You know you watch too much wrestling when...
 

You're writing a term paper and you write something along the lines of "The politics of French Guiana involve the Kliq (US, England, and France) holding down economic development underneath the glass ceiling."

Post your own.

1. You make a thread about watching too much wrestling.

2. You actually think WWE is unscripted.

3. Whenever you do something wrong you say "IT WASN'T MY FAULT"

4. You record yourself doing a promo every day.

5. You sell your house just so you could buy extra WWE/ECW/WCW/ TNA/ ROH DVD"S and tickets

I'm sorry if those aren't good I'll come up with some more later

When you watch too much wrestling.

yuou write a 950 word essay for college on why Ric Flair is better than Hulk Hogan.

:shifty:

You watch Smackdown. :shifty:

Naw, just kidding.

You know you watch too much wrestling when you go around your house posing, and sneaking up behind your little brother and locking in the Tazmission.

You seriously consider doing an essay on stereotypes in wrestling.

And Cliche of the Year goes to...

you use wrestling catchphrases in your everyday dialogue

Example: "Lay the Smack down on her Jimmy."

¬ You go around spitting apples in people's faces.

¬ You kneel down on one knee, raise your hand, spring up, and hit an RKO on the person in front of you.

¬ You do the same when you're in line for the bathroom.

¬ When you get fired, you blame it all on your boss' son-in-law.

¬ You become a star on your wrestling team only to quit and go play football, where you will fail and beg to come back to the team with impossibly high demands.

¬ You wear a hat and act 'dead'.

¬ You rap about your enemies in a horrible voice.

¬ You have a Viscera autograph.

¬ You want George Bush to turn face.

¬ You name random body parts.

¬ You break someone's nose to make a first impression.

You write your title history in your job application.

Everytime you see a ladder you have an urge to climb it and jump onto the unsuspecting people below.

You carry a sock in your pants so you can pull it out and use on your enemies.

You research as to what type of apple it is Carlito has cause you wanna be Cool.

The professor asks if there are any questions. You put up your hand and ask one only to interrupt the teacher yelling that IT DOESN'T MATTER!

You attempt to hook up with your boss' daughter cause well... it works for The H.

You turn on your friends for ratings

You spit in the face of people who don't wanna be cool.

You buttrape people then read them Poems.

You complain about some of you colleagues at work being horribly misused

You run a fantasy wrestling league for you and your friends. And you actually came up with the idea for the fantasy wrestling league several years before WWE started running one on WWE.com.

Even better...

¬ You start a fantasy wrestling league based on the WWE and book it better than the real WWE.

When you do your senior memory book for class about 10 things that happened during your senior year......8 of them are about wrestling.... :shifty:

When you were little all your stories you wrote were about you and you friends being teleported to another dimension where you could choose on a screen which wrestling star you wanted to be to win back your girlfriend :shifty:

:love:

when someone wants to shake your hand you pause and look around for crowd reaction

When you go to shake someones hand and you pull the Razor Ramon/Scott Hall hair swipe move.

In 8th grade I had to write a report on my hero and why he was my hero. I chose Chris Jericho. Got and A on my report. I felt kind of like an idiot though because other people wrote about Firefighters, police men, troops and there parents and stuff. What sucks is we had to read them out loud. I got made fun of by quite a few people.

When you act like you're mentally retarded just to get a better "push" at work.

When a coworker fucks up at work, you tell him that he pulled a "Lita."

You can never shower in a locker room because you fear of being molested by JBL.

When you ask someone a question, then tell them IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT... whatever ur question was.

When you do the Christian chest slaps or the Randy orton pose after succeeding in something.

When you have 2 cans of pop and u crash them together before drinking them

If these have been mentioned, my fault....I just skimmed most of them...

