101 things Vince McMahon would never say...
 

"Have the cruiserweights go for a 30 minute draw tonight"

"Sorry, we have enough 6 foot 6 men on the roster already"

"I'm sorry Brett, it was my fault"

"That AJ Styles sure is something"

"I've told you a million times JR, we can't just end an angle without explaining it properly"

"Hi Matt, it's Vince, we owe you an apology..."

"Maybe we shouldn't have a Hell in a Cell this year"

"From now on, I'm going to stop wearing shirts that are two sizes too small"

That's only 8 :(

Lol. Sorry mate. Maybe you can add some more if you can. ;) That was the notion of the thread really.

''who cares if they hate cena'' (reffering to the sign incident(read open letter to Vince))

"Try keep it under five minutes tonight Hunter"

"WCW was, for a time, viable competition...and at times, produced a superior in-ring product to WWE."

"The Brock Lesnar experiment was a mistake."

"I'm sorry, Hunter, but I'm going to have to let you go."

"What the hell can we do with ANOTHER seven foot wrestler!?"

"Okay Paul, I'm giving you full creative control over ECW."

"Everyone, welcome Paul Heyman back to the team. He's going to get us out of the fifty foot hole that I dug."

"DX was just a cheap rip off of the nWo..."

"Hey Chris, how would you like a title run?"

"Hey Rob, how would you like a title run?"

"Hey (insert deserving name here), how would you like a title run?"

"I really like Jeff Jarrett..."

"Hunter, you're wrong."

wow hunter that promo really was boring

hey steph guess what.......Shane is taking over the company when i retire

wow those smarks sure know what their talking about, we should use some of their storylines.

Lets push our lower talent

I think the cruiserweights should be the main parts of our show

Welcome to the family paul, just tell us what to do

"Chris Jericho really does get over with the fans, and has mic-skill, wrestling ability and charisma to go with it - let's put him in the Main Event scene"

"Hardcore Holly: YOUUUUUUUU'RE FIRED!"

"Here Hunter, take some steroids...:shifty:"

"I think I might leave HHH out of the title scene for a while"

"We really need to give more time to the cruiserweights"

"This Diva-Search thing really sucks"

"No" (to HHH).

"No Hunter, not tonight."

" Shane, I have faith you will lead the WWE to a new level of success not yet seen. I love you son. "

"Triple H likes working Tuesdays."

"Okay Hunter, you're working Tuesdays now."

''people hate this Cena guy''

"Not all big men are that great"

"I'm tired of all these high ratings, lets just put Hunter on Heat and watch RAW's ratings fall..."

"I think I'm gonna start putting effort into SmackDown now."

"I'm not the genetic jackhammer that I claim to be..."

"I used to be a woman..."

:shifty:

"That TPWW place sure is cool."

"HAHAHAHA! YOU FUCKED CHYNA!! BWAHAHAHAHA!"

"We copied ECW and WCW."

"Sure RVD, you can do whatever you like in the ring tonight"

"Just because he's big, doesn't necessarily mean he's good"

"Hey Trips, that moustache of yours looks really stupid"

He already said it.
------------
Hunter winning the title 22 times is enough.

"LINDA! stick my balls in the toaster!"

"gfhdfjgfybiuihnjmngm"

"What the hell is that green spot on the carpet"

"To delete this message, check the appropriate option below and then click the 'Delete this Message' button."

"Smackdown got 5.0 rating"

Hunter, you're being cut back to OVW while we tune up your mic skills.

"What was I smoking when I hired YOU?"

"Hey Christian. The fans seem to like you, so you'll be getting a main event push"

"Hey Cena, can you cut down the homosexual and poopy jokes?"

"Hey, that Hassan guy is right!"

"austin you can't say sand people"

"YOURRRRRRRRRRR HIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!"

"Hunter, I'm sorry, but I'm not leaving the company to you and Stephanie. Not you, either, Shane. Meet my new partner, who now owns all three of your shares... Paul Heyman!"

"Cena, I'm given you an open mic. Say whatever you want."

