loogies at people sitting at ringside.

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It also didn't help that he'd aligned himself with Rita Repulsa.

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Ah yes, the determined look of a man who has a whole new roster to bury.

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First order of business: Enlist the gravitational manipulation services of Chavo to make Eddie's lowrider flip over and kill him, thus forfeiting the WWE Heavyweight Championship to Hunter Hearst Helmsley.

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Hunter: "The belt is mine! Give it to me!" *pat pat* "What the... you mean it's NOT attached to your torso?"

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Eddie couldn't believe his luck. In this position, he was actually holding Triple H down right now!

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Eddie had finally met his match, as Hunter lied, cheated, then stole Belty away from him and ran like heck to the back.

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When the zombies ambushed RAW, Big Show found himself in an unfamiliar ██████████ this time, other wrestlers were trying to eat him!

Corkscrewed

03-23-2004, 05:20 PM

Eternalone79

03-23-2004, 05:40 PM

Heyman: "There's someone under the podium."
(rep for the reference)

Police Acadamy

loopydate

03-23-2004, 06:29 PM

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PAUL: ...and that's why the signs say "Low Bridge."

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Unfortunately, Shopzone's new "Paul in a Box" toy wasn't a very hot seller.

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Watching at the White House, George W. Bush gets a sudden urge to bomb Scarsdale, NY.

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CHRIS: Well, Rene, I have good news and bad news.
RENE: Give me the good first.
CHRIS: You're no longer severed in half.
RENE: Bien. What is the bad?
CHRIS: ...I was holding the directions backwards.
RENE: Merde!

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RENE: Ayyyyyyyyyy! Ha ha ha! I mock you!
CHRIS: But my band's name is "Fozzy," not "Fonzy."
RENE: Merde!

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RENE: I 'ave seen zis done on RAW before, but I cannot remember what comes ne--merde!

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GOD: Who drinketh from mine communion beer?
AUSTIN: I'll be damned...
GOD: Yes, I'm afraid so.

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Jackie stifles a laugh. Kane still hadn't figured out that she'd spread Chia seeds all over his pillow!

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KANE: I did NOT have sexual relations with that corpse. This press conference is over!

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While Cade and Jindrak say their goodbyes in the foreground, Bubba Ray Dudley attempts to subtly remove the invisible plungers from his forehead.

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The skies opened, and God said... "Put on a freakin' shirt!" And lo, the shirt did falleth from the sky.

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CENA: Yo, I was gonna cut a killer freestyle, but since I'm in Detroit and wearing a Lions #20 jersey...I'm just gonna quit. See ya!

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CENA: Nah, just kidding. If I ever tried anything like that, Vince would rip off my testicles. Like so!
PAUL: :eek:

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DAVE: I can't BELIEVE this! I mean, I'd heard the rumors about you guys, but--
RIC: It's not what it looks like!
DAVE: For the love of Christ, Ric, you've got some still on your face!
KANE: Heh heh heh...

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Christian attempts to hold back the surging bile after Trish finished telling him about her first lesbian experience...with Moolah.

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CHRISTIAN: Hmm... American in fatigues with his head between my legs... But I'm not Saudi.

*Political BaZING! ... :shifty:*

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TRISH: And then Mae joined us...on that table right there!
XTIAN: My head...

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When the announcer claimed it was time for "Hunter Positions..."

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...EVERYONE got ready.

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RIC: Hey, ref, look! His femur is sticking through his skin!
REF: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

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Nobody was ever the same after taking Booker's "Standing Wazzup."

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In the background, Operation Evolution Takedown began to take effect as the sniper took aim...

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Earl had given up on trying to figure out when to ring the bell when people get put in that damned thing. Instead, he had to practice for his next hieroglyphic modeling job.

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RHYNO: Hey, Earl. I'm Rhyno. Good to meet you.
EARL: Hi. I'll just shake your ha--
CHRIS: No, Earl! It's a trap!
RHYNO: Heh heh heh...

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PAUL: You need to get me a doctor right NOW!
ERIC: I don't see what's so important. John castrated you, like, an hour ago, and you're still walking around just fine!
PAUL: But it's turning BLUE!

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EDGE: My thin purple Schwartz is bigger than yours!

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EDGE: Long, dirty blond hair...check. Leather jacket...check. Ripped physique...check. Making long-awaited return from injury on live television...check. Boning the boss' daughter... :naughty:

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BITTER BEER FACE!

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EDDIE (reading): "Caution: Ramp may become icy?" Yeah, right, es--WHOA!

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BRIAN: ...and then I cup my hands like this and say "Zero-time zero-time zero-time zero-time zero-time WCW Champion!" Then I do a Spinaroonie. Pretty cool, huh?
EDDIE: Shouldn't you say "Zero-time" zero times?
HHH: How does he do that?
EDDIE: Heh heh heh.
*Roll-up - One, two, three.*
JR: BAH GAWD LIE CHEAT STEAL SUMBITCH RATTLESNAKE UNPRETTIER BARBECUE SAUCE GAME!

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Why WWE hasn't banned the Giant Swing yet is beyond me.

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Crippling depression: Another side effect of burial. Hungry? Eat the boss' daughter!

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RIC: GRANDMA! YOU'RE BACK!

BigDaddyCool

03-23-2004, 06:39 PM

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God: Austin...we need to talk, you're drinking is becoming a problem.

Austin: What?!?

God: Yes, Stone Cold this is an intervention. Budda, Ali, and Brahman are all here and want you to stop.

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Christian never missed out on a chance to point out homos.

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Ref: Ok, now who knows the capital of Idaho?

Rhyno: OOO, pick me...It's Boise!

faust34

03-23-2004, 06:55 PM

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Hi folks You May remember me, Paul Haymen, Former owner of ECW, where today's WWE jobbers were ECW main eventers. Well folks, ECW is gone and I have got to sell some of these old wrestlers. Our first bidding item is a former ECW champion, Rhyno, do I hear one dollar? Come on folks he hasn't jobbed in 24 hours.

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Vince trying to out do the Zack G angle, unvails his newest superstar Gimpy, the man with no legs.

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See what happens when RVD's luggage gets lost at the airport.

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Fans were shocked when the headless, zombified corpse of Austin came to the ring and attempted to drink some beers.

or

What do you mean hit it in the brain, I hit the ****ing brain!

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The two young lovers embraced one last time before they were sent to two diffrent jobbing shows.

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Strip powerball lottery has become an overnight sensation.

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Triple H, excited at the fact he has a whole new roster to bury, accidently blinds batista with his hold down aura optic blast. This blast, if focused enough, can melt the eyes and careers of mid carders.

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RVD and Booker's reaction at their first viewing of the Best of Triple H 2002-2004 video

or

Booker: Rob I'm gonna be sick I don't think I can watch that HHH-Steph wedding night video anymore.
RVD: Dude, just think of your power animal and slide.

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Flair didn't realize it, but he was in the Triple H position again.

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Batista: I'd like to see you bastards at tpww.net come up with something new, because I've been in this same postion for 3 months!

or

Batista: "Ric, Hunter, Randy, another one is stuck down there again!"

Hunter off stage: "Damn it, 3 weeks in a row with this shit!"

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Batista was so excited about his title win that he accidently Sid's his pants

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lets see April: Cena, May: Guerro, June: Angle, and maybe if I have some time at the end, RVD. Yep my Smackdown burying vacation is all booked.

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wow, that was one hot burrito!

faust34

03-23-2004, 07:12 PM

[IMG]http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/09.jpg
First he gets buried by the Undertaker, then he's forced to strip naked and dance around until Bischoff and Heyman run into act as human censors. And they said Kane's career couldn't sink any lower...

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Jindrak and Cade shared a heart-warming goodbye before Mark departed to fight the Anti-Triple H Crusades in the distant lands of SmackDOWN!

him!

LOL :rofl:

Blue Demon

03-23-2004, 07:15 PM

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You mean there's a whole OTHER roster to be buried???

MVP

03-23-2004, 07:37 PM

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Eric: "Haha you forgot the cream cheese on Hunter's bagel didn't you."

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Heyman: "Vince said I'm supposed to be on my best behavior tonight, and not mention poop. OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?!"

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With Rene Dupree added to Smackdown, the midcard roster now consisted of a mexican midget, a flaming homosexual, a white rapper, and a French fifi.

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Jericho: "Don't try and run away, you got your ass kicked in World War 2, and you're going to get it agian."
Dupree: "Well we going to kick your ass in World War 3,"
Jericho: "What?"
Dupree: N..nothing. :shifty:

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Jericho: "Oh God do you bathe in tripe?"

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Rene: "I just got a new timex, check it ouuuuuuuuttttttt."
Austin: "oooooooooooooooooooooO"

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Rene thought Austin would be more of a gentleman if he replaced the beer in Austin's cans with chardonnay, but it just got him more drunk.

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Kane managed to retrieve the boots from the blob. The world was safe for another day.

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Kane: "Like, OH...MY...GOD, where did you guy buy those blazers? AHHHHHHH!!"

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Cade: "I'm going to miss you man."
Jindrak: "I got something for you to remember me by, here's my pants."

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Contrary to the unpopular "Paul-in-a-Box," the new "Nidia-in-a-box" sold like crazy.

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Heyman was not pleased to see Cena doing his Stephanie McMahon impression.

