RAW Captions [04/05/04]

[CBright7831]

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[MVP]

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Triple H: "Alright kid, what's your name? I'd like to know before I squash you in 30 seconds.
Shelton: "I'm Shelton Benjamin, the guy you jobbed to last week."
Triple H: "What does job mean?"

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Johnny: "Hey remember that time on Nitro when Bret Hart beat you for the World Heavyweight Title?"
Benoit: "You better shut up."
Johnny: "Remember when you got screwed out of keeping World Heavyweight Title at Souled Out?"
Benoit: "Remember that time your arm "spontaneously" broke?"
Johnny: "No...*snap* OWWWWWWW!!"

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Rob Conway does his Triple H impression.

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Belt: "I am the spirit of Triple H, I command you to hold down the entire RAW roster.
Benoit: "What the hell?"

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Eric Bischoff was disgusted when William Regal said he wanted to play with Eric in backarat.

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We all know wha Christian was thinking:

Christian: Damn this itches, that's the last time I ever do a skank a favor for a ride.

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Chirs Jericho was far from carrying even Matt Hardy in a match.

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Christian: "Why do you have green face paint on your chest?"
Trish: "N...no reason Shane, I mean Christian!"

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The new Mick Foley brand toothbrush did not sell well.

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Missing his right hand, Randy Orton now knows to take it seriously next time he hears that "Oprah's off the wagon."

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Shelton Benjamin vomitted after Triple H put him through his "Raw" initiation.

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and after he felt better, Shelton couldn't help but repay the favor.

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Ric: "Oh man, look at the buns on that one."
Batista: "Yeah, he must workout."

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Evolution needed a lot of practice at performing the YMCA.

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Fans went wild when Stacy Keibler kept moving back and forth along the rope and eventually orgasmed.

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Lita never forgot about the time that Trish called her "Lita Lita Penis Eater."

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That's what anybody would look like after having to Triple H vs. Kevin Nash at Judgement Day 03.

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Chirs was picturing Trish being knocked up by a horse.

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Eugene: "Have you seen my baseball?"
William: "Yes sir, a chap by the name of Triple H has it, but he doesn't like to call it a baseball, but he likes to call it a weiner."
Eugene: "So he's seen my weiner?"

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Eugene was told that Jeery Lawler's head was a cherry popsicle.

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William Regal and Eugene didn't get a warm response doing Simon and Garfunkel karokee.

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One Vince received word of Edge's main event push, he set off the bomb he left ticking in Edge's chest.

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Eric: "I can't understand why you guys don't take me seriously as a GM. I'm a man too you know, I go pee pee standing up."

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Triple H was angry to discover that there was no roster left to bury.

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The fans left in disgust when Evolution started acting out scenes from the Shawshank Redemption.

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No one jobbed to Chris Benoit in a nappy match.

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Belt: "It is good to have you back master. Now it's time for you to wear me while you have sex with Stephanie and Vince."

[Blue Demon]

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HHH: Your time will come....
Shelton: HAHAHAHAHA....hey...

[loopydate]

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Eric: "I can't understand why you guys don't take me seriously as a GM. I'm a man too you know, I go pee pee standing up."

:rofl:

We trained him wrong on purpose...as a joke.

[Wondermouse]

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The chair wasn't all that comfortable, but Christian had to appreciate the state of the art slutholder. Now his hand didn't get all wet from the natural condensation.

[loopydate]

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The Federal Communications Committee, in the wake of our recent surge of authority, has decided to overstep our bounds even further by forcing the racial integration of any and all vases found on national television broadcast. Next week, Trish Stratus' breasts will be replaced by actual corgi puppies.

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Johnny Nitro's inexplicable name change from last week came into stark clarity as his opponent for the night was revealed to be...Chris Benraw.

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Little did Benoit know that his match was about to be broken up by the new Nation of Domination.

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Worst. Ladder Match. Ever.

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REGAL: Hello, sunshine.
ERIC: Oh, hi, William. Good to see you.
REGAL: Yes, well, I just thought I'd inform you that I have come to replace Steve Austin as your backstage nemesis, so to speak.
ERIC: Oh. Well, thank you for informing me.
REGAL: You're quite welcome. Now, would you please direct me to the ladies' locker room.
ERIC: Down the hall to the left. Why do you ask?
REGAL: Oh, no reason. *Cracks knuckles* See you soon.