1. you find yourself acting 'heelish' around friends and people here and there...then suddenly out of nowhere you decide to turn 'face'..and vice versa
2. you simulate wrestling style promos
3. you put belts over your shoulder
4. you make your own championship title
5. when you get up...you get up 'deadman style'
6. at some point, you've contemplated doing a wrestling move on someone you're sick of....perhaps a jacknife powerbomb..or a stunner followed my beers, scsa music, and middle fingers

:lol:

the hottest girl at school tells you she wants to fuck you....and you say no because you'll miss Raw

Wow. I think we have our winner for best one. hahahaha

Back in 8th grade my cousin and I went to the same school. It was april fools day and we were walking and he gave me this candy that turns your mouth blue. When he told me what it did and I realized it instead of punching him in the face I kicked him in the stomach and powerbombed him......

Does that count?

For prom you order a limo with horns on the front

You call security guards, "Problem Solvers"

haha classic

7. when you get into an arguement with someone, you say, "screw you! I'm the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be!"

If you hear the bell at an end of a Taco Bell commercial and immediately look around for an urn to bow to.

I'd say no, but thats cause i might get arrested for fucking a school girl (depends on the age i spose)

Your girlfriend talks about doing it doggy style, and your response is "Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls..."

Your teacher gives you detention, and you drop them, get on your hands and knees to mouth off, and then open up a couple beers.

You have watched so much wrestling that all sense of reality is gone. You think you can assault people and sexually harass women and be liked for it.

When describing people all you can say is "he/she kinda looked like (wrestler name here)"

After getting a good mark you get up, start "WHOO"ing, strutting, and dancing and announce that there's a party at your place and Space Mountain will be open.

You buy Bradshaw's book on financial advice. :shifty:

:love:

I have just thought of some more

1. You watch a Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox game secretly hoping that the Red Sox turn heel

2. You miss your High School Graduation/wedding because Smackdown was on.

3. When your girlfriend says she wants too make out with you under fireworks and you take her to a wrestling show.

4. When the wedding comes for the I Do's instead of saying I Do You say "Oh hell yeah"

5. You have written numerous hate mails to the World Wildlife Fund saying "Fuck Pandas"

6. You carry a knife with you for an occasional blade job.

7. You get a splinter in your finger and sell it like it was murder.

It'd be more appropriate if it was OOOOOOOOOH YEEEEAHHHHH

A friend playfully slaps you on the back. You fall face forward and sell it like a maniac. You then blade yourself.

You scream "STUNNER BAHGAWD" whenever you see a fight break out.

When you have a Cd in your car of all your favorite wrestling them songs.

*raises hand* Guilty

For the ROH marks of the board: When you are listening to CM Punk's theme song on that very CD, you bang on your steering wheel.

raises hand again* Guilty

BRILLIANT!!! :y:

You give your boss a Stone Cold Stunner and think that you won't get fired

You go around commentating your life and what is going on around you. You refer to each day as "the greatest day in life entertainment history".

Addendum: You start reffering to yourself in the third person.

The Knigtht thinks this is moronic, and he does not approve of it.

1.when u get a promotion at work after u shake your boss' hand u give him a low blow and tell him u dont sell out
2. When your friend tells you about getting some and u suddenly interrupt and scream what about me huh what about (insert name here) u ddt them to a crucifix pose over them and torment them until either a) u get his girl b) or your friend gets a restraining order

when you get into a fist fight and you spraipant NWO on your opponent's back

You get passed over for promotion and blame Triple H.

I got one on this also.....

I missed my senior prom to go to a indy fed promotion. I took a sign that said "I skipped Prom for TASW".

*Raises hand*

I've pulled up to a building I was going to one time blasting JBL's theme on my car stereo.

You post on TPWW.

At least it wasn't Eugene's theme.

...You've ever tried to use a conchairto...

-you walk by someone and start talking trash ala Stone Cold

-you still raise the eyebrow on certain occasions

-you start a "you fucked up" chant when someone falls down in the cafeteria

-you throw a cheap pop in during a regular conversation

-you take out your higher ups at work and call yourself the Legend Killer

-when you get out of the shower, you put the towel on your head, cross your arms, and stare into the mirror

-when someone is sitting in a folding chair, you start yelling "OLE" and kick him in the face

you ask yourself WWKFAD?

What Would Kurt Freakin Angle Do?

