Kurt speaks. Funkometer breaks.
 

Here is a recap from Phil Evans of what Kurt Angle said today on Bubba the Love Sponge:

He put over Dixie Carter. She's paying him more than Vince ever did. She's a better businesswoman than Vince could ever dream of being (maybe because Vince isn't a woman?). He says that her backers could buy and sell Vince and that an NFL owner may be backing TNA soon. They are talking with Hogan and Jericho.

Kurt says TNA's ratings are now beating ECW and Smackdown.

Vince treats the guys who give him respect far worse than the guys who don't. A Dr. told Kurt that the blood vessels on Vince's nose (which he
covers with makeup) indicate that Vince has humungous high blood pressure and is a ticking timebomb for a heart attack.

Shane has done more businesswise for the WWE than Vince. Shane is in charge of the international marketing and has deals with China and Russia set up. Kurt said that he (Kurt) is actually responsible for the deal with China becuase when he was in Japan, China (I assume the country) gave Kurt its phone number and Kurt gave it to Shane who closed the deal. (Intersting that "China" has a phone number, must be some kind of red phone, hotline deal like Batman had). Kurt likes Shane alot and says Shane has a heart, unlike Vince.

HHH is a slimeball.

Adding Hogan, Big Show and Jericho will easily put TNA over WWE.

Can't understand why Test has been buried in WWE. Says that Test is a great worker. he compares Test to a young Kevin Nash (I assume he meant that as a positive thing).

Kurt said he has done more jobs than any top guy in the history of wrestling (Flair?) and is still over.

He concludes by plugging tonight's episode of TNA at 9:00 p.m. on Spike (nice product awareness).

And yes, the thread title is a Futurama reference.

They are talking with Jericho?????????????????????

Kurt, don't break my heart now.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Oh and didn't Angle say a couple of months ago that Triple H wasn't a cancer backstage?

Well then what makes him a slimeball now?

In what world is he living in?

Planet Jarrett

I'm guessing because Steph chose Trips over him.

It seems like Kurt is living in wrestling-is-real World. He speaks very much like that.

:lol:

Can't wait for Slammiversary 2008: Hulk Hogan vs. Big Show vs. Kurt Angle for the <s>WWE</s> NWA Championship.

Pretty intent on burning bridges, ain't he.

IT'S REAL, IT'S DAMN REAL

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

WE'RE GONNA TAKE TNA! ROH! NWA! CHIKARA! CZW! NEW JAPAN! THEN WE'RE GONNA GO UP TO STAMFORD CONNECTICUT! AND TAKE BACK THE WWE! YEAAHHHHH!

THE WWE IS BURYING GENE SNITSKY, HE REMINDS ME OF A YOUNG PSYCHO SID.

YEEEAAAAAHHH!

THE WWE TRIED TO BURY MY GUMSHIELD, WHICH WAS LIKE A YOUNG JAWS FROM JAMES BOND, VINCE IS A SLIMEBALL

Here are some more side splitting quotes from Angle from the show.

"Says his King of the Ring match with Hogan (when he wore that wig) was a ***** match. "Stole the show""
"Has lots of respect for Hogan. "A businessman.""

"Called himself an agent, a writer, and a wrestler"

"If he brought in Wight, he'd not have him lose for 5 years."

Got to agree with Kurt on number 4, though, same with Kane in my book.

In all seriousness, he's just beginning to get into Ultimate Warrior territory with all these outrageous claims.

Next thing you know he's going to be talking about the Kurtnation and writing fucked up comic books about Vince McMahon being violated by Santa.

Kurt Angle: The only man actually TRYING to Outcrazy Warrior.

LOL KK, same idea.

"Says his King of the Ring match with Hogan (when he wore that wig) was a ***** match. "Stole the show""


This is a true statement.

<strike>IT'S</strike> DAMN TRUE

"Big Show was the hardest worker in WWE"
" Again stated TNA had a 1.5 last week and beat Smackdown (?)."

Wasn't Smackdown 1.9 last week?

WWE Legal: Please remove one of these words immediately as it infringes on a copyright held my WWE. This copyright is "IT'S DAMN TRUE". Thank you for your cooperation and we hope you comply. It's DAMN true.

:'(

WWE really needs to debut the Burt Angle spoof character

It's verified. Oh, it's damn verified.

At least he knows what a great worker Test is.
:shifty:

Pretty sure the VERY first match of the Pay Per View that night involving RVD and Jericho stole the F'N show!

