GAME: Wrestling Scenes from a Hat
 

All right, if you've ever watched that show Whose Line Is It Anyway? you've probably seen a segment called Scenes from a Hat, where the host pulls out a "scene" written on a sheet of paper from a hat and has the actors act it out.

Basically, I'll be pulling out "scenes" for you guys to act out in a humorous manner. The object of the game is to come up with the funniest response. You might remember a few months ago, someone started a thread called "Things you shouldn't say to Triple H," and everyone gave a lot of great responses of their own. This is pretty similar, except that every few days, I'll come up with a new scene.

It's pretty simple, but I do have a few notes. Because this is just a message board you can't really act out something, so responses will have to use a bit of roleplay. It's sort of like captioning or even that TPWW Hardcore Championship thread, where you "act something out" through writing. I say this because sometimes, I'll give a scene, and a reply may just be a simple one or two word statement. I'd like to encourage people to act out stuff instead. For example, if the scene is "Inappropriate moments to do so-and-so," instead of just saying something like "after bed" or "in the morning," act out that scene. If the scene asks for a movie name, maybe give a bit of a trailer that might air for that movie.


Just a few rules:
- ONE SCENE PER REPLY. You can only post one "response" at a time. Don't list a whole bunch of them in one post. This is just to allow others who might have a similar idea to get their chance to post.
- NO DOUBLE POSTING. Obviously, since you can only post one answer at a time, some might feel tempted to post six replies in six posts. That's kinda cheap, so I'd like to discourage that. If you have two or more good ones, either wait for someone else to post one of theirs or wait five minutes.
NOTE: Technically, I can't prevent people from multi-posting, so if you did double or triple post, it'd be okay... but try not to make a habit of it. Like, once a week or month is the max.
- The only double posting allowed is to respond to another person's scene in one post and then give your own example in another. Obviously, if you think someone posted a classic respond, by all means show your approval with a :lol: or :rofl: or whanot. That way, we can have sort of like a live audience thing.
- Please try to keep your scenes short. Few people like to read whole biographies for these things. :)
- Once a round is over, no more replies can be made for it. Make your replies only for the most recent scene suggestion.


Anyway, sorry about all those rules, but I'd like to be clear about the game. It's really pretty simple and has the potential for gold (El Santo, Rock Bottom, Loopydate, Kane Knight, Nowhere Man, I'm looking at you guys) from everyone, really. I just want to make sure it doesn't get screwed up.

Anyway, first scene coming up...

I'll start off with one of my own just to set the tone.


"So, Vince, I hear your daughter, Steph is a squirter..."

"Hi Vinnie Mac, is it true you like the cock?"

"Hey maybe we could do an Invasion angle with XFL?"

Corkscrewed, I know this is just for fun, but maybe, like on Whose Line is it Anyway, you could give points to the top three, just for no reason at all? Maybe sort of like a best of that topic sort of thing?

"So I saw these GREAT cruiserweights wrestling the other day, I think they were from ECW or something, and..."

Dan Madigan (New creative writing team guy):So Vince I've got some great idea's for both shows I've been up all weekend:

Vince: Well thats great Dan, ou can tell me about them while you make the coffee.

Dan Madigan: Uh Ok, So Vince that big fella you have on the roster Kane, He's really something huh.

Vince: Yeah we had great plans for him to start with but it's tailed off with the old writing team. Thats partly why I've hired you.

Dan Madigan: Great well I've got a brilliant idea, Why don't we put him in a series of matches with smaller guys and have him job to them?

Vince: Jesus farking christ thats a brilliant idea, I like the cut of your jib. What else have you got there Dan?

Dan Madigan: Well after these matches I figure the smaller guys are gonna look like great athletes and thats going to be great for ratings. It will really get them over and we can use them a bit better than we have been in the past.

Vince: I don't see where this is goign Dan.

Dan Madigan: (Switches conversation back to bigger guys) And this Undertaker guy, he's been around for over a decade, He's never lost at 'Mania, I was thinkign maybe we could have him in a feud with Booker T going into 'Mania next year and having Booker T win, This would get Booker T really over with the fans and then we could use him better than we are right now,

Vince: Again Dan I don't see where this is going.

Dan Madigan: Well what about this A-Train Guy, He's absolutely huge he's a hoss in every sense of the word. He is a real man, He's as hairy as hell yet the fans hate him. I was thinkign we could put him in a series of matches with some of the crusiers on Smackdown, Have three or four of the cruisers possibly Rey Mysterio, Shannon Moore, Billy Kidman go over him clean and move their careers forward.

Vince: What are you talking About Dan? A-Train is great I'm sure the fans love him, Look at all the 'Shave Your Back' signs they bring along to cheer him on.

Dan Madigan: OK OK What about we bring back Nathan Jones and Brock Lesnar and put them in a stable with A-Train, Undertaker, Kane and the Big Show, Have them all float between shows like the undisputed champ used to do. And hold every belt available between them.

Vince: Now your talkignt hat would be fantastic.

Dan Madigan: Then I was thinking we could have another stable, A rival stable if you will. It would conisist of Chris Jericho, Tajiri, Matt Hardy, Sean O'Haire and Lance Storm and Ultimo Dragon as the leader of the stable. They would have a great feud between the stable going into a 12 man elimination tag match with every title on the line. the new 'opposing stable' would win all the belts and move the guys in that stables careers forwards.

Vince: YOUR FIRED

<font color=white>"And then in a swerve that no-one's gonna see coming, we bring in the WBF, led by Lex Luger and repackage the whole thing as WWE vs. the XFLWBF!"</font>

How's it like to have a son with the World Heavyweight Title tatooed to his expanding waist?

So Vince... how was Steph last night?

Mr McMahon, I got to tell you, I really enjoy reading those Smackdown Spoilers posted on the web every Wednesday.

So how about That Lex Express? you really dropped the ball with that

*Vince, I think it's about time Chris Jericho is placed in the main event again...*

Vince, did you see the captions TPWW made for your son-in-law this week.

":lol: Do the funny walk again, Vince. Come on!"

So Vince.....who lowered the breifcase for you in your laddermatch against Austin. Or what was the whole note deal about with Booker T.

"Hey Vince, where ya get yer 'roids"

:rofl: :y:

"Hey, Vince... I was watching Raw the other night and ... were you REALLY alone in that skybox? Because I swear I saw you smiling, and you were watching a non-hoss match. Was there someone that was, say, just below of the camera view? Was it Sable? I bet it was Sable."

"Hey Vince, I read on the internet that Bret Hart is coming back in some gigantic surprise angle..."

" Vince... With all the success that Triple H was having, I was wondering... Does... Shane... errr.. you know... swing both ways???"

Hey, Vince!
I hear that Sean O'Haire had a great match the other night.........you should sign that guy!

1000 points to Nowhere Man, Loopy, and El Santo. Yeah. I'm biased. :p

BTW, Ferocious... way too long.


Rejected nicknames for Steve Austin

" Well Steve, since you're from the deep south we're goign to call you The Mother****er..."

Steve (Snuggles) Austin

JR: "It's SNUGGLES! SNUGGLES! He just gave McMahon a TEDDYBEAR! TAKE THAT YOU SONOFABITCH!!!"

The Ringmaster...what?...He WAS named The Ringmaster?...Nevermind then.

"And now entering the ring, from Victoria, Texas, "The Wifebeater," STEVE AUSTIN!!!

:lol: I dunno why, but I think that's hilarious.

Ms. Austin: "So Steve was trying to decide on a name, and I served him some tea. And I told him, 'Be careful, luv, this tea is watered down.' And we looked at each other and we said, 'Watered Down Steve Austin'.

"He thought it was a great idea and it just might take. Apparently it didn't. We decided to rip off a name from a Queen cover album instead."

very original. Didn't see that coming :p

Beautiful!

Fine, LC.

"And now entering the ring, from Victoria, Texas, Old Stone STEVE AUSTIN!!!"

Crap, that sucked too. I'll just leave this up to the masters.

I can't think of a good one eathier. My mind is sh** right now. Dam Finals week

William Stevens

Ah crap, I don't think this will go anywere.

2000 Stone Cold points to El Santo.

If the Rob Van Dam was a motivational speaker..."

"Duuuuuude, it's like I told you. It's not enough to WANT Cheetos. You have to rise above yourself, reach out, and TAKE the Cheetos!"

"Mister Van Dam, this is a third-grade art class. What are you doing here?"

"It's cool. Whoa! Clay!"

OK, now we're talking.

ROB speaking to 8yr old kids about the dangers of drugs

**Rob comes in a little high.

Rob: OK kids, today I want to talk to you about how you roll th....Oh wait...about what you do when someone offers you an illegal substance...

**Rob turns to teacher

Rob: Wait is it legal or illegal? Illegal right? Well anyhow, when someone comes up to you and offers you drugs, you should always take some time and think about it first. Or is it that you should say NO right away? I always get this confused because if you say NO right away you might hurt the other guys feelings. Right? I would take a minute to think about it, and hey maybe you can get a discount.

**Rob starts laughing and teacher tells him it's time to leave.


ROB: Before I go, let me just say one thing. Doing Drugs only gets in the way of achieving goals...well, unless your name is....R.V.D.

Christ, I wrote a dam story.

*RVD speaking to 3rd graders*
RVD (to teacher) : Hey duuude why didn't you play my music mannnn I'm R-V-D. Well anyways kids just be cool ya know cool.

Kid: can you 5 star frog splash me

RVD: no dude

Kid: Please!
*Kids start chanting 5 star*

RVD: SHUT THE **** UP YOU LITTLE PEices duuuude where am I?
Jeff hardy: Hey Rob! Lets smoke some pot!

I don't know why, but this topic is harder than it should be. :-\

RVD: Hey guys. Keep jumping off buildings and smoking the sh*t! The day is yours.

Kid: Even Moday & Thursday?

Rob: No you little dumbass, they're my f'n nights!

Rob: Don't do drugs because I'm....ROB....VAN.....DAM

Kids: But Rob, that doesn't make sense.

Rob: It doesn't matter cause I'm ROB....VAN....DAM

Kids: Why do you keep saying that???

Rob: It's just something that I do cause I'm ROB...VAN...

Kids: Oh Christ.....

Silly question:

Why's a motivational speaker talking to third graders? (Seems to be a running thread here and whatnot)

Duuuude... First all you need to do is chill. The first lesson is learning how to chill. After you have mastered that then learn how to ease yourself. Spell it with me

*points to self with each letter

E...A...S...E

After you have the ease inside of you, you can do whatever you want. You are now a master of yourself and soon you will be able to chill just like... and point to yourself when doing this...

*points to self with each letter

R...V...D

I thank you for your time and now go and chill.

RVD:"My name is Rob Van Dam. I work for World Wrestling Entertainment, I am thrice de-pushed, and I live in a Van down by the river. Now, I know you kids are thinking, 'Rob, I'm gonna go out there, and grab the world by the tail, pull it down, and put it in my pocket!' Well, I'm here to tell you guys that as you go out there and sign a contract with VInce, you're not going to amount to JACK SQUAT!!!! Young lady, what do you wannna do with your life?!"

Stephanie:"I wanna be a booker for WWE!"

RVD: "Well, LA-DEE-FREAKIN'-DA! Looks like we got ourselves a writer here!"

Hunter: "Actually, Rob, we've really encouraged Steph in her writings."

RVD: "Pal, I wish you would just shut your big yapper!" (Hunter writes down RVD's name in his 'to be buried' list) "Well, you'll have plenty of time for writing storylines, when you're living in A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!! Young man, what do you wanna do?!"

Jeff Hardy: "I want to live in a van down by the river."

RVD: "Well.....you'll have plenty of time for....living in a van down by the river....when you're.....you're living in A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!!"

Sadly I cant think of anything for this. I must be thinking to hard. I will be back after a little RVD.

lmao at Nowhere Man. "Hey kids I can't see very well, Is that Will Shakespeare over there". That's my favorite line.

I noticed this too. Doesn;t a motivational speaker try to motivate people that are old enough to appreciate it?

Well RVD is motivating the kids to go out and say NO to drugs. How about that?

well for me RVD is speakin to a group that can at elast appreciate it

*For the Austin One*

"Bone Gold" Steve Austin. The Bionic Redneck turns heel and takes the world's supply of gold, and lacs his skeleton with it, feuding with Chris Benoit.

Hm, one more rule. Once a round is over, you can't give suggestions for it anymore. Sorry.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
That is not a sweater
There's no wool anywhere
In fact, I think it's better
I'm wearing only hair!
WOO!

To the tune of "Cabaret"
 

beings with A-Train, stting on a chair and facing its back, while a single solitary spotlight shines on him

What good is sitting alone in your room
Come see the big hoss plaaaaaaaay,
Life is a cabaret, old chum,
Come to the cabaret.

Come see my smoke, come see my flab,
I'm now on Raw, and I'm celebrating,
Right this way, your seat is waiting.

I might be Derailing Benoit really soon,
He might be depushed todaaaaaay,
Life is a cabaret, old chum.
Come see the cabaret.

I'm the guy you know who's really slow & hairy,
I wore a shirt 'cuz Droz said it looked scary.
I wasn't what you call a blushing flower.
As a matter of fact, I shaved my back last hour.