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ANNCR: And the lucky winner is the fan seated in section 1, row 1, seat 1!
TRISH: Did we just win?
FAN: Riiiiiiiigged!

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STOP WITH THE GIANT SWINGS!!!

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Trish Stratus - Queen of Static Electricity

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MATT FACT - Matt does the most intense push-ups on the RAW roster.

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XTIAN: That's right. I knocked out all her lower teeth! It makes things easier. What of it?
Y2J: Makes what ea--ohhhhhhhhh...

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MICK: This cotton candy looks kind of str--OW!

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RANDY: Once again, my pants have become ensnared in a cow-catcher.

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Shelton knew he was in trouble when HHH set up for the Nasal Inhalation.

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BLARG! GIANT SWING! :rant:

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Trips froze in pain when Shelton pinched his beer gut between his shoulder blades.

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Evolution, moments before they came to the horrible realization that this wasn't Ric Flair with them...and they weren't close enough to the mall.

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STACY: Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing here, either.

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LITA: No, YOU're a moho!
TRISH: Jesus, you even botch the language...
LITA: Point to your keens!

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TRISH: *Cough* Okay, love you too, Stevie. No one must ever know...

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I can't put my finger on it, but...Roddy Piper looks different somehow.

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REGAL: Okay, who here has a stupid gimmick?

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TAJIRI: Um...it's carred soap. Rook into it.

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Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains!

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REGAL: Okay, how many more months until Vince realizes how stupid this gimmick is?

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Steven Richards - Master Archer

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ERIC: ...hope you don't mind that I put down in words / How wonderful life is while you're in the world...
MICK: Dude, that was bro awesome man sweet dawg!
HBK: Rubbish. Absolute rubbish.
BENOIT: Hey! Why do I have to be Paula?

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PETER/PAUL/MARY: No need to rub it in, asshole.

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Randy, Dave, and Chris were pros at the "Find the Quarter" game.

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CHRIS: Last time I buy a pillow at the Sandman's yard sale...

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Meh. It's been done.

[Wondermouse]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to loopydate again.


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REGAL: Hello, sunshine.
ERIC: Oh, hi, William. Good to see you.
REGAL: Yes, well, I just thought I'd inform you that I have come to replace Steve Austin as your backstage nemesis, so to speak.
ERIC: Oh. Well, thank you for informing me.
REGAL: You're quite welcome. Now, would you please direct me to the ladies' locker room.
ERIC: Down the hall to the left. Why do you ask?
REGAL: Oh, no reason. *Cracks knuckles* See you soon.

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ERIC: ...hope you don't mind that I put down in words / How wonderful life is while you're in the world...
MICK: Dude, that was bro awesome man sweet dawg!
HBK: Rubbish. Absolute rubbish.
BENOIT: Hey! Why do I have to be Paula?

El Nino has competition.

[James Steele]

If these suck... I Apologize, but this blue chipper has potential but if he can not do captions and suck a mean dick then he will never get to the Main Event!


*********************************************************
MY FIRST CAPTION EVER...(You can tell your grandkids about this moment,lol)

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Shelton: Why Grandmother, What A Big Nose You Have...
HHH: *crying* Wait Til' I Tell Stephanie...then your gonna get it!

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Chris Benoit: Didn't I train you for a day in Tough Enough?
Johnny Nitro: Yeah...but Vince said that nobody is supposed to remeber that...
Benoit: :roll:

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Rob Conway knew he took it too far when he told Chris Benoit that he knew about the spiders...

Benoit: YOU WILL SAY NOTHING....YOU HEAR ME...NOTHING!!!

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Belty: I know about the spiders too...
Benoit: "Damn...I thought RVD's 'Congrats On WrestleMania XX,Dude' bag of weed was bad"
Belty: It was...
Benoit: :wtf:

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Eric: William, have I got a classic storyline for you!
William: Please don't tell me Real Man's Man 2004...
Eric: No...much much wor....I mean don't worry! :shifty:

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Christian: Trish...was that you?
Trish: Ummm....can I phone a friend?

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Chris Jericho was took out of his concentration when he looked up and the cage was gone.

Matt: I am not already telling you anything you don't already kn...
Chris: SHUT UP...DO NOT LET VINCE HERE YOU!!!

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When they saw that all hell was about to break loose...Trish and Christian knew they had NO alternatives...

They must....

ANIMORPH!

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Jericho knew he was must animorph aswell...but why did he have to get stuck with the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard Of Oz?

Ref To Matt: What a lame-ass super power. I have superfast hand motion.
Matt: Dude, JUST SHUT THE...nevermind :nono:

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They knew they had completed their task when they got some idiot to rent Sean O' Haire's cage for $750 a month.

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Mick: Damn it, this is embarassing...can sombody help get this off of by beard. It got stuck again...

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Ortan knew he had to train hard for his undeserved push, but Ric Flair was at fault for giving him the entire Rocky movie series DVD's instead of "The Ultimate Ric Flair Collection" which is available now at www.wweshopzone.com!

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Shelton Benjamin could not stop laughing as Triple H did his 2-In-One impression of Popeye the Sailor and what he did to prepare to go down on Stephanie.

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Shelton: Hey Hunter...KILL THAT SPIDER!
Triple H: Umm...that is kinda old now aint it>
Shelton: It worked didn't it?
Triple H: You wait til we get done playing Vince's Office!

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Triple H: Who dare sayeth I have a small penis?
Dave (To Ric): That's what Randy Told me...
Ric: I am not telling you anything you don't already know...
Triple H: Who said that?

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Evolution just went too far with the Armpit flamethrowers!

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Stacy (to herself): I wonder why nobody else has to do this?
Nidia: Because we have boobs...
Lillian: Or we suc.... :shifty:

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Lita thought she won the "Diva's Your A Homo Invitational" but nobody could be Trish's 5-digit Your-A-Homo-Blaster 6000!

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Trish hated it when Triple H and Vince called "Assume The Position" over the PA system...

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Chris Jericho knew that the McMahon Voice Modulator would come in handy some day!

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William: Who's potential is going to get pissed on in a matter of seconds?
Eugene: Ooooh Oooooh Me Me Me!
William: Poor Poor kid...

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Tajiri did not translate Batista's "Find a Title In A Wrester's Ass" intructions from English to Japanese very well.

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Eugene: Uncle Jim Jim!!
Jerry: Which one of my ex-wives sent you...
J.R.: God I love my job!

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William: See this J.R., THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
Jerry Lawler: Hey Nick, At least you have not been a skinny rip-off of Dustry Rhodes!
William: :foc:

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Edge: Must resist urge to move to Alabama!
Kane: Damn It...now I learned the Sharpshooter for nothing!

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Eric: Damn it...the Easter musical is in 5 days...SHOW SOME FEELING DAMN IT. We have to try our hardest to beat "The Passion"

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Triple H knew who had stolen the Kool-Aid...now he must pay, with his life...and any future push!

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Benoit: I must channel the spirit of belty!
Triple H: Sorry... I CHANNEL THE POWER OF EVOLUTION KOOL-AID...ALMIGHTY VINCE I MAKE MY SACRAFICE
Ric (to himself): I wonder if he will be madat i got drunk and pissed in Kool-Aid...again. That reminds me of that flight earlier this year...
Randy & Batista: Must resist urge to dig in Triple H's ass...

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Benoit was thankful that Vince did not like Ric's lack of self-control...

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Triple H: I may not have sacraficed him... but all is well in Helsmley-World!

I got belty...
I get to go home to Ric Flair every night...
And Steph still thinks I have herpes....

Belty: You Do...
Triple H: Oh Belty!
(Cheesy 80's sitcom close music as Triple H makes a :roll: face toward belty)
Belty: Hunter...I forgot to tell you that I slept with Steph before you and well...
Triple H: Damn...Ric really needs to stop pissing in the Kool-Aid.

[Kane Knight]

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Triple H and Benjamin celebrated the end of the WWE ban on interracial relationships with a sloppy on-screen kiss.



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"ACK! JESUS, CHRIS! That's not how you do the 'got your nose' trick!"


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Benoit screamed in horror as thousands of ravens descended on his shiny title belt.

Triple H grinned backstage and muttered "April Fools!"


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Christian and Trish's remake of "All in the family" was not well-received.

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Jericho bravely tried to help the latest victim of the hold-down aura.


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"Ref: Wow, you really CAN get your whole head up there!



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Foley introduces his newest piece of Merchandise, the "Hardcore Cotton Candy" Machine

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Randy demonstrated the new, interactive Evolution logo.


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"What do you mean you've had better?"


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"Kumbaya, m'Lord, Kumbaya..."