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Heyman: "Betcha 20 bucks the name in that ball is Triple H."
Cena: "You're on!"

After the show Cena was found hunting for change underneath people's seats.

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Triple H: "I'm drafted to Smackdown? It's a miracle, another roster to bury! This is the best day of my life!"

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Christian's Stephanie McMahon impression wasn't quite as good as Cena's.

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Booker T was definitely not used to RVD's pre-match burn outs.

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Ric: "Hey look man, when Vince told me to whack you, I didn't know he meant this."

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The ref couldn't stop acting like a gorilla while Flair had RVD in the figure four.

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Batista: "UH OH!"
Booker T: "Tell me you did not just do that."

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JR: "To the owner of a yellow Hyundai, your car is being towed."
Rhyno: "Oh this is the perfect time to tell me that JR!"

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Heyman: "My dad could beat up your dad any day of the week."
Eric: "Na-uhhh my dad's the strongest man in the world."

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Much to the surprise of the fans, Edge wasn't forced to cut his hair despite looking remarkably like Triple H.

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Molly Holly REALLY freaked the fans out when she grew a goatee.

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I say old chap you know what's funny, a man in a woman's t-shirt.

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That was the last time Eddie gave the Big Show a ride anywhere.

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In fear of losing the match, Triple H placed the bomb in Eddie's tights.

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Triple H: "What are you doing?! I'm the pitcher and you're the catcher damnit!!"

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Long into the match, Eddie was wishing he didn't sample any of Rene Dupree's chardonnay.

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Ric: "OH MY GOD NOOOOOOOOO!!"
Big Show: "What? All I said was you'll be jobbing the tag team titles to Scott Steiner and Test."

MVP

03-23-2004, 07:39 PM

LOL at faust34's captions.

Rock Bottom

03-23-2004, 07:55 PM

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Eric: Paul, what's that for? I didn't know you broke your neck.
Paul: Yeah, I kept twitching in the booking meetings and eventually I got whiplash.

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We all knew that Paul was in pain, but to take six darvocet pills before the show may not have been such a hot idea.

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Paul happily shook Dupree's hand, winning his bet that eventually SmackDown! would have less Americans than foreigners.

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Jericho's new finisher, The Sharp Figure Cloverleaf Tamer was devastating.

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Rene' proves to us all that the French do indeed enjoy being crucified.

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For once, investigators were able to recover the small black box, when Rene's career crashed hard somewhere in Detroit.

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Austin had become such an alcoholic, that he would remove his own head just to be able to pour the beer straight into his neck.

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Kane: So that's how you tie a shoe...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/09.jpg
Kane: NEVER COPY MY WHOPPER AGAIN.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/10.jpg
Cade and Jindrak show us footage of where they first became a tag team, at a Star Wars convention.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/11.jpg
Bischoff: Alright, Nidia, it's your turn to draw from the golden box of buried gimmicks!
Nidia: Whoa, Sable's leftover silicon!
Bischoff: Er, that works.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/12.jpg
It was bad enough that he already broke his neck, but Dennis the Menace would not stop pestering Mr. Wilson.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/13.jpg
Dennis: Look Mr. Wilson! A hand grenade!
Mr. Wilson: Ah, shi</>t.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg
Batista: Dude, Hunter, Flair! I can see the future.
Hunter: No way. What does it look like?
Batista: Take a look.

(As Hunter and Flair peer into the future, they see Triple H putting over champions and younger talent on SmackDown.)

Kane: (laughing) Welcome to my world.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/15.jpg
And finally... Edge and Christian were reunited.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/16.jpg
Christian was slick and all, but there was no way he'd be able to pull off getting head from Spike and calling the REF a homo.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/17.jpg
Trish: Shoot this man in the ass!
Christian: Ow, my head...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/18.jpg
Rob Van Dam guest stars in Busta Rhymes's new video, "Gimme Some Dope."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/19.jpg
Flair: (Grabs a piece of glass from the ceiling) Back! Back!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/20.jpg
When Flair refused to break the hold, the ref had to take matters into his own hands by showing them that it was ten o'clock, and he didn't even know what deodorant was.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/21.jpg
Batista: AHHHHHHHHHHH! THERE'S A GIANT SPIDER ON MY CROTCH!
Triple H: (In the back) Don't fall for it Dave, it's a trick!

