The ECW December To Dismember Thread
 

Well, we lucky Brits are getting it free, which is lucky because after the atrocious Survivor Series, I would never have paid for it.

Anyway only two matches have been announced. I'll provide results for those who are interested.

At least those two matches are quite promising, anyway.

Let's hope for the best. First PPV I haven't ordered since sometime in 2004ish

Well, we open with the backstory to tonight's main event, The Extreme Elimination Chamber. Big Show vs Test vs Sabu vs RVD vs CM Punk vs Lashley.

They have a big, elaborate WWE-style stage. This really is WWECW.

Joey Styles and Tazz on commentary.

Wouldn't it be horrible if one of the WWE's heavy cage structures were to fall from the ceiling one day? Hope they use heavy duty equipment for that shit.

ECW has SPANISH ANNOUNCERS now??

We're kicking off with MNM vs The Hardyz.

I call a Joey Mercury turn in this match.

Will probably download it as I've forgotten to set it up on my Sky+ (TiVo), and can't be bothered to tear myself away from the Cricket to go set it up.

Stevie Richards beat Rene Dupree in a dark match according to Observer.

Just scroll over to Sky Sports 3 and press the R button, you don't even have to change the channel.

LOL, match one of two starting it out.

It doesn't bode well that the two teams in the opening match (one of the only announced matches at that) get virtually no reaction from the crowd.

Imagine the crowd reactions when the likes of FBI and Balls Mahoney arrive later.

And what a way to kick off ECW's first non-reunion PPV under the WWE banner! Raw's Jeff Hardy and SmackDown's Matt Hardy vs Raw's Johnny Nitro and SmackDown's Joey Mercury.

Hmmm.

Does the building look full?

Not enough room on the living room one, and I can't be arsed to go up and set it up on the bedroom one. Mainly as it would mean waking up my 2 year old daughter. Still, will read you guys' commentry up until Elimination Chamber....

Even though I'm not a fan of their rehashed angle, it would be sweet for VKM (formerly New Age Outlaws) to come out of the crowd and interfere in this match in some way.

I mean, I know it would have to be a shoot if they did that, and it won't happen, but at least it would stir things up a little.

Now THAT'S extreme.

Well the hard camera side does, but then it's quite a small building anyway. Smaller than your average Raw/SmackDown venue, methinks, plus the stage is HUGE.

You think this makes Paul Heyman proud?

Random observation: Johnny Nitro could be the next generation Shawn Michaels, if he can work on his intangibles.

Make a supergiganto stage to block off half the arena.

Yikes. I thought this was on in a few weeks.

I'm on about a 2min delay now (live pause ya see) so apologies for delay for anyone who may be following this thread for updates.

This match could have been a classic, but it's been pretty lacklustre so far in my opinion.

Crowd's been getting more into it though.

"She's a crack-whore" chants towards Melina! Guess Lita won't be missed that much after all.

WWE steered this ECW PPV away from the traditional ECW areas because of concerns about the crowd reactions. I just hope that this crowd takes it upon themselves to channel the spirit of the ECW Arena or the Hammerstein Ballroom, and start letting rip with the vulgar/creative chants anyway.

I saw a picture. This arena looks Bound for Glory little. Hey, TNA sold more tickets for BFG than WWE did for D2D. That's somewhat enbarrassing.

Hardyz win with a double swanton bomb by Jeff onto both MNM members. Nearly 30 mins in length! Had to expect that on a 2 match card!!

Picked up steam at the end, not too bad overall.

They're showing an ECW.com Exclusive interview with RVD. Hardly "exclusive" then, is it??

Matt Striker comes out next, and he is up against Balls Mahoney.

I just switched over from the pain of watching England play Cricket to see a man walking down to the ring wearing a pink jumper. Perhaps I won't bother downloading it after all.

Wow, when was the last time WWE had a 30 minute match?

And this match won't be Extreme Rules, but rather Extreme Enforcement Of Rules. No gouging, hair pulling, top rope moves (what, from Balls??) or foul language... apparently.

Hopefully this will be quick. Not painless, but at least quick.

Matt Striker has a photo of his face on the ass of his tights. Why?

Matt Striker is the amazing, that's why.

Matt Striker and Simon Dean should start tagging. That would rule.

Whose bright idea was it to book Balls Mahoney in a straight wrestling match at an ECW PPV?

Mahoney wins with a sit-down powerbomb.

Backstage, Sabu has been attacked. Heyman wants to know what happened. Looks like they're taking Sabu out of the match. Crowd is heavily chanting BULLSHIT.

Sylvester Terkay and Elijah Burke up next in a tag match versus F.B.I.

So the Sabu being fired rumours sound a little more reliable now. Would be nice if there was a pay off to that angle other than 'Sabu has been fired and will soon join the VKM'.

What are the odds that we're getting Hardcore Holly in the main event now instead?

LOL, looks like Sabu's career in WWECW is more than over. He really pissed the wrong people off.

Meh, Holly's less spotty at least and adding an extra heel into the match makes the heel side stronger and somewhat more believable, but at this point I've got Lashley down as a heel too since he's just waltzed in and been booked into the main event whilst CM Punk is still getting the biggest star reaction.

Looks like TNA for sabu

Anyone know how Wikipedia's so rediculously quick? I was just browsing, and they already have current results, match times, etc. Pretty crazy.

Burke pins Mamaluke with a face-plant.

Terkay busts out a pretty lame musclebuster that Joey names as such.

Sabu gets carted off in an ambulance.

Daivari and Khali on their way to the ring.

It's Daivari vs Tommy Dreamer

Referee barred Khali from ringside for interference. Might have gotten a bigger pop if they hadn't used that spot in abundance at Survivor Series last week.

Crowds chanting "Fuck him up, Dreamer".

Daivari reverses a DDT into a roll up for the tight-pulling victory.

Daivari over Dreamer...jeez. Is this a 'destroy the ECW originals' show?

Khali back out with a double chokeslam to Tommy on the ramp after the match.

have any of these matches been extreme rules?

Sounds pretty meh at the moment.

What's up with Sabu then? Has he been fired for real or something?

Nope, not so much as a chair shot so far. Although the double handed chokeslam looked pretty nasty I have to admit. Oh here's Hardcore Holly with Paul Heyman, I wonder what is going to come of that.

They play up Tommy as seriously injured, but he struggles to his feet, to chants of "ECW ECW".

A fucking commercial now for See No Evil. Wasn't that months ago? I've never seen a WWE Film production because I'm usually sick of them by the time they are released.

Heyman arrives at Hardcore Holly's locker room. Heyman announces Holly as Sabu's replacement. The crowd aren't happy.

Show is going to retain tonight. I reckon.

Mike Knox with Kelly Kelly out next, and Kelly takes the mic and wishes C.M. Punk luck for the main event, leading to words between the two. Couldn't she have just done that backstage?

Next out are Kevin Thorn and Ariel, and it looks like a mixed tag team match up next.

Next up the 'The only face in this match is Kelly Kelly' mixed tag match featuring the gothic alliance against Kelly and her manslave.

You could be right. He is the one guy that virtually nobody is expecting to win due to his injuries. Therefore, the biggest surprise would be if he were to keep the gold.

Is this not Kelly Kelly's in-ring debut? She's a model, not a wrestler.

Knox is walking out on the match when Kelly is in trouble and looking for the tag.

Crowd heavily chanting for C.M. Punk.

Ariel pins Kelly and the vampire wannabes win it.

Attack continues after the match, and out comes the Sandman to make the save. Don't know what sense that makes, but Sandy gets a pop.

Saaaaandman. Wow finally feels like ECW

Sandman gives Thorn a good caning, and sends him backstage. In the old ECW style, this would have led to a Sandman vs. ??? match, but instead Sandman just drinks a few beers and poses for the crowd.

...Michael Cole PPV shilling...seriously.

An announcement now by Michael Cole, talking about the Armageddon PPV. What a hack. Crowd boos Cole and the wrestler graphics for the Armageddon matches.

Some hot airhead backstage interviews Bobby Lashley, who is soundly booed.

We're at the halfway mark, and this show has pretty much sucked, bar the average opener. Lashley sounds like a child during his interview.

Is the chamber next???!?!?!?!?

Unless Punk or RVD win the belt, the crowd is NOT going home happy.