The day she tried to shave my back she nicked me.
I knew I shouldn't've powerbombed poor Stephanie.
After they drugged me with a bottle of doped Jim Beeaaaamm,
I was the happiest jobber Heat had ever seen.

A-Train stand up, hand on the brim of his glittery top hat

And as for me, as for me....
I made my mind up back in Smackdown
I just might have to hold Rodney Mack down...

A-Train is surrounded by Big Show, Brock, Nathon Jones, and Matt Morgan, the "Dancing Hosses", who do the can-can as the music picks up

Start by admitting from cradle to tomb,
It's been a long, long staaaaaaayyyy,
Life is a cabaret, old chum,
It's only a cabaret...
Life is a cabaret, old chum,
Come see the caba
I want the caba
I love the CABAREEETTTTTTTT!!!!

Curtain closes

Blarghblugbunbotrincorieow!
Mueiejfbturhjdnbjffhvfughjdfjhrjrghfjghfjghdkfjrh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Runs at opponent on stage*

:shifty:

Oh, that was classic, Santo!

The A-train song

One little two little three little back hairs!
Four little five little six little chest hairs!
Seven little eight little nine little leg hairs!
A-train, the hairy hoss!

"Dude, life is like a game of Hungry, Hungry Hippos.... You see, we're all hippos, and we're like, hungry and stuff..."

(sorry, bad RVD/Kane skit rip off)

RVD: People of Michigan, Here me when I say that weed is the way forward. We can wipe out the pain of athritis, we can clear our minds and souls, just remember the old ancient proverb. Don't drink and drive.........Smoke weed and fly!

A-Train changed his name to Hair-Train.

"Hey kids, RVD says make your Goals Higher, make your knowledge Higher..make yourselves HIGHER....Dude"

"be like R..V..D..Fly with confidence, then you'll have the motivation to order that pizza...Dude"

Whoops, only just saw the last rule. sorry.

"one night only..the Fabulous Albert Train in Shampoo"

El Santo ruled with that. Awesome stuff :lol:

Hair (A-Train remix)


She asks me why...I'm just a hairy guy
I'm hairy noon and night; Hair that's a fright.
I'm hairy high and low,
Don't ask me why; don't know!
It's not for lack of heat
Or all the cruiserweights I eat; darling

Gimme a hoss with hair, long beautiful ha-aaaaaair!
Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there, hair!
Shoulder length, longer (hair!)
Here baby, there mama, Everywhere daddy daddy

Hair! (hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair)
Flow it, Show it;
Long as Vince can push it, My Hair!

Let it fly in the breeze and get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas in my hair
A home for fleas, a hive for bees
A nest for stank; oh, God, it's rank
The beauty, the splendor, the wonder of my

Hair! (hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair)
Flow it, Show it;
Long as Vince can push it, My Hair!

I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy, shining
Gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka-dotted; Twisted, beaded, braided
Powdered, flowered, and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled and spaghettied!

O-oh, Say can you see; my eyes if you can,
Then my hair's too short!
Down to here, down to there,
Down to where, down to there;
It stops by itself!
doo doo doo doo doot-doot doo doo doot

They'll be ga-ga at the go-go
when they see me in my toga
My toga made of nasty, moldy, Biblical-pestillent hair
My hair like King Kong wore it
Hallelujah I adore it
Hallelujah Vinnie pushed his son-in-law
Why don't my Vinnie push me?

500000000000000000000000 points to El Santo, and 4999999999999999999 points to Nowhere man. ;)


The world's worst referee.

(patiently waits for the Montreal reference)

Micheal Cole: There's the cover

Ref. Arthur Pendragon: One...Two...Five...

^ :lol: Nice Monty Python reference!!! :love:

Michaels has Benoit in the Crossface.
Ref: "Okay, Chris, I know you can't talk with your mouth covered by Shawn's fist, but I'm gonna go make a run to the supermarket after the match. If you want some milk, tap once. Cheese, tap two times. Steak, tap three times. Eggs, tap four times. Cilantro..."

http://www.canoe.ca/WrestlingTrishSt...irpull-can.jpg
Ref1: So xy^2 = the radius of a circles whose diameter is 46
Ref2: hmmmm thats a toughy

Ref: You mean he didn't tap? Aww damn it....

http://www.canoe.ca/WrestlingTrishSt...irpull-can.jpg
Ref1: So first day on the job eh?
Ref2: I'm not a ref I'm a convict
:n:

Three, sir...

Right. Three!

*tosses Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch*

*hick accent*
"One! Two! .... aw crap, ma never tot me pass two!"

vBulletin Message
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Corkscrewed again.

vBulletin Message
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Kane Knight again.

