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Crazy Steve really isn't crazy.
Ultimo Dragon |
Ultimo dragon changed his real name to dragon so that Vince couldnt copyright it.
Bruce Prichard |
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Beth Phoenix |
Beth Phoenix is only in the HOF because she's banging Edge.
Edge |
Edge's neck problems are a direct repercussion of banging Beth Pheonix
Jinder Mahal |
JBL is now saying Modern Day Maharaja in his sleep.
Doink the Clown. |
The Doink the Clown gimmick was only given to guys who are legitimately afraid of clowns.
Mike Knox |
Mike Knox gives a 1 star rating to every show on Netflix whether he has watched it or not.
The Destruction Crew |
Whether it is by hook or by crook the Brothers Beverly always take the crown.
They are also however well known to all of the hookers in town. Demolition Smash. |
Demolition Smash's golf clubs were once repossessed by a Truck Driver.
Lance Cade |
Up until his 28th birthday, Lance Cade thought that Upper Decker was the only way to use a toilet.
Roderick McMahon II |
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Zangief from Street Fighter |
Santino Marella also tried to punk out Zangief from Street Fighter but got shut down too.
Drew McIntyre |
Drew McIntyre was also at the Bullet Club invasion, but everyone confused him for Matt Jackson, so he got away with being there.
Marty Scruill |
Shane Mchohan used to regularly prank call Ted Turners home asking to speak to the nacho man
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No one ever spells Marty Scrurl's name correctly. It's Marty Scuirrlll.
Booker T |
Booker T had to turn down the role of Namor in the proposed Sub-Mariner movie because he had to film that shampoo commercial in Japan.
Scott Putski |
Scott Putski is actually Italian.
Alex Porteau |
Porteau is a portmanteau of portmanteau and portmanteau.
Melina |
Melina forced John Morrison have sex with Batista for a push.
The Patriot Del Wilkes |
The Patriot's gear was all made in North Korea.
Handsome Stranger (keeping it Global, yo!) |
Handsome stranger is a male prostitute but what is not so widely known is that his mother ,Judy, films his "work".
Jimmy Valiant |
Jimmy Valiant is not Jimmy Valiant's real name. He was born Stephen Valiant.
Rhyno |
There's a warrant out for Rhyno in the NYC because he speared a squad car when fighting Spiderman.
Buck Zumhofe |
Buck Zumhofe Claimed to be the original rock and Roller, But behind the scenes loved Madoona as it set the mood with Minors
Sting |
Sting is secretly Andy Summers (Yes, I had to look that up...)
Vader |
Vader was supposed to be the father of Bret Hart's alter ego, Luke Leglocker.
Rikishi |
Rikishi is actually Andy Dick in a fat suit.
Paul Bearer |
Wow, I've only now realized what's with the name Paul Bearer.
I'm witty like that. |
When Paul Bearer appeared with the urn it was actually filled with cocaine. His face was not pale due to makeup but a fine dusting of said cocaine acquired over the course of the evening.
Snitsky |
It WAS his fault.
Kassius Ohoo. |
Kassius Ohno was fired from the WWE for being too skinny, and Triple H wanted him to come back after gaining some weight. This is all so he can lose the weight as part of a publicity event to accompany a big feel-good push with a celebrity in his corner. But then the stuff with Jarrod from Subway got messy and now he's just back in NXT.
Shelton Benjamin |
Shelton Benjamin's Gold Standard Gimmick Was supposed to be a rip off of Austin Powers, but had to change it because he couldnt do a promo with the Mike Myers accent.
Psycho Sid |
Sid only wrestled so he could pay for scholarships for poor students that wanted to go to Harvard where he teaches English literature.
Buff Bagwell |
Buff was the Stuff because he was quietly one of the first to embrace a vegan diet, or as the boys called it back then, "Queer Food"
Kane |
Kane was going to have his own "Big Red Machine" drink mixer endorsement, but Hogan stole the deal from under him to sell the Hulk Hogan Thunder Mixer.
Larry Zbyzsko |
Larry Zbyzsko can't spell his last name
Lenny Lane |
Lenny Lane can't spell his last name
Jerry Lynn |
Jerry Lynn can't spell his name so he goes by Lenny Lane.
Bruno Sammartino |
Bruno Sammartino once left the WWF Title on the subway, which explains the belt's first change in design.
Melina |
Melina was meant to feud with her twin sister, but WWE couldn't get the price right for Ketana.
Aja Kong |
Aja Kong is actually the step-daughter of King Kong .
Maxx Payne |
Rockstar Games only created Max Payne because Man Mountain Rook would've been an even more obvious ripoff.
Barry Darsow |
Barry Darsow gimmick in WCW was originally supposed to be Glacier.
Mike Sanders |
Mike Sanders was only hire in wcw because he told Bischoff he was related to the founder of KFC.
Jim Johnston |
Jim Johnston got released because Vince found out he ghost wrote Eminem's BET Cypher
CM Punk |
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Essa Rios.
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Essa Rios doesn't even remember who the fuck Essa Rios was.
Negro Casas |
Negro Casas is Oprah's favorite wrestler.
Debra |
Debra used breast milk to make her cookies
Barry O |
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Zodiac (Ed Leslie version.) |
"Zodiac" Ed Leslie kept saying "Yes! No! Yes! No!" because he was double-minded; and he floundered without Hogan because, "A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways."