"RVD, you are free to compete to the best of your abilities and you will receive mic time."

"Maybe I should bring Matt back. That was unfair of me."

"Christian's getting one of the biggest pops on Raw. Let's push him."

"Maybe the internet isn't to blame for these ratings. Maybe we should make the show entertaining on a weekly basis."

"I'm hiring Kane Knight, Superslim and Triple A for my new look writing team." :D

"Where's my welfare check."

JEsus, what the fuck would THAT look like?

"I think Kane should turn heel."

"OMG. You are unfunny. Shut up."

"Stephanie, Hunter is not good enough for you. He's manipulative, callous and self-obsessed - so I've found you a new man....


...you can come in now Shannon"

"What Owen Hart just died in the ring? Well just get his ass out for the ring and continue the PPV..."

Oh wait he did basically say that.

:nono:

"We need to quit hiring pointless bimbos and get more women who can wrestle."
"Steven Richards has a cult following, let's put a belt on him."
"We need to cut Triple H out of this segment."
"Involving my kids in this storyline? That'd be stupid."
"I should get some input from Paul and Eric."
"Christian vs Benoit for the gold would be much better than Batista vs Snitzky."
"I disagree, Hunter."
"I say we cut our losses. Big show, You're fired."
"Stuttering gimmicks never work."
"JBL Sucks"

I don't know if he could have said "go home its over!" and refund everyones money....well I guess he could

"Let's have a cruserweight match on Smackdown that doesn't get interrupted"

"Welcome back to the WWE Jeff Jarrett"

"What? There's no way I'm doing another angle where I have an affiar and get to grope a smoking hot Diva who's a third my age!!"

Benoit, I'd like you to shoot with Hunter tonight.
Maybe I should listen to the fans more often.
No, Hogan, you cannot have another last match!
Where do you come up with this stuff Paul? It's awesome!
New Jack, I'd like you to shoot with Hunter tonight.

"Maybe I did screw Bret."

"I actually have to DO something to break wrestling out of this downward cycle!"

"Maybe I should have spent some money to get some bigger WCW stars for the Invasion angle"

"Maybe I should have let WCW win a few rounds in the Invasion angle"

"Maybe having my daughter be the spotlight of the Invasion angle wasn't the best thing for this company."

....just using the Invasion angle is enough for 101.

"I don't think Goldberg should wear a wig"

"No Mark you can't have 6 months off"

or

"Mark your gonna job at Mania"

"I don't think Linda should be in this segment with Austin"

"The XFL was a big mistake"

"WWE movies will flop"

How about:

"Hunter, you may already know that Smackdown's in trouble. They're moving to Friday night, and that's going to be a nightmare for ratings. We NEED those advertisers. I know you're the only draw in this company, so I know that your fans will follow you over. You're going to be the next draft pick."

"I don't think the fans buy JBL as a credible World Champion. Better put it back on Eddie."
-After Great American Bash 2004

"Chris Benoit ought to be the focus of the show. He is the World Heavyweight Champion. I think I'll turn HBK heel and put them in a feud together."
-After Backlash 2004

"Oh my god... Rob Van Dam is the most over man in the company! I need to do something about this!"
-Invasion 2002

"Hunter, that was the worst promo I've ever heard. Work on it."
-After any RAW

"Rey/RVD/Jericho/Paul London I want you to go out there tonight and pull out all the stops."

"You will never be on WWE TV again. Ever."
-To Stephanie after one of her annoying promos

Vince: "Please, please, please, please, please come back to full time!"
Rock: Stop touching me.

"Chris Jericho deserved a better Undisputed Title run".

"Hunter, you've done it 10 times. Let someone else be champion for a while."

"Wow, it's not his character. These people HATE Edge. Maybe teaming him with Lita was a mistake".

"I was wrong"

"Hunter will you PLEASE shave that ridiculous moustache"

"No we won't be making any more HHH DVD's"

"You're too big"

"Pandas Rule!"

"I can't believe it, but poop and gay jokes just aren't funny to me anymore."

