Raw thread 9-12-05 (Pretend its 1995)
 

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General Manager Eric Bischoff has signed a huge Handicap Match for Monday Night RAW on Sept. 12. It will be WWE Champion John Cena taking on both Kurt Angle and Tyson Tomko. Cena has overcome many odds since becoming WWE Champion, but can he really turn back both Angle and Tomko? Watch RAW to find out.

It has just been learned that "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair will take on Chris Masters tonight in one-on-one action. Several weeks ago on RAW, Masters forced an already beaten and battered Flair to succumb to the Master Lock. Will Masters have the same success tonight?
Also, Edge will have the tall order of battling Big Show in Edge's first match since a frightening Side Effect off the RAW stage injured his neck.
Also, Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch made a stunning debut upsetting the World Tag Team Champions, Rosey and The Hurricane. How will they top their first appearance on RAW?

By jobbing to someone else.

Im looking forward to Cade & Murdoch.

This Raw will suck loads of semen.

Keep'n it positive. :D

1995? Pssh, I wish. But like I said, if the show is ok in the first half hour or I just complain too much, I'm gone for tonight. I don't know if I can stay positive for some of the so-called "entertainment" WWE gives us sometimes.

Ok. It will positivley suck. How bout that?

this thread will be very empty if we will have to remain positive.


This is like trying to come up with postive things about dogshit

well, here we go another Raw thread.

Yo it's me, it's me, it's.........Morgan.

Where is everyone?

WHAT THE FUCK

What kind of shitty raw is this? I haven't even watched yet but fucking creative team.

OMG TRIPLE H YOU ASSHOLE STOP HOLDING CHRISTIAN DOWN. WAIT HE'S ON SMACKDOWN. I DON'T CARE THO TIPLE HE DIE.

and Lita, plz stop botching and matt hardy kill lita k/ thx

BAW GAHD JR STOP MESSING UP OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMOGMOGMG

this raw sucks *doesn't change channel* this raw is a piece of crap *eyes are glued to screen* i have to wake up at 6am and i am still watching this shittttttttt

:roll:

I get it. We're pretending it's 1995, so we're pretending there's no internet.

The card for tonight looks weak as hell. I doubt I'll be able to post in this thread and make like it was 1995. I'll be watching but I'm not gonna post here because I am not going to be able to stay positive.

HOLY SHIT! IT'S THE BIG SHOW! 1995 RULES! :drool:

.....so I guess both Matt Hardy and Snitsky shall run in during this match?

I'LL GET THE JAWS,THE JAWS,AND YOU GET A MONKEY,YEAH,COME ON,COME ON,COME ON, LET'S GET IT ON!!!!.

Whatever the lyrics are.

good opening matchup.

I really love Lita's new boobs. But then again...who doesn't like new boobs?

I hope we see something worth while tonight..

AHAHAHA!

I loved that look Show gave Edge before lifting him up and splitting his balls.

Here comes Matt Hardy

POMG THEYIRE BURYING HARDY!!!

Someone really needs to draw up a diagram of the Big Show illustrating this guys weird anatomy. Frying pan sized hands, typewriter head.

A TAG MATCH?! WHOOOOAA, these 4 guys are gonna fight at the PPV so this is gonna be something! WOW! I did not expect this in 1995!

I heart rasslin'.

And here comes the impromptu tag match.

my sheep

"Verticality." Goddamnit JR learn English.

Uhmmm, too bad "verticality" is an actual word.

Am I the only one that is sick of the Hardy chants and the ridiculous pops he's getting?

Gene Snitsky's scary back acne (backne! ha!) makes me a sad, sad boy.

Why when JR botching English is more entertaining?

Also...COMMERCIAL BREAK DURING A MATCH! DRINK!

Probably, I prefer it alot more over the dead silence.

Lita is so fucking hot.

Man, after all that action, I do need a nice break to drink. Great show so far and I am positive about that.

:y: ;)

It does looks like he's growing alien pods there.

Those are alien pods.

Also....oh look, we came back from commercial and the face is in trouble...DRINK!

....did Big Show hit a wrestling move on Snitsky?

:rofl: If Shadow's drinking to wrestling cliches, he's gonna be drunk within the hour.

Lita did such a good job of getting away.

Manager/valet trying to avoid harm by retreating into the ring. DRINK!

Yay....Matt's going over on Sunday.

That was a pretty sloppy match overall, especially for the guys involved. Big Show's "punt" was the highlight of it. :-\

Yeah, gore hadn't even been born yet.

I would mark the fuck out if Kane's pyro went off.

OMG LITA USED MATT'S OWN MOVE AGAINST HIM!!!1!!!11!!

DRINK!

This crowd is shit, they should be blacklisted.

OMFSBG, Tomko and Masters have matches??? OH, HOW A SWEET SHOW THIS WILL BE TONIGHT! :drool: :drool: :drool:

All we need is a diva segment and we are in heaven. Thank god for '95! **drinks another MadWeiser**

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS


about time the rock is back.


The peoples champ may be able to make raw better. And conway is in the ring. He might get a rub off this

HBK

WTF... that announcer guy's still employed?

Todd Grisham doesn't know it yet, but HBK plans to crucify him, why else bring him out onstage?

That Masters is a monster! Even HBK couldn't break the masterlock!!! OMG!!!

HBK to the rescue!

HBK's mom is 6'4" 270 lbs!!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

.............Wait a second here...why are they out on stage rather than in the back....I'm confused.

Also I'm wondering if Shawn's being sarcastic or not cause I can never tell.

Michaels is doing good.

He shoulda said 'Wassup widdat??"

That RAW background is trippy!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Fuck the positivity crap for a minute, but I still want the Todd bastard to disappear from my TV. What a damn unfunny, stale douchebag he is. UGGH!

But HBK is on TV and he is the best that 95 can give us. SUCK IT!

looks like Todd is getting ready to grope HBK from behind. :lol:

LMAO... and as I post that, HBK goes "Get it up here, boy!"

:rofl:

Man, this crowd really IS crap.

Ok...who gave Grandpa a mic?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! This can only get better. Flair! :lol: :love:

The ghost of Ric Flair visits Shawn to teach him the real meaning of Christmas.

HBK said Masters was 22

Flair said he's 24.

Dude... that's like a combined 159 years on stage right now.

103 from Flair.

Woo dance!

Flair's old. Forgive him.

:rofl:

Well that was entertaining.

And what's this about the Rock coming back?

Alright, time to make dinner. I've had my fun. Cyas! :wave:

LMAO @ Flair and HBK

LOL Flair sounds like a damn insane bird! Those two are like bingo buddies, dancing around and stuff.

I can't wait for the Champ! Now THAT is a real champ right there. Not stale at all. THECHAMPISHURRR!

Flair needs to shut his fucking hole. Enough with the whoo's he is over-using them now.

Oh yeah, and he sucks.

Kerwin sucks, and yes I was like this back in 1995.

Man, Kerwins fucking awesome. I never liked Chavo, but Kerwin is fucking awesome.

..............

O...My...Shadow. My life.....WHAT THE HELL IS ON MY TV RIGHT NOW!?

:lol: I hadn't heard his new music yet.

If we're pretending this is 1995, can I pretend that Chavo's Val Venis?

Now.. Shelton better win this one or else, to Heat he shall forever go.

If it ain't Chavo, it ain't right.

OMG Kerwin sucks.

Middle-class America doesn't golf.

rofl @ kerwin

Seems Coach was reminded that he's always a heel, so he's supposed to be happy that Chavo decided he's no longer a minority. Yay?

OMG! Kerwin vs. Shelton...AT UNFORGIVEN!

DRINK!

KURT FREAKIN' ANGLE!! :heart:

This man needs to win that belt now. 1995 needs a champion like Angle.

"My name is Kurt Angle, I'm an olympic gold medalist, and a four-time WWE champion. But even I suffer from haemorrhoids, that's why I use Haemotop.

Gods I want to see Trish back....the current RAW divas are just....sad.

Unforgiven is going to suck like a hooker on a saturady night.

And...

Coach hasn't been black in years.

OMG, I glanced at the TV and saw King sprawing that BOD spray on himself and almost puked.

Jesus Christ, the least subtle product placement you could ask for.