I got another one that I just rememered.....

You know you watch to much wrestling when....

You and your best friend wrestle with your other friends all the time and have certain gear that you made by marking on T-Shirts calling your selves the New Age Outlaws and basically doing everything they do.....and yes I say this from experience...

Back in Science Class in like the 7th or 8th grade there was this kid that the whole class hated. Sorta a bully type thing so when we got back from lunch my friend kicked him in the stomach picked him up for a piledriver and I jumped down spiking him to the ground......

You're on a ladder re-arranging the school marquee board when you feel an inexplicable ugre to do a corkscrew moonsault onto your friend who's telling you if the letters are straight or not.

You brag about being "thrown for a loop." :shifty:

You find it perfectly okay to break a fellow employee's arm and not get punished.

Before trying out for the school wrestling team, you go out and break your neck.

You think wearing tights and streamers is cool.

You turn on a wrestlers theme music very loud in the living room and you enter from the hall way like its the entrance ramp and pose.... :shifty:

You walk around your neighbourhood, school, mall, etc, with a megaphone, a fake gold medal, and a huge bristal board, hanging from around your neck, promoting abstinence.

"The Best Sex is No Sex."

If you re-enact the HHH/Kane-Katy Vick Sex Scene with a real dead body.......

God I hope no one on here confesses to that one

You drop a glass bottle, or you hear glass breaking, and you start humming Stone Cold's Entrance theme

then I guess to follow up with the Austin one....

You hear screeching tires and you start humming Foleys music.

I did basically the same thing, except the I was in 3rd grade, the other kid was in 6th. He made the mistake of trying to tell me wrestling was fake, I sent that bitch home crying. :cool:

-edit- for clarification, it was a straight pile driver, not a a spike one.

You knife edge chop yourself to see how much it hurts. :shifty:

Not that I would know. :shifty:

Your girlfriends laid out spread legged on the bed and all you can think of is grabbing her by the knees and flipping her over for a Boston Crab...











... dam, no wonder she dumped me.

When everytime you think back on your past girlfriends you think of them as the ...your last name/her last name era

One lonely person :D

/sarcasm

When you see anyone or if one of your mates is called Earl, then you haras (sp?) him all day, reminding him that "You screwed Bret"

This actually happened one day at school a few years ago. Some one went up to a guy called Earl (who he didn't like ) and shouted "You screwed Bret" and then his mate went something like "Ring the bell - ding ding ding"

The Earl guy then said "Shut up man, you think I'm gay or something. Who the fuck is Bret. And its not even lunch time so why ring the bell" :rofl:

Didn't have a clue it was about wrestling

:shifty:

Everytime you see someone on a ladder, you have a sudden urge to dropkick the ladder.

Everytime someone is bent over, you have an urge to do the Canadian Destroyer to him.

You walk around with a custom belt with a spinning center plate.

You refuse to taqke off your mask for your school picture.

Oddly enough, my friend in high school did this while we were in the cafeteria and someone dropped glass and he just busted out with the Stone Cold theme and I just died laughing.

You know when you watch too much wrestling when ...

Anytime someone sets off fireworks, you can't help but do the HBK or RKO pose in front of it.

When you're talking to someone and you can't hear them, you do that one Hogan pose to hear them and continually do it all four corners.

You throw a chair at a friend's face and yell "That was EXTREEEMMMEE!!" ... and then the chair gets thrown right back at you, for being an idiot.

Everytime someone pisses you off, you scream D-VON! GET THE TABLES!!!!

You bury yourself alive after taping a promo ''the dead will return... march 14th''

Everytime you see a donkey, you go in front of it and start screaming WOOO! WOO! WOOO! WOOOO!

When you see someone fall of a ladder, you scream THEY LEARN TO FALL? HOW DO YOU LEARN TO FALL OFF A 20-FOOT LADDER! BAHGAWD! SLOBBERKNOCKER!

When talking to a friend, you say 'what?' after every sentence they say.

