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-   -   Dumbest name in "major label" wrestling today. (https://www.tpwwforums.com/showthread.php?t=63188)

Kane Knight 05-23-2007 12:02 AM

Dumbest name in "major label" wrestling today.
 
I don't give a shit how gay the guys wrestling in your neighbor's back yard are, or in some fed that only 6 people watch. So no Mickey Mouse leagues. Hell, I barely count TNA.

I've gotta say Samoa Joe. Samoa...Joe? That makes "Brother Runt" look creative.

I'd say Shark Boy, but he's not supposed to be taken seriously. You know, like Cruiserweights and Cena's opponents.

Theo Dious 05-23-2007 12:20 AM

I still think that "Too Cold Scorpio" and "CM Punk" are the stupidest wrestler names I've ever heard.

IC Champion 05-23-2007 12:21 AM

CM Punk Is gay

Londoner 05-23-2007 12:22 AM

The Great Khali.
Hornswoggle(sp?).

Just to name a couple.

St. Jimmy 05-23-2007 12:24 AM

Hardcore Holly.

Theo Dious 05-23-2007 12:27 AM

Hornswoggle wouldn't be such a bad name if it hadn't replaced the perfect "Little Bastard."

Londoner 05-23-2007 12:34 AM

Micheal Cole

Jordan 05-23-2007 12:40 AM

I really like Samoa Joe, 2 Cold Scoprio, and CM Punk's names. I perfer Dalip Singh to The Great Khali but the worst wrestling name ever has to be Brutus The Barber Beefcake, What the fuck is a hair stylist wrestling for?

Dorkchop 05-23-2007 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by St. Jimmy
Hardcore Holly.

I've hated that name the day he changed it. What a stupid name

Dorkchop 05-23-2007 12:43 AM

Also the Ultimate Warrior is a really stupid name too

Theo Dious 05-23-2007 12:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jordan X
What the fuck is a hair stylist wrestling for?

You ask this when WWE has had a clown, a tax accountant, a hockey player, a cologne-shilling fashion model, a truck driver, a garbage man, a Royal Canadian Mounted Policeman, a repo man, and a slew of cowboys working for them? At least the "barber" business makes sense; you beat a guy, then you humiliate him by making him look like an ass. Makes more sense than beating a guy and then auditing him or taking out his garbage, wouldn't you say?

Jordan 05-23-2007 12:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarthTedious
You ask this when WWE has had a clown, a tax accountant, a hockey player, a cologne-shilling fashion model, a truck driver, a garbage man, a Royal Canadian Mounted Policeman, a repo man, and a slew of cowboys working for them? At least the "barber" business makes sense; you beat a guy, then you humiliate him by making him look like an ass. Makes more sense than beating a guy and then auditing him or taking out his garbage, wouldn't you say?

:lol: Point earned hahaha

Skippord 05-23-2007 12:57 AM

Samoa Joe

Fiji Fred could not be reached for comment

Road Warrior 05-23-2007 03:50 AM

Any wrestler who uses a name that does'nt sound realalistic. Rhyno, Sting, The Undertaker, X-pac, and as much as I like him, Edge. I realize wrestling is on some levels not supposed to be realalistic, but I think it would help the legitimacy of it as a sport if more wrestlers went by more real sounding names.

St. Jimmy 05-23-2007 03:53 AM

"The Great" Kahli. He's not great at all. :shifty:

Mr. Nerfect 05-23-2007 04:03 AM

Originally I didn't like the name "Samoe Joe," either, but since then it has grown on me, especially when you actually think about it.

The name could be a tribute to Samoan Joe, who was a babyface wrestler in New Zealand and Australia. Plus the name was used for a restaurant in "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels," wasn't it? It is much better than a lot of names out there today.

Mr. Nerfect 05-23-2007 04:04 AM

The Great Khali is pretty bad.

Dave Youell 05-23-2007 04:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alienoid06
Originally I didn't like the name "Samoe Joe," either, but since then it has grown on me, especially when you actually think about it.

The name could be a tribute to Samoan Joe, who was a babyface wrestler in New Zealand and Australia. Plus the name was used for a restaurant in "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels," wasn't it? It is much better than a lot of names out there today.

He could have a talk show called 'Samoa Joe's' and give everyone fruity cocktails, then Black Machismo would come in and set a man on fire.

(Note, if you haven't seen lock, stock, that's probably lost on you)

Xerzes 05-23-2007 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarthTedious
You ask this when WWE has had a clown, a tax accountant, a hockey player, a cologne-shilling fashion model, a truck driver, a garbage man, a Royal Canadian Mounted Policeman, a repo man, and a slew of cowboys working for them? At least the "barber" business makes sense; you beat a guy, then you humiliate him by making him look like an ass. Makes more sense than beating a guy and then auditing him or taking out his garbage, wouldn't you say?

Are you sure WWE ever had a truck driver? Doesn't seem like it. I'm pretty sure you're thinking of WCW. That was Big Fred(or something like that. Big something. the same guy as Bastion Booger), and Blacktop Bully(who was, of course, also said repo man).

Dave Youell 05-23-2007 04:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xerzes
Are you sure WWE ever had a truck driver? Doesn't seem like it. I'm pretty sure you're thinking of WCW. That was Big Fred(or something like that. Big something. the same guy as Bastion Booger), and Blacktop Bully(who was, of course, also said repo man).

Diesel

chrisat928 05-23-2007 05:26 AM

"The Phenomenal" AJ Styles. :roll:

What the hell's so "phenomenal" about him?:wtf:

The Fugitive 05-23-2007 07:18 AM

I was about to call bullshit until I looked at OWW, Alienoid. I can't believe there was actually a Samoan Joe. I don't think it's a tribute though.

As for my pick of worst name, there's a few, but I'll have to go with A-Train.

mitchables 05-23-2007 07:35 AM

Uh, New Jack.

Theo Dious 05-23-2007 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xerzes
Are you sure WWE ever had a truck driver? Doesn't seem like it. I'm pretty sure you're thinking of WCW.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dave Youell
Diesel

You are correct, sir. :y:

Kane Knight 05-23-2007 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jordan X
I really like Samoa Joe, 2 Cold Scoprio, and CM Punk's names. I perfer Dalip Singh to The Great Khali but the worst wrestling name ever has to be Brutus The Barber Beefcake, What the fuck is a hair stylist wrestling for?

Ask Rico. ;)

Ben Rodrigues 05-23-2007 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dave Youell
Diesel

Woah. Woah. Woah. Was that the gimmick!? All this time I had no idea the Diesel gimmick was that of a truck driver. This changes everything...

Kane Knight 05-23-2007 10:26 AM

Diesel wasn't a gimmick. It was a nickname given to him after Chilli Night at Titan Towers.

Ben Rodrigues 05-23-2007 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kane Knight
Diesel wasn't a gimmick. It was a nickname given to him after Chilli Night at Titan Towers.

Chilli Night? Elaborate my friend... or have I completely missed a joke...

Kane Knight 05-23-2007 10:46 AM

...

Ben Rodrigues 05-23-2007 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kane Knight
...

I live in Australia. What do you expect. :-\

Xero 05-23-2007 11:00 AM

Edge.

Seriously, what the fuck?

DAMN iNATOR 05-23-2007 11:33 AM

Umaga is a terrible ring name, and I also hate how “Black Machismo” sounds. Both are TERRIBLE ring names.

Xero 05-23-2007 11:43 AM

At least Umaga fits the gimmick. If a savage was going around with the name "Jamal" it wouldn't make much sense.

Theo Dious 05-23-2007 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xero Limit 126
At least Umaga fits the gimmick. If a savage was going around with the name "Jamal" it wouldn't make much sense.

There's a racist joke there somewhere...

Anybody Thrilla 05-23-2007 01:27 PM

What the fuck is an X-Pac? Honorable mention to Man Mountain Rock.

