wrestling products we'll never see (by new poster)
 

Here a few to start off:

Brock Lesnar Crying Towel

"HHH edition" WWE belt (once you put it on, you can never take it off)

8x10 Autographed photo of Matt Hardy's first clean win on RAW since coming from SD (NOT YET AVAILABLE)

"How to get jobbed without really trying" by Glen Jacobs

Bob Holly's Buttery Popcorn (WARNING: Rarely EVER gets a POP)

RVD Cheetos - Because you always have the munchies when your *points to self* R-V-D.

Booker T Monopoly game NOW with over 100 get out of jail free cards.

lol

Kurts learning how to fall 20 feet video.

:lol:

Brock Lesner approved internet filters, now with no wrestling sites available other than WWE.com

<font color="#99CCFF">Undertaker's "make yourself look dead" hat</font>

Ultimo Dragon t-shirt. On the front it says, "I held ten titles at once..." and the back says, "and came to WWE just to fall at Wrestlemania TWICE!"

Ric Flair Moobs (man boobs) with adjustable sag

Hulk Hogan's Hair Club For Men
GUARANTEED TO CURE BALDNESS*


*it's just a $300 bandana. shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :shifty:

Mic Foley sunglasses.
Chris Benoit Dentures.

<font color="#99CCFF">Rosey workout video

:shifty:</font>

Kevin Nash T-shirt

On the front: I Came, I Saw, I........
On the Back: Tore my Quad.

"Business ethics and me" By Triple H

Good one! :lol:

Edge's magical razor. " Once it cuts off the hair, the hair never grows back."

LOL @ all of these except the Ultimo one.

You make fun of Ultimo, I cut you.

<font color="#99CCFF">Undertaker's "How to make other people look good" book</font>

<font color="#99CCFF">Sable's water balloons...
Pop when you least expect it</font>

If he were to reply to this topic what would what would kevin do? do? Sorry had to say that.

Did ultimo quit?

<font color="#99CCFF">He's still listed on the Superstars page of the Smackdown site</font>

An ad for acting classes led by Torrie

Joanie Laurer's Do-it-yourself Sex Change Kit

Big shows How to almost kill a man and not go to jail.
----------------------------
Bradshaws' Make more money now!

<font color="#99CCFF">Big Show's How to make doors bigger kit</font>

<font color="#99CCFF">Jerry Lawler Puppies</font>

The Scott Steiner "Work out" kit.

"Put her in her place" by Steve Austin

JR's BBQ Sauce...
oh wait.. :shifty:

Lol, good topic.

How bout...

- Goldberg's guide to technical wrestling

This sounds like it should be in the brainteasers thread.

<font color="#99CCFF">Which has died :(</font>

<font color="#99CCFF">Ultimate Warrior's how not to be greedy guide</font>

ROLF!! I love it!

The Symbiotic Destrucity of the Destitute Minions of... by James "Warrior" Hellwig

Ha! Just TRY Turning the Pages! by Rhyno

Chavo Guerrero Brand Gravity Boots

"Lesnar 1" San Diego Chargers jersey

Papa Shango guide to voodoo, AKA, how to become a pimp.

Hardcore holly greatest matches (blank tape)

:lol:

Is that on the same tape as Al Snow's??? ( Go foley)

New WWE "Double Life" Action Figures

Brock Lesnar: Comes with NFL snap on accessories.
HHH: Comes with snap on horns, a pitchfork, and an eternal glass ceiling
Randy Orton (Miracle Maker): Comes with snap on white robe/golden halo and the eucharist.

Ultimo Dragon: Comes with lemonade stand and snap on vendor accessories.
Steve Austin: Comes with snap on ski mask/black outfit, a baseball bat and 1 of 75 custom made "wives" of your choosing.

Eddie Guerrero Fake ID Set... Never leave home without one!

Mick Foley Barbed Wire Tooth Brush

Vince McMahon's official "Kiss My Ass Fanclub" card.

Box -o- Bad Gimmicks, featuring "A Real Man's Man", "The Shockmaster", and many more of the worst costumes for the worst gimmicks!

Christian's CLB Sandwich... Beats a BLT any day!

Jerry Lawler and JR's first, and last, single: Puppies! Bahgawd, Puppies!

Undertaker's "How To Turn Dead" in two easy steps! (Note, The steps are add a logo to your pants and add a hat to your costume...)

Steve Austin's "Control Your Inner Urges" Book

Triple H's "Sleep Your Way To The Top, WHILE On top!" Popup Book

<font color="#99CCFF">-edit- Sorry, feel guilty for posting that</font>

HHH's Gravity Manipulation Kit. "Is sure to hold everyone down on the first try."

Authentic Shawn Stasiak Tape Recorder

JR Cattle Brand "BAH GAWD! IT'S A HOSS!"

WWE Divas Calendar... featuring Jazz

"Tajiri teaches phonics" by Yoshihiro Tajiri

I thought I heard it before.

<font color="#99CCFF">How to disapear completely by Paul London</font>

<font color="#99CCFF">Zack Gowen's "how to stand on your own two feet" book

I don't feel so guilty now</font>

Brian Lawler's book, "How to get past border security"

to be followed by

Rob Van Dam's "How to get past border security"
- Chapter 1: Finding Brian lawlers gym bag.

:lol:

A Baby's First Book book... "Daddy's Quad Tore Agian Mommy" By Triple H, co-written by Kevin Nash.

Rhyno Brand "Stuck on You" Glue

Maven's Guide to Wrestling

RVD Approved Bongs

RVD Approved Pipes

Triple H Wig... Have the source of his powers!

Books on Tape with Funaki

Booker T Action Figure, with Spin-a-roonie action!