(see Triple H tapping out to Benoit caption in the Wrestlemania ones, for joke reference)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/22.jpg
Batista was confused, when after he won the title, some old drunk guy from the crowd came to help him celebrate.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/23.jpg
Rhyno: Well, The Rock does it, you do it, so why don't I give it a shot?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/24.jpg
Rhyno: WTF!? How did I end up in the crossface!?
Benoit: Sorry, only works for foreigners.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/25.jpg
Paul and Eric sing their karaoke duet, "We're Not Gonna Take it!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/26.jpg
Edge: So! I'm here, and I'm on RAW. Hm. Why wasn't I put on SmackDown!? I wonder.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/27.jpg
Edge: What's this? I got brought to RAW to be buried by Triple H!? Ha, are you joking? Vince isn't going to bury me. I just gave him a groin massage last night.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/28.jpg
Edge: See? You people have no faith. No faith. (Shaking his head)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/29.jpg
It was cool for Eddie to pick up chicks with his car and all, but did he really need to pick up the fat ones too?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/30.jpg
Triple H: So um, why am I not champion yet?
Hebner: Sorry Hunter, but that gene skipped a beat in my DNA.
Triple H: Damn.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/31.jpg
When Triple H lost his title, he had to revert to desperate measures to try and sleep with someone other than Steph. Sleeping with a champ came to mind, however, Eddie proved way much to Triple H to handle.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/32.jpg
Triple H had an idea. Maybe if he hit a 619 on Guerrero, maybe the people on SmackDown would think he was a Latino and let him keep this belt.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/33.jpg
Show: NEVER COPY MY WHOPPERS AGAIN!

Innovator

03-23-2004, 08:17 PM

Ok I'm back after a little hiatus, my turn to stink up the joint

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/01.jpg

Eric: na na na na na na na, I stayed in business longer than you did!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/02.jpg

Paul Heyman bobblehead doll, on sale now for 4.99

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/03.jpg

Heyman thinks its Rene Dupree, little does he know Hogan found the fountain of youth!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/04.jpg

Jericho: Hey look a midget with a bb gun
Rene: Oh shit! I surrender!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/05.jpg

Ladies and gentlemen, a French Man winning a fight

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/06.jpg

Both: Twins powers activate!
Austin: Form of...steam
Rene:...we got these in a box of crackerjacks

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/07.jpg

Austin: Aliens invading?!? Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop drinking beer!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/08.jpg

HGA Kama Sutra # 102: Filthy Midcarder

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/09.jpg

Kane: Don't you just loooooooove the feeling of silk between your fingers?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/10.jpg

Cade: I LOVE YOU MAN!
Mark: I know I'm leaving and all but you're still not getting my Bud Light

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/11.jpg

This is the most X-rated game of Bingo I've ever seen

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/12.jpg

Cena was drowning in his promo, luckily Paul had his promo life-saver by his side!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg

HHH: Wait...theres a guy on Smackdown whose ....over?!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/15.jpg

Christian cmon, its a family show

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/16.jpg

God is one of the peeps!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/17.jpg

Christian: Whoa...where am I?
Trish: Christian its 2004, we're an item now
Christian: Well Hello Shirley!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/18.jpg

Booker, being the partner he is, covers up RVD's "wardrobe malfunction"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/19.jpg

Ric: Booker ... I am your father
Booker: Damn sucker how retarded you think I am?!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/20.jpg

Even in the middle of the match, the ref has to break out into the Safety Dance!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/21.jpg

Worst. Bearhug. Ever

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/22.jpg

WWE's wild and crazy guys

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/23.jpg

Rhyno: So you're gonna call for the bell right Earl?
Earl: Yeah right, and Grizzly Adams had a beard!
Benoit: Grizzly Adams did have a beard
Earl:.....

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/24.jpg

Raise your hand if you're a ECW Champion
Rhyno: Me Me
Buried

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/25.jpg

Paul: Remember one thing Eric...I had better PPV buyrates in the end!
Eric:...touche

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/26.jpg

Shannon hoped no one noticed his recent roiding

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/27.jpg

Edge comes back, with a new WWE logo patch on his jacket!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/28.jpg

HHH hopes no one notices his boob job

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/29.jpg

HHH debuts his invisible low-rider impounder

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/30.jpg

Ref: So thats why I think Fantasia will win American Idol
Eddie: Dammit Hunter make him stop!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/32.jpg

HHH: Now you're gonna get it Eddie!
Belty: Oh shit I've heard about you
HHH: What the ****?!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/33.jpg
Ric: OH MY GOD!? You can talk?!

Corkscrewed

03-23-2004, 09:58 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg

You mean there's a whole OTHER roster to be buried???

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/19.jpg

Ric: "Hey look man, when Vince told me to whack you, I didn't know he meant this."

ROFLMAO!!! Those are gonna be Caption of the Month candidates! :rofl:

Rock Bottom, you had a whole string of solid ones. I'm gonna have some trouble picking which ones make it, because that was one constant, steady stream of comedy! :y:

El Santo

03-23-2004, 10:03 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/12.jpg

CENA: Yo, I was gonna cut a killer freestyle, but since I'm in Detroit and wearing a Lions #20 jersey...I'm just gonna quit. See ya!