:wtf:

Yeah that match was fantastic.

WAY better than RVD Jericho. The crowd was so f'n hot, and on top of it all Hagan tapped, I was marking out HUGE.

BYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH'd
 

Seriously though is Kurt on "the pot"?

See? I told you that Howard Dean would make a great promoter.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86...b__200x233.jpg

i know it's a sucky job but i can't be bothered to fix it...:lol:

OH ITS TRUE! Its damn true our olympic hero is losing his freaking mind.

Kurt just seems to be content with bitching about everything these days. SOUR GRAPES ANYONE

LOL this is from the main page. Same article just more info. Here is a small sample


- RVD admitted to Angle that he had no idea how to work and that he only hits highspots and points to himself and says "RVD".

Either one of two things:
1) RVD is high all the time
2) Angle is nuts.

Either way, I am :lol: about this.

^ LOL

:rofl:

Wasn't Smackdown 1.9 last week?

Heh, give Smackdown some credit.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2007_WW...vision_ratings
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2007_TN...vision_ratings

But in general, yeah, Kurt Angle is in a bad situation mentally.

I'll gladly give them some credit, but the wikipedia ratings usually use the same ones the dirt sheets do, and the dirt sheets get Raw wrong almost every week.

For example, on the 15th, Raw aired with hours of 3.5 and 3.2, making a 4 bloody impossible.

Kurt is such a whiney faggot.

That's what she said.

:shifty:

Wait... getting a shot at the ECW title is being buried? Or maybe he just means anyone on ECW is automatically getting buried. :lol:

And LOL at the ratings thing. No idea if it's true or not. Either way, it's hilarious, for different reasons.

No, getting a shot at the ECW title is definitely getting buried. I mean, when you're doing worse ratings than TNA. ;)

think it was a 2.9.

So, why is Kurt so intent on ruining his own image right now?

I'm waiting for Kurt to start blatantly lying to the point that NOONE will believe him.

"My WWE debut was the most anticipated ever. Fans were waiting 10 years for my to debut while we worked out my contract."

"Kip James was the greatest talent WWE ever had and they dropped the ball."

"I won WWII for America with a broken freakin neck."

"AJ Styles is a great wrestler, and not a spot monkey."

Angle Angle Angle... what the fuck are we going to do with you now?

Fuck Kurt Angle, sure he's a great wrestler but he is a fucking lunatic.

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f1...A/towelie2.jpg

That's why I'm "R-V-Towelie!"

The last time Hogan stole any show was when the nWo hi-jacked Nitro.

I don't even know what to think about all of this. This guy was one of my all-time favorite wrestlers at this time last year. Now the guy has just lost his f'n mind, and I have lost pretty much all respect I had for him. Kinda sad to see what he has become.

I went from respecting Angle to picturing him and Warrior taking turns bukkaking on each other.

...Is bukkaking even a word?

Haha, Angle is insane.

Still, he's great in the ring, and his character in TNA is still entertaining to me. As long as he keeps his crazy off TNA programming, I don't care. I still think he's one of the best ever, despite being nuts.

Judging from his actions and words...I'd say he's on the acid or possibly coke.

I remember about a year ago I wondered why I never heard Kurt Angle give too many interiviews when he was working with the WWE. Now I think I know WHY!

Cuz I never remember him giving an interview where he would put over or degrade a wrestler at all during his entire WWF(E) run. Now, he does it every single week.

Seem to remember a little ppv called wrestlemania 18....



Pretty funny though how when in the wwe all the workers can do nothing but tongue vinces asshole, when they leave its nothing but bad shit they can spout. If they had any balls to begin with they'd make their greviences known while in the wwe instead of talking it up every chance they get then crying like babies when they leave.

Their greivances are just part of TNA's KAYFABE contract. ;)

I'm sorry, I can't seem to recall much of that event.

No, but I'm making it one!

So everyone just shut their bukkaking mouths! :mad:

Who's the Bukkaker?

Kurt's new gimmick.

Here is the show in .ogg format if you guys would like to listen:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZRIV77CR

Okay... nevermind. Test DID get buried tonight.

I broke my neck today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
I reach for Vicodin
Advil and Codine
Try to kill it all away
But I remember every strain

What have I become
In TNA
Everything I did
Or all the shit I say

You can have it all
My Olympic Gold
I will make you tap
Because I'm uncontrolled...

And that...Is a Parody...By HEIDEN-KNIGHT

I know it's kinda linear, but meh.