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In an attempt to expand the roster, the WWE eliminated ring work, and merely instated a "Pat your head and rub your belly" requirement.

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This really doesn't need a caption...
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"Start Spreadin' the neeeeews, I'm leaving today..."

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Eric prepares the first rehearsal of the WWE Boy Band:
"Okay, here's how it goes. Shawn, you're the cute one. Chris, you're the tough one. And Mick...Try not to draw too much attention to yourself."


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Triple H didn't appreciate Benoit implying that his appearance in "Muscle andFitness was an April Fool's joke.


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Chris: I think I found some more of Rhyno's glue...

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I would like to thank my Dark Master...

[Rock Bottom]

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Shelton had to be the dumbest guy in the planet for agreeing to his rematch with Triple H being a "nose war."

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Chris Benoit knew he took too many drugs when he started seeing '70's versions of WWE referees.

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Benoit: *Crossface*
Conway: OW! Why are you doing this!?
Benoit: Sorry, Austin told me to cripple all La Resistance on his night off.
Conway: Why the hell should you listen to Austin!?
Benoit: He's babysitting my kids tonight.

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Since no one would buy Benoit being from GA, the WWE decided to push him as a Frenchman - and this time, they had proof.

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Regal: Hello. You must be Mrs. Bischoff. I'm here for the blind date.
Eric: ...

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Christian: Whoa, this thing kicks ass. I can see like ALL the talent in wrestling.
Trish: Yeah, this Cerebro thing is pretty amazing, I guess that's why they call Hunter the Cerebral Assassin.

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Triple H: Children! I thought I told you not to play around with Cerebro!
Both: We're sorry Professor H!

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Matt: Okay... One, two, pull!
Jericho: *GRRRRRR*
Matt: Damnit, not budging!
Jericho: Rhyno is really being a dick.
Matt: Yeah I know, it's not like I wasn't already glued to the mat.

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Vince McMahon wasn't really tricking Jericho by feeding him "Mat" Hardy.

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Christian forgot his line when he realized that Trish left her vibrator in her pants.

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Foley: "To... My... Number one fan... Debra... McMichael." Here ya go.
Austin: Gee thanks alot Mick, I'm sure she'll love it.

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When the WWE told Randy Orton they were going to build him into a new main-event talent, he showed up with a bucket of paint, some glue, and a stool.

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Triple H: What the-
Shelton: Huntah Heyust Helmsley?
Triple H: Yeah?
Shelton: Come with me if you want to live.

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Shelton: Alright Trips, get ready to go over me.
Triple H: Wait a m-
Shelton: Contract said I'd put you over, didnt say how!

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Dave: Hunter, when is it gonna be MY turn?
Triple H: You know the rules, age before beauty.
Dave: WTF, then why hasn't Flair gotten a turn?
Triple H: ...FLAIR! (Turning red) Are you... Older than me?
Flair: Well I, heh... Ah, well you see Trips...

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The WWE debuted the New Horsemen Order of Degenerate Kliq.

I'll do the rest later, not too motivated atm.

[El Santo]

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Trips: "Heh... don't worry, Shelton. You won't be buried like the Hurricane."
Shelton: "Uh, Hunter... Nose. Growing."
Trips: "Dammit."

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Johnny thought he had a good chance against Benoit... But against a tag team of Benoit and Midget Benoit?

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While Benoit and Conway had a delightful spat about who was the True Canadian. Meanwhile, in row five, no one's more pissed about the high price of floor seats than the Human Torch.

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And here, we see Triple H trying to recapture the belt through the power of magnets.

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Eric: "What the---? How did you get in here? I thought I barricaded the doors!"

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Realizing that he should have bought the loveseat instead, Christian was immediately hit with buyer's regret.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/07.jpg

Jericho: "C'mon, Matt... the match is over.... let's go already."
Matt: "Please, Chris, have pity. The never let me enter the ring. They gave me a losing streak and they never told me! They were going to job me to Mark Henry! You can't take me away from the only true glory that I've felt in ... Ooooh! A penny!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/08.jpg

Things took a turn for the worst when Trish suddenly went Super Saiyan!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/09.jpg

The Ref was at a loss when Steven Richards snatched his Philly cheese steak.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/10.jpg

Trish: "So who do you, the viewers at home, think will win the Great American Award? Go to wwe.com and vote now!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/11.jpg

Mick was kinda perplexed by the size of Big Show's Q-tip.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/12.jpg