As a native Detroiter, I laughed my ass off at this one. :lol:

Kudos to both Cork and Loopy. On fire, the both of you!

loopydate

03-23-2004, 10:47 PM

As a native Detroiter, I laughed my ass off at this one. :lol:

Kudos to both Cork and Loopy. On fire, the both of you!

I didn't know you were from D-Town! Whereabouts?

El Santo

03-23-2004, 11:03 PM

Former Detroiter. I'm in Seattle now. Used to live near Redford, tho'.

BigDaddyCool

03-23-2004, 11:07 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg
HHH: OMG, this totally isn't what it looks like.

Flair: Yeah, I totally wasn't eating his ass out!...What pooh mustache?

Batistia: You know guys, I don't know what I just saw, and I don't know what I will remeber tomorrow, but EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Kane (in the back): Hahahaha, busted.

(BTW, notice how I didn't say something about another roster to be buries or HHH having magical burying powers?)

BigDaddyCool

03-23-2004, 11:09 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/17.jpg
Trish: I found your Waldo, he's is right there.

BigDaddyCool

03-23-2004, 11:12 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/23.jpg
Earl (thinking):I know Chris isn't tapping, but he is almost in a sharpshooter, and Canadian...no that would be wrong, but it feels so right. And there is a title on the line...oh hell, he kind a tapped, lets just give it to Rhyno.

Hired Hitman

03-24-2004, 12:00 AM

I was going to say the Ric Flair Goatee :'(

oh well, nice spotting lad :D

El Santo

03-24-2004, 12:10 AM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/01.jpg
Eric: "Heh heh... no, no Paul, that's not where you wear your athletic cup."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/02.jpg
Heyman was such a trooper; not many people could keep a smile on their faces if their right arm were replaced by a thin metal rod.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/03.jpg
Heyman: "By the way, Renee, Vince says that once you get on Smackdown, you're supposed to be from Nashville, Tennesee."
Renee: "Eh? Porquoi?"
Heyman: "'Pork'? Oh... like pulled pork! Yes, that's the spirit!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/04.jpg
Jericho knew this might be beneath him but... those French guys always had such nice boots.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/05.jpg
The draft was neat, the post-show beat down was terrific, but nothing in the show could really top the shocking moment when Renee Dupree climbed out of Chris Jericho's mouth.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/06.jpg
After getting a whiff, Renee really wished he hadn't pulled Austin's finger.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/07.jpg
When Truckosaurus and Melllvar the Evil Energy Creature showed up to threaten Earth, Stone Cold Steve Austin whipped out two cans of spinach and began kicking ass!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/08.jpg
Glen Jacobs reflected on the irony of how he began his career as a dentist and ended it a podiatrist.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/09.jpg
"Their infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad. Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected."

* missile explodes behind him *

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/10.jpg
Garrison wasn't sure he even wanted to slow dance with Jindrak, and he sure as hell didn't feel comfortable when Flair started singing "Strangers in the Night".

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/11.jpg
Bischoff: "Aw, geez, Nidia, be careful around the Ark!"
Nidia: "What the---? It sucked in my clothes!"
Bischoff: "Heh heh... that Yahweh...."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/12.jpg
Heyman was torn. One the one hand, he was happy that Brock had lost weight and had signed an NFL contract. On the other hand ... THE DETROIT LIONS!?!?!?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/13.jpg
Cena: "Put me on Raw or I'm siccing Pikachu on your ass, bitch."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg
When Batista complained that he couldn't take his hands off his forehead, Flair and Hunter knew that Rhyno had come to Raw.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/15.jpg
Trish began to wonder if she picked the right guy when Christian began to whistle at every babe in the audience.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/16.jpg
Christian warns that Ref that if he ever hurts Spike again, there'll be hell to pay.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/17.jpg
Christian scratches his head in disbelief when Trish points out that he'd completely forgotten about Undertaker's birthday.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/18.jpg
Gloating after savagely beating Whoopi Goldberg, RVD's heel turn was complete.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/19.jpg
Flair: "... aaaand... jazz hands!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/20.jpg
The crowd marked out solid when the Ref ripped off his mask and revealed himself to be Ricky Steamboat!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/21.jpg
Batista: *reads Booker's shorts* "Wait a minute... you're name is Booker? And I've been calling you Whoopi all this time!"

faust34

03-24-2004, 12:33 AM

faust34

03-24-2004, 12:39 AM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg

Hunter: "Let me ge this straight, there's a device out there that when you put it in your toilet, it turns the water blue or green for 1,000 flushes?"

Batista: "Yeah and its only a small round disk."

Flair and Hunter: "OMG!"