Theo Dious 05-23-2007 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anybody Thrilla
What the fuck is an X-Pac? Honorable mention to Man Mountain Rock.

Seriously. Besides, the guy reminded me of Meat Loaf.

Theo Dious 05-23-2007 01:29 PM

Oh, K-Kwik was a pretty gay-ass name.

Anybody Thrilla 05-23-2007 01:30 PM

Remember Kwee Wee?

Theo Dious 05-23-2007 01:33 PM

I do now, you rat bastard son of a bitch. That's five more years of therapy for me to forget again. :foc:

Kane Knight 05-23-2007 01:37 PM

Is X-Pac currently in a major promotion?

Stickman 05-23-2007 01:38 PM

MVP
Edge
Samoa Joe
CM Punk
Sandman
Blue Meanie
The Great Kalhi
Umaga
Bobby Lashley (seriously, that's not a tough guy name)
Boogyman
The Goon
The Brooklin Brawler
Warrior
Sting
Sable
Chyna
Mankind
Cryme Tyme
Chaz
Beaver Cleavage
HeadShrinkers
D'lo
Droz
Animal
Hawk
Earthquake
Tugboat
Typhoon
Big Boss Man

Wow, this list could go on and on.

Arnold HamNegger 05-23-2007 01:40 PM

Damaja

Hearing Mike Tenay pronounce that makes me want to punt a small animal.

IC Champion 05-23-2007 01:41 PM

"Worlds Strongest Man" Mark Henry:shifty:

IC Champion 05-23-2007 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arnold HamNegger
Damaja

Hearing Mike Tenay pronounce that makes me want to punt a small animal.

lol

Kane Knight 05-23-2007 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stickman
MVP
Edge
Samoa Joe
CM Punk
Sandman
Blue Meanie
The Great Kalhi
Umaga
Bobby Lashley (seriously, that's not a tough guy name)
Boogyman
The Goon
The Brooklin Brawler
Warrior
Sting
Sable
Chyna
Mankind
Cryme Tyme
Chaz
Beaver Cleavage
HeadShrinkers
D'lo
Droz
Animal
Hawk
Earthquake
Tugboat
Typhoon
Big Boss Man

Wow, this list could go on and on.

I'm impressed. there are even a few in there that actually are current wrestlers, as "today" implied in the title.

Russenmafia 05-23-2007 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dorkchop
Also the Ultimate Warrior is a really stupid name too

I disagree, I think its an awesome name.

Kane Knight 05-23-2007 01:53 PM

You can't diss Ultimate Warrior.

I mean, the guy's using his real name, so...

Stickman 05-23-2007 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kane Knight
You can't diss Ultimate Warrior.

I mean, the guy's using his real name, so...

His name isn't Ultimate Warrior though is it? Isnt' it Warrior Warrior or something retarded like that?

Anybody Thrilla 05-23-2007 02:04 PM

Say what you will about the current product, but they had way dumber names back in the 'good old days'.

Theo Dious 05-23-2007 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anybody Thrilla
Say what you will about the current product, but they had way dumber names back in the 'good old days'.

If you think about "Hulk Hogan," it is a pretty fucking stupid name.

Arnold HamNegger 05-23-2007 02:15 PM

I'd like to say that I agree with KK...Samoa Joe is a pitiful name. About as creative as Edge calling himself "White Adam" or the Rock going as "Black Dwayne."

Anybody Thrilla 05-23-2007 02:15 PM

Fuck you, YOU think about Hulk Hogan.

Anybody Thrilla 05-23-2007 02:16 PM

Half Black Half Samoan Dwayne

Arnold HamNegger 05-23-2007 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anybody Thrilla
Half Black Half Samoan Dwayne

:lol:

I stand corrected.

Arnold HamNegger 05-23-2007 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anybody Thrilla
Fuck you, YOU think about Hulk Hogan.

Honky Terry

Theo Dious 05-23-2007 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anybody Thrilla
Fuck you, YOU think about Hulk Hogan.