Speaking of dichotomous people: Finn Balor |
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Joe McHugh. |
Joe McHugh helped beat up Tom Magee over a parking spot the other day.
The Zodiac (Barry Orton version, and look him up on YouTube while you are at it.) |
The Zodiac is really Randy Orton's Transgendered Father
PN News |
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Slow baby slow baby yo. MENG!!!! |
Meng is right behind me as we speak, so I can't say anything mean about him, as I don't want to die.
Jim Cornette |
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Taka Michinoku |
My friend Craig once met Taka Michinoku and couldn't understand him, and believed he was constantly asking for What-A-Burger
Simon Gotch |
Thread revival :
The girl that James Ellsworth sent dick pics to is actually the illegitimate daughter of Shawn Michaels and Sunny. Bray Wyatt |
Rumor: Nia Jax only eats 1400 calories a day
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Bray Wyatt paid off JoJo to pretend to be in a relationship to get cred with the boys.
Luke Harper |
Luke Harper is a master ventriloquist. He actually did the talking in all of the Bray Wyatt promos.
AJ Lee |
Quote:
D'lo Brown |
D'Lo Brown wore his chest protector only to conceal a knife that he often threatened to stab his opponents with if they didn't sell properly for him.
Rick Martel |
Rick Martel's smile is what made the Grinch's heart grow three sizes.
Sting |
Sting's a TV network executive. Time always runs out for a show whenever he shows up somewhere.
Kenny Omega. |
Kenny Omega has a body pillow that has Jessica from Dragon Quest VIII on it.
PCO |
PCO wants to do an angle where he uses Bret Hart's jacket that he stole in 1995 to take his mojo, transforming into a new gimmick: "le tueur à gages".
Evan Karagias |
Evan Karagias was actually the guy that beat Hulk Hogan during the New Blood/Millionaires Club feud, but no one was paying enough attention to notice.
The Sandman |
The guy who installed my kitchen floor told me that The Sandman from ECW actually has a deep fear of badgers.
"Iron" Mike Sharpe |
"Iron" Mike Sharpe was literally made of iron. This is why he displayed such robotic tendencies outside the ring. He was a project launched to see if robot wrestlers could be a thing.
Chris Candido |
During the early years of his ECW career, Chris Candido also had a very short-lived porn career under the name "Chris Candildo".
Lance Storm. |
Lance Storm and Jericho hate each other because Storm told Jericho's wife about his affair with Kelly Kelly.
Mustafa Ali |
Mustafa Ali and Lance Storm hate each other because Storm told Ali's wife about his affair with Kelly Kelly.
Kelly Kelly |
Kelly Kelly also had an affair with Lance Storm.
Joey Janella IS TRASH!! |
Joey Janella's really name is Joey Marella, but he is not the son of Gorilla Monsoon.
Rikishi |
Contrary to his entrance music, Rikishi is not in fact a "Bad, Bad Man" but is rather a "Sad, Sad Man", having had a lifelong struggle with depression.
Ravishing Rick Rude |
Ravishing Rick Rude almost got given the gimmick of "Radishman" Rick Rude, where he would bonk people over the head with a giant raddish.
Jack Tunney |
Jack Tunney covered up a sex scandal between Bad News Brown's mutant sewer rat and that possum he kept pulling out during the feud with Jake "The Snake" Roberts.
Speaking of... Jake "The Snake" Roberts. |
Jake Roberts paid an LSD-ridden scientist to trade places with him sometimes in the mid-90s when the scientist's attempts to communicate with dolphins failed, and Jake was upset that he was never going to get the top spot in the industry. He now lives on an island and goes by Bobby "The Dolphin Trainer" Smith.
Hardcore Holly |
Vince McMahon ordered Hardcore Holly to call Michael Cole a shithead at WrestleMania2000.
Steve Mongo McMichael. |
Mongo's disappearance from WCW was due to getting kidnapped by the Godfather's Hos.
Will Ospreay |
Will Ospreay dated Paige when she was in the indies.
Stephanie McMahon |
Stephanie did NOT fuck Randy Savage
Randy Savage |
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Natalya |
DISQUALIFIED! We're still on Randy Savage, yes we are. First name Macho Last name Man.
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Macho Man never did cocaine. His buddies gave him pixie sticks and lied it was coke, but it worked like placebo and that's why he was the way he was.
Buff Bagwell |
The woman that does my drywall told me that Buff Bagwell got engaged at the Best Buy in Peach Tree City, GA
Frenchy Martin |
Frenchy Martin gave Randy Savage pixie sticks, and told him it was cocaine.
Drake Maverick |
Stephanie McMahon had sex with Drake Maverick.
Lars Sullivan |
Lars Sullivan videod it
Razar |
Razar's favorite movie is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2.
Uh...…..Dana Brooke. |
Dana Brooke forcefed her fiance, Dallas McCarver and that's why he choked to death.
New Jack |
New Jack is a nice guy
Candice Michelle |
Candice Michelle used a body double for the Skinemax porn she was in.
Playboy Buddy Rose |
The blow-away diet really works!
Rhyno |
Rhyno's gimmick was originally to be that of a person with a severe drinking problem and his name was to be Whyno, but after the person behind the character drunkenly beat a child prostitute to death, Vince decided this is in way too poor taste, even for him.
Mike Awesome |
Mike Awesome lost a bet with The Miz's dad ,which is why Miz is Awesome.
Billy Kidman. |
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