Corkscrewed

03-24-2004, 12:40 AM

Rock Bottom

03-24-2004, 12:43 AM

Does anyone else here think Batista's bellybutton looks like a butthole?

Corkscrewed

03-24-2004, 12:48 AM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/05.jpg
The draft was neat, the post-show beat down was terrific, but nothing in the show could really top the shocking moment when Renee Dupree climbed out of Chris Jericho's mouth.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/08.jpg
Glen Jacobs reflected on the irony of how he began his career as a dentist and ended it a podiatrist.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/09.jpg
"Their infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad. Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected."

* missile explodes behind him *
http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/12.jpg
Heyman was torn. One the one hand, he was happy that Brock had lost weight and had signed an NFL contract. On the other hand ... THE DETROIT LIONS!?!?!?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/13.jpg
Cena: "Put me on Raw or I'm siccing Pikachu on your ass, bitch."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg
When Batista complained that he couldn't take his hands off his forehead, Flair and Hunter knew that Rhyno had come to Raw.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/18.jpg
Gloating after savagely beating Whoopi Goldberg, RVD's heel turn was complete.

ROFLMAO! Wow, it's like everyone was on fire this round! One of those days.

Rock Bottom

03-24-2004, 12:50 AM

LOL at the Pokemon one.

Corkscrewed

03-24-2004, 12:53 AM

That was an ingenius one, I'll give him that. Great wit there.

Hired Hitman

03-24-2004, 01:07 AM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/13.jpg

Heyman was Jealous That Cena had an oversized Chocolate Coin for a belt.

faust34

03-24-2004, 01:16 AM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/02.jpg

Love that Joker

I couldn't help myself, I was in a movie quoting mood. :D

Boondock Saint

03-24-2004, 01:20 AM

Wow. Great stuff this week.

El Santo

03-24-2004, 01:29 AM

ROFLMAO! Wow, it's like everyone was on fire this round! One of those days.

I think it's mainly because there were a lot of really hilarious pictures. :)

PorkSoda

03-24-2004, 06:42 AM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/01.jpg

Paul Heyman becomes "Bruce Almighty" and posesses Vince Mcmahon during his "Where It All Begins Again" speech.

Vince Mcmahon: (In ring) I don't care who you are, you're name is going into this list, I don't care if you are Stone Cold Steve Austin, I don't care if you're The Undertaker, I don't care if your a relative of mine, and I *Squeaky voice* Drun Cahya Eef Buh Boo A Bubbya bubbya Bee Wooapasta...*Cough* Mo If Yeww Ahh Mey Wofe, Winda!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/12.jpg

He is at it again here.

John Cena: I don't care which show I go on, my body will stay on Smackdown and my tiny little nipples will go to France! ....Wait a minute...The bahla..bahla....*Cough* BAHAHHAHARARARAR BLAAAH! REEEUMP!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/18.jpg

Imagine if RVD was RIGHT behind Booker-T in this picture, and you walked into a room and saw this!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/16.jpg

Christian: STAY!
Ref: UNGUARD! *Slice* AHHH!
Christian: What a dope.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/33.jpg

Big Show's new gimmick: Mr. Nanny!

Blue Demon

03-24-2004, 01:15 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/17.jpg

Announmcer: and here is your homo...CHRISTIAN

BigDaddyCool

03-24-2004, 01:37 PM

Fine, another I hope no one else did this one:

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg
Flair, HHH, and Batista all at once: Oh my god, we all wore the same thing, we are such dorks! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Kane: Girls are funny.

03-25-2004, 01:52 AM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/18.jpg
Gloating after savagely beating Whoopi Goldberg, RVD's heel turn was complete.

LMFAO!!! ****ing genius....

03-25-2004, 01:54 AM

El Santo is the man!

Rock Bottom

03-25-2004, 02:07 AM

Mister Sinister

03-25-2004, 03:20 AM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/01.jpg

Eric: Paul, What is wrong with your neck?

Paul: I took a Viagra, it got lodge in my throat and I had a stiff neck for hours

Scarface

03-25-2004, 04:45 AM

Welcome to 22 captions dedicated to Triple H and hopefully cheap laughs. Just for you BigDaddyCool.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/01.jpg
Heyman: So I'm standing there minding my business, when Triple H comes up walking up to me.
Bischoff: So..?
Heyman: Well his nose pushed my head back. Damn thing is huge.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/04.jpg
Jericho: This goes here, that here and voila, he's jobbed. Thank you Hunter.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/05.jpg
*Altar of sacrifice joke*

or

The magnetic forces hold his arms out as Trips uses his mutant job powers to force him into the position.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/06.jpg
Austin: "You think you got away. No-one gets away."