In a gimmick change that no one foresaw, Orton debuted as Randy, Pro-Bowler of God.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/13.jpg

There were few things that could faze Hunter, but unsightly earwax buildup just grossed him out.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/14.jpg

Hunter's attempt at a hurricarana was cut short when he realized, too late, that he didn't have enough ground clearance.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/15.jpg

Vince was pissed. He he was, twenty-five years younger, and no one noticed!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/16.jpg

Witness the Power of Evolution: Randy "The Legend Killer" Orton, Batista, "The Game" Triple H, "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair, and introducing Lord Littlebrook!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/17.jpg

Stacy: "Huh? What? Ladies' Battle Royale? Damn, wrong place. My bad."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/18.jpg

Lita was none too thrilled when she realized that Trish was cheating at thumb wrestling!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/19.jpg

Trish decides she's had enough of this crappy match and pulls out her katana!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/20.jpg

When Chris finally realized that he was being stalked by Shelob, it was too late.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/21.jpg

Dinsmore's original gimmick as Nick "The-Guy-Who-Smashes-Hardboiled-Eggs-On-His-Head" Dinsmore was ... well, was actually much, much better.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/22.jpg

Ref: "Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God! Christian, is that a Bulova?!?!?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/23.jpg

After Jerry Lawler bumped his head, only Eugene could make his boo-boo feel all better.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/24.jpg

Later, Eugene revealed his true gimmick, "The Kingmaker". With a simple flick of his hands, Eugene transformed William Regal into Elvis Presley!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/25.jpg

Edge: "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!!!"
Kane: "That's Kane, dumbass."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/26.jpg

Mick, Chris, and Shawn was a little pissed when Eric started hogging the karaoke mic.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/27.jpg

HHH: "IIIIIIII'm a lumberjack, I'm OK! I sleep all night and I work all day!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/28.jpg

The Pedigree had to wait. Ric was taking off he clothes, and he was calling Trips a "Sexy Stew".

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/29.jpg

Benoit sighed. When they had him pinning inanimate steel chairs, he knew his depush was around the corner.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/30.jpg

HHH: "Ha ha! The belt... mine again! This is like that dream where I'm not wearing pants.

....

Oh crap."

[Kane Knight]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/03.jpg
Benoit: *Crossface*
Conway: OW! Why are you doing this!?
Benoit: Sorry, Austin told me to cripple all La Resistance on his night off.
Conway: Why the hell should you listen to Austin!?
Benoit: He's babysitting my kids tonight.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/05.jpg
Regal: Hello. You must be Mrs. Bischoff. I'm here for the blind date.
Eric: ...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/07.jpg
Matt: Okay... One, two, pull!
Jericho: *GRRRRRR*
Matt: Damnit, not budging!
Jericho: Rhyno is really being a dick.
Matt: Yeah I know, it's not like I wasn't already glued to the mat.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/11.jpg
Foley: "To... My... Number one fan... Debra... McMichael." Here ya go.
Austin: Gee thanks alot Mick, I'm sure she'll love it.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/14.jpg
Shelton: Alright Trips, get ready to go over me.
Triple H: Wait a m-
Shelton: Contract said I'd put you over, didnt say how!


LMAO

[Kane Knight]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/01.jpg

Trips: "Heh... don't worry, Shelton. You won't be buried like the Hurricane."
Shelton: "Uh, Hunter... Nose. Growing."
Trips: "Dammit."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/04.jpg

And here, we see Triple H trying to recapture the belt through the power of magnets.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/07.jpg

Jericho: "C'mon, Matt... the match is over.... let's go already."
Matt: "Please, Chris, have pity. The never let me enter the ring. They gave me a losing streak and they never told me! They were going to job me to Mark Henry! You can't take me away from the only true glory that I've felt in ... Ooooh! A penny!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/11.jpg

Mick was kinda perplexed by the size of Big Show's Q-tip.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/12.jpg

In a gimmick change that no one foresaw, Orton debuted as Randy, Pro-Bowler of God.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/14.jpg

Hunter's attempt at a hurricarana was cut short when he realized, too late, that he didn't have enough ground clearance.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/15.jpg

Vince was pissed. He he was, twenty-five years younger, and no one noticed!
AWESOME.