"Bob, I'd appreciate it if you stopped stiffing people in the ring. Beating the shit out of the help is bad for business."

"And pass this along to Bradshaw."

"I cry myself to sleep every night because I know that if I stand up to Hunter he'd beat me... Then fire me."

:lol: @ last 4 posts.

"You know Hunter, maybe Jericho should make you tap out tonight"

John, for assaulting Blue Meanie at ONS and bullying younger workers, not to mention breaking the law in another country and alienating a section of our audience, you're fired!

''Let's give the fans what they want.''

''Maybe we should keep Triple H out of the main event for a while''

''Triple H, YOOOUUURREE FIIIRRREEEEDD!!!!''

"Maybe I shouldn't run this entire <s>forum</s> show based on what I enjoy. It appears the masses aren't that pleased."

*Vince sees Carlitos Cabana*



''Mabye more Superstars should spit fruit at each other''


Hold on this is things he wouldn't say lol
























Just you wait, Just you wait 'till we see Big Vis spit a watermelon at someone

"Trust me, John, mooning the world on Raw is will equal ratings. As will you raping JR in the final segment."

"Those guys on the internet are on to something..."

"No Brock, leave the internet alone."

I was wrong to sue Marvel.

waht?

WWE sued Marvel. They claimed that their agreement with Marvel over the rights to "Hulk" Hogan was not up.

Oh, thanks. :y:

"I have enough sandwiches for everyone in my vagina"

Don't.Get.It.

"Lance Storm is God."

Do you ever picture Vince saying it?

this thread confuses me because:

a) i thought most of it was referenced shiz
b) vince mcmahon is the subject
c) im cold

"Sting is the greatest wrestler on WWE"

"WWF"

"Hey Bischoff, I'm giving you absolute creative control"

"Maybe we should hire real writers instead of blow up dolls."

"I'M VINCE MCMAHON DARN IT!"

"I really respect the fans for putting up with this shit."

"Flair, I'm going to make you the World Heavyweight Champion."
"Big Show you really need to lose weight."
"Edge, Lita you're fired because the fans feel you screwed Matt f'n Hardy!"

vince hate hhh for bend a jackass belt hog

'I think we should make this company more entertaining by adding more cruiserweights.'

LOL

I would never put myself in a storyline with a handicapped kid

i kill wcw for good by send other people like vince russc

lol two jobber posts back to back, mine and den's

Vince: Oh Shannon, oh Shannon, Oh GOD SHANNON!!!! Alright, you earned YOUR title shot!
Shannon Moore: Yes!
Vince: You and Kidman for the CW title!
Shannon Moore: YES! YOU DON'T THINK I'M A GIRL!!!
Vince: Hell, all back doors look the same.

Thank sammy G
 

" Lets not have a hell in a cell match this year featuring HHH"

"Were not having a title match featuring HHH this year"

"I want logical storylines from now on"

"Were going to make the titles mean something"

"I care about smackdown"

(i havent read page 2, only 1 and 3 so sorry if any of these have been thought of on page 2)

Jesus God Almighty kid. LEARN TO USE THE LANGUAGE YOU SPEAK!

Grammar is the whole F'n Show. Using your language properly is hardcore.

:foc:

WHAT? :wtf:

Lol. Sounds like something the Sandman would say if he was lecturing kids on how to use correct grammar and pronounciation...

Vince: God damn, TNA's really kicking our asses in the ratings.

Vince: Ok..I'm moving this Shannon Moore guy over to RAW and Batista will drop the title to him.

Vince : "I am fully aware of who this Shannon Moore person is"

Vince: Shannon Moore is a guy.

"That RVD promo from One Night Stand really brought the house down. I could spin a phenomenal gimmick out of this when he comes back!"

"You know, that spinny belt is lame."

"No, Adam, I promise. I definitely had an end in mind when I started your 'Money In The Bank' angle. Here's what I'm thinking..."

"Of course they'll realize that Carlito's stuttering 'help' is the same guy that Paul Heyman brought in for his Survivor Series team a couple of years ago! The fans aren't stupid!"

"No. That's racist"