Announcer: And the next person on Smackdown. Triple H

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/07.jpg
Little did Austin know, Triple H had tainted his beer with his "hold down aura"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/08.jpg
Trips on his way to the ring: "looks like the parties aleady started."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/09.jpg
Kane: "Please get me off Raw, I can't take the jobbing."
Heyman: "But Undertaker is on Smackdown."
Kane: "Noooooooooooooooo..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/10.jpg
The whole locker room laugh as Jindrak and cade are the next ones up for sacrifice.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/11.jpg
Nidia: "But I'm a woman, women don't fight men."
Booming Trips voice: "Everybody jobs eventually."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg
Batista: "If you use this plan, both rosters will job to you in one huge jobfest."
Triple H: "Oh my god."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/15.jpg
Trish laughs as she thinks about what horrors Christians push will lead him too.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/16.jpg
Christian: "I'm doing this for you honey."
Trips: "Do it, make him job."

(a gay joke as well as a trips joke)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/17.jpg
The Triple H ninja's fly in and uses their ninja skills to swiftly insert the job chip into Christians head.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/19.jpg
Booker: "This is the end of it all, if I take you out maybe Trips will come around and stop jobbing everyone."
Flair: "It's not me, it's Stephanie. She is the one in control."
Booker: "My quest continues..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/22.jpg
Flair voice over: "With Triple H's patented formula you can make people job just like we did. I highly recommend Triple H's easyjob."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/23.jpg
Rhyno voice over: "Incorporating new Mcmahon ingrediants with a canadian works really well. Thank you Triple H."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/26.jpg
Surpisingly Triple H junior worked well.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/27.jpg
Edge voice over: "With chapter 2 of Triple H's easyjob formula, (Returning from injury gets people ready to job) I've had great success."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/28.jpg
Trips: "Buy my revolutionary new easyjob now. Because, hey nobody likes to job."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/29.jpg
Eddie: "Oh man, those assholes only installed the anti Trips suspension on one side."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/30.jpg
Triple H grimaced as he prepared to throw Eddie into the glass ceiling.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/33.jpg
Flair: "Watch out Show."
Show: "What."
*Show turns around*
Triple H swinging in on vine: "JoooOoOoOoOoOoOob."
*SMACK*

Corkscrewed

03-25-2004, 05:26 AM

Damn.

That's enough to make me stop HHH bashing captions for... two weeks.

Corkscrewed

03-25-2004, 05:28 AM

El Santo is the man!

I've kind of been thinking of him as the Eddie Guerrero of captions lately. You might not immediately think of him when you ponder who are caption kings, but he's been steady and amazing. He can work a variety of caption styles, and he always comes up with 5-star caption sets. Maybe he IS Eddie Guerrero.... :shifty:

BigDaddyCool

03-25-2004, 10:57 AM

Ok, I got another one

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg
HHH: Oooo, damn that stinks, did you just walk over here and fart Batistia!?!?

Batistia: No, eww it smell like hot wings, god why do I know that!?!

Kane (laughing quietly): Yeah, those were some good hot wings.

CBright7831

03-25-2004, 11:42 AM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/31.jpg
This wasn't the first time Triple H had been in this position.

loopydate

03-25-2004, 03:19 PM

I've kind of been thinking of him as the Eddie Guerrero of captions lately. You might not immediately think of him when you ponder who are caption kings, but he's been steady and amazing. He can work a variety of caption styles, and he always comes up with 5-star caption sets.

That's a damned good analogy, Corky. That kind of brings up an interesting question: What WWE wrestlers correspond with each of the captioneers? Here's what I'm thinking, right off the top of my head. Lemme know what you guys think.

El Santo = Eddie Guerrero, for the reasons you gave.

Rock Bottom = John Cena. Hasn't been at it long, but has built up a killer following. The future of TPWW captioneers.

Loose Cannon = Randy Orton. Just 'cause he'd hit me if I said anything different :D

Lamuella = The Rock. Disappears for long periods of time, but then comes back to massive pops and main-event pushes before his next disappearing act.

Corkscrewed = Chris Benoit. The top guy in the business at the moment. The model of captioning consistency.

Fryza = Mick Foley. Everybody loves Mick, just like everybody loves Fryza. Has enough "side projects" to where captioning isn't always a priority, but his sets are always popular.

I can't come up with good analogies for me, NM, and the rest. Help?

BigDaddyCool

03-25-2004, 05:46 PM

oooo, what about me?

El Santo

03-25-2004, 06:57 PM

Whoo! For a while there, I thought all my lying, cheating, and stealing were catching up with me.

Would it be too much to say that loopy may be the Ricky Steamboat of captions? I'm thinking of the 80's Steamboat matches. You know you enjoyed the captions the first time around, but every time you revisit them, they get better and better.