You refer to yourself as one of the "Creatures of the Night"

At your work, you beat down the employee in training to teach them 'respect' *COUGHbobhollyCOUGH*

You legally change your name to 'Warrior'

When asked a question in class, you give your answer followed by "Oh it's true. It's true"

When you go into a chat room, the first thing you say is "Helllooooo Ladies"

When a girl starts giving you the eye you begin dancing like HBK while singing his entrance music.

something else I have to confess towards.....

If you have ever had a picture of you doing a wrestling pose in a calender or yearbook.

In my 8th grade yearbook and the Calender that came out the next year for our school there is a picture of my PE is class which only had like 15 people in it. Im in the front row and you can see me giving the DX chop....great pic ever.

When everyone at school saw it I got phone calls like crazy.

:lol: Yesterday I was walking home from work, and I always stop in to the House of Pizza next door to get a drink. And I was walking out the door and I slipped and fell. Two guys behind the counter who work there and a lady sitting down eating pizza started a "You Fucked Up" chant. Now I know the shame that the wrestlers feel.


-At a soccer game, when a player gets a penalty, you start a "YOU SCREWED (Insert Name)" chant at the ref.

-You call out someone in a fight and name the stipulations. (No interference. No foreign objects.)

-When you get an F or get in trouble in class you stand up and yell "MY NAME IS ____ AND I DO NOT DESERVE THIS"

-When you see someone climb something you have the urge to throw them off.

-You don't tell your employees that you have to let them go...you snarl at them and say YOUUUUUUURRRRRR FIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRREEEEEEDDDDDDDD

You ever actually tried to find one of Venis' porn flicks :shifty:

After watching decades of the underdog trouncing the big guy, you actually think TNA has a chance.

Better yet KK, you think Ring of Honor can over take WWE.

You won't go anywhere unless You're preceeded by your theme song (I used to carry portable speakers in my bag)

You've ever participated in a BFIARF (Best finisher in a real fight) thread or any variant of it.

You've actually tried the People's Elbow in a real fight...

...And expected the other guy to lay there on the ground...

...And were surprised that it didn't hurt him much.

SHUT YOUR MOUTH! ROH WILL DOMINATE!

When someone asks you why you did something, you reply "I did it... for the Rock..."

When going for an ultrasound, you fear the doctor will say "Congratulations... It's a hand..."

when you're walking on campus and see a guy with crutches and imagine that you steal his crutch and whack him right in his bad leg with it and then breakthe crutch in half when he's down.

Never did that :shifty:

You can go to hell sir. You can go to hell and you can just die.

*smacks PorkSoda with a rolled up newspaper*

You hire a bodyguard named Diesel to protect you from bullies.

If you start walking, think of Theodore Long. Your arm will start to reach around your back.

If you've been disqualified/ejected from ANY game/sport for introducing a foreign object (Chair, kendo stick). Bonus points if you've ever done a weapon finisher in such an event (3-D through a table at a Basketball game, Con-Chair-To in a boxing match, etc.)

You watch the Olympics and you think, "Meh. The Rock could take 'em."

If you have ever seen someone's belt on a table and pick it up to hit them with it.

If you have ever been disappointed whenever your company bought another one and didn't use it to its full attention.

If you have ever been a 16 time employee of the month, and end up kissing the 10 time employee of the month's ass so you can keep your own parking space... :nono:

If you have ever marked out at school when someone comes back from being sick.

If you have ever said "Damn it Paul..." whenever you get a paycheck that bounces.

If you have ever thought Jeff Jarrett will actually drop the NWA World Title.

Naw, I'm going to wait and do that when I help my friend volunteer at the Special Olympics in a few months. I'm going to bring my stereo and when they do the relays, I'm going to blast Eugene's theme while the people are running. :shifty:

That's mean. Then again, I plan on going to Gitmo and offering the starving muslims Pork Rinds.

and I thought I was going to burn in hell... :lol:

You mean they can't :shifty:

You are fucking hilarious...


ROH taking over WWE

hah hah hHAAHH HAH Hh hahhah ha hah hah hahahah hah hah ha hah hah ha hah hah hah hah ha hah hah hah ah






:shifty: