Best/Worst Character: JURASSIC PARK

[thedamndest]

Looking to introduce a new semi-regular discussion series here in movies/tv in which I pick a movie and you name your favorite and least favorite character in that movie(s). Without further ado, I bring to you the pilot thread, Jurassic Park!

<img src="http://www.content-free.de/data/media/33/jurassic-park.jpg">

What do they got in there, King Kong?"

[Jeritron]

Best Character: Ian Malcolm

Worst Character: Probably Lex

[Jeritron]

Muldoon is up there. He's cooler than Malcolm, but what he has to say isn't as interesting. Plus Jeff Goldblum is just hilarious as his own novelty.

Other characters are great too. The movie is actually full of great characters. I even like Tim. Lex and her "hacker" gimmick bores me though

[thedamndest]

Best: Dr. Ian Malcom (runner-up Dennis Nedry and whatever Samuel L. Jackson's name is)

Worst: Robert Muldoon

Ian Malcom is the clear winner here for a number of reasons. Just about everything he says is hilarious. He doesn't try and be a hero. He's got a great wardrobe, and come on, he survives a T-Rex attack because he has the presence of mind to apply a makeshift tourniquet before passing out. Pretty badass. Nedry and Jackson are both hilarious as well, but I can hardly give them the "best charcter" title for hilarious lines alone.

As for Muldoon, he looks like he would be the kind of person you want to go hunt down some dinosaurs, but when it comes down to it, he's all talk and no game. He sits around telling people to hush up when the car is approaching the tyrannosaur paddock and then nothing happens. When he's hunting raptors (known pack hunters) he places his hat on a tree to distract one raptor, only to be attacked from the side by another raptor. Timmy and Lex fared better in the kitchen against the raptors. Has this man ever hunted before? It's too bad he sucked so bad because his action figure was pretty cool (though it looked nothing like him).

[Fignuts]

Best: Dennis Nedry? Wazzat his name? Newman played him. He was great. "DODSAN! DODSAN! WE'VE GOT DODSAN HERE! See, nobody cares."

Worst: Yeah, Lex.

[Jeritron]

No way is Muldoon worse than Lex

[thedamndest]

As a side note, Jurassic Park is the only Michael Crichton book that has been done well on the screen, and I would say is one of the few movies that is as good as if not better than the book (though the movie changes quite a bit).

[Jeritron]

I'd like to give a special achievement award to Dotsond

[Jeritron]

I loved Mr. Arnold (Sam Jackson's character)

I basically love everyone in that movie except Lex. Even Genaro, the bloodsucking attorney

[thedamndest]

I think Muldoon's great potential and then disappointment is what makes him the worst character. He doesn't even get a shot off. He just puts his hat on the tree log. He really ought to know there are more raptors lurking in the area.

[Jeritron]

Well he fucks up. That's for sure. Then again, isn't that what they all do? I think that's the underlying theme of the movie. It was an 'epic fail' before the term was coined. Every brash arrogant human being on the island was in some way getting their commupance.
The only one who didn't was Malcom, and he was the "I told you so" character.

[Jeritron]

What about B.D Wong and his "simply deny them that" character?

[thedamndest]

I think the 7 year-old in me is still disappointed I never saw a Muldoon firefight. I just checked and the Muldoon action figure comes with a giant bazooka...

[Jeritron]

The Muldoon action figure was indeed amazing. I think that's clouding my judgement

[thedamndest]

I don't see anything wrong with Wong. As a man of science, any theory is open to flaws. It's just such a shame that these flaws had to come at a time when the electric fences containing dinosaurs were simultaneously turned off, while some of the dinosaurs were in some kind of fertile period.

[Jeritron]

Have you seen the Nedry figure?

Yes of course you have. Check my sig...

[Jeritron]

The point is the JP figures were over-equipped. Just about everyone had weapons of mass destruction in backpack form.
When Dennis Nedry has a flamethrower, you know someone at Kenner has gone drunk with power.

[Jeritron]

Ian Malcolm was a man of academia. He was a man of intelligence, wit, and logic. Look at him now...

http://toyattack.com/jp2.jpg

He's running around with a gun bigger than he is, and a backpack full of chemical weaponary.

Look at the crew he's running with. Even the kid is hunting dinos.

[Jeritron]

Not to mention the dinos they come with. "Hey kids, have your heroes shoot baby herbavores with bazookas and cage them IF they live"

[Requiem]

I had #4. It came with a big t-rex that had a spot on its side that came out and showed its rib cage, as if a chunk had been blown out of it.

[thedamndest]

Ellie gave Malcolm the tranq gun so she wouldn't have to keep feeding him morphine. Jurassic Park had a shortage of hypodermic needles but an abundance of over-sized backpack mounted tranq guns, so that's why he has that.

[Jeritron]

http://www.figurerealm.com/Galleries.php?SID=124&SSID=3

Remember those guys?

