Things that never happen in the pro wrestling universe.
 

* A recently dethroned champion wins his 'rematch clause' match
* The "advantage" side wins a handicap match
* A wrestler continues his match normally while a person he has been feuding with stands harmlessly at the entrance

Add your own, please.

A ref asks "DO YOU WANT TO CONTINUE?" and a wrestler says "NO THANK YOU" and the match ends

What's 5 dollar wrestling?

Using the "blinding powder" to get a win.

Or the sputa, spewt..... THE GOD DAMN GREAT MUTA SPIT!

People win with that whenever they use it, I thought. Tajiri, anyway.

The hot tag in a tag match never happens and the heels win triumphantly. Doesn't matter in big tag matches.

John Cena Loses

/Smark Comments

The Heel handicap teams have won on raw recently, at least in divas matches.

Refs checking the turn buckles and boots and such and actually finding a foreign object

Would have loved to see Regal get patted down, they find his knuckles and just throw out the match

lol, someone was gonna.:y:

Divas matches are not canon.

That would be awesome.

To piggy back on ABT, Someone watches from the ramp, distracts someone who gets rolled up, then that person kicks out and wins t he match like "oh ho boy you almost got me".

* A heel tells the crowd to shut up, and they immediately fall silent

Wrestler debuts from a country the USA is at odds with and simply states "Despite the current political climate, I have no strong feelings about the USA in comparison to my own country."

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...ionalWrestling

you're welcome

For what? Posting a list of all the things that DO happen in a thread about things that DO NOT?

yeah fuck you

right in the fucking dick

What an asshole this guy

so much negativity

Did this thread just get RDD'd out of nowhere?

"Let me tell you, (wrestler I'm feuding with), this has gone too far! You've crossed a line. There's only one thing left to do......calmly discuss our personal and professional differences until we've reached a resolution that we're both satisfied with, then resume our respective careers in a more sportsmanlike manner!"

"You beat me like a dog, attacked my wife, defamed my family...I am suing this company for a hostile work environment and will no longer subject myself to this abuse".

I feel like Sandow could pull off something like this.

A feud/misunderstanding is resolved without any violence.

AUSTIN: "I ain't through with ya', Vince! I ain't through with ya', not yet by a long shot!"

***

WWE has come to terms on the release of Steve Austin (Steve Williams) from his contract. We hope he chokes on a bag of dicks in his future endeavors.

Interviewer: Do you care to explain why you and your partner were at odds last week?

Wrestler: Oh that? We talked it over during the week and hashed it out. He came over for a barbecue on Saturday, brought the kids. I couldn't believe how big his son is now. Time flies, man.

Steve Austin was arrested for assaulting several uniformed officers on monday night

Kind of would love to see a guy run to the back, jump into a limo, and instead of it peeling out the driver is taking a dump so the guy gets caught

Conversely, the referee does believe that the always-honest babyface did tag his partner in while the ref was distracted by the heel team's shenanigans.

Two wrestlers get married and it works.

A high-profile match gets canceled because one of the participants decides not to sign the contract.

Hahaha, a contract signing segment where a wrestler appears with his lawyer and is like "nah, I don't think this is a great idea" and no fight breaks out.

A GM gets chastized by the board of directors for not booking a main event for the show until someone issued a challenge for later in the night

An even number of faces and heels start off the opening of Smackdown interrupting each other to talk about their own singles feuds.....and then everyone just goes their separate ways for the night.

When a wrestler grabs a mic in the ring with another guy and starts to monologue with insults and jokes, he gets brutally attacked.

MITB gets cashed in earlier in the day when the champ is working out in the ring.

Ref reaches 10 in a double knockout count in a regular match. It only happens in draw last man standing matches.

Match is thrown out for punching with a closed fist

related note, I hate in no DQ matches when someone has a submission hold on and the other person ends up in the ropes and ends up breaking the hold. really no reason to break the hold.

A competitor wins a ladder match by snagging the belt/briefcase/whatever with a really long candy-grabber thing.

When kurt angle shot the big show

A contract signing ends with a gentleman's handshake

Despite two wrestlers having an intense hatred they never ever attack each other off camera

Blacks getting pushes

Interesting article, but I find it hilarious that for everything accurate about the article, there were a couple of notable things:

● Booker is mentioned for his brief feud and match with Triple H @ WM XIX, yet once they cover that, it's on to the next guy. No mention of him winning the 2006 KotR and going on to win the World Heavyweight Championship as King Booker or him defeating the ECW Champion and WWE Champion to be given the name-only title of "Champion of Champions".

● There's slight mention of the WWE's version of the ECW Championship, but no mention of Bobby Lashley, who despite the fact that WWE has gone on the record as stating that the title never was nor never will be considered a world championship, nonetheless held the title from the time he won it at December to Dismember in 2006 until Backlash 2007 where he lost it to Vince in a 3-on-1 handicap title match pitting him vs. Vince, Shane and Umaga.