Says the man who made me think about Kwee Wee. :mad:

Arnold HamNegger 05-23-2007 02:33 PM

Has anyone mentioned "The Masterpiece?" Because if not, I'd like to say "The Masterpiece." Because if noone has said "The Masterpiece", someone needs to say "The Masterpiece."

Crossrine 05-23-2007 02:39 PM

"The Champ" John Cena :shifty:

Arnold HamNegger 05-23-2007 02:47 PM

Elix Skipper

Stickman 05-23-2007 02:48 PM

Best name ever, Mr Perfect.

Arnold HamNegger 05-23-2007 02:52 PM

Sonjay Dutt

Funky Fly 05-23-2007 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mitchanthropic
Uh, New Jack.

Probably a reference to the movie New Jack City.

Anybody Thrilla 05-23-2007 07:15 PM

I think "The Masterpiece" is a good name for somebody whose alleged surname is Masters with an impressive physique, actually.

Jesus Shuttlesworth 05-23-2007 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Funky Fly
Probably a reference to the movie New Jack City.

Mitch is the whitest person on the face of the Earth, what do you expect?

I'mNotOscar 05-24-2007 01:25 AM

All the Misfits in Action guys had retarded names.

As for today, the name Elijah Burke is kinda lame but I guess it fits him.

loosecollector 05-24-2007 04:28 AM

Never cared for the guy but, how about Marcuis Cor Von?

Lord-Of-Darkness 05-24-2007 06:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DAMN iNATOR
Umaga is a terrible ring name

I'm pretty sure 'Umaga' means 'The End' in Samoan. I may be wrong, but if not then it suits him fine.

As for the whole Diesel thing, they never actually said he drove a truck. But that he had the power of a diesel truck. Its in the commentary of one of my classic line DVDs.

Theo Dious 05-24-2007 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lord-Of-Darkness
I'm pretty sure 'Umaga' means 'The End' in Samoan. I may be wrong, but if not then it suits him fine.

The only problem is that to most of the audience it means "gibberish from a drooling savage."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lord-Of-Darkness
As for the whole Diesel thing, they never actually said he drove a truck. But that he had the power of a diesel truck. Its in the commentary of one of my classic line DVDs.

When he first showed up, in WWF magazine they said that he had been a truck driver, there was a story about him surviving his truck jackknifing and walking away without a scratch.

Lord-Of-Darkness 05-24-2007 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarthTedious
When he first showed up, in WWF magazine they said that he had been a truck driver, there was a story about him surviving his truck jackknifing and walking away without a scratch.


Well just goes to show WWE's lack of continuity has always been there.
And on top of that their magazines have always been known to just make up their own kayfabe stories, and then TV completely contradicts them.

Theo Dious 05-24-2007 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lord-Of-Darkness
Well just goes to show WWE's lack of continuity has always been there.
And on top of that their magazines have always been known to just make up their own kayfabe stories, and then TV completely contradicts them.

True enough. I think at times they've thought up stories that they never really used on TV, but that the magazine writers have gotten hold of and published.

Kane Knight 05-24-2007 11:13 AM

I'm pretty sure that they used that on TV at some point, because I remember it and I don't read WWF magazines.

Lord-Of-Darkness 05-24-2007 11:54 AM

Then in that case I blame the writers continuity. That way I have an excuse....and lets face it, not many people will argue with that.

Theo Dious 05-24-2007 12:06 PM

Well, the difference I think is, that while IRS was still supposedly auditing people, and Repo Man was presumably still absconding with unpaid-for property, I don't think were were supposed to think that Diesel left the arena, jumped into his rig, and headed for the next show.

Anybody Thrilla 05-24-2007 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I'mNotOscar
As for today, the name Elijah Burke is kinda lame but I guess it fits him.

It's his real name, isn't it?

Theo Dious 05-24-2007 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anybody Thrilla
It's his real name, isn't it?

Doesn't mean it isn't lame. HBK's real name is Michael Hickenbottom, isn't it?