:'( It not fair...

Surprised this one hasn't been done yet.

"One! Two! ...two and a half! ...two and three quarters! ...two and five eighths! ..."

I would have if I'd seen this subject sooner

*Benoit has Michaels in the Crossface.*
Ref: He said he didn't want to tap!
*Ref tackles Benoit and puts him in a Crossface of his own.*

Ref: And none of this...

*Ref gouges HBK in the eye*

Or this:

*Kicks HBK in the groin.*

and especially this!

*gives HBK a Piledriver*

5000 points to Vastardikai for that! :lol:


WWE Announcers on Their Days Off

Oh boy, this is going to be fun.

Writer 1: Well, now that the writing session for next week's Raw is over, I've got to go make balloon animals at a birthday party and practice throwing pies. Is my face-paint on right?

Writer 2: Yeah, but your rubber nose is crooked. Hey, you mind giving me a ride home? The short bus broke down today?

Writer 1: Sure, just hop into my tiny car over by the trapeze artist's trailer.

(EDIT: For some odd reason, I thought it said "writers" instead of "announcers." Huh....Guess I need to look closer next time)

Call Girl: Mr. Ross. I'm here from A-1 Escorts. What services did you want today?

JR: SLOBBAKNOCKA!!!

Call Girl: Oh, of course...never heard it called that before but OK...**gets on knees. goes to work**

JR: BAH GA- whoah..watch the teeth there, sweety.

Call Girl: Sorry *back to work**

JR:BAHGAWDSTUNNERBBQSAUCEGUVMENTMULEBAHGAWD!!!!

(Tazz): "I'm a Gary Coleman impersonator. Whatchu talkin' 'bout??"

SCENE: The Stamford Mall. Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, and Tazz are doing some birthday shopping for Mister McMahon.

COLE: So, what do you guys think we should get Vince?
JR: Bah gawd, that sonofabitch. Damn him to hell! DAMN HIM TO HELL!
TAZZ: ...uh, yeah. Do they still have that fireworks store here? You know, "Rocketbusters?"
COLE: I think you just made that up.
TAZZ: But, Joey Numbers said...
COLE: You made Joey Numbers up. He didn't say anything.
KING: PUPPIES!
COLE: Oh, shit, Tazz, why didn't you tell me we were getting close to the pet store?
KING: PUPPIES!
TAZZ: Here comes the pain!
COLE: What?

Cole walks into a crossbeam.

JR: Bah gawd, that metrosexual is LITERALLY BROKEN IN HALF!
KING (sadly): Puppies...
COLE: Wait a minute!
TAZZ: What?
COLE: What if we got him a bird or something. We all know how much he loves high-fliers...

All laugh.

TAZZ: Wolverines can fly, Cole!
COLE: For the last time, no they don't!
JR: Barbecuesaucerattlesnakeunprettierinallmyyearsinthisbusiness!
COLE: That's it!
KING: Puppies?
COLE: No. A rattlesnake.
JR: BAH GAWD IT'S AUSTIN! STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD!

*JR Watching porno*
JR: Ba......bahhh......bah.........bahhh......BAhhhhhhhh........BAHGAWDHE'SBROKENINHALFSTUNNERGOOGODOHMI GHTSTONECOLDTHATSOBBBQSTUNNERSTUNNERSTUnner....stunner

1000 points to PureHatred!


If WWE wrestlers entered other sporting events.

Oh, I can't resist this one.


"And now, the next challenger in our greased pig lassoing contest, from Houston, Texas, he is the ROUND UP RANGER, THEEEEEE UNNNNNNDERTAKERRRRRRRRR!!!!"

"And now appearing as the greased pig.... MAAAAAAAARRRRK HEENNNNNNNNNRRRRRY!!!!"

And now, the starting center for the Detroit Pistons.... KKKEEEEVVVVVIIIIN NAAASSSSHHHH!!!!!!!!

ANNOUNCERS: And the game is underway... There's the tip off..... Wait, looks like we have an injury... I may be jumping to conclusions, but it appears that Kevin Nash has torn his quad....

"Introducing our newest entrant in the world of the competitive ass kicking... ZAAAAACH GOOOOWWWWWWWEENNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!"

**The NFL Draft ended 4 hours ago. Madison Square Garden is completely empty**

Brock Lesnar: Hey??!! Nobody called my name...hey! I'm the next big thing...anybody in here? Hellooooo? Anybody??? Who turned out those lights?

**rolls up in fetal position**

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I can't rep you. :( But that was hilarious!