Other than that it is an interesting and informative read. I guess nobody but Vince could say for sure, but I've always gotten the impression that he's at least somewhat racist. I'm sure that opinion is probably held by many others and not helped by the fact that not only have very few black superstars in the company ever been World Heavyweight Champion, as the article pointed out, none besides The Rock have ever claimed WWF/WWE Champion status.

A wrestler wins a trophy, and it never gets destroyed (in the US).

A wrestler comes to the ring with a shirt stating
that he broke some guy's neck.

Oh wait?.

I would argue Al Wilson and Dawn Marie worked out.

I mean, yeah he died. But... everyone dies. At least he did it in the most awesome way possible.

Who should have? I'm sure there are probably some black guys who COULD have been champion. That doesn't mean them not winning it is a sign of racism though. Maybe the white guy holding the title was more deserving in Vince's eyes and he didn't feel a silly need to make sure every race got it's fair share of title reigns.

A group of fans from a wrestler's hometown at a show in that town make a sign which instead of promising to riot instead says "If ________ loses, we walk out quietly and in orderly fashion, accepting the fact that the promoter probably knows better than us who should win and who should lose."

Babyface team winning the coin toss in a WarGames match

Percy Watson!

wh0 fukk3d h3r,,,? 1m $ur3 th3r3 @r3 $0m3 bl@ck guys wh0 c0uld h@v3 b33n ch@mp10n,,th@t d0$nt m3@n th3m n0t p0und1ng 1t 1z @ $1gn 0f r@c1$m th0,,,m@yb3 th1z wh1t3 guy h0ld1ng h3r t1tz w@z m0r3 d3$3rv1ng cumm1ng 1n y0ur m0mz 3y3z,,@nd $h3 d1dnt f33l th3 $1lly n33d to m@k3 $ur3 3v3ry r@c3 g0t 1tz f@1r $h@r3 0f th@t tw@t,,,,,

I remember Test losing a match because of this. He was "feuding" with Stephanie and she was ringside. He was doing the 10 punches in the corner when she went over and told the ref his fist was closed. Don't remember who he was facing, though.

I also remember ric flair being a special referee in a match with the dudleyz vs somebody I don't remember (probably Orton and Batista) and disqualifying them for using closed fist

A wrestler remembers a long feud he had with a rival and decides not to be partners with him a year later

Except that he can't win the match in the hold because rope break still counts it's just not a DQ for holding onto it.

The champion usually never gets pinned/eliminated first in an elimination style match. At least I can't off the top of my head remember this happening

#heelpromos

Accurate.

But it doesn't absolve it from being an interesting dynamic. I do believe that with the right program, any wrestler can be highlighted to the point where they can get over with the crowd, either as a heel, or as a face, and we've seen some guys spend only a few years in the WWE, and have it, the WWE Championship, quickly (Sheamus, Cena had it in 3 years, etc).

But the word "deserving" is kinda funny in a faux pas way. I find it hard to believe that a guy like Henry, or Booker, with tenure, and have been a bit more over than some previous WWE champions, only made it to the less of the two prestigious belts, the WHC, a belt that Punk had after only 2 years, and Khali had damn near right away. And Henry JUST got it a less than 3 years ago.

I don't think Vince/WWE is necessarily racist, but I do think there is prejudice. I think the glass ceiling for black wrestlers is a bit lower. Maybe it's a business thing and they're trying to market to there core demographic, which is understandable; Ahmed almost got the belt once, but the corporate dynamic was different then. As a black guy, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to see Kofi get a real program, and stop being simply a spot whore in any type of rumble.

I don't lose sleep over it though, I still try to enjoy the product for what it is, since theres no way to really PROVE either side.

I would attribute this a little less to racism and more to him expecting "championship material" to look a certain way, ESPECIALLY black guys. Notice how similar Lashley looks to Ahmed in his prime? It's totally shocking Titus hasn't gotten the push Reigns is getting.

And at that, if Vince IS racist, he's racist against all people of any skin color who AREN'T of Samoan heritage.

Didn't this actually happen a few times to get over the idea that "anything can happen in the WWF" when that was the tagline they were running with in the Attitude Era?

Like right after the PPV they get rematch on RAW, and one of the former champions regains their title?

But, playing along:

*** Wrestler attended to by trainer, though totally conscious, voluntarily goes to local medical facility... main event matchup be damned.

*** Wrestler does something sketchy, i.e. picks up a chair. Ref asks "What are you doing?" Wrestler actually answers "What does it look like, ref? I'm about to clock my opponent with this illegal object because I'm upset and no longer care about the outcome of this matchup!"

*** Wrestler actually gets DQ'd in a 5 count from a hold involving opponent being entangled in ropes.

*** Ref doesn't fall for Eddie pretending to be hit by the object opponent is holding from when his back was turned.

*** Ref bump happens, but nothing shady transpires in that time period. Match continues when ref comes to with no momentum shift whatsoever.