To compliment the Evil Raiders, there were the Dino Trackers too. They were made up bad guys and heroes respectively. Apparently the film characters didn't offer enough possibilities for living room warfare.
I can't say I disagree with Kenner.

[Jeritron]

http://www.toyarchive.com/STAForSale/NEW2001+/JurassicPark/JurassicPark/HarpoonHarrisonLoose2a.jpg

I was a big fan of Harpoon Harrison. Great name. Seems like a great dude. He's a real Southern California type.
He seems like he's really relaxed, and remeniscent of Patrick Swayze in Point Break. Not as violent though.
He just hunts dinos one season a year so he can have enough money to surf and drink Coronas in Magaritaville.

[thedamndest]

Dr. Snare is everything Muldoon should have been.

[Jeritron]

http://www.toyarchive.com/STAForSale/NEW2001+/JurassicPark/JurassicPark/JPTurnerTrexComp1a.jpg

[Jeritron]

http://www.toyarchive.com/STAForSale/NEW2001+/JurassicPark/JurassicPark/JPJawsJackson2a.jpg

I really never liked Jaws Jackson. He was an okay figure, but in general he could never shake the stigma of being a generic park employee. Sure, maybe he had a great track record of Dino Hunting.
But he reminds of that guy who takes Ellie back to the headquarters in his gas-powered jeep. That guy was a tool. Why did he have to point out that his jeep was gas powered? Nobody likes a guy like that.

Also, did he really roll up to the chaotic action figure world of Jurassic Park with a camera? That's it? He's just going to film this stuff? Apparently he didn't get the memo.
If you don't have rocket powered projectiles, explosives, or chemicals, go home.

[thedamndest]

I always thought it was tragic that the dinosaurs had the JP logo imprinted on their bodies. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? The entire concept of "branding" the dinosaurs is ridiculous. Is Hammond going to get his raptors mixed in with Triassic Park one Isla over?

[Jeritron]

Maybe the toys take place later in the timeline, once Dotsond and his company have started their rival park.
As for location, I wouldn't be suprised if it was one island over. I imagine the islands of that region would become the Orlando FL of the Dinosaur Theme Attraction world.

[Danny Electric]

Clever girl.

[mitchables]

Pretty sure it's fairly unanimous across the board that Ian Malcolm is the winner and Muldoon loses for his massive failure as a hunter and person in general.

[Kapoutman]

I agree with everybody on Muldoon. I really wished he was going to be the guy shooting raptors left and right to make a path for the other survivors before being eaten by a T-Rex, but still managing to shoot one of its eyes off in the process.

[Jeritron]

but just because he was a failure doesn't make him a bad character. It's part of what his character is.
I don't base how good a character is on how much I like them, but how interesting and memorable they are. Clearly there's some substance to him if we're discussing how much of a doofus he was in the movie 15 years later.

[mitchables]

Muldoon should've gone out the way Faraday in Justice League: New Frontier went out.

That is, by grabbing two hand grenades and setting them off as you get swallowed by a Tyrannosaur. Pure fucking badass.

[Jeritron]

For instance, Lando Calrissian was a smooth pimp daddy. However, he was a huge rat. He stabbed them in the back, and then even after he tried to redeem himself he still tried to jack Han's clothes, ship, friends, and even his girl.
That never sat well with me.
Even after everything blew over I never really forgave him.

[Jeritron]

Muldoon should've gone out the way Faraday in Justice League: New Frontier went out.

That is, by grabbing two hand grenades and setting them off as you get swallowed by a Tyrannosaur. Pure fucking badass.

I think that death was reserved for Dr. Snare

[mitchables]

but just because he was a failure doesn't make him a bad character. It's part of what his character is.
I don't base how good a character is on how much I like them, but how interesting and memorable they are. Clearly there's some substance to him if we're discussing how much of a doofus he was in the movie 15 years later.

This is a valid point.

Muldoon was not the worst character in terms of necessarily being thinly developed, because obviously - as you said - there's something to him if we're discussing him at length.

If you're looking for "plain and generic, this movie would've been just fine without them" worst, then Hacker Lex is probably the way to go.

[Jeritron]

Lex was so lame they didn't make an action figure of her. Not even a slew of bazookas and dino damage carnage could make her interesting.
They managed to turn Ian Malcolm and Dennis Nedry into action heroes that would make Rambo look like Barbara Streissand.
Clearly she didn't have much going for her. Kenner knows the deal.

[thedamndest]

You can use anything you want to determine your "Best" or "Worst" qualifications. A vanilla character, a guy with a terrible line, or Muldoon, whose hunting skills are now being called into question.

[Jeritron]

Do we feel he's incompetent? I will put that on the table, seeing as his incompetence cost an innocent Costa Rican his life.
How did he not secure the gate before telling the loading team to step away?