[Corkscrewed]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/01.jpg
Tired of using physical activity to bury his opponents, Triple H resorted to the hypnotic powers of Mala to turn them into an army of mindless jobbing drones.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/02.jpg
Johnny Giant-Cotton-Ball-On-An-Arm debuted to a mild reaction.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/03.jpg
Chris Benoit: The most vicious dandruff inspector in the game.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/04.jpg
Benoit wasn't pleased when HHH unleashed his giant championship title magnet.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/05.jpg
Eric: "William! Why you're back! Glad to see you fully recovered from the virus and everything!"
William: "Yes, it's a pleasure."
Eric: "Care for some of this sushi...?"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/06.jpg
It wasn't the fact that Trish was pleasuring herself right there in the chair that grossed out Christian. It was the fact that her penis was longer than his.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/07.jpg
Chris Jericho and the Quest to Work a Wheelbarrow Correctly continues...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/08.jpg
Christian and Trish were both outraged when they found out they were now from Rancho Cucamonga and Kissimmee, respectively.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/09.jpg
Jericho: "I got it! It got the wheelbarrow to work!"
Ref: "Um... it's backwards..."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/11.jpg
Mick Foley's heel turn was complete as he revelled in the victory of stealing the Olympic Torch.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/12.jpg
A-Train kicked off his newest angle by running down Orton with a locomotive, doing it "for the Ric."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/13.jpg
"And THAT's for stealing the Kool-Aid last week!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/14.jpg
Hebner: "Hey you! Kid! Stop holding that man down!"
Benjamin: "Aww shucks, but it's so fun!!!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/15.jpg
Batista eyed up the prize. It was a bit tall, but the Hunter-Shelton chair was just what he wanted.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/16.jpg
I knew Evolution was different. Instead of the casual, cool Ric Flair, the fourth member had been replaced by spunky, hyperactive Spike!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/17.jpg
The battle royal was all set to begin until Stacy saw a carton of orange juice labeled "concentrate."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/18.jpg
Trish: "Hey, Lita, I never got a chance to welcome you back, so welcome back!"
Lita: "ET go home!"
Trish: "Um... you're supposed to shake my hand..."
Lita: "You're a homo?"
Trish: "That's only with guys."
Lita: "Um... look! Dinosaur?"
Trish: *sigh* "Thank goodness I'm getting out of the division in the nick of time."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/19.jpg
Trish was furious when Steven Richards gave her a Danza slap over the back her head with his penis.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/21.jpg
Regal was exasperated. Out of all the managers, why did HE have to get stuck with Rob Scheider?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/22.jpg
Ref: "Let go now!"
Tajiri: "No!"
Ref: "I counted to five! You want me to disqualify you???"
Tajiri: "Go ahead!"
Ref: "Look! A silver quarter!"
Tajiri: "Oooh!"
*SPLAT*

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/23.jpg
King: "Ewwww!!! I said I wanted puppies, not some dog!"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/24.jpg
Eugene and William's Magic Show went awry when, to the fans' disappointment, they failed to make JR and King disappear.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/25.jpg
Edge does his best Dick Cheney after eating four cheeseburgers impression.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/26.jpg
Things were looking bad for Eric when the wrestlers found out he was the one responsible for all the changes in where wrestlers came from.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/27.jpg
Fortunately, for those rare cases when he fell below the surface of the glass ceiling, Triple H always brought an escape device to break through.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/28.jpg
Orton, Batista, and Hunter were so focused on Benoit's impending pedigree onto a steel chair that they failed to notice the hobo zombie wandering into the ring.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/29.jpg
Chris was devastated when Triple H took his belt just like that without a match or anything, but at least Evolution gave him a pinfall over a steel chair so that he could retain some of his credibility.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/30.jpg
"At last, the gold is mine agai-- what the? Dammit Invisible Crucifix! I have the belt now! You can stop targetting people that hold gold!"



Hm.... not good to do captions after watching your team get blown out at home by the Blazers. Those sucked.

[Rock Bottom]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/17.jpg
Stacy was proud to help Lillian set the stage to sing, "Under the Blue Moon."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/18.jpg
Trish: Lita, I know how you feel and all, but can we just be friends?
Lita: I knew it! You're a HOMO!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/19.jpg
When Trish did a split, the floor voiced it's approval. "Meeeoooow."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/20.jpg
Piper: Ahhhh... Gotta love the breeze.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/21.jpg
Regal: Okay Eugene... You *do* meet all the requirements for being the new Goldberg, except for one... you need to be a couple inches taller.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/22.jpg
The referee voiced his disapproval of Tajiri's new move, the "brown mist."