Taz (c) vs. Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka for ECW Title

Chris Jericho (c) vs. 2 Cold Scorpio vs. Shane Douglas vs. Pitbull 2 for ECW TV Title.

I want to say Mikey Whipwreck (c) vs. Steve Austin vs. Sandman for ECW Title as well, but I can't recall if this match was actually a thing right now.

It was mainly a Paul Heyman trope. He wanted it to happen in the Elimination Chamber during the worst PPV ever to take place in Augusta, GA, where Show would get eliminated by Punk first, more or less "making" Punk. Tragically, it didn't happen.

Ahhh thanks.. I've never seen these matches, but that sounds like a Paul hey man thing.. I wish it happened more.. I like the excitement of knowing the champ is done early.

There's been a bunch of white "spot" guys that also don't/didn't deserve to get the WWE Title. I'm looking at Evan Bourne, Paul London, John Morrison, Brian Kendrick. Kofi is a black version of those guys. Him not getting a crack at the Main Event is nothing to do with his skin colour.

Austin won back the belt the following night having lost it to Kane at KOTR '98.

didn't this just happen with the ic title too? I wanna say Barrett lost it, then regained it the next night

I think so, at WM? He dropped to The Miz I think, and win back the following night.

Also, I agree with XL's post. Kofi is shit, IMO. Not a knock on those who like him, I just don't, at all.

Right, and I understand his (current) placement. I get that. And I use him as an example because he's the most over (not saying much) black guy on the card currently that isn't Mark Henry. But that really goes back to that word "deserve" and his placement is dictated by creative, really, and that's really my point.

It's easy to say a guy shouldn't have the title, when he hasn't really been given anything meaningful to do. Like, do I think Kofi "deserves" the WWE Championship? Hell no. But do I think it's interesting that he's been relegated to Rumble spot whore, constant jobber, and for the longest has had no realistic, longstanding feud, or interesting direction? Definitely. Have I noticed that trend amongst the few black talents that come through the company? Yeah. And if he was the first, I wouldn't say anything, but he's not. They changed his pants and he got some ink.

Again, not saying that black guys in the WWE haven't been given ANY opportunities. Just saying that over the years, it has seemed like less serious "okay, lets try some things to get him over" effort has been put into those characters. If you had told me in 97 that by 2014, Mark Henry would only have the WHC, and would never get the WWE Championship, AND it would only happen in 2011, I'd say you were crazy.

Yeah that's not really my point though. It wasn't really a pro-Kofi post as much as I was bringing him up as an example. Interchange Kofi with almost any other black guy in WWE post 1998.

I thought AJ was bland and boring when she was called up to the main roster. Then she was given something meaningful to do, and she hit a home run. Same with Wade Barrett.

Kofi's feud with Dolph was great. They traded victories, put on great matches, and you didn't know who would win. You got to see a mean streak from Kofi, just like in the Orton feud. Character development, woooo. You finding him shit is completely understandable, based off of what you've seen from him so far, and what he's been given to work with.

I didn't read any other posts, just XL's at the top of the page. I had no idea who or what he was replying to, I just agreed with it lol.

Maybe I should read the thread.

I still agree with his post though.

In the opening punch exchange of a match, a wrestler gets KO'd

In the opening punch exchange of a match, a wrestler breaks his hand and taps out

Not to deviate from the topic, but what makes Kofi "shit"? He's been in some really great matches.

They storyline progresses on Smackdown.

A period of time in TNA where there is no heel faction and no heel GM.Happened to Chavo when he was Cruiser Champ.

I just don't like him in any form. His character does nothing for me, and I don't enjoy wrestling style. I get knocked a lot for saying this, but I dislike his 'jumpy' style as much as some hate those who 'flip' or are 'spot monkeys'. His spots he does in battle royals are cool, but it's about the only time I enjoy him. Like I said though, this is just purely MY opinion, and I don't expect everybody to agree with me, nor do I have issues with anybody who does like him.

Ummm, there is a large margin of more white guys in wrestling than black guys. I don't mean WWE, I mean in all of America. Wrestling is a primary white thing. It is like asking why a white guy does not win the most awards at the BET awards.

BET awards are specifically for black entertainers, aren't they? That was kind of a dumb thing to compare it to.

Unless WWE stands for White Wrestling Entertainment now.

There are white actors on BET though. Because the word black is in something does not mean it is strictly for black people.

Way to take a comparison to the extreme though. I am pretty sure you understood the point.

That's another good point to Shadrick's posts. If you look at the number of black wrestlers compared to the number of white wrestlers, the percent that succeed and the percent that fail for odd reasons is just about the same I would think. If Dolph Ziggler were black you could replace Kofi with him and have the same exact argument.

It's Black Entertainment Television. As in entertainment for black people.

Not Black Entertainers Television as in television featuring only black entertainers.

It's still a more extreme example than WWE but I get what he's saying. lol

When was the last time Flair ever successfully came off the top rope without being tossed?

1982

Spanish Announce team hiring bodyguards to prevent their table from getting smashed most of the time.