That man died in agony, and his wife and 17 children deserve compensation

[Jeritron]

http://www.yourprops.com/norm-478ccb7f1a18c-Jurassic+Park+(1993).jpeg

I must admit, this is the first you see of Muldoon and he makes a hell of an impression. When this is the first thing you see in a movie you know is going to be about Dinosaurs gone berserk, it's time to mark the fuck out.
I can see the complaint that his character wrote a check that it wasn't able to cash.

I still like him though

[OssMan]

Man I don't know. I honestly don't even think I can pay enough attention to a movie to analyze the best and worst characters of it unless I watch it more than 3 times.

[mitchables]

Well, Muldoon is clearly inept. The circumstances of his death point to this more starkly than his neglect.

[Jeritron]

You haven't watched Jurassic Park more than 3 times?

[thedamndest]

I totally forgot about the "SHOOT HERRRRRRR" scene. That makes me hate Muldoon even more.

[Fox]

My favorite was definitely John Hammond. He was the one who took the biggest "ride" in this film, making the largest arc of any of the characters. He went from being quite pretentious about his groundbreaking idea to deciding that it was far too dangerous to go on. Watching this transition was a large part of my enjoyment of the film, and his scene with Dr. Sattler before all hell breaks loose is one of my favorites of the movie.

Tim and Lex are a tie for worst. Tim was an annoying little bastard who didn't have the balls to jump off that fucking fence when he had mucho time to do so, and was constantly screaming like a little bitch throughout. Lex' computer hacking shit was a bit much, and I always hated her for turning on that fucking flashlight and almost getting herself, Tim and Dr. Grant eaten by a fucking T-Rex.

[mitchables]

My favorite was definitely John Hammond. He was the one who took the biggest "ride" in this film, making the largest arc of any of the characters. He went from being quite pretentious about his groundbreaking idea to deciding that it was far too dangerous to go on. Watching this transition was a large part of my enjoyment of the film, and his scene with Dr. Sattler before all hell breaks loose is one of my favorites of the movie.

And all it took was the deaths of numerous employees and visitors for him to make the leap.

What a guy.

[thedamndest]

Spared no expense.

[mitchables]

Plus, Hammond just "conveniently" forgot to mention to everyone that there was a second island out there with untamed dinosaurs on it (Site B) until he has to bring it up.

[redoneja]

Best: Dennis Nedry? Wazzat his name? Newman played him. He was great. "DODSAN! DODSAN! WE'VE GOT DODSAN HERE! See, nobody cares."

Worst: Yeah, Lex.


ROFL Nedry. That line is probably the line of the movie. Along with Arnold (Samuel Jackson) saying "Hold on to your butts."

[Jeritron]

Hammond is a bit of a hypocrite. I mean, he's rolling in cash. He has more money than God and he has no problem throwing it around on extravagant shit.

Yet, he couldn't keep his most important employee well paid enough to not betray him? Nedry did what he did for money. If he was paid well, he wouldn't have had "financial problems" and wouldn't have fucked the park over.
It's not like he didn't come to Hammond with his problems. He obivously did. But Hammond said tough shit. "They're your problems"? Was he really sorry, or was he just being an asshole and sparing expenses?

When he decided he spared no expense, did he forget about his employess having financial security?

I blame him.

[thedamndest]

Hammond kept Nedry in Butterfingers.

[mitchables]

Can I just say (since I doubt sequels will necessarily get their own thread - correct me if I'm wrong) that Eddie is one of the better characters in The Lost World? If only for his outlandishly heroic death.

[Jeritron]

Eddie is fantastic. Tobey from West Wing. His death is amazing stuff. I liked him for most of the movie before that too. The High Hide.

Dieter is another guy like Muldoon. Incredibly badass action figure, but ultimately a huge failure.

[mitchables]

Oh for sure. Bested by Compys. The poor bastard.

[thedamndest]

I have to respect the raptors for their keen attention to the movie's running time and wisely waiting until approximately the last twenty minutes to make an attack in all three films.

[Supreme Olajuwon]

Dennis Nedry gets my vote for best character over Dr. Ian Malcolm because of his outstanding foresight to equip his computer with the most annoying password protection possible.

Ah-ah-ah, you didn't say the magic word. Ah-ah-ah

[Jeritron]

Dennis Nedry's Roy Orbison action figure


http://www.toyarchive.com/STAForSale/NEW2001+/JurassicPark/JurassicPark/JPDennisNedryComp1a.jpg

[Jeritron]

I have this trading card taped to my mirror

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_jemdHqsk2nE/R45hIubCa-I/AAAAAAAAAGk/VqH0UME2vEs/s320/nedry.jpg

[OssMan]

The best character is the dilophosaurus who spat goo all over Newman

[Supreme Olajuwon]

the Nedry laugh

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[Jeritron]

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[Supreme Olajuwon]

can't believe Ray Arnold is allowed to smoke around dinosaurs

[Supreme Olajuwon]

Dr. Ellie Sattler is married in real life to Ben Harper.

http://msnbcmedia4.msn.com/j/ap/la10912240239.widec.jpg

so that's who he's been stealing kisses from this whole time

[Impact!]

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