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/23.jpg
Eugene: Burger King! Burger King!
Lawler: For the last time Eugene, I am not made of beef!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/24.jpg
Regal came to save the day when Richards asked Eugene to explain nuclear physics.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/25.jpg
Where will you be when your diarrhea acts up and you've got a really bad itch you can't scratch because it's under your cast?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/26.jpg
Shawn: Wow, The Monday Night War DVD must have really had an impact on people.
Bischoff: What do you mean?
Benoit: Well, it looks like Vince trying to make you look like Satan worked, because you are growing horns.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/27.jpg
Triple H was a little confused when they asked him to help out with a Lumberjack Match.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/28.jpg
Triple H: Guys, a little help?
Flair: Oh sure...
Triple H: Flair you pervert, put your shirt back on. I just need to know if I'm in.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/29.jpg
Triple H demanded that Benoit sit in the time-out chair for taking the belt, and Benoit passed out after about the fifth hour.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/30.jpg
Triple H: I wonder if anyone will notice that this is just a replica... :shifty:

[Blue Demon]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/21.jpg
Eugene: HHH put a glass ceiling for me right here.
Regal: Then after your match with Hunter, you will go into the golden box.

[Loose Cannon]

^^^HAHA. The Golden Box resurrected

[Innovator]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/01.jpg
HHH: I know it was you Shelton *kisses him* you broke my heart!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/02.jpg
Hunter made sure Benoit lost all heat by sticking him into a staredown match with a newbie

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/03.jpg
Benoit takes his new "Sneezeguard" gimmick very seriously

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/04.jpg
Belty: Woohoo someone with talent, someone with talent, someon-
Benoit: Ok this is getting a little weird

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/05.jpg
Regal: Hello Eric, I'm back
Biscoff: MR. BEAN!!!!!!
Regal:.......oh shit

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/06.jpg
I know Christian is enjoying having Trish with him, but he's got to watch out for that Imperial Walker behind him

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/07.jpg
Jericho: Matt when was the last time you won?
Matt: Tell me about it, all because I had a better bracket than HHH, damn Oklahoma St

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/08.jpg
Both: ITS MORPHING TIME!!!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/09.jpg
Jericho: Couple more seconds and I've won...
Ref: Sorry Chris, I can't ring the bell for any Canadians anymore, strict rules
Jericho: But I live in NY now
Ref: Oh, in that case *rings bell*
Jericho: sucker

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/11.jpg
Mic: You're looking wonderful tonight babe, how about a session with the true Hardcore Legend?
JR: Mic you didn't see Dr. Jho did you?

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/12.jpg
Randy "Quarter-Hand" Orton debuts to a good reaction

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/13.jpg
HHH: Hey I remember you, aren't you the guy that ****ed my sister. Haven't seen you around in a while man, where'd you go?
(rep for the reference)

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/14.jpg
HHH: AH! What the hell are you doing?
Shelton: Just doing what the white guy has done to us for 400 years
HHH:....what's that?
Shelton: **** him

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/15.jpg
HHH sets up for the Ball n Chain Nut Slam

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/16.jpg
HHH: Shit! Stop Crucifixes Stop!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/17.jpg
Stacy can't get enough of those smooth silk ropes

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/18.jpg
Jesus, Lita even botches a handshake...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/19.jpg
Trish still feeling the effects of when Brock told her "Here Comes The Pain"

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/20.jpg
Jericho: hahahaha Holy Bartender I get that!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/21.jpg
Regal was as excited as anyone else that Brother Bluto made his WWE debut

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/23.jpg
Not what Regal had in mind when he told Eugene to take a bite out of crime

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/24.jpg
Eugene doing his best "WWE Booker" impression

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/25.jpg
Edge: Ah! my chest!
*HHH in back with a voodoo doll*
HHH: he he he he

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/26.jpg
Eric: Yes I had your hometowns changed, but I did it......for the Rock!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/27.jpg
God gives HHH the ol pat on the ass for his jobs recently

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/28.jpg
Batista: Pedigree, DO IT DO IT
Randy: Hey you stole my voice!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/29.jpg
Dude, Orton needs to cut better promos...