Theo Dious 05-24-2007 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by St. Jimmy
"The Great" Kahli. He's not great at all. :shifty:

From Dictionary.com:
Great - Unusually or comparatively large in size or dimensions. :p

Anybody Thrilla 05-24-2007 02:23 PM

I think Elijah Burke is a fine name. What's so silly about it?

Theo Dious 05-24-2007 02:31 PM

To me it just SCREAMS "Indy Wrestler."

Anybody Thrilla 05-24-2007 02:37 PM

Remember Prince Iaukea?

Theo Dious 05-24-2007 02:43 PM

Nope.

Anybody Thrilla 05-24-2007 03:03 PM

Damn it. Not the same impact as Kwee Wee.

FourFifty 05-24-2007 09:32 PM

AJ Styles sounds too gimmicky.

Batsu 05-24-2007 10:09 PM

Marcus Corvon.
(especially since we all know his name is really Monty Brown...)

The One 05-24-2007 10:13 PM

Names in wrestling always sound fucking dumb to me.

NeanderCarl 05-24-2007 10:27 PM

Rick Rude always sounded pretty dumb to me. I couldn't believe it when I found out that was actually his real name.

As for nowadays.... Cor Von is a ridiculous name. At least he dropped the "Marquis" for Marcus.

Crossrine 05-24-2007 10:28 PM

Would Hornswoggle count??

ClockShot 05-24-2007 10:29 PM

Dr. Death Steve Williams.

What was he, Jack Kavorkian's student or something?

NeanderCarl 05-24-2007 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ClockShot
Dr. Death Steve Williams.

What was he, Jack Kavorkian's student or something?

It was his real-life nickname from his football days.

ClockShot 05-24-2007 10:32 PM

Wasn't it a comic book character or something as well?

Dorkchop 05-24-2007 11:06 PM

Triple H is pretty stupid. It's just a nick name he got from his "full" name.

RP 05-25-2007 12:17 AM

The Boogey Man

Theo Dious 05-25-2007 12:18 AM

I find it funny that "Triple H" has outlived any significance that "Hunter Hearst Helmsley" ever had. Fuck, I'm pretty sure Michaels only started calling him that in DX to make his name sound "cool" somehow, right? I mean, you had "Double A" Arn Anderson, and "Double J" Jeff Jarrett, so it makes sense. But still, here we are fucking ten years later, and he's still "Triple H," and I don't think "Hunter Hearst Helmsley" has been mentioned on TV since Goldberg said it back in 2003.

redoneja 05-25-2007 12:19 AM

I think Damaja is worse than Samoa Joe.

Xero 05-25-2007 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarthTedious
I find it funny that "Triple H" has outlived any significance that "Hunter Hearst Helmsley" ever had. Fuck, I'm pretty sure Michaels only started calling him that in DX to make his name sound "cool" somehow, right? I mean, you had "Double A" Arn Anderson, and "Double J" Jeff Jarrett, so it makes sense. But still, here we are fucking ten years later, and he's still "Triple H," and I don't think "Hunter Hearst Helmsley" has been mentioned on TV since Goldberg said it back in 2003.

What's really sad is that I'm willing to bet that most newer fans don't even know what it stands for. Maybe they know the "Hunter", but that's it.

chrisat928 05-25-2007 01:09 AM

It's not just the coolest!
It's not just the best!
It's Justin Credible!

My head hurts now.

apokalypse7 05-25-2007 03:56 AM

seriously, while I like him as a wrestler,
Edge sucks as a ring name, "Edge of what"
and votes for CM Punk too,

My all time suckiest ring name......the heart break kid

maybe not as a name, but as a gimmick for a 42 year old, balding, bow legged, bad backed, wrestler that has found GAWD:shifty:
and lose that fucking music!!!

runs for cover from all kliq related people.


and who needs rep!!!!!

SammyG 05-25-2007 04:32 AM

The Great Khali is pretty bad. Samoa Joe is hilarious.


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