Spike Dudley "Jobba 4 Eva" T Shirt

Evolution's Guide to the YMCA

<font color="#99CCFF">Gerald Brisco and Pat Paterson Evening Gowns</font>

<font color="#99CCFF">A-train shavers</font>

The topic is, "wrestling products we'll never see."

He's never seen them either :lol: :y:

ROFLMFAO!!!

Ortonbot

Ric Flair brand breast implants

also

- Ric Flair brand wrinkle cream and liver spot remover

"Correct wrestling move names" By Jim Ross

"How to maintain a loving relationship" By Steve Austin

Goldberg's "Guide to working a match" (Not for "sell")

Randy Orton's "Suck up the heat from others Ultra-Vacuum"

"Show that beady eyed bitch who has the penis!" written by Steve Austin

"How to have have talent and personality yet still fail on the j.o.b" By Matt Hardy

Triple H's "Boss's daughter Spanish fly"

Kevin Nash "Snap on quad"

The Jim Ross "easy fold pinic table"...it literally breaks in half!

Lita's "Guide to botching life"

Mark Henry's "Stank in a can" by the manufacturers of YJStinger

"Glen Jacob's credibility" (can be bidded off eBay, from PaulLeVesque666)

"How to control death." by Paul Wight (Since he did survive a monster truck fall from a building once and prevented Angle from dying :shifty: )

Sabu's medical kit (includes super glue and tape)

Stevie Richards' invisibility cream

Custom made Sean O'Haire cage.

Issue of Playboy featuring Nicole Bass *Full Frontal*

"Rodney Mack: The Day I Got Shot In The Ass" Tragic Autobiography

Goldberg's "How to win a squash match in 5 mins" book should be a hotseller.

:lol: :y: LMFAO

Matt Hardy - "How to have loads of talent and no push V1.0"

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Loose Cannon again. :(

Hey do I get some love for starting the thread? :shifty:

Books:
The Rock: How to talk Sh1t and influence people
Jeff Hardy: I'm not weird
Creating Wrestling Pushes for Dummies
The Idiots guide to storylines
How to waste careers and bury people

<font color=goldenrod>The World Heavyweight Title Replica belt with available nameplates: Lance Storm, Rhyno, Steven Richards, The Hurricane, Eugene Dinsmore, or Matt Hardy</font>

HBK action figure (smile not included)
"Dogs: the other white meat" by The Bossman

Ipecac by Droz

"Wild and Crazy Guy" by Steve Blackman (taken off of an Al Gore joke)

an Eeyore Doll that lost its tail but found HBK's smile...

The John Tenta Diet.

"Getting by on Talent" by Lex Luger

Overkill by all collective members of nWo

Glad you like it :y:

Hulk Hogan Tan Cream

Rikishi and Visera's "Sweatin to the Newies" Video Collection

Kevin Nash's Guide to Wrestling Safely

Kevin Nash's "I Tore My Quad Showering" Autobiography

Steve Austin Doll... Now with Wife Beating action! (Caution: May attack all females in the room)

Kurt Angle Doll... With Neck Frigging Breaking Action!

Big Show-Strength Toilet Paper

"1001 Ways to Bury Your Tallent... The FUNNY Way!" By Vince McMahon

"Eugene, I Hardly Used Thee... Correctly..." By Vince McMahon

Eugene Dinsmore The Auto Biography - E=MC2

Maven - Seems I actually wasn't Tough Enough

Glen Jacobs - Im really good at my JOB

Mark Callaway - Me and my Trenchcoat

Rey Mysterio feat Skee-Lo - I wish I was a little bit taller............ :wtf: (No1 in the singles chart methinks) :)

I don't know why, but this is one of my favorites.

Must say this is my favourite by far, PH you are the man :y:

-Randy Orton's "How to Get Over On Your Own Merits" (remember, this is items we'll NEVER see)

-Board Game: Hide-and-Seek with HBK's Smile

-"Wrestlecrap: A Personal Account" by Glenn Jacobs

-Undertaker Halloween Costume: Just put on a hat, and everyone will think you're a zombie!

-"An Excercise in Coherent Writing," by The Ultimate Warrior

-Alcohol Rehab Seminars, hosted by Scott Hall

-DVD Set: Ric Flair, King of the Death Match

Guide to Public Speaking by Chris Beniot
How to change your look and theme song every 90 day by HHH
Retirement, the Golden Years by Ric Flair
Miss Jackie Blooper real (must be over 18 to purchase)

Well thanks for all the replies. I never expected to get so many on my first post. You guys are great!

the LITA "Big Book of Ring Psycology"

"How To Not Sound Hypocritical", by Jim Ross

"I AM the glass ceiling" by HHH
"How to be a human target" by the spanish announce table

Needles??

Rob Conway's French Toast

Who Moved my Push? by Kane

Ding Ding Ding... What does he win Johnny???

He wins a brand new 24 pack of Trojan extended pleasure condems... * Applause*

"look I'm a good wrestler" By Bob holly

Childrens book "Stone cold wants a beer get him one before he punches your mother" by Stone cold

WTF? :lol:

Inflatable Rico Sex Doll, Anatomically Correct!

Kane Doormat (Cause, you know, everyone walks all over him...)

Paul Heyman Yankees Baseball Cap... With detachable pony tail!

Dudley Boyz Table (Comes pre-smashed)

Bah... I got nothing right now... Just wanted to get that first one out...

SAT Guidebook bt Chris Nowinski
Theodore Long inflatable "feel me" playa doll
Stephanie McMahon storyline crayons
Do it yourself casketry by Paul Bearer

Earl Hebner bumper sticker: I hate Canadians

LMAO!!

Seriously... suddenly Savior's been going ballistic with his funny side! This is much better than your idiot side! :p :lol:

"How to have talent but screw them up" written by vince mcmahon, edited by ultimo dragon.

LOL