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/30.jpg
2000 and 2001 called, they want their photo back

[PorkSoda]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/18.jpg
Trish: Hello, I am Little Miss Tuffet, nice to meet you!
Lita: Can't stop now...give me all ya money!
Trish: What?
Lita: Sometimes I drive slow!
Trish: Can I buy your car for 500$
Lita: Don't you dare mess with my Mean Machine! It's raw and slick and Olive Green!


http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/01.jpg

Shelton: (To himself) White chocolate!
HHH: (To himself) Dark Chocolate!
Shelton (To himself): Slim Fast...lite!
HHH: (To Shelton) Kit-Kat!
Shelton: Hershy's!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/02.jpg

Johnny Nitro: Stop right there! I am the Abominal Snowman! I am here to stop you! Don't move! Put your hands up!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/05.jpg

Regal: Eric! So nice to see you! I'm Bullet Tooth Regal!
Eric: Regal! Now, should I call you Bullet? Tooth?
Regal: You can call me Susan if it makes you happy

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/09.jpg

Ref: Speak to me Matt, you can get out of this! You look like a boxer, aye! A boxer! Aye! Boxer? Aye? BOXER? AYE!?!?!?!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/29.jpg

Don't you think Benoit is too old to still have wet dreams?

[Blue Demon]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/30.jpg

Y-M-C-A!!!

[BigDaddyCool]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/30.jpg
Now back to our regularly scheduled porgramming.

[Blue Demon]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/30.jpg -->


http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/29.jpg -->


http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/30.jpg

Evolution of WWE

[Savio]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/19.jpg
The thing is Austin beating up Trish wasn't even in the script.
http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/23.jpg
Dinsmore: diarreah?
http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/20.jpg
Y2J: Damnit I put semen in my hair again
http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/21.jpg
YOUR hero meets Regal.

[MVP]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/05.jpg

REGAL: Hello, sunshine.
ERIC: Oh, hi, William. Good to see you.
REGAL: Yes, well, I just thought I'd inform you that I have come to replace Steve Austin as your backstage nemesis, so to speak.
ERIC: Oh. Well, thank you for informing me.
REGAL: You're quite welcome. Now, would you please direct me to the ladies' locker room.
ERIC: Down the hall to the left. Why do you ask?
REGAL: Oh, no reason. *Cracks knuckles* See you soon.

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/01.jpg

Trips: "Heh... don't worry, Shelton. You won't be buried like the Hurricane."
Shelton: "Uh, Hunter... Nose. Growing."
Trips: "Dammit."
ROFL!

[Savio]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/25.jpg
Edge:oooo heart burn
*camera goes to kane in a doctors suit*
Kane: I burn my self purposely everyday, but I can't take when my heart feels like its burning. Thats why sponser "Hydrofoutilcide" TM
Stone cold: I used to have heart burn until I took hydrofootball or what ever it's called
Kane: Buy some Hydrofoutilcide today!
Side effects are hitting your boss, drinking on the job,guest starring in nash bridges, pretending to be a sheriff, getting fired twice, chasing people with an ATV and beating women

[Coco Cow]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/27.jpg

PETER/PAUL/MARY: No need to rub it in, asshole.
:rofl:
Nice.

[El Santo]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/01.jpg
HHH: I know it was you Shelton *kisses him* you broke my heart!

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/05.jpg
Regal: Hello Eric, I'm back
Biscoff: MR. BEAN!!!!!!
Regal:.......oh shit


http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/26.jpg
Eric: Yes I had your hometowns changed, but I did it......for the Rock!



LOL

[loopydate]

:rofl:
Nice.

I repped you for getting that reference. I was wondering if anyone would.

BTW, something strange happened when I sent that rep, so it's probably going to look something like

"Thanks aba0soiguaslkj"

[Kane Knight]

"If I had a hammer..."

[CBright7831]

http://raw.wwe.com/results/040504/images/05.jpg

REGAL: Hello, sunshine.
ERIC: Oh, hi, William. Good to see you.
REGAL: Yes, well, I just thought I'd inform you that I have come to replace Steve Austin as your backstage nemesis, so to speak.
ERIC: Oh. Well, thank you for informing me.
REGAL: You're quite welcome. Now, would you please direct me to the ladies' locker room.
ERIC: Down the hall to the left. Why do you ask?
REGAL: Oh, no reason. *Cracks knuckles* See you soon.


There have been alot of good ones, but this one has me laughing everytime I see it. Probably because I can actually see Regal saying that.

[HBKHHH]

The reference in Innovators caption if from The Program