Ohhh ok 1hr 30 of undercard clearly screams- main event time! It's cool this is free and all...but I find it hilarious that they had a dark match when the PPV has only had 5 matches anyways.

edit: I just realised the best bit of booking so far outside of the opener has been the ability to hide the hard camera side because it'll probably resemble a 1993 WCW event in terms of emptyness

It's looking like the main event is next. How are they going to fill 90mins with this match? I can see an early finish brewing. Just to add insult to injury.

Good thing they've got an interview segment to fill up some time. Paul Heyman to be precise.

Here comes Paul E, the pale shadow of himself that he is.

Love the ring announcer - 'representing ECW, Paul Heyman'..

Er...ain't this an ECW show?

I'm guessing an impromptu tag match coming up...perhaps DX?

Why can't WWE understand that ECW fans want an ALTERNATIVE to Raw and SmackDown, not more of the same.

Heyman and his guards show up, and fans chant "You Sold Out". Heyman says when Hulk Hogan dies, Hulkamania dies with him. And when Ric Flair dies, the Whooos die too. But long after Heyman dies, ECW will continue to live on.

Planning on killing yourself tonight, are you Paul?

You would have thought so...but erm, with ECW PPVs in the past even if the in-ring action was sometimes atrocious, at least there were high spots to keep it going and wacky moves all over the place. It bemuses me that they could book both One Night Stands quite well, but tonight so poorly. It's been dull, not bad, just incredibly dull and for anyone who's had to pay to see it I do not envy them.

Man, talk about filler time.

After the little speech, perhaps Show won't retain. I just hope Bobby Lashing doesn't win, or CM 'please dont blow your load too soon with this guy' Punk doesn't.

so did they announce the sixth man for the Chamber match?

I'm guessing they held off on the Extreme Rules and hardcore spots to make the Extreme Elimination Chamber seem more violent and special.

Still, this has been booked as a one-match card (seriously, who actually bought this PPV for the tag team match) so this match BETTER deliver, else ECW PPVs are doomed.

Well I'm resigned to Lashley winning, but holding out for Punk...although maybe they feel building to a money match between him and the champ at the Rumble or Wrestlemania is a better idea. This is unpredictable at least, but it's also starting very early.

Yeah, Holly.

RVD and Test to start I reckon.

Yeah, Thurman 'Sparky' Plugg. Bet you wished you bought it now, huh?

Vrooooooooom.

Do the crowd even care about this match, even Punk didn't much of a pop.

Looks like RVD and Holly will kick it off.

The crowd have been killed off by the shitty booking.

They were hot for Punk earlier in the show, I think they're staging a silent protest.

Also, the fact that Holly is entering so late could mean Sabu will still show.

May I ask the North Americans amongst us, how much was this PPV to buy?

RVD gets what you could describe as a polite reception, yet Styles claims it's a "thunderous ovation". Is J.R. feeding him lines again tonight?

He's certainly learning from the guy. Had JR been feeding him lines, however, I would imagine that he would have said it was Orton, or DX rather than Rob Van Dam.

To be fair, I do like the Elimination Chamber concept, and the Weapons addition is inspired considering there are no weapons involved until somebody emerges with one.

This match COULD end up saving the show. It had more of a fighting chance with Sabu than with Sparky, though.

Was that a muted 'boring' chant I just heard? My word, what a disaster this show must seem to Vince and the like, I wonder if we'll see another ECW PPV before next years ONS?

Or called Lashley a hoss

$40 American. I don't really know anyone that bought it though.

The 1st man to leave their pod is...........

C.M. Punk, with a steel chair.

Repeating the old Jerry Lynn spot with the legdrop to the chair. Nice.

Crowd are split between Punk and RVD, it seems. Duelling chants.

One thing about Tazz as a commentator, is he certainly knows how to sell a fuck-up in the ring.....just like then.

I just have a feeling that Punk and RVD are going to be hard done by in this match by the un-creative team.

Well so far Punk's bumps are carrying the match, which isn't usually a sign or winning or staring at the lights...but it shows his talent once again.

Hmmm.... Rob Van Dam vs C. M. Punk at WrestleMania???

Next out is.....

Test, with a crowbar.

If that crobar had been sharp, that would have been sick....

Fuck you ECW. Fuck you.

C.M. Punk eliminated by Rob Van Dam and the 5-Star frog splash.

Punk out first, after an RVD frog splash. Would never have called that in a million years.

Ref fuck up, not counting 3 on Holly, but he seems to be eliminated anyway. Commentators not addressing the situation.