MVP

03-25-2004, 07:15 PM

I haven't gotten into captions til recently,

I guess I'm a self-proclaimed Shelton Benjamin.

Loose Cannon

03-25-2004, 09:03 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/01.jpg
Heyman: Don't ever tell me about a shortcut ever again.
Bischoff: Sorry, I didn't know they weren't finished installing the road yet.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/02.jpg
Welcome back to WWE Jeopardy.

Host: Okay Paul, How many times has an ex ECW wrestler been buried in the WWE?

Heyman: Three Thousand and Five Times

Host: OOOO, So Close. The correct answer, according to Vince himself, is "What's ECW?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/03.jpg
Dupree: Paul, what's going on?
Paul: I have no idea.
Guy: Okay you two, give me your best, 'I can't wait to recieve a stunner' look.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/04.jpg
Jericho and Rene were really having a tough time with the "Wheelbarrow" game.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/06.jpg
Steve: Hey Rene, check out my new tatoo
Rene: That's a cigar burn Steve
Steve: .......

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/07.jpg
Austin was so drunk he used his beer cans as binoculars to try and see what Sean was up to tonight.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/09.jpg
Oh Boy, Kane must of gotten paid in Rice Kripies treats this week instead of his usual Oreo cookies.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/10.jpg
Cade: Alright Mark, sorry about your release, good luck in NWA-TNA brother.
Mark: NO NO, I still work for the WWE, I'm just going to Smackdown.
Cade: Wait, what's going on again?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/11.jpg
Bischoff and Nidia's reaction to Ultimo Dragon finally learning how to say to say something in English other then, "Regular or Black."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/12.jpg
Heyman was told by management beforehand to act chocked up when Cena had the sad duty of making an announcement that Vince has stubbed his toe during an early morning encounter with a spider.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/13.jpg
Cena then proceeded to explain that everything was okay because Vince had caught the spider and sent it to Raw where it would be punished by being buried by HHH.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg
Hunter's reaction to learning that Batista had walked in on Randy and Steph
having sex in the cafeteria.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/16.jpg
You knew Trish's heel turn wasn't working out so well when Christian had to demand for the fans to stop chanting "Trish" during matches.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/17.jpg
Trish: Wait, you and I are heels right.
Christian: Yeah, I think.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/18.jpg
The RVD/Booker T combo music even made Booker hurl.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/19.jpg
Flair: I swear it wasn't my idea to give you and RVD that music.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/20.jpg
The ref just realized he was due to fix Vince's lawnmower in five minutes.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/22.jpg
Flair: Hey, did you watch how I worked his leg before applying the figure four?
Batista: Heh....

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/23.jpg
That guy over there wasn't the referee, he was just a passerby taking a quick route to the vending machine.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/29.jpg
I guess Austin found Eddie's lowrider in the back.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/33.jpg
Flair should of thunk twice before snatching that last Almond Joy during the commercial break.

Innovator

03-25-2004, 09:08 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/03.jpg
Camera Guy: Ok this is gonna sound a little crazy...TWO dragons

Rock Bottom

03-25-2004, 09:35 PM

LOL, I just thought of a brilliant one.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg
Trips: Um... Dave?
Dave: Yeah? (Looks over at Flair)
Trips: You're no longer the wingmaster.
Dave: :eek:

BigDaddyCool

03-25-2004, 09:46 PM

LOL, I just thought of a brilliant one.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg
Trips: Um... Dave?
Dave: Yeah? (Looks over at Flair)
Trips: You're no longer the wingmaster.
Dave: :eek:

man oh man, is there anything this picture can't do?

Rock Bottom

03-25-2004, 09:47 PM

Heh, I am gonna be hitting that pic up still by next week, you're right, it is a great one.

Blue Demon

03-25-2004, 10:55 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/03.jpg
Camera Guy: Ok this is gonna sound a little crazy...TWO dragons
:lol: Starski and Hutch

Blue Demon

03-25-2004, 10:58 PM

http://raw.wwe.com/results/032204/images/14.jpg
Batista: Oh shit....I'm late for our gay congo line
HHH&Flair: Then who's....

Corkscrewed

03-26-2004, 06:29 AM

oooo, what about me?
Kevin Nash.

BigDaddyCool

03-26-2004, 02:13 PM

Kevin Nash.

Damn right

BigDaddyCool

03-26-2004, 02:14 PM

but why am I Kevin Nash, and it has to be more than my name is BDC.

Corkscrewed

03-26-2004, 04:44 PM

I'm not sure you want me to answer that. :p

Loose Cannon

03-26-2004, 05:31 PM

but why am I Kevin Nash, and it has to be more than my name is BDC.

because KEVIN NASH is a LEGEND and well........

*see who I am